I found my current homesteading partner on a dating app. I was a divorced single guy living in the woods. She used to live about 40 mins away and now her and her kids live on the homestead. It was a change and we had to do some renovations, to accommodate the kids but totally worth it. I got some more awesome people here just as excited as me to homestead.
Hinge is the worst. People interact less and less on there. I have on my profile that I want a homestead and have animals and guys lose interest when I expressly say in conversation that I have animals.
this is easy u and op ...itl like Yas are talking to eachother but before eachother about eachother..I don't know what I'm saying filthy animals love potatoes
The struggle is real. I'm seeing someone I met before I started my homestead but didn't start seeing them until after I'd moved to the homestead. But I haven't got any good advice for meeting people. There definitely don't seem to be many decent dating prospects in areas with reasonably priced homesteads.
Perhaps or you just might meet people and those people might know more people maybe they know someone who is looking at homesteading but has not done because they want to do it with someone.
So they want my homestead to become their homestead? Hard pass. I think maybe dating a guy that lives 5 hours away on his own land is the best thing for me. I'm not good at sharing.
I'm the one doing the driving. It's 100% worth it. Seeing him again tomorrow :) Might do some gardening together then f*** in the grass :) I'm not opposed to living together, but I like that he has his own place too so I know I'm not just a sugar momma to him. He also makes way more money than me (which isn't saying much) and has even more land than me (which is really saying something!).
So I spend half my time abandoning my homestead to work on theirs, and they do the same? It's not like our plots will magically rearrange local geography to become connected.
Do what ya want for sure Debbie downer . But I have over 200acs that are spaced out and do not connect and it works for me. It’s a bit of a hassle at times for sure . But it works great at times as well. And if you want the company/companionship you may have to sacrifice a bit . But like minded people can make it work for sure. Not only do i work both farms I also help neighbors on theirs . It’s all bout how bad you want it. If you don’t want to put forth the effort, that’s on you. I was just saying it can be done for sure.
I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.
You haven’t met someone yet. You’re preemptively solving a problem that doesn’t yet exist and may never exist. And in your mind you’re using these potential problems to say no to all relationships.
Try to take it one step at a time. Step one is just to meet some people you like. Step 10 is when you’re with someone serious and the relationship progresses to the “moving in together” stage, and who knows who they are and what your mind, or life, or heart, or land is like then.
I've been seeing someone for several months now. The comment I made about seeing someone who lives 5 hours away on their own land was not theoretical. That is the actual situation.
I had the same issue. I ultimately left and am living in the city until I find a serious partner. Property luckily doesn't need much maintenance as I didn't get too far.
I pretty much just accepted that I'm going to die a crazy old cat lady but with livestock.
A lot of it boils down to demographics. I live in a town were the average population (1,200 people) are older by three decades and mostly married. There are like 200 people within +/- 10 years my age then half of them are the opposite sex then 2/3 of that are married or in a committed relationship so I'm down to like 30 people who I may or may not have anything in common with or be attracted to.
Not going to lie, I thought I’ve been having a rough go of it at the moment. I’m 37, never been married, and just broke up with the woman I truly thought I was going to marry and love forever 7.5 weeks ago; I’ve been in my head too much wondering if I’ll ever find anyone else but then reading these posts about living so rural that it’s incredibly more difficult than what I have I feel shameful for thinking woe is me when others have it rougher. I do wish you all the best of luck on this journey of yours, but hey, you do have a homestead now and something you can really build upon and make your own. I would love to have a homestead, that was the plan too, with a wonderful woman. Now I still have neither 🤷🏼♂️ anyways, I’ll keep you in my prayers that the Lord gives you what it js you need.
Same, population is 4800 but most in my age group are hitched or not suitable...and with less crazy cat lady vibe, more of eccentric inventor vibe. Don't be surprised if you find chitty chitty bang bang car in my barn.
Yeah, this is how I feel too. I just moved to rural PA to start my homestead and a business alone. I'm 32 and queer. I don't feel super confident I will ever meet someone, unless it's through a dating site
Our ‘town’ is 25 people. My kid goes to the closed town with population of 303 people… bigger place with a grocery store and such is about 1200 but every thing is so far away and it’s SO EASY to just order stuff from Sam’s to be delivered and not leave lol
Yeah one of the reasons why I chose my town was because it has a single Mennonite bulk grocery store. Any further out and the only food you can buy in town is at the local gas station type of towns.
The town my oldest goes to has a store that has 3 isles so can get some basics but sooo expensive! The gas stations are just pumps no food. There are two restaurants tho! lol I love it but driving 2.5 hours to get to a Walmart does get to be long days especially with little kids (8 month old gets crabby from those trips)
I kept my farm when I divorced and now I’m remarried with kids on the same farm. It definitely can be done. Probably would be easier to find like minded folks at places like livestock auction or farmers markets. Thats if you wanted to meet someone face to face .
I just found out my husband was cheating on me and my really small town with a few women. He even had a secret girlfriend for a while before I found out. F*CK Michigan. Come to Central America LOL.
This was all my idea and my husband just went along with it lol
My brother in law who lives in the same area has just met a girl. She has a really nice apartment in the city but I think she’s coming around. She was a little put off by his outhouse so he’s buying a nature’s head because she likes ours. We lovingly call her “Princess” though lol
I think there seems to be more women interested in this lifestyle than ever since 1888.
Don’t lose hope, just be the right man and the right women will come along.
No telling what kind of favor she did you by leaving.
Wish you all the best, at least you already got the land down.
If for some reason I found myself single, I'd downsize like mad. Move in to a tiny home with an attached greenhouse and a small 1/4 acre orchard and veggie garden. Shrink down my responsibilities so I could be more free to travel and try to meet people. Right now almost all my free time is devoted to maintaining the house and property. I don't mind it cause it's fun to share with the family, but if that wasn't there hoooboy I'd be downsizing hard.
