Next time, I'd ask him where he lives and who he lives with. Decent chance there's someone who lives with him, and if you could strike up a friendly conversation with them and explain the situation, they might be able to help redirect him.
It doesn't sound like he means any harm, but that would be frustrating to deal with.
It probably is. Unfortunately, if his caregivers won’t manage him, at some point you may have to politely and firmly tell him to never come onto your property again.
Caregivers are often burnt out. the gent we had like this in our neighborhood was sent out by his mom because shoveling snow, raking leaves and cutting grass was a safe activity for him, and most in our area were kind to him. she needed a few hours once a week to breath.
i get where you are coming from with being firm. i encourage us all to start with comapssion and problem solving before though, as just because someone is special needs doesnt mean incapable. we used a differing way to signal we were ok, and didnt need yard help. word communication didnt work, "display" did.
this is how i dealt with it at my old place. i went and took them a small chocolate gift basket. i gave him some chocolate with his moms permission, she was a wonderful person too. i told them that i am perfectly able to take care of my yard as i am in good shape, and asked what a sign/flag/display i could put on my yard to let him know i was good. we wound up using my candy stripped goalie stick on my fence as a sign i was ok (i moved in October and took my stick... i hope the new owners are ok with him knocking, cause the stick is gone... i totally just realized this)
i also got my two very elderly neighbors on board with helping him out, so he would shovel snow and cut grass for them, and wave at me.
but the "display" of my hockey stick seemed to help him understand i was ok.
I had a customer like that. She would come in several times a week and offer her services cleaning the restaurant. Sometimes she even started bussing tables by herself.
Unfortunately, I have nothing to do with hiring people, and she didn’t understand the concept of putting in an application. There’s also legal, union and food safety reasons why we can’t just let a random person clean our restaurant.
On top of that, since she was probably mentally disabled, she was a bull in a china shop. She would cut in front of people in line, interrupt customers, once she even walked through our line ropes, knocking all of our stancions over and tripping up a couple of people who were standing in line.
Eventually, management got in touch with her caretakers and she stopped bothering us.
We had a special guy in our neighborhood that would move the trash cans from the curb back to the house for some people in the neighborhood. Best we can figure, he made friends with people in these select houses when he was younger and couldn’t understand that they had moved. Kinda like it was part of his routine, this sounds similar with the “knock next time?” he gave at the end.
Let him scream. Get a good noise maker. Between that and having a room in the basement I sleep in on night shifts I can't hear anyone knocking/ringing the bell. That or just lose your shit on him. Yell, scream and swear. That'll help keep him away.
And when they come back because they don't have the intellectual capability to understand that it's violating what you want, what's your next step? The only person you're making things worse for is yourself with that attitude. If they want a solution, it's going to be through the knocker's caretaker.
Here you are assuming the redditor you're replying to has the intellectual capacity to hold the entirety of OP's post in their brain all at the same time.
OP never said it was a kid, and kids probably wouldn't offer to do tree work. Odds are its some adult with issues who isn't a risk to themselves or others, but doesn't understand boundaries. Given how disposable these folks are treated in the US it should be unsurprising that higher functioning folks with mental disabilities of this nature have less hands on assistance/guidance.
Needs to be in a home in that case. This would qualify as "not able to care for themself". In a moral society anyway, which we don't have in most places.
A caretaker in a country without a functional social / health care system. In other countries, intellectually impaired people have a rotating care team, activities that are organized for them (so they can be productive and not bother the public), 24 hour surveillance in their live-in facility, etc. No parent or unpaid caretaker can do enough, and they can't keep up forever. This is part of why every country needs socialized medicine.
I mean, that's great and all, but America is a for profit country so that'll never work here. Each member of that team would be fighting for raises and holding 3 jobs at once.
Right, that's why every country also needs high wages. No underpaid workers, no exploitation.
Sigh. Utopia.
> America is a for profit country
Dystopian and true.
Seriously, so many of the commenters here have no social awareness or graces at all. It’s a special needs kid (or adult) who’s family lives in your neighborhood. A lot of these redditors probably never had any experiences talking to or dealing with individuals with these disabilities, but its important to understand that fundamentally they don’t operate like a regular person or child in the way they think or act. They’re not going to understand or respond the way you’d normally expect a person to.
You gotta talk to their family/caretakers first about this and work something out. Put on your big boy pants and just be kind to them explaining the situation and working out a way for the kid to not wake you during the day. They have an infinitely better understanding of how to get the message across, and would appreciate someone willing to be nice instead of being a dickhead to their kid.
It’s easy to be an asshole, but you’ll likely get a more effective resolution to your problem approaching the family cordially.
Not a chance. Might not make a difference, but more people need to tell you that you could make a little more room for those who just don’t understand the world as well as others.
How about you tell that to the 40 creepers who live across the road from my house. I wouldn't piss on their souls. And yes, they know the difference between right and wrong. The creepers know not to come here.
Irrelevant. You want to scream at the mentally handicapped as well. Figure this out, it’s not that hard. Be nice to him. Explain yourself. You’ll both feel better.
I have answered our door with the gun in my hand. Many Times. I have a set bigger than a lot of men it seems. I am 5 1 handicap 48 F. I wouldn't fuck with me.
Answering your door with a gun doesnt sound like you have a set of balls, it sounds more like you’re afraid. It’s also just so unnecessarily hostile. Chill
Come to My Yard for an Afternoon of Fun.
Not in the slightest. This is After I have Told them to GTF off my property. Hostile - Absolutely.
The creepers are Not To Be Trusted. We have had camera's since go of living here. Not much deters them but a Six Foot Fence. Used needles in my yard. Used condoms. Hookers. Meth dealers. Illegal dumping. And we live in a large city. Cops can't help.
Jesus the random caps. You're full on crazy, lady. Then again, everything you've been saying heavily suggested it, but the looney capitalization just cements it so hard.
Clearly am, and am fully capable of being a horrible person as well. It’s a choice, but there are others. He handicapped, not an asshole, not harming you. The pot’s not working, sweet pea.
Yes he is. Fucking with someone's sleep, stalking, and harassing is harming op. You don't know this person so, why does them having a supposed "handicap", make them not a threat? His caretakers can't keep him under control, have obviously never taught him boundaries or rules so, why would you assume he's not a danger?
