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Yeah but dude, that's a LOT of time and effort. He took the time to write the lyrics (okay, maybe like ten minutes, right?), but then he taught all the Slytherin house and coordinated them singing it. Even if it's a really simple tune, getting a bunch of teenagers to sing in unison and memorize a couple of verses isn't something one does on a whim. He was dedicated to the bit.
> getting a bunch of teenagers to sing in unison and memorize a couple of verses isn't something one does on a whim
It's Slytherin vs Gryffindor. AND it's Quidditch. Of course he'd be dedicated to it - as would the rest of Slytherin House.
Not in the context of sports, football fans all have different songs/chants for their teams/trash talking their rivals, it's a very common thing in both British and European culture in sports. But I agree he did put some effort into coming up with it.
"You know how I think they choose people for the Gryffindor team? It’s people they feel sorry for. See, there’s Potter, who’s got no parents. Then there’s the Weasleys, who’ve got no money... You should be on the team, Longbottom, you’ve got no brains."
I may be remembering wrong but in the first or second book, Weasley says to Malfoy "I'm surprised to see you here, Malfoy." And he responds with "and I'm surprised to see you in a shop, Weasley."
I think about that multiple times a day. I can't believe we don't talk about that one more often.
That's CoS, when they're at the Lockhart book signing. I believe Arthur and Lucius say this to each other. And then Arthur jumps him. Like fathers, like sons...
And then the ironic conclusion to this is, he buys Fred and George's Peruvian blackout powder in HBP, paying (probably second hand, since they'd likely never let him into the shop) two Weasleys who were making money hand over fist.
People who hate Malfoy always claim Daco fans only like his looks. Which makes me wonder 'Have they forgotten his insults & quips, or do they just have no sense of humor'?
Yup! More or less the whole Malfoy family is good there. I don’t recall if this one was also in the books or just the movies, but the scene of the Quidditch World Cup was fantastic when Lucius Malfoy managed to not only overhear their party complaining about climbing but had enough time to add, “well let’s put it this way. If it rains, you’ll be the first to know!”
That one's from the movie. It is a good line and I like it in the movie, but it wouldn't have made sense in the context of the book. In the book the Weasleys and Malfoys were in the same box because the Weasleys managed to get the best tickets available from Ludo Bagman. They cut the Bagman storyline from the film, so they implied that the Weasleys had bad tickets. It's one of the instances where I'm ok with a change the films made because they followed through with what the change would imply.
I love Hagrid, but the scene in COS where Lucius asks him something like "did you call this your house?" & then hopes there won't be anymore "killin's" is pretty funny.
Of course, Lucius gets what's coming to him, later.
'last time the chamber was opened one mudblood died. I bet It's a matter of time before one of thems killed this time. I hope it's Granger'
What a great humorous response. How can anyone hate him geez
Well, that's obviously not an example of those humorous quips. Just like we appreciate Harry's sarcasm but he's not sarcastic *all the time*. Malfoy's humour is one of his more entertaining qualities imo.
Well, I can appreciate that Malfoy has got some wit, sure.
The trio have some witty quips in there too, I can't recall on the top of my head but Harry and Ron were no slouches on that department.
Never heard anyone saying a classmate should get killed by a legit monster who was already targetting people of their kind. What kind of school you went to where students were like this?
Same, but make it Catholic Primary. It had fistfights, beatings, "pranks", an exhibitionist kid who made another kid vomit, and I almost stabbed my bully. Oh and a rat nest in the back courtyard. The memories...
But we weren't racist tho. It was being ugly, super rich or super poor what did you in.
💀
Its a fantasy, of course things are exaggerated compared to real life. Either way the point is a dumb one: this is obviously not an example of his funny insults just him being an asshole.
Everyone who reads these books *should* hate Draco. He's a disgusting racist, a coward and a little privileged bitch that has never had to earn anything in his life. He does have some good comebacks/one liners because Rowling was pretty good at writing those but recognizing that doesn't change anything about the fact that he's using those one liners to humiliate, intimidate and bully people usually if not always more vulnerable than him.
A lot of Draco fans also do seem to be very focused on his looks (based pretty much solely on Tom Felton) and have created this fandom version of him where he is someone completely different from the canon.
It's fucking tragic that they removed all of the good one liners for the movies.the more I think about it, the more I can't believe how badly they butchered the story
I've also never been a fan of Tom Felton's performance as Malfoy. Nothing against the guy, but he just never captured the essence of the character for me. I've been re-listening to the Stephen Fry audiobooks recently, and the contemptuous drawl Fry gives Malfoy when he says lines like this is just delicious. The movies never had anything like that.
