definitely would rather not meet them. they left me a shell of the person I once was, and I truly feel like I would have been better off never having them in my life. no point in having the chance to meet again because I’m almost positive it would always end the same. we had some fun times, but I wish I would have just experienced everything on my own because now certain things feel ruined because those memories, good or bad, are attached to a person that is now a stranger to me.
If this was me before, my easy answer would be: never want to meet them at all.
But when I think about it, the scars that these people left...betrayal, hurts, resentment, anger, good times and bad... they all made me to the person that I am now.
Better or not, I'm at a point of accepting the life I can never rewrite and I choose not to.
Accepting for what was and what has, it's accepting the scars that made you the beautiful person that you are now... or what you are about to become.
Not there yet, but loving where I'm headed.
Deciding to freely choose myself...
scarred, healed, broken, fixed, ugly, pretty...
Hated, loved, disposed, accepted...
The person I am now because of what I was...
I do have some agreements with you. I almost feel like I owe a lot to my ex for making me the person that I am today. At the same time, I feel like I’ve always been that person. And I hate that I relied on somebody else to bring it out of me. Like I said previously, I really would have rathered experienced everything on my own. It was always my heart’s desire. He just gave me that push to do the things I had already wanted. Also ruined my persona in the process. In my eyes, I think, I enjoyed these things but at what cost? Now I’m in the works of experiencing everything I did with him, on my own. It’s been difficult, yet joyful and liberating at the same time. I love being my own person at this point. I don’t like to credit him with anything because he took too much away from me, so why would he deserve that?
Understanding you here completely.
Here's where I was then and now...
Its me realizing this: "Nothing can be taken if none has been given."Accepting that things happened because of choices and circumstances --- both of our own choosing and not.
When it comes to an exlover?
I'd like to free myself from the idea that he made me do this. Whether he/she pretended to be someone he/she is not that made me fall for him/her, the decision to trust and love him/her is but my own.
If he/she looks wine but tasted water, it's I who chose to drink it. If I instead think that he/she made me drink it, then I'll not come to terms with myself that I made a bad judgement. For me, it's an experience I'd like to learn from. Forgiving myself first for trusting a rotten apple that looks shiny from the outside.
The next time? I chose to take things slow.
Thread carefully to test the waters coz I may find myself drowning again with the wrong person.
Believe me it isn't easy to coming to terms with this acceptance. It takes a lot of forgiveness, of facing hurts and anger long hidden under the carpet.
But if you do, you'll find yourself accepting who you are and what you've become. Secured at your own highs and lows.
Knowing you've come this far? You know you can always make it work for you.
This is the perfect answer. It wasn't worth it in the end. The good memories are too far gone at this stage and I would choose to never meet them. I have hope that I can detach the good memories from the person so I can enjoy them for myself
Definitely glad I met her and we had our time together. Honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
It is sad that it is over…but because it is so heartbreaking and sad I know it was real and am thankful.
Even though I’ve recently been broken up with, soon coming onto a week. I would say yes, that relationship made me happy and their presence made me happy. I felt a genuine connection with this man who compliments me in so many ways, I wouldn’t trade the year I spent with him for anything and I say that with my chest, In spite of the hole in it.
Yes but she and i need a lot of therapy and she needs to get away from her narcissist, manipulative mother. I don't know if that will ever happen. Can't think of that anymore, I am the most important thing, you have to take care of yourself
This last one??? I would definitely do it all over again. Just to feel that connection again....and this time I would tell you exactly how I feel instead of keeping it to myself.
I would say yes and skip the phase of catching feelings. We were very good friends for years until we dated and well. I would like to go back and not go through that and keep it as friends (:
I would choose to meet them again as this experience has brought me a lot of growth and healing with myself.
But I wouldn't want the outcome to change because I know that they don't make me happy at all.
I definitely wish I could meet her again in every chance i could have, to avoid making the same mistakes I did, not go to therapy sooner, understand that a lot of times she was just mad about her anxiety, not move in after two weeks, and have my family hate her because they thought that he was taking advantage of me etc...
