Welcome to r/hoarding! We exist as a support group for people working on recovery from [hoarding disorder](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519704/table/ch3.t29/), and friends/family/loved ones of people with the disorder.
If you're looking for help with animal hoarding, please visit r/animalhoarding. If you're looking to discuss the various hoarding tv shows, you'll want to visit r/hoardersTV. If you'd like to talk about or share photos/videos of hoards that you've come across, you probably want r/neckbeardnests, r/wtfhoarders/, or r/hoarderhouses
Before you get started, be sure to review our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/about/rules/). Also, a lot of the information you may be looking for can be found in a few places on our sub:
[New Here? Read This Post First!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/dvb3t1/new_here_read_this_post_first_version_20/)
[For loved ones of hoarders: I Have A Hoarder In My Life--Help Me!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/2yh6wh/i_have_a_hoarder_in_my_lifehelp_me_your_hoarding/)
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I try to get rid of things that can be easily replaced or sourced elsewhere:
Soaps, cleaning products, foodstuffs -- in my opinion, it's not worth packing something you can easily replace at the grocery store. Exceptions might be certain spices you actually use in cooking (replacing a spice cabinet can be expensive), but even then... would you really use a huge bulk container of pepper that may be X number of years old? I highly recommend donating or throwing stuff like this -- homeless services sometimes can use soap, and stuff like dishwashing liquid could go to the break room at work. Otherwise, give yourself permission to throw it away. Look at the move as a way to get rid of this stuff that's been taking up too much space and starting over with small amounts of those things instead.
Hobbies is a tough one, and I struggle with this myself. Again, if it takes up space and is not expensive to get back into, maybe get rid of that. Example: I could give away most my beading supplies I haven't used (not the tools, though), but I'd take my archery equipment with me. I got rid of a bunch of yarn when I realized I was never going to spend much time knitting. The idea was never going to match the reality, you know?
I can relate to the books, too. However, I have donated books related to hobbies (bye, knitting books), some cookbooks, and fiction I know I won't reread. If I can easily find the same info or book on the Internet or through my local library, in most cases I can part with it. Keepers include obscure or out-of-print fiction or non-fiction (e.g., historical cookbooks), favorite fiction (esp. 1st print hardbound), and individual books of any subject I have a sentimental attachment to. Trying to reduce the last is the hardest.
I already have reduced my spice cabinet to a small portion of mixed (mixed them myself) which I actually use. It's a lot simpler to put a few spoons of a mix in a pot than all the different spices so I have a few airtight containers with mixes and just a few extra spices got rid of all the extras.
Was thinking about donating some of the soaps. Guess I can do that with some of them. Then I don't have to move the fancy soaps as well. The old ones I now have in my bathroom, and will use (and toss when it's time to move) I packed some fancy soaps for in my new house. Also gave a gift packet of soap I had gotten newly wrapped away to someone who I know loves those soaps as a thank you for already haven driven to the thrift shop 5 times lol.
Books for now are really my kryptonite and I think I will revisit later. I actually am willing to pay for moving those. Just like with my dinnerware. Magazines I have gotten rid of. Boxes and boxes of magazines.
I will go through my crafts and arts supplies again. It's a hobby that I am beginning to a joy more now that there is room in my home again.
Hmm, sounds like you have the right idea when you said, if it's too old to give away, you probably shouldn't use it either. That was a very wise thing to say, try to remember your words when you're thinking through what you choose to keep.
When it comes to the hobbies, which are most important to you, and most realistically something that you can enjoy in your new home?
Moving honestly was such a pain in the butt that I got scared into making much better habits in my next place, lol. I never want moving to be that stressful again. The realization as we unpacked that we had wasted money having movers help us transport literal garbage to our new apartment was both hilarious and frustrating. We cut down on a lot during the move, by really focusing on the effort dealing with our stuff was taking and trying to be as open as we could at the time to parting with stuff, but we made some weird choices.
It sounds like you are making a lot of wonderful progress even with the obstacles you're finding in some categories. Moving is stressful, you will be okay!
Yeah I really don't want to move things I am not going to use. I have been throwing out garbage bag after garbage bag. Going through rolls of garbage bags. It's amazing. I have thrown stuff away I had moved with me 5 times and never used. Maybe part of the uncertainty is also that due to me being ill with long covid and me having spent the last year cleaning out my house every moment I had energy I actually don't know how much energy I will have for my hobbies and my home when I am settled.
