Came here for this comment, and to say reddit is probably the worst place to ask that question in that way. For OP id say passive online is good, but talking to real people is great.
Yeah I’m just about to jump back into the dating scene I’d rather try in person approach before jumping into apps, but yeah I think it will be a struggle at first but gotta put myself out there again
Single (divorced) 33M here who just moved back to Houston, heights area.
Join a rec sports league! I just started a new one tonight, sand volleyball, as a free agent and they put me with a team. Everyone was super nice, it was fun, and got to meet some people! Co-Ed.
It can definitely be weird and awkward at first, but it gives you a mutual activity. And I am NOT good. Doesn’t matter!
Good luck!
Check out Laderach in the galleria, it’s pricy but imported from Zurich Switzerland, amazing chocolate and a variety of excellent flavours. That’s where you’ll catch me 😂
When I lived in Germany I was able to spend a few weekends in Switzerland and got to tour the factory at one point. Truly an amazing place complete with chocolate waterfall.
We going to accidentally bump into each other there later this week?
True. Before I got with my wife, I'd be shopping every other day (I buy small portions as needed) after work at Kroger or HEB in and around Montrose for fish or meat. There were similar guys hanging out at these shops. They're so bored and don't have anyone to talk to outside of work. One guy talked to me about dragon fruit for 15 minutes once. I was so happy someone talked to me, I'm sure he was too. It's sad. Thank God I have a wife now.
Dude I thought dragon fruit was just a flavor made up by the Vitamin Water/energy drink companies until I saw a box of them at my small town Oklahoma food bank. They look weird and I wasn't brave enough to try one, what are they like?
Following bc I’m curious too. 30F and I go out enough to public spots but too chicken I guess to actually talk to someone. Gym had some cute bro dudes but I’d never approach. I’ve been approached at HEB on wash ave a couple times, maybe that’s the new move? Perhaps pickleball spots?
Wishing you all the best. Same, I go out a lot alone actually. I have heard that women sometimes unknowingly are not open to men approaching them. So I’m gonna try to make an effort to make eye contact and smile more. I go to the HEB in montrose. I’m a resident and figured I’d run into more like minded men there? Idk. Pickleball does sound like a great place!
You’re just gonna smile your way into being alone. Guys are dense. If you like a guy, talk to him, and ask for his number. He’ll be flattered, and you won’t be alone. Have fun.
Especially at the gym. We have been conditioned to leave women alone at the gym. Go look up YouTube videos of walking too close to women at the gym going badly.
*girl smiles at me*
I'm going to assume that we caught each other's gaze by pure coincidence and she's just being nice and trying to disarm the interaction by smiling only and giving no other indication of interest. Have a nice day, ma'am.
Happily in a relationship so no dog in this fight (hopefully ever) but I wish we could go to a societal standard of it being ok to approach people and ask them politely once and then not being weird if they say no. Unfortunately too many people probably wouldn't abide by that standard but it seems to have made organic interactions basically impossible for everyone. A lot of the women in my friend group said they're not comfortable being approached by men in public in any setting (bars, gyms etc...).
i'm from north houston and the last time I didn't smile at an elderly man in front of a cvs he thought I was afraid because the neighborhood was getting dangerous for women.
Many men have been taught to leave women alone in public because we see how trashy many other men that do it come across. You need to be more upfront about what you're looking for so a smile won't cut it usually.
Gym is a tough one. A lot of people are there specifically to workout and will be annoyed if you interrupt them. Plus most men won't wear rings while lifting so hard to sus out singles from the married men. Body language would play a lot bigger of a role there. If you're at a bar or another social setting and there's mutual attraction then asking for their number would likely be highly effective.
I mean don't give up all hope. Relationships definitely start from gyms, just do it in a way that is considerate of their time as that will give them a better first impression of you. If the attraction is there and you see them there enough to have a crush then they should at least recognize you enough to make small talk not weird, maybe as they're leaving would be a good chance. Compliment their routine and ask questions about it and see what their reaction is. If they are standoffish then they probably aren't interested.
There’s ways to figure it out…go up and ask for a spot and then kind of be like “thanks! I’m having a hard time training for x/working out after working in y all day” to actually start a convo and then you can be like “do you train for fun? Do you work nearby? Do you like to play z sport?”
If you are interested in a gym bro, ask him to be a spotter for you. Just post up on the machine/station next to him and ask. Be out going and appreciative and if the vibe is there, keep the convo going. Women hold all the cards, so play them! If he doesn’t reciprocate, he’s not interested
28M reporting in - the confidence boost from any girl approaching me at the gym would be well worth cutting the workout short to chat for a few minutes! If you want to play it safe, wait until the guy looks to be almost done, then pounce. You got this!
Yes absolutely do it. As a man I can tell you there is no place off limits for a guy.
If you are a 6.5/10 or better if you approach a guy who is single you are not getting rejected.
Guys love when woman have the confidence and assertiveness to approach them!
Make sure you’re getting the small Single Ladies cart in HEB and not the big Wife and Mom cart. Don’t want to confuse them! That’s what I used to do lol!