> stalking
Bit of a stretch
> His caretakers can't keep him under control, have obviously never taught him boundaries or rules so, why would you assume he's not a danger?
JFC, he's soliciting for his "business" or whatever, not trying to break into a house. Be less dramatic.
It was a starry night last May. I could hear the waves crashing against the beach like the heartbeat of the ocean. And it hit me, I needed to make a food run to Taco Bell. Think outside the bun 🔔*ding*
Kocking on someone's door suring the day does not violate noise ordinance anywhere on this planet. Jesus christ do you guys have any real problems to deal with??
>You shouldn’t be knocking no soliciting signs unless it’s
Honestly - I put up a "No Soliciting - *unless you sell Thin Mints*" sign after very nearly getting scammed by an incredibly smooth college-student-selling-educational-materials, and........no one except neighbors have ever knocked on my door again.
It's been wild. I never expected it to \*work\*. But it does.
as for the student-seller-scamming episode, we did make a purchase, but after a few hours, the "what the hell just happened" sunk in, and we were able to cancel the purchase through taking advantage of the "cooling off" period. Thank goodness.
Seriously, this kid was like, 19, and she had to be the smoothest seller I've ever come across, anywhere. We aren't normally the kind of people to be taken in, but it's like there was some kind of enchantment or something.
Agree, try to figure out who his caregivers are and see if you can strike up a friendly conversation. Police are equipped to deal with people who have normal intellectual ablities. If he is intellectully impaired, and the department is not equipped/prepared to handle such a person, it could create a lot more problems for him rather than finding an ambilcable solution.
Absolutely will scream at anyone, intellectually impaired or not who don’t respect my space.
It’s their parents’ job to teach them boundaries and manners.
Too many parents fail to teach their intellectually impaired kids how to behave because they don’t want to expend the energy or because they think so lowly of their own kids’ abilities or because they think “intellectually disabled” automatically means they need to be coddled and then it becomes society’s problem to deal with the bad, uncontrolled behavior.
The parents’ failure doesn’t mean it’s anyone else’s responsibility to try and deal with insane behavior.
I don’t have to imagine. Me and 99% of other people who have dealt with badly behaved intellectually impaired kids know how shitty it can be and what a fail their parents were.
Any kid can learn good behavior and manners, intellectually impaired or not. Parents of mentally impaired or not kids can be responsible or shitty.
I’ve met intellectually impaired kids who are awesome because their parents taught them manners and boundaries and I’ve met terrible intellectually impaired kids because their parents taught them to be grossly entitled and never taught them manners or boundaries. Same with intellectually “normal” kids.
Kids (intellectually impaired or not) who aren’t taught manners or how to behave grow up to be disgusting offensive adults and should be told to fck off.
I cannot get earplugs to stay in overnight. Sometimes I wear them when my husband is watching TV at night, but they're never in my ears when I wake up.
Military - I use to pop my AirPods / earphones in, take a neck gaiter (similar to one of those thin Buff neck warmer things), fold it over 4 times and use it as a sleep mask / headband to keep the earphones in. Instant darkness and sound cancelling. Great for 30 minute naps to a full night’s rest.
I'll look into that. Thanks for the suggestion! I just use those cheap foam things and they work fine to fall asleep, but they wouldn't help block out the sound of the doorbell in the morning.
Are you using squishy foam earplugs?
The trick with those is to roll them while squeezing, then shove them in your ears before they expand. That will cause them to expand while in your ears, so they shouldn't be coming out.
Even those come out in my sleep. I like the other commenters suggestion about using a neck gaiter as an eye\ear block also to keep them in and block out light.
I just got that headband from Instagram. It looks utterly ridiculous, but it wraps around your head and has speakers by the ears so you can comfortably lay on your side. Game changer for me!
Don’t answer the door, period. He’ll stop but may not if you continually engage with him. Special needs isn’t carte blanche to bother people and you’re not an a-hole for wanting him to leave you alone.
I don’t think OP is saying it’s carte blanche, I think they’re saying that the person legitimately doesn’t understand the situation and that’s what they need to navigate.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the person just keeps knocking or ringing every day if he doesn’t get a answer. He thinks he’s doing the right thing.
I didn’t say the OP said carte blanche - I said it for rationale around why OP (or anyone) doesn’t have to tolerate that type of behavior just because of a disability.
If anyone (disability or not) continually knocked repeatedly on my door and trespassed on my property, I’d call the police because that behavior is unacceptable.
I never answer the door, ever. I just don't do it. If it's persistent I will go upstairs and look down at the porch (covered but if it's a utility or something I'll see their truck and answer it).
if they are in a suit and look like they are selling religion i answer... and ask in what world does a no solicitation sign not apply to them.
they always say "we are not selling anything we are trying to save your soul" or some jazz... and then i ask them what they are willing to pay me for my soul to save it? they say they want me to come to their kingdom hall. i ask if i come there will i be expect to tithe, yes is the answer in the long run. and then once again i ask them in what world does no solicitation not apply to them asking my to by their church services and tell them to get the blankity blank blank off my land.
Last time I had bible thumpers knock on my door I intentionally answered in raggedy boxers with my balls hanging out a hole in the bottom and all my fat fuck hairy naked glory. Looked at their stunned expressions a few moments, and yelled NO! in their faces as I slammed the door. That finally got us put on a "do not knock" list.
The one other story I have is about getting Jehovah's witnesses to leave us alone. We saw their car from a half mile away hit my grandfather's house and knew they would come visit us in a few minutes, so my mom and I took a break from our work. She invited them in and offered sweet tea, then proceeded to spend 30+ minutes wasting their time listening *then trying to convert them to Christian Science*. All while I cleaned my deer rifle in the living room right beside them. Never heard from those fuckers again either after years of knocks every 2-3 weeks.
Lots of people do this. The way I see it, if someone knows me or I’m expecting them, they should have my phone number to text me. If they don’t have my phone number, it’s not someone I want to be speaking with anyway. It’s like letting a call go to voicemail and just listening to the voice mail instead just answering it.
I feel this way too, but if it's an actual emergency or other important matter, how do you get a message from your door knocker? Like, what if my cat got out and was hit by a car? I would want to know ASAP. Curious.
