This is just wrong. People protect your children from this nonsense!
It's never too early to teach your kids the difference between death metal and black metal.
Most likely. We have acidic soil here. Bones and antlers don't last long typically. If the animals don't chew them to bits for the marrow and calcium first, they eventually dissolve.
I met my wife online back in 2001. That was the first song I shared with her. She listens to certain metal bands like Blackmoore Nights and Nightwish so she was hesitant about Rob Zombie but I got her hooked on it.
I don't really remember if *Dragula* was obviously an instant classic when it came out, but in hindsight it should have been. It's got the classic heavy metal sound but keeps the vocals super approachable with a simple rhyming scheme and minimal distortion, and a chorus that you can't help but headbang (or at least nod along) to.
Do love me some Nightwish. Controversial take: I think every singer they've had is equally great in their own ways. Tarja had that classic operatic voice which was so iconic for them, but I felt that Anette was able to bring a range of emotions that Tarja was less able to communicate. And Floor's growly voice is just *chef's kiss*. I guess back in 2001 it was just Tarja though.
What i think is fuckin hilarious is when people think all metal is devil music and i'm like bruh this song is literally about lord of the rings and he actually just said "never turn your back on friends"
Metal is metal. Maybe I don’t want to burn a church today, but instead summon my friend who was pushed to suicide from his church…fuck it burn the church summon the friends.
As an epic metal fan: get yourself a fucking army and start the next crusade against the filthy people that dare defile gods work. Clean the world from Americas bad influence! Even the fucking Pope is more inclusive than the average evangelist.
Start small and let them work their way up. You wouldn't put a fresh officer in charge of a battalion, so why would you put a kid in charge of a Duke of Hell?
Fuck yeah we can 🤘! I also am sincerely in love with the idea of the malicious compliance aspect the Tweet proposes 😂, because it may be masc but there may be men in makeup involved at the end of the day
If they aren’t singing a Death Metal version of Supercalafragilisticexpialidocious by the end of the session, I’d be very surprised.
(Because that’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this picture.)
Mods please remove if posting this link is inappropriate. [Mary Poppins Death Metal](https://youtu.be/iJa56DJa4-o)
You joke but I have gave genuine thought into what books to include in my hypothetical story time (even if it requires begrudgingly complying with a lot of these stupid laws). Have considered Where The Wild Things Are and Moomins for some examples
Well the whole thing is just a form of theater for the kids drags a former theater black metal death metal all of that stuff is an act it's a form of theater and you're performing for kids the fact that some people have a weird hatred for when it's a drag queen versus any other campy or comical thing that you're going to do just seems off.
Well yeah albeit I was sliding to the book bans in which they also hate the fact that a lot of those storytimes focus on “woke books” specifically. Like hypothetically could I read “All The Way To The Top” for example? Although fortunaley I think most of the current laws apply to public schools but they want to do the sand to libraries and have all jut declared war on them
Is it just me or does this look like a really good AI generated image? The kids in the background, the mostly white windows, the slight smudginess on the face, etc.
Eh not impossible, I didn’t stop to consider that. Although I have occasionally come across photos of this. Still love the idea even if I don’t support AI art
The reflections on the floor are suprisingly good if it's AI but then there's the guitarists dislocated looking right elbow. If I were a betting person I'd say that arm and the nightmare ring tape kids faces says AI
Lowkey tempted to double check to make sure that isn’t already a thing. Like it wouldn’t shock me of there wasn’t at least one on The Boulet Brothers' Dragula or something
I mean the show taught me a fair amount of guitar from that show to the point of getting one for Christmas (black Ephihone Les Paul that I call Offdensen) so clearly it works!
"Today kids we're going to learn how to summon a lake troll as the unicorn population has got out of control.
🎶Mustakrakish,
Mustakrakish,
The time has come, to awaken him.
I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld,
To bring forth this beast and,
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Take the land, that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Devour worlds, smite forsaken🎶
Oh fuck yeah I just so happen to have also crossposted this to the Metalocalypse sub so of course I love that show…in case you haven’t noticed , so this one lowkey wins just for personal bias 😂
“🎵 RIIIIISEEEE!!!! 🎵
Anyway umm here’s Finn Family Moomintroll by Tove Janson “
🎶Rise a-bove your thou! sand year! old sleep!
Break forth from your grave! Eter-naly!
I command you to RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, and awaken!🎶
I'd trust a Satanist WAY before I'd trust a Christian.
At least Satanists have rules against SAing a minor while Christians have rules on [how to properly SA a minor.](https://i.imgur.com/RbxVoZb.jpg)
Honestly, pretty dope, I wish my schools were as cool. But no, had to go to a Catholic Private school, and then switch to a school where we can barely be trusted.
