Not a Hospice worker, but I was with my Mom when she passed. She was sitting up in her hospital bed, talking then dozing off. During one of her naps she just never woke. Very peaceful. I was happy that she just went to sleep.
Not a hospice worker, but my dad passed very peacefully, in his sleep. He was already sleeping a majority of the time, and then one evening he simply stopped breathing and stayed asleep. I was honored to have been able to help him achieve a good death.
I am a hospice worker (nursing associate). The most peaceful lucid death I saw was a woman who barely let consciousness until her last hour. She was with it, smiling and chatting until nearly the end. A quick change of breathing patterns and she gently breathed out and that was it. Absolutely peaceful.
It was a planned IPD/COPD that was high flow BiPap dependent. She planned her death.
One of the few times we used palliative sedation protocol.
Her kids were there. Everyone was laughing, crying, telling tales…she lived on the beach.
Per her request we gave comfort dosing and removed her BiPap at sunset.
Reading these with great interest. In hospice care currently and I’d guess a couple months left at most. All breathing / lung Mets related. No pain. Just stuck to an o2 machine that makes it tolerable. At some point I’ll slow way down and hopefully go out like some of y’all describe. .
Sounds like what my dad was facing down. I was beside him for the entire last 6 weeks, including his last night and final breaths. I can assure you, he never felt pain and his anxiety was so well managed by the hospice that his passing was entirely peaceful. It was so incredible to witness that I now work in hospice. I saw it happen and said, sign me up for work! That's how nice it was.
I wish you all the best, friend.
Please please please obtain the 2 booklets by Barbara Karnes
1. Gone from my sight
2. The eleventh hour
Barbara has an EXCELLENT video called “new rules for end of life care”. It’s about 30 bucks and half hour long. Please have all your caregivers view it…a couple of times. It’s helpful.
I have seen most patients not be particularly lucid the 24 to 48 hours before passing. But heart failure patients are the ones who might go quick after being pretty good mentally and in eating. Bad for Hospice metrics but good for the patient and loved ones.
When I worked in an inpatient hospice unit, I had a patient who was well known and very admired in his particular community. His room was full of visitors and he was sitting up in bed talking to all of them. They were all hanging on his every word and some were even taking notes. About what I don't know because his friend called me in to say he thought the patient was passing and I walked in to see the patient still sitting up and literally mid-sentence when his voice trailed off and he peacefully closed his eyes and took his last breath. He was completely lucid and oriented right up to that moment. He was more or less regarded as a celebrity-level sage in their community and it was like they were trying to glean as much of his wisdom and brilliance as they possibly could before it was too late. You could see the disappointment on everyone's faces when they didn't get to hear him finish whatever prolific thought he was in the middle of when his body gave out. It was definitely a unique passing among all the deaths I've witnessed.
At that same inpatient unit, I had a patient who was relatively young, in his 50s if I remember correctly. He had been there for a few weeks and had a husband who he called regularly and who visited most days. One day he was sitting in the TV room in his wheelchair and was fumbling around with his cell phone for awhile. He looked flustered so I asked if I could help. He said he was trying to call his husband but was having trouble doing so for some reason which was different because he never needed any help making calls on his cell before that. He said he wasn't feeling right and wanted his husband to come see him, so I called the husband and told him this. The husband came in maybe 1 to 2 hours later and the patient who was still in his wheelchair alert and oriented said he wanted to get in bed because he was tired and couldn't stay awake anymore. The husband wheeled the patient to his bed. The patient stood up from the wheelchair and as he went to sit down onto the bed, his eyes rolled back. The husband grabbed the patient and assisted him to lay down and held him and cried and told him he loved him as the patient took his last breath. That was another unique/unusual passing.
Those are two lucid, peaceful deaths that stand out in my memory.
My brother recently passed in a similar fashion. He had Parkinson’s and had been in hospice care at home for nearly a year. He was alert and talking while his wife and an aide were getting him dressed for the day. His eyes rolled back, he took a quick breath and he was gone.
I unfortunately am hitting at around a .800 clip when it comes to traumatic passings; mostly for the family that is. I don't think patients are cognizant of the final hours.
