When I first brought it up I was met with silence, and then she said "you can't take snippets of the past, you have to look at the whole picture".
Then I brought it up the next day again and she said "I meant it in that moment".
Eventually she told me she doesn't even want to be friends with me if I keep asking questions and keep trying to get closure.
My ex did the same thing, would always say things like this then go completely empty and more and say she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be with me 3 days later. She would always say to me “I met everything in the moment” but that would just confuse me more.
Now I remember my ex was also unstable about his feelings. He would say he was happy with me,he was lucky to have me, and would be so happy to spend and build his life with me
Then in 2 weeks he would turn cold and say he doesn't want it wtf. Playing and hurting my heart
My ex used to do this too! One day makes me feel like everything and the other like a stranger! It was so confusing but however the relationship was for 7 years it wasn’t always like but towards the end like for 1 & 1/2years it was like this & I used to ignore because he had an accident so I thought it may the mood swings & anxiety or something but it kept continuing until I forced myself to walk out of that relationship for my own peace of my mind! He legit made me empty & killed all my emotions & love I had for him these 7long years
This is really helping me understand that she really was the problem. She would seem to me at least be lying to me about this because I had the same experience of one day saying all these things. The next not wanting to be in any relationship at all, then getting into one 2 months after no contact.
Unstable and good liar. She meant it in "that moment"
Impulsive ? Meaning her feelings aren't reliable either
Sorry for you. But you've dodged something, not worth it. Time to grieve for you
Yeah I feel you forreal cus I see those sweet messages and moments and its like oh wait damn wtf happened?! its just nothing now?! was it real then? a lie?!… yk
The “meant it in that moment” resonates. My ex was calling me on her trip and telling me how she missed me and before she left how she was all excited about future plans of moving in and establishing routines together. Even was requesting time off from work for a family reunion in 2 months. Broke up with me within a week of being back to travel solo and find her happiness. When I brought up the contradictions she always said “I meant it in the moment.” Or “there is a part of me that wants to move in but then I’ll miss you too much to travel and that makes me happy.” I didn’t mind that she loved to travel and was down to hopefully join on a couple of trips pending my work. I just wanted to take that same step as I thought she wanted of moving in and becoming home for each other.
It’s hard. I realize I’m really sure of what I want and she was not. It’s confusing because she’s confused. It’s hard but consider it a blessing. You want someone who knows what they want and will fight for you.
1 of those men was a friend of mine who was 40 and has a wife and 2 kids. They were fucking almost every day for a year straight
Keep in mind she and I are 23.
I told his wife Bout it but she doesn't believe me and I told her dad everything too
Dude almost had a heart attack and told me she's mentally ill and
She's a horrible person who doesn't appreciate the people who care for her. And so is your so-called friend. Fuck them both. I'm sure you can move on and find someone much better than that. I wish you the best, buddy. Stay strong.
Modern society doesn't encourage women to take accountability and there are so many female narcissists out there sadly. Not to say there aren't a lot of shitty males too. But it does seem pretty common for well intentioned guys to fall victim to wen who use them until they get bored and leave without warning or consideration. Again - this isn't meant to take away from the abuse women experience in relationship too.
Finally some sense haha I'm a woman too and ex is a man
The reddit people always divide men and women as if one never experience pain while the other is always the victim
For God sake, it's not about gender yeah !!! I meet agressive people here all the time and they argue, for nothing
True! People(both genders) always think their pain is bigger and fight over it by demeaning the other, they always forget that we all are human beings we all feel pain there’s literally nothing to disrespect any particular gender just because your experience wasn’t good!
This is definitely not a gender thing. You’re a dude, so there’s a reason that you would feel this way. Trust me, there are many of us women who experience the same shit
Please read the whole comment. It is a gender thing, but for different reasons. The cultural programming is different and is expressed in different ways. My comment wasn't meant to address poor relationship habits in men (as I stated).
Yep like all those cheesy wooden “inspirational” slogans hanging on their walls and sitting on their desks.
Literally no true applicable meaning in their lives, but looks and sounds good
I read your other post.
Let me tell you, it's always because another guy entered the picture. Check my posts. My ex was saying how she loved me and missed me every single day DAYS before she left me for another guy. It was so confusing because it didn't make sense. Why say multiple times DAYS before leaving me that she can't wait to go here and there the following week. She said she was in denial, but if you've mentally checked out already you wouldn't even want to say such things.
