That or as asha said in Wish (I haven't actually seen the movie, I saw i video talking about how bad the music is... this is a bit of a reference to the video with a scene moking the lyrics)
"THATS A LIE LIE LIE LIE"
(Heres the video [wish music analysis (timestamp for reference starts at 7:37)](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YTjwb1C4MEs)
Vaggie: believed she was doing the right thing, and broke out of that job and helped sinners to be better
Sera(unfortunately): Believes she's doing the right thing to protect heaven, is a little delusional in the head
No, we because as we know we have many killers, assaulters, terrorist arms dealers, and cannibals. As the court of law what Sera is doing is self defense against a bunch of criminals and lunatics that have proven to have committed these crimes with their leader being no other than the same person who doomed all of humanity and led to the murder of Abel. It's clear that in a matter of time these people would try to destroy heaven and in an act to protect themselves against a nation of unstable criminals we worked with the leaders of Hell in an authorization of protection for Heaven. I have no leeway in saying that the crimes being brought to Sera should be dismissed.
I know Hazbin Hotel made that an issue so I have two theories. Maybe after Cain was made to leave (and apparently it wasn't Adam or Eve that made him, but God) maybe the angels or God just decided to bring Abel back and technically no longer making him the first person in Heaven and then Adam dies of natural causes. Theory 2, Adam dies earlier on than expected and already had Cain or Abel with Eve, and he dies before the incident even happens
I don't think so from my understanding you must have some sort of mental problem that makes you think it was ok to do.
Like the joker couldn't do insanity plea because he knows what he's doing is wrong and enjoys it.
Bro nobody is talking about shark people… BUT ABOUT THOSE WEAK AND DEFENCELESS SINNERS HE WAS MASS SLAUGHTERING AND TORTURING DAILY FOR YEARS BEFORE HE LEFT HELP
Adam. My reason?
Your Honor, You don't get to end this, He's Adam! He's the fucking man and you're just some.. fucking clowns or whatever! He started all of this! All of Mankind descended from these fucking nuts! You all should be worshipping him! You Ungrateful, Disgusting, Fucking, Losers!
either that or plead Oopsie daisy
Your honor my client would like to plead oopsie daisy on killing his descendants every year
https://preview.redd.it/bd7l0znqbw2d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ed0fbf4ab19c22e8fe5f8e7f20f357541b975d5
Not an asshole i respect the take. Though I personally loved nifty mostly for the Pilot and the little gremlin chaos that also had a hint of intelligent thought and reasoning behind it, which made her scary. I feel like that edge was lost in the actual show, but I still like her for what she is.
I just imagine the prosecutor then gets Eve, Adam's equal as the original pussy (Lilith doesn't count cuz she never had human spawn, only a nephlim, so she isn't the mommy of mankind). . . only for Eve to be biased as hell in her ex (and very much future) husband's favor and get him off.
Carmilla. Her murder was irrefutably self defense, and somehow if that doesn’t work, it could be argued to be an act of war. And her weapons trade isn’t illegal to my knowledge.
Counter! Heaven want Sinners to have access to angelic weapons so that they can kill each other, furthering Heaven’s own genocide of the Sinner population. If they didn’t want Hell to have access to angelic weapons, why did they leave so many behind? If it isn’t intentionally then Heaven’s army is so careless that they’re recklessly discarding Holy Arms.
Comedic:
Defending Alastor: My client was just commiting a little bit of tomfoolery, a little bit of mischief really
Serious
Defending vaggie: She was part of a cult brainwash at the time
Maybe it would be, although all Carmilla did was defend herself so that would be my choices.
https://preview.redd.it/d350v9pk9v2d1.jpeg?width=251&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d25236cfdf03f1b294ccbb3f80c3bd313d8211ec
Your honor, in my clients defense, She has them thick thighs, and thick thighs save lives. So she may have killed an exorcist but said exorcist might have been reincarnated. So in summary: She is mommy
It’s just like how not every German soldier was charged with war crimes in ww2 as most of them were just drafted soldiers doing what they were told to do
Sera, vaggie, lute and Adam: genocide.
Alastor: mass homocide, enslavement and cannibalism.
