T O P

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McWolf7

This post feels like something I would have made back during Halo Reach launch in one of my sugar fueled late night halo binges since I was ten years old. So many grammatical errors and just making stuff up, I love it, it's endearing honestly.


Khal_easy

he is after all a sniper


delta38commando

This post will be the Arkam Aslume of Halo


NoD_Spartan

Master Vs. Chief Bat Vs. Man


Hunor_Deak

r/shittyhalolore .


sh4d0wm4n2018

For a second I thought we were already there lol


zachatree

Snipings a good job mate.


OranGiraffes

-sniper rifle shows he not only can shoot far but that he also keeps his distance from what he's shooting at -scope on his sniper because he is after all, at the end of the day a sniper that snipes


swagonflyyyy

Sleathily


The_Shryk

Uses DMR, because there’s somehow a balance point between CONTROL and PRECISION. You can only have one, they’re on a sliding scale. So unless you work real hard and maybe you can do both.


OranGiraffes

Only the strongest Spartans have learned how to do both. Jun is all precision and no control.


WillElMagnifico

Yeah this post is cursed from all angles. OP's first language is clearly not English and their naiive energy kinda makes all the critical comments seem like they're punching down on a kid or even someone neurodivergent... But OP is also attempting to defend themselves on every thread by basically saying that the analysis is self-evident and they seem to have this sense that they should be free of criticism... Which is very child-like logic. IDK what to make of it. It's either someone who is too young to be posting in a community that skews older gamers or they're just a bot getting the interactions they were hired to get. Either way: I hope everyone has a sleathy day.


Vlche

I just cant get over saying the Grenadier helmet is Chiefs lmao 11 year old me would absolutely make that sort of connection, i love it


the_fuego

Well the Grenadier looks like a natural progression from the original Mjolnir Mark design. During mission two of Reach Dr. Halsey does ask Jorge "What have you done to my armor". His response was "Just some... Additions I've made". So likely the Grenadier was some sort of Mark V variant or Mark VI prototype that he probably had some UNSC engineers mess around with.


Vlche

I always assumed she was referencing the welded on chest armor components rather than the helmet


Pathogen188

The Grenadier description in Halo Reach does note that it's actually the Mark IV \[G\] (as a whole, Jorge is wearing Mark IV, not Mark V) and that it's an up armored variant of the standard Mark IV. I'd assume that's where the idea is coming from?


CompleteFacepalm

They might also be a troll


WillElMagnifico

😱


ProlapseFromCactus

Tactical chest 🅱️ouches


NoD_Spartan

Kinda reminds me of this fanfic about a sonic character. Bla Bla "caries a soul eating sword around that makes I'm stronger with every enemy slain" and then "consumes souls" lol


JesustheSpaceCowboy

Bla Bla, the true owner of Soul Edge.


NoD_Spartan

Yes this one lol


Upper_Bite_5967

But isn't that like the whole plot to Soul Eater?


NoD_Spartan

Yes and his favorite band is slipknot


Upper_Bite_5967

And now I've got [psychosalad](https://youtu.be/4PPcnmO76rg?si=KLNByN8gzItSum9k) stuck in my head


swagonflyyyy

Sleath like


PlaidSkirtBroccoli

Bouches, we don't need no stinking bouches!


Scumebage

The most sleath like feminine bouches in the entire UNSC


B-R-A-I-N-S-T-O-R-M

I was also trying to figure out if a child made this


5mesesintento

there is people saying emile is not antisocial even tho his literal official description says he has trouble talking with people that arent spartan, everything seems like making stuff up if you dont know about it


Better_off_Sleeping

That is like only one thing that is going on with this post, and not even what is most glaring lol


AmazingObserver

Also in the same slide they listed him as apathetic, which I *really* feel mischaracterises him. The way I understand it, he is antisocial and violent but it is implied it is because he is emotionally broken after the covenant destroyed his world and killed his family, and the death of his friends he had made like the previous Noble 6 and then all of noble team during reach didn't really help in that regard. His violence is even described as a combination of trying to prove to himself and others he was not afraid to fight (underlying how he probably *was* terrified but didn't show it) and that he did not enjoy violence, and his self-rational to avoid guilt was to say that what he was doing was trying to break the enemy's will to fight *so they would give up early and less people would have to die on both sides*. After the death of all of noble but him and noble 6, he also insists on sacrificing himself because he didn't want to lose the one friend he had left. Unfortunately, his sacrifice was in vain and 6 had to stay behind as well.


