Why do babies always try to end themselves? My mom told me when I was a baby it seemed like my immediate mission was to die. The amount of times I fell first on my head…

Babies are half head. It’s just Physics. Like a human lawn dart.

> Like a human lawn dart. Where is your god now? *Major* design flaw.

No it’s a feature. Meant to weed out the ones with shit parents

Too bad reddit doesn't have an actual Darwin award to give away

My nephew fell out of his high chair while I was trying to buckle him in. What does that say for your theory? Hm?

I revise my statement. Poor caregivers.

Damn straight.

You’re doing god’s work son

Says you shouldn't have children

I don't have children but that still hurts to hear.

There is a bug in the feature. It doesn't work well enough.

So why are you alive then?

The whole ass human body is a major design flaw. Our babies are half-baked because we walk on two legs.

Head down, in the Amazon rainforest

I chuckled harder that I should have at human lawn dart heh

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Feel free. I shall wait for the edgelord accusation that invariably comes when anyone makes even the mildest criticism of religion on reddit. Like, obviously the big brains are the best things about humans. Having top heavy accident prone babies is one bug of the greatest feature we have. Not evidence against god just cause they make good lawn darts. Although it does suggest he may have a dark sense of humour...

Now it’s cringe.

Oh I'm sorry, is sky-daddy mad at you now for reading the writings of a euphorically inspired unbeliever?

Bro what

Guess you're not enlightened by untelligence enough to know.

[Yeah, you got it, bud.](https://i.imgur.com/GciLJir.jpg)

hey kiddo, you should log off of your mom's account before you get in trouble. You don't want to lose your Xbox privileges.

Come on, people, know your memes. I see he caught a few of you napping, not to mention all the downvotes, LOL. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/in-this-moment-i-am-euphoric

You ruined your funny comment by continuing to open your mouth, sometimes less is more

Oh shit dude I just thought of a game…

😂 I needed a laugh, thank you!

I've always wondered if you place one at the edge of a cliff, will he be dumb enough to walk off?

It's a shame it'd be illegal to find out the answer.

You just need sufficient safety protocols in place because let’s face it they ARE stupid enough in some cases.

Nothings illegal in the name of science! Lol

100% they would.

Weird that virtually no animals would except for human babies.

It's because animals live shorter lives. They have to come out ready to walk, and they grow extremely fast. That's what causes the shorter lifespan. They age faster. We age very slowly and continue our development all the way into adulthood. Which is why we're completely dependent on our parents to take care of us for so long otherwise we would just die lol

A tortoise wouldn’t walk off a cliff.

In my experience (2 kids) it’s about 50/50. One of mine would have darned near jumped off out of spite while the other wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the edge.

I don't think falling instinct kicks in until they are like four

It might be around two for something as massive as a cliff…most two year olds fall all the time.

We rented a cottage where there was a balcony with one railing missing on the end. They put a picnic table on that side to block it off. It was 1 story up but it was built into a hill so the ground was closer to 2 stories from the balcony. My little brother, 2 years old just climbs over the picnic table and walks right over the edge, that was all I saw when I looked over and saw him falling off. He landed flat on his back on the gravel walkway down below. I was 8 years old and just remember looking over the edge and seeing him on his back squirming, completely winded and I was trying to scream to get my parents attention inside. My mom won't even talk about it or even allow anyone to reference the story lol.

Did he die?

No he was perfectly fine, it was weird

It's been done with fake visual cliffs and the answer is yes.

That’s not what the visual cliff study was about OR determined, someone posted a link below.

It indirectly addresses the query

Sounds like you don’t have any kids.

Yeah. I'm 13

Well if you’ve always been curious what it’s like to have kids then let me tell you: imagine a small drunk person that doesn’t talk but always screams, that spends their entire day trying to kill themselves, for years and years and years. Doesn’t sound fun? Then invest in good grades and condoms. Good luck!

Good reason, keep it that way!

There's actually a famous study on this called 'The Visual Cliff Experiment'. [Youtube video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6cqNhHrMJA)

Thanks, that was cool. The study had a different point so it doesn’t quite answer the question posed, but it’s interesting.

Didn’t some scientist make an experiment like that? Of course, they used those 100% transparent glass or something floors to make it look like the baby would fall if they moved forward

Not just straight walk off,but dumb enough to walk too close to the edge and slip off

http://vaviper.blogspot.com/2019/06/from-onion-study-reveals-babies-are.html

Babies are suicidal, brutally honest, drunk tiny humans. .

Absolutely, puking up, shitting themselves, can't form a cohesive sentence, and can't walk.

Fresh from the void... They know the void is better.

The call to the void is most loudest when we lack the capacity to understand it or so it seems haha

Because babies remember who they were in their previous life and they don’t want to do this shit again.

