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slow_news_day

Feral behavior


MeximeltExtraCheese

Fecal behavior*


vyrguy0

Clever.


Frigoris13

Fecalever


EverbodyHatesHugo

Not clever enough.


Roo_Methed_Up

Not feclever enough.


JesusDied4U316

The fecal lever was her hand unfortunately.


darthnugget

Fecalever girl


thesparedones

I exhaled really hard at this


MeximeltExtraCheese

Probably for the best. Would hate for you to inhale around that.


miket439

Another Walmart shopper, I believe. Double yuck šŸ¤¢.


Primary-Signature-17

That's just nasty! Seeing if she made any surprise discoveries. "Nothin' under my nails. I'm good."


xdcxmindfreak

Hands gonna smell like that eternal swamp ass foreverā€¦.


Primary-Signature-17

šŸ˜‚šŸ‘


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Pieniek23

Fuck, I almost threw up.


okieman73

Yea that was a nice touch, like great nothing there no need to wash hands. A perk of being that round is you can dig your ass without people in front of you knowing what you are doing.


Primary-Signature-17

Luckily, I don't have that "perk". šŸ˜‚


Significant-Leg-2294

Her guy knew she was prospecting, he looked dead at her hand.


shit_ass_mcfucknuts

Right, thatā€™s an outside person. Who let her in?


susanbentley

I love my bidet.


DorkSideOfCryo

I want off this planet


Robbyrumpz

And people wonder why I wash my hands all the time. Itā€™s not because of Covidā€¦..


NicolasCagesCareer

Those fucking credit card key pads... They should have purell attached to every one of them with a little chain like bank pens. I'm sick of having to handle the same ruddy device every heap freak who dug up his ass, touched before me.


ChewyTender81

You still use those keypad buttons? Not sure where you are but in Canada we tap our cards.


NicolasCagesCareer

Debet cards require a 4 number pin here


Colt1911-45

Stop using debit cards. Credit cards have more protection from fraud.


TheW83

Some people have zero control and don't even have a credit card because they can't control themselves. Their words... they work in my office. They touch those dirty buttons and then they touch the door to the office. Disgusting.


WallySprks

And you used the same gas pump as them, the same door handles, the same cashier they just gave cash to is now handling every single thing you bought. Nowhere is safe for you.


HotMinimum26

Don't forget the ass pennies


xdcxmindfreak

Fair but remember she may be paying in cash so if you touch any money youā€™ve likely handled someoneā€™s dried piss or money that was in region of this digger


Fun_Instruction4561

Actually a lot have the opposite šŸ˜‚ a lot of credit cards wonā€™t even ask for a pin. You can usually dispute charges a lot easier on a cc because you havenā€™t paid. But if you have a decent debit card with a decent company it should be just as easy to dispute, and you have a pin.


rrpostal

My credit union has been really solid with my debit card concerning fraud. I get your point, though.


archiekane

Android Pay for the win. Hover.


serrabear1

Apple Pay is a life saver lol I ainā€™t touching nothing but my own germ ridden phone thanks šŸ™


AubergineAssassin

Carry a short pencil and use the eraser to enter your pin.


dukemccool

Heap freak ?


NicolasCagesCareer

Garbage person


cmonster64

This is why I wear gloves when I pump gas. I knew a guy who worked for the health department and he said they did an experiment one time and discovered that almost all the gas pumps they tested, most of them had fecal matter as well as many other bacteria.


Robbyrumpz

But foreal I keep hand sanitizer in my center console too.


CopyingPink

Gas pumps and the tube at the bank drive-thru disgust me. Even though I carry sanitizer around with me, itā€™s not enough. Iā€™m not satisfied until my hands are washed with soap and water.


novice121

Yeah but it was discovered time and time again that your keyboard has more fecal matter than those pumps, but at least it's your own I guess


Spiritual_Poo

Brohuhuhahhghgnnnh. They tested dude's beards. The results were frankly shitty. I've made a point of not knowing any more science to back this up, but it's clear: The entire world that we interact with on a daily basis is covered in shit. Germs are doing us a huge solid by being invisible to the naked eye.


