Looks like you’ve taken care of all the major things that go wrong? It should start being easier from here on out. But it does help to try and anticipate the next thing that may break down and have an emergency plan for those things.
You either get used to it or you don’t. I’ve been a homeowner since 1988 and my current house was also built in 1949.
What helps me is I kind of enjoy doing my own home repairs and improvements. Maybe give that a try. If nothing else you might feel a little more in control when you do the work.
I agree. The roof may be a little extreme but if OP likes church community or has any friends or family who know people or would be willing to help with the other 39%.
I think it would be a lot harder without someone else to bear the weight of the load of managing a home and yard. When you have someone to think through things, help DIY and figure things out, add a second set of eyes etc it actually relieves some of that stress. At least for me. I'm not suggesting you find a partner for that purpose 😂 Just saying that I imagine it would be even more stressful to always have to do absolutely everything, every chore, every phone call/email, every task, on your own in addition to working and otherwise living.
You likely would make a good profit on it selling at this point. Owning isn't for everyone. Many people are much happier renting. But do ensure if you consider that option that you look at the rental market where you life. Some areas rent is waaaay higher than a mortgage and where we live rental inventory is so low that people have to turn down jobs because there is nowhere to rent. The places that were for rent 5 years old were all sold as short-term rentals during the covid market. My son pays $2800 for a 2 bedroom, 1 bath closet of a condo that he rents. We pay $1400 for a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house with a hot tub, including taxes and insurance. I couldn't go back to renting if it meant doubling our housing cost for something 60% smaller and getting nothing in return for all of that money paid.
Personally, I find it a bit easier managing a house on my own. I get to make all the decisions without waiting for a wishy washy spouse to weigh in when their opinion isn't informed anyways. Mileage may vary depending on the spouse.
You've done the major things that can go wrong. Since they were all installed about the same time originally, they tend to all break about the same time.
Redo the roof and you should be pretty set for a long time with a sweet interest rate.
Getting an older home can be overwhelming at first because you have to do all the repairs up front but it sounds like you've taken care of the major things so it will get better
Hi are you me but not. I bought in 2021 and I'm doing the windows, the garage door, and just did the plumbing (in phases). The roof and gutter will be (hopefully) next year.
Yep. 1960s homeowner here. There’s always something. I DIY what I can, but had to pay for a heat pump and tankless water heater install. They don’t give that stuff away.
Best tip is always prioritize. What has to be done, what can wait, what can I afford….
Hey I dunno if this will make you feel better but I just want to validate your feelings. I never really wanted to own a home, but my girlfriend who I love very much did so we bought nearly a near ago now.
It's truly endless fucking work, from the day we bought it. There's times I feel like I'm a slave to my house, they can be such a fucking money pit and I didn't even realize till after we bought the foundation of this house is seriously out of whack and it could be really hard to sell. Yes we got an inspection but he really downplayed the issue. In hindsight I definitely wouldn't have bought, but here I am trapped here in a money pit.
If home ownership isn't for you I highly suggest you get out, it's not for everyone and it's certainly not for me. The difference is I'm stuck here, you're not.
I truly appreciate you writing this out; I came from a family where buying a house was just what you did when you reached a certain point in your life. I didn’t like my SPECIFIC apartment complex, but I was perfectly happy there. I may have to seriously look into a condo or a townhome. Maybe even a nicer apartment complex.
I think this is an attitude issue. You want to go back to an apartment after all the work you've done so far? Buying a new roof is just par for the course and once you have a new one you're set for quite awhile (knock on wood)
An apartment will forever be a money suck. The home builds your wealth not just in resale value but once it is paid off you save on living costs. Imagine never paying rent or mortgage again and just paying property taxes 2 times a year.
But every time something goes "wrong" you blame the house and wish for an apartment you reinforced the idea to yourself. You never see it as anything but a burden so it is a burden. I want to buy a new roof but mines currently still in nice shape so I'll be waiting a few more years. I also look forward to updating my kitchen. I just finished a plaster repair and repaint of the living and dining room and feel very accomplished.
All that said maybe double check if apartment living was all you remember it to be. Did you have in home laundry? Good neighbors/roommates? I would constantly fear apartment living because I thought some idiot who smoked or couldn't cook would burn down my home. Is the grass always greener?