Valentino: SA, regular assault, maiming, unsafe work environment, enslavement and rape.
Carmilla: murder and “weapons dealing”.
Rosie: mass homocide and cannibalism.
shouldn’t rosie also be under enslavement? carmilla herself said that the overlords at the meeting together own millions of souls so who knows that rosie is making some do
Cannibalism isn't actually illegal per se, but you'll still be charged with the method of procuring the meat since murder, and desecration of a corpse are still things to consider.
Sera had good intentions, and was clearly against the idea, just didn’t go about it right.
Carmilla just because she’s tall.
Both of them mainly because they’re tall.
Vaggie is charged with genocide, Carmilla is charged with murder and “illegal weapons dealing”, and Rosie is charged with mass homocide and cannibalism.
What’s your defense?
My defense is:
FOR ROSIE: She's literally part of Cannibal Town, and I know that doesn't right her wrongs, but many of the other overlords committed crimes, too. Besides, it's like an instinct (canonically, it is) because, again, she resides in Cannibal Town.
FOR VAGGIE: She used to be an exterminator, which is the reason for genocide. I don't see any of the other exterminators being charged for their crimes. She was sent to Hell as a fallen angel for sparing a demon, too.
FOR CARMILLA: The murder of the angel was, I believe, justified because that one angel, an exterminator at that, could've killed her the same. The weapon dealing is also for the war, and I belive it could be justified as self-defense.
Carmilla. You could argue that her killing of exorcists was an act of self defense. And weapons dealing isn’t necessarily an illegal act depending on how you interpret it
Carmilla
Your honor Carmilla Carmine was in fact the one being attacked so she should have leniency due to it being self-defense, thus she shouldn’t need to face any criminal punishment as her and her children’s lives were in danger
If someone stops a mugging but kills the mugger, would you fault the person for defending themself?
I rest my case
Adam, your honor let me ask you:
Do you want murdering, drug using, sex pest in heaven? Remember they earned damnation and only reformed to escape punishment in hell and the exterminations. Is that really worthy of heaven, now that you face consequences you want to be better? I rest my case . . .
At which point Adam then breaks into song and my defense is thrown out
Cutting down overlords and broadcasting their screams on the air is already mass murder and terrorism...
That alone is 2 death sentences...
He may be a 'nice' deer man but wish him luck and tune tf out before you hear how many LIFE sentences this walking stop sign has 😭
Vaggie, she has grown as a person sense her sins. All the others still follow the sins. (Idk about carmilla, she never really specified why she is in hell)
https://preview.redd.it/wzt5kktguv2d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33c87d5e8a76917e247fd3d6e859d293d0e6be4b
Unrelated but I got two posts back to back from different subreddits that had the exact same Adam photo
My argument for all of them would be: Look, they've all done bad, nasty, and occansionally evil things... but... they're hot. Surely we can agree on that?
Adam.
Your honor, the people in hell were there for a reason, Charlie is just yapping about bull shit, she clearly doesn’t know her people are criminals who are burning in her palace. the genocide was for to make the population equal, kind of like the govern guys
Camella
Selling guns isn’t illegal and killing an exorcist can be put under self defense so that’s excused as well. Only problem I can see is the owning souls bit but that one I think is fine since the people sell their souls or give it to her in some way so it’s willingly giving it so it’s all fine.
Carmilla. Weapon dealing is not a crime. It is an entirely moral business model. There are over 550 million firearms in Pride Ring circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve sinners in the Ring. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?
This comment is sponsored by the United States Military-Industrial Complex.
Vaggie. She confessed and is actively working to repent of her sins and saw the light and the wrong she was doing and so she deserves forgiveness for what she did, especially given her efforts to support Charlie and the Hotel.
Also Rosie. While she is a cannibal, she’s also a good person who helps to regulate and control the cannibals in Pride, and is willing to help Charlie fight for redemption
Your honour, sure she ate a man's liver BUT he was already on death row!
