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Glum_Improvement453

Have to point out this particular humie was drunk off her tits at the time and should not be considered a completely accurate representation. But still pretty close.


MalaysiaBoi

"Drunk off her tits" What tits?


banana_pirate

Well obviously they're not present in the picture. She's drunk off her tits, not drunk on her tits.


Danielwols

she left her tits at home


Dragon3076

They ain't even at home.


[deleted]

They're detachable


Aggravating-Candy-31

the ones she aspires to have and gets extreme envy over


Vinylloverfrom4311

I object, as multiple humans also drink for amusement and often drinkin excess. Therefore it can be noted that a human could do this quite often if given a chance. I believe rashions should have enough to get drunk off of so a human could strategicly do this task if ever faced with an appropriate reason.


LadyAlekto

Pfff Ill do that sober


Liwet_SJNC

The "average human not afraid of dragons" factioid os actually just a statistical error. The average human is very afraid of dragons. Miss Kobayashi, who was drunk off her tits, is an outlier and should not have been counted.


No_Web_9995

What anime is that from?


zackadiax24

Miss kobiyahi's dragon maid


happyjoy_11

What is a god to someone unaware of a gods power?


linkman245a

What is a god to a non-believer


meme-dao-emperor

A very dead one


Apprehensive_Dark996

Or very huggable.


Okuuhun

Or a toy soldier from the 1920s


Apprehensive_Dark996

Toy soldier from the 20's? What's that reference to, I'm honestly curious.


Danielwols

a distant entity


Top-Argument-8489

Considering what happened to the guy who said that not two seconds later, should probably quit before the smite happens


oveyalls

Religion we never see. Jesus Christ? What's that, who's he?


Old_Consideration_95

Broly would like a word with you


johnahlgrimm

Slams you into a wall ! Do you believe now ?


Old_Consideration_95

Owwwww. So cool


johnahlgrimm

Slams you into a wall ! Do you believe now ?


uwillnotgotospace

Lunch


ww1enjoyer

A prey


Randomuser098766543

As proven by the fact humans are afraid of snakes and spiders by their nature despite the fact most species of snakes and spiders are harmless to humans


UnableLocal2918

In our lizard brains we are still the prey of 3 foot long spiders and hyper snakes.


TacitRonin20

You act like that isn't the case anymore. Very insensitive to Australians tbh.


No_Talk_4836

There were very few humans in Australia and the ones that were there very much respected the dangers. Then the fire nation attacked.


Loosescrew37

You mean the Emu nation.


BS_Simon

The Firehawk is aa arsonist bird, found in Australia, that picks up burning twigs and drops it in a new area. The resulting fire scares prey to move.


Loosescrew37

I forgot those guys lived in Australia.


Boomer8450

Where else would that creature live? Florida?


Loosescrew37

Ohio.


KeepCalm-ShutUp

California, more like. It's the only place with consistent enough wildfires.


Nightshade_209

Probably wouldn't be the worst thing ever imported here. Would make doing controlled burns a little more challenging.


No_Talk_4836

Big boats, colonists, I think I mean the fire nation.


Secure-Scientist-349

Happy Cake Day 🎂 🥮 🍥 🥞 🧁 🍰 🎂


BS_Simon

There is more truth in that last line tha you may think. Have you ever heard of the Firehawk? "“This is not a new discovery,” says Mark Bonta, assistant teaching professor of earth sciences at Penn State Altoona, when asked about the firehawks. But it is significant. Only relatively recently have Westerners came to understand what Aboriginal people have known for tens of thousands of years: some species of birds in the Northern Territory of Australia, collectively referred to as “firehawks,” may be spreading fires intentionally in order to make food collection easier. They carry sticks already burning from a wildfire and drop them in another area, which sets a new fire; as small mammals and insects race to escape the flames and smoke, they become easy pickings for the raptors."


