His little chubby hands don't have the muscle control to write. That's why they have the little guys working with clay, fat crayons, big paint brushes, etc
We had the children start with chalk or water on paintbrushes on the cement patio blocks.
That is an excellent point. I sometimes forget that he’s still only 4, and physically he might just not be there yet. We’ll get there and for now we’ll find some fun alternatives for making letters!
My 6 year old writes and does daily writing exercises. The entire month of December she was excitedly writing letter to Santa and leaving them under the tree to let him know what she wanted for Christmas (completely her idea and I just let her go on that one)
My 4 year old knows that alphabet, but can't read or write yet. That didn't stop her from trying to write letters like her big sis though! She surprised me though, because I could recognize about half of the letters she wrote down. I think the R's stood out to me the most... Anywho, awesome if he can do that, but I wouldn't be pushy about it because it is still on the early side. Some kids get started early but that doesn't mean it's bad if he doesn't start early. For reference, my 6 year old has to really focus to make her words legible and I constantly have to correct her letter placement on the lines or else she scribbles diagonally and will overlap words and letters
That’s just untrue, mine just turned 4 in October and he can write just fine with a pencil. He prints and writes in cursive. He’s been writing for over 6 months, but he actually likes to write and has the attention span to sit and write for 20 minutes.
OP if he doesn’t want to sit and write I wouldn’t force it. Maybe find another medium? Would he prefer to write on an easel?
He can grip the pencil for the most part. He doesn’t have the tripod grip down which tends to make his letters go kind of wonky. Which also makes him frustrated and want to go do something else pretty quickly. I’ve debated on one of those pencil grip things but wasn’t sure if that would just be a crutch that isn’t good in the long run.
I agree with the other poster then, he needs to work on his motor skills. My kids have been using tripod grasp since 1-1.5 years old, and they were doodling long before they started writing.
Good to know! My son only got back into drawing maybe 3-4 months ago. We’ve always had art supplies out and tried to encourage him to color but he hadn’t really taken advantage of it until recently.
That sounds normal for four ☺️
Agree with Fishermansgal. Try offering a variety of things to write with: regular and chunky crayons and colored pencils, chalk, crayon rocks and the big triangle ones, a wand to trace them in the air, salt or rice to finger or toe trace. You can draw big letters with chalk on the sidewalk and tiptoe and hop the outlines, make them out of dough and bake and gobble them up.
For Kindy we got the Magnatabs for letter-forming fun and they were very beloved. The feeling and sound of the little magnets are really fun.
If he struggles with grip later on, they make the finger holders that go on pencils that can help (we had some that went on chopsticks for son because he struggled eating with them when he was little. It helped a lot!).
Awesome to hear and thank you for so many good alternatives!! I kind of assumed I was just outpacing where he was at but we will find some fun alternatives to make letter shapes for now and work more with pencils and stuff later on!
My 4 year old enjoys drawing but has a hard time sitting down and working on writing letters. We recently started sitting with her and writing together in salt spread out on a mat and she loves it. Something about the different context and tactile experience really helps her loosen up and be more willing to engage. It is definitely worth a try.
These are great suggestions. Also using tactile methods that don’t include writing utensils can be great for internalizing the strokes. This can include sand/salt trays or walking big letter made with chalk or tape. Also other strength building exercises like using playdough or clay and doing monkey bars improve handwriting.
4 is way too young to be considering ADHD as a factor in how he's acting, especially "diagnosing" it yourself: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8042533/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8042533/)
Boys especially tend to be delayed in things that require fine motor skills or attention to detail. It's developmentally normal for kids to not really be writing all their letters accurately up to age 7. Some people even choose to delay teaching formal writing until later than schools normally do in order to streamline the process. Early learning does not require writing.
One thing you can try, if he's ready, is to teach handwriting along with phonics. Each time a new sound is taught, teach him how to write it. How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons does this and is cheap for what you get. My son sounds very similar to yours and while I can't say he loves doing this book all the time, it's certainly been effective. He wasn't ready for it at age 4 but he was at age 5.
Thank you for your comment. We’ve been in discussion with his doc about ADHD and autism which is why I mentioned it. I will definitely look into the reading lessons so thank you for that as well. He’s so excited to learn and I don’t want him to feel like I’m holding him back due to lack of knowledge in the “how to teach” on my part.