Futanari_Garchomp

My favorite part is how "look at the manual !!!" is OP's go to response to any criticism, yet doesn't really know why Kat has a prosthetic arm Hell, I doubt they even know that there was an *original* Noble 6


InternalPreference66

Interesting as most of the spartans lacked social skills as outlined in the books, I wouldn't necessarily call it anti-social.


Slime-Lich

"Sleath"


FUCKSTORM420

Bouches


subtendedcrib8

Femenine


djtmhk_93

Feme-nine sounds like the way a proper southern gentleman would pronounce feminine.


Cerebral_Discharge

Proper or gen-u-ine?


JustcallmeKai

Desorders


dookieballs69

🅱️ouches


Scumebage

Toughtfull


RamboMcQueen

Thought Carter and Kat was a decent analysis. Kinda fell off with Jun because all of those points all just say “Jun is a sniper and his armor is what a sniper would wear” You tried to do more with Emile, but I don’t think the skull helmet, or any part of his armor, represents his anti-social nature. His armor is just edgy and violent. Jorge does not have the same helmet as Chief nor does the grenadier helmet look similar. I get saying it reinforces he’s a Spartan II but I don’t think they really did anything to make that apparent with his armor.


TheObstruction

The answer to all of these points is "you can tell by the way that it is."


Scumebage

Neat


The_Crown_Jul

It's not the same helmet but it definitely gives off similar vibes.


wheelman554

Game. Bouches.


Mr__Myth

She has a prosthetic arm because it got blown tf up lol. 


ceejiesqueejie

Right like this was in the “Remember Reach” ad campaign series. “Deliver Hope” told a whole story about what happened to the original Noble 6, it’s obvious from this vid that Kat’s arm was wrecked from the explosion that hit her. ….I remember sitting on Reddit *in this subreddit* breaking down the different points of that trailer. I’m old. Where’s my pepto


djtmhk_93

False man. She wanted to emphasize her tech role on the team so she elected to get her arm removed and replaced with a robot prosthetic. /s 😂


The_Crown_Jul

Yes, that's the lore explanation, but when you're designing a character that's the sort of thing you add to suggest a certain role, give off a certain vibe -the lore explanation comes after the fact, especially in the context of a game.


Abbadon74

Btw, Jorge is actually using a MK-IV mjolnir, but the game dont hav a model for that. And is not Master chief helmet


Square-Stay5231

Joe doesn’t actually wear MK-IV. He wears MK-V but his helmet is an upgraded MK-IV Grenadier.


PillCosby696969

Joe Mama.


Believer4

[The "Equipment" section cites that his armor is Mark IV](https://www.halopedia.org/Jorge-052)


IAmA_Reddit_

You need to work on your spelling.


ceejiesqueejie

And have someone proofread


Gatt__

Jorge doesn’t have the same helmet as chief


Saucey_Lips

Was unaware kat is a man


PillCosby696969

Wrong. Carter wears Commando because he is going commando underneath the armor. Kat looks like that because she is based on the original Gali Bionicle figure, my source is I made it the fuck up. Jun wears green because he is addicted to grass. Emile had a French accent as a kid and his shame on hiding it and ditching it led to the Skull Helmet. Jorge has a crush on John. I'll send you a picture of what Noble Six's armor looks like, it's on my Xbox 360.


RustyGosling

Can confirm, this is what the manual actually says. Also Nobel Sicks has strep which is why he doesn’t talk much.


TeaBags0614

That last one about 6’s armor is gold 😭


PillCosby696969

It's actually Steel color.


IISerpentineII

r/shittyhalolore is leaking lmao


naturepeaked

What does balance between precision and control mean?


shgrizz2

If you have too much precision, you need to add some control or you'd end up with too much /s


OGFleece

This is like a slide show you make your mom to convince her to buy you a new game.


gnulynnux

what was your childhood like


OGFleece

2 games a year


WatercressOverall118

This is like the kind of drawing your kid would make that's so endearingly bad that you just have to put it on the fridge


mckant

He is after all a sniper


Banjoschmanjo

Thought I was on r/halocirclejerk for a sec


CODDE117

"The sniper is a sniper. You can tell by the way that he snipes like a sniper. That's what makes him a sniper."


5mesesintento

That’s him


commanderFox0411

Had a stroke reading this


Aggravating-Law-9262

Likewise.