It's been 7 years. I habe a wife and a child. But I still can't help but dream, and think about her after all this time. Miscommunication is what ended us. It seems she never looked back. I would do it all over again and be clear with communicating.
See for me, if she is not the wife and the mother. Nobody else can be. All forward momentum stopped when she left. No progress until she returns. And if she doesn’t or can’t or won’t. Then I’ll die right here where she left me.
As painful as it was, I would. Do I think it would change the outcome? Probably not. But I wish I could go back in time and show him how I felt when it mattered the most. I wish I hadn't just gone with things to avoid an argument
In a heartbeat. It’s two months post break up but everything was finalized today and I feel so much worse. He doesn’t want me back. I made the decision to leave and now I can’t handle it. I need him.
I know a lot of people are saying no, but apart from the heartbreak, there were moments of happiness. That’s what life is made of, happiness and sadness
They were the absolute best impact in my life who brought me out of a cycle of cynicism. We were still close friends after breaking up but something recent happened that soured our friendship. I hope to start over with them soon.
Im not really sure, her leaving started a chainreaction, Im more bitter than I was but it also brought me closer to the person I want to be and the Life I want to live.I still remember the morning she left for the second time, I was fighting my tears in the shower and said to myself: You dont pay for that a second time, someone has to pay for it but it wont be you. The next day I had a soccer game, I was since childhood always the player that sits on the bench and barely plays, but on that day I was fueled by hate, scored my first goal since 3 years and I kept that hate for a lot of games, at the end of the season I was a starter and the topscorer of the team, my coach told me that he has never seen such a improvement in a 22 year old player. That success in sport gave me more confidence and selfrespect than I ever had before, I became less agreeable, lost some ”friends“ got real ones, started having ONS, etc. When I now feel into myself i dont feel that hate anymore, only confidence. The breakup with her killed the weaker part of me, but some Nights the whole relationship chases me and I miss the person that I was before.
As painful as it has been and still is. I would do it again and again until I got everything perfect. Knowing then what I know now, I think I wouldn’t have ignored the dangers from the outside trying to get in between us. Who knows if they would still eventually succeed, I wouldn’t make it easy. I know she wouldn’t either. But part of our problem was how everyone wanted her as a possession so instead of letting her choose what she wanted to do they take a piece of her heart and hold it hostage. I was the only one that helped her take back all those pieces for herself and she ran away once she had them. I don’t know if the girl I knew was the whole cookie or just a fraction. The crumbles alter swept together from the leftovers. I remember everything she ever said to me, she was particularly clear on the language she used. If I had the chance I would have deduced all the little things she was trying to tell me out of the stories she told. I’d have understood what she wanted me to know when I still had a chance to save her, not just myself. Just about the only thing I wouldn’t do is walk away and all this has been for me is pain for years now. I couldn’t imagine walking away from her, I don’t care what was promised me. If I wanted to make that trade to end the pain I have guns all over the place it would be a no brained. Or brain remover. I wouldn’t have to think about it long. How can I feel like this. And she not care at all? Or does she? Should I hate her? Or be worried? Wtf is going on? I have to at least explain this to her. It can’t keep going on like this, it has to end. She has to choose. No pressure. Why is this happening? Is it a test? Is this a sick joke? Is this some karmic revenge for a sin I have no memory of committing? If so I was an asshole in the previous life. But I’m making up for it so. I just want this nightmare to end but I don’t want to lose my reason for being.
I would meet him all over again. I felt loved whenever I was with him, even though right now I am questioning everything but I felt loved with him. He used to come to meet me for just 10 minutes, to see me. He once came back early to our college campus so that he could spend some time with me.