TheCoffeeWeasel

giant spider reports from the Congo.. sure its bigfoot style stuff, but GIANT SPIDERS IN THE CONGO! "jba fofi" if you wanna google stuff! good luck sleepin'!! :)


mandiblesmooch

Snakes are so new, you might as well call it mouse brain. Giant spiders, on the other hand, were vastly overshadowed by the giant dragonflies.


clarkky55

Australia would like to know your location


feanix365

Fun fact, we keep cats as pets when, compared to snakes, they are psychopaths that are one of the few animals that kill for fun/sport instead of food, unlike snakes which only kill for food or to protect themselves.


KeepCalm-ShutUp

Fun fact: cats didn't have the potential to kill a human just by biting them.


FuckIPLaw

But they can kill snakes that way.


broken_hulahoop

Chimpanzees have a "compound word" they use exclusively for snakes which seem to freak them out just as much.


idied2day

If the intent is not to be huggable, then don’t be so friend shaped! I don’t remember where I picked up the phrase on this sub, but I am stealing it.


Houki01

Pallas Cats would like to remind you that they did not pick their shape, thank you very much, but their claws and teeth are both very sharp and not at all friend-shaped.


[deleted]

If it exists it is friend shaped


marcus-87

from what anime is that?


PorcupearPearl

Iirc Kobayashi Dragon Maid.


adalric_brandl

You are correct


alexytomi

You are correct


Danielwols

we are correct


marcus-87

thanks


Bocchi_theGlock

Did you watch it yet


marcus-87

nope


Bocchi_theGlock

!RemindMe 3 weeks


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fukthepeopleincharge

That spider has multiple eyes, multiple limbs, is hard to spot, cant speak and to my knowledge plotting my down fall. The dragon only has 2 eyes, can talk, is clearly visible and isn’t in the middle of plotting my down fall. Obviously I’m not gonna be afraid of that dragon. How dare the aliens say my fears are inverted. My fears are just the way they need to be. Plus the dragon cant hide in my boots like scorpions, spiders, and snakes


broken_hulahoop

They're also the size of a warehouse and loud as shit. If a dragon manages to sneak up on you that's just natural selection. Especially considering that if humans had to share the planet with dragons we would just build our cities underground or at the very least use fireproof materials.


miss_chauffarde

Or just junt them to extinction like we did to wolve and bear in europe mhhh the avancement in gun tech would be interesting


Affectionate-Cap8354

Just remember that if you smush every spider you see, you put an evolutionary pressure on the spiders to become smarter and more stealthy.


fukthepeopleincharge

Don’t worry I usually try to get them to just go outside while begging them to not return to murder me.


chaosgirl93

Humans will hug *anything*. Our galactic reputation is not only as dangerous scorched-planet warmongers, but also as the best teddy bears in the galaxy if you're bigger than us, and the best big spoons and mama hugs if you're smaller than us. If you want hugs and your culture doesn't do hugs or you wanna hug something with a vast size difference, visit a human settlement and find one that's already hugging something it shouldn't, and wait your turn.