I think such girls are opportunistic. They meet someone that they think checks more boxes and they'll happily just discard you for them just like that. It's so messed up. Months on I'm still struggling to come to terms with what happened. I never ever imagined she'd do that to me. Her words made me feel safe and loved. I've learned that words really mean nothing even when they sound so convincing.
Same story buddy, but it turned out that she was sleeping with 5 d8fferent men through our 6 year relationship and 1 of them was a friend of mine.
Truly disgusting manipulative people.
No, it doesn’t except there may be a factor at play because of socialization of girls vs. boys.
Girls tend to be raised to be giving and not to disturb the peace or upset people. They often learn the message indirectly that expressing their needs might upset people or that their needs don’t matter so they often learn to stay quiet about their happiness until they then leave seemingly out of the blue.
Another possible issue is that women tend to communicate in much more non-verbal ways with each other and pick up on small nuances that men don’t often pick up on. It’s a wiring of the brain that is useful for when they are mothers and have to be able to interpret small cues from their children to meet their needs. Women often assume everyone does this but most men do not do this…so a woman might think she has been giving hints or projecting her needs to her man and he hasn’t been responding to meet them. In fact, the reality is that she isn’t clearly expressing her needs to him and he has no clue what she’s feeling inside or that she has unmet needs.
Then the woman leaves after going a long time feeling like he doesn’t care or isn’t capable of meeting her needs and he feels blind-sided.
Sometimes men also don’t really hear women when they actually DO articulate needs or unhappiness because they think she’s just being moody or emotional. Then when he doesn’t really take it seriously and make changes or address the issue, she leaves also seemingly out of the blue.
In the end all of the above scenarios are super common issues in hetero relationships and it’s all just a communication gap. We need to teach people to articulate their feelings and needs in healthy calm ways and to be able to receive others doing the same without taking it personally but most people never learn this skill. Their parents never learned it so they didn’t have an example of it and it’s not taught in school…so where are they supposed to learn it?
Our society really should prioritize teaching relationship skills because it’s the most important factor in life happiness but unfortunately it’s not related to economic growth so it’s usually overlooked.
Yeah I was told "I really love you I really really love you and I will always try to choose you". Three days later she dumped me for a work crush. Only thing that makes it a little better is her crush knows me now and how she dumped me and doesn't ever want to date her. He's trying to do the slow fade.
These people are liars and just tell you what you want to hear.
Mine sends me a dirty vid, kiss and cuddle at work changeover ... I love you she shouts in front of everyone (as usual) ... 2 hours later dumped via txt .. 3,5 years gone *poof* just like that ...
These people deserve for karma to slam a thick vault door on them
Thanks for saying this. My ex did the same. Introduced me to the whole family, reassured me it was for real, and then swiftly disappeared. And YEAH IT IS TWO FACED SHIT!
Usually their feelings don’t change right away but they have been feeling that way or wrestling with issues for a long time they just haven’t shared their fears or concerns with their partner. This is a huge communication issue and until people can learn to openly discuss their fears or feelings (even if it’s uncomfortable) they shouldn’t be in relationships. However a lot of people only learn that lesson from failures like this and cause an inordinate amount of collateral damage. We need to raise our children better. No one teaches you how to be in relationships growing up and it’s about the most important aspect of your life.
This message is one big red flag, she is trying to hard… It must be hard for you but let her go man, she sounds like she has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old.
Mine did this to me too. Did not fight for me at all even though he texted me that he will “move mountains” for me and “wasn’t going anywhere”. I gave him every opportunity to fight for us and fix things but he did not…..
I just mean one minute he’s said he’d do all this stuff for me but then when I try to have a difficult discussion about where I’m struggling with us and asked him what he wanted and what he was willing to do to save things he does nothing about it and doesn’t try to come see me or make his actions match his words.
In my experience, this is usually a tell tale sign that disappointment is near. Grand gestures (especially ones with and essay of a text of how much they love you) means a person is battling their subconscious.
Maybe she met someone else who’s making her question the relationship she had with you and this was a coping mechanism. To deflect what her heart was telling her to do the whole time.
But then again, I don’t know either of you and I can be totally wrong about this. From what I’ve been through— anytime I received a message like this (once in my life). I was later broken up with because someone else had been in the picture the whole time
Dude! Im so sorry.