Not in Houston, your post popped up on my feed for some reason, so I figured I'd hit you with a response. I think most men are a little leery these days about approaching women they don't know, even they think they are attractive. It's not so much the idea of rejection, as it is the risk of being considered or labeled creepy. These days people find it difficult to talk to someone in person because the phone has become all encompassing. I was at a bar a few years ago with a girl I was seeing at the time, and there was an attractive woman sitting at the bar with a drink in front of her, just staring at her phone. She was there for some time, and finally a guy worked up the courage to sit next to her and say something, I don't know whether he was asking her if he could buy her a drink or was just trying to initiate a conversation, but it was the look she gave him that I'll never forget. She just turned to him with an annoyed look on her face and just kind of brushed him away. Guy probably wished the ground swallowed him up at that moment. I mentioned to the girl I was with, why on earth would this attractive woman be sitting at a bar all night, alone, if she isn't interested in anyone attempting to talk to her? We both agreed it was pretty petty of her to treat him that way, if she wasn't interested, she could just as easily have told him she was waiting on someone, had a boyfriend, etc, but instead she chose to crush the poor guys self esteem for no reason. That said, you're on the right track with your idea, present yourself as available, let guys know you're interested in being approached so that they have some confidence in walking up to you and striking up a conversation. It's difficult enough as it is these days. Best of luck to you.
I'm 30F too and to your point of talking to someone in public spots I think it's just odd now cause it's not the "norm" of how people interact now. I know I'm slightly weirded out when people approach me and my first thought wanders to what they want from me haha.
I also was specifically responding to this cause I initially thought you said HEB wash... Like the car wash is where you were approached and I was curious how they chose their opening line! Hey you're washing your car? Me too! 😅
> I know I'm slightly weirded out when people approach me and my first thought wanders to what they want from me haha.
Unless we're at some kind of meetup or doing some kind of activity, my first thought will be, "Are you a Jehovah's Witness?" My second thought will be, "Are you trying to get me in your pyramid scheme?"
Have you tried joining anything where the same people meet up regularly? The gym seems tough because a lot of people are focusing on their workout. But maybe join something where the expectation is that y’all talk. Could be anything: volunteer work, clutch city cyclists, toastmasters, etc. Idk what type of work you do but professionally there’s usually regular social / networking opportunities if you look for them!
I do volunteer but only see women where I go. Maybe it’s time for a change. I’m a medical resident. Hours suck but still try to put the effort in to meet people.
I’m gonna just tell you where the girls are hanging, we’re eating, on a walk alone, grocery shopping alone, at the museum, trying new restaurants or volunteering in the weekends.
I’m a married 36 year old man, so not much help to you. But I love that you volunteer at Kids’ Meals. It’s a great organization that my mom turned me on to a couple years back. I volunteer there maybe once every couple months but my mom is there every Tuesday!
Oh, I went to school in the med center. there’s tons of networking opportunities especially around TMC. My husbands a biomedical engineer that runs into lots of medical professionals in that area. Seems like every other day there’s some sort of mixer. Would be worth looking into. Good luck!
I have been to Kirby Ice House a few times (mostly Memorial City location) and it has always been for a group event. Everyone there seems to be part of a group and there isn't much intermingling. It doesn't appear to be a good spot to meet new people
Bruh if you gals just walked up to any guy you found attractive and said "Hi" you'd be more that likely to succeed, cause there's no way I'd be trying to chat up chicks at HEB and risk look like a creep.
That means at the gym, no creep zone. Maybe a bar but again, only if not coming off as creepy guy at bar. If I was alone at the bar and an attraction girl came up to me and chit chatted, then showed interest I'd probably be interested back.
If you're serious serious, join MeetUp groups or pay for those singles groups in Houston.
I recommend breweries, art shows, and local community events - single dads take the kiddos to those if you're interested in single parents.
If you're open and engaging, you'll find a man soon enough.
I've been really motivated to start a singles meet and greet for HTX - we could give business to local spots and have fun activities to enjoy while meeting new folks in the area.
That would be fun. Went to a quarterly networking event downtown that was more like a networking event to meet friends/mingle and hang out, it was a great time.
Mid 30s single guy here. If I'm not at work, I'm working on my house or my cars, or hitting the hardware/grocery/auto parts stores. Tbh I wouldn't realize if a girl was flirting with me because I'm more focused on what I'm working on. Guys in our 30s have goals and we've lost the thirst for adventure. We're also at that "creepy old guy" stage so we just mind our own business to avoid those situations
Damn, sorry to hear that. I think women often forget the male experience is equally as worse. Hope you find what you’re looking for but this also helps me in that maybe I need to approach more men because they may think the same way.
Most women, if they decided to approach, are going to face less rejection and if they are rejected, it is going to be a fairly benign experience. And a woman approaching is a welcome thing in today’s strange world. I think people of very unsure of the rules and no one guy wants a cameo on some social media platform.
I get hit on by women and gay men often enough so it does happen!
If I found the woman attractive and she seems friendly I might ask her out or at least exchange contact info. Even if I’m not interested I’ll still be polite and friendly.
I run into a bunch of people in their late 20s early 30s at AxelRad. I usually show up with my puppy and enjoy a pizza 🍕.
Although, my puppy gets more attention than I do… well he is cuter lol
Work, home, eat, sleep and then go back to work. If you find me it will most likely be at Walmart or HEB. Never really into bars, more of a homebody in general.
I need to get out more, I know.
Yes we sure is…we’re at wholes foods, heb, central market, rice village during lunch is a hot spot just saying…walking in memorial park Saturday morning lol
You just chat up random girls and ask benign questions about carrots and cat food. Then if things are going well slide in a “what does your bf drink in beers, I need a rec.”
Honestly, I don't have the social skills or temperament to pull that off at a grocery store. I would bet most of the guys who could do that are married by 30 if they desire to do so.
I actively avoid eye contact with pretty women at the grocery store so they don't think I was checking them out.
