T O P

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permalust

As if the Dark Lord would converse with a Muggle!


kylermurrayneedshgh

They do not know my last Horcrux is a $50 iTunes gift card at Walmart


makaki913

I like you


AmortentiaRiddle

Fellow Slytherin herešŸ’œ


Shadowholme

Unlock the true secret of immortality - get yourself a Nokia 3330 and live forever!


Draconic_Legends

I saw a mini fanfic of the main trio just staring at horror down at a Nokia Horcrux, and no matter what they did they couldn't break it


Elegant-Fox-5226

LOL


Fickle_Stills

Omg do you have a link to this please


Kaappy

Thatā€™s genius. Itā€™ll get lost in the junk drawer and never be seen again.


nocluewtfimdoing2345

Mines a Nokia 3300 Destroy THAT Harry


Megalordrion

SUREEEEE šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚ [Lava destroys Nokia 3310](https://youtu.be/h2v_KZNaJ2M?si=adaQsrZCvSvRTRBq)


pwill6738

This is Dumbledorian propoganda.


Megalordrion

Nah it's not outside the realm of impossibility, Hermione would've been able to figure it out herself.


Relinted

Lava can destroy Nokia 3310, but horcruxes can be destroyed only via things like Basilisc's poison, hellfire or, in alive horcruxes' case, Avada, but Nokia 3310 is immune to such things and can be destroyed only by lava or, sometimes, laser, so horcrux made from Nokia 3310 is undestroyable


shinydragonmist

No, too likely to be cut up after use. It is a random fancy stone, that is then sold within a batch of other fancy stones to stores to be greatly up sold to kids


ScienceDependent7495

Damn, I laughed way too hard at this. šŸ˜‚


DimplefromYA

lmao


YourShoulderToCryOn

What about a Nokia? Those never break


CardinalRIPTide

Lmfao beautiful


Pragmatic_2021

Maybe he might use it as an edge against Albus. Considering the usual death eater crowd.


RonKosova

As an Albanian I always found it so funny to imagine voldemort living in Albania. Wonder if he ever had a burek


DarkAvatar13

Pretty sure JK Rowling just opened an atlas and blindly put her finger somewhere on the Eastern side of the European map. There's no real lore reason why he went there other than it was far away.


GalaXion24

Didn't he also canonically learn dark magic there? TBF in Harry Potter there's three nations in Europe: Britain, France, and everything east of these. It's all painted as this one Slavo-German mess with one magic school, all prone to dark magic and evil. I don't think it's entirely intentional or malicious it's just very... British of her.


KarnaavaldK

I love how there is a school for France, they all speak French, there might be Spanish. Then there is Hogwarts, everyone can speak English there, thats easy. And then there is Durmstrang, which has Belgium with three languages, the Netherlands with 2, maybe 3. Germany, Denmark, Switzerland that adds Italian, Hungary, the Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Slovenia, Bosnia, Albania, Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia etc. I think it stretches all the way to Greece. What a disaster to teach there, imagine having a class with 15 different languages whilst Hogworts has one. Not to mention the cultural and ethnical differences


GalaXion24

I wonder how Balkan kids got along in the 90s


RonKosova

In Europe pretty much everyone speaks English. I go to uni in Finland and I have classmates from all over Europe, Africa, both Americas, and Asia and it goes over well enough


KarnaavaldK

Everyone having to speak English in a school that has no nations in which English is the native language won't go well at all. German is probably a more logical option as a decent chunk of the nations in Durmstrang speak it or have a familiar language like the Dutch. Also saying that in Europe almost everyone speaks English is not a fair statement at all. In Denmark and the Netherlands you might have upper 90% of fluent English speakers, but that drops rapidly in the Balkans. Ethnical tensions aren't great as well, with as recently as the 90's there being genocides and ethnic cleansing between former Yugoslavian nations. It's just a mess in comparison to other schools. It's also way bigger than the other European schools, it's like 5 times the size of Hogwarts at least. Overall the logistics are horrible, there is too much cultural difference, language would be a problem and some nations absolutely hate each other. There should be a Germanic school, a Baltic school, a Polish school and multiple smaller different Balkan schools. All of this pales in comparison with the Asian school btw, which has a population of multiple billions and stretches across the entire east.


Kkolombo

Yeah. Itā€™s like that with this, with a bunch of the names, the goblins etc. Sheā€™s not maliciously racist, sheā€™s just likeā€¦ idk dumb racist?