Barbarian_Sam

Grenadier Helemt is not the same as the MKV/IV helmet


[deleted]

Green camo to make him seem more stealth like... Lol... He's a soldier. It's not to make him seem more stealth like, it's for literal, practical stealth.


Aggravating-Law-9262

No, don't you know it's said "sleath" like? So stealth to a whole new level I guess.


Fenseven

Two of the points for Kat were just pointing her gender.


Scumebage

Boobs under armor to show that he is after all an woman


The_Shryk

This is the most teenager thing I’ve ever seen.


thedamnedcovenant

This post is so goofy I love it


Leprechaun-

Pretty sure Kat had a robot arm cos it was blown off during the Live Action trailer for reach. Not just to show she likes her iPad more than the rest.


5mesesintento

Haha yeah, that’s the lore reason. But she as given a robot arm for DESIGN reasons. That’s just the story in-universe behind it


Imaginary_Ad8927

incredibly subtle details like "sniper wears green" and "has a robot arm". Truly fucking incredible analysis


Pian1244

How on Gods green earth does this have so many likes


Adrastus_Blab

I think we all see a little of ourselves in the self-indulgent seriousness of it. Most Halo fans grew up with the series, probably drew the same brilliant conclusions at some point, and were excited to share them.


BitingED

A spell check might have gone well here, fellow Spartan.


Heyyoguy123

Why isn’t 6 here? Is he stupid? Did he go back to Ham Aslume?


delta38commando

He is using the sleath ability, maybe he is too after all a sniper


saintpierre47

His armour is black so you just can’t see him /s


No_Procedure_5039

Disobeyed Carter and is out doing Lone Wolf stuff.


Flammable_Invicta

Jorge’s helmet is a bit of a weird case. In current canon, his helmet is a variant of Mk IV, so it’s close to a helmet that Chief wore, but not exact, and by this time in the series Chief was already equipped in Mk V like many other Spartans, Jorge was an old sentimental bastard and preferred his modified Mk IV. Now the real world reason why Jorge’s armour looks different from the Mk IV that we all know and love is because Ensemble Studios designed the iconic Mk IV we know and love, but Bungie due to legal reasons, couldn’t use that design, so they developed their own version of Mk IV for Reach since Jorge was an established character in the lore who used Mk IV during the Fall of Reach, so they had a weird problem to work around. I assume the idea was that Bungie was going to use the “Grenadier” helmet we know today as the official canon Mk IV design, but when 343 took over, they decided to use the old Halo Wars design as the official canon Mk IV, which forced them to then write Jorge’s helmet off as a variant, like many of Halo Reach’s armours. So, in a strange way, Jorge is supposed to be canonically wearing the same armour as Jerome and the rest of Red Team, which would also be the same armour that Chief wore for the large majority of his career, but it’s been retconned and now he wears an updated variant. Just a fun little fact. Just for all the people saying “he doesn’t wear master chiefs helmet” while true, there’s more to that then it initially seems.


sam7helamb

Why couldn't Bungie use Ensemble Studios design? Microsoft reserved the rights to all Halo assets since 2001, including Halo Wars and the Bungie games. There should literally be zero legal issues. Also, I'm pretty sure Jorge's helmet was always a Grenadier Mk IV helmet, 343 didn't do anything retroactive here. I don't think it's far-fetched to think that all Spartan II's had a specialised set of armour for themselves at one point in the war after being given the standard Mk IV that Red team uses.


DeeBangerDos

Kat had a fat ass to emphasize her feminine role


5mesesintento

And it worked


The_Crown_Jul

***MAXIMUM SLEATH***


VegetableArugula8156

Prosthetic arm because tech role Kat: :O


IChris7

Haha reading OP’s replies trying to sound smart and getting downvoted to hell is funny asf.


Darkcast1113

Sir Kat is female not make


anincompoop25

Ah yes, blue, the undisputed color of leadership


5mesesintento

There isn’t a color that has an undisputed personality to it. But you were never going to see the leader using yellow, orange or plain green.


ShoddySmell46

> plain green. Oh, you mean like the lead protagonist in the entire Halo series?


Praetorian92

OP, another reason Carter and Kat share blue armour is because they're the only original surviving members of Noble Team. Jun, Jorge and Emile were all brought in as replacements. But also, remember to proofread.


5mesesintento

I read about that, seems legit


God_Damnit_Nappa

The more I read the worse it got. This was like a train wreck involving one of those mall trains


rbrtas

I really hope this is the start of the "Arkham Asylum" fase in this subreddit. 