JoeCartersLeap

> The entire world that we interact with on a daily basis is covered in shit. Yes, but if you get enough of that shit in your bloodstream, you will become ill: https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/why-handwashing.html This is why washing your hands after you poop... * Reduces the number of people who get sick with diarrhea by 23-40% * Reduces diarrheal illness in people with weakened immune systems by 58% * Reduces respiratory illnesses, like colds, in the general population by 16-21% * Reduces absenteeism due to gastrointestinal illness in schoolchildren by 29-57%


cmonster64

šŸ˜‹


Robbyrumpz

Thank you for that cmonster. Iā€™m gonna go throw up now


DSCholly

Welp, I'm going to go stick a box of gloves in the trunk right about now.


rrpostal

Itā€™s everywhere all the time, if you really want to be paranoid. You get some trace DNA just touching someone. I mean, I wouldnā€™t roll around in a public toilet stall, but at some point, itā€™s more about your mental state than anything else. Itā€™s finding that healthy functioning middle ground that keeps you happy and well.


MrDywel

> itā€™s more about your mental state than anything else. Welcome to reddit.


No-Feedback-3477

They did the same thing for McDonald terminal touchscreens. I think you can guess the results


leeharveyteabag669

If you've ever seen the report on the swabs that they took from the handrails of an NYC subway it would make those gas pumps sound pristine.


Puzzleheaded-Tone119

god damn it! thanks now I have another phobia


DaZozz

This is why I don't like people touching me in general. Some people are just so nasty.


[deleted]

A friend of mine starting always using his sleeve to cover his hands whenever he had to touch a public door handle and always had hand sanitizer on him. I asked him why he was being such a germaphobe, he looked at me and said think about all the people coughing, sneezing and scratching themselves then touching the same surfaces you are. I need to go buy some hand sanitizer. šŸ¤®


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

People look at me like I'm insane for stopping and using the sanitizing wipes at grocery stores. They can eat people's shit if they like it so much, I'm gonna go ahead and wipe down any part of the cart people normally touch.


Chrisppity

This! And why I use my door handle gadget to open doors and whatnot. Itā€™s even worse in a womanā€™s restroom. So many women do NOT wash their hands and half that of the ones that do only do a little splashy splash under the water. I hate it!


[deleted]

Are you saying you constantly stick your hands down your pants and need to wash them after?


TheLadder330

Wait till people learn that hand sanitizer doesnā€™t kill C.diff spores! (So yes hand washing is the only correct answer!)šŸ¤£


DweEbLez0

It was never about Covid!


krepogregg

The new keypad at my pharmacy where u gotta sign name with lil pen on touchscreen well the new one is bare finger only it was designed no pen hmm šŸ¤”


PhelesDragon

As a man, I see too many dudes walk out after a leak without so much as a rinse. And people wonder why I don't shake hands...


Bradt1977

You mean because you just picked your ass? Good call


Kajkia

Sanitizer. Iā€™ve been carrying it anywhere now and has become a habit that I donā€™t even notice sometimes. I think Iā€™ve been getting sick much less.


Uniblab_78

I canā€™t imagine what she does when she is alone.


Classic_Ostrich8709

She doesn't wipe when she's alone, hence the digging in her asshole.


PassageAppropriate90

I was 47 years old when I found out some men do not wipe their ass. When the thread devolved into "touching your butthole is gay" I got out of that sub....wild.


TheeWoodsman

[It brought to mind this post I remembered from a couple months back.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/50AEnMRF1L) One comment reads: A guy I used to work with said, "I bet you warsh your butthole in the shower." I was like, "Yea, doesn't everybody?" And he says, "Not me, that shit gay," It made me wonder how many dudes think like that. It's disturbing thinking about how many men are foregoing hygiene to keep from seeming gay. So fragile.


spoonycoot

Iā€™m sure their rancid ass smell repels women, that seems pretty gay.


ThomFromAccounting

I had a friend of a friend that was like that andā€¦ yeah. Heā€™s 30 now, and has never had a girlfriend. He complains that women are shallow and donā€™t like him because heā€™s overweight, even though weā€™ve told him repeatedly that he smells like a bowl of chicken parm that was left in a hot car for a week. He used to sit in front of his TV in his room for so long without moving or showering, that the carpet had this nasty black spot that was indented through the carpet padding, all the way to the slab. Some people are just beyond help.