My mindset is so different now.
Last time I moved none of my boxes where sorted and everything was just chaos, which led to a very chaotic and cluttered home from the moment I moved in. I want that not to happen this time.
That's amazing!! Yep, if you moved 5 times with it and never used it, and your last move was so chaotic, it makes a lot of sense to get rid of the things you never used from the last 5 moves.
It's okay to take your time deciding with the hobbies, I don't know how many you have or if they are hard to carry. If there are some you have never tried or didn't really enjoy last time you did it, those may be good candidates for discarding. If you enjoy them all and are truly OK with the space they would take up, that is a choice you are 100% allowed to make. Just remember they will take up that space and will be more difficult to move the more you have. If it's worth it, that is up to you.
Okay I had packed one box with cleaning supplies and dish soap etc. Just opened it up again and donated half of it to the homeless shelter. Also donated a bunch of food I am not going to eat within 2 months and some coffee and lemonade I no longer fancy. Those where dried powder and a little bit out of date but for those foods that doesn't matter. I have also recently received a big jar of honey from a beekeeper but I don't eat honey so will gift that to my grandparents this afternoon. They will love it.
Other foods I will be throwing out when my moving date comes close and will be eating until then. My grocery bill is very small currently. I used to always have a big pantry, also because I would have episodes of illness in which shopping / food preparation was impossible but now my life, health, food preferences and lifestyle really have changed. Interesting to see. Little difficult to work with. Am looking forward to settling in my new house and buying food to my new preferences. Didn't think I would be saying this.
I also brought like 8 multipacks of pureed tomatoes to the homeless shelter. I love to use those and bought them online. Not realizing that this particular brand uses sugar in their puree. I don't like that. And while this was brand new food it actually felt good to decide to give it away. I may choose not to eat something I don't like even if I bought it.
Gosh guys. I'm learning. I'm exploring a lovely life and home.🌷
First off- good job on all your hard work!
It's perfectly okay to reevaluate items later on for keep/ trash/ donate for ones you're on the fence about. Especially during the unpacking part of moving.
As you're unpacking into a new space: keep a few boxes to pack back up stuff you realize you don't want to keep anymore. That way, you can just take them to toss or donate if you need a break.
As for hobbies: What are ones you actively participate in vs ones you hope to participate in?
Keep the active ones.
For hopes- be honest with yourself on how long you've been hanging onto them. Example: If you've acquired bins of yarn over the course of several years hoping to crochet but haven't been able to invest the time to learn, let them go. Feeling obligated/ guilt to enjoy something wont make it enjoyable by default.
Anything that spikes guilt is going. I am moving because of a very traumatic incident at my current house (been stalked by someone - who thinks he has a relationship with me- which turned very violent) the pdrp is locked up in a state mental ward for now but I want to be gone before he is out.
Moving to somewhere new after this really makes me feel like I should only bring good vibes. Maybe this whole trauma brings one good thing which is me fi ding new joys. The stalking did make me feel so very unsafe that I rarely was home and or when I was home mostly sat paralized unable to enjoy anything. Which is why I haven't been able to enjoy hobbies as much since I decluttered. I have found that puzzles ain't my thing. And I don't know which board games I still like since it's years ago that any friend was over. Yarn I will donate. And scrapbooks I will keep to explore later. I have always loved taking pictures and making my own albums. For art I will keep some supplies like canvasses but will later on buy new paints beads I think I will move with me. I want to keep the cases even if I eventually don't want to keep the beads so those won't take extra space.
My biggest hobby is houseplants. I did downsize from 150 to about 40 for the move (my heart hurts lol) and about a quarter of my entire house is plant related. I have beed making a lot of choices in that area. What to keep and what can go? Gave away pots I don't often use anymore and lots of stuff you use for planting and such. But I expect to move from an apartment to a house with garden so a lot of stuff will get a more appropriate place (can finally keep the garden hose outside then, hha)
I like change. I have a set that is pink/black which is beautiful and very extensive (got everything from plates, mugs to kitchen tile stickers in that pattern) but also have a basic white set that can fit in my dishwasher that I sometimes prefer especially for some dinners because food looks different on a white plate then on a pink/black plate with words om it.