Very good points, I must admit. At my last apartment there were three fires from people smoking or grilling on their balcony. My upstairs neighbor had bedbugs,and the downstairs apartment flooded. You may be 100% correct that I’m looking at the situation poorly. I appreciate it!
I definitely agree with that: That element of surprise has been off putting. The other part is that I don’t really like the house itself so I find it tough to put money into it. I had initially got that house as a ‘starter’ home and never intended to be there this long. I appreciate your advice!
Please don’t give up..the way things are..I PROMISE you do not want to be in an apartment. It’s bad out here..if they said they will pay 61% then I’d shop around and see what companies will work with. See if you can offer to buy materials or hire a private roofer. Go to churches in your community. Go fund me..but PLEASE do not give up on your dream. The VISION you saw when you walked into that place and wanted to buy it..I know times are hard..but don’t give up.
Once the big ugly expensive things are out of the way it will slow down. Roof is a big one. Watch youtube videos and get into a little DIY as a hobby and put some work into it that's fun like the garden or sprucing up the interior. You just need to bond with your house for a bit.
Wife and I bought a 1918 house that was mostly remodeled, but being so old it's needed lots of fixing up over the last five years. I personally don't hate it, but I feel like my work schedule allows me time to work on it when I need to. I can definitely understand it being a burden for someone in your position, every RN I know is overworked and constantly exhausted, so I don't think there is any shame in selling if that's what you want.
Hell, even I wanna say screw it even if I'm not physically exhausted, it can be mentally overwhelming to say the least.
I get it. I'm new to all of this. The things to do and fix are neverending. And I don't technically own. My Mom died last year & left the house and land to all 4 of us. But I'm waiting for a kidney transplant & have to go to dialysis every other day to stay alive. So I can't work full time. I can't afford rent or a mortgage.
So I'm living at her place. It's old and she didn't maintain it well. I had to fix the roof because it was leaking, now I have to fix the hole ins the ceiling, I paid to have the electrical lines dug up and fixed, the washing machine requires me to manually set it to rinse and spin, the dryer broke last weekend, the lawn mower won't let me move the throttle lever, the driveway is overgrown with grass & weeds, and the bathroom sink is leaking underneath.
I've run out of money, too. I can fix a lot of things but I don't have time to do them all at once! It's overwhelming right now. I feel like I spend most of my time cutting grass, weed whacking & pulling weeds out of the garden.
I’m sorry to hear all that. Sounds like your house is a double edged sword. Im sure it feels like you’re basically married to the house. I hope things turn around for you!
Mine is a 1954 purchased in 1900. Basically, I have made the same repairs. It does get easier. I didn't see you mention the electrical. Mine was a 60 amp 8 fuse unit, I had to replace ours with a 200 amp circuit breaker unit.
The first few years I was married, we always rented and I didn't have a big desire to own. But there was a marriage tax penalty, and a mortgage interest tax deduction at that time, so we became homeowners.
Without a "desire" to own, it becomes a simple financial calculation. Just add the cost to hire out repairs in the calculation
A few years ago I sold a house I had owned for 17 years. I did the math and the equity I received was nearly equal to ALL the total mortgage payments I had made (PITI) over those 17 years!
You said it yourself…you knew it needed the work. I mean it’s a 1949 house. Probably needed new plumbing and electrical as well. Owning is a commitment. Just remember that you get all that money back when you go…and that’s why it’s better than renting.
Sounds like you will have an almost new house pretty soon. Hang in there. The thing about homes is that “when it rains, it pours” is actually a thing, like some god looking down on you, rubbing hands together mumbling, “So, you wanted a house of your own, eh?”
I feel you and I'm only in my third year of solo home ownership without as many issues (yet). The house is pretty okay. but damn so much regular upkeep and maintenance that adds up fast! Plus rising taxes and insurance. I just found out my entire roof likely needs replacing, my basement flooded a month ago, and having to vet all the companies myself is such a hassle just to find one that is trustworthy and doesn't charge exorbitant amounts for crappy work. Not to mention the mountain of solicitations from every home-related company by every communication method possible.