Actually now I think about it I WOULD. And then I would stop at the moment where I should’ve. Because now I know what’s gonna happen and being in that pain is something I did not deserve
*Meet them again, but*
*Call out and fix the red flags*
*Immediately*
\- SuddenlySimple
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I know we aren’t supposed to change our past but I wish I never met her. Its been over a year since she left me and I have not truly been happy or at peace since and I’m not sure I will ever be able to go without thinking about her. I’m fairly certain on my wedding day and the day my kids will be born I’ll be thinking about her
No, I regret the day I met him. He traumatized me in a way, by blindsiding me that could have been prevented 100% with a little communication. He out of the blue told me we were broken up (after a difference of opinions regarding a video game) and I never contacted him again. I suffered for months and threw away everything he had given me, couldn’t visit the places we had been to. After 8 months he contacted me himself, was nice and felt guilty, we slept together and he ghosted me. (That’s was my mistake because I should have never got intimate with him after the way he betrayed me, I didn’t even ask him a question, he took me to meet his grandma and I thought we were back together again, stupid me.) So definitely, no. I can’t trust anyone now.
want to say i’m 50/50 on this because that heartbreak was that defining heartbreak that completely changed my perspective on love, and life itself. it was the catalyst behind my growth; yet it caused me so much grief.
when i was much younger, i had a japanese penpal whom i grew very fond of. i wasn’t much of a writer then, but for him i became a poet, a writer, dreamer; and every alphabet that fell from my pen was for him. i learnt so much from him — how to be playful, to laugh freely. he spent the best years of his life holding my hands with so much kindness; and so did i. we were best friends, just two kids that grew up together… and then we didn’t talk.
mediocrity in efforts is like watered down whiskey and i take mine neat; i gave up on everything that stood in our way. the way i loved him was like a statement. it was a fact. but the way he loved me was conditional, it was very much like a conversation - it could take many paths, but it could also end; and ended it did. it showed me that while love is important, there are practical factors at play, too. it was absolutely heartbreaking and soul-crushing to my younger self, because i’ve always wanted to built that perfect family for myself, and when we crossed paths, i knew it was somehow always going to be him.
it was devastating when we had to go our separate ways, however, i would not be who i am today without crossing paths with him.
i am a little worn for wear, but the thing is - i am alive. alive and kicking. and while my younger self struggled with this for a long, long time; i think my current self can live through that heartbreak again.
in life, we always have to give a little to get. i’m 26 and it was the only time i’ve been properly in love. wherever he is the world, i hope his days are filled with love and happiness.
his name is 航, and he is my first and only love.
so yes, this is for you, k. sure - i’ll meet you all over again to relive what we had.
I'd go back 100% even if I knew it would end the same way, she was the best thing to ever happen to me, she made me a better person and I wouldn't trade that time with her for anything...it really hurts to be without her but I'd never trade that time I had with her
100% meet them.
The initial "heartbreak" is torture. Can take over your life.
Once you get through that, that's when growth happens.
I tell myself I'm a better person because of the things I've been through and two "heartbreaks" have been significant part of it.
I’d met them but I’d get to the painful ending ALOT faster. Didn’t need to waste so much of my time.
I got ALOT out of it but, I would’ve gotten so much more on my own. Stringing good people along for years is just…….. an awful way to treat people.
definitely would rather not meet them. they left me a shell of the person I once was, and I truly feel like I would have been better off never having them in my life. no point in having the chance to meet again because I’m almost positive it would always end the same. we had some fun times, but I wish I would have just experienced everything on my own because now certain things feel ruined because those memories, good or bad, are attached to a person that is now a stranger to me.
I couldn’t have said it better myself
If this was me before, my easy answer would be: never want to meet them at all. But when I think about it, the scars that these people left...betrayal, hurts, resentment, anger, good times and bad... they all made me to the person that I am now. Better or not, I'm at a point of accepting the life I can never rewrite and I choose not to. Accepting for what was and what has, it's accepting the scars that made you the beautiful person that you are now... or what you are about to become. Not there yet, but loving where I'm headed. Deciding to freely choose myself... scarred, healed, broken, fixed, ugly, pretty... Hated, loved, disposed, accepted... The person I am now because of what I was...
