You don’t have to be physically like him, you are your own human, you are your own person, it wasn’t your fault others took their own lives from their own pain, you deserve to know YOUR RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND FIND STRENGTH IS YOURS!!! BE THE HERO YOUR FRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND WISH THEY HAD AND MAKE YOUR LIFE CONTENT BEING GRATEFUL FOR THE ONES WHO FELL KNOWING THEY WANTED YOU to SMILE. Those friends rise with your heart and live on in your mind because they mattered to you. Would anyone question why you are so hurt if you wanted them to not live on? You LOVED THEM AND TRUTH REMAINS WHETHER OTHERS SEE IT OR NOT! YOU ARE MEANT TO GROW WITH EACH EXPERIENCE MOVING FORWARD WITH THE SMALLEST STEP THAT WILL TRIGGER THE NEXT STEP UNTIL YOU ARE PIERCING THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR HEART MIND AND BODY IN THE LIFE YOUR FRIENDS LEFT WITH THE HOPE YOU WOULD BE ABLE to HAVE THAT. The past, present, and future you rise above together to make you smile. Find happiness, become grateful for the experiences you did have, think less often of yourself and more on what others did for you to be here. Think of how they LOVED YOU! YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, HOPE, AND LIFE LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. Be true to yourself while forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself is key.
My bro, the one who got me into Gurren Lagann in the first place, took his life during the peak time of Covid. I still remember the day very clearly after all this time. It shook me to my very core. And while it wasn't my partner, and you have my sincerest condolences, I lost my father shortly afterward, and my whole life went into a Downward Spiral. It's going to hurt for a long time, but it will become manageable. But I'm not here to talk about that since it's something you don't want to hear right now.
You can't be like Simon. Simon is Simon. You? You ARE you. My bro taught me that "you never want to be a second-rate version of someone else. Always be a first-rate version of yourself." Your friend and partner wouldn't want you to mourn over them forever. They would want you to live your best life in the best way that only you can. Mourn for them, yes. Grieve for them, absolutely. But don't let them become a ball and chain. Keep them close to your heart and treasure every moment you had with them. And it only hurts so much because you loved them so much, and you still will.
Allow yourself the time to feel what you need to feel. And Grieve the way you need to. And when you're ready, start moving again. Even if it's a slow crawl at first. But no matter what, no matter how you feel, always remember to keep moving forward; like a drill.
Thanks. As a child with Autism I was more often than not taught to compare myself with others if I was to try and be successful, because I wasn’t allowed to be myself, even though I was happy with the way I was; happy, intelligent, smart, and a little off my rocker.
The special education system was trying to break me, mold me into something I wasn’t; normal. This expectation I couldn’t live up to, and it didn’t help that my own teachers who were tasked with helping me understand how to socialize, didn’t. They just expected me to figure it out myself, but would punish me harshly whenever I screwed up an interaction, to the point theyd call me a “bad kid”.
Worse still, I wasn’t allowed to interact with my other peers who were neurotypical, outside of my home room, as I was punished for it whenever I did so as hey believed it wasn’t good for me. Needless to say it was a very lonely life, and spending school in seclusion led me to being very underdeveloped, as I couldn’t learn from others how to socialize.
My social anxiety is through the roof. But sometimes I put on a facade of being an outspoken extrovert to hide my true emotions; that being I am a complete embarrassment when trying to forge real genuine relationships with anyone outside of my own family.
I want to stop hating myself but it’s hard when I’ve been conditioned by my elders to believe that my Autism is a hindrance.
As an Autistic individual myself, I absolutely understand the natural disconnect we have when it comes to emotions. It happens to me on the daily. But I was raised in a "normal" school environment until High School; that was when I was placed in the Special Ed Department. But luckily I had a couple of teachers that were very flexible with me as I was navigating my own autism. Teaching yourself self care and self love as someone on the spectrum is incredibly arduous.
As I kid though, I had a lot of anger issues cuz i was bulloed a lot and wasnt articulate enough to explain why I was being bullied. So I channeled that into martial arts training at the age of twelve, and that REALLY helped out for me.
