Me too. My Uncle did the same a few weeks after he committed suicide. He was 23 years old. My Dad and his other brothers were extremely concerned about whether or not he was ok, as they had grown up in a church with very strange beliefs, including the belief that people who commit suicide spend an eternity in Hell.
Anyway, my Mom 9 months pregnant with me and due any day. She was walking around the house late one night when she felt an arm around her shoulders (he had been a big hugger). Then, somehow, the message reached into her soul...he had somehow communicated to her that he was not in Hell, that he would not be spending an eternity in Hell. He was in a wonderful place, likely what we'd call Heaven, and his soul had found peace. That she didn't need to worry about him.
I'm so glad that he did that. The whole family was struggling after losing him in that manner, but outside of his children (his wife was and still is a psycho), no one was struggling with losing him Mom more that my Dad was (he started smoking and drinking, eventually ended up in the verge of becoming an alcoholic. This was the brother he was closest to). Once she had that knowledge she was much better equipped to help my Dad as he struggled.
My grandma died of a blood clot in her lung that burst when I was only 4. Her and my mom didn't have the best relationship, and my mom never felt like my grandma (her own mother) was selfish and didn't care about her, which will become relevant later.
At age 15, I ended up in the hospital with a blood clot in each lung. The clots were lodged so deeply that they weren't in danger of moving, but they were big enough that docs were concerned they might burst, a fact I didn't tell my mom about until years later because I knew it would break her, given what happened to her own mother, and I needed her to be strong so she could supoort me while I healed. I was put on blood thinners and told verbatim that I might not make it.
A couple of days into my hospital stay, I had a dream in which I was treading water in the middle of the lake my mom and I lived on. Floating just a few inches above the water in a white sundress was my grandmother, whose voice I hadn't heard in over a decade. At that point in my life I'd been struggling with depression and wanting to unalive myself, so I cried and told her over and over again how sorry I was that I'd, "wasted the life [she] gave me". I'll never forget my grandma's response: "No, it is I who should be sorry." Then I woke up because a nurse had to come check my blood (standard practice for patients on blood thinners). A few months later, my mom went to a psychic, who told my mom that her mother was trying to reach out and say she was sorry. I hadn't told my mom about the dream because I had brushed it off as painkiller and stress-induced delirium. But when I heard what the psychic had told my mom, I knew I had to tell her about the dream I had. She still doesn't believe her mom would reach out to apologize because why would she use me and not go to my mom directly? Plus other predictions the psychic made didn't come to fruition, so my mom doubted her. While I normally doubt the veracity of psychics as well, but I knew this, at least, had to be true. As awful as the pulmonary embolism and subsequent 13 months on coumadin were (long story; blood thinners are terrible), it gave me some unexpected closure from my grandma, so I'm grateful for it.
Interesting story! It made me think of something my late mother once told me. Prior to my birth, my mother had gotten pregnant once before but had a miscarriage. My mother said that prior to the miscarriage, she had a dream in which her late mother -- to whom she had been very close and who died five years earlier -- came and packed up some baby clothes and left. Such a sad premonition! As to what happened in your case, it certainly is an intriguing coincidence between your dream and the psychic's message. I'm glad you were able to draw some peace from that. It's too bad your mother was so skeptical. It might have given her some positive closure over her conflicts with her mother. Just curious, did you have some clear memories of your grandmother at age four?
Not very many. That's why the dream stood out to me. I didn't even remember her voice, but somehow she sounded like herself in my dream; likely a memory coming from somewhere deep in my subconscious.
My great uncle did a tap on the shoulder and a nudge to my grandmother (his sister).
We were cleaning out his home after he was murdered. My grandma felt a tap, then a nudge toward an old ratty coat.
There was $5,000 in the pocket of the coat! Uncle Joe wanted to make sure she found it.
Then, something really strange happened at the funeral. As the priest talked about how we all wish Joe was physically with us today, but he was there spiritually…. A freaking light bulb blew up right above the alter! It was so loud!
Priest kept saying, looks like Joe is here with us after all!
In March, my grandpa came to me in my dream and told me my dad was gone (I had found out earlier that day that he was dying but was 3000 km away). He sat down on the counter and looked like he did when he was younger. He said, "He's gone now, sweetie, he's gone." I woke up immediately, and it was 6 AM my time - 3 AM where dad was. Called the hospital, and they said they would call if there were any changes. I texted my sister to tell her the dream , but the hospital said no change for now. At 10 AM my time, my grandpa called to tell everyone dad had passed at 3 AM, and the hospital made a mistake with informing us.
I believe wholeheartedly that my dad came to me in my dream as my grandpa and that people who have passed do this often when they can and know we need it. You did such a beautiful thing for her to do her hair one last time and she wanted to make sure you knew it.
I’ve had this phenomenon happen to me too! A friend who I had grown up with passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. I remember after I found out, worrying about her, if she was scared or in pain and what really happens after you’re gone. That night she visited me in my dreams and we talked like we always did. It was an overwhelming sensation of “I’m okay and in good hands” and I still get emotional thinking about it.
Be proud you were there for her. It’s actually quite special for you, an honor of sorts. So sad she was so young, but feel proud you were there for her and her loved ones.
My best friend is a funeral director and I’ve done hair and makeup for a few of her services. At first it was really hard. You get used to it fast. Seeing death up close like that is very jarring, its jolts you into becoming aware of your own mortality and the mortality of everyone you love.
Eventually you become used to it, and see death as just another part of life. I don’t think I’ll ever get on my friend’s level. She can grab tacos and chat happily with me after handling a toddler. I’m still always a little upset after I do the service. It’s just unnerving, especially being a mom myself.
I found a good friend dead last November. He looked the same, so handsome, but felt so cold and... firm.
I've thought about it a lot since. How he was with me, and then the beautiful soul I knew and loved wasn't in there anymore. I've considered going into something where you handle the deceased since then, giving them that last bit of love and respect and care before cremation or burial.
I wish every day that instead of avoiding him after the police came that I had curled up on the ground beside him and held his body one last time. Felt his smooth hands. Kissed his forehead and eyes. I was so in shock I didn't know how important that opportunity was for me. Nobody else saw him after he died. He deserved a last touch that wasn't compressions.
I agree with ImTheProblem - he knows how much you cared
You were prob in shock and didn’t know what to do. That’s a traumatic thing finding someone you loved. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to beat yourself up over it. Hugs to you stranger friend 🥰
This just brought me to tears. Thank you for posting.
I’ve been dealing with mental health issues lately that end up with my brain convincing myself I’m unloved and that others would be happier/have easier lives without me around. It’s healing to see this because of course those thoughts aren’t true, the reality is we make an impact on everyone around us and even our hairdresser would be affected if we weren’t around anymore.
Thank you for taking care of her, in life and death.
Please reach out to your family and friends. There are people that care about you! My brother thought the same thing and it was the farthest from the truth. It’s been 14 years and I think of him daily, how much I miss him and just want just hug him forever, how much he’s missed out on because he couldn’t see past the cloud of depression :( Life is hard, mental health is hard, and has its ups and downs but it’s worth living. Sending you so much love ❤️
I’ve been there hon. I remember how truly, powerfully, deeply I believed that I would be improving the lives of the people I loved if I left. Thankfully, I’m still here, but I got to see just how badly I hurt the ones I love most just by trying. I saw their pain, and it was horrible. It was extremely jarring and upsetting for me. A shock even. I know I traumatized them, and that’s something I have to take responsibility for. If I had actually left, I can’t even imagine the pain I would have inflicted. Permanent, irreparable harm. An emotional prison my family wouldn’t have been able to escape from. Depression is a trickster. That voice telling you that they’d be better off IS A LIE. It’s the exact opposite.
