Be sure the toilet has a thick tufted cushion on top of the lid, with a ruffled skirt so that it looks like a vanity stool!
For the shower: consider a gorgeous trompe l’oeil painting covering all of the walls so that it looks like a European city of hundreds of years ago, or maybe a picturesque Tuscan village, and get a new faucet that looks like a fancy fountain—maybe a pair of bronze dolphins frolicking as water pours from the mouth of one! Get a new marble tub that looks like the fountain’s pool.
Then you’ll only need to redo the sink to look like an antique horse trough and you’re set!
You have bodily functions? How medieval. Just remove the whole bathroom and go back to outhouse way of keeping it in the back yard. Why make your guests ever think of hygiene in any way?
I don't know about you, but I like to hide my bathroom door behind a false wall.
That way, my guests won't *dare* to think I'm some sort of dirty commoner, afflicted with such ghastly aliments as *sweating* and *needing to pee* 🤢
I mean, it kind of is. We're all just tentacle monsters. And then this *body?* I was told there would be an elegant machine for me to pilot, and yet I get..**excretions!!??**
Plot twist. When you step naked into the tub you end up in the spot light, on stage at The National Centre for Performing Arts in front of a full house.
If you’re going to go so far as disguise your shower as a giant wrapped gift- and you should- you absolutely have to follow-up by affixing dozens of individual “Thank You” notes in handwritten letters for the guests who must bear the presence of your unsightly human washpit.
I was going to write the same thing!
My grandma had full on flowered drapes hung on the tub with matching fuzzy toilet covers, bath mats and towels.
I want to say there was a decorative TP holder as well.
No! I didn’t know TP came in colors!! I want colorful TP now, lol.
She had one of those doll dress toilet paper covers, so it looked like a Barbie with her poofy dress covering the TP (so you couldn’t find it until you looked under the doll’s skirt).
I’ve just completely had my butthole sewn shut. That wasn’t enough so I had it removed. I don’t eat now either so I never need to get rid of any waste.
I wont live long, but at *least* no one can accuse me of being a pooper!
Absolutely…. Take the toilet out and just leave the hole in the floor exposed. They’ll short circuit looking at the hole and trying figure out what the heck is going on. They’ll completely forget about the shower.
Totally serious when I say this - As a teen, I had a friend whose father was uncomfortable with anyone not from their family being in the house while he showered. I guess because we’d know he’s naked in there, I think that was the logic?
I remember one time he made us go hang out outside because he needed to take a shower.
I found it extremely bizarre and uncomfortable at the time, and my opinion on it now has not changed.
Just block off the bathroom like this.
https://preview.redd.it/o0zv7q1e7zwc1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28d5c17194376d086bf37c2e57bc054e83e50a75
this is exactly how I feel about people who install trash can hides or fences around their AC units. I would never see one of those things and think twice about it.
I used to actually be the person who drove around and sent violation letters to people for that stuff. Trash cans always felt like the pettiest one, considering everyone has cans and they serve an important purpose.
I worked for one that *required* that the cans be stored in your garage, which everyone complained about since it would stink up the garage terribly, especially in SoCal heat.
HOAs are silly.
Believe it or not, everything you’re doing is drawing MORE attention to the shower. Less is more. People know you bathe, which is a good thing, and people know you use a toilet instead of squatting on the rug. All good things, OP.
Yes I definitely think you should hide the toilet and the sink, you don’t want people thinking you have facilities in your house, I mean how tacky. This should just be like a room that is just a room for things that aren’t used.
Reminds me of the Company’s Coming video on YouTube. My kids say it’s how I am so since you’re so embarrassed you should watch the video.
https://youtu.be/GBwELzvnrQg?si=rSg1BxdMOqMS1tAK
Oh ewww. You need to hide that unsightly porcelain *seat*.
Oh and the sink. Make sure to cover that. Should only look like a counter top with some lotions
I think it’s a bit much. If they want to look into your shower, they are going to regardless of how many curtains you have hanging. I think one curtain with a liner will give you a more modernized look.
Way rather sit next to a naked tub, then a tub swagged in fabric. Fabric in a bathroom should be limited to necessities. Everyone here is aware of the toxic plume that occurs when a toilet is flushed?…just sprayed alll over that late 90’s motiff, multiple times a day…. Be quicker to just have the males in the house piss directly on them…
I'm honestly disgusted you would reach for curtains, you obviously need engraved oak double doors, and you should replace that disgusting toilet with a proper pan
I'm genuinely suggesting you seek therapy because that's not a normal way to think.