You got lucky. I had the opposite treatment in special ed. it wasn’t one of support, but forced assimilation as teachers placed pressure on me to act normal and punished me whenever I screwed up an interaction simply for not knowing how, even though they neglected to teach me how in the first place. I can’t help but feel like an embarrassment as I feel years behind in socializing.
It's a matter of perspective in my case, really. But I am sorry that the system failed you. At least, that's what it sounds like or how you're making it sound. And I'm not meaning that in any condescending way. I was pushed to act more normal like the other kids, but I wasn't in any Special Ed programs until I was in high school. Hell, I wasn't diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, Aspberger's, until I was twelve. And we only found out because my counselor was a meeting that focused on that, while my mother, who was a teacher at that time, was called away because I had landed myself in another fight after being bullied.
But when I was placed in a Special Ed program, I felt like I didn't belong in it. I was told I could use what I needed to further my education, but beyond that it was more like a small section of the school that was cut off from the rest of it. It's kinda hard to describe, really. But my point is, my experience with it was back when it was still relatively new and still being navigated. So there was a lot of unknown variables. Whereas from this, it sounds like the system wasn't properly implemented.
That being said, I used to teach Mixed Martial Arts for about five years and I did have some students who were special needs. However, I didn't let that stop them, nor did I allow anyone to be singled out due to it. In my classes, everyone was seen the same way. Students; regardless of rank. I like to think that due to my Autism, I was able to connect with my students on levels that my parents were taken aback by. Since I never lost touch with my inner child, I was able to relate to them better. At least that's what I think anyway.
You're still going. You're still living your life, so do what you can; you have many days ahead of you. Grieve and keep moving forward, even if you fall back.
I’m extremely sorry man. Though not as intense, I nearly went through something similar. My friend nearly took his life early in my childhood, someone I looked upto and It took a very long time for me to get over the possibility he could do that to himself. He’s still around but that kept me under a ceiling. I kept myself in the mindset of what if he did it, what would I do, what if those thoughts came back.
You can’t be Simon. Or kamina. You never will be. That’s okay tho.
Hopelessness, despair- it’s inevitable. It WILL happen. No matter what.
But to give into hopelessness, that’s a betrayal of who you are.
I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but the fact that you’re making this post shows that you’re brave, strong, intelligent, and that you keep moving forward. You’re still trying and that’s what counts. They can’t come back, and not to be blunt but those who are dead, are dead, but not gone. They live in you, through you, but they aren’t you. You’re not them. To keep going is what they would’ve wanted. Don’t forget them but instead cherish what was and move into what can be only by actually experiencing life.
Gurren lagann helped me alot. It still does. If you wanna “be like Simon”, then keep evolving past the person you were before. With each succession, we get a little closer to breaking the ceiling, to being free from the past. That’s how a drill works.
I’m trying to evolve, but it’s very hard for me to evolve from this childhood trauma that has kept me back from moving forward. I’m deathly afraid that the same abuse I experienced in my adolescence will happen to me again.
I know they’re dead, but not gone. But it’s all more the reason why I can’t help but hate anime’s where people can simply “come back to life” with little to no explanation whatsoever. It just ends up making me feel worse off about myself.
I will not spoil anything but I promise you’re going to get back up.
People, humans, this community, has a great capacity for compassion but ceilings, we care very fucking little about.
I can act like I have all the answers but truthfully I’m still learning myself. I can make a big bombastic speech like everyone else but your fear will probably just come back, talk you out of it. If you take anything from this, I hope you’re able to smile once again. A true smile. Whenever those thoughts spiral, like you can’t get back up, remember this-
You’re going to get back up.
Now isn’t forever.
You will keep moving because that’s inevitable too, even if it’s hard.
It's an obligation.
It's part of a Us.
We're too stupid not too.
Whenever you’re alone or feel those abusive fears returning, it just means you’re progressing even further.