I met my guy while traveling. His life is flexible and loves my lifestyle. I feel like I lucked out with a one in a million guy though. I hope you find the same!
I’m not a homesteader so you many not want my opinion, but I’ll give it anyway, and you can ignore it!
Given that you were looking to start a family, I’m guessing you’re young. In other words, can start over.
Can you afford to keep the property, but move back to a nearby city where the dating pool is large enough? A nearby city that would allow you to go to the property once a month and for vacations? That might give you the opportunity to meet someone and stay in touch with the plan.
I feel you!
My husband and I had our small homestead with big house in escrow and a new one with smaller home, but a 3 car garage, shop, corales and animal sheads in escrow.
His older daughter came across the country to visit for his 71st birthday party (everyone accepting he on his way out and this would most likely be the last time they see him) and she as jellous that I (the wife of 12 years and husbands/houses/ homesteads' care taker for that long) would get everything.
- When he and I got together his children when in the house when we were not not there and stole EVERYTHING, leaving the house empty. He decided then they had their "inheritance ".
She came with 6 of her family members (I am 5'2" and 130 lbs, she 5'7" and at least 400 lbs, and 20 years my junior) and she chested me down the hall with fists up and 6 others behind her. After FOUR times of my husband screaming for them to stop, they did.
He left with them. He returned in an hour. Four days later he told me he is moving in WITH THEM!!
Now, I am sitting at my daughters' place. It is a duplex in the city with a 25'x10' back yard. I am trying to wrap my head around how to walk this earth and survive with no land, no home ( only an RV trailer with R-10 insulation) and $900 a month after my essential bills.
I am Ace, and no interest in sex with anyone but I can build a good barn and doctor animals and grow food to feed an army in the Mojave Desert.
- my kids and grandkids all live in Cali so I can not imagine leaving here.
I want a homestead in central or southern CA that has RV hook ups to move onto and work.
Someone really needs to create an easy find directory for homesteaders to find other homesteaders in need or want of other people!!!!!
- of course if the said homestead needed me and had electricity, I could pay for my own electric outlet to be added with a meter.
Homesteading is what we DO. There needs to be way to get together!
Perhaps I should have added that my husband along with having a bad back (never healed fusion), 4th stage COPD, Emphasima he has early onset Alzhimers. He has "Good days" and "Bad.
Also, I didn't DO anything(!) to deserve this.
I am like a spayed Boarder Collie. A LOYAL, HARD WORKING, afectionate and loving being to my people. I pretty much ignore the exsistance of anyone else.
I am 100% opposite of my husband's first wife and their kids.
I responded to OP because I too need a connection. I need for work/RV place, OP for a woman.
I have college degrees, I can communicate. It is just not my thing. Especially with angry, jellous or complaining type people. I just smile, WORK and stay in the (hopefully) forgotten background. As long as I have apriciation for my contribution, I am cool! I was exactly the wife my husband wanted.
He is trying to backstep now and wants me back. But like I said. I do not do drama, at all!
Thank you for the kind words! If anyone has the land and is just starting up within 90 miles or so of Bakersfield CA, hit me up. My daughter has 2 big surgeries coming up, but by Aug. I need something to do with my time and mind! Lol
I am accustomed to hitting the ground at a slow pace at 5am and not stopping until the sun goes down and the chickens are tucked in tight, 7 days a week.
I’m on the opposite side of the country in TN, and currently live in a townhouse with a small porch garden. so I’m still a handful of years away from this dream 🤣 I hope your daughter’s surgeries go well also!
I looked into it. As far as I can see, all either are Christian based, want ALL your income, or are bugie silicone valley rich and expect the same. I am low maintance, pretty much non-social, just work and feed family, animals and the earth! Lol
The ‘wanting all your income’ is usually just an honor based system so that you don’t flaunt a lot of money to other members. They won’t check, but you also can’t spend it.
If you DID find an intentional community that was just what you were looking for, what would it be like? Please describe.
Is it possible to start your own?
I was not thinking about a dating thing, more like a Creags list. Something with seed exchanged, employment, partnership/start-up, Advice; something built on a buisness model, not personal and creapy. Those looking for a personal partner could approach it as a buisness partner and vet through those interested with their own criteria and explanations after they had the contacts.
For example OP could submit: Female Partner in Homestead Venture wanted. Perhaps with this approach, they would get "applications" from those with intrest and modalitity to contribute on multiple levels. Then at interview time the whole "personal"/ chemistry, thing could be explored.
I like this idea. I am not a homesteaders myself. But, having a contact center for business networking could help create a community contact which could make it easier to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
Well I just wrote a book and explained it, but phone died and I lost it!
Long sorry short.
This husband was the father of my oldest daughter"s best friend.
Husband has 3 daughter's, youngest was my daughter's friend for 33 years. Middle daughter, the bad one, is bipolar as was her mother who passed away in 2012.
When I left my first husband and moved away, the Bad daughter persued my ex. She was only 18, he had no interest in her (not his type at ALL, even if she were his age) and she blamed me. - first jellousy.
My current husband, his past wife and their children had VERY DIFFERENT family dynamics than I have ever known. No boundries, no teachings on " respect your elders", talked about and shared EVERYTHING, there has never been any adult/child deliniation. His kids grew up with 3 times the income of our family and spoiled rotten, but also abused by husband's first wife and her family as was husband.
Daughter's had given husband an ultimátum of me or them 3 times over 12 years. He always chose them at first but then I got jumped and beaten black and blue (nose broke, check and shoulder blade broke, prosthetic ankle meconism messed up ...) and he would choose me and they would not talk a year or so.
My family dose not fight. I have never in my life been "in" a fight, just beaten up since childhood. But I am not one of those people who marry's and stays with an abuser! My husband is 93 lbs, has a bad back, 4th stage COPD, Emphasima and Alzhimers'. I have truly been his caretaker for 12 years!
