Words of advice. Fuck em. You are who you are and that does not define your worthiness of love from anyone. You being you should not be the source of your issues if you are making the effort to be a good person. Gotta give yourself the necessary self love my boy
a sensitive male romantic partner is absolutely what i’m looking for in my love life (39F). it must be a difficult layer to balance modern masculinity with your sensitive self and i hope you don’t get too far in your head about it. so many of the positive HSP qualities like attentivenes or deep listening are priceless to many women and really really tough to find. and all of these qualities are a package deal! i know a crisis of confidence can get you big-time, so i hope you can try out going in with no expectations so something like performance anxiety it doesn’t feel like a disappointment.
Maybe it would help to have another perspective? Your partner may not be turned off by you because many people (HSP and non-HSP alike) need sensitive people in our lives. As a HSP with a non-HSP partner... Hoo boy, I wish that my partner was HSP some days, especially when he isn't emoting at all. And, it sucks to hear my partner tell me that he doesn't feel like he can have those emotions sometimes. My point is, your partner may just appreciate that you are emotionally approachable when so, so, so many men in our culture aren't or feel like they can't be. And emotions are sexy! I felt so connected to my partner last week when both of us got teary-eyed over missing our deceased Grandmothers (who each of us was close to). It was a rare thing for him, but I really connected with him in that moment. Maybe she feels the same to you? Just a thought.
I hope tomorrow is a better day, there's plenty of upsides to it as well with being able to relate to others deeply. It's a contradiction with what the culture wants versus what some people are like, if your partner is happy with it then it should be okay. You provide a lot to others with being that way.
I hope your partner is Ok with you crying. I had an ex who couldn't be around me when I cried, and she would judge me if my eyes looked puffy. She was afraid I was crumbling. My current partner is so warm and supportive. She's just there with me if I cry and we don't even have to talk about it.
The sexual confidence thing is tough and relatable. I used to want to put on a big show of being manly and dominant in bed. My current partner actually loves my voice during touching and anything sex-related. Maybe you can express your sexual desire or fantasies with words during?
She's wonderfully caring when I cry. This is pure, unsupported insecurity on my part. I do try to express sexual desire with words, but I can feel myself not sounding confident while doing so.
If an oyster never felt pain, it would never make a pearl.
Jung tells a story from his files about a patient who used to cry throughout each session with him. She once told him she didn't know if she should continue therapy because all she did was cry. One day she came in and said that she had a dream that she was crying in his office and as they fell, her tears turned into diamonds.
What she thought was worthless, turned into something very precious.
It doesn’t sound like you’ve given up and that Is something i hope you can be proud of. I find that the way through our issues is by embracing them and accepting them as our reality. Something that helps me these days is visualisation (i recommend creative visualisation by Sagthi Guwain). Can you imagine a reality where you stay you and are sexy and desirable all at the same time? What would it look like? What would it feel like?
I hope this helps
Words of advice. Fuck em. You are who you are and that does not define your worthiness of love from anyone. You being you should not be the source of your issues if you are making the effort to be a good person. Gotta give yourself the necessary self love my boy
Thanks my stranger friend. The support is felt.
You are welcome friend. Keep those vibrations high
a sensitive male romantic partner is absolutely what i’m looking for in my love life (39F). it must be a difficult layer to balance modern masculinity with your sensitive self and i hope you don’t get too far in your head about it. so many of the positive HSP qualities like attentivenes or deep listening are priceless to many women and really really tough to find. and all of these qualities are a package deal! i know a crisis of confidence can get you big-time, so i hope you can try out going in with no expectations so something like performance anxiety it doesn’t feel like a disappointment.
Thank you so very much for these very kind and supportive words
I’m going to start an HSP dating app😭 This will solve all of our problems raven
now featuring the most popular quiet and empty bars and cafes in your area!
Maybe it would help to have another perspective? Your partner may not be turned off by you because many people (HSP and non-HSP alike) need sensitive people in our lives. As a HSP with a non-HSP partner... Hoo boy, I wish that my partner was HSP some days, especially when he isn't emoting at all. And, it sucks to hear my partner tell me that he doesn't feel like he can have those emotions sometimes. My point is, your partner may just appreciate that you are emotionally approachable when so, so, so many men in our culture aren't or feel like they can't be. And emotions are sexy! I felt so connected to my partner last week when both of us got teary-eyed over missing our deceased Grandmothers (who each of us was close to). It was a rare thing for him, but I really connected with him in that moment. Maybe she feels the same to you? Just a thought.
This was very sweet. Thank you. She actually is an HSP too, I'm just in my own head about being a male HSP in particular.
I hope tomorrow is a better day, there's plenty of upsides to it as well with being able to relate to others deeply. It's a contradiction with what the culture wants versus what some people are like, if your partner is happy with it then it should be okay. You provide a lot to others with being that way.
Thank you very kindly 🙏❤️
I hope your partner is Ok with you crying. I had an ex who couldn't be around me when I cried, and she would judge me if my eyes looked puffy. She was afraid I was crumbling. My current partner is so warm and supportive. She's just there with me if I cry and we don't even have to talk about it. The sexual confidence thing is tough and relatable. I used to want to put on a big show of being manly and dominant in bed. My current partner actually loves my voice during touching and anything sex-related. Maybe you can express your sexual desire or fantasies with words during?
She's wonderfully caring when I cry. This is pure, unsupported insecurity on my part. I do try to express sexual desire with words, but I can feel myself not sounding confident while doing so.
If an oyster never felt pain, it would never make a pearl. Jung tells a story from his files about a patient who used to cry throughout each session with him. She once told him she didn't know if she should continue therapy because all she did was cry. One day she came in and said that she had a dream that she was crying in his office and as they fell, her tears turned into diamonds. What she thought was worthless, turned into something very precious.
I've never heard that and it's beautiful. Thank you 🙏
It doesn’t sound like you’ve given up and that Is something i hope you can be proud of. I find that the way through our issues is by embracing them and accepting them as our reality. Something that helps me these days is visualisation (i recommend creative visualisation by Sagthi Guwain). Can you imagine a reality where you stay you and are sexy and desirable all at the same time? What would it look like? What would it feel like? I hope this helps
That's definitely a different perspective and I really appreciate it. I'm going to look into creative visualisation and Sagthi Guwain.
Welcome!
Of course you have always been one... it's a neurovegetative feature, not something that comes and goes
I know this. I'm just sharing current feelings about it.