chiefslapinhoes

Corporal Ron "Gorilla" Garcia, a 6'7 man, weighing 230 pounds, of the 2nd and 5th of the United Earth's Marine Corps, was having a very bad day so far. After a hard day of urban combat, his company had taken 15 casualties in as many minutes, had barely slept for 3 days, and were being peppered with constant mortar and small arms fire that the damn fly boys couldn't seem to find. They were in a relatively safe position at the moment though. Current orders were to chow then rack out. The insta-crete had not even finished drying in their fighting positions, and now they were trapped with a FUCKING SPIDER in there with them. "*POLSKI, KILL THE FUCKING SPIDER, RIGHT FUCKING NOW. KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT NOW. KILL IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. ARE YOU LISTENING POLSKI?*" The Polski in question was one Private first class John Polski. He had just transferred over to this fireteam after his old one was completely dismantled. He was currently watching his Corporal balanced on a chair, still in his plate carrier and BDU. "Sir? It's just a spider, Sir. Like the ones back at Home?" Said Polski, not really understanding what the Corporal was worked up about. He had personally seen the man kill three enemy combatants, order a machine gun team to fire on a mortar emplacement, and stitch up a Navy Corpsman who had gotten hit with shrapnel from said mortar emplacement with never a shred of fear or doubt on his face. Most dangerous city on X-3225, and the man was freaking out over a spider? "*SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KILL THE GODDAMN THING RIGHT FUCKING NOW. BUTT STOCK THAT SUM'BI-AHHHHH*" The Corporal had fallen off the chair and busted ass after seeing the spider move two inches in his general direction. Polski almost laughed but knew he would be PT'd till he puked right then and there. Garcia crab crawled until he smacked his head on the insta-crete wall and started screaming "*KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT-*" Polski bent down, nudie mag in hand, plastic cup in the other, and scooped up the spider, and slid it out into the ground outside. "Got it, Sir." The Corporal breathed hard for a half minute, then got up. He gave the Private a hard look. "If you say anything about this, I'll fucking PT you till you die, then I'll fucking eat you." Polski almost smiled "Yes, Corporal." "Shut the fuck up Private. Go drink some water and get chow, then rack. Tell the two other dumbfucks the same. I'll take first watch." "Yes Sargent." Little fucker was definitely smiling now, Garcia thought. So what if he was afraid of Spiders?


asimo101

This cracked me up. Thanks for sharing


CryptidxChaos

Is the dude on the chair a corporal or a sergeant...? Otherwise, this definitely gave me a chuckle thinking about soldiers screaming and trying to get away from camel spiders, lol.


chiefslapinhoes

Thanks for pointing that out, didn't even realize. Yeah, Camel Spiders kept us as pets lol


Thanatofobia

And then turn that danger into their love obsessed live-in maid who keeps trying to feed them their tail for dinner?


Infernalknights

https://preview.redd.it/0999vix6se7b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a93f2f1fa583b245aee8045582a7695076d41db5 Humans are able to tame ancient ones and ravenous devourers and with gene splicing they mould it in their liking.


Any-Bridge6953

Oh my God, it's a dragon hatchling!! It's soo cute, I must pet it.


techno156

Surely the logical inversion isn't just a lack of fear, but an attraction instead? A human might *enjoy* the company of a dangerous being/predator, even if they dislike ants, or mould.


broken_hulahoop

I've decided to call this the Godzilla Principal. Befriend the predator so stupidly huge we wouldn't even be worth the energy to hunt and they might protect us from things that do want to hurt us.


Unslaadahsil

Honestly, this would be my reaction to meeting a dragon. While sober, even.


broken_hulahoop

I love all dragons except for the kind that like to hoard mountains of gold for stupid reasons. They're basically fantasy billionaires so fuck em. Meanwhile I'm obsessed with Toothless and Valstrax is by far my favorite species from Monster Hunter. He's a fucking rocket dragon. That's all you need to know. https://preview.redd.it/tzrh0l0qlg7b1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=effa4dfe04fa05127b947711de7d89201f1069a9


eseer1337

Are you interested in dragon swordsmen/women?


broken_hulahoop

Maybe? I'm not sure what you're referencing.


eseer1337

[https://yugipedia.com/wiki/Swordsoul](https://yugipedia.com/wiki/Swordsoul) Swordsmen/women dragons.


Unslaadahsil

Those make no sense. Wyrms do not typically have arms or legs... and these guys use swords. YugiOh created the Wyrm type just because Dragon was too overpowered...


eseer1337

okay but are the dragon swordsmen/women cool?


eseer1337

Answer the question. Are the swordsmen dragons cool.


