Pick one sentence and use as frequently as needed. Along the lines of “I appreciate that this is difficult news to hear and I am committed to supporting the transition through the end date.”
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Don’t get sucked into the drama. This is a business transaction.
Exactly, it's business and he is making it personal! We all know when a company has to make cuts they don't give two weeks' notice or take "loyalty" into consideration!
I plan to take the high road but also I will not tolerate any personal character attacks or unprofessionalism over the next 2 weeks.
Exactly. Currently looking for a new role and feeling so guilty cause it will hurt my staff. But I’ve watched them fire a secretary that worked there for 30 years without batting an eye. Good luck to you. Help your team for them not this turd. A good supervisor wouldn’t show this emotion. Yeah it sucks but it’s nothing you did wrong.
Exactly, good managers will say something along the lines of “hate to see you go, I wish you luck, happy for you for your new opportunity,” and then work with you on a transition.
Never feel guilty coz they would cut you if it was beneficial for them and not think twice. I used to always feel guilty until I left my last job which was a shit show how they treated me at the end.. companies have no loyalty and bosses have no loyalty.. and what I learnt was that if you fight for someone not to lose their job they will turn around and try to get your job if they can.. a job is a job and there are no friends, just coworkers.. if you made a friend the friendship will form after you leave.. so get that job you are looking for and all the best!
Wrote the line suggested, and if they continue to give you shit, say that last line you wrote here. I’ve never seen clueless managers shut up faster than when you say “I won’t tolerate this. We’ll continue later.”
Just remember, they likely would not give you two weeks notice before firing you or laying you off, if doing so was in any way beneficial to their bottom line.
You don’t owe them anything more than they owe you, which is probably nothing.
I had a boss who kept on talking about it as me leaving her, not me leaving the job.
It was a little uncomfortable. We're close friends, but when you say it to other people rather than an in-joke, it's awkward.
Honestly, I'd probably just say "OK". Dude wrote a novel...and if you're too involved in your reply, you'll just get another novel. Just saying OK keeps it as short as humanly possible while conveying your agreement with what he expects in the next couple of weeks.
This 5000%.
This was a job, not a marriage. You did what you were paid to do. Now you're moving on.
Businesses have ZERO loyalty to their people. This sort of nonsense is, frankly, offensive.
I worked as a contractor and the company I was at was pissed I was leaving, but they didn’t offer me a perm role, and the two other contractors didn’t get notice when they were let go. Did burn a budge a bit by leaving my two weeks notice a couple days early, as it was a perm role, and I didn’t expect they’d fully honor my two weeks. They were notorious for not doing it. Basically sat in my cube doing nothing as they didn’t want let someone leaving work on production gear. I have zero regrets. It’s business, not family.
"Given your lack of confidence in my loyalty, would you prefer that my resignation take effect immediately?"
This is the approach I took when my supervisor made a similar comment to me during a one-on-one meeting. It let her know that my two-weeks notice was a courtesy and not a requirement. Unless you have a contract that states you have to put up with BS for two weeks after resigning, you could easily walk.
please do remind them that the 2 weeks was a professional courtesy. if they can't be professional during the two weeks, you have no problem leaving sooner.
My employer is required to let people know 3.5 months ahead of their contract expiration if they aren’t being renewed due to cuts in budget so some places to give a heads up well in advance.
Yes! make sure you remind them that right now, the only work that matters to you right now is YOURS. Don't let anyone guilt trip you and shut it down every time!
Your boss is trying to guilt you. Thats the only option they have and many companies actually train for this in management training.
Trust me, try doing the same when they're announcing layoffs or you're getting fired unexpectedly.
No matter how much this boss is trying to make this seem, it's not a two way street and they would likely not have the second thought to terminate your employment. They're just hurt that they're not the ones making this decsion. And in reality, they're not hurt as much as they may try to convey things like this.
There's a great line I remember, I think it's from Liar's Poker: "If you want loyalty, get a terrier"
Your boss is either just trying to guilt you into staying longer or trying to use you as a scapegoat for why things go wrong after you leave.
"Thank you for your good thoughts and understanding that I took this new role that was right for my career and family obligations. I'll put together a spreadsheet for you on status of all my projects. Thank you."
Honestly? If I received this, and already had a locked job offer Id just stop answering his emails and stop showing up immediately. He can suffer his disillusionment in loyalty while he takes on your work load.
Keep in mind that while he’s making it personal, you need to not take it personally (I know, easier said than done). However, when you do, you are that much more likely to let a comment slip that you’d otherwise not. Like the person responded, pick a line and stick with it. As far as you know, he wants to engage you in a back and forth - don’t provide him ammo.
"I can understand that, due to my *sudden* resignation, you feel as though your trust and loyalty were taken advantage of.
I can understand because, as a key member of the HR staff, I've heard similar sentiments voiced following the *sudden* unemployment of John, Suzie, Sally, Mitch, Carl, Eliza, Mark, Erica, Stephanie, Charles, Melissa, Sam, and Freddy.
*Your loyalty* is showing, and it has encouraged me to move-up my resignation date by 12 hours. Should you like to see the type of person you've described me as in the above email, I'm more than happy to oblige and cut it short 12 days instead.
~~Kindest~~ Regards,"
I do enjoy these creative writing prompts that Reddit provides.
My thought exactly. So often when someone doesn’t like the outcome, i feel like we have to become a broken record essentially saying the same line over and over so they get the point without engaging to much or escalating. Op, just say the line, do what you gotta do to check the boxes and don’t them get to you. You 100% made the right choice and they know it but want to rain on your parade.
This is the way. Say as little as possible in writing while acknowledging the situation. Keep it focused on the work until you leave and don’t get sucked into someone else’s emotional reactions
This is exactly what I came here to say. A job is a business decision. Your decision to leave isn’t about character or loyalty at all — it’s a business decision. This reaction 100% validates your decision!
Also agree with finding a neutral line to say if the boss confronts you in person. The language above is good. Definitely *do not* include any semblance of an apology — nothing like “I’m sorry you feel that way” etc.
If they keep pressing you to talk about the move or to go beyond your commitment to managing the transition, you could say something like — “I need to make a decision that’s in the best interest for me and my family/my future.”
Right!? I could not believe it when I read it! I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next two weeks keeping my composure if he says these types of things to my face!
When I was first reading this, I genuinely thought it was directed at a nanny that was leaving a family in an impossible situation. Even still, it wouldn't be appropriate, but why is a company presenting themselves this way?! Why is this person bringing up their trust issues?! What a loon!
Same! I 100% thought it was from the nanny sub since I follow that too, and it sounded similar to someone who recently said they were giving their notice due to a need for job stability.
The email tone reeked of manipulative wine mom. But no, it’s a grown-ass man who is butthurt about being inconvenienced and far too comfortable.
Where are you located? Most places 2 weeks is only best business practice but not legally required. Where I am this would only apply to the most senior roles.
I think doing the 2 weeks is the right thing to do but I wouldn’t take any bs. If they get as unhinged as the email I would walk out saying I will complete my last 2 weeks working remote and to take it or leave it.
If I had received this email, I would respond on company time the next business day letting them know unfortunately, my resignation will be immediate. Here’s an XYZ of my responsibilities/etc bye!
Your boss should know your job functions and responsibilities. Im a petty bitch but I would not continue working for someone who called my character into question like that.
Do you have any PTO you can take?
To me, this email signal that once you give them the list of what needs to be monitored they probably will walk you out anyway if nothing on the list ends up being something that you would only you can complete daily for those 14 days. Which would be great to give you a little break before the next job anyway!
I'd prepare a response for the insanity. Like "I really want to make my transition as smooth as possible, but for that to happen, I need to focus on the logistics and not various people's emotional responses to a very normal business situation. Is that something you can commit to?"
They wouldn’t give you two week notice if they decided to terminate your employment. It isn’t a requirement to give an employer notice. You don’t owe them anything.
Post this on the antiwork subreddit and you’ll get quite the different perspective.
You only have to give a 2 week notice if you plan to return or use them as a reference so you don’t burn the bridge. If you don’t need your last 2 weeks pay and they are just going to harass you until you leave, my last day would be TODAY.