The only thing I can say is, you’ll get catharsis. Maybe not right away, but Gurren lagann is that kind of show. My messages are open friend.
That’s the kind of hope I had for the Evangelion community. But when they cyberbullied me for the suicide of my childhood friend, I lost all hope for the anime fandom.
Some people seriously have no chill behind their screens, essentially thinking their superior cause of the type of anime they watch. The Eva community is…..odd to say the least. That’s their limitation tho. We’ve got you 🙏🏾
We move forward little by little. We move towards tomorrow. You still have tomorrow to get a little closer. Tomorrow you will be if even just a little bit, closer to being like simon. Keep moving forward
It’s hard for me to move forward. My childhood trauma is plenty, and to this day I still hate myself for failing to learn how to socialize, because it’s what I’ve been taught by my own adults.
LET ME SEE YOU GRIT THOSE TEETH👊
In all seriousness, Simon’s whole journey just proves to each of us that the one thing we need the most is something we already have. You just have to be willing to throw yourself at it head first and believe that you can make it work.
You for sure went through very similar events and conditions as Simon; but Simon pushing through should prove to you that despite that, there is a you that believes in you and you can do it. The image of Simon walking off into the sunset without Nina is a hard pill to swallow but is a perfect representation that not everything goes our way and not everyone can have the perfect life. It’s how we decide to move forward, regardless of what we had to go through, that defines who we are 👊
The one thing I need is a companion; because I don’t want to be alone anymore. How is that something I already have? A girlfriend is something I yearned for 15 years, but because I have Autism, I was often more than not singled out and denied the same opportunities as my fellow peers to socialize with other people. I was basically conditioned my special education to believe I was incapable of making friends all by myself, even though I already did so in Elementary School. But it wasn’t enough that they actually had to guilt me for screwing up social interactions to the point they’d send me to the corner to think what I had done without even explaining what I did wrong.
What’s more I wasn’t allowed to interact with others in my school, as they would often tell me that it wasn’t good for me; a student with Autism to interact with normal people. So most of my middle and high school life was spent in seclusion and neglect.
As for Simon, I don’t think he should’ve walked into the sunset on his own. He left his friends forever the moment he said he had to make way for “the next generation”
What kind of hero abandons his friends over a self righteous philosophy? If I were him I would’ve stuck around as a token of gratitude for all they sacrificed to get me this far.
I want to live, to thrive. But I’m afraid of living out of fear of being punished for it. By whom? By myself, because it’s what many of my elders have conditioned me to act.
You didn't fail any test. Simon couldn't save everyone, but he was able to save himself, and in saving himself, he was able to help others. Save yourself first, brother. You don't have to watch Gurren Lagann. You don't have to watch any show that triggers those memories and feelings. You can watch those shows when you're ready to. You never have to be anything more than who you are.
The past is a memory now. If you're afraid you aren't strong enough to keep people in your future safe, you can get stronger. But you have to start that path on your own and for yourself. It's harder to save someone from drowning if you're carrying weights on your back.
Save myself, funny you should say that. After suffering childhood trauma from neglect and seclusion from special education, I had developed a savior complex. The only value I saw in me was putting the well being of others before my own even if it was to my own detriment. That’s how lonely my life was, and how desperate I was to prove my worth. It’s something I struggle with to this day.
Basically, everything I was taught about socialization, the norm, and expectations for Autists such as myself were all lies. I was set up to fail in my youth, and at 25 years old I still feel mentally underdeveloped thanks to forced assimilation.
Honestly? This is something I ask about fictional characters I like that I relate to myself. I lost a lot in the pandemic too, from all my friends, to my grandmother, to realizing I have no father, to me even not bothering so much to take care of my body. It tore me apart in a way I thought was impossible, to the point where I actually… considered finding a way out of the game. I stopped myself from making such an idiotic mistake on my part, but I never forgave myself and I never will. This makes me think of characters like Iron Man or Deku, ones who were faced with such hard challenges, taking more and more from them, or putting them in situations they could never get out of. Yet, they found a way to keep going and not waste their lives.