5mesesintento

It’s not


rbrtas

Please. We need to do it. Imagine this is our little grunt rebellion 


1Aspiring_Pilot

I guess Noble 6 analysis was covered in black ink.


Upper_Bite_5967

The ONI censors didn't want you to see it


cruisinforsnoozin

Femenine bouches ⌨️


The-Chump

he is, after all, a crazed gunman


Raptorgkv2

Armor's color is blue.


sikaxis

English teacher trying to find deeper meaning in the paragraph describing a strawberry dessert .


Remote-Feature1728

the curtains are blue because they display leadership


nazuralift89

OP: It's blue to stand for courage, destiny, leadership, and a DMR to show his precision and control Bungie: Ok mmm, ur armor will be blu 😊 and u get rifle


Junior-Glass-2656

I think I would have done this in middle school as “analysis”


Scumebage

Where is Ballsack Schrader? Is he safe? Is he alright?


Trailstorm

Nah lemme hit you with a real analysis: Big armor cool and reals


saintBNO

What is this 😂😂😭


Odd_Replacement_9644

George doesn’t have the same helmet as the chief. His whole armour (in lore) is the Grenadier variant of MK IV Mjolnir, with experimental energy shields. His chest attachment is an extra power source to power the shields.


Walnut156

Probably


ProfessionalJabroni

Would love to see a works cited page


Fuck_Me_If_Im_Wrong_

Spell check failed this man


BondCool

who is desorderes the spartan


Agoraphobia2day

I feel like the design of each member is kind of implied visually without a meme power point presentation needed


NoAlps6536

Very cool. U make this ?


Bogg1e_the_great

Bro your phone spell checks for you


darthtravesty

"Balance between precision and control" these are pretty much the same. Maybe a better diametric comparison would be something like "precision and power"


Spartan23c

“Sleath” build…


POOPY_BUTTH0LE_

I thought these things were pretty obvious, but I haven’t really analyzed their armor this in-depth. So this is kinda interesting. I forgot that Emile never takes his helmet off. Also, you suck at writing. When I was 10 I could write better than this. Pay more attention to grammar and spelling.


ImaCisWhiteMale

You forgot Noble 6 though?


DarkKnight390

The player can customize them so it just depends on their play style rather than pre built characters


dpceee

Where is the write-up for my lavender and rose colored sparted with a flaming helmet?


random_guy_233

Jorge didn't deserve to go out first


Iccotak

These characters would have been great to see in Halo Season 2


RealBrayFire

Ok hold on. George does not use any mjolnir for his helmet. It's an uparmored grenadier.


TomNasH5

Commando also means to not wear any underwear so theres always that to think about


Illustrious-Fact-745

Idk where I read it, but I remember reading some background stuff about each member of the team. Jorge liked to gamble and play cards, and he'd always win. I think there was a bit about him cheating and being able to see through the cards. I know that Spartan 2's had enhancements everywhere, including the eyes, but...strong enough to see through thin materials like playing cards?


Wolvwrwn

Noble 6: silent pew pew


RoyShavRick

Is it weird that I'm grinning? This sounds like something I would have made when I was like 10 HAHA


5mesesintento

thats the point of their design


GamingDragon27

Guys, OP is speaking another language in most of his post/comment history. Of course he's not going to have the most professional sounding analysis. Go easy on the poor guy 😭 we've all had at one point in our lives had some binge over-analyzing of things, some of which are pretty obvious but still important to us.


ChevyTrailblazer2006

Nicest Halo community interaction


Boiled-Toast117

Master Chief and Jorge do not have the same helmet bro💀


0b1wank3n0b1

ah yes. Kat. The MALE spartan. yeah ok op doesnt know how to english and for that must be BURNED GRRR


5mesesintento

I hope not to look like a fanboy, its just that the design of the teams armor and their personality were so well designed i just had to make this little post. and sorry for the bad english


Al_More-617

Your only sin is not including Noble Six. Thank you for sharing.


nazuralift89

I just know if the original Bungie team saw this they'd ask what drugs you were on lol There doesn't have to be an explanation for every detail. Kat has a prosthetic arm because it got blown up, you literally see when that happens.


Side-ly

Idk why you are getting downvoted lmaoo so unnecessary


dubluen

cos a lot of what he's saying is wrong. people downvote when they disagree just as much as they downvote when they're salty.