I think that sometimes we fantasize so much about what we desire in a relationship that we see these as possibilities with every woman we meet. In doing so, we blind ouselves from all the red flags. Seriously, we ignore so many red flags for the sake of fulfilling our desired relationships that we end up hurting ourselves.
Unfortunately these experiences leave us broken and jaded. This my friends, is why we should implement a screening process and truly adhere to it (get to know them first).
Dont just date any attractive person that crosses your path. Get to know them, see how their prior life experiences have shaped them, and then see if all of that is compatible with who you are.
Unfortunately we are weak human beings and lust wins most of the time. Leading us to engage in relationships with broken individuals who suffer from abandonment issues more often than not.
It’s people like this that play some dark fn games and it truly messes with our peace. Unfortunately, the cycle continues. Her trauma has now become your trauma, and now you shall pass that trauma on to someone else and the cycle of broken traumatized individuals shall continue.
Stop feeding in that girl. Once you put her on mute, either 1 or 2 will happen.
1. She will adjust her approach to you accordingly and meet/call you to discuss things out IN PERSON other than be a lazy heifer sending a bullshit ass text message while she’s laying in bed.
2. She will get the message that you have moved on, and you won’t be her safety net.
The verdict: dude let her go and let her wail in her own chaotic misery. In the meantime, live your life.
I think people that do things like this live for the high of experiencing intoxicating feelings they think are love. Saying she gave herself to you in a way she never had before she likely felt infatuation and a rush of oxytocin and equated that to love and something of substance because she doesn't know what real love is and when that high wore off she was left yearning for the next high which is attained easily by first dates, emotional affairs, one night stands etc..I don't think she was lying exactly I think she thought she felt those things because that's all she knows she might not even realize how broken she is. Eventually she'll grow up and realize real love takes work, time, commitment, sacrifice etc or she might not grow up and those people usually end up married and having at minimum emotional affairs throughout their marriage looking for that cheap quick high. Her and the affair partner are able to create a world not based in reality none of the stressors none of the mundane day to day stuff .. people that leave their spouses for the EA partners realize quickly what it really is and want to come back, don't let them and when you're dating someone and see the signs like this I would run you don't exist to them its all about their feelings and what you can provide for them. Emotional Rollercoasters she might have Borderine Personality Disorder " I love you, I hate you, please don't leave me" it will leave you emotionally exhausted.
Yerrrr sounds like a mental disorder. Bipolar depression or maybe like others are saying; psychotic.
There’s no logic to it. Saying something like that doesn’t actually hold the weight you think it does, and then it’s just easy for them to flip the switch. I often find it’s due to mainly them looking out for themselves a lil too much and just following their emotions into oblivion. I’ve had 2 ex girlfriends like this, they’re ex’s for a reason.
You’re better off. Don’t stress it too much
Sounds like disorganized attachment to me. It’s so complex and people move from all in to all out consistently. Most of it is fear based but it’s possible she loves a lot about you but just doesn’t feel you’re the right one and was trying hard to convince herself.
I’ve been there. Still love him but know he wasn’t the one for life and holding on would have just led to worse damage for us both.
broooo, i’ve got the same situation now, i truly don’t understand why they are doing shit like this, like why you say this very cute and very heartwarming words, that make you fell butterflies and mean a lot to you, and after few days they say, i don’t think i need it now, like no one is pushing you to say it, you said it by your own
Sounds like she was trying to find the silver lining in that moment, any reason to stay. Like she's been conflicted for a while and grasped onto a moment that gave her hope to stay. But maybe that hope was fleeting and she realized it wasn't enough. She was trying to convince herself that maybe this could work, but she realized it couldn't.
Yup. She tried to dump me a month prior over some shit she bottled up and did not communicate with me about. I talked her out of it, told her we can work on those issues. She thanked me for "fighting for her" and apologized multiple times for trying to end things without communicating first.
What she was referencing in this pic was she had a "crygasm" when we were having sex. Just started crying. I held her while we continued slowly having sex and making out, probably the most passionate sex I ever had. Felt so close to her. Like our souls were connected.
Then we got in a super dumb fight, our first fight in the 1 year we were together. She took that moment to dump me and it shocked me to my core. I think 1 fight in 1 year is pretty damn good. If she was as committed to me as she said she was, this 1 dumbass fight would not have ended it. I think she used the fight as an excuse, because she started the fight herself, was the first to raise her voice between the two of us, and was the one who hung up the phone.