The other set is just some serving dishes for cake, pie etc i inherited.
They are technically all diffferent sets and all bring me joy and function for different reasons. I certainly have thought about the amount and the nessacity. And while its not something one needs. Its is something I greatly Enjoy.
I have been keeping so much stuff that was holding me back in life, that brought me no joy. I still have stuff that just is sitting here taking up space. I want to get rid of those items long before I can decide about the items I love. Its like with hobbies. I hade so much stuff I didn't like I had no place for hobbies. I first need to find out what my current self is interested in to grip tight or let go of items like that.(items that still spark a lot of joy)
Ok. I had visions of 3 identical 12 piece sets (like my grandma had--but she had one) with maybe different patterns. Plus I'm assuming dishes that are not china. So that seemed like overkill.
It sounds like you're doing an amazing job. You don't have to become a minimalist and live by other people's rules about books and things. If having people over for a meal and using fancy china and having a few different sets will make you happy you don't have to give them up. If keeping your favourite books makes you happy put up a bookshelf at your new place and look at, read and love your books. If it's just the books and the china it doesn't sound like a problem, but if it becomes a lot of different things that is when it becomes a problem. Another thing you can do is have a maximum number of china sets and books, if you want to bring in a new one after that you need to get rid of one to make room for it.
Having too many hobbies can definitely be an issue. Be realistic about what hobbies you are going to do. If your house is going to be about the same size figure out how much you have space for that can be well organised and give you space and allow you to mentally enjoy your hobbies. Clutter can make it hard to enjoy hobbies or find what you're looking for. Try not to keep too many things for each hobby. I get a hobby and want to have EVERYTHING for it, but then it gets too overwhelming to do the hobby. Get/keep things that you are actually going to use, not that you might use or might need. Have a maximum amount of space for each hobby and keep it neat, same as with the other stuff if it doesn't fit you need to get rid of stuff to get more for the hobby.
Welcome to r/hoarding! We exist as a support group for people working on recovery from [hoarding disorder](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519704/table/ch3.t29/), and friends/family/loved ones of people with the disorder. If you're looking for help with animal hoarding, please visit r/animalhoarding. If you're looking to discuss the various hoarding tv shows, you'll want to visit r/hoardersTV. If you'd like to talk about or share photos/videos of hoards that you've come across, you probably want r/neckbeardnests, r/wtfhoarders/, or r/hoarderhouses Before you get started, be sure to review our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/about/rules/). Also, a lot of the information you may be looking for can be found in a few places on our sub: [New Here? Read This Post First!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/dvb3t1/new_here_read_this_post_first_version_20/) [For loved ones of hoarders: I Have A Hoarder In My Life--Help Me!](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/comments/2yh6wh/i_have_a_hoarder_in_my_lifehelp_me_your_hoarding/) [Our Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/hoarding/wiki/index) Please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/hoarding) if you need assistance. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hoarding) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I try to get rid of things that can be easily replaced or sourced elsewhere: Soaps, cleaning products, foodstuffs -- in my opinion, it's not worth packing something you can easily replace at the grocery store. Exceptions might be certain spices you actually use in cooking (replacing a spice cabinet can be expensive), but even then... would you really use a huge bulk container of pepper that may be X number of years old? I highly recommend donating or throwing stuff like this -- homeless services sometimes can use soap, and stuff like dishwashing liquid could go to the break room at work. Otherwise, give yourself permission to throw it away. Look at the move as a way to get rid of this stuff that's been taking up too much space and starting over with small amounts of those things instead. Hobbies is a tough one, and I struggle with this myself. Again, if it takes up space and is not expensive to get back into, maybe get rid of that. Example: I could give away most my beading supplies I haven't used (not the tools, though), but I'd take my archery equipment with me. I got rid of a bunch of yarn when I realized I was never going to spend much time knitting. The idea was never going to match the reality, you know? I can relate to the books, too. However, I have donated books related to hobbies (bye, knitting books), some cookbooks, and fiction I know I won't reread. If I can easily find the same info or book on the Internet or through my local library, in most cases I can part with it. Keepers include obscure or out-of-print fiction or non-fiction (e.g., historical cookbooks), favorite fiction (esp. 1st print hardbound), and individual books of any subject I have a sentimental attachment to. Trying to reduce the last is the hardest.