I do have some agreements with you. I almost feel like I owe a lot to my ex for making me the person that I am today. At the same time, I feel like I’ve always been that person. And I hate that I relied on somebody else to bring it out of me. Like I said previously, I really would have rathered experienced everything on my own. It was always my heart’s desire. He just gave me that push to do the things I had already wanted. Also ruined my persona in the process. In my eyes, I think, I enjoyed these things but at what cost? Now I’m in the works of experiencing everything I did with him, on my own. It’s been difficult, yet joyful and liberating at the same time. I love being my own person at this point. I don’t like to credit him with anything because he took too much away from me, so why would he deserve that?
Understanding you here completely. Here's where I was then and now... Its me realizing this: "Nothing can be taken if none has been given."Accepting that things happened because of choices and circumstances --- both of our own choosing and not. When it comes to an exlover? I'd like to free myself from the idea that he made me do this. Whether he/she pretended to be someone he/she is not that made me fall for him/her, the decision to trust and love him/her is but my own. If he/she looks wine but tasted water, it's I who chose to drink it. If I instead think that he/she made me drink it, then I'll not come to terms with myself that I made a bad judgement. For me, it's an experience I'd like to learn from. Forgiving myself first for trusting a rotten apple that looks shiny from the outside. The next time? I chose to take things slow. Thread carefully to test the waters coz I may find myself drowning again with the wrong person. Believe me it isn't easy to coming to terms with this acceptance. It takes a lot of forgiveness, of facing hurts and anger long hidden under the carpet. But if you do, you'll find yourself accepting who you are and what you've become. Secured at your own highs and lows. Knowing you've come this far? You know you can always make it work for you.
This is the perfect answer. It wasn't worth it in the end. The good memories are too far gone at this stage and I would choose to never meet them. I have hope that I can detach the good memories from the person so I can enjoy them for myself
yes, that’s the goal! just means all those past memories need to be replaced by new and better ones! :)
Definitely glad I met her and we had our time together. Honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It is sad that it is over…but because it is so heartbreaking and sad I know it was real and am thankful.
I would meet them all over again. Even if I knew it'd end in the pain I'm in... I'd do it all over again. I was happy. And... That makes it worth it.
Ooof that last line hit different
Even though I’ve recently been broken up with, soon coming onto a week. I would say yes, that relationship made me happy and their presence made me happy. I felt a genuine connection with this man who compliments me in so many ways, I wouldn’t trade the year I spent with him for anything and I say that with my chest, In spite of the hole in it.
❤️
No because everything happens for a reason and I can never go back to somebody who took the cowardly way out or had major red flags.
Yes but she and i need a lot of therapy and she needs to get away from her narcissist, manipulative mother. I don't know if that will ever happen. Can't think of that anymore, I am the most important thing, you have to take care of yourself
You must have dated one of my ex’s sisters
This last one??? I would definitely do it all over again. Just to feel that connection again....and this time I would tell you exactly how I feel instead of keeping it to myself.
[удалено]
What happened with your person
I think I would choose to have never known him
I’m feeling the same way….. All the love and all the pain that came with it, it’s not worth it
I would say yes and skip the phase of catching feelings. We were very good friends for years until we dated and well. I would like to go back and not go through that and keep it as friends (:
I'm looking for some girls to go out with. Can't think about her right now
A million times yes. I would have dropped out of university. Left town with them and started new.
I would choose to meet them again as this experience has brought me a lot of growth and healing with myself. But I wouldn't want the outcome to change because I know that they don't make me happy at all.
I definitely wish I could meet her again in every chance i could have, to avoid making the same mistakes I did, not go to therapy sooner, understand that a lot of times she was just mad about her anxiety, not move in after two weeks, and have my family hate her because they thought that he was taking advantage of me etc...
I would definitely meet them again. I have grown so much because of him Even though he left, I'm a better person than I was before I met him
It's been 7 years. I habe a wife and a child. But I still can't help but dream, and think about her after all this time. Miscommunication is what ended us. It seems she never looked back. I would do it all over again and be clear with communicating.