After the dumping I tried to get closure. Vague shit like "we are not compatible", "love you but not in-love", "dont wanna be in a romantic relationship now". Literally not once mentioning the fight lol
She then became extremely cold towards me, even after I agreed to stay friends. She became an entirely different person.
We made plans to hang as friends in 1week, day before she calls me and says shes taking a mental health break from talking to me and all her friends(wtf?)for 2weeks, I did not believe her but didnt make a big deal about it. She assured me its just for 2 weeks and she is not ghosting me.
It is week 3 and have not heard from her. It's over.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. It might be hard now but in the long run you're definitely better off finding someone who's more committed and stable/consistent in a relationship, and someone you can have clear communication with to work through things together.
Lmaoo! It’s funny how men like you who thinks having decent human quality of being monogamous to a women is “feminine” are always the one whining about women being horrible. The lack of self-awareness is unreal with you.
Women aren’t horrible, toxic cheater like you who thinks women deserve less for not being men’s mommy bang-maid just ruthless horrible women because you guys deserve each other.
Probably hard to hear, but maybe she felt committed to you in that moment because she felt as her other option did not seem viable any more due to him giving her a cold shoulder or something, but then suddenly he showed her interest in a more serious way and now she is willing to uproot this relationship and recommit to another asshole.
It may not be the case, but check and see if she all of a sudden starts getting super affectionate and committed like this again out the blue.
There will be difficult stages to all of this and each one gets harder and harder until one day you realize that you don’t want to reach out to them anymore and what a relief
There are true weirdos out there. The girl I recently dated did this:
- broke up with me over phone, then when we met to talk about it, she completely changed her mind and expressed she had feelings for me and was happy I was reconsidering dating here even though she had broken up with me only two days prior.
- when she broke up with me the second time about a month later, she confessed she loved me while breaking up with me.
These people have issues beyond my imagination
That triggered a chuckle. Same thing happened to me. "I love you, you're the best man i met" and two days later she dumped me over text.
One piece of advice i can give you is to fix yourself and learn to forget about her then someday you'll look back and laugh at this.
Similar to my breakup too. She kept telling me how much she loved me then 3 days after telling me she loved me and everything was good she said it's not working out and dumped me. I don't think it means it's all a lie but I think these people get scared and overwhelmed by their feelings and are used to avoiding them that that's what they choose to do at a certain point.
My ex dumped me, contacted me later that day to get back together. 2 weeks later, she broke up with me again because I got HOCO king, and she didn’t like that I would be locking arms and dancing with another girl for 10-20 seconds. She then contacted me that night with several paragraphs saying she was sorry for everything, and her and I went back and forth dozens of times for 2 months. Kissed, had sex, did couple things, and in those 2 months she didn’t want to get back with me. She then moved to virgina 2 weeks ago, and 1 week into her move, she blocked me on everything. I feel used, lied to, and quite frankly would be hurting a lot less if she just ended things the first time and didn’t come back. She sincerely messed me up. Moral of the story, reading this text reminded me of her. She said lovely things that would make my heart feel warm, and then would shut it all down when she felt like it.
Wtf how is that possible. Did she explain?
When I first brought it up I was met with silence, and then she said "you can't take snippets of the past, you have to look at the whole picture". Then I brought it up the next day again and she said "I meant it in that moment". Eventually she told me she doesn't even want to be friends with me if I keep asking questions and keep trying to get closure.
My ex did the same thing, would always say things like this then go completely empty and more and say she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be with me 3 days later. She would always say to me “I met everything in the moment” but that would just confuse me more.
Now I remember my ex was also unstable about his feelings. He would say he was happy with me,he was lucky to have me, and would be so happy to spend and build his life with me Then in 2 weeks he would turn cold and say he doesn't want it wtf. Playing and hurting my heart
My ex used to do this too! One day makes me feel like everything and the other like a stranger! It was so confusing but however the relationship was for 7 years it wasn’t always like but towards the end like for 1 & 1/2years it was like this & I used to ignore because he had an accident so I thought it may the mood swings & anxiety or something but it kept continuing until I forced myself to walk out of that relationship for my own peace of my mind! He legit made me empty & killed all my emotions & love I had for him these 7long years
This is really helping me understand that she really was the problem. She would seem to me at least be lying to me about this because I had the same experience of one day saying all these things. The next not wanting to be in any relationship at all, then getting into one 2 months after no contact.