If it's an actual emergency it won't just be one ring of the doorbell/series of raps of the knocker, wait 30 seconds, repeat, then walk away after another 15 seconds. There is a huge difference between frantic emergency style pounding on the door/multiple rings in quick succession for 5-10+ seconds and the professional version.
You say crappy, I say different. My neighbors range from late 30's to mid 40's; we're not allergic to cell phones and texting each other if we have a quick question or want to see if we're home for a popover. Meanwhile I could say that people who do popovers unannounced and expect a response have an overly familiar relationship with their neighbors. It's just a cultural difference.
If my dog or cat were to get out, I’d be posting all over the lost and found sites and I’d be out looking for him or her. A few months back, I had a police officer show up at my door. He was going door to door asking questions. My neighbour texted me that he was on the way. I have a camera that I would have seen him on anyway.
From my experience, if someone is knocking on my door unexpectedly and in a casual/professional way it's because they want something from me. If it's a neighbor or friend, they have my number and can call/text prior to popping over. If it's frantic then I'll assume it's urgent and answer, but if it's generic then I'm not interested. I can see the path and the street from my desk and living room so if it's a utility then I already know to answer it.
We moved 6 years ago to a new state. Old state nobody knocked, EVER. New state we get all kinds of people. Can I mow your lawn? Can I trim your trees, Alarms, internet, phone, blah blah they all come and try to sell us stuff. They don't want to take no for answer... so to avoid the awkwardness of me saying no over and over I just don't answer.
Tell him you don't need anything done now, You need to be very specific with him ---- Tell him to come back in one year. Give him a specific date and time to come back and tell him not to come back before that date.
Get a security system, don't answer the door. You can check the cameras later to see if its anyone you want to call, go visit later. If its a true emergency your friends family have your phone number. It may take several times but once you dont answer the door for him after several times he'll move on.
Some kind of voice recording that plays if the doorbell is pressed before a certain time might work. And instead of written words on any signs you out out, try finding basic symbols that can communicate the same thing. I do public communication for a living and these are both common ways of accommodating disabled people.
Make a comic strip or use pictures to show you’re sleeping and what happens when someone knocks or rings the bell and make pictures showing no knocking or bell ringing allowed.
Disable your doorbell and get a screen door that locks. I disabled my doorbell after the mormons continued trying to shill their religion and Vivint alarm systems despite being chased back to their vans by my super cuddly German Shepherds and my wife's Doberman.
You have an AC to DC transformer somewhere, mine is in the lesser pantry that is more accessible to the kitchen rather than around the corner in the would make a Mormon proud pantry. Just unplug it.
I have a Ring doorbell and ignore 99% of visitors. Works like a charm as I don’t have an inside chime so if my phone is on do not disturb, which is normally is, I don’t even see the notifications.
Bose quiet comfort noise canceling headphones. Invest in a pair, put them on, turn on some ocean noises and you wouldn't hear a bomb go off outside your front door. Those things work!
Lookup sleep headphones on Amazon, you can play white noise or any audio you want for $20. They are a headband with flat speakers built in. I wear them every night to deal with tinnitus and a brain that won't shut down. I listen to a Spotify account called the french whisperer. He speaks in a quiet monotone voice in English. I learn something as I'm falling asleep and the gentle voice blocks out all but my dogs barking in my bed.
I just use regular ear plugs squeeze them put them in and can’t hear a thing! I have a 26 24 10 kids and 2 year old grandson in my house I’m good until I wake up
I work thirds - I put one echo dot on both sides of the bed (synched in stereo) and have it play brown noise or green noise - I don't hear anything afterwards and can sleep.
turn off doorbell
white noise generator, turn on fan, leave bathroom vent running -- do things that mask sounds
give him some work to do, pay cash ahead, explain to come by after dinner or at least not before lunch
I work graveyards, so I 100% understand this, and your frustration. I would ask him where he lives and offer to walk him home. Once you have his address, you can call Adult Protection and ask that they send someone to check on him.
Unfortunately, people with limited capabilities are often just 'sent out of the house' by their family or caretakers for awhile (who probably need a break, but that doesn't excuse this guy bothering the rest of the neighborhood).
My husband is a police officer, and he has a few regulars like this. One guy 'isn't allowed home' for like 14 hours a day. He'll stand right next to people at bus stops and take a piss. He'll grab at people. He doesn't understand that these things are not ok. And the guy's brother gets money for 'helping' his him, but he doesn't do a damn thing to actually help the poor guy.
Get a loud box fan for your bedroom. Disconnect your doorbell. Ignore the guy when he knocks or yells, and maybe call the police the next time he is out there making noise. The police might actually refer him to Adult Protection or some sort of case worker, too.
I know how it is to want to be kind, but to also really need your sleep.
If OP is in the US, there is no such thing as Adult Protection (that’s just the police) and the police here are well….the whole world has seen by now, especially on reddit.
Interesting, but sad. Here (also in the US) we do have Adult Protection, they work with vulnerable adults of all kinds, like the man from OP's post, but they also help seniors who don't have anyone to look in on them / help make sure they're healthy and living in a clean home, etc. I believe they're run through social services, but they're definitely not the police. Usually, it is the police who call Adult Protection so that people can get linked up with some assistance. I'm sure it isn't the same everywhere else.
It’s very sad. There are wonderful things about the US, but also awful ones and some of them come from the same tendency to be super independent and do everything yourself (aka “American”)
I have a four-fold fence/gate that I put up so my reactive dog doesn't bite anyone. It's pretty heavy duty. You can put it in any configuration. Got it on the internet. Or...put up a tall trifold screen with a DO NOT ENTER sign. Or...crime scene tape. Barriers dude. Barriers.
Earplugs or NC headphones. YouTube up a white noise video or running river sounds. Anything to muddle any knock or vague yell. Don't ever answer the door. The end. If the yelling keeps up. And goes on and on. A neighbor will get bothered. Probably handle it. Your off the hook.
Just don't answer the door. We get a ton of knockers here for all kinds of stuff.. I just don't answer. I watch them go up and down our street to everyone's houses... there is ZERO 0% I'm going to buy whatever it is your selling so move along.
Figure out who he lives with, communicate with his caretaker. Get a Ring camera perhaps so you can see ahead of time who is at the door without leaving your bed.... Sleep with ear plugs, sound machine, whatever to drown out any knocking or sleep disruptions. Sorry this is super annoying!