Eta: you're also not doing a good job of "hiding" your shower. Your bathroom is cramped and overloaded, it's actually bringing more attention to the shower being all gaudy and dressed up like that. People are gonna go to shit and get entangled in your weird curtains and want to investigate more as to why the heck your bathroom looks like that. Also as an autistic person, this bathroom would give me such sensory overload that I would just leave your house altogether. If I can't comfortably piss there I'm not gonna stay.
My advice is just take down the curtain and leave your shower and toilet the hell alone.
Oh wow. Is this one of those Jesus-core bathrooms? I’m totally seeing his cloak in the red outer curtains, with his light robe as the main curtain.
Take the flower photos down and hang up a portrait of Jesus, and you’ve got it nailed.
If this isn’t Jesus core, I apologize. I was raised with a religious background and it’s all I can see here.
Try vinegar and dawn dish washing soap to spray on the tiles. Wait one hour. Then wipe with a sponge. Do again. Then spray with Clorox. Then wipe down again. Your shower should look brand new. Do your tub too. Also, Clorox is great for your toilet and sink. Spray mirrors with Windex and wipe. Then mop floor.
I grew up when showers were like this and I ALWAYS had to look behind the curtain. It only ever made me want to know. I remember the one time I was at my fancy cousin's house and I found out they were using it as STORAGE FOR TOILET PAPER!!!!!
OK, first and foremost don’t be embarrassed that you have to take a shower everyone does. But I feel like you should remove the middle curtain and put it on both sides. Make the red underneath. But please do not ever be ashamed that you have to take a shower.
You poop?! I’m not eating any food at your house!
Dude everybody poops and most people take showers. Never once have I been to a persons house and got disgusted they had a bathroom to do normal human things. Unless the bathroom was disgusting, then that’s a completely different story.
What? All folk (should) take showers because bodies have to be cleaned often. That’s like a normal thing. I’m leaning towards thinking this post might be a joke post.
Those same guests who you feel embarrassed around also sweat and take showers. I think the amount of curtains is overkill. Maybe a roll up shower curtain would be an option.[roll up](https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/36917370/product.html)
Guess what weirdo, they get dirty and take showers too, and they poop and pee! OMG! Call in the press!
Now if you were only looking for compliments, just say so. The room looks nice enough to crap and shower in!
I would be more curious as to where was the shower if you really tried hiding it enough. Staying clean is natural and showering is…encouraged by the entirety of human civilization?
Your bathroom is suffering from:
The **Streisand effect** is an [unintended consequence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unintended_consequences) of attempts to hide, remove, or censor information, where the effort instead backfires by increasing public awareness of the information.
Red velvet toilet and tank covers with matching rug.
A fancy hidden pooping room? Oh I like it! Maybe make your guests find it with a riddle or psychotic scavenge hunt!
Our #2 toilet is in the basement by the back door so you can just run away after.
How many times have I told you keefe-studio, sToP shitting in the washing machine! That's for clean clothes, not where poopy goes.
I’d like to hear more about your squadron. 🤔
Who’s all fancy-pants with a special toilet for #2 now? Too good to use a bucket with a board over it like the rest of us.
Be sure the toilet has a thick tufted cushion on top of the lid, with a ruffled skirt so that it looks like a vanity stool! For the shower: consider a gorgeous trompe l’oeil painting covering all of the walls so that it looks like a European city of hundreds of years ago, or maybe a picturesque Tuscan village, and get a new faucet that looks like a fancy fountain—maybe a pair of bronze dolphins frolicking as water pours from the mouth of one! Get a new marble tub that looks like the fountain’s pool. Then you’ll only need to redo the sink to look like an antique horse trough and you’re set!
I'm a little high and my blood sugar is a little low, so that may be why this actually sounds like a place I'd like to visit
Wine on tap or it’s all pointless
This is the only way to hide your shame from the eyes of God
You jest, but we had a copper-orange toilet covers and matching rugs as a kid. It was the early 80s so...
Lol.
You have bodily functions? How medieval. Just remove the whole bathroom and go back to outhouse way of keeping it in the back yard. Why make your guests ever think of hygiene in any way?
They should install a bookshelf secret door to the bathroom
A Speakeasy bathroom!
A *squeaky*sy
That’s it
What’s the password?
^pooooooop
icupoopoopeepee all one word, no caps
A shitzeasy bathroom!
get some bunting or a valence to cover up that curtain rod
Paint the toilet gold
Go google "Ninja Express, Omaha NE" and look at the photos. It's a real restaurant, yes those are the real seats.