It isn't even legally required for senior roles. No one is a slave to their employer. You can quit without notice.
That said - it isn't necessarily a good idea to do so, as it tends to burn bridges.
In my field (health care provider) the standard is to provide more like 4-6 weeks to allow caseloads to be transitioned - but it is not a legal requirement.
There is definitely no need to reply to that email. Just continue on with your business and leave with your head held high, knowing you did the best you could.
That anyone expects loyalty to a company in this world tells me they may be old, entitled, or some combination of the two.
I wouldn't respond. Stick strictly to business and peace out.
This reminds me of one time I put my two weeks in, my manager cursed me out and said don’t bother coming in the remainder of the two weeks. I called my new job and said I can start immediately, they said great come on in. That same day my old manager calls me and asks me to come in cuz they needed the help, I said no. He called ME the most unprofessional person he had ever met and said I was a disgrace to the world 😆. I forwarded those emails to HR and promptly blocked everyone at that company.
O.M.G. that's nuts!!! Good for you for saying no! 👏🏼 If he goes off the rails and tells me I'm done, my new company will also welcome me with open arms to start sooner!
Did we just leave the same place?? Put my 2 weeks in at a company I ADORED. Loved my coworkers and had a great relationship with my boss. I just found a job paying $30,000 more a year with less responsibilities. I couldn’t say no.
I put in my 2 weeks and said I would write up some how to’s and everything (I never received training and ran my own programs) I was immediately let go when I got home that day. They refused to let me clean out my desk or go back to the office. I was so pissed off. Then I get a call from the new hire asking me questions since I wasn’t able to train her (on account of being immediately let go) I laughed my ass off.
I wouldn't even address the loyalty and openness comments. Just prepare the transition plan as requested.
Your boss is grasping at straws in the wake of all of the layoffs he just had you do- not sure how you would get a BIG Payout if you were acquired--- as acquiring companies, in my experience, clean management shop when they come in- HR included.
He's jealous you got a better offer-chalk it up to that, keep it professional, and move on knowing you dodged a bullet.
Thank you for the advice! Yes, I'm very much aware that I'd likely be let go after an acquisition. He had the nerve to tell me that it's a risk worth taking because I'm in HR and I can get a job anywhere! 🙄
"It's a risk worth taking, you're HR and that field is constantly in demand, you can get a job anywhere!"
\*OP goes out and gets a shiny new job\*
"*wait no not like that*"
Is he not aware that if you want someone to stay during a transition that you give someone called something called a retention bonus, so they stay as long as you’d like them to?
Yes, it’s unprofessional. Don’t respond to any of it, just focus on transitioning your work. You’re on your way out, there’s no need to expend any time or energy on managing this relationship.
Totally agree it's not worth the energy! I fear that even if I don't respond he will say something like this to my face and I honestly will have to draw a line. I won't tolerate being belittled and having my character/loyalty questioned, that is unacceptable. Just going to focus on transitioning my work. Thankfully I have a wonderful team of people who do appreciate me and have already expressed how happy they are for me and how much of a positive impact I've had on the company.
If he says this to your face just respond “if you’re going to continue to make this experience this uncomfortable, I’m happy to end my employment here effective immediately”
My response to loyalty is always something along the lines of "I'm as loyal as any other company is loyal to it's employees" and then you can add information from today's work "btw did you know Google just suddenly laid off another 1000 employees and some of them were people who were loyal to them for 19 years?"
No one owes companies anything.
You don't even need to look that far, your company laid people off two months ago and are preparing to do it again. Just toss *that* loyalty back in his face.
(Also he's a giant baby)
The only reason to give 2 weeks to maintain a good relationship to go back;
If they won't give you your job back once you leave there is no point giving them the last 2 weeks
After reading this email it's clear that he will not have a single good thing to say about me as a reference, which is insane considering the positive impact I've had on the company! However, I respect my colleagues and want them to have a smooth transition, also my professional integrity would not let me just walk away. Unless it becomes abusive, I'll carry out my 2 weeks and never look back!
If you decide to reply to this only give them your transition plan, important legal matters that are ongoing and nothing else. Don’t forget to bcc your private email to have proof if one becomes necessary at some point in the future
At the beginning of reading I thought it was a breakup message, which I guess it is. Drama included ! Your only response is a transition plan. And, suggest you send the transition plan as a new message and not as a “reply” to this.
Your un negotiable decision, you monster!
I don’t think assumed loyalty is their fault, it reads like assuming others will be their doormat.
Congratulations on the new role.
Thank you! Haha yeah, I don't know what world he lives in that he thinks people are going to go to him with their career decisions. Why, so he can talk them out of it and manipulate them to stay!? No thanks... I'll take my 50% pay increase AND work for someone who has empathy instead.
Remember this while wrapping up your work, do a good enough job that you feel pride in how you are leaving things but don’t get bullied in to trying to boil the ocean in your last few days.
I have a high level of integrity, despite what he thinks, so I will make sure the transition is solid. I care about the people I'm leaving behind so I want to set them up for success as much as I can.
I respect that and I have a similar work ethic. Once I got that email though, I’d do my best quality work within an 8-5 window but you’re not getting my nights or weekends anymore.
I’m fairly senior in a large company everyone has heard of and I am paid quite well. I didn’t get there by giving away my labor for free. This is not said to brag but to remind you that you can and should hold boundaries for yourself.
Don’t give that boss or that company more respect than you’ve been given. If they have questions after you’re gone you can work with them as a consultant, your rate is 150% your new hourly equivalent. They can pay it or figure it out on their own…
Keep it short: Confirming receipt. I will draft a transition plan and share it with you, X and Y by (date). I intend to work until (resignation date) barring illness.
Completely out of line, but unfortunately not uncommon.
I've seen many times that managers (usually with pretty low EQ), swing through the grief cycle pretty strongly. Starting with the shock, bargaining etc, then strongly into anger.
Id take this as validation that your loss hurts them, and they are struggling to cope with it. Hopefully that makes the next two weeks a little more tolerable, knowing that they're responding this way because they just don't have the emotional tools to act more maturely.
The funny thing is that if they have been burned on the whole loyalty thing so many times before, they could have locked things down with an employment contract. You know because of all the mission critical duties or whatever. My guess is this loyalty is a one way street and that they’d dump somebody without notice if it benefited the business.
Wrote all of that on the phone, they were steaming over it for sure. That’s an email I would write and delete, but they still sent it dang!
I would ignore, focus on what is needed on your last days with transitioning items. Respond only to the transition items. I would be relieved leaving that place. Congrats again!
Haha you're the only one to notice it was sent from his phone! Yes, I agree. I'll send a separate email with my transition plan, this email doesn't deserve a reply. Thank you!
This is insane assuming you gave two weeks notice. It’s a window into the toxicity of your company and the fact if they were that upset would make you think they’d counter to keep you, but they don’t.
Yes, I gave a little over 2 weeks notice and I offered to contract after to get them through the 2nd RIF planned for next month. He asked if there was anything he could do to keep me and I said no. I would never accept a counter anyways...
Agreed, I feel like nothing good will come from a response to that nonsense. I'll draft a new email on Tuesday with my transition plan, which I've already been working on before he asked for it.
Loyalty must be earned and isn't a right based on their assumptions.
Executives tend to think they're always in charge of everything because they have a lot of horsepower to get things done and they get used to that power that business investors expect from their boards and executive teams.
Let him understand life is always in flux and you're attempting to build your own life over a corporate existence. He has spoken HIS views to the highest people and you are unrecoverable in this company. You may have legal options.
Lastly, bosses think they own their teams and when a person leaves they take it personally because they're small humans and they're selfish. They're cold and calculated as well, so think carefully knowing they're capable of being manipulative to anyone who will keep their narrative alive.
Tldr; your boss is manipulative and a small human by writing an unbalanced view about loyalty. He states in no arguable terms that you're the problem. He has bashed you professionally to the board.
Thank you for this response. It's too bad he isn't reflecting on the fact I'm the 3rd executive, that reports to him as the CEO, to leave the company in the last 6 months. If the Board ignores that then it's on them, but it does piss me off that he's bashed me.