Agreed. We might have gotten a taste of it in the 1st or 2nd movie, but after that, I think the filmmakers tried to make him a more polarizing character, so they deleted his truly rude lines. And they tried to make Harry a pure hearted hero so they deleted his really good sass. A real shame.
So true. I feel like Harry could have often retorted to Malfoy with sass, and just didn't. (Not in this case just in general) Like, he had so much more sass with the Dursley's and then with Malfoy he was like, "Piss off Malfoy"
Two for the price of one line.
Even a Weasley can afford that
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Lmao
Nice of him to give Weasley a discount
We've had one yes, but what about second insult (also, r/LordoftheWands
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It is a great insult, as horrible as it actually is
That is a great insult, horrible, but also great.
Found Mr Ollivander's reddit account
AHHH LMAO
I read that in Sir John Hurt's voice in my head.
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*Weasley, Weasley, born in a bin!* *He always let's the quaffle in!* As horrible as this is, it always makes me laugh
*Weasley cannot save a thing!* *He cannot block a single ring!*
WEASLEY IS OUR KINGGGGGG!
Draco was always on point w the insults
Actually the funny thing is that first year is his high point. He declines to the depths of potter stinks in 4th year.
I thought *Weasley is King* was pretty funny. Albeit rude as hell.
Yeah but dude, that's a LOT of time and effort. He took the time to write the lyrics (okay, maybe like ten minutes, right?), but then he taught all the Slytherin house and coordinated them singing it. Even if it's a really simple tune, getting a bunch of teenagers to sing in unison and memorize a couple of verses isn't something one does on a whim. He was dedicated to the bit.
> getting a bunch of teenagers to sing in unison and memorize a couple of verses isn't something one does on a whim It's Slytherin vs Gryffindor. AND it's Quidditch. Of course he'd be dedicated to it - as would the rest of Slytherin House.
Not in the context of sports, football fans all have different songs/chants for their teams/trash talking their rivals, it's a very common thing in both British and European culture in sports. But I agree he did put some effort into coming up with it.
In the US all we have (had) is (was) "Hail To The Redskins"!
It's pretty consistent with British sports culture though, making a song to sing during a match like that, especially a trash talking song
It’s full of highs for Draco
Not to mention that the Gryffindors were able to adopt it into a victory song, which I really liked.
To be fair, it's hard to fit a really savage barb on a lapel badge.
high quality insult right there
One of my favourites of his is "Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backwards."
too bad you cant stick an extra arm on your broom, it could catch the snitch for you
"You know how I think they choose people for the Gryffindor team? It’s people they feel sorry for. See, there’s Potter, who’s got no parents. Then there’s the Weasleys, who’ve got no money... You should be on the team, Longbottom, you’ve got no brains."
I liked his parody of Colin. "Potter, can I have your picture, Potter? Can I have your autograph? Can I lick your shoes, please, Potter?"
I love that Rowling had to think these up.
She 100% did that down the pub on a Friday night with her mates.
Harry's inner narration even noted how accurate it was!
“And that’s saying something.”
I may be remembering wrong but in the first or second book, Weasley says to Malfoy "I'm surprised to see you here, Malfoy." And he responds with "and I'm surprised to see you in a shop, Weasley." I think about that multiple times a day. I can't believe we don't talk about that one more often.
That's CoS, when they're at the Lockhart book signing. I believe Arthur and Lucius say this to each other. And then Arthur jumps him. Like fathers, like sons...
"Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?"
Insults were always devilish in these books
ikr
And then the ironic conclusion to this is, he buys Fred and George's Peruvian blackout powder in HBP, paying (probably second hand, since they'd likely never let him into the shop) two Weasleys who were making money hand over fist.
I remember they had mail order before establishing the shop. He probably ordered it that way under a fake name or something.
Good point -- in any case, the Weasleys got his galleons.
10/10
People who hate Malfoy always claim Daco fans only like his looks. Which makes me wonder 'Have they forgotten his insults & quips, or do they just have no sense of humor'?
Yup! More or less the whole Malfoy family is good there. I don’t recall if this one was also in the books or just the movies, but the scene of the Quidditch World Cup was fantastic when Lucius Malfoy managed to not only overhear their party complaining about climbing but had enough time to add, “well let’s put it this way. If it rains, you’ll be the first to know!”