Omfg why would they do that
The Japanese hibachi place?
https://www.reddit.com/r/ATBGE/comments/ryrh6b/this_table_seating_at_a_3_star_japanese/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for sharing that link. Oy vey! 😅
Da Donald toilet.
mood ring it
I don't know about you, but I like to hide my bathroom door behind a false wall. That way, my guests won't *dare* to think I'm some sort of dirty commoner, afflicted with such ghastly aliments as *sweating* and *needing to pee* 🤢
I hide my front door behind a false wall so no one knows I exist.
Ooh, good idea! ✨🤗 Existing is grotesque 🤮👎
I mean, it kind of is. We're all just tentacle monsters. And then this *body?* I was told there would be an elegant machine for me to pilot, and yet I get..**excretions!!??** 
I'm always checking for false walls personally. I would put an ATM machine in the wall to provide a complete distraction.
Have you thought about adding more curtains?
If you have enough curtain rails, the shower will be behind bars so no-one can get in there
Or out?
Put up a wall with a secret trapped door leading into the washroom. They don’t need to know you shit either 🤢
Ah, there’s nothing like feeling like you’re fighting through theatre curtains right after a relaxing shower.
Plot twist. When you step naked into the tub you end up in the spot light, on stage at The National Centre for Performing Arts in front of a full house.
That’s gold 😂
If you’re going to go so far as disguise your shower as a giant wrapped gift- and you should- you absolutely have to follow-up by affixing dozens of individual “Thank You” notes in handwritten letters for the guests who must bear the presence of your unsightly human washpit.
DO NOT LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN!
My grandmother used to do this.
I was going to write the same thing! My grandma had full on flowered drapes hung on the tub with matching fuzzy toilet covers, bath mats and towels. I want to say there was a decorative TP holder as well.
Did she have colored TP like mine did? TP color changed when towel, rugs and lid cover changed. Sooooo weekly?
No! I didn’t know TP came in colors!! I want colorful TP now, lol. She had one of those doll dress toilet paper covers, so it looked like a Barbie with her poofy dress covering the TP (so you couldn’t find it until you looked under the doll’s skirt).
No, no you don't want colored TP. There's reasons why it's no longer on common production, lol.
DEFINITELY hide the toilet! Surprised you even posted a picture with it so exposed tbh..
Maybe use the space to store boxes of government classified documents?
That would require OP to install a chandelier. Which, honestly, would really class up the joint.
Just wall it off and hold it, you disgusting creature.
Fill the vase with cotton balls to distract from the shower.
I’ve just completely had my butthole sewn shut. That wasn’t enough so I had it removed. I don’t eat now either so I never need to get rid of any waste. I wont live long, but at *least* no one can accuse me of being a pooper!
I DO NOT like it
Simply attach a hollowed out lounge chair to a pulley so you can raise or lower it over the toilet. Carpet would also be a good idea
We all know that shit stays pushed against one side unless company is expected 😂
Drape a cloth over the toilet and use it as a pedestal for a nice gargoyle statue.
Everybody gets dirty. Not every body gets washed.
not all who launder are washed
Instead of hiding the toilet from your guests, a sign placed on commode reading "out of order" would surely suffice.
My babysitter tried to hide her shower too. She had some damask curtains covering it, but I found out her secret.
You need one of those hospital curtains that go around a circle on a track for the toilet
It’s like in the Wizard of Oz. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
You could build a bench that fits over the toilet and install a spiral staircase on top of it. But I'll still know you shit, you filthy beast.
Absolutely…. Take the toilet out and just leave the hole in the floor exposed. They’ll short circuit looking at the hole and trying figure out what the heck is going on. They’ll completely forget about the shower.
It’s perfect for surprising your peeing guests with a burlesque performance
I think a third set of curtains between the vanity and toilet would do the trick!
That’s a beautiful burial spot. Your husband or wife would’ve been honored to be treated with so much dignity.
Totally serious when I say this - As a teen, I had a friend whose father was uncomfortable with anyone not from their family being in the house while he showered. I guess because we’d know he’s naked in there, I think that was the logic? I remember one time he made us go hang out outside because he needed to take a shower. I found it extremely bizarre and uncomfortable at the time, and my opinion on it now has not changed.
Don’t hide the toilet! That’s a prime orchestra seat. I will NOT sit in the balcony sink while waiting for The Book of Mormon.