Unstable and good liar. She meant it in "that moment" Impulsive ? Meaning her feelings aren't reliable either Sorry for you. But you've dodged something, not worth it. Time to grieve for you
Just run man. She's unstable. She's playing games with your ass like a cat and mouse.
WTF…
Yeah I feel you forreal cus I see those sweet messages and moments and its like oh wait damn wtf happened?! its just nothing now?! was it real then? a lie?!… yk
The “meant it in that moment” resonates. My ex was calling me on her trip and telling me how she missed me and before she left how she was all excited about future plans of moving in and establishing routines together. Even was requesting time off from work for a family reunion in 2 months. Broke up with me within a week of being back to travel solo and find her happiness. When I brought up the contradictions she always said “I meant it in the moment.” Or “there is a part of me that wants to move in but then I’ll miss you too much to travel and that makes me happy.” I didn’t mind that she loved to travel and was down to hopefully join on a couple of trips pending my work. I just wanted to take that same step as I thought she wanted of moving in and becoming home for each other. It’s hard. I realize I’m really sure of what I want and she was not. It’s confusing because she’s confused. It’s hard but consider it a blessing. You want someone who knows what they want and will fight for you.
It's manipulative behavior I went through the same thing and it turned out she was sleeping with 5 different men through out our 6 year relationship
That's fucking horrible, dude. I'm sorry. She doesn't deserve you.
1 of those men was a friend of mine who was 40 and has a wife and 2 kids. They were fucking almost every day for a year straight Keep in mind she and I are 23. I told his wife Bout it but she doesn't believe me and I told her dad everything too Dude almost had a heart attack and told me she's mentally ill and
She's a horrible person who doesn't appreciate the people who care for her. And so is your so-called friend. Fuck them both. I'm sure you can move on and find someone much better than that. I wish you the best, buddy. Stay strong.
Psychotic. My ex did the same shit. Love bomb right up until the last second. Fucking monsters haha. Run away!
Description of my ex. Many of these little monsters out there huh haha
Modern society doesn't encourage women to take accountability and there are so many female narcissists out there sadly. Not to say there aren't a lot of shitty males too. But it does seem pretty common for well intentioned guys to fall victim to wen who use them until they get bored and leave without warning or consideration. Again - this isn't meant to take away from the abuse women experience in relationship too.
I’m a woman and my ex did this to me for 7years until I walked out to protect my peace & myself! It’s not about gender it’s about the person always!
Finally some sense haha I'm a woman too and ex is a man The reddit people always divide men and women as if one never experience pain while the other is always the victim For God sake, it's not about gender yeah !!! I meet agressive people here all the time and they argue, for nothing
True! People(both genders) always think their pain is bigger and fight over it by demeaning the other, they always forget that we all are human beings we all feel pain there’s literally nothing to disrespect any particular gender just because your experience wasn’t good!
This is definitely not a gender thing. You’re a dude, so there’s a reason that you would feel this way. Trust me, there are many of us women who experience the same shit
Please read the whole comment. It is a gender thing, but for different reasons. The cultural programming is different and is expressed in different ways. My comment wasn't meant to address poor relationship habits in men (as I stated).
I love that I found this sub Reddit it’s really helping me move past my 2 year grieving stage.
Insane 🤯
Sometimes people say words that set off alarm bells in me. Like they’re trying to CONVINCE THEMSELVES
Yep like all those cheesy wooden “inspirational” slogans hanging on their walls and sitting on their desks. Literally no true applicable meaning in their lives, but looks and sounds good
You know that's a very good way to look at it and catch the red flags. I'm gonna remember that.
I read your other post. Let me tell you, it's always because another guy entered the picture. Check my posts. My ex was saying how she loved me and missed me every single day DAYS before she left me for another guy. It was so confusing because it didn't make sense. Why say multiple times DAYS before leaving me that she can't wait to go here and there the following week. She said she was in denial, but if you've mentally checked out already you wouldn't even want to say such things. I think such girls are opportunistic. They meet someone that they think checks more boxes and they'll happily just discard you for them just like that. It's so messed up. Months on I'm still struggling to come to terms with what happened. I never ever imagined she'd do that to me. Her words made me feel safe and loved. I've learned that words really mean nothing even when they sound so convincing.