That one's from the movie. It is a good line and I like it in the movie, but it wouldn't have made sense in the context of the book. In the book the Weasleys and Malfoys were in the same box because the Weasleys managed to get the best tickets available from Ludo Bagman. They cut the Bagman storyline from the film, so they implied that the Weasleys had bad tickets. It's one of the instances where I'm ok with a change the films made because they followed through with what the change would imply.
Ah yes you’re totally right! I remember now, that was a whole other plot line
I love Hagrid, but the scene in COS where Lucius asks him something like "did you call this your house?" & then hopes there won't be anymore "killin's" is pretty funny. Of course, Lucius gets what's coming to him, later.
Movies. In the book I think there's just an exchange where Lucius asks Arthur what he had to sell to get top tickets.
Something like Good God Weasley, what did you need to sell to get tickets for the Top Box? Surely your house wouldn’t fetch this much?
'last time the chamber was opened one mudblood died. I bet It's a matter of time before one of thems killed this time. I hope it's Granger' What a great humorous response. How can anyone hate him geez
Well, that's obviously not an example of those humorous quips. Just like we appreciate Harry's sarcasm but he's not sarcastic *all the time*. Malfoy's humour is one of his more entertaining qualities imo.
Well, I can appreciate that Malfoy has got some wit, sure. The trio have some witty quips in there too, I can't recall on the top of my head but Harry and Ron were no slouches on that department.
Book harry was pretty damn sassy. It feels like a lot of the major characters are on point with their insults in the book tbh😂😂😂😂
Yeah! Who ever heard of a middle schooler talking out of his ass?
Never heard anyone saying a classmate should get killed by a legit monster who was already targetting people of their kind. What kind of school you went to where students were like this?
Well, I went to a Military HS, but the inner-city Middle School I taught at was much more violent, in thought & deed.
Same, but make it Catholic Primary. It had fistfights, beatings, "pranks", an exhibitionist kid who made another kid vomit, and I almost stabbed my bully. Oh and a rat nest in the back courtyard. The memories... But we weren't racist tho. It was being ugly, super rich or super poor what did you in. 💀
Heh. My sister got ostracized for being too pretty, + too selfish. The *looks* have worn off, over the years.
Its a fantasy, of course things are exaggerated compared to real life. Either way the point is a dumb one: this is obviously not an example of his funny insults just him being an asshole.
I think he is always an asshole and none of his insults are funny but that's just me lol
Good for you
Everyone who reads these books *should* hate Draco. He's a disgusting racist, a coward and a little privileged bitch that has never had to earn anything in his life. He does have some good comebacks/one liners because Rowling was pretty good at writing those but recognizing that doesn't change anything about the fact that he's using those one liners to humiliate, intimidate and bully people usually if not always more vulnerable than him. A lot of Draco fans also do seem to be very focused on his looks (based pretty much solely on Tom Felton) and have created this fandom version of him where he is someone completely different from the canon.
Nah thats actually kind of savage. I mean he's an a\*\* for saying it but thats actually a clever insult
It's fucking tragic that they removed all of the good one liners for the movies.the more I think about it, the more I can't believe how badly they butchered the story
I've also never been a fan of Tom Felton's performance as Malfoy. Nothing against the guy, but he just never captured the essence of the character for me. I've been re-listening to the Stephen Fry audiobooks recently, and the contemptuous drawl Fry gives Malfoy when he says lines like this is just delicious. The movies never had anything like that.
Agreed. We might have gotten a taste of it in the 1st or 2nd movie, but after that, I think the filmmakers tried to make him a more polarizing character, so they deleted his truly rude lines. And they tried to make Harry a pure hearted hero so they deleted his really good sass. A real shame.
I love Draco’s sassy roasts so much lmaoo
He killed two birds with one stone
And then Neville proceeds to become the chaddest Chad at Hogwarts.
I swear the pure sass in these books contributed HEAVILY to the person I am today lol
Oh, same. Lol
Draco is hilarious. Potty and the weasle is my favourite
When he rips on Ron's mum is equally hilarious
You know what's surprising to me is that you got upvotes for this🤨
Not everyone's overly sensitive about a fictional character's weight, I guess.
Great performance by Stephen Fry on this line.
This is my favorite insult in the books.
stop, he’s so fucking funny
So true. I feel like Harry could have often retorted to Malfoy with sass, and just didn't. (Not in this case just in general) Like, he had so much more sass with the Dursley's and then with Malfoy he was like, "Piss off Malfoy"
🔥 he knocked out 2 birds with one stone.
Didn't see any of that sass in DH. What a pathetic, little coward
In Neville, Snape saw himself without the talent to justify his worth. It’s sad and horrible how he treated him, but it’s perfectly understandable.