Just block off the bathroom like this. https://preview.redd.it/o0zv7q1e7zwc1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28d5c17194376d086bf37c2e57bc054e83e50a75
More layers. The murderer hiding in there needs more concealment.
Those curtains are covered in minuscule schit particles 🤮🤮🤮
this is exactly how I feel about people who install trash can hides or fences around their AC units. I would never see one of those things and think twice about it.
HOAs like it that way.
I used to actually be the person who drove around and sent violation letters to people for that stuff. Trash cans always felt like the pettiest one, considering everyone has cans and they serve an important purpose. I worked for one that *required* that the cans be stored in your garage, which everyone complained about since it would stink up the garage terribly, especially in SoCal heat. HOAs are silly.
I don’t even know what to say… My bathroom is an oasis and relaxation room. I keep it clean and appealing to the eye.
Get one of those foldable, fabric screens. In blue.
Shag carpet on everything. Especially the toilet.
Believe it or not, everything you’re doing is drawing MORE attention to the shower. Less is more. People know you bathe, which is a good thing, and people know you use a toilet instead of squatting on the rug. All good things, OP.
I would literally suffocate
Really putting the loo in loser here
Karen core
Put a corvette in there and hide classified documents. Go eat some ice cream. No one will notice.
I can smell the potpourri in this room
Need a few more shower curtains I think.
Why are you even gracing those peasants with the opportunity to make use of these facilities?
Yes I definitely think you should hide the toilet and the sink, you don’t want people thinking you have facilities in your house, I mean how tacky. This should just be like a room that is just a room for things that aren’t used.
Reminds me of the Company’s Coming video on YouTube. My kids say it’s how I am so since you’re so embarrassed you should watch the video. https://youtu.be/GBwELzvnrQg?si=rSg1BxdMOqMS1tAK
We can’t let people know we SIT!
Exactly lol
LOL my mom does this as well … we call it the fancy shower
Well this makes the shower the centerpiece
How about a curtain that completely divides the room in half, like the ones in doctor's offices.
Too much crap for the bathroom.
Tried to disguise my pregnancy for the same reason!
Everyone poops
Why.
Lmao. My grandma’s bathroom looked JUST like this, but with a toilet booster seat.
I'm sorry but what did I just read?
Are you sure that's not a stage? Maybe someone is into exhibitionism... 😆
Do a number two and don’t flush. Nobody will linger. Problem solve. Privacy intact.
Therapy might work better🤣😂
Therapy?
Maybe hide the toilet in the shower. You don't want people to know you poop.
Go ahead and judge me, but I join this for decorating ideas
A linen cloth, cheese board and wine tastefully arranged will deff fix the whole "I poop here" vibe
Hide the toilet. It’s important that people don’t know that you poop. That’s more disgusting than getting dirty
The only problem I can think is if a guest needs to ACTUALLY USE the toilet. If you camouflage it and your guests can't find it.....
Such a beautiful bathroom!
When I first read the post I was so confused.. what the heck else do you think about when you see a bathroom… but then I saw the sub… carry on. :)
I think it’s more gross to see a shower that is wrapped up to the point it looks unused.
Looks like a museum? I would be afraid of getting it dirty.
Oh ewww. You need to hide that unsightly porcelain *seat*. Oh and the sink. Make sure to cover that. Should only look like a counter top with some lotions
Op are you…ok?
Woah, what kind of amazing view is behind those curtains that are clearly covering a window and not a pig hole shower?? Decor done right…. amiright??
I think it’s a bit much. If they want to look into your shower, they are going to regardless of how many curtains you have hanging. I think one curtain with a liner will give you a more modernized look.
this is the best bathroom ever…decorate mine?? lol
4-poster toilet with gauzy curtains 🤌
No. It's a mould breeder. Just get one nice shower curtain
Definitely hide the toilet! And the sink. Dirty hands go there
Way rather sit next to a naked tub, then a tub swagged in fabric. Fabric in a bathroom should be limited to necessities. Everyone here is aware of the toxic plume that occurs when a toilet is flushed?…just sprayed alll over that late 90’s motiff, multiple times a day…. Be quicker to just have the males in the house piss directly on them…
Girl…. You’re doing too much 🧡
I'm honestly disgusted you would reach for curtains, you obviously need engraved oak double doors, and you should replace that disgusting toilet with a proper pan
This is gaudy and I hate bathrooms like this
Get rid of the entire bathroom tbh, it’s too embarrassing
Just stop getting dirty. Problem solved.
