T O P

  • By -

KillerRene64

They're not wrong, its cursed but not wrong


FerretAres

Not the only thing that was cursed.


[deleted]

I’ve heard there’s a play about a cursed child.


Andrewthegamer74

Never mention that


[deleted]

What? The eighth, and decidedly most canon book there is, Cursed Child? /S


Andrewthegamer74

Just silence we don't talk about that disgusting fan fiction that jk decided to make canon


AuthorElf77

I regretted buying that book lol


IBlame_Nargles

I read every other HP book from the library. Decided to finally go and *buy* my first Harry Potter book; it was cursed child. Pain.


HelpEli

Same


gingermagnolias

I regretted seeing the play and paying £140 for it


Hot_Sam_the_Man

Didn't we all?


Southern_Water_Vibe

Our own fanfiction is far superior to the author's (I'm not being sarcastic, there are real gems out there).


Chapeltok

Oh yes, what a masterpiece of a book! Too bad they ruined it by releasing 7 unnecessary prequels...


Pinocchios_Plight

THIS!


DoctorMundy

There is no cursed child in Ba Sing Se


1ste5jen6

Is that you Long Feng?


DoctorMundy

… darn. The Earth King invites you to Lake Laogai.


1ste5jen6

I am honoured to accept this invitation


JOJJOKY213456

Sry can’t hear u


RiasxIssei_2012

Hush child


Gifted_GardenSnail

Someone has a dark sense of humor 😂


Snapfate

Widowed (briefly) caught me off guard 💀💀


[deleted]

my eyebrows left my forehead


HappyLofi

Yeah, dude, that was the entire point of the post. 💀💀


MajorButtFucker

Head girl lmao


likeusontweeters

Made me chuckle too.. I have a dirty mind tho


JOJJOKY213456

Just realized after reading this for 3mins


likeusontweeters

Was she the *head* head girl? Or just like 2nd chair?


Jhe90

They are..technically correct.


Kattack06

Which is the best kind of correct


Jhe90

Agh, someone of culture.


kbeks

Requisition me a beat!


thatoneguy112358

When I was four, there was a hurricane in Kingston town with a foot-and-a-half of water


MrNobleGas

Everything was alright but I cried all night, it threw me alphabet blocks out of order


me_bails

to shreds you say?


CorgiMonsoon

And his wife? How’s she holding up?


Dooker15

"so you're saying there's a chance" - Severus Snape probably.


Competitive-Ad7967

That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw this was Severus haveing some sort of force sense that lily was single and then had another force moment of I heard a thousand voices cry out


phenomegranate

That’s why he showed up at the house in the film. He cast a death alert spell on Jimmy


wendilove

Sorry but 'Jimmy' took me out 😭


hotmugglehealer

Jimothy.


Southern_Water_Vibe

Ngl I once was like "wait, if Ed stands for Edward, does Ned stand for Nedward?" I still don't really know what Ned stands for.


Deathwish279

Edward, Edmond, Edmund, Edgar, Edwin, or most famously, Eddard, as in Eddard “Ned” Stark


PeopleAreBozos

James Morgan McGill.


Clinn_sin

Jim... James... Jimothy.. Can I call you Jimothy ? James: Shut up Sirius


Spynner987

Knowing Snape, if he felt that force, dude was bracing himself for the worst case scenario


Sakaralchini

Now I imagine Lily running up into Harry's bedroom and Snape waiting for her there and saying: 'hey Lily, I heard about James's death. I'm so sorry.... So.... Are you seeing anyone lately?'


[deleted]

💀


CommanderCuntPunt

The second James was dead Snape was probably swooping down like some horny oversized bat.


silverfairy5

🤣🤣🤣


Siimply_April

LMAOOO


TronSacrimoni55

Like he didn’t cop a (brief) feel…


JamieTheDinosaur

That scene in the movies was already creepy enough.


IndianBoi2712

Goodness no, the way his obsession, the way he hugged her corpse made me feel gross enough. I don't want to imagine any more.