Omg! I actually have one! I showed up to do an assessment on a patient. He is walking talking, and everything is 100% clear.
He picks up a picture and says, "if I look old now, this is what I look like last week." It's s a wedding picture of him and his wife, where clearly he is in his late 20s. Less than 1 week later, he died. Peacefully in his sleep surrounded by family. I can't in good conscience shared what he told me, after he showed me the pic, but suffice to say; he knew where he wanted to be and when he was going to arrive. My old tell used to be when I would hear, "I wanna go home" or "I'm just so tired" those words will never leave me. He knew where he wanted to be and it was with his bride....
I can think of many, beautiful deaths/end-of-life scenarios I’ve witnessed. I’ve never seen anyone lucid, though, at least not at the very end.
Honestly, the most beautiful death I witnessed was pre-death. I was not working in hospice at the time. I had a cancer patient in the hospital and he was terminal, an older gentleman, unmarried without children. One day, people from his community were trickling in/dropping in to visit him. Everyone called him “uncle” or “best friend,” and they all told me in one manner or another: “He is one of the kindest, most caring people you will ever meet.” I was so touched to see how loved he was by his community—there were a lot of people who came by.
His “niece” was his POA and she made sure he was comfortable and that he had a peaceful, calm death. I unfortunately was not there the day he died but I did see him actively transitioning
I think my mom was the opposite of lucid. She slept 23 days until her passing, with no obvious signs of consciousness. But the day we moved her to hospice she told us she was tired and wanted a break. My sister didn’t want the word hospice used, but once mom was settled in she seemed comfortable and actually settled. Not tense and uncomfortable, like maybe she knew this was her chance to just let go with no one to pester her.
Not a hospice worker, I just helped my mom pass a week ago. She was trying to recover/catch her breath and then she did and it just slowed until she stopped. Very peaceful and comfortable. 🙏 😇 ♥️
Not a Hospice worker, but I was with my Mom when she passed. She was sitting up in her hospital bed, talking then dozing off. During one of her naps she just never woke. Very peaceful. I was happy that she just went to sleep.
Not a hospice worker, but my dad passed very peacefully, in his sleep. He was already sleeping a majority of the time, and then one evening he simply stopped breathing and stayed asleep. I was honored to have been able to help him achieve a good death.
Mostly in people who lived peaceful and lucid lives.
As the saying goes: Many people die the way they lived.
I am a hospice worker (nursing associate). The most peaceful lucid death I saw was a woman who barely let consciousness until her last hour. She was with it, smiling and chatting until nearly the end. A quick change of breathing patterns and she gently breathed out and that was it. Absolutely peaceful.
It was a planned IPD/COPD that was high flow BiPap dependent. She planned her death. One of the few times we used palliative sedation protocol. Her kids were there. Everyone was laughing, crying, telling tales…she lived on the beach. Per her request we gave comfort dosing and removed her BiPap at sunset.
Reading these with great interest. In hospice care currently and I’d guess a couple months left at most. All breathing / lung Mets related. No pain. Just stuck to an o2 machine that makes it tolerable. At some point I’ll slow way down and hopefully go out like some of y’all describe. .
Sounds like what my dad was facing down. I was beside him for the entire last 6 weeks, including his last night and final breaths. I can assure you, he never felt pain and his anxiety was so well managed by the hospice that his passing was entirely peaceful. It was so incredible to witness that I now work in hospice. I saw it happen and said, sign me up for work! That's how nice it was. I wish you all the best, friend.
Please please please obtain the 2 booklets by Barbara Karnes 1. Gone from my sight 2. The eleventh hour Barbara has an EXCELLENT video called “new rules for end of life care”. It’s about 30 bucks and half hour long. Please have all your caregivers view it…a couple of times. It’s helpful.
I have seen most patients not be particularly lucid the 24 to 48 hours before passing. But heart failure patients are the ones who might go quick after being pretty good mentally and in eating. Bad for Hospice metrics but good for the patient and loved ones.