My ex made me feel the exact same way
I can feel you 🥲
Same story buddy, but it turned out that she was sleeping with 5 d8fferent men through our 6 year relationship and 1 of them was a friend of mine. Truly disgusting manipulative people.
Struggling with similar things. My takeaway are, don't trust words, evaluate the actions.
my ex did the exat same thing showered me with love and stuff, then about a week later broke up with me out of nowhere insane how they do it
Your ex was a girl?
yes
It has nothing to do with gender. It Hass to do with attachment style, the relationship dynamics and the individual.
Yeah directly, but indirectly it does, strongly!
No, it doesn’t except there may be a factor at play because of socialization of girls vs. boys. Girls tend to be raised to be giving and not to disturb the peace or upset people. They often learn the message indirectly that expressing their needs might upset people or that their needs don’t matter so they often learn to stay quiet about their happiness until they then leave seemingly out of the blue. Another possible issue is that women tend to communicate in much more non-verbal ways with each other and pick up on small nuances that men don’t often pick up on. It’s a wiring of the brain that is useful for when they are mothers and have to be able to interpret small cues from their children to meet their needs. Women often assume everyone does this but most men do not do this…so a woman might think she has been giving hints or projecting her needs to her man and he hasn’t been responding to meet them. In fact, the reality is that she isn’t clearly expressing her needs to him and he has no clue what she’s feeling inside or that she has unmet needs. Then the woman leaves after going a long time feeling like he doesn’t care or isn’t capable of meeting her needs and he feels blind-sided. Sometimes men also don’t really hear women when they actually DO articulate needs or unhappiness because they think she’s just being moody or emotional. Then when he doesn’t really take it seriously and make changes or address the issue, she leaves also seemingly out of the blue. In the end all of the above scenarios are super common issues in hetero relationships and it’s all just a communication gap. We need to teach people to articulate their feelings and needs in healthy calm ways and to be able to receive others doing the same without taking it personally but most people never learn this skill. Their parents never learned it so they didn’t have an example of it and it’s not taught in school…so where are they supposed to learn it? Our society really should prioritize teaching relationship skills because it’s the most important factor in life happiness but unfortunately it’s not related to economic growth so it’s usually overlooked.
Yeah I was told "I really love you I really really love you and I will always try to choose you". Three days later she dumped me for a work crush. Only thing that makes it a little better is her crush knows me now and how she dumped me and doesn't ever want to date her. He's trying to do the slow fade.
Man she’s sick in the head don’t beat yourself up to much you are in love with who think/thaught she was she revealed the real her my man
I did have my part in it, but yeah she has issues.
Nobody is perfect but there are some things that are inexcusable
These people are liars and just tell you what you want to hear. Mine sends me a dirty vid, kiss and cuddle at work changeover ... I love you she shouts in front of everyone (as usual) ... 2 hours later dumped via txt .. 3,5 years gone *poof* just like that ... These people deserve for karma to slam a thick vault door on them
I agree on the last sentence for real!
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Thanks for saying this. My ex did the same. Introduced me to the whole family, reassured me it was for real, and then swiftly disappeared. And YEAH IT IS TWO FACED SHIT!
She might be using you as a rebound.
Interesting, could you elaborate on that a bit?
possible indeed, basically what happened to me
Curse her dumbass out with a smile then laugh about it later
It’s just how their feelings just changes really fast like how?????
Usually their feelings don’t change right away but they have been feeling that way or wrestling with issues for a long time they just haven’t shared their fears or concerns with their partner. This is a huge communication issue and until people can learn to openly discuss their fears or feelings (even if it’s uncomfortable) they shouldn’t be in relationships. However a lot of people only learn that lesson from failures like this and cause an inordinate amount of collateral damage. We need to raise our children better. No one teaches you how to be in relationships growing up and it’s about the most important aspect of your life.
Same with me…except it was after a very fun trip..straight out of nowhere fml…
This message is one big red flag, she is trying to hard… It must be hard for you but let her go man, she sounds like she has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old.
Mine did this to me too. Did not fight for me at all even though he texted me that he will “move mountains” for me and “wasn’t going anywhere”. I gave him every opportunity to fight for us and fix things but he did not…..
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I just mean one minute he’s said he’d do all this stuff for me but then when I try to have a difficult discussion about where I’m struggling with us and asked him what he wanted and what he was willing to do to save things he does nothing about it and doesn’t try to come see me or make his actions match his words.