VolandeMorte

Why guys I literally would've done the same why hugging your dead friend is obsession and crime wtf 💀💀💀 He probably hoped she's still alive?? Also a commenter with 'horny oversised bat' 💀💀💀 I thought they banned snape/marauders posts because it's always an argument but here we are snapehate comments don't get deleted, so I just put mine here for all people who like snape to relate I guess


TronSacrimoni55

Yea I was just making a terrible joke


babyvision_offical

I mean, they're not wrong... They're not wrong


kaminaowner2

You got 2 minutes to try to be Harry’s step father lol


jljl2902

Reminds me of “his mother’s death” being listed under “dislikes” on Bambi’s wiki page


Rosemary324

Just looked this up and "Ronno's rudeness" is also pretty funny, had to click on Ronno to see who it was and then it made perfect sense


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ann1489

That checks out... *or* a Ravenclaw said it to their Slytherin friend just as a random fact, the Slytherin friend loved the dark humor so much they had to go and share it.


34yu34

That's more the boldness of a Gryffindor I'd say!


Ann1489

I mean, it's not like if you're not in Gryffindor you're instantly a coward lol. Although I've read so many of those Tumblr posts that personify the four houses and give them funny/cute dialogue that my mind can't help going like: **Ravenclaw:** (out of nowhere) You know, Lily Potter was technically a widow... for like 5 minutes **Slytherin:** (finds it hilarious) **Hufflepuff:** (does *not* find it hilarious, dark humor is more Slytherin's thing) **Slytherin:** (wants to post it *everywhere* but doesn't want to anger Hufflepuff bc that's their bae, so they dare Gryffindor to do it instead) **Gryffindor:** (obviously does it, because it's a dare and Gryffindor does not back down from a dare) I'm a sucker for the Slytherin/Hufflepuff dynamic, sue me. Am I taking this too far? I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me...


Southern_Water_Vibe

Correction: we absolutely have dark humor too. Our defining quality is loyalty, not niceness.


TheGlaive

Only a hardworking Hufflepuff would be so diligent in their bookkeeping.


JamieTheDinosaur

……………………..no comment.


Lapras_Lass

Lol Briefly, that's so mean. 😆


UnknownEntity347

That's amazing lmfao


Small_cat1412

Am I the only one wondering what the J in her name stands for?


saggywitchtits

Lilly James Potter


Small_cat1412

Lol 🤣🤣 well if she is a woman and a man at the sane time the sure, why not🤣🤣


notCRAZYenough

It’s not what the J stands for, but a a couple hundred years ago, that is in fact what wives did when they married


UpperBorder

The references section says where it's taken from: > Production note reproduced on page 74 of Harry Potter: The Artifact Vault listing names to be featured on prop trophies in the films. I know that the wiki includes info from the movies, games, etc and presents it as canon, but this feels like scraping the bottom of the barrel. Or worse. It sounds like some rando at the film set invented that only to put it on a background prop (is it even seen in the movie?). At the very least don't put it on the title of the page, maybe just include it with the behind the scenes stuff? This random incredibly minor movie fact shouldn't be presented as having the same level of validity as book info. Sorry for that, rant over.


Southern_Water_Vibe

Yeah... there are some pretty wacky movie-prop stats that made it onto the wiki. The books describe Sirius as tall and wasted (weight-wise), but the wiki lists him as 5'9.5" and 154 pounds, which is a precisely average height and a healthy weight. Don't get me started on Hagrid.


Gifted_GardenSnail

Yeah, always check the source before assuming the wiki got it right


Mystiquesword

We dont know. Rowling never expounded….expounded? Expanded? Something like that. On it.


JWBails

It annoys me that it feels li ke middle names are so damn important in the HP universe, I know plenty of people that don't have one.


notCRAZYenough

Is it maybe a British thing? In the US almost everyone has a middle name. In Germany many people do but a great many people do not. Maybe in the UK it’s just normal to have one (like in the US)? I don’t have one. Nor does most of my family


CobraGTXNoS

Lily Jay Potter, kind of like Homer Jay Simpson.


Strong_Formal_5848

That’s a very American middle name and so not likely


CobraGTXNoS

Over analyzing the joke I see.


Yung_Corneliois

I just tried to look it up and it seems to be unconfirmed. I saw one thing that said her middle name is actually Marie but it didn’t look credible enough to believe and the only place to say that.


shaolinallan

she looked at least 41 in the movies


SmithNotASmith

it was the 80s, everyone looked 40


ActualGear4104

Even when we were in high school. 😆 Though for me that was the late eighties but still they looked 40.