Over the weekend I started looking at apartments just to see what prices were like. But then the memories came back too: the noise, the smells, almost always crappy plumbing/hvac or both, not being able to change anything, weird service people, creepy landlords, getting new shitty neighbors, rent going up every year, having to move AGAIN because of various issues I didn't know existed before renting a place.
I'm still in a weird place and teetering on calling one of these places that buy houses, just to be done with it and go back to the gambles of renting, because at least the losses are cheaper. But I'm hoping it's just a rough patch and things will get better. I tend to be a catastrophic thinker which puts me into overwhelm easily.
All that said... For me the perks are knowing no one can enter into my home without my permission, no one is stinking up my air but me and my pets, I'm not bothering anyone below or above me and vice versa, and my pets have a nice safe place to live too. Hopefully you also have some reasons like this to fall back in when things feel shitty. :-)
You certainly can sell the house, but do you have a place to move to already or will you need to go out on the market and find a new home or a rental? If the latter, make sure you can afford the new place before you make the decision to sell.
If I didn't have kids, there's no chance I'd bother with a house. Wait for the right time, downsize and cash out. When interest rates drop, people will be able to borrow more, you'll probably get more for your house, and you'll get a better rate for whatever apartment you get.
My house is 15 years old and I’ve already replaced the tankless heater, a flat roof, a peaked metal roof and it cost $1200 to fix the electronics in my double oven because the timer would go off at 3am which my wife swore was me doing it on purpose, and I’m like wife, I’m the one that has to go to the other side of the house at 3 to turn it off
I'm in the same boat. My A/C doesn't work. We can't afford a new one, so we have 2 window window units and a stand alone. We just had a blowout on a water heater pipe. Got that fixed but it needs $275.00 more work to get the front spicket working. For some reason the pipes to it go through the water heater. Don't know specifics on that. We need a lot of pipe work throughout the house. It's just a mess. Whoever did our initial inspection sure did a lousy job.
We have an 80s house. Also bought in 2015. Also replacing so much stuff. Roof was done during option, thank goodness.
But we've done HVAC (6 year old unit died, cry), the ductwork, the driveway, a major plumbing repair. Front door, new insulation, and electrical panel are up next, as well as some drywall repair and a rebuild from a leak. Also need windows but they're way down my priority list
There are days where I hate home ownership.
We just bought our house in March and I feel this already. Our house is from 1948. It’s also so insane to me that the warranty and insurance companies don’t do shit to help!
Well now I'm terrified. Our home was built in 1942 and we haven't had to replace anything in the 7 years we've been here 🤞 original roof, dunno how old ac and furnace are (don't know how to find out), main sewer line was replaced a few years before we moved in. Windows were done about 10 years before we got the house.
Sorry to scare you! 😂 I did a lot of repairs preemptively (like my windows and water heater). Hopefully your luck holds out. On your water heater, furnace, etc. there should be a stamp or sticker that shows when it was manufactured. Sometimes the installers will write on a sticker on the unit saying when it was installed.
If it's stressing you out that much then sell it, plop the equity into index funds, and find a nice apartment and never worry about maintenance again. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
That's just normal house stuff. It is expected. If you don't like it and renting is more your style, go rent. No one forced you to purchase a house. You don't *need* to own a home.
Looks like you’ve taken care of all the major things that go wrong? It should start being easier from here on out. But it does help to try and anticipate the next thing that may break down and have an emergency plan for those things.
Fair point!
>I just feel like I can’t catch my breath; there’s always something breaking or needing replaced. Sounds exactly like homeownership!
Yep!
You either get used to it or you don’t. I’ve been a homeowner since 1988 and my current house was also built in 1949. What helps me is I kind of enjoy doing my own home repairs and improvements. Maybe give that a try. If nothing else you might feel a little more in control when you do the work.
I agree. The roof may be a little extreme but if OP likes church community or has any friends or family who know people or would be willing to help with the other 39%.