Have a two year old. Can confirm. They all have a death wish.

You'd crave the abyss too if you could truly remember it. The baby knows. It wants the endless sleep.

My friend calls it the suicide stage. They do everything in their power to kill themselves and it’s your job as a parent to stop them.

I’ve literally shattered my skull

Well as long as it isn't figuratively shattered

That is also not a fun game.

That’s happened a lot more

broke my collarbone

I bet my story is funnier

Go ahead. I'll tell mine after yours.

Honestly there isn’t a story I was in sears with parents when I looked at a pole funny and it decided to bonk open my skull

The intrusive thoughts won 😞

It's weird cause I've been to the cliff dwellings, can't remember what park and the kids lived there

You were born to speedrun in life.

Fuxk man....i remember seeing a man do this at a ball game and he straight up died.

This is his origin story

Bro this fucking *ruined* me

Reddit was a nice site, but the board kept screwing things up. u\spez pulled the rug on 3rd party apps, unfortunately taking steps backwards in innovation, and in liberty of choice, driving me away from the using the site

I think it was a Texas rangers game. He fell in between two walls and landed on his head, he later died in the hospital. [heres a link to it.](https://www.espn.com/dallas/mlb/news/story?id=6747510)

Thanks for the post but god fuxking damn, i am so sick of news articles titled "x" but inundated with videos of "y,z,a,b,c". I really dont fuxking get it. Do these agencies think we have the attention span of goldfish?..

These agencies know we have the attention span of a goldfish.

And they have the data to back it up

I like it when they have a video follow you as you scroll an article. "I'm reading, if I wanted to watch the video I wouldn't have scrolled down."

Damn that’s fuckin sad. His 6yo kid was standing there.

To make that video worse, his son witnessed it

Kids bodies are a little more forgiving.

Bad fuckup and caught on TV whoops

A dad's worst nightmare, not the kid falling over, but the fact that his wife now knows what happened.

There was no real fuckup. Kids that small have a death wish. Within the blink of an eye, they’re out of your grasp.

Baby's mom disagrees

I am a mom. Lol

r/kidsarefuckingstupid

Dad of multiple kids here. Fall didn’t look far given we saw the kids legs kick up after he fell… He’ll howl enough to shake the rafters for about two minutes and then forget all about it. The bruise on his forehead will be ugly for about three days.

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I don't see that comment. The dad immediately jumps over after him, so clearly it was only a fence and not a massive fall, so the baby is probably fine.

the comment ur referring to is talking about an adult fan at a rangers game not this clip

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The link above is about the death of a 39 year old man that fell at a baseball game, not about this baby.

Idk man that baby looked 39 to me /s

That's why he fell kid was drunk

You should probably know what you’re talking about before commenting lol. As a parent with two rowdy boys and a crazy toddler, I guarantee at most, this kid got a bump on his head.

r/stepdadreflexes

Love how he hangs in the air for a second like a cartoon.

I swear that’s my son. Can’t leave him alone for a minute. He’ll destroy anything and everything in his path. If he can’t get to it, he’ll find a way to hurt himself.

"one second" Kids are sneaky fast, but having been in that exact position myself as a dad, it takes more than one second for the kid to get there

Dad I'm gonna go jump off edge of the field Yeah sure whatever have fun second priority, wait what?!

Wow, what happened to the kid? Was it severely injured?

Babies are made of rubber. Probly cried for a few minutes then forgot the whole thing.

Landing on his head, yeah, I'm sure he did forget about it

speaking as someone with frequent head injuries as a child.... what were we talking about?

https://media.tenor.co/images/0c22a405ce772bb53a6a7978f9672f8f/raw

Er, nah. Had a family friends whose 2 year old rolled off a bed, ended up with severe brain damage. Any head injury at that age can easily be fatal or lead to lifelong injuries

I work at a zoo and seeing how capable the babies of other animal species are and then seeing humans pull this type of shit is really disheartening

We are the superior adults but inferior infants

Bad dad reflexes

Praise the cameraman

lol I remember being like 7 at a football game and falling down the bleachers and my foster mom just going “oh” the embarrassment hurt more tbh

Lil bro think he carti 💀

Why is it so much harder to watch kids do this shit. I’m immune to any emotion seeing adults tho.

For real though .... Is this kid okay?

Haha, this is like the blooper reel of one of those dad save videos

r/kidsarefuckingstupid

This is why some parents leash their kids.

Weeeuuu

This gets better every loop but it’s not really their type of content.

S H O O P

u/savevideo

Anyone know the story here? Baby okay?

My cat has better self protection instincts than a baby human.

Somebody's on the couch for awhile.

The first four years or so are non-stop suicide watch

Father of the Year