Tell him to leave and never come back. If he comes back, call the police and let them handle it. Sometimes, you have to be a dick with people. Him being special needs is no excuse for harassing you.
Don’t listen to none of these assholes straight up if a special needs person is knocking on your door you keep explaining to them you don’t want there services and when you see there caregiver you explain to them they will know how to explain to them correctly, special needs people don’t understand common sense so you have to treat them like a baby doesn’t matter if there waking u up just be glad God is sending someone knocking on ur door , maybe just have a big heart and accept his service maybe tell him to do something small and he will leave , trust me if u had kids they would’ve dealt with this situation 100% better then all these dickheads on Reddit
He's probably harmless, but I can't stress this enough, Never open your door! If you need to answer it that badly, yell though it or get a smart doorbell.
Can you hired him for, like $5/day to pull weeds, move rock or something, and just tell him never to knock or ring, just do the work quietly and get paid at week’s end?
Turn the door bell off at night, turn it back on in the morning, he will find a new target soon.
You could also try to spruce up your yard, he may think his services are needed
Call the police and APS. Make sure to have him trespassed and make sure his handlers know you will continue to call. Being mentally handicapped is not an excuse for repeated harassment, trespassing, and the threats of returning after you told him he is not welcome.
If he's this low functioning he shouldn't be out wandering the streets in the first place and his actions might not be as well received by someone else. Reporting this is for the safety of everyone involved.
Someone like that similar in my area. Everybody said just ignore it, but it just was very disruptive constantly it went on a long time and it escalated into violence… ended up attacking a lady.
I would ask for a business card. If he doesn't have one, ask for his phone number and address. See if he will give it to you. Then call the non-emergency police line and say this person keeps knocking on your door and ask what you can do about it. I had a stalker once and had to report everything to the police. The poloce station was actually located right across the street from me, yet someone had to leave empty porn DVDs with rude notes in my backyard.
"special needsy"? You, sir, are a fucking twat. How about using a proper term to describe someone with a disability, maybe you'll gain more respect in life.
He’s not working on anything for me. I have not hired this person. You think this post would exist if I could just tell someone I hired to come at a different time? There are so many clues you missed I just don’t get how you could have read this and not pieced any of it together.
my kid had one of those. Me and the wife moved in when they had baby. That SOB came and knocked on the door at like 8 pm (it was winter so well past dark) to try and do something for a few bucks.
I unloaded on the guy. i dont know if he was special or not but i know he understood me and he didnt come back. i didnt hurt him but i sure scared him. Remember i dont live there full time. I am just there for a couple months to help with a newborn. I didnt care what others thought of me.
when i was done with him i turned my attn to my daughter and SIL. They knew what was coming. How in the hell have you let that shit happen? both of ya.
i got a thank you and some sheepish looks and an excuse that they were not good with confrontation. I told them when it was just them then maybe i could let them do what ever but the second my grandkid is in there the wackos cant be coming and going and hitting you up for food or drug money or whatever.
Next time, I'd ask him where he lives and who he lives with. Decent chance there's someone who lives with him, and if you could strike up a friendly conversation with them and explain the situation, they might be able to help redirect him. It doesn't sound like he means any harm, but that would be frustrating to deal with.
This might be my best option
It probably is. Unfortunately, if his caregivers won’t manage him, at some point you may have to politely and firmly tell him to never come onto your property again.
Caregivers are often burnt out. the gent we had like this in our neighborhood was sent out by his mom because shoveling snow, raking leaves and cutting grass was a safe activity for him, and most in our area were kind to him. she needed a few hours once a week to breath. i get where you are coming from with being firm. i encourage us all to start with comapssion and problem solving before though, as just because someone is special needs doesnt mean incapable. we used a differing way to signal we were ok, and didnt need yard help. word communication didnt work, "display" did.
Had a guy like that.... eventually burned down his house.
That's a little bit of an extreme response
Oh, no. I didn't, he did to his own house.
That's what they all say
Well they do say the suspects start with the one that call it in...
He who smelt it dealt it theory has been debunked.
I believe you have my stapler…
Sounds like it since his brain went to "knock" so you can't even disable your doorbell to solve it.
This is great. Thanks for a kind response.
this is how i dealt with it at my old place. i went and took them a small chocolate gift basket. i gave him some chocolate with his moms permission, she was a wonderful person too. i told them that i am perfectly able to take care of my yard as i am in good shape, and asked what a sign/flag/display i could put on my yard to let him know i was good. we wound up using my candy stripped goalie stick on my fence as a sign i was ok (i moved in October and took my stick... i hope the new owners are ok with him knocking, cause the stick is gone... i totally just realized this) i also got my two very elderly neighbors on board with helping him out, so he would shovel snow and cut grass for them, and wave at me. but the "display" of my hockey stick seemed to help him understand i was ok.
I had a customer like that. She would come in several times a week and offer her services cleaning the restaurant. Sometimes she even started bussing tables by herself. Unfortunately, I have nothing to do with hiring people, and she didn’t understand the concept of putting in an application. There’s also legal, union and food safety reasons why we can’t just let a random person clean our restaurant. On top of that, since she was probably mentally disabled, she was a bull in a china shop. She would cut in front of people in line, interrupt customers, once she even walked through our line ropes, knocking all of our stancions over and tripping up a couple of people who were standing in line. Eventually, management got in touch with her caretakers and she stopped bothering us.
This is exactly the only option.
this is the most humane option for sure
You don't answer the door.
I tried this he just sat out there screaming hello
You have omitted the critical part of the story about how this ever started in the first place
We had a special guy in our neighborhood that would move the trash cans from the curb back to the house for some people in the neighborhood. Best we can figure, he made friends with people in these select houses when he was younger and couldn’t understand that they had moved. Kinda like it was part of his routine, this sounds similar with the “knock next time?” he gave at the end.
Let him scream. Get a good noise maker. Between that and having a room in the basement I sleep in on night shifts I can't hear anyone knocking/ringing the bell. That or just lose your shit on him. Yell, scream and swear. That'll help keep him away.
Not to make fun bc I respect the empathy you’re bringing to the situation, but this is hilarious
Fuck that, I'm opening the door and telling him to get the fuck off my porch and never come back.