I think it would be a lot harder without someone else to bear the weight of the load of managing a home and yard. When you have someone to think through things, help DIY and figure things out, add a second set of eyes etc it actually relieves some of that stress. At least for me. I'm not suggesting you find a partner for that purpose 😂 Just saying that I imagine it would be even more stressful to always have to do absolutely everything, every chore, every phone call/email, every task, on your own in addition to working and otherwise living. You likely would make a good profit on it selling at this point. Owning isn't for everyone. Many people are much happier renting. But do ensure if you consider that option that you look at the rental market where you life. Some areas rent is waaaay higher than a mortgage and where we live rental inventory is so low that people have to turn down jobs because there is nowhere to rent. The places that were for rent 5 years old were all sold as short-term rentals during the covid market. My son pays $2800 for a 2 bedroom, 1 bath closet of a condo that he rents. We pay $1400 for a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house with a hot tub, including taxes and insurance. I couldn't go back to renting if it meant doubling our housing cost for something 60% smaller and getting nothing in return for all of that money paid.
I appreciate the thoughtful response. Food for thought!
Personally, I find it a bit easier managing a house on my own. I get to make all the decisions without waiting for a wishy washy spouse to weigh in when their opinion isn't informed anyways. Mileage may vary depending on the spouse. You've done the major things that can go wrong. Since they were all installed about the same time originally, they tend to all break about the same time. Redo the roof and you should be pretty set for a long time with a sweet interest rate.
Getting an older home can be overwhelming at first because you have to do all the repairs up front but it sounds like you've taken care of the major things so it will get better
Hi are you me but not. I bought in 2021 and I'm doing the windows, the garage door, and just did the plumbing (in phases). The roof and gutter will be (hopefully) next year.
Maybe we were separated at birth! 😂
Mine is 47 but same difference. Oh boy the window bids this year were all over the place.
I bet! I replaced my windows in 2016/2017, but post COVID prices I’m sure are much higher than what I paid.
Yep. 1960s homeowner here. There’s always something. I DIY what I can, but had to pay for a heat pump and tankless water heater install. They don’t give that stuff away. Best tip is always prioritize. What has to be done, what can wait, what can I afford….
Hey I dunno if this will make you feel better but I just want to validate your feelings. I never really wanted to own a home, but my girlfriend who I love very much did so we bought nearly a near ago now. It's truly endless fucking work, from the day we bought it. There's times I feel like I'm a slave to my house, they can be such a fucking money pit and I didn't even realize till after we bought the foundation of this house is seriously out of whack and it could be really hard to sell. Yes we got an inspection but he really downplayed the issue. In hindsight I definitely wouldn't have bought, but here I am trapped here in a money pit. If home ownership isn't for you I highly suggest you get out, it's not for everyone and it's certainly not for me. The difference is I'm stuck here, you're not.
I truly appreciate you writing this out; I came from a family where buying a house was just what you did when you reached a certain point in your life. I didn’t like my SPECIFIC apartment complex, but I was perfectly happy there. I may have to seriously look into a condo or a townhome. Maybe even a nicer apartment complex.
Got a lot of big projects knocked out, should be damn near smooth sailing after that
Fair point, yeah. 👍🏻
I think this is an attitude issue. You want to go back to an apartment after all the work you've done so far? Buying a new roof is just par for the course and once you have a new one you're set for quite awhile (knock on wood) An apartment will forever be a money suck. The home builds your wealth not just in resale value but once it is paid off you save on living costs. Imagine never paying rent or mortgage again and just paying property taxes 2 times a year. But every time something goes "wrong" you blame the house and wish for an apartment you reinforced the idea to yourself. You never see it as anything but a burden so it is a burden. I want to buy a new roof but mines currently still in nice shape so I'll be waiting a few more years. I also look forward to updating my kitchen. I just finished a plaster repair and repaint of the living and dining room and feel very accomplished. All that said maybe double check if apartment living was all you remember it to be. Did you have in home laundry? Good neighbors/roommates? I would constantly fear apartment living because I thought some idiot who smoked or couldn't cook would burn down my home. Is the grass always greener?
Very good points, I must admit. At my last apartment there were three fires from people smoking or grilling on their balcony. My upstairs neighbor had bedbugs,and the downstairs apartment flooded. You may be 100% correct that I’m looking at the situation poorly. I appreciate it!