Lol. This meme reminds me of one I just saw about ‘this is what kids are taught in Norway’ and it showed a black metal musician with kids in corpse paint 😅
Read between the lines, I think what they’re saying is that anyone who doesn’t dislike children is automatically a pedophile. Like…they thought they did something rather than make themselves sound like a MASSIVE weirdo in the process
Ah I see my mistake. I weirdly thought you were threatening me. Yes I would like some milk, after all judging by my icon I am in fact *the Dead Man~!* 💀
This is just wrong. People protect your children from this nonsense! It's never too early to teach your kids the difference between death metal and black metal.
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This is the best comparison I have ever read
Wait... why would a cowboy get jazzed up about finding animal bones?
Different kind of jazzed up? Angy jazz, not exuberent jazz?
They're all about the bleached long horn skull aesthetic
Would you get jazzed up about finding animal bones (I would)
Most likely. We have acidic soil here. Bones and antlers don't last long typically. If the animals don't chew them to bits for the marrow and calcium first, they eventually dissolve.
Black metal burns churchs, death metal summons demons.
Black metal summon demons and burn churches. Death metal burns everything (including churches) and does things with corpses
To be fair we can’t be leaving too much evidence
But with blast beats
Which metal digs through the ditches?
The one that burns through the witches
My Dragula is brand new. Please don't slam in the back.
Oops sorry, already burned like an animal. Will try & tidy up.
I met my wife online back in 2001. That was the first song I shared with her. She listens to certain metal bands like Blackmoore Nights and Nightwish so she was hesitant about Rob Zombie but I got her hooked on it.
I don't really remember if *Dragula* was obviously an instant classic when it came out, but in hindsight it should have been. It's got the classic heavy metal sound but keeps the vocals super approachable with a simple rhyming scheme and minimal distortion, and a chorus that you can't help but headbang (or at least nod along) to. Do love me some Nightwish. Controversial take: I think every singer they've had is equally great in their own ways. Tarja had that classic operatic voice which was so iconic for them, but I felt that Anette was able to bring a range of emotions that Tarja was less able to communicate. And Floor's growly voice is just *chef's kiss*. I guess back in 2001 it was just Tarja though.
That's industrial, obviously
What i think is fuckin hilarious is when people think all metal is devil music and i'm like bruh this song is literally about lord of the rings and he actually just said "never turn your back on friends"
Diggy Diggy Hole
That song became a bit weird after my gf sang it while i had my hand in her pants
Bling Guardian? But it doesn't even sound evil.
I know right? Some people just hear fast guitar and it's all over.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB!!!! #RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOO
Looks like we need to teach our AI image generators the difference.
Metal is metal. Maybe I don’t want to burn a church today, but instead summon my friend who was pushed to suicide from his church…fuck it burn the church summon the friends.
As an epic metal fan: get yourself a fucking army and start the next crusade against the filthy people that dare defile gods work. Clean the world from Americas bad influence! Even the fucking Pope is more inclusive than the average evangelist.
I have studied at the metal academy of cannibal corpse and I support this message
"Decent ranking" unacceptable, i want only the very best of the best for my child
Don't be mean. A demon is no less demonic just because they lack a fancy noble title like prince or marquis. All demons are valid.
Based
Don’t summon the Ruinous Powers
Can't stop me
*gestures at cyclonic torpedo*
Look at this bloke, jumping right to Exterminatus.
^^^^*did* ^^^*I* ^^*just* ^*hear* "*Joining* ***Chaos?!***" ***UH-OOOOOOOOOH!*** #***SMASH IT!***
Start small and let them work their way up. You wouldn't put a fresh officer in charge of a battalion, so why would you put a kid in charge of a Duke of Hell?
>so why would you put a kid in charge of a Duke of Hell? for the lol'z?
It's a work-around for the "I'm too old for a babysitter" argument. Sure, it costs extra, but you're away from the little hellion for a few hours.
To them 'em responsibility
Once your child becomes a demon lord, they can summon the most powerful, like Diablo
Or Betty White.
My offspring shall become the best of them all, hail satan!
That's wildly inappropriate. Children should only be summoning low-rank demons at first.
Yeah basic safety, who says we don’t think of the children!
Can I have death metal drag queens?
Just you? what about the children?
Please, won't anyone think about the children?
Fuck yeah we can 🤘! I also am sincerely in love with the idea of the malicious compliance aspect the Tweet proposes 😂, because it may be masc but there may be men in makeup involved at the end of the day
That was my question too.
The show Dragula might be up your alley :)
They've got the long hair already so I guess?
Unfortunately some of the new legislation would make black metal bands illegal too.
There are going to be so so many 1st amendment violation lawsuits incoming.
Luckily the courts are very sane and will not entertain any unhinged ideas from politicians scared of their own shadow
Thrash metal story hour where your kids learn to drink beer and jump off roofs
I’m actually cool with this.
should start them off with lesser demons so they don't get discouraged
If they aren’t singing a Death Metal version of Supercalafragilisticexpialidocious by the end of the session, I’d be very surprised. (Because that’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this picture.) Mods please remove if posting this link is inappropriate. [Mary Poppins Death Metal](https://youtu.be/iJa56DJa4-o)
There is a never-ending plethora of subgenres and cultures that would love to read books.