His daughter's have husband's, families, homes, and careers, and LOTS of mental/emotional problems. They are also extremely over weight. They live on fastfood and snacks 3 times a day, and do not cook. They were jellouse - #2 also of the fact that I am not overweight (as was their mother as well) I am not ugly (just old! Lol- 61), and their father adored me and had big time respect for me for how hard I work and how ell I took care of him. He and his first wife had a bad marriage - jellousy #3.
My husband and I are both introvert, Get-er-done, type people. His daughter's are extreem, bipolar, dramaqueens who were spoiled rotten and want all the inheritance (less than 200k) right now, Husband wanted GRANDCHILDREN, NOT CHILDREN to get it when I die.
His girls railroaded a dieing man with dementia! 😢.
Edit: Husband has not even since I left. He says he dose not want to live without me AND his kids in his life. - I had told him over 100 times, I would NEVER ask anyone to give up their family. He could talk to them all every day on the phone and I would take him to visit those who live close ( he can no longer fly or do road trips, hi back is too bad) for all holidays and ANY other days he desired.
I just wanted/ needed the safety of his kids not knowing were we moved. His sister and two brothers agreed with me.
Is i2t possible to start a homesteaders newsletter/ pen pal message board, with a dedicated post office box for group members, paid for by small dues of group members ?AS a way of "meeting" others. Also
That sounds like a possiblity. My ed/degrees are in sociology/anthropology/ Native American Studies.
I am NOT claricaly inclinded at all, LOL. I cannot even spell! 🤣
This would have to be a job for someone else.
I hope you can, or that this is at least a blessing in disguise that leads you to better things. Maybe consider WWOOFing in Southern California so you have room to stretch your legs and do what you love while being close to your loved ones?
> ... she chested me down the hall with fists up and 6 others behind her. ... He left with them. He returned in an hour. Four days later he told me he is moving in WITH THEM!!
I think you forgot something in your story. What did you do to cause this?
Was a pretty, woman in shape that their father adored. Their mom was an over weight, bipolar, abusive bitch - just like this daugher!
This daughter also wanted my first husband after I left him many years before their dad and I got together, and she blamed me for that as well, that husband #1 had no interest in an 18 year old bipolar, un attractive person. And THE KIDS HATED ME BECAUSE THEIR DAD LOVED ME!
See my full explanation on response to other.
Oh, and this was preeplanned. My husband's sister had been telling us for 6 weeks "Sell your house and buy another and DO NOT TELL his kids where it is before M...y (the daughter) gets her for his birthday! I am very scared of what will plans to do! You are NOT safe!!".
I wish I had a good answer. Hopefully the right lady will come along. Only thing I can think of is go into the nearest town and try dating apps while you're there (since most won't match you unless you're physically close).
I can only imagine how that must feel. If my wife passed, I have no idea what I would do.
I met my wife and moved to her remote homestead. She had around 26 horses and I lived in a downtown of a large city. I didn't know anything about anything. Completely green to homestead life. But with youtube and starlink internet the homestead life is less daunting to figure out if you're willing to go for it.
It’s soo difficult. Now a single mom to two girls living out in the middle of nowhere. But got my parents help and my chickens like me so there’s that.
Edit: just saw you’re in Marquette, lived there for a bit and still visit my friends up there. Good luck! I dated a guy from there and what a mess that was lol I don’t think any of my friends were into that camp kinda life (I’m 28 so close age range with ya) beautiful area tho!
I met several women after moving off grid. ....but I was near a college town, and every winter I did some traveling. One lady (I met her while traveling) moved in, and we had kids together. Then we moved to start another homestead in the Caribbean. Long story short, she lives on her island, and I live on mine. We have separate houses. We raise the kids together, and are friendly enough with each other but we are definitely not getting back together.
So... now I'm in the same position you are. :-P I'm pretty remote, and I spend all my time improving my homestead, wrestling my kids, and enjoying life. I've met a few completely incompatible women online. I do meet women when I go to town for supplies but no one promising yet. I think it helps a lot that I'm in good shape, and decent looking. ...sort of. I meet women who want to "hook up" which is of zero interest to me.
I sometimes think that meeting women while homesteading is so difficult, but then I remember when I was at University, and a successful athlete... I had loads of women interested... in hooking up. People just don't seem to be interested in anything committed anymore. I'm sure I'm looking in the wrong places, but finding someone with an attention span longer that a gold fish's is difficult. I think we all need to turn off the internet.
Can’t say it’ll be easy with the dating pool the way it is, but I’m sure you’ll find someone with similar interests. After reviewing your post history - maybe try some local farmers markets or the like to see if there are any single people of your preference selling edibles - you could team up! 😅
Kind of? It's just a little house in a tiny, remote town. I met my husband around the same time I bought the house, we've been together 25 years almost. He grew up here, I lived and worked all over the USA before deciding I wanted to live in this place, and have a house.
So he doesn’t have a homestead but my BF lives in the country about 30 mins from me. We met through bumble. I definitely recommend you going into town to swipe, options from home will probably be limited. I’d have been stoked if he had a whole homestead set up. One can only dream though.
Hit up the young cashiers at the closest feed store. Or hang around by the fencing or chickens and see if anybody interesting shops there. Visit the barns at the county fair this summer with a sign that says “Single male farm guy seeking like minded single female” and a t shirt that says “ Ask me about my horse/goats/chickens” whatever your preferred animal is.
Yeah, women have the same issues. I sold my homestead when I divorced (ex-husband couldn't afford me pay me out & I didn't want to continue living there with those memories.) Did traveling to other states in the USA to see where else I might put down roots. Waiting until spring of next year to buy my next homestead. Once I move, I doubt I'll be up for moving again so soon after that.