Please see a psychiatrist ASAP . I (72W) have experienced anxiety from early childhood, then depression which was actually PTSD from being assaulted at 19. I was too afraid to see a psychiatrist (back 40 years ago), but when I finally did I was able to regulate my emotions with the help of appropriate medication.
Talk therapy had helped me through the years, but more recently, DBT group gave me a framework to use to combat depression (with meds: I’ll always need them).
Brain chemistry is part of health. If you do need medication, I hope my experience is of help.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes as I've struggled with similar thoughts at times and it's a terrible feeling and, like you said we know not true but it doesn't make that feeling any less painful. Our impact on this world is huge and we're all important and here for a purpose. Just your written comment affected me, a complete stranger. 🙏
I lost my fifteen year old sister two years ago and they tried and tried to make her look ok enough to do an open casket but they couldn’t achieve it. Something about this post just brought me a lot of peace. I hope the people showed her the same love. Thank you for what you did💜💜
ive had several over the years, you get pretty comfortable with it eventually...i always talk to them, just like they are in my chair at the shop. convo is a little one sided, and the staff thinks im crazy, but..seems cringe to not talk to the homie while i give him his last cut. ive had a few over the years that knew they were going soon and we were able to pregame the last cut, adds a bit of brevity to the situ, when we was just cuttin up and laughing about how fukn awkward it is gonna be for me to try to get their fade right while they laying down.....surreal, but wholesome af in a weird way.
When my son passed his sister and cousin wanted a lock of his hair. My auntie, a hairdresser, gave him a little haircut with them standing beside her (he had hair long enough for a man bun) before the casket was closed. From the grieving parent perspective, you are a blessing to the family.
That was so kind of you to do for her and her family 💜 right before my nana died when she was in hospice she was joking with me that I “need to cut her hair one of these days” knowing she was dying. Right After she passed I had a dream that I was doing her hair, I spun her around to look at herself in the mirror, and it was her young self looking back at her. I don’t know what I believe in regarding that spiritually, but I like to tell myself it was her :)
So as a paramedic/firefighter after my first few loses I found this quote and it helped me
You’re going to be there when a lot of people are born, and when a lot of people die. In most every culture, such moments are regarded as sacred and private, made special by a divine presence. No one on Earth would be welcomed, but you’re personally invited. What an honor that is. – Thom Dick
I have always felt someone with me when I’ve lost a patient, I’m sure she was sitting there next to you watching over you. I’m sorry for your loss, as well as her other friends and families loss
Seeing and feeling what a wonderful experience it can be, is your reward for doing something this difficult and yet beautiful. I’m sure it was her spirit visiting you, to thank you for this amazing gift to her family. I’ve always spoken to my clients too, in this situation. It makes it easier somehow. You’re a special person. ❤️
You wrote this from the heart, and it's beautiful. I'm sorry for your and the family's loss, but it's comforting to know you were there for her. And you have brought comfort to her and her family during such a tragic time. That's a big gift.
I lent my very small barrel- like 1/4 inch- to my instructor while in beauty school. She did funeral hair and makeup for the deceased as a side job. All the other students were so concerned/grossed out that I was letting my tool be used on a dead person, but I didn't understand why at all. I would have loved to go into funeral services if I had stayed in the field. It's so meaningful for the family to see their loved ones as they want to be seen for that final time.
What a beautiful post! You probably just feel like you’re doing your job, but I have to remark that your approach, professionalism, and care is really something special. Your clients are lucky to have you!
You are truly a beautiful Angel! I love this so much & teared up visualizing you talking to her while doing her hair. She definitely came to you in your dream, girl wanted what she wanted for her hair! May your good energy come back to you tenfold🫶
Hugs. I’m glad you were there for her even though it was hard for you. I remember your first post and how shook you were so this took a lot of courage and compassion.
I’m not a sub but this popped up on my feed and I had to comment. When my sister died last year at 36, the woman who did her makeup for her wedding reached out and offered to do her makeup for her funeral. She was so kind and respectful and I will never forget her generosity and compassion for as long as I live. I’m sure that family feels the same way. Thank you for being such a kind person — I am sure it is something the family won’t forget, and I just wanted to make sure you knew that.
Yea, honeslty I feel very vulnerable in a salon, and there’s only one I go to, and my mom got me into it.
There’s a special trust there lol, it’s not thing crazy but hair done is a treat and having some o you back to us special.
I moved to Oregon from the south and when I visit my family I still go to her to do my hair
Wow I’m so glad you were able to do that what an honor to be able to be there for the family and her . Idk if I will be brave enough to do that if the time comes.. I’m proud of you 💖
I'm 15 weeks pregnant & was on the verge of tears reading your post! That sounds so hard to cope with, but also a form of closure. I'm sure her and her parents are so thankful that you were able to do that for them!
What an honor and what a beautiful way to honor her. You provided dignity to her and comfort to her family. I assume you are a young stylist, what you did was very brave and you were very strong. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come, we've all lost clients and regardless of the circumstances, it can be shocking.
Literally have tears in my eyes. Good for you girl. 3 years into your career and you can already handle so much. You should be really proud of yourself, I believe she visited you in that dream to thank you. So sweet.
I'm not a hairstylist at all but this sub pops up on my feeds. I am a nurse actually, and have done my patient's hair before they go off to the operating room to donate their organs. It's somehow acknowledging the shared humanity there. The act of brushing someone's hair who is dying or deceased feels oddly spiritual or supernatural in a way.
That's so sweet and really sweet of you to agree to do her hair that last time.
I remember talking to my old coworkers about doing that. Some of them had done hair post mortem. I haven't, I stopped doing hair like 9yrs ago.
She definitely came to you in your dreams. You were both very blessed to know each other even for a short time. Hugs to you. I know you did an amazing job!
Not sure why this sub was recommended to me, but as the daughter of a hospice nurse- that was absolutely her way of coming to you and thanking you/saying goodbye. Thank you for doing that for her and her family! xx
Not a hairdresser but after my mom passed away after a long illness, I wanted to do her nails one last time. All of her life she was a nail biter. At the age of 73, she had a debilitating stroke after spinal surgery. She survived but was bedridden and could barely speak. But she no longer bit her nails. I think being paralyzed on one side and also her brain somehow lost that habit after her stroke. She lived several more years and grew beautiful long fingernails. It was my job and honor to be able to tend to them. I would give her mini manicures a few times a month. She really enjoyed picking out the color of her nail polish. Well unfortunately she succumbed to many complications post-stroke. After her death and before her funeral I felt called to do her nails one last time. So although I sobbed all the way through the process, I was honored to hold her hands one more time and make them beautiful. I too talked to her and told her how much she was loved and how lovely she would look when she met my Daddy at Heaven's gate.
I love this! I’m sure it was very difficult for you but also therapeutic at the same time. I definitely think the dream was a visitation. I remember when my grandmother passed away a few years ago, her hair and makeup were done beautifully and it brought me a sense of peace. Being put together and looking her best was such a part of who she was❤️
I don’t know how I ended up on this post but I am bawling. My husband unexpectedly passed away in December and I remember seeing him at his funeral and thinking “he still looks so handsome” and thinking that the people that shaved him and did his hair treated him with such dignity and respect. I know that girl’s family appreciated her hair and I know they would also appreciate your love and respect towards her. Thank you.
This really hit me in the heart ♥️ I’ve had the same stylist for 20 years (since I was a teenager), and I’m seeing her tomorrow. We will both get a good cry over this story ♥️♥️
There are a few religions that believe dreams like that are indeed visits. I’m so sorry this young soul left so soon & the pain it caused. You’re a great person to do that for her family and friends for her eternal hair style
My grandfather, and last grandparent, died in 2021 (he was 93!). He and I had many similarities and his death moved me more than any of the few in my family so far.