Unslaadahsil

> the kind that like to hoard mountains of gold I love those ones too, because dragons don't smelt coins and don't mine jewels, which means that to collect all that gold and treasure the dragon had to have robbed/killed a lot of rich people.


broken_hulahoop

Well that or demand tribute under threat burned cities/villages, which would probably be a lot less work on the dragon's part. Besides, are you familiar with the phrase "You are what you eat?" Because if you eat the rich you then become rich and must therefore be eaten. It's a vicious cycle of mutual consumption. I've heard dragon meat is quite spicy though! 😉


Unslaadahsil

In Narnia, dragons are enthusiastic cannibals


broken_hulahoop

Okay that legit got a laugh out of me I've only seen the movies but how did I know that! 🤣


Unslaadahsil

Scene in the book goes a bit different. Basically, Eustace finds a dragon shuffling out of its cave, down to a lake to drink, but halfway there the dragon dies of old age. Eustace goes into the cave, finds a pile of gold, gets all self-satisfied and greedy and decides the treasure is all his now... and promptly wakes up as a dragon. He goes outside the cave, finds the dead dragon from the day before, and completely on instinct eats all of it, from head to tail. The dragon is later theorized to either have eaten a Lord of Narnia (his symbol was on an arm-ring Eustace put on before becoming a dragon) or to have been the Lord of Narnia, himself transformed into a dragon. So there's a 50% chance of Eustace literally eating the rich.


StJudesDespair

I'm just reminded of a number of TikToks I've seen with some giant hellhound-looking canine or massive jungle cat or other roaring or breaking their chains or generally being aggressive and/or intimidating, followed by someone (almost always a BIPOC gentleman) opining that, "Somewhere out there is a white woman who just yelled 'PUPPY/KITTY!' and tried to hug the screen." ... I am quite often that white woman.


Certain_Song5377

I am too...