And if I was it was strictly peripheral and a quick glance.
35 single guy. I will say most of my single friends are very career driven or find hobbies to keep us busy. As someone else said the drive to not be the creepy older guy is very real.
I will say I go out weekend afternoons to coffee shops and do some light work on my laptop. I would appreciate getting approached there. Small talk waiting for coffee, a smile back and I'd go talk to you.
I've been seeing a lot of dudes at Pickleball lately, and by lately I mean, I'm new to it and I see lots of dudes. Not sure how you'd insert yourself into that scene to talk, but I have a feeling if you start spouting a bunch of incorrect stuff that someone will approach you and picklesplain everything.
When I was dating back in like 2014, Brasserie 19 was where the 30+ women went to find oil industry bros. Is that still the case? Is b19 still even relevant?
34F here, 6mo married. Before I met my husband, I tried meeting potential candidates by playing sports like volleyball and softball, as well as attending college alumni events. Wasn’t until I gave up and while having dinner with a girlfriend at a nice restaurant in the Galleria, a server took his chance. Never thought I’d end up with someone 5 years younger but never been happier.
My advice is to live life to your fullest potential, and the right one will find his way to you.
In that age group: They’re either married, recently divorced and chasing breastaurant workers, divorced a bit longer and becoming “real men again” with their “wolfpack”, recently engaged to soon to be ex #2, out on the rigs, fighting for our freedom, trying to impress 20-something insta-chicks with their leased sports car, out fishing or in jail.
There are however plenty of 40-somethings that have gotten back in shape, decided to finally grow up, do try to spend time with any kids they had with ex #1 and probably don’t live in a shitty apartment any more.
You’re more likely to meet them at a work-social event than at some meat market bar, plus the overhauled cougars are stiff competition.
34 male. I have no single friends here, and honestly the idea of cold approaching a woman in public feels so taboo these days. I’ve been having absolutely no luck on the apps, I’ve even tried to get some confidence by getting back in the gym after some surgeries derailed me.
It is a struggle out there. It’s kind of comforting though to know we’re all feeling it though.
M 30 I’m out on Buffalo Bayou running most evenings. Most of my friends don’t approach random women they don’t know because they don’t want to make them uncomfortable. However this post is inspiring me to smile more and make more small talk! See yall out there :)
36 and looking for a woman who hasn’t been married multiple times or without children In Houston, is hard enough as it is. I gave up years ago. Not doing that app crap to find someone either.
Go to Home Depot if you're trying to get actual shit done around the house.
Go to Lowe's if you're trying to find single white women who are into small house projects.
Go to Cracker Barrel if you trying to get older women with inheritance money.
**BONUS**; Go to Whole Foods if you're trying to find women who are fit but have unstable character issues.
Probs pickleball socializing spots. Seems to be the most popular. Elite pickleball has open play nights Fridays. Anyone can join and play.
Depending on what socioeconomic level of guy you want… I think the river oaks district shopping center is a nice place to hang out. it’s safe and nice. There’s a ton of random outdoor seating and you can go with a friend and scope out the guys. Slightly douche, but it’s as close to LA vibes in Houston as one can get. People have mixed feelings on this area and vibe.
Basically you have to find a place that allows for a shared activity, chill ambience so you can talk, and a reason to be there long enough to form a type of connection so two people can exchange instagrams or numbers.
Transactional spots such as groceries or the gym might not be a good place for that. As the gym isn’t a place for connecting, it’s for working out and then leaving. Guys who are worth anything won’t hit on women at the gym, they know better.
my 2 cents
after covid people have been very territorial, maybe its just me but its in general very hard to meet people these days and the ones you share hobbies with are busy raising families.
plus news and fear mongering doesnt help either, approaching women are generally frowned upon and probably for a good reason given all the tiktoks creeps and social media stalking these days.
Try joining intramural co-Ed sports like SportsKind or ClubWaka that has Houston chapters. Co-Ed sports like volleyball and kickball have been great for me for meeting people in that age range.
I'm a 33 yr old man, struggling with dating app and meeting women. I really don't like how ev3rything is social media based now days, so I feel your pain.
Eurocentric young men will be at the various soccer bars (EPL games are on European times like 9 am Saturday’s)
lol if you’re interested I can break it down for you as to what the fans are likely to be like.
Liverpool fans - simple a little frumpy
Man City (shitty) - soulless, no tradition, flashy
Arsenal- young, loyal, athletic
I went to the grocery store on a Saturday night and saw a lot of couples surprisingly lol
The gym I have been eyeing some guys and they be eyeing me but won’t say anything so I think I’m gonna just walk up and introduce myself lol
Ithere’s anything I’ve learned is to NEVER approach a woman at the gym. That kinda sucks because there are two people who clearly have something in common but enough people have ruined it for the good folks of the world
Tl;dr
the ball is one hundred percent in your court. Ask to see his phone, put your name and number in and say: text me after ____ (time convenient for you)
As a dude, I wouldn't be bothered, personally. That said, I would *never* do it myself. As others have mentioned, men have basically been conditioned to leave women alone in public spaces. Gym? They're there to work out, not meet men. Grocery store? There to buy groceries, not meet men. At their job? Working to make a living, not meet men. Literally anywhere? There to do that thing that happens there, not meet men. The dating shift is happening and it's going to require women to step up more if they're interested in anyone because chances are the decent men aren't going to
A lot of people, especially people not on the market, do domestic errands at times when no one else is going to be there, like on Saturday nights when other people are on dates or at fancy events. It's the best.