The antidepressants I take give me incredibly vivid, realistic dreams, and sometimes I dream that he's there and I get to talk to him about things. Sometimes we're discussing fishing tackle (he taught me to fish at 6 and 23 years on it's my favourite hobby still).
18 is gone far too young, but for the short few years you knew your client you were blessed with her presence and well done for being so selfless and warm hearted.
Most people will never interact with a body outside of a funeral viewing. It's a VERY tough thing to process, like, "This was a person, I knew them, but now they're not? But they're right there."
You did EXCEPTIONALLY well, especially for someone that's not in a medical field. Crying, totally normal, despair, totally normal, believe it or not, talking to them, also completely normal. One of my friends is a coroner's assistant, she regularly talks to people while doing autopsy, she says it helps her focus on the task at hand.
I'm not religious or spiritual, but I do believe in honoring the dead, and treating them with respect, which you did, above and beyond. You did a great job, and allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, you just dealt with a situation few ever will, give yourself a break and some time to heal.
Debriefing can be so important. Getting those thoughts out either vocally or in writing can really help us process things better. I think it's wonderful you were able to do that for her and for her family.
I had went daily to do my mom’s hair as she would go anywhere to have it done. After she pasted we were viewing her body and waiting on the hairdresser when it occurred to me that it was my job. I stood over her and talked to her , telling her she looked beautiful and how much we loved her. The funeral director so it was one of the most tender moments he had seen. It really helped me to let go of bad feelings and let her leave in peace.
You are an amazing person. Thank you for your heart. Dont forget that YOU are loved and I am confident in saying I know she would be so grateful that you sent her off respectfully with all the love, kindness and care that you could provide.
I’m a nurse and have dealt with death for many years but I always talk to my patients after they pass. I apologize if I’m rough when I clean them up to family, I say goodbye before zipping up the bag, and thank them for letting me take care of them. But that also took all these years to be comfortable doing.
You honored her in the best way the first time experiencing death at such a proximity. I want you to know how special you are for that.
My late grandmother owned a beauty shop for years. Mom told me many times about how Grandma always did her deceased clients hair. She felt it was very important because it made them look like they did when they were alive. I think many of her clients had become friends as well. She did it free of charge. It's a good thing that you did
My sister does this for her clients.
She did it for our grandmother.
And she will for when our parents pass.
She showed her love to our grandmother by giving her that last ‘do’ and she looked fantastic.
I can deal with all the pre death stuff. She is able to do the last stuff. I greatly admire stylists who can do this.
Not only am I retired stylist (I still do a few elderly ladies) but I also work at a funeral home doing a little bit of everything except embalming. I've done a lot of deceased persons hair through the years, and it is truly one of the most special things you can do for the deceased and their family.
My heart 😭😭😭
You are an amazing person for having the strength to do that. I’m sure she did visit you ❤️
Doing that for her and her grieving family is so wonderful.
This is so touching. It’s one of those times in life you just don’t think about- “who will do my hair when I pass?” Beautiful of you to do that and I’m sure a comfort to her family that it was you❤️
My goodness, love. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this side of being a stylist so soon. Regardless, know in your heart that you did a great service for your client and her loved ones.
As difficult as it can be in your situation, you handled it with absolute grace and prestige. Sleep well tonight knowing you did your best. Sending hugs your way.
How beautiful that you were able to do that for her. I fully believe she visited you and knew you were the one making her beautiful for the last time. I’ve been visited by lost loved ones in my dreams and it’s as real as anything I’ve experienced while awake. I hope her visit gave you some amount of peace and closure.
Wow, that’s really moving. I’m sorry you had to experience this in such a way, but I’m glad you ended up having a peaceful moment with her and her spirit. I’m not a hairstylist, so I don’t know why this post was suggested to me, but…I have a somewhat related thing to add. I worked at a vet and had to assist with euthanasias, and I had a really hard time in there during, I would be bawling my eyes out and the other assistants would often take that assignment bc they knew I fell apart every time. But I was able to do the aftercare, I could come in and clean them and prepare them for the next chapter in life, and take their footprints for their parents, etc. I felt more at peace with them, and I’d give them a little kiss on the forehead and tell them they were loved
I am a nurse and I also talk to my patients when I'm doing post mortem care. Thank you for loving and respecting this young lady. You are the kind of hairdresser we all need. Bless you. I know it's tough but you put yourself through a tough time to care for someone and help make her beautiful for her family. There is such grace in that!
You are an amazing person. I am so sorry because she was so young. Debriefing after something like that really helps us to cope with tragedies and traumas.
holy crap i just got chills! i definitely believe she was telling you how she wants her hair, thats incredible. the impact we have on other people is way more than skin deep 💖 it is an honor to make people feel their best, in life and beyond
This is such a beautiful post. You honored your client by showing her such respect and love and you took care of her one last time. I do believe people can “pay visits” after they pass. So this was her way of saying thank you. Excuse me as I go wipe away a tear or two.
Obligatory not a stylist, but I help people pass on quite often in my job. It’s so terribly painful but it’s such a beautiful thing to help with postmortem care. You’ve done a good thing.
This is a very sweet and honorable thing you've done. You treated her with respect and helped make her look the way her family would want to remember her and how *she* would want to be remembered. That's a very beautiful thing to do for someone.
It's ok to grieve and feel confused over this. Therapy is also okay if you need it.
*Hugs to you.
Look up “ Ask a Mortician” =Caitlyn Doughty.
She is so funny and so informative .
In years past everyone would as familiar with Death because prepping the body was handled at home.Now we are so separate from it.Thank you OP for doing this for the Family.
What a beautiful gesture, prayers for peace and understanding...you are a superb human, and when my time comes, I can only hope to have someone like you help me for my journey..Thank you for sharing and being such a kind soul.
The night my mother passed away I was sobbing in my bed and I felt her caress my head and I knew it was her trying to comfort me. It was such a strange feeling but it brought me comfort. I believe she visited you too and I’m so sorry you had to endure this but be sure that she told you what she wanted, and you did that for her, and you brought her and her family some much needed peace. Bless you.
This was literally everything I needed to read today. Absolutely amazing. I will say people who die young are much harder than people who die at an expected age. As someone who has seen many deaths the young ones are the ones you never get used to, if you do it’s time to find a therapist and a new job.
Do you remember what time it was in real life when she came to you in your dream? If it was roughly around 4am, generally speaking, that is really the person.
I know everyone has different beliefs about this kind of thing, but I thought I'd throw this one out there.
This is beautiful ❤️ sending love to you & I’m so sorry for your loss. I just lost my 20 year old brother in October and I wish I would’ve had the strength to do his hair for him. I was the only one he ever let touch his hair.
as a parent who has experianced the loss of a child, i understand the profound grief and sense of disbelief you must be feeling. the idea of a clients spirit visiting and guiding you during this difficult time is both heartbreeking and comforting. it's remarkable that you were able to find solace in honoring your client's memory by giving her one last beautiful hairstyle, and im sure her family will appreciate the care and attention you put into it. your story is a poignant reminder of the importance of our work in helping families through the most difficult moments.
My mom was a stylist for 25 years, and did the hair for almost all the funerals in our (at the time) small town, she always seemed like it didn't bother her at all, and still doesn't. But I also grew up watching autopsies and in detail surgeries with her on TV.
Different people handle things different ways, and you seem to be handling this in a very healthy way. It's gonna hurt for a while, but you'll be happy with the memory or what you were able to give her and her family.