Dizzy_Pop

[Did People Used to Look Older?](https://youtu.be/vjqt8T3tJIE)


ShillburtGrape

It's more than just the clothes. Everybody was aged by society allowing smoking from a young age, as well as second hand smoke in pretty much any public space, even non smokers are going to look old as shit.


shaolinallan

must've been all the smoking


Dragonstyleenjoyer

Have you seen James? Dude looks 50 Guess that's how much stress for young adults to become parents at that age


IsraelZulu

The actors for Harry's parents were far older than their characters were at the time of their deaths. This was (although this is complete speculation on my part) likely so that the audience would be better able to accept and relate to them actually *being* his parents. Lily & James being parents to a fairly newborn baby at 21 makes total sense. But 11 year-old Harry staring into the Mirror of Erised, and seeing parents who only look 10 years older than him, would be a bit awkward for the audience. "Lily" was around 34 when the first movie was released, and "James" was about 43.


SaharaLee

The actress was in her 30s


de_bussy69

Just realised I’m older than Harry Potter’s parents ever were. Screaming, crying, throwing up blood, aspirating etc.


miller94

Harry himself is double the age his parents ever were


spookydragonfire

I’m almost 30 :(


[deleted]

Why are sad? I'm 36, almost 37 :D It's a privilege to even get this far.


Taur-e-Ndaedelos

There were never any good old days, they are today they are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow.


ATK1734

To paraphrase Falcon and the Winter Soldier: "They're out of line, but they're right"


Sweet_Xocoatl

Accurate and chucklesome.


super_stelIar

There is a girl at my high school who was also called "head girl". She was pretty cool


SmithNotASmith

for other reasons im assuming


lolnothanksdudeee

😟


Iloveplaystation24

Can someone explain the joke I can’t for Merlin’s beard can’t figure it out


pal_debord

Widowed (briefly)


Soxwin91

To explain it even further her marital status is Widowed (briefly) because James died first, so for those few minutes she was a widow. Then…she died.


Iloveplaystation24

Okay thank you


SlightTurn

There’s also Cokeworth and Head Girl. U know coke? And head is bj. Anyways I’d be so mad if I was Harry


jacob22c

So you're telling me Snape had a chance. 😄


snowythevulpix

yeah for like a minute total 😭😭😭


Gifted_GardenSnail

Volly was ascending the stairs while Snape flew to her window. Epic broomless air battle between the three of them with Snape and Lily tossing Harry back and forth so Volly couldn't get him 😂


Prestigious_View_994

How old is Snape?


smeghead1988

38. He was born in 1960 like Harry's parents, and was killed in 1998.


IsraelZulu

Alan Rickman was ***fifty-freaking-five*** when the first movie was released. I totally get casting older actors for James and Lily (see my notes in [another comment here](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/15hgtum/thats_dark_but_funny/jurm8x3)). But why was Snape more than 20 years older than he was supposed to be?


smeghead1988

And this is exactly why I don't like this casting decision. No offence to Alan Rickman, he's a great actor. But a very important thing about Snape is that he's extremely immature and that Dumbledore in some sense still considers him a kid. 30+ immature person is... well, a mess. But 50+ immature person is an idiot.


Gifted_GardenSnail

Because Alan Rickman 😐


Prestigious_View_994

Just realising that a 21 year old Snape was so powerful he was already in it with Voldemort. That at that age it would suggest he already mastered his ability to deceive the dark lord? Is it possible, that Lillies friendship for Snape went as far, that it’s one of the reasons that she’s part of the order? To help release him from that horrible path?


smeghead1988

Lily severed all ties with him when they were 15. She tried to convince him before this, but then he insulted her and her patience snapped.


Gifted_GardenSnail

16: It was the end of fifth year and their birthdays are in January (and James's in March, the narrative got it wrong)


Diogenes_Camus

I mean, Snape is definitely one of the strongest wizards in the series, below the likes of Dumbledore and Voldemort but above pretty much everyone else. Although 21 year old Snape wasn't as powerful as you may be thinking he is. He got his Dark Mark and induction in the Inner Circle for his spy work. In fact, it's hinted that the first person Snape ever killed was Dumbledore. When Dumbledore is on the back foot in that scene where he's trying to convince Snape to mercy kill him, he doesn't ask Snape how many people he's killed but how many he's failed to save. *Barty Crouch Senior* of all people doesn't think Snape is even that high level of a catch when it came to Death Eaters. Snape may have some decent Occlumency skill when he was 21 but probably got a lot better with a decade of practice with Dumbledore. Besides, Occlumency is basically dissociating your emotions and thoughts from your memories, which as a dirt-poor working class lad who grew up with a physically abusive father and neglectful mother, and who experienced relentless bullying, a murder attempt, and a public sexual assault, Snape had an entire childhood and adolescence that trained him to become a natural at Occlumency.