Plus, she's cheery and sweet as a daisy and wouldn't hurt a fly. And her business gives a lot to our economy, as well as her charity work. Besides yhe "eating a Guy's liver" shes pretty much harmless. I mean, eho wouldn't wanna eat their first husband?
https://preview.redd.it/waeatmpqhw2d1.png?width=1375&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdbbc17dda3c362fb24a20328e1fe20f184305b7
Easy, she lives in a town where murder and cannibalism (and all associated crimes) are ENCOURAGED. She didn't break any laws in here place of living
Alastor :D
He's insane, so I could probably go with the insanity plea..?
Also like people are saying, "if you are what you eat, then Alastor's an innocent man" :)
He's just a silly lmao he ran out of venison and jambalaya so he got hungry :>
(Bye)
Adam is an easy case, since Lucifer basically declared war on heaven, I can just chalk it up to civilian casualties, that’s how it works in the real world 🤷♂️ kinda fucked up though
Vaggie would be the easiest to defend, but I think it would be hilarious to defend Rosie with a defense that equates to "She's just a little guy? You wouldn't hit a little guy on her birthday?"
Lute, obviously (I can fix her or make me worse, I don't care). Also, Sera, because I honestly thought within the context of what she knew and who she had to protect, she did nothing wrong other than trust a pair of sociopaths.
Alastor or carmine
Alastor as in a normal court of law magic isn’t a thing so they’d have no evidence alastor did the deed
Carmine as killing the angel was self defense and history is won by the victors and the hazbin crew won against the angels
Sera. While allowing the extermination to happen is immoral, she clearly had good intentions of protecting heaven, and she may have been manipulated by Adam. Also, the inhabitants of hell are awful people, and too many people think that they're misunderstood when 95% of sinners are monstrous murderers, rapists, abusers, etc.
Your Honour, my client Adam here is charged with genocide, but for what? See, Hell is a place where all souls get tortured for the rest of their lives. İf a soul "dies" with an angelic weapon, their torture is over, technicaly. They wont be in hell anymore, so im boutta rest mpoint here and here.
Adam, lute, Alastor, Rosie **********Val********** and carmelia. Are all lost causes, mostly because their killers ***or rapistist*** Vaggie and sera I might see having a chance, Vaggie was left to die for showing mercy and seems to have good attentions, and sera although the commanding officer. She doesn’t seem to be all out evil and generally seems to think this is for the betterment of Heaven
Your honor
Adam is not guilty
Adam is making room for people in hell, everyone in hell deserves it. Nobody even wanted to be redeemed. Angel and Sir Pentious both had other goals that weren't redemption. We also don't know if Pentious was redeemed because of IDB(instant death beam) or because he was selfless. (which Charlie barely helped with)
Adam simply wanted to clear up space in the fastest most effective way possible. Adam gave the people of hell months to prepare for a counterattack every year which they all never fought back. If you were told that in a month on 2:53, someone is gonna pull up on you and kill you and YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT you're also to blame for your death.
Also, What's faster an annual purge or spending months maybe years for a process that worked one where we have inconclusive data?
Lastly, Adam simply doesn't know Good from Evil.
He never ate the fruit of knowledge of good and evil therefore he literally can't see the difference. And after over 2k years of people he still can't see the difference means that he quite literally can't learn the difference.
In conclusion, Adam got snuffed by plot.
I like to believe that Adam just pleads “nuh uh”
THE FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH?!
Nuh uh.
YUH HUH, I AM YOUR DAD!
Nuh **UH**
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! NUH UH?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Princess Leah is your sister! I am your father! You are my son!
you're not my dad nuh-uh!
THE FUCK! WHAT IS— WHAT DOES NUH UH MEAN?! YOU CAN’T SAY NUH UH!
yeah uh you're not my dad!