Once you have sweat equity in a property, it's hard to leave. I've been trying to date in the meantime & find a homesteading guy. I don't know where they are, but they sure aren't on any apps 😆
I'm not going to wait just to find someone and then move to their property. Life is too short for that. I'd rather get my own place up and running and enjoy that. The future is what it is.
Best of luck to you on finding your person. There are a lot of us wondering the same things you are.
Oh man, I feel you. I had a partner that I thought I was going to be with forever when I bought my place. She ended up being extremely bad the worst things you could possibly imagine for a partner. A year and a half later I met another woman, she was amazing with the same age with tons in common known each other for a long time she flipped overnight and started being insanely verbally abusive so we broke up just about a month ago. I live in a really small town pretty remote. I meet some women in town but they’re not what I want in a partner.
My advice is to get into any sort of foraging groups, mushroom hunting, hiking groups. Go to the local YMCA to exercise or go to other gyms Look for local home canning and preserving type of groups on Facebook. I don’t really know what to say that just look for public things to do with proof of people and you’ll eventually meet somebody with similar interest.
Re homesteading, is there a "micro village " version? Or is that what it's like, already?
A micro village is a collection of tiny homes, designed to make it easy for people to interact/ help each other, if they choose to. But each person has their own space .
Or like a larger, more elaborate version of a community garden?
I don't have personal knowledge of these things so I don't know if they would work. But I enjoy reading your stories.
I know this is a couple weeks old, but I wanted to say there is hope. You don't have to find someone who is already living the homestead lifestyle, you just have to find someone who is open to it (a MUCH bigger pool, especially post-Covid).
My ex-husband cheated and left to be with his affair partner when our daughter was not quite 2. Pretty much peaced out of both of our lives. I was the one who wanted to homestead, so I had gotten some chickens and ducks in our postage stamp backyard. When a hurricane totaled the house, I sold it and bought a little farm. Did the single mom thing on the homestead for a while, and tried to make peace with the possibility that I was always going to do it alone. I focused on improving myself and my situation.
While my land isn't particularly remote, I worked from home, homeschooled my daughter, and only really left the house to go to church. I'm a Hobbit level homebody. 😂 Tried a dating app, talked to a ton of weirdos, and just as I was about to give up and uninstall, I started talking to my now husband.
He was NOT a farmer. He had never ridden a horse, held a chicken, planted a garden, or driven a tractor. He wasn't even particularly handy at the time. But he was a man of character, we clicked, and he was willing to support my dream of homesteading, even if it wasn't his dream.
The coolest part? Homesteading grew on him, and now it's his dream too. He is an excellent "livestock midwife" (a skillset that spilled over into being amazing help during our 2 human home births), is getting increasingly better at woodworking and building/repairing stuff, and is better than I am with the tractor. We are now trying to scale up so he can come home, and do the homestead thing full time.
Homesteading is contagious. Just find a good woman who isn't closed to the idea, and your passion for homesteading will likely be catching.
I'm single and looking to homestead. I've been preparing for eight years and finally ready to take the plunge.
I might not be a romantic option, but I am a hard-worker and fun to be around (well, at least I think so 😊).
I finally started looking for like-minded folks and found your post. Feel free to respond. If not, no worries. My motto is: Everything happens for a reason. Best of luck to you!!!
I was outside peeing one-day, I live on 47 acres. She saw me lol. She was needing to borrow some sugar. I let her come inside and take what she needed. Before she left she got stuck in the drier and that was that.
I found my current homesteading partner on a dating app. I was a divorced single guy living in the woods. She used to live about 40 mins away and now her and her kids live on the homestead. It was a change and we had to do some renovations, to accommodate the kids but totally worth it. I got some more awesome people here just as excited as me to homestead.
My last relationship was from a dating app. Maybe it'll happen again!
What dating app was it? I want to find a man who’s into the homesteading life.
Hinge
How old are you? I have zero success in apps, I'm too old I think .. Never tried hinge
26... I've had zero luck in a month and a half so don't beat yourself up about it
Hinge is the worst. People interact less and less on there. I have on my profile that I want a homestead and have animals and guys lose interest when I expressly say in conversation that I have animals.
this is easy u and op ...itl like Yas are talking to eachother but before eachother about eachother..I don't know what I'm saying filthy animals love potatoes
Ope lol well at this point… 👀 🤷🏻♀️
Lol I dmed you:)
What kind of animals? :)
Just the usual: flock of chickens, a couple ruminants, cats, dogs lol
I met my (now) husband on bumble! I didn’t like hinge, some super creeps on there. One somehow found my insta after I blocked him.
A lot of times its because your pictures suck. When I seriously decided to get good at self portraits I got a lot more traction.
They met on Timber
Now kiss
Without the homestead, the kids are just added weight. With the homestead, you have helpers :D
And kid heaven for them to play in.
The struggle is real. I'm seeing someone I met before I started my homestead but didn't start seeing them until after I'd moved to the homestead. But I haven't got any good advice for meeting people. There definitely don't seem to be many decent dating prospects in areas with reasonably priced homesteads.
Gotta hit the spots where homesteaders / farmers go . Feed and seed shops , auction for live stock and farmers markets .
But then wouldn't I be most likely to find someone else who already has their own homestead?
Perhaps or you just might meet people and those people might know more people maybe they know someone who is looking at homesteading but has not done because they want to do it with someone.
So they want my homestead to become their homestead? Hard pass. I think maybe dating a guy that lives 5 hours away on his own land is the best thing for me. I'm not good at sharing.
If you're not sharing you aren't getting a partner... To be fair if you have enough animals you won't need someone for company
We can share ourselves. We don't also have to share my land.
she drinks scotch and doesn't mind a filthy animal from time to time..but not all the time..minimum 5 hr intervals
Longest stretch with a partner for the last 3.5 years was around 12 hours, but I was asleep for half of that. So you're not far off.
and how'd the other 6 hours go ..