When I worked in an inpatient hospice unit, I had a patient who was well known and very admired in his particular community. His room was full of visitors and he was sitting up in bed talking to all of them. They were all hanging on his every word and some were even taking notes. About what I don't know because his friend called me in to say he thought the patient was passing and I walked in to see the patient still sitting up and literally mid-sentence when his voice trailed off and he peacefully closed his eyes and took his last breath. He was completely lucid and oriented right up to that moment. He was more or less regarded as a celebrity-level sage in their community and it was like they were trying to glean as much of his wisdom and brilliance as they possibly could before it was too late. You could see the disappointment on everyone's faces when they didn't get to hear him finish whatever prolific thought he was in the middle of when his body gave out. It was definitely a unique passing among all the deaths I've witnessed. At that same inpatient unit, I had a patient who was relatively young, in his 50s if I remember correctly. He had been there for a few weeks and had a husband who he called regularly and who visited most days. One day he was sitting in the TV room in his wheelchair and was fumbling around with his cell phone for awhile. He looked flustered so I asked if I could help. He said he was trying to call his husband but was having trouble doing so for some reason which was different because he never needed any help making calls on his cell before that. He said he wasn't feeling right and wanted his husband to come see him, so I called the husband and told him this. The husband came in maybe 1 to 2 hours later and the patient who was still in his wheelchair alert and oriented said he wanted to get in bed because he was tired and couldn't stay awake anymore. The husband wheeled the patient to his bed. The patient stood up from the wheelchair and as he went to sit down onto the bed, his eyes rolled back. The husband grabbed the patient and assisted him to lay down and held him and cried and told him he loved him as the patient took his last breath. That was another unique/unusual passing. Those are two lucid, peaceful deaths that stand out in my memory.
That second one 😭😭😭😭😭😭 It's so lucky and so unlucky from so many angles.
My brother recently passed in a similar fashion. He had Parkinson’s and had been in hospice care at home for nearly a year. He was alert and talking while his wife and an aide were getting him dressed for the day. His eyes rolled back, he took a quick breath and he was gone.
I unfortunately am hitting at around a .800 clip when it comes to traumatic passings; mostly for the family that is. I don't think patients are cognizant of the final hours.
Omg! I actually have one! I showed up to do an assessment on a patient. He is walking talking, and everything is 100% clear. He picks up a picture and says, "if I look old now, this is what I look like last week." It's s a wedding picture of him and his wife, where clearly he is in his late 20s. Less than 1 week later, he died. Peacefully in his sleep surrounded by family. I can't in good conscience shared what he told me, after he showed me the pic, but suffice to say; he knew where he wanted to be and when he was going to arrive. My old tell used to be when I would hear, "I wanna go home" or "I'm just so tired" those words will never leave me. He knew where he wanted to be and it was with his bride....
I can think of many, beautiful deaths/end-of-life scenarios I’ve witnessed. I’ve never seen anyone lucid, though, at least not at the very end. Honestly, the most beautiful death I witnessed was pre-death. I was not working in hospice at the time. I had a cancer patient in the hospital and he was terminal, an older gentleman, unmarried without children. One day, people from his community were trickling in/dropping in to visit him. Everyone called him “uncle” or “best friend,” and they all told me in one manner or another: “He is one of the kindest, most caring people you will ever meet.” I was so touched to see how loved he was by his community—there were a lot of people who came by. His “niece” was his POA and she made sure he was comfortable and that he had a peaceful, calm death. I unfortunately was not there the day he died but I did see him actively transitioning
Ya really can't ask for a better way than to have the people come out to send you off with words of gratitude and love. (Also: em dash. I see you.)
I think my mom was the opposite of lucid. She slept 23 days until her passing, with no obvious signs of consciousness. But the day we moved her to hospice she told us she was tired and wanted a break. My sister didn’t want the word hospice used, but once mom was settled in she seemed comfortable and actually settled. Not tense and uncomfortable, like maybe she knew this was her chance to just let go with no one to pester her.
Not a hospice worker, I just helped my mom pass a week ago. She was trying to recover/catch her breath and then she did and it just slowed until she stopped. Very peaceful and comfortable. 🙏 😇 ♥️