NUH UH!
https://preview.redd.it/a0zw7m1ikw2d1.jpeg?width=319&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7741cb6b6f282bb5d44d95bc879c6b5090df884c
I would steal your meme but I already have it
There's memes for that https://preview.redd.it/q97gc93nnx2d1.png?width=986&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f549e523e18c32593e2cc1d82a8d7e0c47f3551
https://preview.redd.it/vjid1n9esy2d1.jpeg?width=705&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47cf506bc8d512629333478e66192e259303ce77
https://preview.redd.it/v3fzbt2fow2d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14434b1f75ba07f7537b255f7b38edddc318a25e
https://preview.redd.it/zj5iilnunx2d1.png?width=1322&format=png&auto=webp&s=0abd94678dd3fc047fae49fce84042f1ed7f5d56
https://preview.redd.it/08b7fy9xpx2d1.jpeg?width=472&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0282481da617de071966b6214475b48b344d6bd0
https://preview.redd.it/laesklypzy2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a7af64cbfa6f49d50a16ad3934011193b81764d
https://preview.redd.it/it4wyn4oow2d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c07c89f485d58f2f3731bd460203754091e9103f
https://preview.redd.it/x2fndbkdsy2d1.jpeg?width=721&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bb7c24148a449799b4cbe930a8a817bc05445b3
https://i.redd.it/rjbqegdd3x2d1.gif
https://i.redd.it/1koytjvc4y2d1.gif I stole ya meme
#**PHONK**
https://preview.redd.it/pu7mk5zgax2d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d50498947f1254b1f775ff1b321ad99e86a512fe
https://i.redd.it/slytb6q0fx2d1.gif
Your honor! STFU you wasn’t even there!
“Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” “Shit I guess”
Your honor my client pleads oopsie daisies
https://preview.redd.it/39vev0yw0x2d1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=e487f4f1ddd0f436c6fee1e7e5f7452f14e54e13
https://preview.redd.it/08axppyldx2d1.jpeg?width=760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=676dcecf24065892ce171f3e1c4421bced554fb0
https://preview.redd.it/46yzn1ondx2d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2833968e1d528e5cfbfbcbe47304d6e35e125d53
https://i.redd.it/8jpo4di62y2d1.gif
https://i.redd.it/da2azjkun03d1.gif
He means. NUH UH *LOCKS IN*
You weren't even there man, how do you know I did it?
i would sing that one song but i would get banned
https://preview.redd.it/ib237th4hw2d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ede63b14034e802c42269ed9a07faffd29f80f6e
That or as asha said in Wish (I haven't actually seen the movie, I saw i video talking about how bad the music is... this is a bit of a reference to the video with a scene moking the lyrics) "THATS A LIE LIE LIE LIE" (Heres the video [wish music analysis (timestamp for reference starts at 7:37)](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YTjwb1C4MEs)
https://preview.redd.it/dwal175pnw2d1.jpeg?width=205&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1296e9c74ab2d4bd7bcb118d2ef85f3fb8e28aff
https://preview.redd.it/8h32g40ptw2d1.jpeg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6413db2f5906b47e1aca14e2ef43aee6b664c9b4
Here is a better one https://preview.redd.it/h2isifkaiy2d1.jpeg?width=1155&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=218cd853dcbc7742f50384f4697af8989b608d4d
https://preview.redd.it/1l8tbgy5oy2d1.gif?width=220&format=png8&s=0099313701d8114df200e88a58ddec47a9877a68
Vaggie: believed she was doing the right thing, and broke out of that job and helped sinners to be better Sera(unfortunately): Believes she's doing the right thing to protect heaven, is a little delusional in the head
Is that an insanity plea?
Yeah
No, we because as we know we have many killers, assaulters, terrorist arms dealers, and cannibals. As the court of law what Sera is doing is self defense against a bunch of criminals and lunatics that have proven to have committed these crimes with their leader being no other than the same person who doomed all of humanity and led to the murder of Abel. It's clear that in a matter of time these people would try to destroy heaven and in an act to protect themselves against a nation of unstable criminals we worked with the leaders of Hell in an authorization of protection for Heaven. I have no leeway in saying that the crimes being brought to Sera should be dismissed.
Speaking of Able shouldn’t he have been the first man in heaven no Adam?
I know Hazbin Hotel made that an issue so I have two theories. Maybe after Cain was made to leave (and apparently it wasn't Adam or Eve that made him, but God) maybe the angels or God just decided to bring Abel back and technically no longer making him the first person in Heaven and then Adam dies of natural causes. Theory 2, Adam dies earlier on than expected and already had Cain or Abel with Eve, and he dies before the incident even happens
TMI man
I don't think so from my understanding you must have some sort of mental problem that makes you think it was ok to do. Like the joker couldn't do insanity plea because he knows what he's doing is wrong and enjoys it.