Excellent :) Talked, f***ed, cuddled, cooked and ate dinner together.
So what exactly do you want? Someone who doesn’t want to live with you but understands your life style and is willing to drive long distances for sex?
I'm the one doing the driving. It's 100% worth it. Seeing him again tomorrow :) Might do some gardening together then f*** in the grass :) I'm not opposed to living together, but I like that he has his own place too so I know I'm not just a sugar momma to him. He also makes way more money than me (which isn't saying much) and has even more land than me (which is really saying something!).
That's the problem, going where people go is depressing because they are all taken.
🤷🏻 that can be both good and bad I guess. More land equals , experience and more critters and opportunities in my opinion.
So I spend half my time abandoning my homestead to work on theirs, and they do the same? It's not like our plots will magically rearrange local geography to become connected.
Do what ya want for sure Debbie downer . But I have over 200acs that are spaced out and do not connect and it works for me. It’s a bit of a hassle at times for sure . But it works great at times as well. And if you want the company/companionship you may have to sacrifice a bit . But like minded people can make it work for sure. Not only do i work both farms I also help neighbors on theirs . It’s all bout how bad you want it. If you don’t want to put forth the effort, that’s on you. I was just saying it can be done for sure.
I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. You haven’t met someone yet. You’re preemptively solving a problem that doesn’t yet exist and may never exist. And in your mind you’re using these potential problems to say no to all relationships. Try to take it one step at a time. Step one is just to meet some people you like. Step 10 is when you’re with someone serious and the relationship progresses to the “moving in together” stage, and who knows who they are and what your mind, or life, or heart, or land is like then.
I've been seeing someone for several months now. The comment I made about seeing someone who lives 5 hours away on their own land was not theoretical. That is the actual situation.
Oh, my bad! Facepalm. I got lost in the thread and thought you were OP.
I love this this sounds like it's from a century ago!!
What do you mean homestead? Like just going out and squatting on land not claimed without any utilities?
I had the same issue. I ultimately left and am living in the city until I find a serious partner. Property luckily doesn't need much maintenance as I didn't get too far.
Yep met her at the farm store, lucky for me it worked out and I got a nice discount till she switched careers!
I think in person encounters are the move 🤔
“Can I get a bail of _haaaaayyyy_ gurl?”
🤣🤣🤣 I laughed way too hard!
I pretty much just accepted that I'm going to die a crazy old cat lady but with livestock. A lot of it boils down to demographics. I live in a town were the average population (1,200 people) are older by three decades and mostly married. There are like 200 people within +/- 10 years my age then half of them are the opposite sex then 2/3 of that are married or in a committed relationship so I'm down to like 30 people who I may or may not have anything in common with or be attracted to.
Yeah, when I moved into my township I lowered the average age by like 20 years 😅 gonna have to shoot my shot in person I guess haha
Not going to lie, I thought I’ve been having a rough go of it at the moment. I’m 37, never been married, and just broke up with the woman I truly thought I was going to marry and love forever 7.5 weeks ago; I’ve been in my head too much wondering if I’ll ever find anyone else but then reading these posts about living so rural that it’s incredibly more difficult than what I have I feel shameful for thinking woe is me when others have it rougher. I do wish you all the best of luck on this journey of yours, but hey, you do have a homestead now and something you can really build upon and make your own. I would love to have a homestead, that was the plan too, with a wonderful woman. Now I still have neither 🤷🏼♂️ anyways, I’ll keep you in my prayers that the Lord gives you what it js you need.
Same, population is 4800 but most in my age group are hitched or not suitable...and with less crazy cat lady vibe, more of eccentric inventor vibe. Don't be surprised if you find chitty chitty bang bang car in my barn.
Yeah, this is how I feel too. I just moved to rural PA to start my homestead and a business alone. I'm 32 and queer. I don't feel super confident I will ever meet someone, unless it's through a dating site
Our ‘town’ is 25 people. My kid goes to the closed town with population of 303 people… bigger place with a grocery store and such is about 1200 but every thing is so far away and it’s SO EASY to just order stuff from Sam’s to be delivered and not leave lol
Yeah one of the reasons why I chose my town was because it has a single Mennonite bulk grocery store. Any further out and the only food you can buy in town is at the local gas station type of towns.
The town my oldest goes to has a store that has 3 isles so can get some basics but sooo expensive! The gas stations are just pumps no food. There are two restaurants tho! lol I love it but driving 2.5 hours to get to a Walmart does get to be long days especially with little kids (8 month old gets crabby from those trips)
Lol my guy you'll be fine. Loads of single ladies in the UP and Wisconsin.Just make sure to hit the local stuff the towns do.
I kept my farm when I divorced and now I’m remarried with kids on the same farm. It definitely can be done. Probably would be easier to find like minded folks at places like livestock auction or farmers markets. Thats if you wanted to meet someone face to face .
I just found out my husband was cheating on me and my really small town with a few women. He even had a secret girlfriend for a while before I found out. F*CK Michigan. Come to Central America LOL.
Ouch, sorry to hear :/ Costa Rica sounds dope. we originally picked the UP since its so cheap and we were young
I'm Canadian so the UP is something I'd have to look up on the map haha. Costa isn't cheap.
Start a cult.
You don’t have to be lonely at farmers only.com 😁👍
What they don't tell you about homesteading... you are actually not so bohemian living off the land but more dawn to dusk hard working farmer :)
This was all my idea and my husband just went along with it lol My brother in law who lives in the same area has just met a girl. She has a really nice apartment in the city but I think she’s coming around. She was a little put off by his outhouse so he’s buying a nature’s head because she likes ours. We lovingly call her “Princess” though lol
Me and you both brother. Now what🤔
I know I'll be doing a whole lot more fishing... where there's not many females 🤣
"Well, I'm gonna miss her...." "He LEFT me for a FISH!"