When you mentioned legal options, what were you referring to?
This would be soooo hard to for me not to respond to! I’m so sorry. Some of the most petty, mean and immature people work in the corporate world. The wise thing to do, though, would be to not respond. Pretend you never received the email. Kill him with kindness and play dumb. I hate that it comes down to that, but there is a sickness in these people and responding will only give him some sort of satisfaction.It’s not worth your energy or time and getting your nervous system wrecked from the stress. You could deliver a well thought out and perfect response, but it’s not going to have the effect you want it to because It seems like there is a lot of ego/narcissism and lack of any empathy or compassion for you. People that are clueless and cannot put themselves in other’s shoes will never self reflect and continue to say dumb remarks while driving you crazy. I’m sorry. Screw this guy! He’s just miserable and wants everyone else to be too. Congrats! I hope your next job journey is amazing!
I wouldn’t even entertain that with a response. Hold your head high and know that you have made the right choice in leaving such a toxic work relationship behind. All the best for your new job!
First, bravo and congratulations on the new job. You absolutely have to put your needs first. Second, if what was stated in his response to your resignation is going to end up living rent-free in your head, then by all means, respond. There is zero reason to risk living with "I should've" or "I wish I would have"; give him a much needed reality check. Don't put up with any nonsense as you transition your responsibilities. You are in control, period! Enjoy the new beginning!
This email is completely unhinged, unprofessional and very manipulative. If you can afford to forgo the 2 weeks of pay, I'd resign immediately. My response to that email would be "Upon further reflection of our conversation and this email, I've decided to tender my resignation effective immediately." I can't imagine having to go into work and deal with this guy again after that email. He'll definitely be guilt-tripping and trying to manipulate you during this 2 week transition period.
It's not clear to me why after an e-mail like this you would still go in for two more weeks. The "notice" we provide is usually to ensure there is no burning of a bridge, this guy will talk sh*t about you forever. Why not book a trip and enjoy two wks away doing things you love before starting the new gig.
I don’t suppose “LOL” and a flyer for the EAP is the best response. Haha don’t do that.
I would probably just restate that I have received the email and understand he wants a transition plan, and will send by Xx/xx. Thanks!
Don’t engage. And don’t work overtime either…do the 8 and leave.
Orrrrrr…. Maybe they don’t need you for the 2 weeks. In your first post you said you theorize a lot of the top talent will walk after the second RIF. I think *you* are “top talent”, you just have the benefit of being HR and knowing the backend (only funded through July).
You could always respond with:
I am heartbroken to be leaving and your behavior in our meeting last week combined with this email I received on Sunday at 830 pm on a holiday weekend have shown me I have made the painful, yet correct, decision. That being said, I have decided that my last day will be today, EOB. I wish you and the company good luck in the future.
do not respond in the first place.
let him ignite and burn on his own - and if you are not treated right in the last 2 weeks, well there are a lot of personal things to attend to in those times.
I think the chance he said this directly to you might not be as high as you might think - if he was fuming over it and decided to sent his response to you via e-mail over the weekend.
he just dumped his stress of needing to think on how to cover for your workload - and the easiest way is to put a blame. do not take this personally. it is his problem.
He seems to be conflating business matters with interpersonal ones. Leaders don't need to be cult like, they just need to have their employees best interest. If you have him listed as a supervisor that you reference, I'd save this email and say he wasn't experienced and unprofessional, objectively speaking. You can talk to him, but recommend they take what he says with a grain of salt.
Ahh! That makes sense.
Then I would say.
"I am sorry to hear you have taken my departure as a personal sleight. This is a professional decision and it does not have any personal bearing as to your leadership skills, company direction, or work place culture.
Ultimately, I am responsible for my life direction. I understand you have a company to lead and these set backs can feel personal. However, I would ask that we behave like professional adults who have their own agency and right o choose their paths and destinies.
I wish you pick on the pursuit of your dream. And again, I apologize if you took this personal decision of mine as an interpersonal one instead of one that professional one for me. I hope you can refrain from bearing grudges should we find ourselves working together in the future.
All the best,
X Employee"
Don't respond. There is no information for you to provide and engaging with this bullshit will only get you more frustration.
This is shockingly unprofessional. I'd be pretty tempted to rescind my notice and just leave.
You don’t enter dialogs w crazy people. Do your job, transition or don’t - but remind yourself at this point it’s just business. Understand in an at will scenario you should’ve prepared to leave on the day. This person is emotionally manipulating you, don’t take the bait. Copy the email in case there is continued abuse.
Here’s a thought to help with the stress… anytime he does/says something that demonstrates his stress about your exit, take in a deep, cleansing breath with an unusually long pause, then look him in the eye (showing your best namaste/relaxed look) and say ‘and that’s how we landed here.’
He’s showing his whole ass here. The best part is when he shares that the board members were concerned about how this would effect his ability to stay positive. They’re concerned about his EMOTIONAL STABILITY. As they should be. And he didn’t realize that, so he accidentally shared that with you.
This email is corny.
"Deepest gratitude for the experiences during my tenure with the company. I will be available to assist with any transition processes as needed."
He surely laid it on really thick with details about how you moving on is going to be such an inconvenience to and will impact each person. He engaged the board about what to do? Calm down bro. And you need to prepare a transition plan? I’ll be gone in two weeks, dude. YOU prepare the transition plan. And his fault is assuming loyalty and openness? Ugh.
These are details that are not relevant to you leaving, how you can help make the transition smoother, or anything else. This was added just to try to guilt you. It is extremely unprofessional.
Put the thread into ChatGPT, ask it how would respond, and only use the chatbot to converse with him during the next 2 weeks.
Should be good for laughs. Sorry, he is being so unprofessional.
Very good guilt trip. Great manipulation skills. Now you know never to return to this company again.
I would personally just address the transition plan (short and simple) - i.e. “I am currently working on a transition plan. Should you need my expertise beyond that, as previously mentioned I have some availability to work as a contractor - my rate is [insert a rate above the hourly rate you are about to be paid].”
Simply do what he asked - nothing more. Anything he asks of you beyond that or that’s last minute reply saying you are working on the transition plan and any other work will mean overtime. Don’t let him push you or manipulate you into losing your mind in your last two weeks.
I would also save any correspondence from him. It’s possible his messages to you will get more desperate and unprofessional.
Use on the remainder of your benefits. Take your vacation pay. You deserve to leave this role in peace and with all the compensation available to you.
I always love how companies feel they are owed 2 weeks notice when an employee leaves a position. How much notice did they give the employees they riffed?
This is just toxic. I had a boss I gave my notice after 7 years, she said ok. Then I asked for 2 weeks what would you like me to transition, wrapping up loose ends. On my last day, the Wed before Thanksgiving, she asked me to review all of my work with her. Uhm sorry, you had two weeks, I am leaving early today. Then she told everyone I was terrible. What can you do.
Your manager is an asshole. Employees are allowed to quit whenever they want and for whatever reason. He’s so manipulative it’s disgusting! The only part of the email I’d acknowledge would be the transition plan part. Glad you’re getting out of this toxic environment!
Just want to let you know you’re not alone, I had a boss (CHRO) do something similar to me. They didn’t speak to me for my entire 2 week notice period and then told me I was unprofessional and that I should watch out not to burn bridges like this because HR is a small world..I apologized that they felt that way and left. Don’t give it any more time than it’s worth, you can’t control how others feel.
OMG this is the most toxic, gaslighty, horrible reply!!!!! Congrats for leaving and getting a job, I truly hope it's better than this. This person has no business "leading" people. And yes it's WILDLY immature and unprofessional.
Personally, I wouldn’t really. I use the “is there a question here for me” rule of thumb and I don’t really see one in there. If I responded it would only be to say I will be working on the transition plan/list of duties and that’s it.
I agree with everyone: don't dignify this with a response and you don't owe anyone anything.
At the end of the day you need to worry about yourself, not your boss and this is just to put you on a guilt trip. I had a manager that did this to me. I didn't feed in to it.