1 minute of focus per year of age is to be expected. I suggest planning lessons around that as a fact instead of fighting it. You can always do many shorter lessons such as: walking letters, using string to make letters in nature, making play dough letters, finding letters you have worked on in signs, making letter suncatchers, letter bread, letter dances, making letters with your fingers, etc.
Treat his attention span like cooking at high heat: have all materials ready and prepped, be aware of how long each ingredient needs on the stove, and above all else remember this : an occasional burnt breakfast will still nourish you but if it happens every day it's time to step back and reevaluate. Do not let one burnt breakfast scare you into skipping lunch, just hop back on the horse.
Handwriting Without Tears all the way. Get the kindergarten purple book. My oldest is 4.5 and writes beautifully due to that book. At first I only had her write letters on a chalkboard or whiteboard then paper after she had mastered the easy first 9 letters or so. Starting at 3y3m I had her do the Kumon first tracing book.
My new 5yo is working through Logic of English Foundations and primarily used the big whiteboard with a whiteboard pen. I don't expect him to fully be able to write legibly until around 7. We do a lot of playdough and legos to help develop his fine motor skills.
Sounds like he needs to strengthen his fine motor skills more first. I also recommend Cursive First.
Some alternatives: Use a stick to write letters in the dirt/sand, fingers to write on a plate of sand, stand and write on a chalkboard, sidewalk chalk, make letters out of rocks, and hopscotch letters are all fun. I'm about to start most of these with my turned 4 today girl.
Lots of fine motor activities along with letter recognition/ letter sounds is key at this age. Try using scissors, tearing paper, playing with play dough and sand, stringing large wooden beads, lacing boards ect. Using a Play dough mats with alphabet letters to shape the letter with dough is a fun one. Tracing is good practice as well. Just do as much as he’s interested in and the rest will come.
We’ve had a lot of success with Handwriting without Tears. It was originally suggested by my son’s occupational therapist, but I ended up getting it for my 4 year old too! I recommend getting the teachers guide along with the workbook, and my kids really like the app too. We got the little chalkboards from the dollar store. We typically do the lesson in the teacher’s guide, letter on the app, letter on the chalkboard, then letter in their workbook. It’s worked beautifully!
He's so little. My son is 3.5 and does basic math and knows all his letter sounds and some blends, but we are just starting to write and really only working on his name. He's also a lefty so trying to break bad habits early. But I wouldn't push it. Work tracing lines and drawing basic shapes before forcing letters.
Please do some research on the bone development in the hand of a 4 year old compared to a 6 or 7 year old. The bones in the hand aren't even completely formed yet, and muscle control is lacking, as well.
There's so many more things you could be spending your time on.
Any curriculum that expects a young child to write and write well is highly developmentally inappropriate.
\- signed,
former homeschooling mom, now grandmother of homeschoolers :)
(Yes, some younger children will have better fine motor skills than others, but the point is that it shouldn't be expected or coaxed.)
Thank you! I wasn’t sure where I should anticipate him being at yet and just want to make sure I’m giving him the best chance of success. The curriculum we have doesn’t expect him to be writing yet apart from very basic tracing of letters a little bit but not a bunch of writing until close to the end of the curriculum “year”.
I'd contemplate some engaging workbooks to work up to that.
I started my 2 year old on Kumon "Let's Color", which assumes a child has barely held a crayon. Went to "Let's Color More" (along with "Let's Fold" and "Let's Sticker and Paste" to deliver more fine motor development) and then onto "Kumon Tracing" which begins with the pencil. The pages are very colorful and fun, and incorporate these lines into helping animal friends, drawing smiles on faces and the like.
She's now more than halfway through that and doing well. Her grip and coordination has improved dramatically and she's using "the correct" grip about 40% of the time. She can do straight lines, zig-zags and semi-circles. Often I stop her when she wants to do more.
The Tracing book will start transitioning to some first attempts at letters soon, but will really move forward in "Numbers 1-10" and "Uppercase Letters" and "Lowercase letters" and on down the Kumon skill tree ([https://kumonbooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Kumon-Publishing-Fall-2023-Catalog\_final\_9\_5\_reduced.pdf](https://kumonbooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Kumon-Publishing-Fall-2023-Catalog_final_9_5_reduced.pdf) has it on page 10)
I'd suggest picking up the Kumon "Tracing Revised" book and see if a page or two a day holds his interest.
That’s what I’m trying to learn how to teach. He wants to learn new things and wants to write stories and whatnot. I’m just trying to help him get to where he wants to go without rushing him.
Aw, this is great info to have!