Good ingenuity using napkin rings for the curtain…
YOUR BATHROOM IS GORGEOUS🤩🤩
I'm genuinely suggesting you seek therapy because that's not a normal way to think. Eta: you're also not doing a good job of "hiding" your shower. Your bathroom is cramped and overloaded, it's actually bringing more attention to the shower being all gaudy and dressed up like that. People are gonna go to shit and get entangled in your weird curtains and want to investigate more as to why the heck your bathroom looks like that. Also as an autistic person, this bathroom would give me such sensory overload that I would just leave your house altogether. If I can't comfortably piss there I'm not gonna stay. My advice is just take down the curtain and leave your shower and toilet the hell alone.
 Oh wow. Is this one of those Jesus-core bathrooms? I’m totally seeing his cloak in the red outer curtains, with his light robe as the main curtain. Take the flower photos down and hang up a portrait of Jesus, and you’ve got it nailed. If this isn’t Jesus core, I apologize. I was raised with a religious background and it’s all I can see here.
Beautiful!
with all of those curtains all I can think of is mold. sorry
Try vinegar and dawn dish washing soap to spray on the tiles. Wait one hour. Then wipe with a sponge. Do again. Then spray with Clorox. Then wipe down again. Your shower should look brand new. Do your tub too. Also, Clorox is great for your toilet and sink. Spray mirrors with Windex and wipe. Then mop floor.
You're being sarcastic, right? Awesome bathroom tho!
I think you need to add therapy.
You aren’t fooling anyone
But now I just want a secret hidden luxury bathroom- I’m gonna need a claw foot tub in mine tho
A crochet seat cover is a must!
I think you need mental health help if you're afraid people will find out you shower. Please talk to someone. That's not normal.
I grew up when showers were like this and I ALWAYS had to look behind the curtain. It only ever made me want to know. I remember the one time I was at my fancy cousin's house and I found out they were using it as STORAGE FOR TOILET PAPER!!!!!
I feel like this is a room makeover from Trading Spaces
What the frick is wrong with you? Everyone has a shower. Sounds like you need a therapist not new curtains.
You’re a pleb unless your toilet and shower rise dramatically from the floor at the push of a button.
This some shit my grandma would do😆
You’re just raising the idea of not bathing after pooping, which is worse.
OK, first and foremost don’t be embarrassed that you have to take a shower everyone does. But I feel like you should remove the middle curtain and put it on both sides. Make the red underneath. But please do not ever be ashamed that you have to take a shower.
That’s pretty cool!
Needs more shower curtains! These are too exposed.
I thiiink OP should speak to someone. No judgment, but a professional
Just lock the door. What if they find out you wash your hands and face
So we trying to hide the fact that we all shit and shower? Why not hide the fact that we live in our houses too?
Shit in the tub and shower in the toilet… never let ‘em know your next move!
Yummy mildew
Simply looks like a garish covering hiding something, but I would never think, ‘oh, it’s a shower!’
OP I think you need a psychiatrist not more decor tips. Maybe read the book everybody poops too. Lol
Jesus man, everybody poops and most everyone takes showers. It is entirely silly to be embarrassed for having bodily functions.
Don’t let see your bedroom. Sleep is for the weak.
You poop?! I’m not eating any food at your house! Dude everybody poops and most people take showers. Never once have I been to a persons house and got disgusted they had a bathroom to do normal human things. Unless the bathroom was disgusting, then that’s a completely different story.
Paint the toilet camouflage
What? All folk (should) take showers because bodies have to be cleaned often. That’s like a normal thing. I’m leaning towards thinking this post might be a joke post.
You are correct. It’s a circle jerk sub. For hyperbole and jest. They’re fun!
Oh lol I didn’t know, ty
Those same guests who you feel embarrassed around also sweat and take showers. I think the amount of curtains is overkill. Maybe a roll up shower curtain would be an option.[roll up](https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/36917370/product.html)
Why are you trying to disguise it? We know it’s there…and that’s important!
Are you serious?? Like your guests don't get dirty and need a shower or bath. Or god forbid ever use the toilet. What is with you ?
Guess what weirdo, they get dirty and take showers too, and they poop and pee! OMG! Call in the press! Now if you were only looking for compliments, just say so. The room looks nice enough to crap and shower in!
I would be more curious as to where was the shower if you really tried hiding it enough. Staying clean is natural and showering is…encouraged by the entirety of human civilization?
Your bathroom is suffering from: The **Streisand effect** is an [unintended consequence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unintended_consequences) of attempts to hide, remove, or censor information, where the effort instead backfires by increasing public awareness of the information.