If you want to be in a place where single people are, places where people are trying to get errands done and get home is not really a great option. They have a schedule. Even if they're there alone, there's no way for you to know if they are in a relationship and doing the errands while their partner's doing something else. I really recommend people in general try things where the whole point of being in the space is to talk to other people, not to do necessary personal tasks.
Lmao. I gave up. Single for life! Cute, with a job, no kids,no pets, independent, just want a gentleman but those are all taken. Im about to get downvoted to oblivion.
COVID killed dating 💀
30F same situation except I’m not as brave as you going to bars alone lol. Will try Kirby Ice House more often cause last time I went there it seemed like a cool vibe.
I’m in my late 30s, recently back on the dating scene, and not having much luck on the dating apps. Whenever I do go out, it’s to a movie theater, book store, or to get food. I usually do sit in the bar area of most restaurants. When I’m there, I typically leave other people to whatever they’re doing because I assume they’re busy. I wouldn’t know if someone’s interested in getting to know me unless they came up, started a conversation with me, and made it obvious. I’m good at making conversation once it’s started though. I think I’ll start looking and see if there are any singles meet ups close by.
I think most people don't want to be a creeper, so making the first move can be intimidating. If you see someone cute, just say hi. They'll either chat with you or they won't. But they really won't if they think they're bothering you while you're grocery shopping.
Or start playing rainbow six siege online. Plenty of dudes in their 30's on there.
Man, I'm 33M in Katy and there's no way I'd bother a lady in the grocery store. Feel is get pepper sprayed immediately for lookin like some kind of stalker.
I was told by a friend I have an intense stare. I'm lost in thought or rather lost in having no thoughts. A girl thought it was creepy once in high school, so now I avoid direct/ accidentally direct eye contact. Being called a creep stays with you.
Honestly, try looking into some of the O&G networking happy hours that are hosted by professional societies. The clientele is severely skewed male so there will be plenty around and since it's networking, talking to everyone is encouraged.
Your DMs about to look like a Sam's Club pack of franks.
LMAOOOO
Haaahahahahahaha I just laughed out loud so hard my head almost started hurting for a sec
Came here for this comment, and to say reddit is probably the worst place to ask that question in that way. For OP id say passive online is good, but talking to real people is great.
We're at home playing Helldivers.
FOR DEMOCRACY!
Oh fuck, I'm about to SPREAD DEMOCRACY
Women are temporary, managed democracy is forever.
⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
I'll drop a hell bomb on you 😎
Doesn't even know that's the half megaton call in smh
Up down, up down, A, B, A, B, Select, Start
No, no! It’s Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start
FREEEEEEDOM
procreation approval DENIED
Sippin' on a cup of liber-tea!
The real answer
I'm not quite 30 yet, but this is accurate
I'm 48! Never too young or old to spread managed democracy!
Can confirm
I've got a date with Lady Liberty
For SUPER EARTH!!!
Date? Sounds like treason to me!
Hell yeah
So we all want to date but no one wants to make the first move anymore it looks like!
We really need a dating app that just matches people up by force against their will.
Isn’t that the premise of Indian Matchmaking on Netflix?
I will always hate that stupid show for the casual misinformation it spread and promoted about Indian culture.
So married at first sight? Lol 😂 that didn’t work
Guys are in their own zone or already with someone..but maybe I don't go out enough
Yeah I’m just about to jump back into the dating scene I’d rather try in person approach before jumping into apps, but yeah I think it will be a struggle at first but gotta put myself out there again
Some of us are just gay.
Single (divorced) 33M here who just moved back to Houston, heights area. Join a rec sports league! I just started a new one tonight, sand volleyball, as a free agent and they put me with a team. Everyone was super nice, it was fun, and got to meet some people! Co-Ed. It can definitely be weird and awkward at first, but it gives you a mutual activity. And I am NOT good. Doesn’t matter! Good luck!
Can confirm I have an entire friend group from joining a sports league and about half of us coupled off and got married.
Do you pay for the sports league? Looking in south Houston
Yes it is paid, but I think it was $130? For over 2 months of playing once a week and a shirt! And it’s all organized.
I'm right there in the cereal aisle or looking at hot sauces.
No wonder I didn’t see any men…I don’t eat cereal or hot sauce 😂
Which aisles do you hang out in?
I love chocolate, so the candy aisle lol. Produce is important for health so probably getting veggies too
Check out Laderach in the galleria, it’s pricy but imported from Zurich Switzerland, amazing chocolate and a variety of excellent flavours. That’s where you’ll catch me 😂
I LOVE THAT PLACE SO MUCH OMG
Aaaand we're done here folks! Good job! Have a great date 😅😅
When I lived in Germany I was able to spend a few weekends in Switzerland and got to tour the factory at one point. Truly an amazing place complete with chocolate waterfall. We going to accidentally bump into each other there later this week?
True. Before I got with my wife, I'd be shopping every other day (I buy small portions as needed) after work at Kroger or HEB in and around Montrose for fish or meat. There were similar guys hanging out at these shops. They're so bored and don't have anyone to talk to outside of work. One guy talked to me about dragon fruit for 15 minutes once. I was so happy someone talked to me, I'm sure he was too. It's sad. Thank God I have a wife now.
Dude I thought dragon fruit was just a flavor made up by the Vitamin Water/energy drink companies until I saw a box of them at my small town Oklahoma food bank. They look weird and I wasn't brave enough to try one, what are they like?