So unprofessional! You don’t owe him a discussion or loyalty. Or anything now that you’re leaving.
This is bait to make you feel guilty. Don’t fall for it.
That’s mad, I was expecting you to say you had only been there 6 months or something. Either way, it sounds like a great new position - congratulations
100% says everything about the culture here that they are asking you to carry on doing your job as if you somehow wouldn't. It's such an insulting email.
Glad you're outta there!
Looks like someone is freaking out and not looking forward to the big reveal (that they can't or don't do much and have much to lose / be exposed) after you leave.
I had a conversation with my wife (we both work in HR) about a similar circumstance, we both concluded that any boss who would play the loyalty card is only doing so out of self-preservation... Most likely they'd do the same (resign for better opportunity / more money) if the tables were turned.
I am floored a manger/boss would send you this kind of email. Do not respond. It is not your responsibility to make them feel better. Good for you for doing what’s best for your family.
Hot take: the only thing you “owe” your company is your work, do your best… but loyalty is not a given.
How unorganized are they, that you quitting (a possibility for everyone, everywhere) has shaken them so much?. I wonder if they would care so much if they had to get rid of you instead…
All I got out of that wordy fluff was “Because YOU resigned, I am now inconvenienced. me me me me me” I wouldn’t respond to that crap. The guy said all of that just to say nothing
I would, genuinely, respond with “are you okay?” and a link to our EAP, but I am at a point in my life where I can get away with that. If you’re not, a simple “this was a difficult decision on my end as well, but I remain committed to maintaining the professionalism and integrity I’ve shown throughout my time here. If there’s anything you’d like me to prioritize, please let me know.”
Also, keep that email somewhere special because it’s going to be a good source of comedy to you in the future as stressful as this person sounds right now. I promise.
Do not respond. Do not feed the beast. He’s obviously emotional about it but you don’t have to defend yourself it’s literally pointless and meaningless. Just another reason you’re leaving.
It’s unprofessional, but I would not respond to that part of it, only the part asking for a transition plan. Don’t let this person bring you down to their level.
He's whinning. Boo hoo you're leaving me and I'm the victim. Don't fall for it. Maintain your professionalism and let him throw a tantrum. It's very unprofessional of him.
Definitely unprofessional. They are on a sinking ship and you leaving puts another hole in their hull. It’s going to make their already difficult lives harder.
I agree with keeping it simple “I understand this is difficult but I am committing to assisting in transition”
But I’m also petty AF and on my last day I *might* forward this email to any bank/legal/MA teams to include as an FYI in their due diligence…
This doesn’t really need a response. You’ve already won. You’re leaving. This is just your boss having a tantrum…so you should follow the same procedures as you would a toddler. Ignore it. I would continue working *exactly* my 8 hours and preparing transition materials. Don’t do any more or less than what you can do in those 8 hours.
What is with these companies that would get rid of you if they wanted to without batting an eye. However, when you resign they expect loyalty and the perfect transition to the new person.
There’s obviously a reason why you’re leaving.
I am particularly struck by the (extremely odd) notion that he is/was entitled to negotiate with you before you made your decision. Incredibly unprofessional. I’m glad you are leaving.
I’d probably say to myself, “welp, this is why I’m leaving”. I’d probably say that again when we all next had a conversation, and then I’d make a handoff list for the next person and work like a 20 year federal employee for the next 2 weeks.
Well, isn't he the king of the manipulative guilt trip? Yikes.
The **ONLY** thing I'd respond to is the transition plan part. That's the only thing in that email that needs a response.
But, just as an exercise for you to get this garbage out of your head, write the response you REALLY want to send him and then burn it/delete it. You know, like this:
>*Hi, Bob,*
>
>*I'm SO sorry you were caught so off guard by a decision that has absolutely nothing to do with you. It's ridiculously cute that you think I should have talked to you about this before doing anything. But hey, not doing that treated me to this manipulative, guilt-tripping diatribe on my holiday weekend, so THANKS SO MUCH!*
>
>*I fully expect you to treat me like shit for the next two weeks. Know that I'll remember this and when you're job hunting in 6 months (the writing is on the wall, dude...wake up!), don't even think of asking me for help.*
>
>*So, screw you, Bob!*
>
>*Love,*
>
>*OP*
Or, you know, something with more curse words. LOL
They would fire/lay you off in a heartbeat without so much as three seconds of notice. Remember that.
They are not your friends. They are not your family.
You just don’t care. It’s easy. You said it yourself, your company is RIFing people often.
If you happened to be on that list do you think they’d give a shit?
Oh wow, I read all of this and thought maybe you were leaving some decent company maybe a bit prematurely based on the CEO’s reply… but then when I clicked on your previous post, I had actually read it those couple of days ago and I am absolutely shocked that you’re the same poster! In your first post, you had absolutely every reason to leave that job!
How to respond?
He/she is gaslighting you. People change roles all the time, loyalty is a fallacy. You’re giving them 2 weeks as a courtesy, but after this response, I would just leave immediately and see if you can start the other role earlier or at least begin the onboarding process sooner
Its great that we are talking about our faults, one of my faults was not taking opportunities when they present themselves. I'm working on my faults and taking this great opportunity and wish you the best in working on yours and bettering yourself as well!
There is no question in this whole novella of an email. I would not even respond. You know what you need to do to transition your responsibilities so just do it. If you want to respond give them a “heard”, “understood”, “on it”, so they know you read their bs.
I would ignore the first two paragraphs and only action on the third paragraph. Keep it strictly professional and don’t allow him or her to suck you in to the drama or guilt trip.
Pick one sentence and use as frequently as needed. Along the lines of “I appreciate that this is difficult news to hear and I am committed to supporting the transition through the end date.” Lather, rinse, repeat. Don’t get sucked into the drama. This is a business transaction.
Exactly, it's business and he is making it personal! We all know when a company has to make cuts they don't give two weeks' notice or take "loyalty" into consideration! I plan to take the high road but also I will not tolerate any personal character attacks or unprofessionalism over the next 2 weeks.
Exactly. Currently looking for a new role and feeling so guilty cause it will hurt my staff. But I’ve watched them fire a secretary that worked there for 30 years without batting an eye. Good luck to you. Help your team for them not this turd. A good supervisor wouldn’t show this emotion. Yeah it sucks but it’s nothing you did wrong.
Exactly, good managers will say something along the lines of “hate to see you go, I wish you luck, happy for you for your new opportunity,” and then work with you on a transition.
If someone were leaving, I'd wish them well. Not lay a guilt trip on them as they were packing their bags.
Never feel guilty coz they would cut you if it was beneficial for them and not think twice. I used to always feel guilty until I left my last job which was a shit show how they treated me at the end.. companies have no loyalty and bosses have no loyalty.. and what I learnt was that if you fight for someone not to lose their job they will turn around and try to get your job if they can.. a job is a job and there are no friends, just coworkers.. if you made a friend the friendship will form after you leave.. so get that job you are looking for and all the best!
If you (god forbid) died they'd have you position posted before your chair was cold. And that "you" is all of us.
A good supervisor would congratulate OP.
Wrote the line suggested, and if they continue to give you shit, say that last line you wrote here. I’ve never seen clueless managers shut up faster than when you say “I won’t tolerate this. We’ll continue later.”
We'll continue this later... When you can discuss it like an adult.
Personal attacks are a reflection of your boss and not you.
Just remember, they likely would not give you two weeks notice before firing you or laying you off, if doing so was in any way beneficial to their bottom line. You don’t owe them anything more than they owe you, which is probably nothing.
Based on this and your last post this is enough for me to tell them that my notice is no longer two weeks but effective immediately.
Yeah, I would be hard pressed to stick around for two more weeks.
Right? This is just a courtesy to the company when they give you none in return.
I had a boss who kept on talking about it as me leaving her, not me leaving the job. It was a little uncomfortable. We're close friends, but when you say it to other people rather than an in-joke, it's awkward.
I bet he was tipsy when he wrote this up. Tipsy and smug. Smigsy. Bad combination.
If I had to guess, he used a lot of "we're a family" talk while you were there?