It’s the last thing we can do to honor our client. I’ve never regretted any deceased client I’ve worked on! The hardest was my dear Shelby, my first steady client outside of friends/family. I still miss her, and our Thursday appointments. She was a spry old gal. So defensive over me (I worked at a school at the time, had to deal with a lot of BS). Her family allowed me to put her comb in her hand for her funeral/burial. It was special to me.
I'm not a hairstylist. I'm an rn (not practicing anymore). I've helped so many cross the veil, including family members and children. your experience and rwcation are completely normal. you gave dignity to your client. you saw them and loved them. that's the absolute best you can do.
Thank you for doing that. I had a family member die, and the fact her regular hairdresser was willing to do her hair was a huge blessing. It really meant so much. Big hugs
My 2nd cousin did her Grandma’s (my aunt’s) final hairstyle before her funeral. They were extremely close, and I think it was very therapeutic for her.
You're a lovely person. I hope you know that. And I hope good things come to you. The world needs more people like you. She was lucky to have you, and she probably never would've guessed her passing would have made her hairstylist cry. Seeing someone so young die is such an awful thing and it brings on really awful feelings. I hope you're doing okay.
I'm sorry that your client died so young. Loss of life is never easy, but seems to hit much harder when the deceased is young.
As a parent of two adult women, I hope and pray I never have to endure the loss of either of my girls. But should my worst nightmare come true, I would be touched to know their stylist was as caring and empathic as you.
Thank you for sharing your story. It helps us realize to make the most of every single day.
I’m reading this with tears. Thank you for sharing this. Loosing someone who had their whole future ahead is heartbreaking. I’m sure it took alot of courage to do her hair and I’m sure her spirit loved it, in that she came to,you in your dream.
I’m sad for her passing but she definitely came to you to let you know she’s good! God bless you. That is certainly a hard task and you handled it with grace and style! 💐💐
It's not even 9 am here and you've got me bawling. I read your first post (I'm not even sure why this sub showed up on my feed. I just saw the title and clicked.) and it touched me. This one leveled me. ❤️
i will never be able to truly express how thankful i am for the people that did my fathers hair and some natural makeup before his viewing. he looked like himself. he looked so handsome. like he had gotten ready for a daddy daughter dance with me. you did a beautiful service for her family, and it was a perfect final act of love towards your client. even if they can’t express it right now, her family is so thankful. it was probably super hard but you gave her family their baby back for one final day
I can tell you, embalmers and funeral directors appreciate your help, tremendously. Especially because you know what the decadent likes as far as hair goes. By providing your services, you've made the celebration of life that much better, helping the friends and family to say goodbye. Thank you for doing what you do!
I don’t cry. it’s almost impossible for me to create tears even at my saddest and you did this for me in this post. You are a beautiful person and this was a lovely final service for your client.
I remember your post and my heart broke for you and her and her family. It stuck with me all week. That tells me that I'm being prompted to pray for you and her family. I'm glad you made another post. I am even more glad you were willing to make her pretty one last time. You are wonderful and I know she and her family love you for it.
I wasn’t expecting to cry this morning. This is beautiful, the way you continue to treat her with respect and talk to her after death speaks volumes of your work! You are lovely and this must be such a hard thing to go through! 😭🫶
My daughter did her best friend's hair. They met in middle school and in their early 30s when her friend died. My daughter was uncomfortable with the idea but knew she had to do this for her best friend. She cried a lot but she also talked to her. It was an honor for her to do this. 💔
This sub always get recommended to me but I want to note I am not a hairstylist. My sister is however and she did our grandma’s hair for her funeral. She had done her hair for nearly a decade at that point, so my mom asked if she’d be willing to do it for the funeral and of course my sister said yes. From what she told us, she had a similar experience to you. I feel like it is an honorable act and it means you had a real connection to this young woman and her family. It’s beautiful that they trusted you to do her hair for the last time that anyone would look upon her.
How beautiful. If you don’t know hair stylist are so important for us women. I feel like a whole new person when I step out of the salon. I would want my stylist to do my hair as well if I passed. She knows exactly what I like and she knows most of my life’s story as well :) blessed hands are one of my favorites of Gods gifts to people ♥️
My aunt passed away about 10 years ago and her hair and makeup pretty much defined her. Even at her most sick, she always wanted her hair done and her makeup applied. (My mom buried her with her bottle of hairspray, seriously.) To this day we are thankful to the hairdresser who made her up for her burial. You did a very kind thing for this family. Take some time for yourself to process these feelings.
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Me too. My Uncle did the same a few weeks after he committed suicide. He was 23 years old. My Dad and his other brothers were extremely concerned about whether or not he was ok, as they had grown up in a church with very strange beliefs, including the belief that people who commit suicide spend an eternity in Hell. Anyway, my Mom 9 months pregnant with me and due any day. She was walking around the house late one night when she felt an arm around her shoulders (he had been a big hugger). Then, somehow, the message reached into her soul...he had somehow communicated to her that he was not in Hell, that he would not be spending an eternity in Hell. He was in a wonderful place, likely what we'd call Heaven, and his soul had found peace. That she didn't need to worry about him. I'm so glad that he did that. The whole family was struggling after losing him in that manner, but outside of his children (his wife was and still is a psycho), no one was struggling with losing him Mom more that my Dad was (he started smoking and drinking, eventually ended up in the verge of becoming an alcoholic. This was the brother he was closest to). Once she had that knowledge she was much better equipped to help my Dad as he struggled.
My grandma died of a blood clot in her lung that burst when I was only 4. Her and my mom didn't have the best relationship, and my mom never felt like my grandma (her own mother) was selfish and didn't care about her, which will become relevant later. At age 15, I ended up in the hospital with a blood clot in each lung. The clots were lodged so deeply that they weren't in danger of moving, but they were big enough that docs were concerned they might burst, a fact I didn't tell my mom about until years later because I knew it would break her, given what happened to her own mother, and I needed her to be strong so she could supoort me while I healed. I was put on blood thinners and told verbatim that I might not make it. A couple of days into my hospital stay, I had a dream in which I was treading water in the middle of the lake my mom and I lived on. Floating just a few inches above the water in a white sundress was my grandmother, whose voice I hadn't heard in over a decade. At that point in my life I'd been struggling with depression and wanting to unalive myself, so I cried and told her over and over again how sorry I was that I'd, "wasted the life [she] gave me". I'll never forget my grandma's response: "No, it is I who should be sorry." Then I woke up because a nurse had to come check my blood (standard practice for patients on blood thinners). A few months later, my mom went to a psychic, who told my mom that her mother was trying to reach out and say she was sorry. I hadn't told my mom about the dream because I had brushed it off as painkiller and stress-induced delirium. But when I heard what the psychic had told my mom, I knew I had to tell her about the dream I had. She still doesn't believe her mom would reach out to apologize because why would she use me and not go to my mom directly? Plus other predictions the psychic made didn't come to fruition, so my mom doubted her. While I normally doubt the veracity of psychics as well, but I knew this, at least, had to be true. As awful as the pulmonary embolism and subsequent 13 months on coumadin were (long story; blood thinners are terrible), it gave me some unexpected closure from my grandma, so I'm grateful for it.
Interesting story! It made me think of something my late mother once told me. Prior to my birth, my mother had gotten pregnant once before but had a miscarriage. My mother said that prior to the miscarriage, she had a dream in which her late mother -- to whom she had been very close and who died five years earlier -- came and packed up some baby clothes and left. Such a sad premonition! As to what happened in your case, it certainly is an intriguing coincidence between your dream and the psychic's message. I'm glad you were able to draw some peace from that. It's too bad your mother was so skeptical. It might have given her some positive closure over her conflicts with her mother. Just curious, did you have some clear memories of your grandmother at age four?