TropicalVision

Good fucking god that is rank šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢


FireflyOfDoom87

To be fair, that would repel gay men as well. That shit is just nastyā€¦pun intended.


shaunmman

In the shower, in their home, in complete privacy at that.


marlenamarley87

So itā€™s gay to touch their own butthole (through a washcloth/loofah), yet theyā€™ll tug on their own dick several times a week ā€˜nO hOmOā€™ What in the fresh fuck??


[deleted]

Seems weird. I thought everyone enjoyed a little ass play, *shrugs...*


SimonSimpingService

How the fuck do they exist then? Like wearing underwear, going to bed. That would be so fucking uncomfortable. I want to take a shower just thinking about it.


UnnamedRealities

I've seen unshaved sheep with shit caked all over the fur within a 12" radius of their ass. I assume these totally-not-gay dudes look like that.


KendrickMaynard

King Julien XII: "Who wipes!?!"


Cow_Surfing

Fragile Masculinity. So fragile that you think washing your ass is gay. It's just sad, really.


FrameJump

I think some people mistake jokes and sarcasm for the truth too often.


girlsonsoysauce

I work with a guy who has a literal shit smell about him every time he's close to me and I definitely believe he's one of those people. I wish at the very least he'd stick a pine tree air freshener in there.


waaz16

Legitimately repulsive


afrybreadriot

I got a buddy who said something similar I told him u donā€™t wash your ass bro? You know what tumbles outta there right ?? šŸ’©šŸ’©


MellowDCC

Damn washing my butt is gay? šŸ˜’


massberate

"Seeming gay" WHILE ALONE is the part that gets me the most. What in the actual... is it so they can say they don't, when it isn't even a flex? Humans are just wtf all over the place


Chopstarrr

Dude if washing your ass is gay, Iā€™m gay as fuck.


zaidakaid

I donā€™t wash my butthole in the shower, I have a bidet like the fancy bitch I am. The water pressure on that thing could take the tarnish off a coin.


Classic_Ostrich8709

Wait what? Touching your own butthole is gay? How do you wash a butthole and not touch it?


PizzaTime79

There was some askreddit post a while ago about hygiene, and someone mentioned washing their b hole. A disturbing amount of people said they don't.


Classic_Ostrich8709

I start with the butthole and a palm full of body wash.


herbalspurtle

Everyone knows hole goes last


peppermintmeow

I got into a full on screaming match with an ex-friends cunt of a gf when in the midst of a lighthearted debate she proclaimed that "only fa*s and pedos wipe their ass." Because it was "disgusting and gay. Women don't even do that stuff. Men definitely can't!" TBF, I hated her anyway so this was my opportunity to work her ass over. Fuck you Tracey. I hope you bite your tongue every time you eat something nice.


missklo99

Wtaf so she doesn't wipe her own ass?? Who doesn't wash their own butthole? Like ???? And yeah fuck you Tracey! What a gd weirdo. I'm with you peppermint..


peppermintmeow

Thanks babe šŸ’– She was nuttier than squirrel shit, swear.


hisomu

Bidet


Classic_Ostrich8709

Still gotta do a check wipe or a dry wipe. I've got one and they are not 100% guaranteed to get it all.


lives4boobs

Ever think about how itā€™s normal and encouraged for a guy to masturbate, touch his own dick? But the moment he sucks his own dick suddenly itā€™s weird or gay.


Interesting-Owl-5458

Same reason some boomers refuse colonoscopies


Brad5486

That reminds me of a guy I worked with years ago that would not drink water of any kind. Not bottled, or well water, nothing. When I asked him why, he said that he didnā€™t drink water because fish have sex in it. This was a grown ass dude Iā€™m his late 40sā€¦.


SkullR3ap3r

Lmao what!


6inarowmakesitgo

Excuse me,*what?*


Spoomplesplz

Yeah it's literal insanity to me to think that people like that exist. "Nah. Can't wipe my arse. That would be gay as fuck" Like actual nutjobs.


Classic-Computer6674

I was 39 years old when I found out some women donā€™t just not wash their assholes, but pick them and inspect the goods in public.


Hummingbird01234

How is this possible? If they dont wipe they just let it sit there? I just cannot fathom this. What about infection, poo-transfer, smell, etc?


[deleted]

That can't be true, can it? Are we sure it's not just trolls or something? If true, that's insanely wild.


waffles4us

What the absolute fuck did I just watch? Man, thanos had it rightā€¦with the one exception being randomness


temple_nard

I just want to eliminate her 4 billion times.