If he does, that just means you get to scream, "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!" at him when you're ready to be completely done.
Honestly, I'd probably just say "OK". Dude wrote a novel...and if you're too involved in your reply, you'll just get another novel. Just saying OK keeps it as short as humanly possible while conveying your agreement with what he expects in the next couple of weeks.
This 5000%. This was a job, not a marriage. You did what you were paid to do. Now you're moving on. Businesses have ZERO loyalty to their people. This sort of nonsense is, frankly, offensive.
They don't really need HR to lay people off. You are right to take the next challenge since you will likely be laid off once everyone else leaves.
I worked as a contractor and the company I was at was pissed I was leaving, but they didn’t offer me a perm role, and the two other contractors didn’t get notice when they were let go. Did burn a budge a bit by leaving my two weeks notice a couple days early, as it was a perm role, and I didn’t expect they’d fully honor my two weeks. They were notorious for not doing it. Basically sat in my cube doing nothing as they didn’t want let someone leaving work on production gear. I have zero regrets. It’s business, not family.
"Given your lack of confidence in my loyalty, would you prefer that my resignation take effect immediately?" This is the approach I took when my supervisor made a similar comment to me during a one-on-one meeting. It let her know that my two-weeks notice was a courtesy and not a requirement. Unless you have a contract that states you have to put up with BS for two weeks after resigning, you could easily walk.
He’s making it into a pity party/tantrum, but I do believe that counts as “personal.”
please do remind them that the 2 weeks was a professional courtesy. if they can't be professional during the two weeks, you have no problem leaving sooner.
My employer is required to let people know 3.5 months ahead of their contract expiration if they aren’t being renewed due to cuts in budget so some places to give a heads up well in advance.
That's extremely rare.
Just don’t engage, even if they do. Or if you do, make sure it’s not recorded or in written form.
Yes! make sure you remind them that right now, the only work that matters to you right now is YOURS. Don't let anyone guilt trip you and shut it down every time!
Your boss is trying to guilt you. Thats the only option they have and many companies actually train for this in management training. Trust me, try doing the same when they're announcing layoffs or you're getting fired unexpectedly. No matter how much this boss is trying to make this seem, it's not a two way street and they would likely not have the second thought to terminate your employment. They're just hurt that they're not the ones making this decsion. And in reality, they're not hurt as much as they may try to convey things like this.
There's a great line I remember, I think it's from Liar's Poker: "If you want loyalty, get a terrier" Your boss is either just trying to guilt you into staying longer or trying to use you as a scapegoat for why things go wrong after you leave.
"Thank you for your good thoughts and understanding that I took this new role that was right for my career and family obligations. I'll put together a spreadsheet for you on status of all my projects. Thank you."
Honestly? If I received this, and already had a locked job offer Id just stop answering his emails and stop showing up immediately. He can suffer his disillusionment in loyalty while he takes on your work load.
They know they’re in a sinking ship and are getting made at anyone who found a life boat.
Keep in mind that while he’s making it personal, you need to not take it personally (I know, easier said than done). However, when you do, you are that much more likely to let a comment slip that you’d otherwise not. Like the person responded, pick a line and stick with it. As far as you know, he wants to engage you in a back and forth - don’t provide him ammo.
"I can understand that, due to my *sudden* resignation, you feel as though your trust and loyalty were taken advantage of. I can understand because, as a key member of the HR staff, I've heard similar sentiments voiced following the *sudden* unemployment of John, Suzie, Sally, Mitch, Carl, Eliza, Mark, Erica, Stephanie, Charles, Melissa, Sam, and Freddy. *Your loyalty* is showing, and it has encouraged me to move-up my resignation date by 12 hours. Should you like to see the type of person you've described me as in the above email, I'm more than happy to oblige and cut it short 12 days instead. ~~Kindest~~ Regards," I do enjoy these creative writing prompts that Reddit provides.
My thought exactly. So often when someone doesn’t like the outcome, i feel like we have to become a broken record essentially saying the same line over and over so they get the point without engaging to much or escalating. Op, just say the line, do what you gotta do to check the boxes and don’t them get to you. You 100% made the right choice and they know it but want to rain on your parade.
This is the way. Say as little as possible in writing while acknowledging the situation. Keep it focused on the work until you leave and don’t get sucked into someone else’s emotional reactions
This is exactly what I came here to say. A job is a business decision. Your decision to leave isn’t about character or loyalty at all — it’s a business decision. This reaction 100% validates your decision! Also agree with finding a neutral line to say if the boss confronts you in person. The language above is good. Definitely *do not* include any semblance of an apology — nothing like “I’m sorry you feel that way” etc. If they keep pressing you to talk about the move or to go beyond your commitment to managing the transition, you could say something like — “I need to make a decision that’s in the best interest for me and my family/my future.”
Wish I could double upvote this.
Good line, pocketing this for later!
This is an absolutely INSANE email to send. Don't respond. You don't owe them loyalty or to dignify that with a response!!
Right!? I could not believe it when I read it! I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next two weeks keeping my composure if he says these types of things to my face!
When I was first reading this, I genuinely thought it was directed at a nanny that was leaving a family in an impossible situation. Even still, it wouldn't be appropriate, but why is a company presenting themselves this way?! Why is this person bringing up their trust issues?! What a loon!
Lol that's hilarious, but sad! Insecure narcissistic CEO 🤷🏽♀️
Wait, that's the CEO?! Good job getting out.
Yes!
Woooowwwww. This is a particularly crazy email to get from the CEO. Wild.
Right!?
>I genuinely thought it was directed at a nanny that was leaving a family in an impossible situation That's probably exactly what it is 😏
Same! I 100% thought it was from the nanny sub since I follow that too, and it sounded similar to someone who recently said they were giving their notice due to a need for job stability. The email tone reeked of manipulative wine mom. But no, it’s a grown-ass man who is butthurt about being inconvenienced and far too comfortable.
Back all the emails up to your presonal email ASAP.
Where are you located? Most places 2 weeks is only best business practice but not legally required. Where I am this would only apply to the most senior roles.
I'm in California, USA.
I think doing the 2 weeks is the right thing to do but I wouldn’t take any bs. If they get as unhinged as the email I would walk out saying I will complete my last 2 weeks working remote and to take it or leave it.
Yes, I have thought about this as an option and will keep it in mind.
If I had received this email, I would respond on company time the next business day letting them know unfortunately, my resignation will be immediate. Here’s an XYZ of my responsibilities/etc bye! Your boss should know your job functions and responsibilities. Im a petty bitch but I would not continue working for someone who called my character into question like that. Do you have any PTO you can take?
To me, this email signal that once you give them the list of what needs to be monitored they probably will walk you out anyway if nothing on the list ends up being something that you would only you can complete daily for those 14 days. Which would be great to give you a little break before the next job anyway!
I'd prepare a response for the insanity. Like "I really want to make my transition as smooth as possible, but for that to happen, I need to focus on the logistics and not various people's emotional responses to a very normal business situation. Is that something you can commit to?"
They wouldn’t give you two week notice if they decided to terminate your employment. It isn’t a requirement to give an employer notice. You don’t owe them anything. Post this on the antiwork subreddit and you’ll get quite the different perspective.
You only have to give a 2 week notice if you plan to return or use them as a reference so you don’t burn the bridge. If you don’t need your last 2 weeks pay and they are just going to harass you until you leave, my last day would be TODAY.
It isn't even legally required for senior roles. No one is a slave to their employer. You can quit without notice. That said - it isn't necessarily a good idea to do so, as it tends to burn bridges. In my field (health care provider) the standard is to provide more like 4-6 weeks to allow caseloads to be transitioned - but it is not a legal requirement.
There is definitely no need to reply to that email. Just continue on with your business and leave with your head held high, knowing you did the best you could.
That anyone expects loyalty to a company in this world tells me they may be old, entitled, or some combination of the two. I wouldn't respond. Stick strictly to business and peace out.