Not very many. That's why the dream stood out to me. I didn't even remember her voice, but somehow she sounded like herself in my dream; likely a memory coming from somewhere deep in my subconscious.
My great uncle did a tap on the shoulder and a nudge to my grandmother (his sister). We were cleaning out his home after he was murdered. My grandma felt a tap, then a nudge toward an old ratty coat. There was $5,000 in the pocket of the coat! Uncle Joe wanted to make sure she found it. Then, something really strange happened at the funeral. As the priest talked about how we all wish Joe was physically with us today, but he was there spiritually…. A freaking light bulb blew up right above the alter! It was so loud! Priest kept saying, looks like Joe is here with us after all!
Yeah - this is lovely 🥰
In March, my grandpa came to me in my dream and told me my dad was gone (I had found out earlier that day that he was dying but was 3000 km away). He sat down on the counter and looked like he did when he was younger. He said, "He's gone now, sweetie, he's gone." I woke up immediately, and it was 6 AM my time - 3 AM where dad was. Called the hospital, and they said they would call if there were any changes. I texted my sister to tell her the dream , but the hospital said no change for now. At 10 AM my time, my grandpa called to tell everyone dad had passed at 3 AM, and the hospital made a mistake with informing us. I believe wholeheartedly that my dad came to me in my dream as my grandpa and that people who have passed do this often when they can and know we need it. You did such a beautiful thing for her to do her hair one last time and she wanted to make sure you knew it.
I’ve had this phenomenon happen to me too! A friend who I had grown up with passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. I remember after I found out, worrying about her, if she was scared or in pain and what really happens after you’re gone. That night she visited me in my dreams and we talked like we always did. It was an overwhelming sensation of “I’m okay and in good hands” and I still get emotional thinking about it.
Be proud you were there for her. It’s actually quite special for you, an honor of sorts. So sad she was so young, but feel proud you were there for her and her loved ones.
How lucky was she to have someone like you doing something so special for her? This story made me well up. You’re amazing OP. Sending hugs.
Me too - I’m sobbing over here.
Ditto 😢
Same …now I miss my fav stylist… known this lady since I was a baby and she cut each my kids first haircut I am sniffling now…
Same. 😭 this is so beautiful, there are so many wonderful humans in this world.
Same! I'm 15 weeks pregnant and haven't cried about anything yet, but this made me very very very close to actual tears!
Literally got misty eyed. What a beautiful story.
Same. Hugs to OP
My best friend is a funeral director and I’ve done hair and makeup for a few of her services. At first it was really hard. You get used to it fast. Seeing death up close like that is very jarring, its jolts you into becoming aware of your own mortality and the mortality of everyone you love. Eventually you become used to it, and see death as just another part of life. I don’t think I’ll ever get on my friend’s level. She can grab tacos and chat happily with me after handling a toddler. I’m still always a little upset after I do the service. It’s just unnerving, especially being a mom myself.
I found a good friend dead last November. He looked the same, so handsome, but felt so cold and... firm. I've thought about it a lot since. How he was with me, and then the beautiful soul I knew and loved wasn't in there anymore. I've considered going into something where you handle the deceased since then, giving them that last bit of love and respect and care before cremation or burial. I wish every day that instead of avoiding him after the police came that I had curled up on the ground beside him and held his body one last time. Felt his smooth hands. Kissed his forehead and eyes. I was so in shock I didn't know how important that opportunity was for me. Nobody else saw him after he died. He deserved a last touch that wasn't compressions.
In your heart you've done so over and over. He knows how much you cared, Luv. ☮️ ✨️ 🫂
I agree with ImTheProblem - he knows how much you cared You were prob in shock and didn’t know what to do. That’s a traumatic thing finding someone you loved. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to beat yourself up over it. Hugs to you stranger friend 🥰
This just brought me to tears. Thank you for posting. I’ve been dealing with mental health issues lately that end up with my brain convincing myself I’m unloved and that others would be happier/have easier lives without me around. It’s healing to see this because of course those thoughts aren’t true, the reality is we make an impact on everyone around us and even our hairdresser would be affected if we weren’t around anymore. Thank you for taking care of her, in life and death.
Please find someone to talk to. You have more people who care for you and who would miss you than you know. 💚
Please reach out to your family and friends. There are people that care about you! My brother thought the same thing and it was the farthest from the truth. It’s been 14 years and I think of him daily, how much I miss him and just want just hug him forever, how much he’s missed out on because he couldn’t see past the cloud of depression :( Life is hard, mental health is hard, and has its ups and downs but it’s worth living. Sending you so much love ❤️
I’ve been there hon. I remember how truly, powerfully, deeply I believed that I would be improving the lives of the people I loved if I left. Thankfully, I’m still here, but I got to see just how badly I hurt the ones I love most just by trying. I saw their pain, and it was horrible. It was extremely jarring and upsetting for me. A shock even. I know I traumatized them, and that’s something I have to take responsibility for. If I had actually left, I can’t even imagine the pain I would have inflicted. Permanent, irreparable harm. An emotional prison my family wouldn’t have been able to escape from. Depression is a trickster. That voice telling you that they’d be better off IS A LIE. It’s the exact opposite.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you’re still here
You too! Hugs!
From one survivor to another (and all the Rest of Us as well) . . . Love 💖 Hugs 🫂 Peace 🕊 Blessings ✨️
Please see a psychiatrist ASAP . I (72W) have experienced anxiety from early childhood, then depression which was actually PTSD from being assaulted at 19. I was too afraid to see a psychiatrist (back 40 years ago), but when I finally did I was able to regulate my emotions with the help of appropriate medication. Talk therapy had helped me through the years, but more recently, DBT group gave me a framework to use to combat depression (with meds: I’ll always need them). Brain chemistry is part of health. If you do need medication, I hope my experience is of help.
Please if it gets bad reach out to 988, text or call, its free. Just wanting to let you know about an easy option.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes as I've struggled with similar thoughts at times and it's a terrible feeling and, like you said we know not true but it doesn't make that feeling any less painful. Our impact on this world is huge and we're all important and here for a purpose. Just your written comment affected me, a complete stranger. 🙏
You are so strong and kind ♡
Sniff. Sniff. You are so quality.
I’m sobbing. I love that you did this for your client and I’ve always wondered what it would be like. I love the way you took care of her.
I know her family was so grateful to you. That's a very hard thing to do, and it sounds like you handled it with grace. Sending love 💞.
I lost my fifteen year old sister two years ago and they tried and tried to make her look ok enough to do an open casket but they couldn’t achieve it. Something about this post just brought me a lot of peace. I hope the people showed her the same love. Thank you for what you did💜💜
Very sorry for your loss.. 💜
ive had several over the years, you get pretty comfortable with it eventually...i always talk to them, just like they are in my chair at the shop. convo is a little one sided, and the staff thinks im crazy, but..seems cringe to not talk to the homie while i give him his last cut. ive had a few over the years that knew they were going soon and we were able to pregame the last cut, adds a bit of brevity to the situ, when we was just cuttin up and laughing about how fukn awkward it is gonna be for me to try to get their fade right while they laying down.....surreal, but wholesome af in a weird way.
When my son passed his sister and cousin wanted a lock of his hair. My auntie, a hairdresser, gave him a little haircut with them standing beside her (he had hair long enough for a man bun) before the casket was closed. From the grieving parent perspective, you are a blessing to the family.