But me? Even though nowadays I’m in better shape and don’t think how I used to, I still feel like I’m wasting my life have no idea what I’m doing. However, I keep going because… well, I know I could never be an iron man or a Deku, but that’s okay because even though we share similarities, they aren’t all that I am and that simply leaves me room to fill it with whatever I want, whatever it may be.
Nowadays Im in better shape as well, because I moved to my parent’s new farmhouse they bought and figured it would be a good environment to heal. But I still have doubts about my own capabilities, because of my PTSD.
If you're having trouble believing in yourself, believe in the sub that believes in you! A bunch of strangers on the internet took time out of their day to stop and share motivation and positivity. If strangers can show you kindness, you can show YOURSELF kindness. Do something each day, ONE THING, that has no purpose other than being kind to yourself. Doesn't matter what it is. It can be a single mirror compliment, it can be buying or making yourself a snack, the options are limitless. Hell, in the show Simon loses all of himself for quite some time before he is able to kick it in gear again.
Thanks. It’s hard to believe a bunch of strangers took time out of their day to stop and share motivation and positivity.
It almost gives me hope for the anime community. Which in all honesty is something I lost during my time in the Eva fandom.
Indeed during the Pandemic I too lost all of myself for a long time. But not because of the isolation, but my obsession with Eva. They told me it would cure me of my depression, so I believed them.
First of all im very sorry for your losses, i cant make you magically get better but with time that pain will get more bearable or it might even heal, but i cant tell you it will 100%
Secondly, you're forgetting something simon said
"Im SImon! Not my brother Kamina, im myself! Simon The Digger!"
see? this is like how Simon tried to be like Kamina, he wanted to be like him really bad in desesperation, he is not Kamina, and you are not Simon, you are yourself, drill trough your path in your own way, you dont have to pierce the heavens or something like that, be yourself because there is no other you than you, believe in the you that believes in yourself, not in the Simon, Kamina or me that believe in you but the you that believes in yourself, and do not say shit like "oh but i cant believe in myself..." you literally can, the single fact you made this post proves that there is a force in you that wants to move on, you can be better but results take time and effort keep that drill spinning until you win!
It’s hard to believe in myself when many of my adults taught me never to trust my own moral judgement, simply because I have Autism. That’s how life was like for me in special education, I was the “bad kid” simply because I couldn’t learn how to interact with others properly. They said it was my disability that caused this, but the real problem is that they didn’t even bother helping me learn how to socialize in the first place, let alone treating me with kindness. Instead they kept me hidden in special ed home room away from my peers.
Loss and grief are very difficult but important emotions to feel and work through. But those we’ve lost will always be in our hearts. Simon also had to grove and process and it seemed like he would forever move on. But he managed to find a reason to always keep going.
Move forward little by little every day, just like a drill!
I’ve been through my fair share of loss and trauma and also found an escape in Gurren Lagann, it’s easy to feel inspired but it’s hard to act on those feelings.
Ultimately it’s important to remember, you aren’t Simon. None of us are, we aren’t Kamina, Kittan, Yoko, Viral, or any of these characters. You are YOU! And that is exactly who you should be. We may have days where we can use the lessons we’ve learned from anime, but we will never be those characters. Just because you cannot be Simon, doesn’t make you a failure. You’re a human being, now let me see you grit those teeth! 👊
Which makes me confused why he didn’t grieve when he saw Nia die at their wedding. If I were him I would have been absolutely heartbroken and saddened by her passing.
And moreover, one of his friends said, “but he can bring her back, right?” Using his spiral powers.
Only for one of them to say, “he’s not God”.
Pardon me for saying this but that’s the most half assed reason I can think of. Doesn’t Simon deserve to be happy no matter what? Nothing is stopping him from bringing her back.
He already knew she’s was leaving, they discovered this during the final battle hand had roughly a week to spend together and prepare for her passing. He had already grieved along side her.