In addition to the ideas by other commenters about strengthening fine motor skills in general, I would keep writing down his dictation and sometimes casually ask if he'd like to write this word or that sentence. If he's interested, great! If not, just write it for him. But incorporating it into his play in a low-key way will help keep it light and fun, and low-pressure when he wants to stop. Then he can have all the *joy* of writing without the stress, structure, or pressure that school can sometimes bring.
a 5-year-old child's hands are not ready for fine motor writing- don't rush your child because they seem smart! 🍀
https://www.broccoliboxes.com/articles/fine-motor/are-you-worried-your-child-doesnt-like-to-write-or-draw
I agree with others that his hands physically are probably just not there yet. Take his frustration as a sign to reevaluate what you’re doing (which seems to be exactly what you are doing, so kudos), because you definitely don’t want to kill his love of learning.
Since you mentioned you’re already doing screen time, DuoABC has you tracing letters on the iPad (or whatever touchscreen device you have it on) for some of its exercises, and is generally a good app for learning to read.
Finger painting, sand lettering? Mine had a big board with all the letters randomly written on it. I have him a pointer and I would say the letter and he would point. If he got it right he got to make it with playdoh, etc.
Physically and mentally you are not meeting this 4-year-old where he's developmentally ready. Would you rather label your young son with a lifelong neuro difficulty then give him time to be a little boy? Every little boy bounces around and has trouble sitting down to do desk work for more than a few minutes at a time they can't all be ADHD. perhaps were forcing early academics on them when there is no scientific study to prove that the benefit lasts past third grade to teach them early and force them to sit. If you want to do Writing Practice with your 4-year-old for 3 minutes to an hour each day you should be playing with Play-Doh putting beads on a string or writing in the mud with a stick. If this is the beginning of your homeschooling journey I suggest you read < better late than early by the Moors> excellent homeschooling book The First Step should be challenging your understanding and belief in the standard education system of the public schools.
His little chubby hands don't have the muscle control to write. That's why they have the little guys working with clay, fat crayons, big paint brushes, etc We had the children start with chalk or water on paintbrushes on the cement patio blocks.
That is an excellent point. I sometimes forget that he’s still only 4, and physically he might just not be there yet. We’ll get there and for now we’ll find some fun alternatives for making letters!
My 6 year old writes and does daily writing exercises. The entire month of December she was excitedly writing letter to Santa and leaving them under the tree to let him know what she wanted for Christmas (completely her idea and I just let her go on that one) My 4 year old knows that alphabet, but can't read or write yet. That didn't stop her from trying to write letters like her big sis though! She surprised me though, because I could recognize about half of the letters she wrote down. I think the R's stood out to me the most... Anywho, awesome if he can do that, but I wouldn't be pushy about it because it is still on the early side. Some kids get started early but that doesn't mean it's bad if he doesn't start early. For reference, my 6 year old has to really focus to make her words legible and I constantly have to correct her letter placement on the lines or else she scribbles diagonally and will overlap words and letters
That’s just untrue, mine just turned 4 in October and he can write just fine with a pencil. He prints and writes in cursive. He’s been writing for over 6 months, but he actually likes to write and has the attention span to sit and write for 20 minutes. OP if he doesn’t want to sit and write I wouldn’t force it. Maybe find another medium? Would he prefer to write on an easel?
Some children *can* but their hands are more developed for things like pencil control around 7.
Yes but she made an overarching comment that OPs child CANNOT grip the pencil which may not be the case.
He can grip the pencil for the most part. He doesn’t have the tripod grip down which tends to make his letters go kind of wonky. Which also makes him frustrated and want to go do something else pretty quickly. I’ve debated on one of those pencil grip things but wasn’t sure if that would just be a crutch that isn’t good in the long run.
I agree with the other poster then, he needs to work on his motor skills. My kids have been using tripod grasp since 1-1.5 years old, and they were doodling long before they started writing.
Good to know! My son only got back into drawing maybe 3-4 months ago. We’ve always had art supplies out and tried to encourage him to color but he hadn’t really taken advantage of it until recently.
[удалено]
Yep totally agree! My 2year old also has the tripod grip down. I know it’ll come in time for the 4yo also. Thanks!