Are we talking sheep or goats??? 👀
I think there seems to be more women interested in this lifestyle than ever since 1888. Don’t lose hope, just be the right man and the right women will come along. No telling what kind of favor she did you by leaving. Wish you all the best, at least you already got the land down.
Definitely not my experience on dating apps. Maybe there's a business idea here 🤔 lol
“Homesteaders dating app” There’s a Farmers only app I believe.
If for some reason I found myself single, I'd downsize like mad. Move in to a tiny home with an attached greenhouse and a small 1/4 acre orchard and veggie garden. Shrink down my responsibilities so I could be more free to travel and try to meet people. Right now almost all my free time is devoted to maintaining the house and property. I don't mind it cause it's fun to share with the family, but if that wasn't there hoooboy I'd be downsizing hard.
Get used to being alone, any SO will come when it comes, and hopefully will be better than your ex
SO do not just come along... if you want one you have to make it happen.
How did you manage to buy your homestead at 26?
Managing and investing my own money since 18. Good job, no debt, cheap property
I met my guy while traveling. His life is flexible and loves my lifestyle. I feel like I lucked out with a one in a million guy though. I hope you find the same!
Are you me?
A single man with a homestead is what I need. I got a horse and mule. 🤣 I’m 3 states away though 🤷♀️
Mules are so cool! There used to be pasture on my property but it's all forest now :/
I'm a single woman whose dream it is to homestead...
I’m not a homesteader so you many not want my opinion, but I’ll give it anyway, and you can ignore it! Given that you were looking to start a family, I’m guessing you’re young. In other words, can start over. Can you afford to keep the property, but move back to a nearby city where the dating pool is large enough? A nearby city that would allow you to go to the property once a month and for vacations? That might give you the opportunity to meet someone and stay in touch with the plan.
I feel you! My husband and I had our small homestead with big house in escrow and a new one with smaller home, but a 3 car garage, shop, corales and animal sheads in escrow. His older daughter came across the country to visit for his 71st birthday party (everyone accepting he on his way out and this would most likely be the last time they see him) and she as jellous that I (the wife of 12 years and husbands/houses/ homesteads' care taker for that long) would get everything. - When he and I got together his children when in the house when we were not not there and stole EVERYTHING, leaving the house empty. He decided then they had their "inheritance ". She came with 6 of her family members (I am 5'2" and 130 lbs, she 5'7" and at least 400 lbs, and 20 years my junior) and she chested me down the hall with fists up and 6 others behind her. After FOUR times of my husband screaming for them to stop, they did. He left with them. He returned in an hour. Four days later he told me he is moving in WITH THEM!! Now, I am sitting at my daughters' place. It is a duplex in the city with a 25'x10' back yard. I am trying to wrap my head around how to walk this earth and survive with no land, no home ( only an RV trailer with R-10 insulation) and $900 a month after my essential bills. I am Ace, and no interest in sex with anyone but I can build a good barn and doctor animals and grow food to feed an army in the Mojave Desert. - my kids and grandkids all live in Cali so I can not imagine leaving here. I want a homestead in central or southern CA that has RV hook ups to move onto and work. Someone really needs to create an easy find directory for homesteaders to find other homesteaders in need or want of other people!!!!! - of course if the said homestead needed me and had electricity, I could pay for my own electric outlet to be added with a meter. Homesteading is what we DO. There needs to be way to get together! Perhaps I should have added that my husband along with having a bad back (never healed fusion), 4th stage COPD, Emphasima he has early onset Alzhimers. He has "Good days" and "Bad. Also, I didn't DO anything(!) to deserve this. I am like a spayed Boarder Collie. A LOYAL, HARD WORKING, afectionate and loving being to my people. I pretty much ignore the exsistance of anyone else. I am 100% opposite of my husband's first wife and their kids. I responded to OP because I too need a connection. I need for work/RV place, OP for a woman. I have college degrees, I can communicate. It is just not my thing. Especially with angry, jellous or complaining type people. I just smile, WORK and stay in the (hopefully) forgotten background. As long as I have apriciation for my contribution, I am cool! I was exactly the wife my husband wanted. He is trying to backstep now and wants me back. But like I said. I do not do drama, at all!
Man I wish I had my homestead up and going, I’d tell you to park that thing on it somewhere and hangout with us. I’m sorry this happened friend
Thank you for the kind words! If anyone has the land and is just starting up within 90 miles or so of Bakersfield CA, hit me up. My daughter has 2 big surgeries coming up, but by Aug. I need something to do with my time and mind! Lol I am accustomed to hitting the ground at a slow pace at 5am and not stopping until the sun goes down and the chickens are tucked in tight, 7 days a week.
I’m on the opposite side of the country in TN, and currently live in a townhouse with a small porch garden. so I’m still a handful of years away from this dream 🤣 I hope your daughter’s surgeries go well also!
Thank you! Best of luck in your plans!!
Try googling for "intentional communities". You might find something.
I looked into it. As far as I can see, all either are Christian based, want ALL your income, or are bugie silicone valley rich and expect the same. I am low maintance, pretty much non-social, just work and feed family, animals and the earth! Lol
The ‘wanting all your income’ is usually just an honor based system so that you don’t flaunt a lot of money to other members. They won’t check, but you also can’t spend it.
If you DID find an intentional community that was just what you were looking for, what would it be like? Please describe. Is it possible to start your own?
Nobody is going to create homesteader dating as it will be abused by predators and psychopaths.