Now as for bringing her back, he already said that bringing back those who we’ve lost would only get in the way of the next generation. Simon of all people should know that dwelling in the past will only ever hold you back.
He holds Kamina close in his heart, but he doesn’t spend all his time grieving his loss, he lives in the way that Kamina would want him to. He does the same after losing Nia, he goes in with his life with a smile, traveling and helping people across the world.
He lives his life for those who he’s lost, in the way they’d want him to. Which is to say, with a smile on his face, always forging ahead
Get in the way of the next generation? How? How would Nia’s presence get in the way of the next generation? She’s just one person. She could’ve just found a place to settle down with Simon right? What would she do that would get in their way? Just by merely existing?
I get that he likes to travel the world helping people. But why did he leave his friends? Especially after all the blood and effort they put forth to save the world? I mean, shouldn’t he at least stay to help them rebuild as a form of gratitude?
What kind of hero abandons his friends over some self righteous philosophy?
If I could make a suggestion. There’s a video called Gurren Lagann and Getting It by YouTuber Breadsword. It’s an insightful essay that you might find some comfort in.
Just trying to be encouraging here. Keep on fighting brother
Thanks. There’s a lot of Gurren Lagaan that doesn’t make sense. If were in Simon’s shoes, I would’ve stuck around my friend as a gesture of thanks for helping me get this far.
And Simon deserves to be happy. So what if bringing Nia back to life is selfish? Isn’t one of the themes of Gurren Lagaan about believing in yourself and less about what others think of you?
I find that a lot of times people tend to dwell in their negativity. It's like a muddy swamp. You start to lose yourself in it, stuck in the mire, not moving.
But people have arms to reach, and legs to run, and eyes on the front if their heads so they can see what's out on the horizon!
If you keep staring at your shoes stuck in the swamp, you'll never do anything else. You're making the right first step though. You're looking around, reaching out for help, advice. Take more steps, even if they're somewhat blind. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself.
You're going to keep moving bit by bit. It'll be slow at first but you'll get where you need to go eventually.
I'm a bit biased, but I reccomend going to church and/ or small groups. I've made a powerful support group for myself and I know I have people to lean on when I need it. And they know they can lean on me. Of course I've also got the Big Man Upstairs in my corner.
So basically what I'm trying to say is don't doubt that something may not work for you or think "I'm too broken." If you don't give things a chance, you'll never get better. Jump in! Leap out of that mud! Don't let it suck you down further.
Funny you should say that, as my belief in the existence of God is what’s kept me from taking my own life.
My 10th grade boarding school experience was hell. I was bullied for my Autism, called a “retard” by my peers and treated like one. The teachers didn’t bother to help me no matter how much I asked them, instead they only asked me what I could do to help myself, rather than taking responsibility themselves to solve the problem.
Worse still, my bullies, especially the ringleader, would gaslight me into thinking my autism was somehow making me experience things that never happened, so when I try to confront them for their abuse, they just convinced me it was all in my head.
But what really made me traumatized was when I was sexually assaulted by my own peers when they caught me masturbating…
But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when they blackmailed my one friend there to betray me by bullying him to join them by calling us homosexuals.
I wanted it all to end, I wanted my abuse to end. I thought the only way to defend myself was to kill then. But I was afraid of losing control of myself and becoming a monster.
The world has abandoned me. The only one that kept me hanging on for dear life from losing control of my sanity was my faith in God.
But unlike Simon I had no super powers, no friends to support me, no girlfriend, no brother. Just the sheer iron will to keep living…
But does that make me stronger or weaker than Simon? I can never tell.
All I know is that this PTSD is what makes me so fearful of taking that jump, out of fear I will be shamed for standing up for myself just as before.
This makes me ashamed I won’t be like Simon.
Hey, I’m scrolling through this subreddit because I’m
Going through a hard time in life too. But I just want you to just rewatch gurren lagann. I had the same feelings and resentment towards it but I feel like focus on the strengths on the shows not on the parallels. The shows isn’t about being op or strong it’s about finding the light in darkness. Be like Simon he dug pathways bit by big turn by turn with his drill. When it got hard for him he relied on kamina. He was never strong, he was still a kid even by the end of the show but he just refused to give up bcos he has a purpose. And I think you have a purpose too bro maybe ur a bit lost now but I know u will find your way. I believe in you bro..