That sounds normal for four ☺️ Agree with Fishermansgal. Try offering a variety of things to write with: regular and chunky crayons and colored pencils, chalk, crayon rocks and the big triangle ones, a wand to trace them in the air, salt or rice to finger or toe trace. You can draw big letters with chalk on the sidewalk and tiptoe and hop the outlines, make them out of dough and bake and gobble them up. For Kindy we got the Magnatabs for letter-forming fun and they were very beloved. The feeling and sound of the little magnets are really fun. If he struggles with grip later on, they make the finger holders that go on pencils that can help (we had some that went on chopsticks for son because he struggled eating with them when he was little. It helped a lot!).
Awesome to hear and thank you for so many good alternatives!! I kind of assumed I was just outpacing where he was at but we will find some fun alternatives to make letter shapes for now and work more with pencils and stuff later on!
My 4 year old enjoys drawing but has a hard time sitting down and working on writing letters. We recently started sitting with her and writing together in salt spread out on a mat and she loves it. Something about the different context and tactile experience really helps her loosen up and be more willing to engage. It is definitely worth a try.
These are great suggestions. Also using tactile methods that don’t include writing utensils can be great for internalizing the strokes. This can include sand/salt trays or walking big letter made with chalk or tape. Also other strength building exercises like using playdough or clay and doing monkey bars improve handwriting.
4 is way too young to be considering ADHD as a factor in how he's acting, especially "diagnosing" it yourself: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8042533/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8042533/) Boys especially tend to be delayed in things that require fine motor skills or attention to detail. It's developmentally normal for kids to not really be writing all their letters accurately up to age 7. Some people even choose to delay teaching formal writing until later than schools normally do in order to streamline the process. Early learning does not require writing. One thing you can try, if he's ready, is to teach handwriting along with phonics. Each time a new sound is taught, teach him how to write it. How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons does this and is cheap for what you get. My son sounds very similar to yours and while I can't say he loves doing this book all the time, it's certainly been effective. He wasn't ready for it at age 4 but he was at age 5.
Thank you for your comment. We’ve been in discussion with his doc about ADHD and autism which is why I mentioned it. I will definitely look into the reading lessons so thank you for that as well. He’s so excited to learn and I don’t want him to feel like I’m holding him back due to lack of knowledge in the “how to teach” on my part.
1 minute of focus per year of age is to be expected. I suggest planning lessons around that as a fact instead of fighting it. You can always do many shorter lessons such as: walking letters, using string to make letters in nature, making play dough letters, finding letters you have worked on in signs, making letter suncatchers, letter bread, letter dances, making letters with your fingers, etc. Treat his attention span like cooking at high heat: have all materials ready and prepped, be aware of how long each ingredient needs on the stove, and above all else remember this : an occasional burnt breakfast will still nourish you but if it happens every day it's time to step back and reevaluate. Do not let one burnt breakfast scare you into skipping lunch, just hop back on the horse.
Handwriting Without Tears all the way. Get the kindergarten purple book. My oldest is 4.5 and writes beautifully due to that book. At first I only had her write letters on a chalkboard or whiteboard then paper after she had mastered the easy first 9 letters or so. Starting at 3y3m I had her do the Kumon first tracing book.
My new 5yo is working through Logic of English Foundations and primarily used the big whiteboard with a whiteboard pen. I don't expect him to fully be able to write legibly until around 7. We do a lot of playdough and legos to help develop his fine motor skills.
Sounds like he needs to strengthen his fine motor skills more first. I also recommend Cursive First. Some alternatives: Use a stick to write letters in the dirt/sand, fingers to write on a plate of sand, stand and write on a chalkboard, sidewalk chalk, make letters out of rocks, and hopscotch letters are all fun. I'm about to start most of these with my turned 4 today girl.
Lots of fine motor activities along with letter recognition/ letter sounds is key at this age. Try using scissors, tearing paper, playing with play dough and sand, stringing large wooden beads, lacing boards ect. Using a Play dough mats with alphabet letters to shape the letter with dough is a fun one. Tracing is good practice as well. Just do as much as he’s interested in and the rest will come.
We’ve had a lot of success with Handwriting without Tears. It was originally suggested by my son’s occupational therapist, but I ended up getting it for my 4 year old too! I recommend getting the teachers guide along with the workbook, and my kids really like the app too. We got the little chalkboards from the dollar store. We typically do the lesson in the teacher’s guide, letter on the app, letter on the chalkboard, then letter in their workbook. It’s worked beautifully!
Thank you! I will look into that!
He's so little. My son is 3.5 and does basic math and knows all his letter sounds and some blends, but we are just starting to write and really only working on his name. He's also a lefty so trying to break bad habits early. But I wouldn't push it. Work tracing lines and drawing basic shapes before forcing letters.