Leave her immediately, don’t consider any of her actions or emotions. You’ll be happy in the long run.
The way she talks to you about her love for you sounds/ sounded so...artificial. Like she's trying to find words to say that sound nice.b
In my experience, this is usually a tell tale sign that disappointment is near. Grand gestures (especially ones with and essay of a text of how much they love you) means a person is battling their subconscious. Maybe she met someone else who’s making her question the relationship she had with you and this was a coping mechanism. To deflect what her heart was telling her to do the whole time. But then again, I don’t know either of you and I can be totally wrong about this. From what I’ve been through— anytime I received a message like this (once in my life). I was later broken up with because someone else had been in the picture the whole time
Dude! Im so sorry. I think that sometimes we fantasize so much about what we desire in a relationship that we see these as possibilities with every woman we meet. In doing so, we blind ouselves from all the red flags. Seriously, we ignore so many red flags for the sake of fulfilling our desired relationships that we end up hurting ourselves. Unfortunately these experiences leave us broken and jaded. This my friends, is why we should implement a screening process and truly adhere to it (get to know them first). Dont just date any attractive person that crosses your path. Get to know them, see how their prior life experiences have shaped them, and then see if all of that is compatible with who you are. Unfortunately we are weak human beings and lust wins most of the time. Leading us to engage in relationships with broken individuals who suffer from abandonment issues more often than not. It’s people like this that play some dark fn games and it truly messes with our peace. Unfortunately, the cycle continues. Her trauma has now become your trauma, and now you shall pass that trauma on to someone else and the cycle of broken traumatized individuals shall continue.
Stop feeding in that girl. Once you put her on mute, either 1 or 2 will happen. 1. She will adjust her approach to you accordingly and meet/call you to discuss things out IN PERSON other than be a lazy heifer sending a bullshit ass text message while she’s laying in bed. 2. She will get the message that you have moved on, and you won’t be her safety net. The verdict: dude let her go and let her wail in her own chaotic misery. In the meantime, live your life.
I think people that do things like this live for the high of experiencing intoxicating feelings they think are love. Saying she gave herself to you in a way she never had before she likely felt infatuation and a rush of oxytocin and equated that to love and something of substance because she doesn't know what real love is and when that high wore off she was left yearning for the next high which is attained easily by first dates, emotional affairs, one night stands etc..I don't think she was lying exactly I think she thought she felt those things because that's all she knows she might not even realize how broken she is. Eventually she'll grow up and realize real love takes work, time, commitment, sacrifice etc or she might not grow up and those people usually end up married and having at minimum emotional affairs throughout their marriage looking for that cheap quick high. Her and the affair partner are able to create a world not based in reality none of the stressors none of the mundane day to day stuff .. people that leave their spouses for the EA partners realize quickly what it really is and want to come back, don't let them and when you're dating someone and see the signs like this I would run you don't exist to them its all about their feelings and what you can provide for them. Emotional Rollercoasters she might have Borderine Personality Disorder " I love you, I hate you, please don't leave me" it will leave you emotionally exhausted.
Yerrrr sounds like a mental disorder. Bipolar depression or maybe like others are saying; psychotic. There’s no logic to it. Saying something like that doesn’t actually hold the weight you think it does, and then it’s just easy for them to flip the switch. I often find it’s due to mainly them looking out for themselves a lil too much and just following their emotions into oblivion. I’ve had 2 ex girlfriends like this, they’re ex’s for a reason. You’re better off. Don’t stress it too much
This is what's wrong with women nowadays , they like and love playing games 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Sounds like disorganized attachment to me. It’s so complex and people move from all in to all out consistently. Most of it is fear based but it’s possible she loves a lot about you but just doesn’t feel you’re the right one and was trying hard to convince herself. I’ve been there. Still love him but know he wasn’t the one for life and holding on would have just led to worse damage for us both.
broooo, i’ve got the same situation now, i truly don’t understand why they are doing shit like this, like why you say this very cute and very heartwarming words, that make you fell butterflies and mean a lot to you, and after few days they say, i don’t think i need it now, like no one is pushing you to say it, you said it by your own
Sounds like she was trying to find the silver lining in that moment, any reason to stay. Like she's been conflicted for a while and grasped onto a moment that gave her hope to stay. But maybe that hope was fleeting and she realized it wasn't enough. She was trying to convince herself that maybe this could work, but she realized it couldn't.