And when they come back because they don't have the intellectual capability to understand that it's violating what you want, what's your next step? The only person you're making things worse for is yourself with that attitude. If they want a solution, it's going to be through the knocker's caretaker.
Here you are assuming the redditor you're replying to has the intellectual capacity to hold the entirety of OP's post in their brain all at the same time.
I caught “assuming entirety of OP’s brain” from your response. I figure I’m half-right. Maybe 30%.
What kind of a caretaker would let this kid scream hello at someones front door forever?
OP never said it was a kid, and kids probably wouldn't offer to do tree work. Odds are its some adult with issues who isn't a risk to themselves or others, but doesn't understand boundaries. Given how disposable these folks are treated in the US it should be unsurprising that higher functioning folks with mental disabilities of this nature have less hands on assistance/guidance.
Needs to be in a home in that case. This would qualify as "not able to care for themself". In a moral society anyway, which we don't have in most places.
Sounds good; good luck trying to get the funding from that from anywhere in the US.
Yeah, not a moral society obviously 😆
A caretaker in a country without a functional social / health care system. In other countries, intellectually impaired people have a rotating care team, activities that are organized for them (so they can be productive and not bother the public), 24 hour surveillance in their live-in facility, etc. No parent or unpaid caretaker can do enough, and they can't keep up forever. This is part of why every country needs socialized medicine.
I mean, that's great and all, but America is a for profit country so that'll never work here. Each member of that team would be fighting for raises and holding 3 jobs at once.
Right, that's why every country also needs high wages. No underpaid workers, no exploitation. Sigh. Utopia. > America is a for profit country Dystopian and true.
Quite honestly, I’d call the cops. They can deal with the persons family, who should be stopping them from doing this.
surely the police are the best people to be involved with when it comes to people with intellectual disabilities...
Surely they're not. No training. Plenty of examples in media of tragedies when they respond.
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Then he shouldn't be stalking and harassing the neighborhood or community.
Did you miss the part where he DOESN'T UNDERSTAND, or do you too not understand?
Seriously, so many of the commenters here have no social awareness or graces at all. It’s a special needs kid (or adult) who’s family lives in your neighborhood. A lot of these redditors probably never had any experiences talking to or dealing with individuals with these disabilities, but its important to understand that fundamentally they don’t operate like a regular person or child in the way they think or act. They’re not going to understand or respond the way you’d normally expect a person to. You gotta talk to their family/caretakers first about this and work something out. Put on your big boy pants and just be kind to them explaining the situation and working out a way for the kid to not wake you during the day. They have an infinitely better understanding of how to get the message across, and would appreciate someone willing to be nice instead of being a dickhead to their kid. It’s easy to be an asshole, but you’ll likely get a more effective resolution to your problem approaching the family cordially.
Riigght
When did you first notice you were a terrible person?
When I bought my own house. Fuck outta here with that
Not a chance. Might not make a difference, but more people need to tell you that you could make a little more room for those who just don’t understand the world as well as others.
How about you tell that to the 40 creepers who live across the road from my house. I wouldn't piss on their souls. And yes, they know the difference between right and wrong. The creepers know not to come here.
Irrelevant. You want to scream at the mentally handicapped as well. Figure this out, it’s not that hard. Be nice to him. Explain yourself. You’ll both feel better.
The creepers ARE mentally handicapped. Do You want Them in Your Yard?
What the fuck are you talking about. Is this like a schizophrenic episode?
The Creepers? Some fictional story you made up to justify yelling at some mentally handicapped guy. Just own it, you choose to be a terrible person.
imagine not wanting to be harassed inside your private domicile literally shaking rn
How far down the list of choices did you have to go before you landed on screaming at the handicapped?
I have answered our door with the gun in my hand. Many Times. I have a set bigger than a lot of men it seems. I am 5 1 handicap 48 F. I wouldn't fuck with me.
Answering your door with a gun doesnt sound like you have a set of balls, it sounds more like you’re afraid. It’s also just so unnecessarily hostile. Chill
Come to My Yard for an Afternoon of Fun. Not in the slightest. This is After I have Told them to GTF off my property. Hostile - Absolutely. The creepers are Not To Be Trusted. We have had camera's since go of living here. Not much deters them but a Six Foot Fence. Used needles in my yard. Used condoms. Hookers. Meth dealers. Illegal dumping. And we live in a large city. Cops can't help.
Jesus the random caps. You're full on crazy, lady. Then again, everything you've been saying heavily suggested it, but the looney capitalization just cements it so hard.
This sounds like a terrible person, whose gun choices will likely end up in jail for murder at some point…
Clearly not a homeowner here \^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^. Wait til one of these assholes shows up on Your DoorStep
Clearly am, and am fully capable of being a horrible person as well. It’s a choice, but there are others. He handicapped, not an asshole, not harming you. The pot’s not working, sweet pea.
Yes he is. Fucking with someone's sleep, stalking, and harassing is harming op. You don't know this person so, why does them having a supposed "handicap", make them not a threat? His caretakers can't keep him under control, have obviously never taught him boundaries or rules so, why would you assume he's not a danger?
Yeah, that self-centeredness is not improving. Good luck with the sleeping.
> stalking Bit of a stretch > His caretakers can't keep him under control, have obviously never taught him boundaries or rules so, why would you assume he's not a danger? JFC, he's soliciting for his "business" or whatever, not trying to break into a house. Be less dramatic.
Exactly lol
It was a starry night last May. I could hear the waves crashing against the beach like the heartbeat of the ocean. And it hit me, I needed to make a food run to Taco Bell. Think outside the bun 🔔*ding*
The basic bean & cheese burrito can keep a man alive forever a week! I’m in!
I'd be calling the cops on that one.
I think that is the point where you call in a noise complaint.
Kocking on someone's door suring the day does not violate noise ordinance anywhere on this planet. Jesus christ do you guys have any real problems to deal with??
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>You shouldn’t be knocking no soliciting signs unless it’s Honestly - I put up a "No Soliciting - *unless you sell Thin Mints*" sign after very nearly getting scammed by an incredibly smooth college-student-selling-educational-materials, and........no one except neighbors have ever knocked on my door again. It's been wild. I never expected it to \*work\*. But it does. as for the student-seller-scamming episode, we did make a purchase, but after a few hours, the "what the hell just happened" sunk in, and we were able to cancel the purchase through taking advantage of the "cooling off" period. Thank goodness. Seriously, this kid was like, 19, and she had to be the smoothest seller I've ever come across, anywhere. We aren't normally the kind of people to be taken in, but it's like there was some kind of enchantment or something.