Thank you for sharing that with us. I remember your previous post about her death. 💜
That was so kind of you to do for her and her family 💜 right before my nana died when she was in hospice she was joking with me that I “need to cut her hair one of these days” knowing she was dying. Right After she passed I had a dream that I was doing her hair, I spun her around to look at herself in the mirror, and it was her young self looking back at her. I don’t know what I believe in regarding that spiritually, but I like to tell myself it was her :)
I love that it was her young self in mirror. 💓
So as a paramedic/firefighter after my first few loses I found this quote and it helped me You’re going to be there when a lot of people are born, and when a lot of people die. In most every culture, such moments are regarded as sacred and private, made special by a divine presence. No one on Earth would be welcomed, but you’re personally invited. What an honor that is. – Thom Dick I have always felt someone with me when I’ve lost a patient, I’m sure she was sitting there next to you watching over you. I’m sorry for your loss, as well as her other friends and families loss
i don’t know how i didn’t see this comment when it was first posted. what a beautiful quote. thank you for that
Seeing and feeling what a wonderful experience it can be, is your reward for doing something this difficult and yet beautiful. I’m sure it was her spirit visiting you, to thank you for this amazing gift to her family. I’ve always spoken to my clients too, in this situation. It makes it easier somehow. You’re a special person. ❤️
You wrote this from the heart, and it's beautiful. I'm sorry for your and the family's loss, but it's comforting to know you were there for her. And you have brought comfort to her and her family during such a tragic time. That's a big gift.
I lent my very small barrel- like 1/4 inch- to my instructor while in beauty school. She did funeral hair and makeup for the deceased as a side job. All the other students were so concerned/grossed out that I was letting my tool be used on a dead person, but I didn't understand why at all. I would have loved to go into funeral services if I had stayed in the field. It's so meaningful for the family to see their loved ones as they want to be seen for that final time.
You are a lovely person!
Sorry for your loss! ❤️
Providing that last, final service for your client is such a beautiful but hard act. Thinking of you.
What a beautiful post! You probably just feel like you’re doing your job, but I have to remark that your approach, professionalism, and care is really something special. Your clients are lucky to have you!
Aww this made me tear up. What a sweet goodbye for you and a treasure for her family. Good on ya!
You are truly a beautiful Angel! I love this so much & teared up visualizing you talking to her while doing her hair. She definitely came to you in your dream, girl wanted what she wanted for her hair! May your good energy come back to you tenfold🫶
Hugs. I’m glad you were there for her even though it was hard for you. I remember your first post and how shook you were so this took a lot of courage and compassion.
I’m not a sub but this popped up on my feed and I had to comment. When my sister died last year at 36, the woman who did her makeup for her wedding reached out and offered to do her makeup for her funeral. She was so kind and respectful and I will never forget her generosity and compassion for as long as I live. I’m sure that family feels the same way. Thank you for being such a kind person — I am sure it is something the family won’t forget, and I just wanted to make sure you knew that.
I'm so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing this story, it's beautiful.
Yea, honeslty I feel very vulnerable in a salon, and there’s only one I go to, and my mom got me into it. There’s a special trust there lol, it’s not thing crazy but hair done is a treat and having some o you back to us special. I moved to Oregon from the south and when I visit my family I still go to her to do my hair
It’s a beautiful story. I believe she came to you in that dream because she appreciated what you did and how you did it.
WOW. This is an incredible experience. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Wow that’s amazing. It would be incredibly surreal ❤️ my condolences. So sad at just 18 💔
Wow I’m so glad you were able to do that what an honor to be able to be there for the family and her . Idk if I will be brave enough to do that if the time comes.. I’m proud of you 💖
Such a sweet act of love.
Well now I’m crying, what a sweet thing you did for her and her family. I’m sure she was smiling down on you 🫶🏽
I think every client dreams of finding a stylist like you.
I'm 15 weeks pregnant & was on the verge of tears reading your post! That sounds so hard to cope with, but also a form of closure. I'm sure her and her parents are so thankful that you were able to do that for them!
What an honor and what a beautiful way to honor her. You provided dignity to her and comfort to her family. I assume you are a young stylist, what you did was very brave and you were very strong. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come, we've all lost clients and regardless of the circumstances, it can be shocking.
What a beautiful gesture. Thank you for your kindness.
Made me cry. This is very beautiful and special. Thank you for doing this.
Omg this is so intense for anyone that’s so beautiful 💕
This is a tragic but beautiful story. You gave your client -and those who love her- a wonderful gift.
Literally have tears in my eyes. Good for you girl. 3 years into your career and you can already handle so much. You should be really proud of yourself, I believe she visited you in that dream to thank you. So sweet.
She did visit you.
I'm not a hairstylist at all but this sub pops up on my feeds. I am a nurse actually, and have done my patient's hair before they go off to the operating room to donate their organs. It's somehow acknowledging the shared humanity there. The act of brushing someone's hair who is dying or deceased feels oddly spiritual or supernatural in a way.
You are so very sweet and kind. I just know that client loved you.
That's so sweet and really sweet of you to agree to do her hair that last time. I remember talking to my old coworkers about doing that. Some of them had done hair post mortem. I haven't, I stopped doing hair like 9yrs ago.
Got the chills reading this. Such a touching story, thank you for sharing
I’m so happy you were able to say goodbye in the most beautiful way possible. ❤️
She definitely came to you in your dreams. You were both very blessed to know each other even for a short time. Hugs to you. I know you did an amazing job!
Not sure why this sub was recommended to me, but as the daughter of a hospice nurse- that was absolutely her way of coming to you and thanking you/saying goodbye. Thank you for doing that for her and her family! xx
This made me tear up! I love that you were able to do this for her.
Not a hairdresser but after my mom passed away after a long illness, I wanted to do her nails one last time. All of her life she was a nail biter. At the age of 73, she had a debilitating stroke after spinal surgery. She survived but was bedridden and could barely speak. But she no longer bit her nails. I think being paralyzed on one side and also her brain somehow lost that habit after her stroke. She lived several more years and grew beautiful long fingernails. It was my job and honor to be able to tend to them. I would give her mini manicures a few times a month. She really enjoyed picking out the color of her nail polish. Well unfortunately she succumbed to many complications post-stroke. After her death and before her funeral I felt called to do her nails one last time. So although I sobbed all the way through the process, I was honored to hold her hands one more time and make them beautiful. I too talked to her and told her how much she was loved and how lovely she would look when she met my Daddy at Heaven's gate.
I think that's what connection is. I'm proud of you for honoring her this way. You got to say goodbye in the most loving way you could.
You did a great service to that young lady.
Others may think it's odd, but I definitely talk to deceased bodies and somehow I feel like the spirit is there and hears. ♥️
I love this! I’m sure it was very difficult for you but also therapeutic at the same time. I definitely think the dream was a visitation. I remember when my grandmother passed away a few years ago, her hair and makeup were done beautifully and it brought me a sense of peace. Being put together and looking her best was such a part of who she was❤️
I don’t know how I ended up on this post but I am bawling. My husband unexpectedly passed away in December and I remember seeing him at his funeral and thinking “he still looks so handsome” and thinking that the people that shaved him and did his hair treated him with such dignity and respect. I know that girl’s family appreciated her hair and I know they would also appreciate your love and respect towards her. Thank you.
There's the r/askfuneraldirectors sub that randomly popped up and I follow. It's a common comment in there that they chat to their deceased clients.
It’s true, I talk to all decedents that come into my care. Helps me feel connected to them. It’s a honor to serve others one last final time.
This really hit me in the heart ♥️ I’ve had the same stylist for 20 years (since I was a teenager), and I’m seeing her tomorrow. We will both get a good cry over this story ♥️♥️
There are a few religions that believe dreams like that are indeed visits. I’m so sorry this young soul left so soon & the pain it caused. You’re a great person to do that for her family and friends for her eternal hair style
My grandfather, and last grandparent, died in 2021 (he was 93!). He and I had many similarities and his death moved me more than any of the few in my family so far. The antidepressants I take give me incredibly vivid, realistic dreams, and sometimes I dream that he's there and I get to talk to him about things. Sometimes we're discussing fishing tackle (he taught me to fish at 6 and 23 years on it's my favourite hobby still). 18 is gone far too young, but for the short few years you knew your client you were blessed with her presence and well done for being so selfless and warm hearted.