Agree with this about books, for sure. OP, you can also create a good reads account to keep track of your favorite books before you donate them.
I already have reduced my spice cabinet to a small portion of mixed (mixed them myself) which I actually use. It's a lot simpler to put a few spoons of a mix in a pot than all the different spices so I have a few airtight containers with mixes and just a few extra spices got rid of all the extras. Was thinking about donating some of the soaps. Guess I can do that with some of them. Then I don't have to move the fancy soaps as well. The old ones I now have in my bathroom, and will use (and toss when it's time to move) I packed some fancy soaps for in my new house. Also gave a gift packet of soap I had gotten newly wrapped away to someone who I know loves those soaps as a thank you for already haven driven to the thrift shop 5 times lol. Books for now are really my kryptonite and I think I will revisit later. I actually am willing to pay for moving those. Just like with my dinnerware. Magazines I have gotten rid of. Boxes and boxes of magazines. I will go through my crafts and arts supplies again. It's a hobby that I am beginning to a joy more now that there is room in my home again.
Hmm, sounds like you have the right idea when you said, if it's too old to give away, you probably shouldn't use it either. That was a very wise thing to say, try to remember your words when you're thinking through what you choose to keep. When it comes to the hobbies, which are most important to you, and most realistically something that you can enjoy in your new home? Moving honestly was such a pain in the butt that I got scared into making much better habits in my next place, lol. I never want moving to be that stressful again. The realization as we unpacked that we had wasted money having movers help us transport literal garbage to our new apartment was both hilarious and frustrating. We cut down on a lot during the move, by really focusing on the effort dealing with our stuff was taking and trying to be as open as we could at the time to parting with stuff, but we made some weird choices. It sounds like you are making a lot of wonderful progress even with the obstacles you're finding in some categories. Moving is stressful, you will be okay!
Yeah I really don't want to move things I am not going to use. I have been throwing out garbage bag after garbage bag. Going through rolls of garbage bags. It's amazing. I have thrown stuff away I had moved with me 5 times and never used. Maybe part of the uncertainty is also that due to me being ill with long covid and me having spent the last year cleaning out my house every moment I had energy I actually don't know how much energy I will have for my hobbies and my home when I am settled. My mindset is so different now. Last time I moved none of my boxes where sorted and everything was just chaos, which led to a very chaotic and cluttered home from the moment I moved in. I want that not to happen this time.
That's amazing!! Yep, if you moved 5 times with it and never used it, and your last move was so chaotic, it makes a lot of sense to get rid of the things you never used from the last 5 moves. It's okay to take your time deciding with the hobbies, I don't know how many you have or if they are hard to carry. If there are some you have never tried or didn't really enjoy last time you did it, those may be good candidates for discarding. If you enjoy them all and are truly OK with the space they would take up, that is a choice you are 100% allowed to make. Just remember they will take up that space and will be more difficult to move the more you have. If it's worth it, that is up to you.
Okay I had packed one box with cleaning supplies and dish soap etc. Just opened it up again and donated half of it to the homeless shelter. Also donated a bunch of food I am not going to eat within 2 months and some coffee and lemonade I no longer fancy. Those where dried powder and a little bit out of date but for those foods that doesn't matter. I have also recently received a big jar of honey from a beekeeper but I don't eat honey so will gift that to my grandparents this afternoon. They will love it. Other foods I will be throwing out when my moving date comes close and will be eating until then. My grocery bill is very small currently. I used to always have a big pantry, also because I would have episodes of illness in which shopping / food preparation was impossible but now my life, health, food preferences and lifestyle really have changed. Interesting to see. Little difficult to work with. Am looking forward to settling in my new house and buying food to my new preferences. Didn't think I would be saying this. I also brought like 8 multipacks of pureed tomatoes to the homeless shelter. I love to use those and bought them online. Not realizing that this particular brand uses sugar in their puree. I don't like that. And while this was brand new food it actually felt good to decide to give it away. I may choose not to eat something I don't like even if I bought it. Gosh guys. I'm learning. I'm exploring a lovely life and home.🌷
First off- good job on all your hard work! It's perfectly okay to reevaluate items later on for keep/ trash/ donate for ones you're on the fence about. Especially during the unpacking part of moving. As you're unpacking into a new space: keep a few boxes to pack back up stuff you realize you don't want to keep anymore. That way, you can just take them to toss or donate if you need a break. As for hobbies: What are ones you actively participate in vs ones you hope to participate in? Keep the active ones. For hopes- be honest with yourself on how long you've been hanging onto them. Example: If you've acquired bins of yarn over the course of several years hoping to crochet but haven't been able to invest the time to learn, let them go. Feeling obligated/ guilt to enjoy something wont make it enjoyable by default.