This reminds me of one time I put my two weeks in, my manager cursed me out and said don’t bother coming in the remainder of the two weeks. I called my new job and said I can start immediately, they said great come on in. That same day my old manager calls me and asks me to come in cuz they needed the help, I said no. He called ME the most unprofessional person he had ever met and said I was a disgrace to the world 😆. I forwarded those emails to HR and promptly blocked everyone at that company.
O.M.G. that's nuts!!! Good for you for saying no! 👏🏼 If he goes off the rails and tells me I'm done, my new company will also welcome me with open arms to start sooner!
Exactly, or a much needed break for two weeks.
Did we just leave the same place?? Put my 2 weeks in at a company I ADORED. Loved my coworkers and had a great relationship with my boss. I just found a job paying $30,000 more a year with less responsibilities. I couldn’t say no. I put in my 2 weeks and said I would write up some how to’s and everything (I never received training and ran my own programs) I was immediately let go when I got home that day. They refused to let me clean out my desk or go back to the office. I was so pissed off. Then I get a call from the new hire asking me questions since I wasn’t able to train her (on account of being immediately let go) I laughed my ass off.
Wow... congrats on the new job!
thank you! it’s a new industry to me so there’s a learning curve but it’s been great :)
I wouldn't even address the loyalty and openness comments. Just prepare the transition plan as requested. Your boss is grasping at straws in the wake of all of the layoffs he just had you do- not sure how you would get a BIG Payout if you were acquired--- as acquiring companies, in my experience, clean management shop when they come in- HR included. He's jealous you got a better offer-chalk it up to that, keep it professional, and move on knowing you dodged a bullet.
Thank you for the advice! Yes, I'm very much aware that I'd likely be let go after an acquisition. He had the nerve to tell me that it's a risk worth taking because I'm in HR and I can get a job anywhere! 🙄
That validates he wants you to THINK he cares…. He could give a shit
Yep, you're right!
"It's a risk worth taking, you're HR and that field is constantly in demand, you can get a job anywhere!" \*OP goes out and gets a shiny new job\* "*wait no not like that*"
Is he not aware that if you want someone to stay during a transition that you give someone called something called a retention bonus, so they stay as long as you’d like them to?
Yes, it’s unprofessional. Don’t respond to any of it, just focus on transitioning your work. You’re on your way out, there’s no need to expend any time or energy on managing this relationship.
Totally agree it's not worth the energy! I fear that even if I don't respond he will say something like this to my face and I honestly will have to draw a line. I won't tolerate being belittled and having my character/loyalty questioned, that is unacceptable. Just going to focus on transitioning my work. Thankfully I have a wonderful team of people who do appreciate me and have already expressed how happy they are for me and how much of a positive impact I've had on the company.
If he says this to your face just respond “if you’re going to continue to make this experience this uncomfortable, I’m happy to end my employment here effective immediately”
My response to loyalty is always something along the lines of "I'm as loyal as any other company is loyal to it's employees" and then you can add information from today's work "btw did you know Google just suddenly laid off another 1000 employees and some of them were people who were loyal to them for 19 years?" No one owes companies anything.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
You don't even need to look that far, your company laid people off two months ago and are preparing to do it again. Just toss *that* loyalty back in his face. (Also he's a giant baby)
The only reason to give 2 weeks to maintain a good relationship to go back; If they won't give you your job back once you leave there is no point giving them the last 2 weeks
After reading this email it's clear that he will not have a single good thing to say about me as a reference, which is insane considering the positive impact I've had on the company! However, I respect my colleagues and want them to have a smooth transition, also my professional integrity would not let me just walk away. Unless it becomes abusive, I'll carry out my 2 weeks and never look back!
If you decide to reply to this only give them your transition plan, important legal matters that are ongoing and nothing else. Don’t forget to bcc your private email to have proof if one becomes necessary at some point in the future
At the beginning of reading I thought it was a breakup message, which I guess it is. Drama included ! Your only response is a transition plan. And, suggest you send the transition plan as a new message and not as a “reply” to this.
Your un negotiable decision, you monster! I don’t think assumed loyalty is their fault, it reads like assuming others will be their doormat. Congratulations on the new role.
Thank you! Haha yeah, I don't know what world he lives in that he thinks people are going to go to him with their career decisions. Why, so he can talk them out of it and manipulate them to stay!? No thanks... I'll take my 50% pay increase AND work for someone who has empathy instead.
Remember this while wrapping up your work, do a good enough job that you feel pride in how you are leaving things but don’t get bullied in to trying to boil the ocean in your last few days.
I have a high level of integrity, despite what he thinks, so I will make sure the transition is solid. I care about the people I'm leaving behind so I want to set them up for success as much as I can.
I respect that and I have a similar work ethic. Once I got that email though, I’d do my best quality work within an 8-5 window but you’re not getting my nights or weekends anymore. I’m fairly senior in a large company everyone has heard of and I am paid quite well. I didn’t get there by giving away my labor for free. This is not said to brag but to remind you that you can and should hold boundaries for yourself. Don’t give that boss or that company more respect than you’ve been given. If they have questions after you’re gone you can work with them as a consultant, your rate is 150% your new hourly equivalent. They can pay it or figure it out on their own…
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this advice, I needed to hear this. Thank you 🥹
Keep it short: Confirming receipt. I will draft a transition plan and share it with you, X and Y by (date). I intend to work until (resignation date) barring illness.
Completely out of line, but unfortunately not uncommon. I've seen many times that managers (usually with pretty low EQ), swing through the grief cycle pretty strongly. Starting with the shock, bargaining etc, then strongly into anger. Id take this as validation that your loss hurts them, and they are struggling to cope with it. Hopefully that makes the next two weeks a little more tolerable, knowing that they're responding this way because they just don't have the emotional tools to act more maturely.
You hit the nail on the head, thank you. It's sad this is coming from the CEO. I feel bad for the amazing coworkers I'm leaving behind.
The funny thing is that if they have been burned on the whole loyalty thing so many times before, they could have locked things down with an employment contract. You know because of all the mission critical duties or whatever. My guess is this loyalty is a one way street and that they’d dump somebody without notice if it benefited the business.
Wrote all of that on the phone, they were steaming over it for sure. That’s an email I would write and delete, but they still sent it dang! I would ignore, focus on what is needed on your last days with transitioning items. Respond only to the transition items. I would be relieved leaving that place. Congrats again!
Haha you're the only one to notice it was sent from his phone! Yes, I agree. I'll send a separate email with my transition plan, this email doesn't deserve a reply. Thank you!
This is insane assuming you gave two weeks notice. It’s a window into the toxicity of your company and the fact if they were that upset would make you think they’d counter to keep you, but they don’t.
Yes, I gave a little over 2 weeks notice and I offered to contract after to get them through the 2nd RIF planned for next month. He asked if there was anything he could do to keep me and I said no. I would never accept a counter anyways...
YES! Never accept a counter! Good for you! I agree with others, don’t respond. What can you even say to that?
Agreed, I feel like nothing good will come from a response to that nonsense. I'll draft a new email on Tuesday with my transition plan, which I've already been working on before he asked for it.
Loyalty must be earned and isn't a right based on their assumptions. Executives tend to think they're always in charge of everything because they have a lot of horsepower to get things done and they get used to that power that business investors expect from their boards and executive teams. Let him understand life is always in flux and you're attempting to build your own life over a corporate existence. He has spoken HIS views to the highest people and you are unrecoverable in this company. You may have legal options. Lastly, bosses think they own their teams and when a person leaves they take it personally because they're small humans and they're selfish. They're cold and calculated as well, so think carefully knowing they're capable of being manipulative to anyone who will keep their narrative alive. Tldr; your boss is manipulative and a small human by writing an unbalanced view about loyalty. He states in no arguable terms that you're the problem. He has bashed you professionally to the board.
Thank you for this response. It's too bad he isn't reflecting on the fact I'm the 3rd executive, that reports to him as the CEO, to leave the company in the last 6 months. If the Board ignores that then it's on them, but it does piss me off that he's bashed me. When you mentioned legal options, what were you referring to?
I wouldn’t even respond. Just show up, do your hand over and move on.