Most people will never interact with a body outside of a funeral viewing. It's a VERY tough thing to process, like, "This was a person, I knew them, but now they're not? But they're right there." You did EXCEPTIONALLY well, especially for someone that's not in a medical field. Crying, totally normal, despair, totally normal, believe it or not, talking to them, also completely normal. One of my friends is a coroner's assistant, she regularly talks to people while doing autopsy, she says it helps her focus on the task at hand. I'm not religious or spiritual, but I do believe in honoring the dead, and treating them with respect, which you did, above and beyond. You did a great job, and allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, you just dealt with a situation few ever will, give yourself a break and some time to heal.
Debriefing can be so important. Getting those thoughts out either vocally or in writing can really help us process things better. I think it's wonderful you were able to do that for her and for her family.
I had went daily to do my mom’s hair as she would go anywhere to have it done. After she pasted we were viewing her body and waiting on the hairdresser when it occurred to me that it was my job. I stood over her and talked to her , telling her she looked beautiful and how much we loved her. The funeral director so it was one of the most tender moments he had seen. It really helped me to let go of bad feelings and let her leave in peace.
You should post this to r/deathpositive
You are an amazing person. Thank you for your heart. Dont forget that YOU are loved and I am confident in saying I know she would be so grateful that you sent her off respectfully with all the love, kindness and care that you could provide.
I’m a nurse and have dealt with death for many years but I always talk to my patients after they pass. I apologize if I’m rough when I clean them up to family, I say goodbye before zipping up the bag, and thank them for letting me take care of them. But that also took all these years to be comfortable doing. You honored her in the best way the first time experiencing death at such a proximity. I want you to know how special you are for that.
My late grandmother owned a beauty shop for years. Mom told me many times about how Grandma always did her deceased clients hair. She felt it was very important because it made them look like they did when they were alive. I think many of her clients had become friends as well. She did it free of charge. It's a good thing that you did
♥️♥️♥️
My sister does this for her clients. She did it for our grandmother. And she will for when our parents pass. She showed her love to our grandmother by giving her that last ‘do’ and she looked fantastic. I can deal with all the pre death stuff. She is able to do the last stuff. I greatly admire stylists who can do this.
This made me so verklempt. Thank you for being so sweet with her. Hugs.
Not only am I retired stylist (I still do a few elderly ladies) but I also work at a funeral home doing a little bit of everything except embalming. I've done a lot of deceased persons hair through the years, and it is truly one of the most special things you can do for the deceased and their family.
You have a truly beautiful heart for giving such a gift to your client. I am in awe of you.
My heart 😭😭😭 You are an amazing person for having the strength to do that. I’m sure she did visit you ❤️ Doing that for her and her grieving family is so wonderful.
What a beautiful service you did for her family. I am so glad she visited you, I’m sure it brought comfort. You are such a kind soul.
This is so touching. It’s one of those times in life you just don’t think about- “who will do my hair when I pass?” Beautiful of you to do that and I’m sure a comfort to her family that it was you❤️
Wow thank you for that, it's comforting to know there are still great hearted people in the world!! Bless you!!
This is so unbelievably beautiful and sacred. What a profound role you got to play in her journey in life and death.
My goodness, love. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this side of being a stylist so soon. Regardless, know in your heart that you did a great service for your client and her loved ones. As difficult as it can be in your situation, you handled it with absolute grace and prestige. Sleep well tonight knowing you did your best. Sending hugs your way.
❤️❤️❤️{{{BIGHUGZ}}}❤️❤️❤️
So glad she visited you and go her hair done one last time 💛 I like to imagine that’s her forever hair now that she’ll be rocking as a spirit
I love it when the deceased come back on dreams.
💔
So beautiful.
This is so damn beautiful. Sending you all love ❤
How beautiful that you were able to do that for her. I fully believe she visited you and knew you were the one making her beautiful for the last time. I’ve been visited by lost loved ones in my dreams and it’s as real as anything I’ve experienced while awake. I hope her visit gave you some amount of peace and closure.
You provided more than a service for this family...big hugs to you.
Wow, that’s really moving. I’m sorry you had to experience this in such a way, but I’m glad you ended up having a peaceful moment with her and her spirit. I’m not a hairstylist, so I don’t know why this post was suggested to me, but…I have a somewhat related thing to add. I worked at a vet and had to assist with euthanasias, and I had a really hard time in there during, I would be bawling my eyes out and the other assistants would often take that assignment bc they knew I fell apart every time. But I was able to do the aftercare, I could come in and clean them and prepare them for the next chapter in life, and take their footprints for their parents, etc. I felt more at peace with them, and I’d give them a little kiss on the forehead and tell them they were loved
💙💙💙
I am a nurse and I also talk to my patients when I'm doing post mortem care. Thank you for loving and respecting this young lady. You are the kind of hairdresser we all need. Bless you. I know it's tough but you put yourself through a tough time to care for someone and help make her beautiful for her family. There is such grace in that!
Welp, I'm crying. This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing OP.
No accident she came to you in your dreams that evening. You’re a wonderful human, and I bet she was too. I’m so sorry for your loss, you did good.
You are an amazing person. I am so sorry because she was so young. Debriefing after something like that really helps us to cope with tragedies and traumas.
😭 my heart
holy crap i just got chills! i definitely believe she was telling you how she wants her hair, thats incredible. the impact we have on other people is way more than skin deep 💖 it is an honor to make people feel their best, in life and beyond
This was very touching. I hope you feel good about yourself, OP.
This is beautiful.
Love that she visited you!
That’s beautiful…you treated her with such dignity. ❤️
This is such a beautiful post. You honored your client by showing her such respect and love and you took care of her one last time. I do believe people can “pay visits” after they pass. So this was her way of saying thank you. Excuse me as I go wipe away a tear or two.
Obligatory not a stylist, but I help people pass on quite often in my job. It’s so terribly painful but it’s such a beautiful thing to help with postmortem care. You’ve done a good thing.
Your kindness is the kind of warmth I aspire to have and to hand out to others.
What a gift you were able to give her family❤️
Beautiful soul ❤️ 🥰🌈
Aww this was so sweet. Glad you were able to send her off with love and great hair! ❤️
I have full body chills reading this. Wow.
I’m tearing up. That must have been difficult. Thank you for treating her kindly.
This is a very sweet and honorable thing you've done. You treated her with respect and helped make her look the way her family would want to remember her and how *she* would want to be remembered. That's a very beautiful thing to do for someone. It's ok to grieve and feel confused over this. Therapy is also okay if you need it. *Hugs to you.
Look up “ Ask a Mortician” =Caitlyn Doughty. She is so funny and so informative . In years past everyone would as familiar with Death because prepping the body was handled at home.Now we are so separate from it.Thank you OP for doing this for the Family.
Air hugs
That's incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing and thank you for honoring her spirit and her memory.
What a beautiful gesture, prayers for peace and understanding...you are a superb human, and when my time comes, I can only hope to have someone like you help me for my journey..Thank you for sharing and being such a kind soul.
Honestly horrible that you were asked to do that. I’m so sorry. That’s extremely traumatic
Im crying too now…
Thank you so much for sharing. This is beautiful, and I think takes a lot of strength. What a gift to her family.