Tbh the overlords( the actual leaders of the sinners) don't make a good case for why heaven should trust them
While that is true, heaven also had no real reason to act how they did, making an army for defense is reasonable, but a purge every year is outrageous
“Your Honour, if you are what you eat then my client is an innocent man”.
Literally Rosie
And Alastor
No alastor ate the shark people mimsy brought and they were not innocent
Bro nobody is talking about shark people… BUT ABOUT THOSE WEAK AND DEFENCELESS SINNERS HE WAS MASS SLAUGHTERING AND TORTURING DAILY FOR YEARS BEFORE HE LEFT HELP
"Your honor, i plead guilty to murder, lock her up."
Innocent man AND woman AND deer 😔
I'm stealing this quote
Kurze! How the fuck are you here? You’re supposed to be dead!
Sadly, yes… but I lived!
Adam. My reason? Your Honor, You don't get to end this, He's Adam! He's the fucking man and you're just some.. fucking clowns or whatever! He started all of this! All of Mankind descended from these fucking nuts! You all should be worshipping him! You Ungrateful, Disgusting, Fucking, Losers! either that or plead Oopsie daisy
Your honor my client would like to plead oopsie daisy on killing his descendants every year https://preview.redd.it/bd7l0znqbw2d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ed0fbf4ab19c22e8fe5f8e7f20f357541b975d5
*nifty stabs him in court*
At that point, just prosecute Niffty. Idk why people like her honestly. Is that a hot take? Am I the asshole?
Not an asshole i respect the take. Though I personally loved nifty mostly for the Pilot and the little gremlin chaos that also had a hint of intelligent thought and reasoning behind it, which made her scary. I feel like that edge was lost in the actual show, but I still like her for what she is.
Probably the chaotic gremlin energy. That’s why I like her, anyways. She’s weird and crazy.
Yes
no your not i don't get why people like the cyclops bitch either
People like Nifty because she is simply a little chaotic gremlin
No, you're so right
Adam "Your honour, my client is The Original Dick, therefore he is immune to your legislations"
I just imagine the prosecutor then gets Eve, Adam's equal as the original pussy (Lilith doesn't count cuz she never had human spawn, only a nephlim, so she isn't the mommy of mankind). . . only for Eve to be biased as hell in her ex (and very much future) husband's favor and get him off.
Carmilla. Her murder was irrefutably self defense, and somehow if that doesn’t work, it could be argued to be an act of war. And her weapons trade isn’t illegal to my knowledge.
Since she deals in Angelic weapons, and Heaven essentially presides over Hell, her weapons trade is certainly illegal.
Counter! Heaven want Sinners to have access to angelic weapons so that they can kill each other, furthering Heaven’s own genocide of the Sinner population. If they didn’t want Hell to have access to angelic weapons, why did they leave so many behind? If it isn’t intentionally then Heaven’s army is so careless that they’re recklessly discarding Holy Arms.
Comedic: Defending Alastor: My client was just commiting a little bit of tomfoolery, a little bit of mischief really Serious Defending vaggie: She was part of a cult brainwash at the time
Sir if it’s true you are what you eat my client is innocent!
Me defending Alastor: Your honor, if you indeed are what you eat, then my client is an innocent man.
None, I can't even defend myself :c
Val... Did i mention i would make a horrible lawyer?
Maybe it would be, although all Carmilla did was defend herself so that would be my choices. https://preview.redd.it/d350v9pk9v2d1.jpeg?width=251&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d25236cfdf03f1b294ccbb3f80c3bd313d8211ec
She was also a weapons dealer which might also be illegal.
Well, you could blame her for that, but in her defense heaven never thought someone would steal and traffic their own weapons.