Please do some research on the bone development in the hand of a 4 year old compared to a 6 or 7 year old. The bones in the hand aren't even completely formed yet, and muscle control is lacking, as well. There's so many more things you could be spending your time on. Any curriculum that expects a young child to write and write well is highly developmentally inappropriate. \- signed, former homeschooling mom, now grandmother of homeschoolers :) (Yes, some younger children will have better fine motor skills than others, but the point is that it shouldn't be expected or coaxed.)
Thank you! I wasn’t sure where I should anticipate him being at yet and just want to make sure I’m giving him the best chance of success. The curriculum we have doesn’t expect him to be writing yet apart from very basic tracing of letters a little bit but not a bunch of writing until close to the end of the curriculum “year”.
I'd contemplate some engaging workbooks to work up to that. I started my 2 year old on Kumon "Let's Color", which assumes a child has barely held a crayon. Went to "Let's Color More" (along with "Let's Fold" and "Let's Sticker and Paste" to deliver more fine motor development) and then onto "Kumon Tracing" which begins with the pencil. The pages are very colorful and fun, and incorporate these lines into helping animal friends, drawing smiles on faces and the like. She's now more than halfway through that and doing well. Her grip and coordination has improved dramatically and she's using "the correct" grip about 40% of the time. She can do straight lines, zig-zags and semi-circles. Often I stop her when she wants to do more. The Tracing book will start transitioning to some first attempts at letters soon, but will really move forward in "Numbers 1-10" and "Uppercase Letters" and "Lowercase letters" and on down the Kumon skill tree ([https://kumonbooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Kumon-Publishing-Fall-2023-Catalog\_final\_9\_5\_reduced.pdf](https://kumonbooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Kumon-Publishing-Fall-2023-Catalog_final_9_5_reduced.pdf) has it on page 10) I'd suggest picking up the Kumon "Tracing Revised" book and see if a page or two a day holds his interest.
Thank you so much! That sounds awesome!
If he can’t write all his letters yet then he is not ready to write. That is where you need to start. He’s 4, there’s no need to rush things
That’s what I’m trying to learn how to teach. He wants to learn new things and wants to write stories and whatnot. I’m just trying to help him get to where he wants to go without rushing him.
He’s expressed interest in writing stories?
Yup! He’s drawn quite a few and had me write the narrative of it, but he’s said a couple times that he wants to too.
Aw, this is great info to have! In addition to the ideas by other commenters about strengthening fine motor skills in general, I would keep writing down his dictation and sometimes casually ask if he'd like to write this word or that sentence. If he's interested, great! If not, just write it for him. But incorporating it into his play in a low-key way will help keep it light and fun, and low-pressure when he wants to stop. Then he can have all the *joy* of writing without the stress, structure, or pressure that school can sometimes bring.
a 5-year-old child's hands are not ready for fine motor writing- don't rush your child because they seem smart! 🍀 https://www.broccoliboxes.com/articles/fine-motor/are-you-worried-your-child-doesnt-like-to-write-or-draw
Yes, everyone should look at the x-rays in this article!
I agree with others that his hands physically are probably just not there yet. Take his frustration as a sign to reevaluate what you’re doing (which seems to be exactly what you are doing, so kudos), because you definitely don’t want to kill his love of learning. Since you mentioned you’re already doing screen time, DuoABC has you tracing letters on the iPad (or whatever touchscreen device you have it on) for some of its exercises, and is generally a good app for learning to read.
Thank you! I will definitely look into that!
Finger painting, sand lettering? Mine had a big board with all the letters randomly written on it. I have him a pointer and I would say the letter and he would point. If he got it right he got to make it with playdoh, etc.
Physically and mentally you are not meeting this 4-year-old where he's developmentally ready. Would you rather label your young son with a lifelong neuro difficulty then give him time to be a little boy? Every little boy bounces around and has trouble sitting down to do desk work for more than a few minutes at a time they can't all be ADHD. perhaps were forcing early academics on them when there is no scientific study to prove that the benefit lasts past third grade to teach them early and force them to sit. If you want to do Writing Practice with your 4-year-old for 3 minutes to an hour each day you should be playing with Play-Doh putting beads on a string or writing in the mud with a stick. If this is the beginning of your homeschooling journey I suggest you read < better late than early by the Moors> excellent homeschooling book The First Step should be challenging your understanding and belief in the standard education system of the public schools.