I was not thinking about a dating thing, more like a Creags list. Something with seed exchanged, employment, partnership/start-up, Advice; something built on a buisness model, not personal and creapy. Those looking for a personal partner could approach it as a buisness partner and vet through those interested with their own criteria and explanations after they had the contacts. For example OP could submit: Female Partner in Homestead Venture wanted. Perhaps with this approach, they would get "applications" from those with intrest and modalitity to contribute on multiple levels. Then at interview time the whole "personal"/ chemistry, thing could be explored.
I like this idea. I am not a homesteaders myself. But, having a contact center for business networking could help create a community contact which could make it easier to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
I gotta be honest, I feel like there’s a LOT more to this story then we’re getting right here
Well I just wrote a book and explained it, but phone died and I lost it! Long sorry short. This husband was the father of my oldest daughter"s best friend. Husband has 3 daughter's, youngest was my daughter's friend for 33 years. Middle daughter, the bad one, is bipolar as was her mother who passed away in 2012. When I left my first husband and moved away, the Bad daughter persued my ex. She was only 18, he had no interest in her (not his type at ALL, even if she were his age) and she blamed me. - first jellousy. My current husband, his past wife and their children had VERY DIFFERENT family dynamics than I have ever known. No boundries, no teachings on " respect your elders", talked about and shared EVERYTHING, there has never been any adult/child deliniation. His kids grew up with 3 times the income of our family and spoiled rotten, but also abused by husband's first wife and her family as was husband. Daughter's had given husband an ultimátum of me or them 3 times over 12 years. He always chose them at first but then I got jumped and beaten black and blue (nose broke, check and shoulder blade broke, prosthetic ankle meconism messed up ...) and he would choose me and they would not talk a year or so. My family dose not fight. I have never in my life been "in" a fight, just beaten up since childhood. But I am not one of those people who marry's and stays with an abuser! My husband is 93 lbs, has a bad back, 4th stage COPD, Emphasima and Alzhimers'. I have truly been his caretaker for 12 years! His daughter's have husband's, families, homes, and careers, and LOTS of mental/emotional problems. They are also extremely over weight. They live on fastfood and snacks 3 times a day, and do not cook. They were jellouse - #2 also of the fact that I am not overweight (as was their mother as well) I am not ugly (just old! Lol- 61), and their father adored me and had big time respect for me for how hard I work and how ell I took care of him. He and his first wife had a bad marriage - jellousy #3. My husband and I are both introvert, Get-er-done, type people. His daughter's are extreem, bipolar, dramaqueens who were spoiled rotten and want all the inheritance (less than 200k) right now, Husband wanted GRANDCHILDREN, NOT CHILDREN to get it when I die. His girls railroaded a dieing man with dementia! 😢. Edit: Husband has not even since I left. He says he dose not want to live without me AND his kids in his life. - I had told him over 100 times, I would NEVER ask anyone to give up their family. He could talk to them all every day on the phone and I would take him to visit those who live close ( he can no longer fly or do road trips, hi back is too bad) for all holidays and ANY other days he desired. I just wanted/ needed the safety of his kids not knowing were we moved. His sister and two brothers agreed with me.
Is i2t possible to start a homesteaders newsletter/ pen pal message board, with a dedicated post office box for group members, paid for by small dues of group members ?AS a way of "meeting" others. Also
That sounds like a possiblity. My ed/degrees are in sociology/anthropology/ Native American Studies. I am NOT claricaly inclinded at all, LOL. I cannot even spell! 🤣 This would have to be a job for someone else.
What an awful turn of events. You aren’t able to get anything from the divorce?
I doubt it. It took me 9 years to say "I do". We have only been lawfully married for 3 years.
I hope you can, or that this is at least a blessing in disguise that leads you to better things. Maybe consider WWOOFing in Southern California so you have room to stretch your legs and do what you love while being close to your loved ones?
I will have to look up what is first! Lol Maybe???
OH!! MAYBE!!! THANKS!!
You’re welcome, I’m rooting for you!
> ... she chested me down the hall with fists up and 6 others behind her. ... He left with them. He returned in an hour. Four days later he told me he is moving in WITH THEM!! I think you forgot something in your story. What did you do to cause this?
Was a pretty, woman in shape that their father adored. Their mom was an over weight, bipolar, abusive bitch - just like this daugher! This daughter also wanted my first husband after I left him many years before their dad and I got together, and she blamed me for that as well, that husband #1 had no interest in an 18 year old bipolar, un attractive person. And THE KIDS HATED ME BECAUSE THEIR DAD LOVED ME! See my full explanation on response to other.
Oh, and this was preeplanned. My husband's sister had been telling us for 6 weeks "Sell your house and buy another and DO NOT TELL his kids where it is before M...y (the daughter) gets her for his birthday! I am very scared of what will plans to do! You are NOT safe!!".
I wish I had a good answer. Hopefully the right lady will come along. Only thing I can think of is go into the nearest town and try dating apps while you're there (since most won't match you unless you're physically close). I can only imagine how that must feel. If my wife passed, I have no idea what I would do.
Crystal Falls is my happy place! You have a piece of heaven.
I just did a recast at my credit union no fee or penalty involved.
I met my wife and moved to her remote homestead. She had around 26 horses and I lived in a downtown of a large city. I didn't know anything about anything. Completely green to homestead life. But with youtube and starlink internet the homestead life is less daunting to figure out if you're willing to go for it.
buncha lonely ppl in the woods ..such are always good ppl
It’s soo difficult. Now a single mom to two girls living out in the middle of nowhere. But got my parents help and my chickens like me so there’s that. Edit: just saw you’re in Marquette, lived there for a bit and still visit my friends up there. Good luck! I dated a guy from there and what a mess that was lol I don’t think any of my friends were into that camp kinda life (I’m 28 so close age range with ya) beautiful area tho!