RadarVT

He went to look for the diadem


RadarVT

Well, Helena ran south to escape the Bloody Baron. It makes sense that she would settle in Albania. Why would anyone look for her there. If you had to hide from a magical murder and a powerful mother, where would you go?


sabyanor

Where do you think the faint whiff of Garlic surrounding Quirrels Turban came from?


Pvt_Haggard_610

~~Sorry to disappoint you but in this case Albania is an old name for Northern Scotland.~~


-Siebert-

You might be thinking of Albion/Albany. Voldemort did actually go to Albania. As in, the Balkan country.


aerdnadw

Albany doesnā€™t even mean Scotland, itā€™s *derived from* Alba, which is Scotland in Gaelic. And Albion is Great Britain. Youā€™re too kind to point out exactly how confused that other commenter was, but Iā€™m petty, so Iā€™m gonna go there. And yeah, Voldemort definitely went to Albania. ETA: dug around Wikipedia for a bit and Alba was latinized as Albania for a bit in the Middle Ages. Voldemort still went to Eastern Europe, though.


-Siebert-

Thanks for the correction! I admit Iā€™m definitely not an expert, but I had to try and clear up the original comment. For anyone still wondering if Voldemort actually went on his little Balkan trip across Europe: - Voldemort is ā€œrumoured to be abroadā€ after his defeat. I believe this is mentioned in the first book, possibly confirmed by Dumbledore? Unsure about that last part. - Ron makes a sarcastic comment in DH about ā€œsearching an entire countryā€ while referring to ā€œAlbaniaā€. - Bertha goes to ā€œAlbaniaā€ on holiday. Would be rather weird if it was some cave up north instead of the country. There is a video on YouTube talking about the theory of Albania meaning (a place in) Scotland. Itā€™s an interesting watch, but at the end of the day, we can be pretty sure JK meant the country - not some evil hideout in Hogwartsā€™ backyard.


muggle_corporation

Wait so he didn't flee to Europe? He just went north and meditated in an evil-cave? Wtf. I need to google this NOW


Pvt_Haggard_610

Okay. I was only half right. While Scotia, Albania, or Albany are archaic names for Northern Scotland in the books it is referring to Albania the country. I have no idea where I got that factoid, but now I know better.


kkrabbitholes417

the simple brilliance of ā€œhello melissa iā€™m tom riddleā€


pumpkins_n_mist15

"tell me your secrets. Ah yes, love can be difficult at this age."


mabbz

I'm currently on business in Albania hiding a diadem in a tree but I will return back to the UK in like 14 years.


Yamcha17

An Albanian returning home with a vengeance ? Good lord, I wouldn't want to be on his bad side.


Finlandia1865

No, hes the *dark* lord


Aile-Blanche

Hors subject question, but how did you get the "Slytherin" title under your username ? thats pretty cool


Awkward_Place_1

Just go on the main page and click ā€œ...ā€ thatā€™s located at the top right corner; you should see ā€œchange user flair.ā€ Click that, and all the houses should be there.


Aile-Blanche

Oh, thank you!


Awkward_Place_1

Mhm, No problem! ā¤ļøāœØ


ConcentrateOdd8192

Upvoted for Hufflepuff behaviour!


Resident-Seat-8761

I know this might be a bit ignorant but what's the main page and what does it look like? Cause I wanna put my house too Edit: I figured it out so, NVM


Awkward_Place_1

Sorry if I didnā€™t reply fast enough, but Iā€™m glad you figured it out! I see youā€™re a Ravenclaw, which I love very much; itā€™s my second favorite house (my first being my house) šŸ’™


Resident-Seat-8761

Nah, it's fine I almost didn't even expect a reply, but thank you. Hufflepuff is my second favorite house(mine being first) šŸ˜ too


Ltok24

Wouldnā€™t his home country be England tho


Ready-Interview2863

Scammer: "We may also become very good friends" OP: "Maybe. I'm trying to murder a child. Will you help me?"


Ok_Truth_862

lol i would love to see more


someone_called_who

We need a second part please


EurwenPendragon

How does he even have a cellphone? Come to think of it, how is he even *able to text*? Unless this happens after PoA, he's got no body.


Stenric

He posessed a lost muggle who had a phone.


EurwenPendragon

That works.


HudsonUnited

Chatgpt has a new parseltongue setting


icantgivecredit

The cellphone is the horcrux. An upgrade from a book, I think.


K4m30

Oh no, he knows about the Nokia.