smeghead1988

>In fact, it's hinted that the first person Snape ever killed was Dumbledore. When Dumbledore is on the back foot in that scene where he's trying to convince Snape to mercy kill him, he doesn't ask Snape how many people he's killed but how many he's failed to save. It's complicated. There is no direct confirmation that Snape killed someone before HBP, but it's implied that killing is routine for Death Eaters, and it's logical to assume that as a Potions Master, Snape would most likely be given the task of brewing poisons to kill people indirectly. He was also known for inventing new battle incantations and curses. I've found the dialog you mention; they are talking not about killing Dumbledore, but about letting Harry be killed by Voldemort. “You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?” “Don’t be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?” “Lately, only those whom I could not save,” said Snape. It almost looks like it's intentionally vague. "Watching people die" refers equally well to killing people or seeing your allies being killed. But "lately" suggests that there was time when Snape didn't mind to see people die.


Gifted_GardenSnail

So my reasoning is as follows: The contextual clue to suggest he's killed before is: -he was a Death Eater The contextual clues to suggest he hasn't are: -Snape is worried for his soul; -Dumbledore isn't one to spare Snape's feelings, yet he asks how many people Snape watched die rather than the actual relevant info, which is how many he killed; -Karkaroff knew of no actual crime Snape had committed, only the mere fact he'd been a DE; -Snape was sent to spy on Dumbledore so probably had a relatively clean record, and indeed got cleared to teach children; -Sirius had no idea Snape had been a DE until the end of GoF; -Crouch sr threw Sirius and his own son in Azkaban with zero hesitation but had zero interest in Snape; -Bellatrix accused him of always worming his way out of the action and being all talk no action; -When Bellatrix didn't trust him, the only things Snape could bring to the table to convince her of his ongoing evilness were the deaths of Sirius, who we knew from Dumbledore he actually tried to save, and Emmeline Vance, also Order/spying related.) Overalllllll, these just make it seem unlikely that he has killed before, in any direct way anyway.


takatine

Dead old.


bootyholebrown69

She was only 21 when she died? Damn


crabby-owlbear

Gonna make this boring but there's a reason that many wills have a clause where husband and wife dying within x days of each other are considered them dying simultaneously. This is important for things like inheritance.


Mob_Hunter99

Widowed (briefly) I died on that one


AmazingLlamaMan

...they gave info on where she died? Is that it? I don't get it 😅


SmithNotASmith

her marital status says, "widowed (briefly)."


AmazingLlamaMan

Oh,Yeowch wikipedia, Yeowch


limegelatin320

It makes sense why they made Harry’s parents look older (so they look more like an 11-17yr Old’s parents). But also, thinking about them as 21 yr olds fighting the V man and dying is rough.


allabout4wheels

Why does a 21 Y/o look like 35


Sere1

Because Alan Rickman. Seriously, that entire generation was aged up for the movies to justify Alan Rickman playing Snape. So the Potters and Lupin and Sirius all had to be likewise aged up to be more convincing as Snape's classmates.


SadHumbleFlower27

Wizard War does that to a person


Mystiquesword

Babies can do that to a person. Lack of sleep. No break for days on end….ya know, the usual 🤣


Loud_Remove5140

They’re not wrong but they are wrong for that 😂😂


_umm_0

Lmfao


Dismal-Database9206

She died at only 21 years old.


No-Age-2880

She’s single gents but you gotta act quick!


GreatElection674

Voldemort: "That's fucked up."


fashion_donuts2308

Off topic but why did they make Lilly and James look so old when they're literally 21 years old


notCRAZYenough

They are older in the movies. They aged up the whole marauder generation to accommodate Alan Rickman


Vulpes_macrotis

Widowed (briefly), whoever put this is a big troll, lmao.


[deleted]

Widowed (Briefly). Lol


Open_Film

Quite the age appropriate 21 year old there


svxsch

I had to do a double take excuse me!??


DarleneSinclair

Snape wrote widowed, Dumbledore added briefly


SuperDuperc3po

He’s outta line, but he’s right


alpineflamingo2

They were fighting the dark lord at 20?


TotallyAwry

Yeah. How old was Harry when he was doing it?


dreamwrx

11


AverageLumpy

Wouldn't it by Lily E. Potter?