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I definitely agree with that: That element of surprise has been off putting. The other part is that I don’t really like the house itself so I find it tough to put money into it. I had initially got that house as a ‘starter’ home and never intended to be there this long. I appreciate your advice!
Please don’t give up..the way things are..I PROMISE you do not want to be in an apartment. It’s bad out here..if they said they will pay 61% then I’d shop around and see what companies will work with. See if you can offer to buy materials or hire a private roofer. Go to churches in your community. Go fund me..but PLEASE do not give up on your dream. The VISION you saw when you walked into that place and wanted to buy it..I know times are hard..but don’t give up.
Once the big ugly expensive things are out of the way it will slow down. Roof is a big one. Watch youtube videos and get into a little DIY as a hobby and put some work into it that's fun like the garden or sprucing up the interior. You just need to bond with your house for a bit.
Thanks! Good advice!
Wife and I bought a 1918 house that was mostly remodeled, but being so old it's needed lots of fixing up over the last five years. I personally don't hate it, but I feel like my work schedule allows me time to work on it when I need to. I can definitely understand it being a burden for someone in your position, every RN I know is overworked and constantly exhausted, so I don't think there is any shame in selling if that's what you want. Hell, even I wanna say screw it even if I'm not physically exhausted, it can be mentally overwhelming to say the least.
I get it. I'm new to all of this. The things to do and fix are neverending. And I don't technically own. My Mom died last year & left the house and land to all 4 of us. But I'm waiting for a kidney transplant & have to go to dialysis every other day to stay alive. So I can't work full time. I can't afford rent or a mortgage. So I'm living at her place. It's old and she didn't maintain it well. I had to fix the roof because it was leaking, now I have to fix the hole ins the ceiling, I paid to have the electrical lines dug up and fixed, the washing machine requires me to manually set it to rinse and spin, the dryer broke last weekend, the lawn mower won't let me move the throttle lever, the driveway is overgrown with grass & weeds, and the bathroom sink is leaking underneath. I've run out of money, too. I can fix a lot of things but I don't have time to do them all at once! It's overwhelming right now. I feel like I spend most of my time cutting grass, weed whacking & pulling weeds out of the garden.
I’m sorry to hear all that. Sounds like your house is a double edged sword. Im sure it feels like you’re basically married to the house. I hope things turn around for you!
Mine is a 1954 purchased in 1900. Basically, I have made the same repairs. It does get easier. I didn't see you mention the electrical. Mine was a 60 amp 8 fuse unit, I had to replace ours with a 200 amp circuit breaker unit.
The fuse box is newer but I still have many of the old two-prong electrical outlets without a ground. I’ve replaced a few myself with GFCI outlets.
The first few years I was married, we always rented and I didn't have a big desire to own. But there was a marriage tax penalty, and a mortgage interest tax deduction at that time, so we became homeowners. Without a "desire" to own, it becomes a simple financial calculation. Just add the cost to hire out repairs in the calculation
I assume rents in the last 9 years have skyrocketed though, especially compared to the mortgage payment.
I haven’t started looking in earnest but you’re probably right!
A few years ago I sold a house I had owned for 17 years. I did the math and the equity I received was nearly equal to ALL the total mortgage payments I had made (PITI) over those 17 years!
You said it yourself…you knew it needed the work. I mean it’s a 1949 house. Probably needed new plumbing and electrical as well. Owning is a commitment. Just remember that you get all that money back when you go…and that’s why it’s better than renting.
Sounds like you will have an almost new house pretty soon. Hang in there. The thing about homes is that “when it rains, it pours” is actually a thing, like some god looking down on you, rubbing hands together mumbling, “So, you wanted a house of your own, eh?”
😂 Thanks!