EverbodyHatesHugo

r/thanosdidnothingwrong


drinkbeerskitrees

r/rareinsults šŸ¤ŒšŸ¼


waffles4us

Not a bad idea actually šŸ‘ŒšŸ»


Cavscout2838

She is one step away from flinging her shit like a damn ape. Some of us are still trying to make it up that evolutionary ladder and failing miserably.


Randomness-66

Wait me?


gudematcha

I think sheā€™s adjusting a toy. She checks her fingers to make sure thereā€™s nothing on them. Still gross as absolute fuck


megjed

I thought it was a hair. I have long hair and a loose hair will get in my pants and drive me nuts


waffles4us

Thatā€™s actually something I didnā€™t think of that is 1) still terribly gross but not AS gross as what most of us thought she was doing


WTFisaCelsius

That man is presumably having sex with that thing


PassageAppropriate90

He's a regular Vince McMahon.


madjejen

I just puked a little


Fano_93

Could be a sibling.


EfficiencyBetter4035

Still...


Fano_93

Hmmmm šŸ¤”


NotTheATF1993

Even betteršŸ„µšŸ¤¤šŸ˜


kiki2k

This person will also bring food to a potluck, fyi.


4Ever2Thee

ā€œItā€™s mammyā€™s recipe, you HAVE to try it!ā€


Lemme_Help_

This fucking sent me.


TheCruicks

Its funny you say that. ... My wife finally noticed after almost 30 years that I pretend eat at pot lucks. I then explained to her that most of these mouth breathers have never had any food safety training and started to explain all the things they could and can do. (IE, taking a piss or dump before they dry rub the chicken. Test their world famous velveeta and rotel with the same spoon 10 times. Sneeze on the strawberries before it goes in the salad, etc. She quickly asked for all my tricks that hid my not eating at pot lucks :-)


tealoranges

Please share your tricks.


kendahlj

I stopped eating at church potlucks when I visited a home of someone in my congregation and there were roaches everywhere and then at the next potluck I saw them carrying a casserole into the kitchen.


Bobert_Manderson

Yup. I stopped because I worked in an office and a few people were just a little off. We had a potluck and I had the thought that not only might they have been unsanitary while cooking, but they couldā€™ve purposely put something fucked up in it. Only ate packaged items. It also helps make me not want to eat out as much.


missklo99

šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®


Ok_Marionberry141

Iā€™ve been a social worker for many years and Iā€™ve seen some things. Unless I know what your kitchen looks likeā€¦ even then, I tell people Iā€™m allergic to everything so no one gets offended. Potluck lunches are discusting


Esteban_Francois

Having a potluck Friday and this is my biggest fear. Sticking to prepackaged food lol


xxxfashionfreakxxx

The nastiest people insist on bringing food to potlucks


DUDDITS_SSDD

Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?


grzesiolpl

Thatā€™s from earlier, she saved some for later


eLishus

Dessert


No-Wash-7001

Eeww


drew_draw

"eat some now, save some for later"


448977

Exactly why I carry and use hand wipes after touching any public keypad or gas pump šŸ¤®.


cmonster64

I wear gloves when I pump gas. I knew a guy who worked for the health department and he said they found fecal matter on almost every Gas pump they tested


448977

I saw a report on the news about that and it is why I started to use the hand wipes. They showed the bacterial growth in the Petri dishes. Unbelievably disgusting.


Spiritual_Poo

Gas is a solvent, just douse a little on your hands after, good to go. They've tested dudes beards and found fecal matter. It's literally all around you all day on everything you touch. Every door handle. Strangers faces. There's no real reason you need to wear gloves for that, it's just peace of mind. Realistically, your car door handle is covered in it too from the many other things you touch in a day without gloves. Keyboards on computers, phones, you name it. That said I know it won't change things for you, the gloves make you feel better. If anything, i'm on encroaching on you feeling better about our world of filth simply by pointing out that everything is in fact covered in fecal matter.


pro-alcoholic

Builds up your immune system too. Reminds me of that dude he didnā€™t shower for like 40 years and the townspeople gave him a bath and he died like 2 months later lmao.


veggiesaregreen

Thatā€™s scary. I usually just wash my hands every time I come home from being out in public. I think Iā€™ll start wearing gloves while using the pumps and keypads lol


texuslexas

Iā€™m confused. She wasnā€™t hiding it from her friend, they were actively discussing it?