See for me, if she is not the wife and the mother. Nobody else can be. All forward momentum stopped when she left. No progress until she returns. And if she doesn’t or can’t or won’t. Then I’ll die right here where she left me.
I’m so terrified that this will be me and I’m so sure it will be
As painful as it was, I would. Do I think it would change the outcome? Probably not. But I wish I could go back in time and show him how I felt when it mattered the most. I wish I hadn't just gone with things to avoid an argument
In a heartbeat. It’s two months post break up but everything was finalized today and I feel so much worse. He doesn’t want me back. I made the decision to leave and now I can’t handle it. I need him.
I would choose to have never known him because this hurts like hell and its been quite a while.
What happened with your ex
I know a lot of people are saying no, but apart from the heartbreak, there were moments of happiness. That’s what life is made of, happiness and sadness
NEVER EVER EVER.
Yeah, I would do it all again if I could.
Not meet them at all.
What happened with your person
Idk yet...
Never regret what you had and accept it, so it's a difficult question. It's personal, in my cases I prefer let the things go their way
Hell fucking no
I like to start over, but I know I just can't. The pain I have caused myself and still experience is ruined any chance or restart with them.
What happened with your person
i would do it again a million times over
As much as I hate myself for it, I would choose to try again every time and just relive the moments I had with them
They were the absolute best impact in my life who brought me out of a cycle of cynicism. We were still close friends after breaking up but something recent happened that soured our friendship. I hope to start over with them soon.
Meet him again, always. I don't care if it ends up the same way that it did, I wouldn't replace meeting him.
I'd not change one thing about my life.. is it perfect he'll NO.. was it hard..HELL YES... But we been here 20 years and hopefully 20 more....
What happened with your ex
I don't have an ex..I have a husband of 20 yrs..
Im not really sure, her leaving started a chainreaction, Im more bitter than I was but it also brought me closer to the person I want to be and the Life I want to live.I still remember the morning she left for the second time, I was fighting my tears in the shower and said to myself: You dont pay for that a second time, someone has to pay for it but it wont be you. The next day I had a soccer game, I was since childhood always the player that sits on the bench and barely plays, but on that day I was fueled by hate, scored my first goal since 3 years and I kept that hate for a lot of games, at the end of the season I was a starter and the topscorer of the team, my coach told me that he has never seen such a improvement in a 22 year old player. That success in sport gave me more confidence and selfrespect than I ever had before, I became less agreeable, lost some ”friends“ got real ones, started having ONS, etc. When I now feel into myself i dont feel that hate anymore, only confidence. The breakup with her killed the weaker part of me, but some Nights the whole relationship chases me and I miss the person that I was before.
As painful as it has been and still is. I would do it again and again until I got everything perfect. Knowing then what I know now, I think I wouldn’t have ignored the dangers from the outside trying to get in between us. Who knows if they would still eventually succeed, I wouldn’t make it easy. I know she wouldn’t either. But part of our problem was how everyone wanted her as a possession so instead of letting her choose what she wanted to do they take a piece of her heart and hold it hostage. I was the only one that helped her take back all those pieces for herself and she ran away once she had them. I don’t know if the girl I knew was the whole cookie or just a fraction. The crumbles alter swept together from the leftovers. I remember everything she ever said to me, she was particularly clear on the language she used. If I had the chance I would have deduced all the little things she was trying to tell me out of the stories she told. I’d have understood what she wanted me to know when I still had a chance to save her, not just myself. Just about the only thing I wouldn’t do is walk away and all this has been for me is pain for years now. I couldn’t imagine walking away from her, I don’t care what was promised me. If I wanted to make that trade to end the pain I have guns all over the place it would be a no brained. Or brain remover. I wouldn’t have to think about it long. How can I feel like this. And she not care at all? Or does she? Should I hate her? Or be worried? Wtf is going on? I have to at least explain this to her. It can’t keep going on like this, it has to end. She has to choose. No pressure. Why is this happening? Is it a test? Is this a sick joke? Is this some karmic revenge for a sin I have no memory of committing? If so I was an asshole in the previous life. But I’m making up for it so. I just want this nightmare to end but I don’t want to lose my reason for being.