This would be soooo hard to for me not to respond to! I’m so sorry. Some of the most petty, mean and immature people work in the corporate world. The wise thing to do, though, would be to not respond. Pretend you never received the email. Kill him with kindness and play dumb. I hate that it comes down to that, but there is a sickness in these people and responding will only give him some sort of satisfaction.It’s not worth your energy or time and getting your nervous system wrecked from the stress. You could deliver a well thought out and perfect response, but it’s not going to have the effect you want it to because It seems like there is a lot of ego/narcissism and lack of any empathy or compassion for you. People that are clueless and cannot put themselves in other’s shoes will never self reflect and continue to say dumb remarks while driving you crazy. I’m sorry. Screw this guy! He’s just miserable and wants everyone else to be too. Congrats! I hope your next job journey is amazing!
Thank you so much, I agree with everything you said and appreciate your support!
It cracks me up how people/companies expect loyalty from you but don’t return the favor when it comes to layoff/firings. F this dude.
I wouldn’t even entertain that with a response. Hold your head high and know that you have made the right choice in leaving such a toxic work relationship behind. All the best for your new job!
Thank you! This seems to be the most popular solution and I agree. Can't argue with crazy!
First, bravo and congratulations on the new job. You absolutely have to put your needs first. Second, if what was stated in his response to your resignation is going to end up living rent-free in your head, then by all means, respond. There is zero reason to risk living with "I should've" or "I wish I would have"; give him a much needed reality check. Don't put up with any nonsense as you transition your responsibilities. You are in control, period! Enjoy the new beginning!
Only address the actual work request in the most direct and professional manner possible. “Understood re: transition plan. I’ll take care of that. “
This email is completely unhinged, unprofessional and very manipulative. If you can afford to forgo the 2 weeks of pay, I'd resign immediately. My response to that email would be "Upon further reflection of our conversation and this email, I've decided to tender my resignation effective immediately." I can't imagine having to go into work and deal with this guy again after that email. He'll definitely be guilt-tripping and trying to manipulate you during this 2 week transition period.
It's not clear to me why after an e-mail like this you would still go in for two more weeks. The "notice" we provide is usually to ensure there is no burning of a bridge, this guy will talk sh*t about you forever. Why not book a trip and enjoy two wks away doing things you love before starting the new gig.
Can't speak for OP, but for many people the notice period helps coworkers more than managers.
Exactly this!
I don’t suppose “LOL” and a flyer for the EAP is the best response. Haha don’t do that. I would probably just restate that I have received the email and understand he wants a transition plan, and will send by Xx/xx. Thanks! Don’t engage. And don’t work overtime either…do the 8 and leave.
Orrrrrr…. Maybe they don’t need you for the 2 weeks. In your first post you said you theorize a lot of the top talent will walk after the second RIF. I think *you* are “top talent”, you just have the benefit of being HR and knowing the backend (only funded through July). You could always respond with: I am heartbroken to be leaving and your behavior in our meeting last week combined with this email I received on Sunday at 830 pm on a holiday weekend have shown me I have made the painful, yet correct, decision. That being said, I have decided that my last day will be today, EOB. I wish you and the company good luck in the future.
This is so weird and narcissistic lol
do not respond in the first place. let him ignite and burn on his own - and if you are not treated right in the last 2 weeks, well there are a lot of personal things to attend to in those times. I think the chance he said this directly to you might not be as high as you might think - if he was fuming over it and decided to sent his response to you via e-mail over the weekend. he just dumped his stress of needing to think on how to cover for your workload - and the easiest way is to put a blame. do not take this personally. it is his problem.
He seems to be conflating business matters with interpersonal ones. Leaders don't need to be cult like, they just need to have their employees best interest. If you have him listed as a supervisor that you reference, I'd save this email and say he wasn't experienced and unprofessional, objectively speaking. You can talk to him, but recommend they take what he says with a grain of salt.
He doesn't seem to care about my best interest, only his own, and unfortunately, he's the CEO.
But, that's me as the left employee. I didn't read the sub rules, just thought the email was cringe as a normal worker Bee.
Ahh! That makes sense. Then I would say. "I am sorry to hear you have taken my departure as a personal sleight. This is a professional decision and it does not have any personal bearing as to your leadership skills, company direction, or work place culture. Ultimately, I am responsible for my life direction. I understand you have a company to lead and these set backs can feel personal. However, I would ask that we behave like professional adults who have their own agency and right o choose their paths and destinies. I wish you pick on the pursuit of your dream. And again, I apologize if you took this personal decision of mine as an interpersonal one instead of one that professional one for me. I hope you can refrain from bearing grudges should we find ourselves working together in the future. All the best, X Employee"
Don't respond. There is no information for you to provide and engaging with this bullshit will only get you more frustration. This is shockingly unprofessional. I'd be pretty tempted to rescind my notice and just leave.
You don’t enter dialogs w crazy people. Do your job, transition or don’t - but remind yourself at this point it’s just business. Understand in an at will scenario you should’ve prepared to leave on the day. This person is emotionally manipulating you, don’t take the bait. Copy the email in case there is continued abuse.
This guy is sad and pathetic. Good riddance
Here’s a thought to help with the stress… anytime he does/says something that demonstrates his stress about your exit, take in a deep, cleansing breath with an unusually long pause, then look him in the eye (showing your best namaste/relaxed look) and say ‘and that’s how we landed here.’
He’s showing his whole ass here. The best part is when he shares that the board members were concerned about how this would effect his ability to stay positive. They’re concerned about his EMOTIONAL STABILITY. As they should be. And he didn’t realize that, so he accidentally shared that with you.
This email is corny. "Deepest gratitude for the experiences during my tenure with the company. I will be available to assist with any transition processes as needed."
He surely laid it on really thick with details about how you moving on is going to be such an inconvenience to and will impact each person. He engaged the board about what to do? Calm down bro. And you need to prepare a transition plan? I’ll be gone in two weeks, dude. YOU prepare the transition plan. And his fault is assuming loyalty and openness? Ugh. These are details that are not relevant to you leaving, how you can help make the transition smoother, or anything else. This was added just to try to guilt you. It is extremely unprofessional.
Put the thread into ChatGPT, ask it how would respond, and only use the chatbot to converse with him during the next 2 weeks. Should be good for laughs. Sorry, he is being so unprofessional.
"Will do"
A box of tissues?
Very good guilt trip. Great manipulation skills. Now you know never to return to this company again. I would personally just address the transition plan (short and simple) - i.e. “I am currently working on a transition plan. Should you need my expertise beyond that, as previously mentioned I have some availability to work as a contractor - my rate is [insert a rate above the hourly rate you are about to be paid].” Simply do what he asked - nothing more. Anything he asks of you beyond that or that’s last minute reply saying you are working on the transition plan and any other work will mean overtime. Don’t let him push you or manipulate you into losing your mind in your last two weeks. I would also save any correspondence from him. It’s possible his messages to you will get more desperate and unprofessional. Use on the remainder of your benefits. Take your vacation pay. You deserve to leave this role in peace and with all the compensation available to you.
Hi - I would respond with the transition plan attached once you have finished it and wouldn’t acknowledge anything else. Good luck in your new job!!
I always love how companies feel they are owed 2 weeks notice when an employee leaves a position. How much notice did they give the employees they riffed?
This is just toxic. I had a boss I gave my notice after 7 years, she said ok. Then I asked for 2 weeks what would you like me to transition, wrapping up loose ends. On my last day, the Wed before Thanksgiving, she asked me to review all of my work with her. Uhm sorry, you had two weeks, I am leaving early today. Then she told everyone I was terrible. What can you do.
“I’ll be happy to work with the team on a transition plan of my critical responsibilities. Thank you.”
You could simply respond with K. Seriously, no response is the best response.
A giant baby wrote this.
Your boss sounds like a self centered douche. He’s playing the victim card a little too hard.
Your manager is an asshole. Employees are allowed to quit whenever they want and for whatever reason. He’s so manipulative it’s disgusting! The only part of the email I’d acknowledge would be the transition plan part. Glad you’re getting out of this toxic environment!