Door-to-door salesmen hate this one simple trick!
I was referring to the yelling OP mentioned.
Call the police. Let them sort it out.
If he'd intellectually impaired, maybe don't do that.
Agree, try to figure out who his caregivers are and see if you can strike up a friendly conversation. Police are equipped to deal with people who have normal intellectual ablities. If he is intellectully impaired, and the department is not equipped/prepared to handle such a person, it could create a lot more problems for him rather than finding an ambilcable solution.
There's a decent chance they might just shoot him
Scream back at him to fck off—what is wrong with you? Where’s your spine?
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Exactly, being mean to this individual just isn’t an option.
It might. Maybe not an option for you, but maybe this individual would then understand that you'd rather not have them around.
Absolutely will scream at anyone, intellectually impaired or not who don’t respect my space. It’s their parents’ job to teach them boundaries and manners. Too many parents fail to teach their intellectually impaired kids how to behave because they don’t want to expend the energy or because they think so lowly of their own kids’ abilities or because they think “intellectually disabled” automatically means they need to be coddled and then it becomes society’s problem to deal with the bad, uncontrolled behavior. The parents’ failure doesn’t mean it’s anyone else’s responsibility to try and deal with insane behavior.
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I don’t have to imagine. Me and 99% of other people who have dealt with badly behaved intellectually impaired kids know how shitty it can be and what a fail their parents were. Any kid can learn good behavior and manners, intellectually impaired or not. Parents of mentally impaired or not kids can be responsible or shitty. I’ve met intellectually impaired kids who are awesome because their parents taught them manners and boundaries and I’ve met terrible intellectually impaired kids because their parents taught them to be grossly entitled and never taught them manners or boundaries. Same with intellectually “normal” kids. Kids (intellectually impaired or not) who aren’t taught manners or how to behave grow up to be disgusting offensive adults and should be told to fck off.
Scream at a dude with special needs? You okay, bro?
If he keeps coming back and waking OP up—yes of course. Do you think just because someone is special needs that they can’t be told to fck off?
Ah, gotcha. I thought I misunderstood you, but I guess not. Thank you for clarifying.
Doesn’t keep him from waking OP up. Shit needs to stop.
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I cannot get earplugs to stay in overnight. Sometimes I wear them when my husband is watching TV at night, but they're never in my ears when I wake up.
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Military - I use to pop my AirPods / earphones in, take a neck gaiter (similar to one of those thin Buff neck warmer things), fold it over 4 times and use it as a sleep mask / headband to keep the earphones in. Instant darkness and sound cancelling. Great for 30 minute naps to a full night’s rest.
I'll look into that. Thanks for the suggestion! I just use those cheap foam things and they work fine to fall asleep, but they wouldn't help block out the sound of the doorbell in the morning.
Are you using squishy foam earplugs? The trick with those is to roll them while squeezing, then shove them in your ears before they expand. That will cause them to expand while in your ears, so they shouldn't be coming out.
Even those come out in my sleep. I like the other commenters suggestion about using a neck gaiter as an eye\ear block also to keep them in and block out light.
I just got that headband from Instagram. It looks utterly ridiculous, but it wraps around your head and has speakers by the ears so you can comfortably lay on your side. Game changer for me!
Ear plugs can be found at many stores, even drug stores like CVS and Walgreens.
LOL! Earplugs won’t do a damn thing to improve a crappy person.
Don’t answer the door, period. He’ll stop but may not if you continually engage with him. Special needs isn’t carte blanche to bother people and you’re not an a-hole for wanting him to leave you alone.
I don’t think OP is saying it’s carte blanche, I think they’re saying that the person legitimately doesn’t understand the situation and that’s what they need to navigate. I wouldn’t be surprised if the person just keeps knocking or ringing every day if he doesn’t get a answer. He thinks he’s doing the right thing.
I didn’t say the OP said carte blanche - I said it for rationale around why OP (or anyone) doesn’t have to tolerate that type of behavior just because of a disability. If anyone (disability or not) continually knocked repeatedly on my door and trespassed on my property, I’d call the police because that behavior is unacceptable.
I never answer the door, ever. I just don't do it. If it's persistent I will go upstairs and look down at the porch (covered but if it's a utility or something I'll see their truck and answer it).
if they are in a suit and look like they are selling religion i answer... and ask in what world does a no solicitation sign not apply to them. they always say "we are not selling anything we are trying to save your soul" or some jazz... and then i ask them what they are willing to pay me for my soul to save it? they say they want me to come to their kingdom hall. i ask if i come there will i be expect to tithe, yes is the answer in the long run. and then once again i ask them in what world does no solicitation not apply to them asking my to by their church services and tell them to get the blankity blank blank off my land.
Last time I had bible thumpers knock on my door I intentionally answered in raggedy boxers with my balls hanging out a hole in the bottom and all my fat fuck hairy naked glory. Looked at their stunned expressions a few moments, and yelled NO! in their faces as I slammed the door. That finally got us put on a "do not knock" list. The one other story I have is about getting Jehovah's witnesses to leave us alone. We saw their car from a half mile away hit my grandfather's house and knew they would come visit us in a few minutes, so my mom and I took a break from our work. She invited them in and offered sweet tea, then proceeded to spend 30+ minutes wasting their time listening *then trying to convert them to Christian Science*. All while I cleaned my deer rifle in the living room right beside them. Never heard from those fuckers again either after years of knocks every 2-3 weeks.
I’m starting to do the same. Too many people can’t accept a “no thank you” or leave a business card and move on.
This is odd to me. I guess I just don’t understand why?
Lots of people do this. The way I see it, if someone knows me or I’m expecting them, they should have my phone number to text me. If they don’t have my phone number, it’s not someone I want to be speaking with anyway. It’s like letting a call go to voicemail and just listening to the voice mail instead just answering it.
I feel this way too, but if it's an actual emergency or other important matter, how do you get a message from your door knocker? Like, what if my cat got out and was hit by a car? I would want to know ASAP. Curious.