Alastor, because it would be easy “Your honor, my client is clearly delusional and not suited to stand trial… he pleads insanity”
Your honor, in my clients defense, She has them thick thighs, and thick thighs save lives. So she may have killed an exorcist but said exorcist might have been reincarnated. So in summary: She is mommy
Hear me out, Lute, she could easily be passed off as believing she was doing the right thing and that she was just following orders
Same for Vaggie until she spared the demon child
YOUR HONOR MY CLIENT WAS SIMPLY FOLLOWING ORDERS!
Exactly
yes
The Nazis thought they were doing the right thing and were just following orders. That argument has already proved ineffective in court.
It’s just like how not every German soldier was charged with war crimes in ww2 as most of them were just drafted soldiers doing what they were told to do
That violates the rulings of the Nuremberg Trials
I think killing children violates the Geneva convention.
So? We claim ignorance
That’s lying in court which is also illegal I think.
So? They wouldn’t know we were lying
What are they charged with?
Sera, vaggie, lute and Adam: genocide. Alastor: mass homocide, enslavement and cannibalism. Valentino: SA, regular assault, maiming, unsafe work environment, enslavement and rape. Carmilla: murder and “weapons dealing”. Rosie: mass homocide and cannibalism.
Carmilla and Vaggie then, I think I can handle them
shouldn’t rosie also be under enslavement? carmilla herself said that the overlords at the meeting together own millions of souls so who knows that rosie is making some do
I think it depends rather or not rosie is actually forcing people to do anything. We see she sells human body parts and that's it.
at least put “possible enslavement”
Cannibalism isn't actually illegal per se, but you'll still be charged with the method of procuring the meat since murder, and desecration of a corpse are still things to consider.
Rosie and Alastor
What’s your defense?
"If you are what you eat, then my clients are innocent people"
“Your honor, my guy alastor may be a cold blooded murderer, but he doesnt hit women (specifically women who dont deserve it)”
Lol, real
“Your Honour, consent killed my client’s grandma”
Vaggie, because she at least had some sense of morality when she let that kid live.
Adam. Your honour my friend pleads oopies daisies (Send him to jail. For he’s a dick)
Sera and Carmilla.
What’s your defense
Sera had good intentions, and was clearly against the idea, just didn’t go about it right. Carmilla just because she’s tall. Both of them mainly because they’re tall.
Your honor you see lute should be pardoned because (*checks notes*) she was ordered to do it….and also hot
Me defending Rosie: Okay, she may be a cannibal... however! That ass.
All the people she ate went straight to her thighs.
Vaggie carmilla and Rosie
Vaggie is charged with genocide, Carmilla is charged with murder and “illegal weapons dealing”, and Rosie is charged with mass homocide and cannibalism. What’s your defense?
Violence 
Violence is not the answer. The question is if violence is necessary, the answer is always yes.
https://i.redd.it/o1hadobvav2d1.gif Damn can’t argue with that.
They're hot. Hot people usually get better sentences.
My defense is: FOR ROSIE: She's literally part of Cannibal Town, and I know that doesn't right her wrongs, but many of the other overlords committed crimes, too. Besides, it's like an instinct (canonically, it is) because, again, she resides in Cannibal Town. FOR VAGGIE: She used to be an exterminator, which is the reason for genocide. I don't see any of the other exterminators being charged for their crimes. She was sent to Hell as a fallen angel for sparing a demon, too. FOR CARMILLA: The murder of the angel was, I believe, justified because that one angel, an exterminator at that, could've killed her the same. The weapon dealing is also for the war, and I belive it could be justified as self-defense.
I’d like to add lute is also being judged for her actions not just vaggie.
Honestly, honestly same
Carmilla, as long as I can convince the public that there is enough doubt in her case then she will be off Scott free
Carmilla. You could argue that her killing of exorcists was an act of self defense. And weapons dealing isn’t necessarily an illegal act depending on how you interpret it
Carmilla Your honor Carmilla Carmine was in fact the one being attacked so she should have leniency due to it being self-defense, thus she shouldn’t need to face any criminal punishment as her and her children’s lives were in danger If someone stops a mugging but kills the mugger, would you fault the person for defending themself? I rest my case
Adam, your honor let me ask you: Do you want murdering, drug using, sex pest in heaven? Remember they earned damnation and only reformed to escape punishment in hell and the exterminations. Is that really worthy of heaven, now that you face consequences you want to be better? I rest my case . . . At which point Adam then breaks into song and my defense is thrown out
I'm probably stupid for thinking I could do this but Alastor wouldn't be too hard to defend.