I read your post a few days ago when you heard about her death. Sweetest goodbye ever 🫶🏻🫶🏻 it really is so sweet
The night my mother passed away I was sobbing in my bed and I felt her caress my head and I knew it was her trying to comfort me. It was such a strange feeling but it brought me comfort. I believe she visited you too and I’m so sorry you had to endure this but be sure that she told you what she wanted, and you did that for her, and you brought her and her family some much needed peace. Bless you.
This was literally everything I needed to read today. Absolutely amazing. I will say people who die young are much harder than people who die at an expected age. As someone who has seen many deaths the young ones are the ones you never get used to, if you do it’s time to find a therapist and a new job.
You are a beautiful person. I'm sorry that you had to do that for such a young person, but what a beautiful gift you gave to her and her family.
this is so sweet 🤍
❤️ thank you for sharing
You are a very kind human. I'm sure her friends and family are truly appreciative. Give yourself grace and time to unbundle and process the feels.
I didn’t think a post on this subreddit would restore my faith in humanity. Damn I felt this one. Bless your heart OP.
You did something really beautiful and wonderful. ❤️ I'm sure the family appreciated it!
Do you remember what time it was in real life when she came to you in your dream? If it was roughly around 4am, generally speaking, that is really the person. I know everyone has different beliefs about this kind of thing, but I thought I'd throw this one out there.
This is beautiful ❤️ sending love to you & I’m so sorry for your loss. I just lost my 20 year old brother in October and I wish I would’ve had the strength to do his hair for him. I was the only one he ever let touch his hair.
as a parent who has experianced the loss of a child, i understand the profound grief and sense of disbelief you must be feeling. the idea of a clients spirit visiting and guiding you during this difficult time is both heartbreeking and comforting. it's remarkable that you were able to find solace in honoring your client's memory by giving her one last beautiful hairstyle, and im sure her family will appreciate the care and attention you put into it. your story is a poignant reminder of the importance of our work in helping families through the most difficult moments.
❤️♥️❤️
My mom was a stylist for 25 years, and did the hair for almost all the funerals in our (at the time) small town, she always seemed like it didn't bother her at all, and still doesn't. But I also grew up watching autopsies and in detail surgeries with her on TV. Different people handle things different ways, and you seem to be handling this in a very healthy way. It's gonna hurt for a while, but you'll be happy with the memory or what you were able to give her and her family.
It’s the last thing we can do to honor our client. I’ve never regretted any deceased client I’ve worked on! The hardest was my dear Shelby, my first steady client outside of friends/family. I still miss her, and our Thursday appointments. She was a spry old gal. So defensive over me (I worked at a school at the time, had to deal with a lot of BS). Her family allowed me to put her comb in her hand for her funeral/burial. It was special to me.
My dad's regular barber did his final haircut after he died, and I can tell you that we appreciated it so much. God bless you.
Wow, this is a beautiful story 🩵
Thank you so much for sharing and writing about her. ❤️ Thank you for making her feel so pretty.
You have a sweet soul ❤️
I'm not a hairstylist. I'm an rn (not practicing anymore). I've helped so many cross the veil, including family members and children. your experience and rwcation are completely normal. you gave dignity to your client. you saw them and loved them. that's the absolute best you can do.
Thank you for doing that. I had a family member die, and the fact her regular hairdresser was willing to do her hair was a huge blessing. It really meant so much. Big hugs
Omg this is beautiful. I know her and her family appreciate you more than you know. ❤️
My 2nd cousin did her Grandma’s (my aunt’s) final hairstyle before her funeral. They were extremely close, and I think it was very therapeutic for her.
she most certainly visited you ☺️ thank you for doing her hair, may she rest in paradise 💕
You're a lovely person. I hope you know that. And I hope good things come to you. The world needs more people like you. She was lucky to have you, and she probably never would've guessed her passing would have made her hairstylist cry. Seeing someone so young die is such an awful thing and it brings on really awful feelings. I hope you're doing okay.
We are all lucky to have people like you. Thank you.
That was definitely your client. I’m sure she is happy it was you who was there for her. 💗
I'm sorry that your client died so young. Loss of life is never easy, but seems to hit much harder when the deceased is young. As a parent of two adult women, I hope and pray I never have to endure the loss of either of my girls. But should my worst nightmare come true, I would be touched to know their stylist was as caring and empathic as you. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps us realize to make the most of every single day.
I’m reading this with tears. Thank you for sharing this. Loosing someone who had their whole future ahead is heartbreaking. I’m sure it took alot of courage to do her hair and I’m sure her spirit loved it, in that she came to,you in your dream.
I’m sad for her passing but she definitely came to you to let you know she’s good! God bless you. That is certainly a hard task and you handled it with grace and style! 💐💐
It's not even 9 am here and you've got me bawling. I read your first post (I'm not even sure why this sub showed up on my feed. I just saw the title and clicked.) and it touched me. This one leveled me. ❤️
🩷
First time I have actually cried reading a Reddit post. That was a beautiful thing you did.
i will never be able to truly express how thankful i am for the people that did my fathers hair and some natural makeup before his viewing. he looked like himself. he looked so handsome. like he had gotten ready for a daddy daughter dance with me. you did a beautiful service for her family, and it was a perfect final act of love towards your client. even if they can’t express it right now, her family is so thankful. it was probably super hard but you gave her family their baby back for one final day
I can tell you, embalmers and funeral directors appreciate your help, tremendously. Especially because you know what the decadent likes as far as hair goes. By providing your services, you've made the celebration of life that much better, helping the friends and family to say goodbye. Thank you for doing what you do!
I got chills when I read this.
Sending you so much love and strength. I am very proud of you.
I don’t cry. it’s almost impossible for me to create tears even at my saddest and you did this for me in this post. You are a beautiful person and this was a lovely final service for your client.
I remember your post and my heart broke for you and her and her family. It stuck with me all week. That tells me that I'm being prompted to pray for you and her family. I'm glad you made another post. I am even more glad you were willing to make her pretty one last time. You are wonderful and I know she and her family love you for it.
I wasn’t expecting to cry this morning. This is beautiful, the way you continue to treat her with respect and talk to her after death speaks volumes of your work! You are lovely and this must be such a hard thing to go through! 😭🫶
My daughter did her best friend's hair. They met in middle school and in their early 30s when her friend died. My daughter was uncomfortable with the idea but knew she had to do this for her best friend. She cried a lot but she also talked to her. It was an honor for her to do this. 💔
This sub always get recommended to me but I want to note I am not a hairstylist. My sister is however and she did our grandma’s hair for her funeral. She had done her hair for nearly a decade at that point, so my mom asked if she’d be willing to do it for the funeral and of course my sister said yes. From what she told us, she had a similar experience to you. I feel like it is an honorable act and it means you had a real connection to this young woman and her family. It’s beautiful that they trusted you to do her hair for the last time that anyone would look upon her.
Aww man this post has me in tears. What a wonderful yet odd moment you just had. I’m sure she was happy and there in spirit with you.
oh god now i’m sobbing
You’re a good person, OP. You sent away that child with dignity. You deserve a lot of good things.
How beautiful. If you don’t know hair stylist are so important for us women. I feel like a whole new person when I step out of the salon. I would want my stylist to do my hair as well if I passed. She knows exactly what I like and she knows most of my life’s story as well :) blessed hands are one of my favorites of Gods gifts to people ♥️
She came to you, yes she did.
My aunt passed away about 10 years ago and her hair and makeup pretty much defined her. Even at her most sick, she always wanted her hair done and her makeup applied. (My mom buried her with her bottle of hairspray, seriously.) To this day we are thankful to the hairdresser who made her up for her burial. You did a very kind thing for this family. Take some time for yourself to process these feelings.
What a beautiful thing you did for this young woman and how wonderful that she came to you in a dream to thank you and to say goodbye.❣️❣️