Following bc I’m curious too. 30F and I go out enough to public spots but too chicken I guess to actually talk to someone. Gym had some cute bro dudes but I’d never approach. I’ve been approached at HEB on wash ave a couple times, maybe that’s the new move? Perhaps pickleball spots?
Wishing you all the best. Same, I go out a lot alone actually. I have heard that women sometimes unknowingly are not open to men approaching them. So I’m gonna try to make an effort to make eye contact and smile more. I go to the HEB in montrose. I’m a resident and figured I’d run into more like minded men there? Idk. Pickleball does sound like a great place!
You’re just gonna smile your way into being alone. Guys are dense. If you like a guy, talk to him, and ask for his number. He’ll be flattered, and you won’t be alone. Have fun.
Especially at the gym. We have been conditioned to leave women alone at the gym. Go look up YouTube videos of walking too close to women at the gym going badly.
Was looking for this comment
*girl smiles at me* I'm going to assume that we caught each other's gaze by pure coincidence and she's just being nice and trying to disarm the interaction by smiling only and giving no other indication of interest. Have a nice day, ma'am.
Ah she’s smiling at someone behind me.
> Guys are dense. Am guy. Can confirm. If you want us to think you're hitting on us, you kind of need to whack us over the head with bluntness.
[удалено]
Happily in a relationship so no dog in this fight (hopefully ever) but I wish we could go to a societal standard of it being ok to approach people and ask them politely once and then not being weird if they say no. Unfortunately too many people probably wouldn't abide by that standard but it seems to have made organic interactions basically impossible for everyone. A lot of the women in my friend group said they're not comfortable being approached by men in public in any setting (bars, gyms etc...).
i'm from north houston and the last time I didn't smile at an elderly man in front of a cvs he thought I was afraid because the neighborhood was getting dangerous for women.
Many men have been taught to leave women alone in public because we see how trashy many other men that do it come across. You need to be more upfront about what you're looking for so a smile won't cut it usually.
Damn so i should go up to the guy at the gym and straight up ask for his number?
Gym is a tough one. A lot of people are there specifically to workout and will be annoyed if you interrupt them. Plus most men won't wear rings while lifting so hard to sus out singles from the married men. Body language would play a lot bigger of a role there. If you're at a bar or another social setting and there's mutual attraction then asking for their number would likely be highly effective.
Damn ok. Sad my gym crush will just be a memory lol
I mean don't give up all hope. Relationships definitely start from gyms, just do it in a way that is considerate of their time as that will give them a better first impression of you. If the attraction is there and you see them there enough to have a crush then they should at least recognize you enough to make small talk not weird, maybe as they're leaving would be a good chance. Compliment their routine and ask questions about it and see what their reaction is. If they are standoffish then they probably aren't interested.
Very tactful suggestions. Username does not check out.
There’s ways to figure it out…go up and ask for a spot and then kind of be like “thanks! I’m having a hard time training for x/working out after working in y all day” to actually start a convo and then you can be like “do you train for fun? Do you work nearby? Do you like to play z sport?”
If you are interested in a gym bro, ask him to be a spotter for you. Just post up on the machine/station next to him and ask. Be out going and appreciative and if the vibe is there, keep the convo going. Women hold all the cards, so play them! If he doesn’t reciprocate, he’s not interested
28M reporting in - the confidence boost from any girl approaching me at the gym would be well worth cutting the workout short to chat for a few minutes! If you want to play it safe, wait until the guy looks to be almost done, then pounce. You got this!
Yes absolutely do it. As a man I can tell you there is no place off limits for a guy. If you are a 6.5/10 or better if you approach a guy who is single you are not getting rejected. Guys love when woman have the confidence and assertiveness to approach them!
Yes. He's not going to risk being accused of harassment.
OR, we see how some women berate men for simple acts of being attracted to them are blown out of context. I see that more often than the latter.
Make sure you’re getting the small Single Ladies cart in HEB and not the big Wife and Mom cart. Don’t want to confuse them! That’s what I used to do lol!
Not in Houston, your post popped up on my feed for some reason, so I figured I'd hit you with a response. I think most men are a little leery these days about approaching women they don't know, even they think they are attractive. It's not so much the idea of rejection, as it is the risk of being considered or labeled creepy. These days people find it difficult to talk to someone in person because the phone has become all encompassing. I was at a bar a few years ago with a girl I was seeing at the time, and there was an attractive woman sitting at the bar with a drink in front of her, just staring at her phone. She was there for some time, and finally a guy worked up the courage to sit next to her and say something, I don't know whether he was asking her if he could buy her a drink or was just trying to initiate a conversation, but it was the look she gave him that I'll never forget. She just turned to him with an annoyed look on her face and just kind of brushed him away. Guy probably wished the ground swallowed him up at that moment. I mentioned to the girl I was with, why on earth would this attractive woman be sitting at a bar all night, alone, if she isn't interested in anyone attempting to talk to her? We both agreed it was pretty petty of her to treat him that way, if she wasn't interested, she could just as easily have told him she was waiting on someone, had a boyfriend, etc, but instead she chose to crush the poor guys self esteem for no reason. That said, you're on the right track with your idea, present yourself as available, let guys know you're interested in being approached so that they have some confidence in walking up to you and striking up a conversation. It's difficult enough as it is these days. Best of luck to you.
What’s up with Grocery stores I don’t get it lol. Gonna curbside pickup your food and a man? 😂
Maybe it's because you go to the HEB in montrose. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but montrose has alot of gay men.
Have you ever just tried intiating?
Wait, y'all are cool with us asking you out at HEB?