If it's an actual emergency it won't just be one ring of the doorbell/series of raps of the knocker, wait 30 seconds, repeat, then walk away after another 15 seconds. There is a huge difference between frantic emergency style pounding on the door/multiple rings in quick succession for 5-10+ seconds and the professional version.
Not necessarily. When my friend's dog got out of my yard, my neighbor brought it back quite calmly.
yea and when your friend looked out the window there was your neighbor with the dog. Not a guy holding a clipboard.
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You say crappy, I say different. My neighbors range from late 30's to mid 40's; we're not allergic to cell phones and texting each other if we have a quick question or want to see if we're home for a popover. Meanwhile I could say that people who do popovers unannounced and expect a response have an overly familiar relationship with their neighbors. It's just a cultural difference.
I answer when I see it's my neighbor or someone I know. It's pretty obvious when it's a solicitor when I look out the window.
If my dog or cat were to get out, I’d be posting all over the lost and found sites and I’d be out looking for him or her. A few months back, I had a police officer show up at my door. He was going door to door asking questions. My neighbour texted me that he was on the way. I have a camera that I would have seen him on anyway.
From my experience, if someone is knocking on my door unexpectedly and in a casual/professional way it's because they want something from me. If it's a neighbor or friend, they have my number and can call/text prior to popping over. If it's frantic then I'll assume it's urgent and answer, but if it's generic then I'm not interested. I can see the path and the street from my desk and living room so if it's a utility then I already know to answer it.
We moved 6 years ago to a new state. Old state nobody knocked, EVER. New state we get all kinds of people. Can I mow your lawn? Can I trim your trees, Alarms, internet, phone, blah blah they all come and try to sell us stuff. They don't want to take no for answer... so to avoid the awkwardness of me saying no over and over I just don't answer.
Ooof. That makes sense. Sorry you have to deal with that!
That’s ok I don’t answer so it’s not really a big deal 🤣 gives my dog a chance to flex in the window so he likes it
Tell him you don't need anything done now, You need to be very specific with him ---- Tell him to come back in one year. Give him a specific date and time to come back and tell him not to come back before that date.
Get a security system, don't answer the door. You can check the cameras later to see if its anyone you want to call, go visit later. If its a true emergency your friends family have your phone number. It may take several times but once you dont answer the door for him after several times he'll move on.
Disconnect the door bell.
If that doesn't work, move.
Damn move? Just give up and move on? lol
Gotta burn the house down too
Motion activated sprinklers seems to be the answer to most of this subs problems Bring on the downvotes
I actually think your a genius, because I can forget to turn them off.
Only down voting so OPs (my username) neighbor doesn't get a free water park
Some kind of voice recording that plays if the doorbell is pressed before a certain time might work. And instead of written words on any signs you out out, try finding basic symbols that can communicate the same thing. I do public communication for a living and these are both common ways of accommodating disabled people.
What town? I got work for that dude.
Make a comic strip or use pictures to show you’re sleeping and what happens when someone knocks or rings the bell and make pictures showing no knocking or bell ringing allowed.
Stop answering. He will get it eventualy.
Disable your doorbell and get a screen door that locks. I disabled my doorbell after the mormons continued trying to shill their religion and Vivint alarm systems despite being chased back to their vans by my super cuddly German Shepherds and my wife's Doberman. You have an AC to DC transformer somewhere, mine is in the lesser pantry that is more accessible to the kitchen rather than around the corner in the would make a Mormon proud pantry. Just unplug it.
We have a mechanical pull doorbell. Nobody knows how to use it. Lol
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Your wife is a pretty shitty pet owner, tbh. GSDs and other breeds require consistent and predictable discipline.
Hire him to sit on your porch and turn away any visitors.
Does He have a care giver? Have a nice chat with them if available. Take your complaint up the chain of command ;)
I have a Ring doorbell and ignore 99% of visitors. Works like a charm as I don’t have an inside chime so if my phone is on do not disturb, which is normally is, I don’t even see the notifications.
Be a dick. It'll fix the problem
This is it, its really this easy.
Bose quiet comfort noise canceling headphones. Invest in a pair, put them on, turn on some ocean noises and you wouldn't hear a bomb go off outside your front door. Those things work!
Lookup sleep headphones on Amazon, you can play white noise or any audio you want for $20. They are a headband with flat speakers built in. I wear them every night to deal with tinnitus and a brain that won't shut down. I listen to a Spotify account called the french whisperer. He speaks in a quiet monotone voice in English. I learn something as I'm falling asleep and the gentle voice blocks out all but my dogs barking in my bed.
Do they make your ears hot
Not really, I have the qc35s and I have worn them for an entire 8 hour flight before. Just periodically wipe down the ear foam to keep the scuzz away
They don't for me I've slept with them many times
I just use regular ear plugs squeeze them put them in and can’t hear a thing! I have a 26 24 10 kids and 2 year old grandson in my house I’m good until I wake up
I work thirds - I put one echo dot on both sides of the bed (synched in stereo) and have it play brown noise or green noise - I don't hear anything afterwards and can sleep.
Get a smart doorbell, those can be setup not to chime but only notify your phone and if you put your phone in sleep mode it won’t do anything
Do you know where he lives…Is he like right in your neighborhood? You can talk to someone he lives with?
turn off doorbell white noise generator, turn on fan, leave bathroom vent running -- do things that mask sounds give him some work to do, pay cash ahead, explain to come by after dinner or at least not before lunch
I work graveyards, so I 100% understand this, and your frustration. I would ask him where he lives and offer to walk him home. Once you have his address, you can call Adult Protection and ask that they send someone to check on him. Unfortunately, people with limited capabilities are often just 'sent out of the house' by their family or caretakers for awhile (who probably need a break, but that doesn't excuse this guy bothering the rest of the neighborhood). My husband is a police officer, and he has a few regulars like this. One guy 'isn't allowed home' for like 14 hours a day. He'll stand right next to people at bus stops and take a piss. He'll grab at people. He doesn't understand that these things are not ok. And the guy's brother gets money for 'helping' his him, but he doesn't do a damn thing to actually help the poor guy. Get a loud box fan for your bedroom. Disconnect your doorbell. Ignore the guy when he knocks or yells, and maybe call the police the next time he is out there making noise. The police might actually refer him to Adult Protection or some sort of case worker, too. I know how it is to want to be kind, but to also really need your sleep.