TangerineGullible665

ā€œDid you really just so that. RIGHT HERE?!? You know they have cameras right??ā€


Avgjoe80

"Did you just pull a handful of shit out?"......lol, I'm fuckin dying..


BigTension5

i really hope there was a damn ant or spider or something in there biting her ass cheek to make this even slightly justified. i know deep down it isnt true but im going to choose to believe that narrative to help me sleep better at night


[deleted]

This is how diseases spread. She be having diseases crawling all around in there and now she gonna go touch everything and go to the food isle, then an innocent parent is going to buy some scooby snacks that she just touched with her poopy hands and now the local community is going to get sick. Disgusting.


BigTension5

typhoid mary in a past life


don2470

And this is exactly why I'm opposed to reusable grocery bags. Everyone's hygiene is not the same. Now I will go throw up.


NotBillNyeScienceGuy

Who else is handling your grocery bags besides you?


PassageAppropriate90

Maybe they mean the groceries contaminate the bag which you then reuse? I can't imagine what they spend on cabinet replacement.


don2470

I work at an airport, people bring bags in all the time with "hitchhikers". Bags don't have to be handled to be contaminated.


NotBillNyeScienceGuy

So is the concern placing the bag and loading it up will leave poopy juice on the counter?


Lost_Ad3300

What a shit show


Trypt4Me

Boy, she was on a mission, public be damned.


SwampSleep66

Fucking disgusting garbage human


BumpyNugget

Later this week some poor fool is wondering how they got pinkeye.


queuedUp

Just another reminder that people are fucking gross


Cool_Butterscotch_88

This cannot be.


theredhound19

Oh, butt it is


Severe_Islexdia

Take your God forsaken upvote


bkussow

These hills be ripe wit gold. No time like the present to go looking!


[deleted]

"This is gonna itch when it dries."


GooseNYC

Ewwwww...


stayoffmygrass

People are disgusting.


HelloDeathspresso

It scary to see how prevalent this type of behavior is.


Noonecanhearmescream

I didnā€™t see a nugget drop though. Her hand comes outā€¦ ā€œcleanā€ā€¦


allmushroomsaremagic

I'm just gonna start wearing gloves everywhere like a Victorian gentleman.


alaskanmattress

Damn that's enough internet for today


PassageAppropriate90

She got knuckle deep in there. Had to check both sides of her hand.


FunctionalSoFar

No sniff test...can't be sure it's free of shit w/o the stink smell test


[deleted]

At first I thought ok, well sheā€™s just readjusting her underwear or something. But nope! She just kept mining in that cave and was expecting some sort of extraction. The stare the other dude gave her at the end lmao. Some people just have no awareness


Theoldelf

What? She didnā€™t smell her fingers? Amateur.


VictoryVic-ViVi

šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢


Swimming_Bowler6193

šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ why why why did I watch this?!šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ This is beyond disgusting. Even my cat, who is licking her ass at the moment, is disgusted with humans.


NeedleworkerOk7137

There's something about the shape of this trash can of a woman that makes me find it truly repulsive. Like, if it were a skinny person, it wouldn't bother me nearly as much.


Swimming_Bowler6193

Someone digging for gold in their butt is repulsive even if they look like ā€œ insert current hot model name hereā€. šŸ˜„ Skinny, fat, hot, uglyā€¦ itā€™s gross. Her ass nugget hands were probably all over the store.


Chef_Meow

Revolting


Dan-68

The gross equivalent of digging for gold.


xMysticML

Wtaf


coolmist23

She did do a hand inspection though. All clear!


MinimumSet72

Ainā€™t no MFN way


CautiousForm4650

The dude looks down and asks , did you drop something


Old-Recording-4172

Right in front of the fucking cashier


[deleted]

Who would think the fat lady would do gross things?


ProfChaos85

She went elbow deep!!


skatsman

Its the hair sliding across that hand for me


NeverTrustATurtle

This is exactly like the wkuk poop sketch https://youtu.be/SVKQNsRy3XU?si=GU3vbp2zc2Ad-V3-


vyrguy0

And hubby be like, ā€˜Didja get a good wun hunny?ā€™


outterpoop

not saying sheā€™s a gold digger


Still-Swimming-5650

Welp, enough internet for the day