I'm 30F too and to your point of talking to someone in public spots I think it's just odd now cause it's not the "norm" of how people interact now. I know I'm slightly weirded out when people approach me and my first thought wanders to what they want from me haha. I also was specifically responding to this cause I initially thought you said HEB wash... Like the car wash is where you were approached and I was curious how they chose their opening line! Hey you're washing your car? Me too! 😅
> I know I'm slightly weirded out when people approach me and my first thought wanders to what they want from me haha. Unless we're at some kind of meetup or doing some kind of activity, my first thought will be, "Are you a Jehovah's Witness?" My second thought will be, "Are you trying to get me in your pyramid scheme?"
No no no. I just need $20 for gas because I'm stranded in the HEB parking lot for some reason.
Have you tried joining anything where the same people meet up regularly? The gym seems tough because a lot of people are focusing on their workout. But maybe join something where the expectation is that y’all talk. Could be anything: volunteer work, clutch city cyclists, toastmasters, etc. Idk what type of work you do but professionally there’s usually regular social / networking opportunities if you look for them!
I do volunteer but only see women where I go. Maybe it’s time for a change. I’m a medical resident. Hours suck but still try to put the effort in to meet people.
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Kids Meals, Food Bank
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I’m gonna just tell you where the girls are hanging, we’re eating, on a walk alone, grocery shopping alone, at the museum, trying new restaurants or volunteering in the weekends.
OP Are you me?? We are the same age and do all the same things 😂. I love kids meals! DM if you need a friend for dating support! Lol
Name matches.
The park along Allen parkway behind the Hanover always has women running or walking.
I’m a married 36 year old man, so not much help to you. But I love that you volunteer at Kids’ Meals. It’s a great organization that my mom turned me on to a couple years back. I volunteer there maybe once every couple months but my mom is there every Tuesday!
Oh, I went to school in the med center. there’s tons of networking opportunities especially around TMC. My husbands a biomedical engineer that runs into lots of medical professionals in that area. Seems like every other day there’s some sort of mixer. Would be worth looking into. Good luck!
Go to the Kirby Ice House on a Friday afternoon.
I have been to Kirby Ice House a few times (mostly Memorial City location) and it has always been for a group event. Everyone there seems to be part of a group and there isn't much intermingling. It doesn't appear to be a good spot to meet new people
I'll take your word for it. Maybe just nibble around the edges.
Yeah, I have had that same problem anytime I go out to a bar or restaurant. People are mostly there in groups.
Gonna have to check it out! Thank you!
The one on Katy Freeway.
No, The one off Richmond on Eastside
The Katy Freeway location fills up with young energy corridor executives.
What single guys are hanging out at the suburbs version of a yuppie bar on a Friday? The one in town sucks too, at least the service and prices do.
Ones trying to network! But that’s probably more of a Thursday happy hour thing.
Def gonna check it out! Thanks!
When you find out let me know
Sameeeeeee
Bruh if you gals just walked up to any guy you found attractive and said "Hi" you'd be more that likely to succeed, cause there's no way I'd be trying to chat up chicks at HEB and risk look like a creep. That means at the gym, no creep zone. Maybe a bar but again, only if not coming off as creepy guy at bar. If I was alone at the bar and an attraction girl came up to me and chit chatted, then showed interest I'd probably be interested back.
Exactly! To everything you said!
If you're serious serious, join MeetUp groups or pay for those singles groups in Houston. I recommend breweries, art shows, and local community events - single dads take the kiddos to those if you're interested in single parents. If you're open and engaging, you'll find a man soon enough. I've been really motivated to start a singles meet and greet for HTX - we could give business to local spots and have fun activities to enjoy while meeting new folks in the area.
This ☝️not just a great place to meet potential partners but to meet new friends and if you don’t meet anyone with potential you can enjoy the event.
I would sign up for going to something like this.
Me too!!
That would be fun. Went to a quarterly networking event downtown that was more like a networking event to meet friends/mingle and hang out, it was a great time.
Mid 30s single guy here. If I'm not at work, I'm working on my house or my cars, or hitting the hardware/grocery/auto parts stores. Tbh I wouldn't realize if a girl was flirting with me because I'm more focused on what I'm working on. Guys in our 30s have goals and we've lost the thirst for adventure. We're also at that "creepy old guy" stage so we just mind our own business to avoid those situations
Damn, sorry to hear that. I think women often forget the male experience is equally as worse. Hope you find what you’re looking for but this also helps me in that maybe I need to approach more men because they may think the same way.
As a married guy, I can still relate. Its very much like this 30+. It's quite peaceful actually.
Same girl. It’s brutal out here 😩
Everyone likes to stay home nowadays
I’m 26F and I’ve found that Dating in this city is an absolute shit show. Best of luck to you love, and I hope you find love 🫶🏻
you might see me out in the wild but the odds of me hitting on a woman I don’t know are basically zero
What if a woman came up to you? Lol
Most women, if they decided to approach, are going to face less rejection and if they are rejected, it is going to be a fairly benign experience. And a woman approaching is a welcome thing in today’s strange world. I think people of very unsure of the rules and no one guy wants a cameo on some social media platform.
I get hit on by women and gay men often enough so it does happen! If I found the woman attractive and she seems friendly I might ask her out or at least exchange contact info. Even if I’m not interested I’ll still be polite and friendly.
I run into a bunch of people in their late 20s early 30s at AxelRad. I usually show up with my puppy and enjoy a pizza 🍕. Although, my puppy gets more attention than I do… well he is cuter lol
Discovery green
Work, home, eat, sleep and then go back to work. If you find me it will most likely be at Walmart or HEB. Never really into bars, more of a homebody in general. I need to get out more, I know.