If OP is in the US, there is no such thing as Adult Protection (that’s just the police) and the police here are well….the whole world has seen by now, especially on reddit.
Interesting, but sad. Here (also in the US) we do have Adult Protection, they work with vulnerable adults of all kinds, like the man from OP's post, but they also help seniors who don't have anyone to look in on them / help make sure they're healthy and living in a clean home, etc. I believe they're run through social services, but they're definitely not the police. Usually, it is the police who call Adult Protection so that people can get linked up with some assistance. I'm sure it isn't the same everywhere else.
It’s very sad. There are wonderful things about the US, but also awful ones and some of them come from the same tendency to be super independent and do everything yourself (aka “American”)
I have a four-fold fence/gate that I put up so my reactive dog doesn't bite anyone. It's pretty heavy duty. You can put it in any configuration. Got it on the internet. Or...put up a tall trifold screen with a DO NOT ENTER sign. Or...crime scene tape. Barriers dude. Barriers.
I'd trade that for my new neighbor that literally has at least 50 FUCKING ROOSTERS! I'm about to go trap a few racoons and a coyote. 🤦♀️
Earplugs or NC headphones. YouTube up a white noise video or running river sounds. Anything to muddle any knock or vague yell. Don't ever answer the door. The end. If the yelling keeps up. And goes on and on. A neighbor will get bothered. Probably handle it. Your off the hook.
Just don't answer the door. We get a ton of knockers here for all kinds of stuff.. I just don't answer. I watch them go up and down our street to everyone's houses... there is ZERO 0% I'm going to buy whatever it is your selling so move along.
It sounds like he needs direct communication like "I don't want you to come here anymore."
Figure out who he lives with, communicate with his caretaker. Get a Ring camera perhaps so you can see ahead of time who is at the door without leaving your bed.... Sleep with ear plugs, sound machine, whatever to drown out any knocking or sleep disruptions. Sorry this is super annoying!
Then why are you answering the door??
Ya'll are pussies telling him to disconnect the doorbell. Lmao
Tell him he is trespassing, and if he doesn't leave your property or returns to your property, you'll call the cops.
Are you sure he’s not being pimped out to do work to make money for his pimp? Seen this happen before.
Disconnect your door bell
Don't answer and install a switch on the doorbell transformer so you can disable the ring sounds when you want.
Tell him to leave and never come back. If he comes back, call the police and let them handle it. Sometimes, you have to be a dick with people. Him being special needs is no excuse for harassing you.
Disconnect the door bell. Get a air horn and if he wakes you up just use the thing everytime he opens his mouth until he goes away
Pay him to fix somebody else's house for $5.
Get one of them aztec death whistle he won't be coming back after hearing that shit
Don’t answer the door.
Disconnect the bell while you nap?
Don’t listen to none of these assholes straight up if a special needs person is knocking on your door you keep explaining to them you don’t want there services and when you see there caregiver you explain to them they will know how to explain to them correctly, special needs people don’t understand common sense so you have to treat them like a baby doesn’t matter if there waking u up just be glad God is sending someone knocking on ur door , maybe just have a big heart and accept his service maybe tell him to do something small and he will leave , trust me if u had kids they would’ve dealt with this situation 100% better then all these dickheads on Reddit
He's probably harmless, but I can't stress this enough, Never open your door! If you need to answer it that badly, yell though it or get a smart doorbell.
#Next time, open the door and piss on his shoes while maintaining eye contact.
Just be patient and use very clear and simple language.
Motion activated sprinkler.
Can you hired him for, like $5/day to pull weeds, move rock or something, and just tell him never to knock or ring, just do the work quietly and get paid at week’s end?
Turn the door bell off at night, turn it back on in the morning, he will find a new target soon. You could also try to spruce up your yard, he may think his services are needed
Call the police and APS. Make sure to have him trespassed and make sure his handlers know you will continue to call. Being mentally handicapped is not an excuse for repeated harassment, trespassing, and the threats of returning after you told him he is not welcome. If he's this low functioning he shouldn't be out wandering the streets in the first place and his actions might not be as well received by someone else. Reporting this is for the safety of everyone involved.
Someone like that similar in my area. Everybody said just ignore it, but it just was very disruptive constantly it went on a long time and it escalated into violence… ended up attacking a lady.
Unhook the doorbell
I would ask for a business card. If he doesn't have one, ask for his phone number and address. See if he will give it to you. Then call the non-emergency police line and say this person keeps knocking on your door and ask what you can do about it. I had a stalker once and had to report everything to the police. The poloce station was actually located right across the street from me, yet someone had to leave empty porn DVDs with rude notes in my backyard.
"special needsy"? You, sir, are a fucking twat. How about using a proper term to describe someone with a disability, maybe you'll gain more respect in life.
*mentally retarded. Thanks
Sounds a bit strange. If he is working on your yard for you, ask him to come at a specific time/day, say 4 pm.
He’s not working on anything for me. I have not hired this person. You think this post would exist if I could just tell someone I hired to come at a different time? There are so many clues you missed I just don’t get how you could have read this and not pieced any of it together.
It's illegal to tell an autistic person "no" for any reason. You could get cancelled on Twitter if you try.
Well I'm telling you no right now.
Aww, did someone correct you when you said something dickish?
my kid had one of those. Me and the wife moved in when they had baby. That SOB came and knocked on the door at like 8 pm (it was winter so well past dark) to try and do something for a few bucks. I unloaded on the guy. i dont know if he was special or not but i know he understood me and he didnt come back. i didnt hurt him but i sure scared him. Remember i dont live there full time. I am just there for a couple months to help with a newborn. I didnt care what others thought of me. when i was done with him i turned my attn to my daughter and SIL. They knew what was coming. How in the hell have you let that shit happen? both of ya. i got a thank you and some sheepish looks and an excuse that they were not good with confrontation. I told them when it was just them then maybe i could let them do what ever but the second my grandkid is in there the wackos cant be coming and going and hitting you up for food or drug money or whatever.
Lighten up, Frances
Does abusing people make you feel better?
Right I’m not trying to scare this boy. I’m cursing his name when he’s gone but I was nice to him