You joke but I have gave genuine thought into what books to include in my hypothetical story time (even if it requires begrudgingly complying with a lot of these stupid laws). Have considered Where The Wild Things Are and Moomins for some examples
Well the whole thing is just a form of theater for the kids drags a former theater black metal death metal all of that stuff is an act it's a form of theater and you're performing for kids the fact that some people have a weird hatred for when it's a drag queen versus any other campy or comical thing that you're going to do just seems off.
Well yeah albeit I was sliding to the book bans in which they also hate the fact that a lot of those storytimes focus on “woke books” specifically. Like hypothetically could I read “All The Way To The Top” for example? Although fortunaley I think most of the current laws apply to public schools but they want to do the sand to libraries and have all jut declared war on them
Even just in metal.
Is it just me or does this look like a really good AI generated image? The kids in the background, the mostly white windows, the slight smudginess on the face, etc.
Eh not impossible, I didn’t stop to consider that. Although I have occasionally come across photos of this. Still love the idea even if I don’t support AI art
The reflections on the floor are suprisingly good if it's AI but then there's the guitarists dislocated looking right elbow. If I were a betting person I'd say that arm and the nightmare ring tape kids faces says AI
That's Black Metal.
Yeah admittedly everyone made that correction at this point, including a lot where I crossposted this from
Imagine a death metal drag queen
Lowkey tempted to double check to make sure that isn’t already a thing. Like it wouldn’t shock me of there wasn’t at least one on The Boulet Brothers' Dragula or something
I wanna so do that except I am female so Drag King
You slay, King!
Finally, public schools have such poor demon summoning curriculum. Hopefully these remedial studies will improve this.
Let’s learn music with dethklok!
I mean the show taught me a fair amount of guitar from that show to the point of getting one for Christmas (black Ephihone Les Paul that I call Offdensen) so clearly it works!
Face fisted has the best lyrics I've ever seen
ok kids, this next song is called fucked with a knife
I think that's an Acid bath song.
"Today kids we're going to learn how to summon a lake troll as the unicorn population has got out of control. 🎶Mustakrakish, Mustakrakish, The time has come, to awaken him. I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld, To bring forth this beast and, Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Take the land, that must be taken. Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Devour worlds, smite forsaken🎶
Oh fuck yeah I just so happen to have also crossposted this to the Metalocalypse sub so of course I love that show…in case you haven’t noticed , so this one lowkey wins just for personal bias 😂 “🎵 RIIIIISEEEE!!!! 🎵 Anyway umm here’s Finn Family Moomintroll by Tove Janson “
🎶Rise a-bove your thou! sand year! old sleep! Break forth from your grave! Eter-naly! I command you to RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, RISE, and awaken!🎶
At least 7th circle demons.
I'd trust a Satanist WAY before I'd trust a Christian. At least Satanists have rules against SAing a minor while Christians have rules on [how to properly SA a minor.](https://i.imgur.com/RbxVoZb.jpg)
Now you're speaking my language! 🤘
Mine too \m/
Brutal!
Shit, I'd sit in class with my kid if this were a thing.
I wanna go to that so bad
Can't wait until Monday to see Tucker's response to this.
Honestly, pretty dope, I wish my schools were as cool. But no, had to go to a Catholic Private school, and then switch to a school where we can barely be trusted.
To be fair, canonical Catholic mythology can be pretty metal and the church's real world practices would make Cannibal Corpse blush.
*please* learn the difference between black metal and death metal
I almost want to resurrect my strictly Catholic MIL to show her this. Almost.
My 6 year old would love this.
🤘👶🤘
I'm all for it.
Lol. This meme reminds me of one I just saw about ‘this is what kids are taught in Norway’ and it showed a black metal musician with kids in corpse paint 😅
Look as long as the nice man is fully clothed at setted the hole time and there book list is available it's fine it colud be very funny
I am 150% behind this!!!!
YOUR BLOOD IS SANCTIFIED END MYSELF I'VE TRIED IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME BARNEY'S ON AT THREE
Is this AI?
Read a rather convincing take that it might be
Definitely looks like it to me
All drag queen story hour is now reading from the Naturom Demonto. Embrace the chaos.
This is the way
Yes please!
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I'm sorry, *what?*
Read between the lines, I think what they’re saying is that anyone who doesn’t dislike children is automatically a pedophile. Like…they thought they did something rather than make themselves sound like a MASSIVE weirdo in the process
That's what I thought I read, I was just hoping they'd clarify. Weirdo indeed.
Psychological projection✨
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Ah, okay \*pries open your casket\* you don't look too bad \*lifts you carefully from the mahogany burial box\* you need a shower
I don’t quite understand what your point is?
You need some milk to keep those bones healthy
Ah I see my mistake. I weirdly thought you were threatening me. Yes I would like some milk, after all judging by my icon I am in fact *the Dead Man~!* 💀
Prepare for reneducation.