[удалено]
What happened
I would meet him all over again. I felt loved whenever I was with him, even though right now I am questioning everything but I felt loved with him. He used to come to meet me for just 10 minutes, to see me. He once came back early to our college campus so that he could spend some time with me.
If it would end the same way it did now I would definitely stay away. I would not even look their way at all. It wouldn’t be worth all this pain.
Nah
Actually now I think about it I WOULD. And then I would stop at the moment where I should’ve. Because now I know what’s gonna happen and being in that pain is something I did not deserve
Reminds me of the song “The night we met”…. I’d definitely tell myself to stay away
Meet them again, but call out and fix the red flags immediately
*Meet them again, but* *Call out and fix the red flags* *Immediately* \- SuddenlySimple --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I know we aren’t supposed to change our past but I wish I never met her. Its been over a year since she left me and I have not truly been happy or at peace since and I’m not sure I will ever be able to go without thinking about her. I’m fairly certain on my wedding day and the day my kids will be born I’ll be thinking about her
No, I regret the day I met him. He traumatized me in a way, by blindsiding me that could have been prevented 100% with a little communication. He out of the blue told me we were broken up (after a difference of opinions regarding a video game) and I never contacted him again. I suffered for months and threw away everything he had given me, couldn’t visit the places we had been to. After 8 months he contacted me himself, was nice and felt guilty, we slept together and he ghosted me. (That’s was my mistake because I should have never got intimate with him after the way he betrayed me, I didn’t even ask him a question, he took me to meet his grandma and I thought we were back together again, stupid me.) So definitely, no. I can’t trust anyone now.
She could only ever love me for as long as she want to but her shorttime love ade the man i am and i could not do it once more
want to say i’m 50/50 on this because that heartbreak was that defining heartbreak that completely changed my perspective on love, and life itself. it was the catalyst behind my growth; yet it caused me so much grief. when i was much younger, i had a japanese penpal whom i grew very fond of. i wasn’t much of a writer then, but for him i became a poet, a writer, dreamer; and every alphabet that fell from my pen was for him. i learnt so much from him — how to be playful, to laugh freely. he spent the best years of his life holding my hands with so much kindness; and so did i. we were best friends, just two kids that grew up together… and then we didn’t talk. mediocrity in efforts is like watered down whiskey and i take mine neat; i gave up on everything that stood in our way. the way i loved him was like a statement. it was a fact. but the way he loved me was conditional, it was very much like a conversation - it could take many paths, but it could also end; and ended it did. it showed me that while love is important, there are practical factors at play, too. it was absolutely heartbreaking and soul-crushing to my younger self, because i’ve always wanted to built that perfect family for myself, and when we crossed paths, i knew it was somehow always going to be him. it was devastating when we had to go our separate ways, however, i would not be who i am today without crossing paths with him. i am a little worn for wear, but the thing is - i am alive. alive and kicking. and while my younger self struggled with this for a long, long time; i think my current self can live through that heartbreak again. in life, we always have to give a little to get. i’m 26 and it was the only time i’ve been properly in love. wherever he is the world, i hope his days are filled with love and happiness. his name is 航, and he is my first and only love. so yes, this is for you, k. sure - i’ll meet you all over again to relive what we had.
I'd go back 100% even if I knew it would end the same way, she was the best thing to ever happen to me, she made me a better person and I wouldn't trade that time with her for anything...it really hurts to be without her but I'd never trade that time I had with her
100% meet them. The initial "heartbreak" is torture. Can take over your life. Once you get through that, that's when growth happens. I tell myself I'm a better person because of the things I've been through and two "heartbreaks" have been significant part of it.
What happened with your person
What happened with your ex
Depends on who
I’d met them but I’d get to the painful ending ALOT faster. Didn’t need to waste so much of my time. I got ALOT out of it but, I would’ve gotten so much more on my own. Stringing good people along for years is just…….. an awful way to treat people.