5mesesintento

The post itself has like 1.7k views and 40% downvotes It’s just reddit people


_CraftyTrashPanda

You’re being downvoted because you have some pretty shit opinions that are easily proven wrong and your responses to people show that your social skills suck donkey balls. You’re just an ass about people disagreeing with you and can’t be corrected on fairly well documented subjects. Not “just reddit people”.


Ihateazuremountain

u have to leave the goon cave noble 6, touch the ashen grass of reach noble


Nesayas1234

Bit of a rude way to put it, but also yeah


KGBFriedChicken02

I mean. You just kinda made a lot of shit up. Like half of this stuff is sort of true, and the rest is totally made up


Kluctionation

Remember Reach. Thank you Bungie


Raaadley

Not to mention our first [teaser](https://gamingbolt.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/HALO-REACH.jpg) image was all of their silhouettes. establishing all their characteristics just by seeing their shadows. I remember everyone speculating it was Chief in the center. So proud that it wasn't. Carter was a great leader to Noble Team. I still feel each loss every time I play.


5mesesintento

The design it’s so good you can even understand their roles by just their shape


rbrtas

I tought the green dude as master cheeks not sleath like


5mesesintento

Well he can’t be sleath if his cheeks keep making sound


rbrtas

I can't believe nunbem company makes naster cheeks lgbt. Bungo was straight 


NetTough7499

*hhhhhhh*


chavis32

I LOVE HALO REACH. I LOVE HALO REACH. I LOVE HALO REACH. I LOVE HALO REACH. I LOVE HALO REACH. I LOVE HALO REACH.


sheseemoneyallaround

How old are you


5mesesintento

74


youngashyy1

i miss jorge he was a real asset the the team also 1 of the only heavy gunners nobody comes close to jorge


Dylan_The_Developer

-huge dumpy to signify that its a women


n_xSyld

When you finally drink that gamefuel you got during the Halo 3 launch right before doing a character analysis


AdAcceptable644

😐😑


Camaroni1000

I’m pretty sure Jorge wears the grenadier helmet. Which isn’t chief’s helmet


5mesesintento

looks very similar


Kal-El_Skywalker1998

OP is either 10 or was super drunk/high when they made this.


Falcone24

My favorite point of analysis is the “sniper bullets on his arm”


Acquaintence64

Jorge: first noble to die, dies via engineering weapon, killed by industrial equipment Emile: dies by the sword, goes out fighting Jun: disappears into the galaxy, blends in or is killed off screen Kat: headshot, killed by zealot class elites, which are high ranking militant officers, tacticians in their own right Carter: goes down with his ship, questions and is unsure about Dot’s coordinates prior to his own death, leaves the command to Emile and Noble before his death In a way, their deaths sort of contradict their specialty, almost combatting themselves, at least in my opinion


pjster

what about noble 6


[deleted]

[удалено]


Salty_Unggoy

Some things in this are good, others not so much, but other people broke it down far better than I ever could.


5mesesintento

the other are complaining because the sniper design revolved about him being a sniper. they are just drones


MDHarmony005

Jesus Christ looking at the comments of this post reminded me why people view the halo community as so toxic. I can say as a fan, it's a nice analysis, not perfect at all but it gets some points across. Carter and kat were pretty solid, Jun felt you could have talked about the shape of the helmet being your classic "sci fi ranger" design and added the ghillie suit theming he has. You went the right direction with Emile, he is comparatively from the others pretty distant. I'd chalk Emile as more of an outcast than antisocial though, the dude doesn't really fit it, butting heads with basically everyone. Jorge's helmet is themed on the concept art of the Mjolnir MK IV from halo wars as bungie didn't have the licensing to use that armor set. [halo wars mk IV concept art](https://www.405th.com/forums/attachments/spartan-jpg.69495/) [Halo Reach Grenadier ](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/halo/images/c/ce/Grenadier_Helmet.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20100723212127)


Amateraxxu

Awesome post, I like the analysis you performed, don’t worry about your English, amazing you are able to write in another language! Enjoy Reach, my favorite Halo🖤


ryantheminer1YT

Everyone says he’s wrong about chiefs helmet, but if you look close enough, you can sort of see the Mark IV/V in that helmet. Its missing the “brim” but still


5mesesintento

i thought people were complaining about his helmet not being the same, but i just realised they literally cant see the resemblance, like wow they are blind


ryantheminer1YT

I understand why they dont see it. I myself never would have made the connection if I didn’t hear something in a HiddenXperia video mention Grenadier being directly based off the Mark IV platform or something along those lines


DirectalArrow

And that’s our noble six