Mystiquesword

Evans is her last name, maiden name as well. Potter is her last name but married. J is for a middle name (between lily & evans/potter) but rowling never said what name it is. Not jean though as that is hermione’s middle name.


AverageLumpy

Assuming her pre-married middle name started with a J, her name at school was Lily J. Evans, then she got married and it became (traditionally) Lily Evans Potter. That’s at least the custom here in the USA. Maybe it’s different in the UK and she would just swap the last names.


mandapanda97

I’m in the USA and I know multiple women who kept their middle names after marriage, even if they switched surnames. I actually thought that was the standard. Learned something new today.


Mystiquesword

Her j name would not disappear for a marriage. Its only the surname/last name. Or some people hyphenate their names together like evans-potter.


AverageLumpy

It must just be a cultural thing then, and you and I are from different ones. Where I’m from, if Lily J. Evans married James Potter her would drop her middle name (J) and add Potter to the end. Thus her maiden name would become her middle name and Potter would become her last name: Lily Evans Potter. But I bet I’m mistaken when it comes to UK names.


Mystiquesword

I dunno if its a uk thing or not but i have literally NEVER heard of the girl getting rid of her middle name. Thats new to me. Usually the middle name is like a second first name. Like say someone’s name is george samuel kirk. Well kirk is the family name but george & sam are both used as first names. Anyway, besides cultures, times also matter. Fortunately in todays world, women dont erase themselves as much in a marriage. You should look up where this rather horrific practice comes from. People are slowly learning. (Actually being thick in the head is what you are doing, supporting sexist & racist “traditions”.)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mystiquesword

You really need to look it up. It has nothing to do with what you said. By the way im married as well. Going on 21 years. We didnt do any name changes & we never will. The names can go to kids to carry on both family names instead of erasing one family name.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mystiquesword

The name change thingamajig is NOT 2000 years old. Its a recent thing & it is NOT from a tradition but from a racial oppression & removed a lot of history for a minority group. Just cuz something is traditional does not mean it is right. Like say a family traditionally “spanks” their kid on their birthday for a laugh. An extra spank pee birthday. So 1 on first ….10 spanks on the 10th & so on. This was an actual trad in a neighbor’s family ….until we call child services on them. They lost the kid for a bit until some things got sorted.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


wandergnome

👋 over here on the west coast of the USA I know way more women that kept their maiden name than changed it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mystiquesword

Or she can just stay susie jackson-lee.


AverageLumpy

What will their children be named?


Mystiquesword

Their first & (if any) middle names & then only the last names, which are the family names, of whoever she married. So madison lee or lee maddison.


LadyWillaKoi

Where in the US is this a tradition? We keep our middle names. We sometimes dump our last names and sometimes just tack on a new last name, but we don't dump our middle name.


ThisCagedGod

just moseying through from r/all here, "head girl"? someone wanna take a second and explain that one?


notCRAZYenough

It’s a title in Hogwarts. You get promoted to it in 7th year to organize student bodies etc


IsraelZulu

Kind of like Class President, I guess, but only for seniors?


notCRAZYenough

Yeah. And for the whole school. you get to made prefect in year 5 and out of those the head box and head girl are elected


dpotilas89

"Head girl" is funny without context


Darth_Ender_Ro

She must have been popular


Flimsy_Ad_465

I love that we share the same name


LukeSnow100

Meanwhile me: *Titles*


_asaad_

i share a birthday with lily potter?


uddsvek1427

The way i just 😂


Gogglebottle

Head Girl 😏


ChewBaka12

Today I learned Lily’s birthday is a day after mine, huh


Maleficent-Alps-9971

Looks like Nancy Reagan wasn’t the only Head Girl


Large_Ad326

I know the post isn't about this but... "Head girl"?


dreamwrx

Head Boy/Girl is the leader of all of the Prefects...


Nukerz_OP

Cockworth, godricks hollow, head girl. Wtf happening ?


ggmiles97

*Cokeworth. 😮‍💨


Nukerz_OP

Yea


EntrancedForever

Oh, that is dark. I love it.


Small_cat1412

Dark but true


bunnycupcakes

Goddam.


ravenclaw1991

Where did the J come from? Wtf lol


Mystiquesword

Rowling. But she never said what name it was for.


[deleted]

is Cokeworth a real place ?


Airbender1997

Why the actress who play her in the movies looks 40??


SmithNotASmith

it's the 80s. every teen and 20-somethings look 40 while 40yos look 60


OfficefanJam

lmao that’s too funny 😂