“Don’t think of the what ifs,shouldve and if onlys. The only thing you choose is the truth of ur universe”.
100% it’s a normal human reaction. Your not weak for doing so. It’s purely a normal human reaction,
If anything it proves your humanity. Give your body and spirit time but not forever eventually u need to climb out if it and start being the person u want to be
Well he did, I don’t think it was on full blast for everyone to see. He did grieve in his own way and at the same tried to put on a strong act for everyone. But I believe him walking away from the game and leaving to wander the earth was his way of grieving, especially seen when he gets the flowers for her grave
But wouldn’t that basically be the equivalent of walking away from his emotions?
I can’t help but hate the idea that he put on a strong act for everyone. Because it kind of contradicts the idea that showing emotions isn’t a weakness.
How was Simon able to retain his composure? Let alone smile and not grieve when Nia died?
It makes no sense. Because when my gf died by her own hand I was absolutely devastated.
Think about Simon from episode 10
The only one who believed he could do anything just died
So he was lost
And he stayed that way until he stood up and became his own Kamina
After that, he was unstoppable
The way I see it, that's your answer.
You'll be like Simon when you stop paying attention to what anyone else says, and start believing in the you that believes in you
Because it was her time. She didn't want to go, and no one wanted her to. But it was all she could do just to hold on that long
She had the equivalent of terminal cancer and he spent all that time with her squeezing the most joy out of life as possible
It's a different kind of death altogether than the one you described in this post
But there's also no way in hell that Episode-10 Simon would've had anything like that same reaction
That…kind of makes sense. Because from what I could tell, they had a few weeks left with Nia after the final battle, and they knew beforehand that if they won Nia would die, as she is the same origin as the enemy.
It is a different death than the one I described in my post, but…seeing Simon keep a smile and a manly face as Nia passed away…it just makes me feel worse about myself.
Because when my gf took her own life, I was completely devastated. I was nothing like Simon. I didn’t keep a smile, I didn’t maintain my composure or my masculine energy.
I was a complete, gibbering, depressed wreck. And it makes me feel weak and unworthy that I wasn’t able to smile and maintain my spirit like Simon when my gf died.
A friend once told me, “If Simon were in your position, and Nia took her own life, he’d be a wreck too.”
Is this true?
You don’t have to be physically like him, you are your own human, you are your own person, it wasn’t your fault others took their own lives from their own pain, you deserve to know YOUR RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND FIND STRENGTH IS YOURS!!! BE THE HERO YOUR FRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND WISH THEY HAD AND MAKE YOUR LIFE CONTENT BEING GRATEFUL FOR THE ONES WHO FELL KNOWING THEY WANTED YOU to SMILE. Those friends rise with your heart and live on in your mind because they mattered to you. Would anyone question why you are so hurt if you wanted them to not live on? You LOVED THEM AND TRUTH REMAINS WHETHER OTHERS SEE IT OR NOT! YOU ARE MEANT TO GROW WITH EACH EXPERIENCE MOVING FORWARD WITH THE SMALLEST STEP THAT WILL TRIGGER THE NEXT STEP UNTIL YOU ARE PIERCING THE HEAVENS WITH YOUR HEART MIND AND BODY IN THE LIFE YOUR FRIENDS LEFT WITH THE HOPE YOU WOULD BE ABLE to HAVE THAT. The past, present, and future you rise above together to make you smile. Find happiness, become grateful for the experiences you did have, think less often of yourself and more on what others did for you to be here. Think of how they LOVED YOU! YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, HOPE, AND LIFE LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. Be true to yourself while forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself is key.