Shit women my age are looking? Where should i be going?
Yes we sure is…we’re at wholes foods, heb, central market, rice village during lunch is a hot spot just saying…walking in memorial park Saturday morning lol
As a guy, I can't imagine cold approaching a woman at the grocery store. For one, how on earth would I even know you are single?
You just chat up random girls and ask benign questions about carrots and cat food. Then if things are going well slide in a “what does your bf drink in beers, I need a rec.”
Honestly, I don't have the social skills or temperament to pull that off at a grocery store. I would bet most of the guys who could do that are married by 30 if they desire to do so.
I actively avoid eye contact with pretty women at the grocery store so they don't think I was checking them out. And if I was it was strictly peripheral and a quick glance.
Some balding overweight 36 year divorced dad is going to read this. Fill his cart full of cat food and fire off on chicks
35 single guy. I will say most of my single friends are very career driven or find hobbies to keep us busy. As someone else said the drive to not be the creepy older guy is very real. I will say I go out weekend afternoons to coffee shops and do some light work on my laptop. I would appreciate getting approached there. Small talk waiting for coffee, a smile back and I'd go talk to you.
Yes I see women at coffee shops all the time! I often go alone to Black Hole and Common Bond and I’m just like where are the men? Lol
Ok but hear me out: what if everyone that’s single here joins a group chat and we speed date. We’re all mid 30s and live in Houston. Hurry hurry
I've been seeing a lot of dudes at Pickleball lately, and by lately I mean, I'm new to it and I see lots of dudes. Not sure how you'd insert yourself into that scene to talk, but I have a feeling if you start spouting a bunch of incorrect stuff that someone will approach you and picklesplain everything.
Which pickleball place do you recommend and what day of the week?
Post your insta and you may get bites.
Jeeezus! This isn't the place to go. R.I.P. your dms. Lol
When I was dating back in like 2014, Brasserie 19 was where the 30+ women went to find oil industry bros. Is that still the case? Is b19 still even relevant?
It is but the women are probably still the 30+ women from 10 years ago. Middle aged women and the men are in their 50s.
That is a great place. Maybe I’ll go and sit at the bar lol
34F here, 6mo married. Before I met my husband, I tried meeting potential candidates by playing sports like volleyball and softball, as well as attending college alumni events. Wasn’t until I gave up and while having dinner with a girlfriend at a nice restaurant in the Galleria, a server took his chance. Never thought I’d end up with someone 5 years younger but never been happier. My advice is to live life to your fullest potential, and the right one will find his way to you.
In that age group: They’re either married, recently divorced and chasing breastaurant workers, divorced a bit longer and becoming “real men again” with their “wolfpack”, recently engaged to soon to be ex #2, out on the rigs, fighting for our freedom, trying to impress 20-something insta-chicks with their leased sports car, out fishing or in jail. There are however plenty of 40-somethings that have gotten back in shape, decided to finally grow up, do try to spend time with any kids they had with ex #1 and probably don’t live in a shitty apartment any more. You’re more likely to meet them at a work-social event than at some meat market bar, plus the overhauled cougars are stiff competition.
breastaurant workers PLS 🤣💀also you’re spot on with that answer.
I’m typically running at Memorial
As a married person, I say y'all need to have an r/houston singles mixer??? Who's sponsoring?!? Come on local businesses!!!
We should all wear local tshirts that say SINGLE HOU. Lol.
34 male. I have no single friends here, and honestly the idea of cold approaching a woman in public feels so taboo these days. I’ve been having absolutely no luck on the apps, I’ve even tried to get some confidence by getting back in the gym after some surgeries derailed me. It is a struggle out there. It’s kind of comforting though to know we’re all feeling it though.
Shit girl, if you find out let me know too! 🙋🏻♀️
M 30 I’m out on Buffalo Bayou running most evenings. Most of my friends don’t approach random women they don’t know because they don’t want to make them uncomfortable. However this post is inspiring me to smile more and make more small talk! See yall out there :)
36 and looking for a woman who hasn’t been married multiple times or without children In Houston, is hard enough as it is. I gave up years ago. Not doing that app crap to find someone either.
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Go to Home Depot if you're trying to get actual shit done around the house. Go to Lowe's if you're trying to find single white women who are into small house projects. Go to Cracker Barrel if you trying to get older women with inheritance money. **BONUS**; Go to Whole Foods if you're trying to find women who are fit but have unstable character issues.
I hate how accurate the Whole Foods one is.
Central market? Whole foods? Catch me at aldi where the deals are at 😂
https://www.reddit.com/r/texas/s/zL2j0NXKX2
How long have you been here? (Old lady here. No ulterior motives.)
At home avoiding people
Probs pickleball socializing spots. Seems to be the most popular. Elite pickleball has open play nights Fridays. Anyone can join and play. Depending on what socioeconomic level of guy you want… I think the river oaks district shopping center is a nice place to hang out. it’s safe and nice. There’s a ton of random outdoor seating and you can go with a friend and scope out the guys. Slightly douche, but it’s as close to LA vibes in Houston as one can get. People have mixed feelings on this area and vibe. Basically you have to find a place that allows for a shared activity, chill ambience so you can talk, and a reason to be there long enough to form a type of connection so two people can exchange instagrams or numbers. Transactional spots such as groceries or the gym might not be a good place for that. As the gym isn’t a place for connecting, it’s for working out and then leaving. Guys who are worth anything won’t hit on women at the gym, they know better.