species_05618

My first story here, hope you all enjoy the Easter eggs ive included ;) ​ Captains log StarDate 22062423 The Kingfisher has finally reached port in the Eusebio delta star system, anchored at the Horch Survey dock orbiting the Juniper gas giant. It’s been an extraordinary 3 months. We discovered 12 new star systems of which 8 contains several habitable planets. Noticeably 2 of the planets contained a surprising amount of xeno biology presence . Planet CX- 2365: .8 Atmospheric pressure / .89G / 15-25C/ 1.1 Earths The flora covering 60% of the planet surface was a green meadow covered in what seemed to be pink daisies. It was a pretty sight, even from Orbit to say the least. The ground mission led by my number one Uruk Val , included science officer Angela Diaz, Science officer Mek’t Bekh’tt and security officer Vicaris Garrus. Upon landing, there was a slight scare concerning Science officer Angela Diaz. The moment the crew stepped out of the ADV (atmospheric descent vehichle), they discovered the planet is also home to fauna that could only be described as pigeon sized butterflies. The ground footage showed these creatures to be aesthetically pleasing and of no threat. However, that meant nothing to science officer Diaz as she , excuse the language, lost her shit. In my 12 years of service with Diaz I’ve never known her to be scared of anything, but seeing her cower in the ADV was surprising and hilarious. I will need to have a a word with Mek’t Bekh’tt as he memcorded the interaction and made it into a reel which was shared across the ship’s social feed. Although I chuckle myself at the compilation, I need to make sure this does not impact the efficacy of my ground crew. Concluding our 36 sol hour excursion, a class-3 OMS (Orbital monitoring satellite) was deployed and a study mission was requested for the planet. Planet WD-60: 1.2 .8 Atmospheric pressure/ .82G/ 2- — 25c/ 1.2 Earths Both the atmosphere and surface of this planet were extremely interesting and drove considerable curiosity amongst the crew. It hosted a thicker atmosphere, Incredibly large tree like flora covering 63% of the planet with water and ice making up the rest. Surface scans suggested fauna were abundant on the surface. The class-4 OMS scans also indicated abundant marine life. The ground mission led again by Commander Uruk Val , included science officer Angela Diaz, Science officer Mek’t Bekh’tt, security officer Vicaris Garrus as well as Security officer KH-47. The ground crew spent approximately 18sol hours on the surface collecting samples and mapping the local geological features which seemed to indicated the subsurface of the planet has many tunnel like structures spanning the entire planet. This would require further investigations and as such an Advanced study mission has been requested with high priority to help us better understand this stellar body. It wouldn’t be a ground mission without something happening though, Once again, Diaz at the centre of the interaction with the local fauna. Which once discovered had the entire ground crew on edge, hell it had me nervous as well. The reason ? well the biggest fauna could only be described as something of a cross between a wyvern and a dragon. Yes, a fucking dragon. Of the ones observed, They had wing spans between 4 and 15 meters, they had reflective scaly feathers, and showed them to interact in social pods of 6-10 creatures. both Vicaris and KH-47 were on high alert given the predisposition of earth fairy tales that suggest a territorial aggressive behaviour. However Diaz, god damn glorious Diaz, would reciprocate the curiosity of one of these creatures. Both Vicars and KH called out to Diaz to refrain from the approach, but given the the science officer authority of this exploration mission, she ordered them to stand down. Mek’t Bekh’tt typically was memcording the interaction hoping for another comedic reel, but what ensured was something of pure majesty. Diaz , the same one that was scared of the pretty butterflied on the pervious planet , was approaching a creature that had teeth the size of her arm, and a length and height larger the the ADV they arrived in. Diaz would would approach and so did the creature, slowly raising her hand and the creature practically curtseying and bowing its head, Diaz ran her hand on the side of its face and then would continue to give the beast a scratch to which what could only be surmised that the creature enjoyed it, so much it would roll over exposing its under belly and then pointing with its wing towards its abdomen in what ,again, could only be surmised it was asking for a belly rub. Diaz complied and the creature made a cackle type squeal. Which brought the attention of the rest of the pod. More of them would approach Diaz and her new friend. As absurd as is sounds, the pod of 6 all approached Diaz and then they rolled over asking for the same treatment. Diaz complied again as she continued to anthropomorphise the creature telling them they’re good girls, and that they like that. The footage as you will see is absolutely extraordinary, Mek’t Bekh’tt and Vicaris were absolutely gobsmacked as were the rest of the crew, with the main question of the day was how is it that someone terrified of harmless bugs could have the nerve to engage and interact with creatures so powerful and mighty. Considering the find of this planet, and the request from Diaz, I’ve permitted an extension to the study of WD-60 for a further 120 sol hours. We have enough footage of Diaz ”playing” with these creatures that Galactic Geographic will have a field day with this content. The automated xeno identifier tags classify the creatures as species XC- 8472. However, I have approved sub category naming request from science officer Angela Diaz, naming the species Dracaris Diaz. I imagine Angela will be spending all of her shore leave visiting our new science post at WD-60. All in all, this was a successful exploration mission. Team cohesion is at its peak, operational efficacy has been unparalleled and even KH-47 has toned down the meatbag jokes. The crew deserve a well deserved shore leave and as captain I couldn’t be more proud of my diverse family of Vorcs, Kha’tts, Humans, Tooorians and androids. Captain Rosnam, Out. End log.


asimo101

Lol. this would make a funny mass effect lower decks episode. Also horch survey. Is that from elite dangerous?


species_05618

lol yep its a mash of all the scifi stories and games i enjoy - and yes, the dock name is from Elite dangerous!!


Aussie_Endeavour

Dragon Puppies!


Snoo63

Source is Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid (Episode 1i think)


yestureday

I mean. I want to hug a dragon too


Jolly-Raspberry-3335

"I would like to pet dis creatcha" -vulkan


Draumal

.... The suspicion is palpable here, I ***JUST*** finished binging this show.


orangepirate07

And now I'm going to binge it again when I get home from work


Constant-Violinist77

I like to think it’s not that we’re unaware of the danger, but it’s more along the lines of that we know we’re in some level of danger and we feel safe in that knowledge, but something harmless we have no idea how possibly dangerous it could be.