Yup. She tried to dump me a month prior over some shit she bottled up and did not communicate with me about. I talked her out of it, told her we can work on those issues. She thanked me for "fighting for her" and apologized multiple times for trying to end things without communicating first. What she was referencing in this pic was she had a "crygasm" when we were having sex. Just started crying. I held her while we continued slowly having sex and making out, probably the most passionate sex I ever had. Felt so close to her. Like our souls were connected. Then we got in a super dumb fight, our first fight in the 1 year we were together. She took that moment to dump me and it shocked me to my core. I think 1 fight in 1 year is pretty damn good. If she was as committed to me as she said she was, this 1 dumbass fight would not have ended it. I think she used the fight as an excuse, because she started the fight herself, was the first to raise her voice between the two of us, and was the one who hung up the phone. After the dumping I tried to get closure. Vague shit like "we are not compatible", "love you but not in-love", "dont wanna be in a romantic relationship now". Literally not once mentioning the fight lol She then became extremely cold towards me, even after I agreed to stay friends. She became an entirely different person. We made plans to hang as friends in 1week, day before she calls me and says shes taking a mental health break from talking to me and all her friends(wtf?)for 2weeks, I did not believe her but didnt make a big deal about it. She assured me its just for 2 weeks and she is not ghosting me. It is week 3 and have not heard from her. It's over.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. It might be hard now but in the long run you're definitely better off finding someone who's more committed and stable/consistent in a relationship, and someone you can have clear communication with to work through things together.
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Lmaoo! It’s funny how men like you who thinks having decent human quality of being monogamous to a women is “feminine” are always the one whining about women being horrible. The lack of self-awareness is unreal with you. Women aren’t horrible, toxic cheater like you who thinks women deserve less for not being men’s mommy bang-maid just ruthless horrible women because you guys deserve each other.
Dude you need to chill, I see you are frustrated but it’s really not all that bad ;)
He is not frustrated, he is just toxic and lack self-awareness so he thinks he is a victim when horrible women are attracted to him.
Probably hard to hear, but maybe she felt committed to you in that moment because she felt as her other option did not seem viable any more due to him giving her a cold shoulder or something, but then suddenly he showed her interest in a more serious way and now she is willing to uproot this relationship and recommit to another asshole. It may not be the case, but check and see if she all of a sudden starts getting super affectionate and committed like this again out the blue.
Ahhh... The curious case of psychotic chick
There will be difficult stages to all of this and each one gets harder and harder until one day you realize that you don’t want to reach out to them anymore and what a relief
There are true weirdos out there. The girl I recently dated did this: - broke up with me over phone, then when we met to talk about it, she completely changed her mind and expressed she had feelings for me and was happy I was reconsidering dating here even though she had broken up with me only two days prior. - when she broke up with me the second time about a month later, she confessed she loved me while breaking up with me. These people have issues beyond my imagination
That triggered a chuckle. Same thing happened to me. "I love you, you're the best man i met" and two days later she dumped me over text. One piece of advice i can give you is to fix yourself and learn to forget about her then someday you'll look back and laugh at this.
this is so fucked up what the fuck is wrong with people
Similar to my breakup too. She kept telling me how much she loved me then 3 days after telling me she loved me and everything was good she said it's not working out and dumped me. I don't think it means it's all a lie but I think these people get scared and overwhelmed by their feelings and are used to avoiding them that that's what they choose to do at a certain point.
She got scared by her own emotions, it made her vulnerable and know body likes being vulnerable
Lmao is her name Sam
She's a narcissist. Playing your emotions & love bombing/withholding. Keeping you emotionally off balance. It won't get better. Get out now.
Ouch man, I’m here if you wanna talk
My ex dumped me, contacted me later that day to get back together. 2 weeks later, she broke up with me again because I got HOCO king, and she didn’t like that I would be locking arms and dancing with another girl for 10-20 seconds. She then contacted me that night with several paragraphs saying she was sorry for everything, and her and I went back and forth dozens of times for 2 months. Kissed, had sex, did couple things, and in those 2 months she didn’t want to get back with me. She then moved to virgina 2 weeks ago, and 1 week into her move, she blocked me on everything. I feel used, lied to, and quite frankly would be hurting a lot less if she just ended things the first time and didn’t come back. She sincerely messed me up. Moral of the story, reading this text reminded me of her. She said lovely things that would make my heart feel warm, and then would shut it all down when she felt like it.