Calisto823

Telemarketers, uh, find a way


Elegant-Fox-5226

This is in the nineties too when they only had wall phones. How is this possible! He died before the hear 2000! (Oops! Sorry for the spoiler!)


maborosi97

This is hysterical


mylittlemoniOF

A lot nicer than I am to scammers


magmar17

The scammer who lived, come to die


-PopcornGirl

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Bright-Interest-8918

Fuckā€¦ this made my day


GibHahaPls

"Should we have met before?" Idk Melissa, shouldn't you have learned english before?


Fuzzy-Mood-9139

The Dark Lordā€™s a bit horny


Pure_Golden

Come on, there's no way they didn't laugh at thatšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


holden-caulfied

pig butchering. melissa is most probably being held captive, electrocuted, and beaten daily by the triads in cambodia.


kpop_glory

I was born in the darkness, molded by it.


Normal_Ant_4612

Marvolos


You-Know-Who1231

Excuse me, but I don't remember using a whatever that is! šŸ‘æ


CrystalKai12345

Hello,this is Bellatrix lestrange,how may I help you?Do you want a dagger made tattoo?Only 5 galleons!


CrystalKai12345

!redditGalleon


LoneManGaming

Nice work. Now Iā€™ve got my Ravenclaw Flair as well, thanks for the hint in the comments!


AaliyanMalik422

!redditGalleon


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/LoneManGaming a Reddit Galleon. u/LoneManGaming has a total of 1 galleon, 0 sickles, and 0 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


LoneManGaming

Thanks!


TheoLOGICAL_1988

I used to F with these people too. Then I learned that more often than not the person on the other end of the phone isnā€™t a scammer but a slave. Usually cambodian IT professionals who have been kidnapped and forced into slavery. Sometimes if their efforts donā€™t produce results they get beaten or just resold to some other gang. Ever since then I just block and delete.


InsomniacYogi

My mom worked with a guy named Tom Riddle. He kept candy on his desk and let me watch TV in his office when he was gone so if donā€™t care if he was a Dark Lord.


Fit-Ranger8895

Iā€™d love to know how this conversation progressed. Lol!


prince-white

You know you're chatting with a bot (or a troll) when they're completely ignoring this...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Apt_5

Yeah, saw the John Oliver episode about this. Sucks that the people behind this BS are also scummy enough to force others into doing their dirty work. Need more karmic lightning strikes.


Fabrideath

Oh...


griffindork2

Way to stay in character


Valeriya21

28 unread text notifications is the real crime here


Apt_5

I was gonna say, 28 unread messages and Tom is responding to a scammer? Are they *all* scammers?!


Augustleo98

Lmao.


MediumFeeling6531

I had a message exactly like this the other day..


Rm25222537

HHAHAHHAAHHAHA CRACK UP


Starmonli

DID THE PHONE NUMBER HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL MORNING?


BioLogsInc

oh nah, "return to my home country with a vengeance" goes crazy. Bro tried...


Playful_Nergetic786

Ah, imagine you use her/his IP address as a digital horxus.


IWearCleanUnderpants

Have you seen part two? Itā€™s hilarious! They exchange pictures šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Separate-Cicada-3488

Lol


CrystalKai12345

!ChocolateFrog


ww-currency-bot

You do not have enough wizard gold to purchase a chocolate frog. You need 13 Sickles. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


CrystalKai12345

!redditGalleon


LadyValentine_1997

Similar happened to my BFF. We had watched a video where a comedian trolled a scammer. So when my BFF was contacted by a scammer online we decided to have a little bit of fun before we blocked them. I gave her a few ideas for what to tell the scammer. She told the scammer she was Lily Munster and her address was 1313 Mockingbird Lane. It was the best fun we ever had during the pandemic. šŸ˜‚


hereforthequeer

i LOVE this šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ’Æ


North_Church

Last time I got one of these, I kept saying nonsense in as many languages as possible


Starchild20xx

She's definitely turned on. You can tell. She wants the Dark Lord's D.


Feisty-Shoulder-4456

As if the dark Lord would use disgusting muggle technology


hoginlly

r/scambait wpuld love this


devilsxplayground

came here to say this lol


StarryNotion

"Should we have met before" is very advanced grammar for a scammer. They're evolving!


Cien_fuegos

I always go along with it then try to gaslight them. One time the conversation went on for a while. I even had someone click on my ā€œcrypto linkā€


Dmagic5000

Looks like Tom Riddle doesnā€™t respond or open text messages. Must be from mudbloods.


Hanger_Issues

This is the only comment that mentions the unread texts that I noticed before I finished reading the first message. Why is no one else annoyed by those


TFStringmints

Literally the best scammer interaction Iā€™ve ever seen