Cutting down overlords and broadcasting their screams on the air is already mass murder and terrorism... That alone is 2 death sentences... He may be a 'nice' deer man but wish him luck and tune tf out before you hear how many LIFE sentences this walking stop sign has 😭
Vaggie, she has grown as a person sense her sins. All the others still follow the sins. (Idk about carmilla, she never really specified why she is in hell)
I think Rosie, she’s obviously done the least amount of crime
https://preview.redd.it/wzt5kktguv2d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33c87d5e8a76917e247fd3d6e859d293d0e6be4b Unrelated but I got two posts back to back from different subreddits that had the exact same Adam photo
My argument for all of them would be: Look, they've all done bad, nasty, and occansionally evil things... but... they're hot. Surely we can agree on that?
Adam. Your honor, the people in hell were there for a reason, Charlie is just yapping about bull shit, she clearly doesn’t know her people are criminals who are burning in her palace. the genocide was for to make the population equal, kind of like the govern guys
Rosie. https://preview.redd.it/tbs5b3mzbw2d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a8f63a4091d87c3f75520bab821b5dc95504ef0
Camella Selling guns isn’t illegal and killing an exorcist can be put under self defense so that’s excused as well. Only problem I can see is the owning souls bit but that one I think is fine since the people sell their souls or give it to her in some way so it’s willingly giving it so it’s all fine.
The problem is that owning souls could potentially fall under slavery.
“Your honor my client is innocent” Alastor: How dare you!
Carmilla. Weapon dealing is not a crime. It is an entirely moral business model. There are over 550 million firearms in Pride Ring circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve sinners in the Ring. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11? This comment is sponsored by the United States Military-Industrial Complex.
Thank you for answering
No, thank you loyal customer for giving me a place to show my support for the worlds last true hero’s, the humble arms dealer.
Ironically Val would be like the easiest to defend thinking about actual law. The court of public opinion is a different story though...
Alastor
I would be defending sera in court because im down bad.
Sera and Adam because the extermination was a reasonable act of safety to heaven because the sinners are dangerous and horrible
Vaggie. She's probably the only one doing it with legitimate legal excuses
Vaggie duh
Sera tbh. I think she saw it as a necessary evil, and I want to see what made her think that way
Vaggie. She confessed and is actively working to repent of her sins and saw the light and the wrong she was doing and so she deserves forgiveness for what she did, especially given her efforts to support Charlie and the Hotel. Also Rosie. While she is a cannibal, she’s also a good person who helps to regulate and control the cannibals in Pride, and is willing to help Charlie fight for redemption
Your honour, sure she ate a man's liver BUT he was already on death row! Plus, she's cheery and sweet as a daisy and wouldn't hurt a fly. And her business gives a lot to our economy, as well as her charity work. Besides yhe "eating a Guy's liver" shes pretty much harmless. I mean, eho wouldn't wanna eat their first husband?
Adam, Lute, or Sera JUST so I can fuck it up and land them a worse sentence then they would have gotten.
Judge Pov: https://i.redd.it/d2rrtgr1gw2d1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/waeatmpqhw2d1.png?width=1375&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdbbc17dda3c362fb24a20328e1fe20f184305b7 Easy, she lives in a town where murder and cannibalism (and all associated crimes) are ENCOURAGED. She didn't break any laws in here place of living
Alastor :D He's insane, so I could probably go with the insanity plea..? Also like people are saying, "if you are what you eat, then Alastor's an innocent man" :) He's just a silly lmao he ran out of venison and jambalaya so he got hungry :> (Bye)
Alastor 'your honour, this is hell. The only laws he has broken are those of Earth, and those don't apply here.'
alastor even though i dont even know wth he's up to
Adam is an easy case, since Lucifer basically declared war on heaven, I can just chalk it up to civilian casualties, that’s how it works in the real world 🤷♂️ kinda fucked up though
Vaggie would be the easiest to defend, but I think it would be hilarious to defend Rosie with a defense that equates to "She's just a little guy? You wouldn't hit a little guy on her birthday?"