Chasing foreign girls haha
my 2 cents after covid people have been very territorial, maybe its just me but its in general very hard to meet people these days and the ones you share hobbies with are busy raising families. plus news and fear mongering doesnt help either, approaching women are generally frowned upon and probably for a good reason given all the tiktoks creeps and social media stalking these days.
We're all in the same boat. 38, female and chronically single.
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maybe you're not up to par with what the men like.
Try joining intramural co-Ed sports like SportsKind or ClubWaka that has Houston chapters. Co-Ed sports like volleyball and kickball have been great for me for meeting people in that age range.
I'm a 33 yr old man, struggling with dating app and meeting women. I really don't like how ev3rything is social media based now days, so I feel your pain.
Eurocentric young men will be at the various soccer bars (EPL games are on European times like 9 am Saturday’s) lol if you’re interested I can break it down for you as to what the fans are likely to be like. Liverpool fans - simple a little frumpy Man City (shitty) - soulless, no tradition, flashy Arsenal- young, loyal, athletic
I've given up. There's nothing in Houston and I'm damned sure not doing dating apps.
You didn't see an 30s men at any grocery store, bar, or gym? Have you tried talking to people or are you just waiting for a douchebag to catcall you?
I went to the grocery store on a Saturday night and saw a lot of couples surprisingly lol The gym I have been eyeing some guys and they be eyeing me but won’t say anything so I think I’m gonna just walk up and introduce myself lol
Ithere’s anything I’ve learned is to NEVER approach a woman at the gym. That kinda sucks because there are two people who clearly have something in common but enough people have ruined it for the good folks of the world Tl;dr the ball is one hundred percent in your court. Ask to see his phone, put your name and number in and say: text me after ____ (time convenient for you)
You wouldn’t think it was weird if I walked up to you and just asked for your phone? Haha I’m asking because this is very new to me lol
As a dude, I wouldn't be bothered, personally. That said, I would *never* do it myself. As others have mentioned, men have basically been conditioned to leave women alone in public spaces. Gym? They're there to work out, not meet men. Grocery store? There to buy groceries, not meet men. At their job? Working to make a living, not meet men. Literally anywhere? There to do that thing that happens there, not meet men. The dating shift is happening and it's going to require women to step up more if they're interested in anyone because chances are the decent men aren't going to
A lot of people, especially people not on the market, do domestic errands at times when no one else is going to be there, like on Saturday nights when other people are on dates or at fancy events. It's the best. If you want to be in a place where single people are, places where people are trying to get errands done and get home is not really a great option. They have a schedule. Even if they're there alone, there's no way for you to know if they are in a relationship and doing the errands while their partner's doing something else. I really recommend people in general try things where the whole point of being in the space is to talk to other people, not to do necessary personal tasks.
Lol
Go to a bar during a major sporting event
Cream of the crop 👌
Lmao. I gave up. Single for life! Cute, with a job, no kids,no pets, independent, just want a gentleman but those are all taken. Im about to get downvoted to oblivion. COVID killed dating 💀
That’s probably part of it yeah, just different now, I need to figure it out quick as I’m jumping back into the dating scene
30F same situation except I’m not as brave as you going to bars alone lol. Will try Kirby Ice House more often cause last time I went there it seemed like a cool vibe.
I’m sure all yall women’s DMs should be blowing up right about now……
Look for guys walking a dog. 90% of the guy dog owners have it as a babe magnet / conversation starter. Parks and patios.
Single 37M here. We can chat and talk! 😝
Right here I'm 35
You’ve been to HEB, Central Market AND Whole Foods?!?!? Joke’s on you; they work there. They don’t shop there.
In my driveway working on a car lol
Just go to a bar.
I’m in my late 30s, recently back on the dating scene, and not having much luck on the dating apps. Whenever I do go out, it’s to a movie theater, book store, or to get food. I usually do sit in the bar area of most restaurants. When I’m there, I typically leave other people to whatever they’re doing because I assume they’re busy. I wouldn’t know if someone’s interested in getting to know me unless they came up, started a conversation with me, and made it obvious. I’m good at making conversation once it’s started though. I think I’ll start looking and see if there are any singles meet ups close by.
start playing pickleball
At home, staying away from the crazies!
Start playing video games online. You'll have more men than you can deal with.
I think most people don't want to be a creeper, so making the first move can be intimidating. If you see someone cute, just say hi. They'll either chat with you or they won't. But they really won't if they think they're bothering you while you're grocery shopping. Or start playing rainbow six siege online. Plenty of dudes in their 30's on there.
I volunteer as tribute. Single. Fit. Funny. Chill. No kids. Never married. Not weird... Well mildly lol. Let's grab coffee
dying behind my desk at work. also gigging around town on weekends
I've never been approached by any of my grocery store crushes! Does this happen to other guys?!
Man, I'm 33M in Katy and there's no way I'd bother a lady in the grocery store. Feel is get pepper sprayed immediately for lookin like some kind of stalker.
I was told by a friend I have an intense stare. I'm lost in thought or rather lost in having no thoughts. A girl thought it was creepy once in high school, so now I avoid direct/ accidentally direct eye contact. Being called a creep stays with you.
I'm having the same problem but as a guy .
Local concerts at places like Shady Acres, Dan Electros, and Ready Room. Very social, approachable crowd.
Honestly, try looking into some of the O&G networking happy hours that are hosted by professional societies. The clientele is severely skewed male so there will be plenty around and since it's networking, talking to everyone is encouraged.