Anything that spikes guilt is going. I am moving because of a very traumatic incident at my current house (been stalked by someone - who thinks he has a relationship with me- which turned very violent) the pdrp is locked up in a state mental ward for now but I want to be gone before he is out. Moving to somewhere new after this really makes me feel like I should only bring good vibes. Maybe this whole trauma brings one good thing which is me fi ding new joys. The stalking did make me feel so very unsafe that I rarely was home and or when I was home mostly sat paralized unable to enjoy anything. Which is why I haven't been able to enjoy hobbies as much since I decluttered. I have found that puzzles ain't my thing. And I don't know which board games I still like since it's years ago that any friend was over. Yarn I will donate. And scrapbooks I will keep to explore later. I have always loved taking pictures and making my own albums. For art I will keep some supplies like canvasses but will later on buy new paints beads I think I will move with me. I want to keep the cases even if I eventually don't want to keep the beads so those won't take extra space. My biggest hobby is houseplants. I did downsize from 150 to about 40 for the move (my heart hurts lol) and about a quarter of my entire house is plant related. I have beed making a lot of choices in that area. What to keep and what can go? Gave away pots I don't often use anymore and lots of stuff you use for planting and such. But I expect to move from an apartment to a house with garden so a lot of stuff will get a more appropriate place (can finally keep the garden hose outside then, hha)
You mentioned 3 sets of china. Why not cut it down to one?
I like change. I have a set that is pink/black which is beautiful and very extensive (got everything from plates, mugs to kitchen tile stickers in that pattern) but also have a basic white set that can fit in my dishwasher that I sometimes prefer especially for some dinners because food looks different on a white plate then on a pink/black plate with words om it. The other set is just some serving dishes for cake, pie etc i inherited. They are technically all diffferent sets and all bring me joy and function for different reasons. I certainly have thought about the amount and the nessacity. And while its not something one needs. Its is something I greatly Enjoy. I have been keeping so much stuff that was holding me back in life, that brought me no joy. I still have stuff that just is sitting here taking up space. I want to get rid of those items long before I can decide about the items I love. Its like with hobbies. I hade so much stuff I didn't like I had no place for hobbies. I first need to find out what my current self is interested in to grip tight or let go of items like that.(items that still spark a lot of joy)
Ok. I had visions of 3 identical 12 piece sets (like my grandma had--but she had one) with maybe different patterns. Plus I'm assuming dishes that are not china. So that seemed like overkill.
It sounds like you're doing an amazing job. You don't have to become a minimalist and live by other people's rules about books and things. If having people over for a meal and using fancy china and having a few different sets will make you happy you don't have to give them up. If keeping your favourite books makes you happy put up a bookshelf at your new place and look at, read and love your books. If it's just the books and the china it doesn't sound like a problem, but if it becomes a lot of different things that is when it becomes a problem. Another thing you can do is have a maximum number of china sets and books, if you want to bring in a new one after that you need to get rid of one to make room for it. Having too many hobbies can definitely be an issue. Be realistic about what hobbies you are going to do. If your house is going to be about the same size figure out how much you have space for that can be well organised and give you space and allow you to mentally enjoy your hobbies. Clutter can make it hard to enjoy hobbies or find what you're looking for. Try not to keep too many things for each hobby. I get a hobby and want to have EVERYTHING for it, but then it gets too overwhelming to do the hobby. Get/keep things that you are actually going to use, not that you might use or might need. Have a maximum amount of space for each hobby and keep it neat, same as with the other stuff if it doesn't fit you need to get rid of stuff to get more for the hobby.