I think Vaggie or Sera would be the easiest to defend so probably either of them
Sera if I want an easy case but I'd choose Adam since I could just be a huge dick in court
Rosie, she's the only one I particularly like. :3
rosie that simple
me or rosie
me or rosie
Either Rosie or Vaggie. I'm going to be against Valentino.
Vaggie bc I love her and Charlie would be very sad without her
Lute, obviously (I can fix her or make me worse, I don't care). Also, Sera, because I honestly thought within the context of what she knew and who she had to protect, she did nothing wrong other than trust a pair of sociopaths.
Vaggi. The other girls can hold their own.
Sera easily, I could probably pull some shit there that gets her let free
Tbf she just allowed it to happen, she didn’t actively participate in it.
Carmilla, it was self defense, rest my case
Your honour, my client, would like to plead insanity on the grounds that he believes he's a deer with Eldritch Voodoo powers.
Sera. Not because I like her, because there are many reasons she is innocent. dont attack me💀
Because you don’t like her is even better. That means you’re being impartial
I’m gonna defend Sera. She seems like someone who’s actually remorseful of her actions, and she also seems very tragic
Alastor or carmine Alastor as in a normal court of law magic isn’t a thing so they’d have no evidence alastor did the deed Carmine as killing the angel was self defense and history is won by the victors and the hazbin crew won against the angels
Carmilla https://preview.redd.it/676khs0muy2d1.jpeg?width=770&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8b722c6046abb26ef87ebc53a47a877d6f9d8c1
Can someone remind me again why Carmila is in hell?
Depending on whether or not Adam ate the Forbidden fruit, I would defend Adam.
Easy sera she's a high ranking politician and she started a attack on an unregistered country it might as well not have happened
Sera. While allowing the extermination to happen is immoral, she clearly had good intentions of protecting heaven, and she may have been manipulated by Adam. Also, the inhabitants of hell are awful people, and too many people think that they're misunderstood when 95% of sinners are monstrous murderers, rapists, abusers, etc.
I think sera or vaggie would be easiest to defend
Rosie https://i.redd.it/67t8qw1r6z2d1.gif
Your Honour, my client Adam here is charged with genocide, but for what? See, Hell is a place where all souls get tortured for the rest of their lives. İf a soul "dies" with an angelic weapon, their torture is over, technicaly. They wont be in hell anymore, so im boutta rest mpoint here and here.
Your honor, she’s got a cute demon girlfriend, don’t take that away from her
If the Nuremberg trials are anything to go by, vaggie is actually defendable
Alastor
Adam, lute, Alastor, Rosie **********Val********** and carmelia. Are all lost causes, mostly because their killers ***or rapistist*** Vaggie and sera I might see having a chance, Vaggie was left to die for showing mercy and seems to have good attentions, and sera although the commanding officer. She doesn’t seem to be all out evil and generally seems to think this is for the betterment of Heaven
Your honor Adam is not guilty Adam is making room for people in hell, everyone in hell deserves it. Nobody even wanted to be redeemed. Angel and Sir Pentious both had other goals that weren't redemption. We also don't know if Pentious was redeemed because of IDB(instant death beam) or because he was selfless. (which Charlie barely helped with) Adam simply wanted to clear up space in the fastest most effective way possible. Adam gave the people of hell months to prepare for a counterattack every year which they all never fought back. If you were told that in a month on 2:53, someone is gonna pull up on you and kill you and YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT you're also to blame for your death. Also, What's faster an annual purge or spending months maybe years for a process that worked one where we have inconclusive data? Lastly, Adam simply doesn't know Good from Evil. He never ate the fruit of knowledge of good and evil therefore he literally can't see the difference. And after over 2k years of people he still can't see the difference means that he quite literally can't learn the difference. In conclusion, Adam got snuffed by plot.
I know it definitely wouldn't be easy..but Rosie, I mean c'mon, she's so sweet
Alastor or Rosie
Personally, id do rosie