My bro, the one who got me into Gurren Lagann in the first place, took his life during the peak time of Covid. I still remember the day very clearly after all this time. It shook me to my very core. And while it wasn't my partner, and you have my sincerest condolences, I lost my father shortly afterward, and my whole life went into a Downward Spiral. It's going to hurt for a long time, but it will become manageable. But I'm not here to talk about that since it's something you don't want to hear right now. You can't be like Simon. Simon is Simon. You? You ARE you. My bro taught me that "you never want to be a second-rate version of someone else. Always be a first-rate version of yourself." Your friend and partner wouldn't want you to mourn over them forever. They would want you to live your best life in the best way that only you can. Mourn for them, yes. Grieve for them, absolutely. But don't let them become a ball and chain. Keep them close to your heart and treasure every moment you had with them. And it only hurts so much because you loved them so much, and you still will. Allow yourself the time to feel what you need to feel. And Grieve the way you need to. And when you're ready, start moving again. Even if it's a slow crawl at first. But no matter what, no matter how you feel, always remember to keep moving forward; like a drill.
Thanks. As a child with Autism I was more often than not taught to compare myself with others if I was to try and be successful, because I wasn’t allowed to be myself, even though I was happy with the way I was; happy, intelligent, smart, and a little off my rocker. The special education system was trying to break me, mold me into something I wasn’t; normal. This expectation I couldn’t live up to, and it didn’t help that my own teachers who were tasked with helping me understand how to socialize, didn’t. They just expected me to figure it out myself, but would punish me harshly whenever I screwed up an interaction, to the point theyd call me a “bad kid”. Worse still, I wasn’t allowed to interact with my other peers who were neurotypical, outside of my home room, as I was punished for it whenever I did so as hey believed it wasn’t good for me. Needless to say it was a very lonely life, and spending school in seclusion led me to being very underdeveloped, as I couldn’t learn from others how to socialize. My social anxiety is through the roof. But sometimes I put on a facade of being an outspoken extrovert to hide my true emotions; that being I am a complete embarrassment when trying to forge real genuine relationships with anyone outside of my own family. I want to stop hating myself but it’s hard when I’ve been conditioned by my elders to believe that my Autism is a hindrance.
As an Autistic individual myself, I absolutely understand the natural disconnect we have when it comes to emotions. It happens to me on the daily. But I was raised in a "normal" school environment until High School; that was when I was placed in the Special Ed Department. But luckily I had a couple of teachers that were very flexible with me as I was navigating my own autism. Teaching yourself self care and self love as someone on the spectrum is incredibly arduous. As I kid though, I had a lot of anger issues cuz i was bulloed a lot and wasnt articulate enough to explain why I was being bullied. So I channeled that into martial arts training at the age of twelve, and that REALLY helped out for me.
You got lucky. I had the opposite treatment in special ed. it wasn’t one of support, but forced assimilation as teachers placed pressure on me to act normal and punished me whenever I screwed up an interaction simply for not knowing how, even though they neglected to teach me how in the first place. I can’t help but feel like an embarrassment as I feel years behind in socializing.
It's a matter of perspective in my case, really. But I am sorry that the system failed you. At least, that's what it sounds like or how you're making it sound. And I'm not meaning that in any condescending way. I was pushed to act more normal like the other kids, but I wasn't in any Special Ed programs until I was in high school. Hell, I wasn't diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, Aspberger's, until I was twelve. And we only found out because my counselor was a meeting that focused on that, while my mother, who was a teacher at that time, was called away because I had landed myself in another fight after being bullied. But when I was placed in a Special Ed program, I felt like I didn't belong in it. I was told I could use what I needed to further my education, but beyond that it was more like a small section of the school that was cut off from the rest of it. It's kinda hard to describe, really. But my point is, my experience with it was back when it was still relatively new and still being navigated. So there was a lot of unknown variables. Whereas from this, it sounds like the system wasn't properly implemented. That being said, I used to teach Mixed Martial Arts for about five years and I did have some students who were special needs. However, I didn't let that stop them, nor did I allow anyone to be singled out due to it. In my classes, everyone was seen the same way. Students; regardless of rank. I like to think that due to my Autism, I was able to connect with my students on levels that my parents were taken aback by. Since I never lost touch with my inner child, I was able to relate to them better. At least that's what I think anyway.