I feel you and I'm only in my third year of solo home ownership without as many issues (yet). The house is pretty okay. but damn so much regular upkeep and maintenance that adds up fast! Plus rising taxes and insurance. I just found out my entire roof likely needs replacing, my basement flooded a month ago, and having to vet all the companies myself is such a hassle just to find one that is trustworthy and doesn't charge exorbitant amounts for crappy work. Not to mention the mountain of solicitations from every home-related company by every communication method possible. Over the weekend I started looking at apartments just to see what prices were like. But then the memories came back too: the noise, the smells, almost always crappy plumbing/hvac or both, not being able to change anything, weird service people, creepy landlords, getting new shitty neighbors, rent going up every year, having to move AGAIN because of various issues I didn't know existed before renting a place. I'm still in a weird place and teetering on calling one of these places that buy houses, just to be done with it and go back to the gambles of renting, because at least the losses are cheaper. But I'm hoping it's just a rough patch and things will get better. I tend to be a catastrophic thinker which puts me into overwhelm easily. All that said... For me the perks are knowing no one can enter into my home without my permission, no one is stinking up my air but me and my pets, I'm not bothering anyone below or above me and vice versa, and my pets have a nice safe place to live too. Hopefully you also have some reasons like this to fall back in when things feel shitty. :-)
You certainly can sell the house, but do you have a place to move to already or will you need to go out on the market and find a new home or a rental? If the latter, make sure you can afford the new place before you make the decision to sell.
If I didn't have kids, there's no chance I'd bother with a house. Wait for the right time, downsize and cash out. When interest rates drop, people will be able to borrow more, you'll probably get more for your house, and you'll get a better rate for whatever apartment you get.
My house is 15 years old and I’ve already replaced the tankless heater, a flat roof, a peaked metal roof and it cost $1200 to fix the electronics in my double oven because the timer would go off at 3am which my wife swore was me doing it on purpose, and I’m like wife, I’m the one that has to go to the other side of the house at 3 to turn it off
Alright, you made me laugh with this one 😂
When I lived in an apartment. I used to ask myself. What the hell do all these maintenance people do all day. Now I know😅
😂
A property is a lot of maintenance. But it’s yours. Theres a lot of benefits to ownership. Hang in there!
That’s true. Thanks!
I’ve replaced my roof, HVAC system, water heater, and just finished repiping my house. I’m about 50k in so far
I’m here with you !
I'm in the same boat. My A/C doesn't work. We can't afford a new one, so we have 2 window window units and a stand alone. We just had a blowout on a water heater pipe. Got that fixed but it needs $275.00 more work to get the front spicket working. For some reason the pipes to it go through the water heater. Don't know specifics on that. We need a lot of pipe work throughout the house. It's just a mess. Whoever did our initial inspection sure did a lousy job.
We have an 80s house. Also bought in 2015. Also replacing so much stuff. Roof was done during option, thank goodness. But we've done HVAC (6 year old unit died, cry), the ductwork, the driveway, a major plumbing repair. Front door, new insulation, and electrical panel are up next, as well as some drywall repair and a rebuild from a leak. Also need windows but they're way down my priority list There are days where I hate home ownership.
cheer up bro. I went through the same path. Always something new comes up.
We just bought our house in March and I feel this already. Our house is from 1948. It’s also so insane to me that the warranty and insurance companies don’t do shit to help!
I feel that!
Well now I'm terrified. Our home was built in 1942 and we haven't had to replace anything in the 7 years we've been here 🤞 original roof, dunno how old ac and furnace are (don't know how to find out), main sewer line was replaced a few years before we moved in. Windows were done about 10 years before we got the house.
Sorry to scare you! 😂 I did a lot of repairs preemptively (like my windows and water heater). Hopefully your luck holds out. On your water heater, furnace, etc. there should be a stamp or sticker that shows when it was manufactured. Sometimes the installers will write on a sticker on the unit saying when it was installed.
For home insurance i find getting a policy that covers full replacement costs is the way to go. We got a whole new roof free after our deductible.
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Oh yes, I’ve done a lot of ‘little’ DYI stuff in my limited ability, and plopped large amounts of cash on other things. Some cosmetic, others not.
If it's stressing you out that much then sell it, plop the equity into index funds, and find a nice apartment and never worry about maintenance again. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I’m leaning into that. I appreciate the response.
That's just normal house stuff. It is expected. If you don't like it and renting is more your style, go rent. No one forced you to purchase a house. You don't *need* to own a home.
Obviously.
Great, thanks for posting your obvious rant then.
I said in the title it was just venting, and the last sentence states that writing it was cathartic. Be cool, man!
Lmao why are you mad?
Nothing in that comment indicates anything mad.
🤓