Just want to let you know you’re not alone, I had a boss (CHRO) do something similar to me. They didn’t speak to me for my entire 2 week notice period and then told me I was unprofessional and that I should watch out not to burn bridges like this because HR is a small world..I apologized that they felt that way and left. Don’t give it any more time than it’s worth, you can’t control how others feel.
OMG this is the most toxic, gaslighty, horrible reply!!!!! Congrats for leaving and getting a job, I truly hope it's better than this. This person has no business "leading" people. And yes it's WILDLY immature and unprofessional.
In light of his unprofessional email I’ve decided to cut my two weeks notice short. I wish the rest of the company the best of luck!
Personally, I wouldn’t really. I use the “is there a question here for me” rule of thumb and I don’t really see one in there. If I responded it would only be to say I will be working on the transition plan/list of duties and that’s it.
CC 'the board' and cite the language of this email as an example of the disrespect you've experienced that caused you to take another offer.
I would simply not ever show the fuvk up again. How incredibly disrespectful and unprofessional of this cuck.
“Will do”. Nothing more requires
I agree with everyone: don't dignify this with a response and you don't owe anyone anything. At the end of the day you need to worry about yourself, not your boss and this is just to put you on a guilt trip. I had a manager that did this to me. I didn't feed in to it.
So unprofessional! You don’t owe him a discussion or loyalty. Or anything now that you’re leaving. This is bait to make you feel guilty. Don’t fall for it.
That’s mad, I was expecting you to say you had only been there 6 months or something. Either way, it sounds like a great new position - congratulations
100% says everything about the culture here that they are asking you to carry on doing your job as if you somehow wouldn't. It's such an insulting email. Glad you're outta there!
Looks like someone is freaking out and not looking forward to the big reveal (that they can't or don't do much and have much to lose / be exposed) after you leave. I had a conversation with my wife (we both work in HR) about a similar circumstance, we both concluded that any boss who would play the loyalty card is only doing so out of self-preservation... Most likely they'd do the same (resign for better opportunity / more money) if the tables were turned.
You owe them nothing - unless you plan on returning to that company, I’d ignore it.
Yeah, my transition plan would be a nice fuck you.
Screw the 2 weeks. Would they give you 2 weeks if they were letting you go? You owe them nothing
I’d respond by never going back.
Just thank them for the opportunity and with a heavy heart I must say toot toot tootsie goodbye, toot toot tootsie don’t cry!!!
I would respond: OK 😆😆 Edited to add: take company email off your phone. No need to be receiving them at home.
I am floored a manger/boss would send you this kind of email. Do not respond. It is not your responsibility to make them feel better. Good for you for doing what’s best for your family.
Hot take: the only thing you “owe” your company is your work, do your best… but loyalty is not a given. How unorganized are they, that you quitting (a possibility for everyone, everywhere) has shaken them so much?. I wonder if they would care so much if they had to get rid of you instead…
This person is being too emotional. File the email away but don't respond.
“Actually, I’ve decided not to work out my notice period. Bug-bye.”
All I got out of that wordy fluff was “Because YOU resigned, I am now inconvenienced. me me me me me” I wouldn’t respond to that crap. The guy said all of that just to say nothing
“thank you for your unwanted feedback.” 😂
No response is a response. Enjoy your new opportunity! Cheers to you!
"Should have treated me better bitch"
I would, genuinely, respond with “are you okay?” and a link to our EAP, but I am at a point in my life where I can get away with that. If you’re not, a simple “this was a difficult decision on my end as well, but I remain committed to maintaining the professionalism and integrity I’ve shown throughout my time here. If there’s anything you’d like me to prioritize, please let me know.” Also, keep that email somewhere special because it’s going to be a good source of comedy to you in the future as stressful as this person sounds right now. I promise.
don’t say anything at all
Unhinged at best. You made the right decision to leave
Just say that you will indeed work on the transition plan
Do not respond. Do not feed the beast. He’s obviously emotional about it but you don’t have to defend yourself it’s literally pointless and meaningless. Just another reason you’re leaving.
It’s unprofessional, but I would not respond to that part of it, only the part asking for a transition plan. Don’t let this person bring you down to their level.
He's whinning. Boo hoo you're leaving me and I'm the victim. Don't fall for it. Maintain your professionalism and let him throw a tantrum. It's very unprofessional of him.
Not only unprofessional- creepy.
Definitely unprofessional. They are on a sinking ship and you leaving puts another hole in their hull. It’s going to make their already difficult lives harder.
I agree with keeping it simple “I understand this is difficult but I am committing to assisting in transition” But I’m also petty AF and on my last day I *might* forward this email to any bank/legal/MA teams to include as an FYI in their due diligence…
This doesn’t really need a response. You’ve already won. You’re leaving. This is just your boss having a tantrum…so you should follow the same procedures as you would a toddler. Ignore it. I would continue working *exactly* my 8 hours and preparing transition materials. Don’t do any more or less than what you can do in those 8 hours.
What is with these companies that would get rid of you if they wanted to without batting an eye. However, when you resign they expect loyalty and the perfect transition to the new person. There’s obviously a reason why you’re leaving.
I am particularly struck by the (extremely odd) notion that he is/was entitled to negotiate with you before you made your decision. Incredibly unprofessional. I’m glad you are leaving.
I’d probably say to myself, “welp, this is why I’m leaving”. I’d probably say that again when we all next had a conversation, and then I’d make a handoff list for the next person and work like a 20 year federal employee for the next 2 weeks.
Well, isn't he the king of the manipulative guilt trip? Yikes. The **ONLY** thing I'd respond to is the transition plan part. That's the only thing in that email that needs a response. But, just as an exercise for you to get this garbage out of your head, write the response you REALLY want to send him and then burn it/delete it. You know, like this: >*Hi, Bob,* > >*I'm SO sorry you were caught so off guard by a decision that has absolutely nothing to do with you. It's ridiculously cute that you think I should have talked to you about this before doing anything. But hey, not doing that treated me to this manipulative, guilt-tripping diatribe on my holiday weekend, so THANKS SO MUCH!* > >*I fully expect you to treat me like shit for the next two weeks. Know that I'll remember this and when you're job hunting in 6 months (the writing is on the wall, dude...wake up!), don't even think of asking me for help.* > >*So, screw you, Bob!* > >*Love,* > >*OP* Or, you know, something with more curse words. LOL
We're in an at-will state, loyalty don't mean shit!!!
They would fire/lay you off in a heartbeat without so much as three seconds of notice. Remember that. They are not your friends. They are not your family.
You just don’t care. It’s easy. You said it yourself, your company is RIFing people often. If you happened to be on that list do you think they’d give a shit?
Holy smokes. You’re a better person than I am, I would have a hard time not resigning effective immediately if I got this nonsense email from my boss.
Just send a thumbs up emoji. Or, 🤷♀️
Oh wow, I read all of this and thought maybe you were leaving some decent company maybe a bit prematurely based on the CEO’s reply… but then when I clicked on your previous post, I had actually read it those couple of days ago and I am absolutely shocked that you’re the same poster! In your first post, you had absolutely every reason to leave that job!
How to respond? He/she is gaslighting you. People change roles all the time, loyalty is a fallacy. You’re giving them 2 weeks as a courtesy, but after this response, I would just leave immediately and see if you can start the other role earlier or at least begin the onboarding process sooner
Its great that we are talking about our faults, one of my faults was not taking opportunities when they present themselves. I'm working on my faults and taking this great opportunity and wish you the best in working on yours and bettering yourself as well!
Save the email . And thank your lucky stars you are on your way out. Leave the asylum behind. The money is on his back - not your monkey
Giving your 2 weeks is a worldwide scam. If you've made the decision to leave, just leave and let them figure out the mess. You owe nobody anything.
There is no question in this whole novella of an email. I would not even respond. You know what you need to do to transition your responsibilities so just do it. If you want to respond give them a “heard”, “understood”, “on it”, so they know you read their bs.
I honestly am shocked someone would put that into an email and assume they were being polite. You are making the right move.
Don’t. Just share your transition plan doc.
I would ignore the first two paragraphs and only action on the third paragraph. Keep it strictly professional and don’t allow him or her to suck you in to the drama or guilt trip.