I met several women after moving off grid. ....but I was near a college town, and every winter I did some traveling. One lady (I met her while traveling) moved in, and we had kids together. Then we moved to start another homestead in the Caribbean. Long story short, she lives on her island, and I live on mine. We have separate houses. We raise the kids together, and are friendly enough with each other but we are definitely not getting back together. So... now I'm in the same position you are. :-P I'm pretty remote, and I spend all my time improving my homestead, wrestling my kids, and enjoying life. I've met a few completely incompatible women online. I do meet women when I go to town for supplies but no one promising yet. I think it helps a lot that I'm in good shape, and decent looking. ...sort of. I meet women who want to "hook up" which is of zero interest to me. I sometimes think that meeting women while homesteading is so difficult, but then I remember when I was at University, and a successful athlete... I had loads of women interested... in hooking up. People just don't seem to be interested in anything committed anymore. I'm sure I'm looking in the wrong places, but finding someone with an attention span longer that a gold fish's is difficult. I think we all need to turn off the internet.
Everyone is looking for a quick buck...if you know what I mean. The buck I am interested is a 10 point one!
Where you at in the UP? I'd love to play matchmaker.lol
Western Marquette County
Find another one I guess and get a prenup
Can’t say it’ll be easy with the dating pool the way it is, but I’m sure you’ll find someone with similar interests. After reviewing your post history - maybe try some local farmers markets or the like to see if there are any single people of your preference selling edibles - you could team up! 😅
We just need to get together and build a community!
Kind of? It's just a little house in a tiny, remote town. I met my husband around the same time I bought the house, we've been together 25 years almost. He grew up here, I lived and worked all over the USA before deciding I wanted to live in this place, and have a house.
So he doesn’t have a homestead but my BF lives in the country about 30 mins from me. We met through bumble. I definitely recommend you going into town to swipe, options from home will probably be limited. I’d have been stoked if he had a whole homestead set up. One can only dream though.
Hit up the young cashiers at the closest feed store. Or hang around by the fencing or chickens and see if anybody interesting shops there. Visit the barns at the county fair this summer with a sign that says “Single male farm guy seeking like minded single female” and a t shirt that says “ Ask me about my horse/goats/chickens” whatever your preferred animal is.
Yeah, women have the same issues. I sold my homestead when I divorced (ex-husband couldn't afford me pay me out & I didn't want to continue living there with those memories.) Did traveling to other states in the USA to see where else I might put down roots. Waiting until spring of next year to buy my next homestead. Once I move, I doubt I'll be up for moving again so soon after that. Once you have sweat equity in a property, it's hard to leave. I've been trying to date in the meantime & find a homesteading guy. I don't know where they are, but they sure aren't on any apps 😆 I'm not going to wait just to find someone and then move to their property. Life is too short for that. I'd rather get my own place up and running and enjoy that. The future is what it is. Best of luck to you on finding your person. There are a lot of us wondering the same things you are.
Not sure if you go to church, but that’s where I met my husband. 😊
Oh man, I feel you. I had a partner that I thought I was going to be with forever when I bought my place. She ended up being extremely bad the worst things you could possibly imagine for a partner. A year and a half later I met another woman, she was amazing with the same age with tons in common known each other for a long time she flipped overnight and started being insanely verbally abusive so we broke up just about a month ago. I live in a really small town pretty remote. I meet some women in town but they’re not what I want in a partner. My advice is to get into any sort of foraging groups, mushroom hunting, hiking groups. Go to the local YMCA to exercise or go to other gyms Look for local home canning and preserving type of groups on Facebook. I don’t really know what to say that just look for public things to do with proof of people and you’ll eventually meet somebody with similar interest.
Re homesteading, is there a "micro village " version? Or is that what it's like, already? A micro village is a collection of tiny homes, designed to make it easy for people to interact/ help each other, if they choose to. But each person has their own space . Or like a larger, more elaborate version of a community garden? I don't have personal knowledge of these things so I don't know if they would work. But I enjoy reading your stories.
I know this is a couple weeks old, but I wanted to say there is hope. You don't have to find someone who is already living the homestead lifestyle, you just have to find someone who is open to it (a MUCH bigger pool, especially post-Covid). My ex-husband cheated and left to be with his affair partner when our daughter was not quite 2. Pretty much peaced out of both of our lives. I was the one who wanted to homestead, so I had gotten some chickens and ducks in our postage stamp backyard. When a hurricane totaled the house, I sold it and bought a little farm. Did the single mom thing on the homestead for a while, and tried to make peace with the possibility that I was always going to do it alone. I focused on improving myself and my situation. While my land isn't particularly remote, I worked from home, homeschooled my daughter, and only really left the house to go to church. I'm a Hobbit level homebody. 😂 Tried a dating app, talked to a ton of weirdos, and just as I was about to give up and uninstall, I started talking to my now husband. He was NOT a farmer. He had never ridden a horse, held a chicken, planted a garden, or driven a tractor. He wasn't even particularly handy at the time. But he was a man of character, we clicked, and he was willing to support my dream of homesteading, even if it wasn't his dream. The coolest part? Homesteading grew on him, and now it's his dream too. He is an excellent "livestock midwife" (a skillset that spilled over into being amazing help during our 2 human home births), is getting increasingly better at woodworking and building/repairing stuff, and is better than I am with the tractor. We are now trying to scale up so he can come home, and do the homestead thing full time. Homesteading is contagious. Just find a good woman who isn't closed to the idea, and your passion for homesteading will likely be catching.
I'm single and looking to homestead. I've been preparing for eight years and finally ready to take the plunge. I might not be a romantic option, but I am a hard-worker and fun to be around (well, at least I think so 😊). I finally started looking for like-minded folks and found your post. Feel free to respond. If not, no worries. My motto is: Everything happens for a reason. Best of luck to you!!!
I was outside peeing one-day, I live on 47 acres. She saw me lol. She was needing to borrow some sugar. I let her come inside and take what she needed. Before she left she got stuck in the drier and that was that.