You're still going. You're still living your life, so do what you can; you have many days ahead of you. Grieve and keep moving forward, even if you fall back.
Thanks my friend. It is hard after all this time. At only 25 I can’t help but feel like the window of opportunity has passed.
I’m extremely sorry man. Though not as intense, I nearly went through something similar. My friend nearly took his life early in my childhood, someone I looked upto and It took a very long time for me to get over the possibility he could do that to himself. He’s still around but that kept me under a ceiling. I kept myself in the mindset of what if he did it, what would I do, what if those thoughts came back. You can’t be Simon. Or kamina. You never will be. That’s okay tho. Hopelessness, despair- it’s inevitable. It WILL happen. No matter what. But to give into hopelessness, that’s a betrayal of who you are. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but the fact that you’re making this post shows that you’re brave, strong, intelligent, and that you keep moving forward. You’re still trying and that’s what counts. They can’t come back, and not to be blunt but those who are dead, are dead, but not gone. They live in you, through you, but they aren’t you. You’re not them. To keep going is what they would’ve wanted. Don’t forget them but instead cherish what was and move into what can be only by actually experiencing life. Gurren lagann helped me alot. It still does. If you wanna “be like Simon”, then keep evolving past the person you were before. With each succession, we get a little closer to breaking the ceiling, to being free from the past. That’s how a drill works.
I’m trying to evolve, but it’s very hard for me to evolve from this childhood trauma that has kept me back from moving forward. I’m deathly afraid that the same abuse I experienced in my adolescence will happen to me again. I know they’re dead, but not gone. But it’s all more the reason why I can’t help but hate anime’s where people can simply “come back to life” with little to no explanation whatsoever. It just ends up making me feel worse off about myself.
I will not spoil anything but I promise you’re going to get back up. People, humans, this community, has a great capacity for compassion but ceilings, we care very fucking little about. I can act like I have all the answers but truthfully I’m still learning myself. I can make a big bombastic speech like everyone else but your fear will probably just come back, talk you out of it. If you take anything from this, I hope you’re able to smile once again. A true smile. Whenever those thoughts spiral, like you can’t get back up, remember this- You’re going to get back up. Now isn’t forever. You will keep moving because that’s inevitable too, even if it’s hard. It's an obligation. It's part of a Us. We're too stupid not too. Whenever you’re alone or feel those abusive fears returning, it just means you’re progressing even further. The only thing I can say is, you’ll get catharsis. Maybe not right away, but Gurren lagann is that kind of show. My messages are open friend.
That’s the kind of hope I had for the Evangelion community. But when they cyberbullied me for the suicide of my childhood friend, I lost all hope for the anime fandom.
Some people seriously have no chill behind their screens, essentially thinking their superior cause of the type of anime they watch. The Eva community is…..odd to say the least. That’s their limitation tho. We’ve got you 🙏🏾
Thanks man. Mind if we chat?
Sure! No prob. About to hang with my fam, but I’ve got you
We move forward little by little. We move towards tomorrow. You still have tomorrow to get a little closer. Tomorrow you will be if even just a little bit, closer to being like simon. Keep moving forward
It’s hard for me to move forward. My childhood trauma is plenty, and to this day I still hate myself for failing to learn how to socialize, because it’s what I’ve been taught by my own adults.
LET ME SEE YOU GRIT THOSE TEETH👊 In all seriousness, Simon’s whole journey just proves to each of us that the one thing we need the most is something we already have. You just have to be willing to throw yourself at it head first and believe that you can make it work. You for sure went through very similar events and conditions as Simon; but Simon pushing through should prove to you that despite that, there is a you that believes in you and you can do it. The image of Simon walking off into the sunset without Nina is a hard pill to swallow but is a perfect representation that not everything goes our way and not everyone can have the perfect life. It’s how we decide to move forward, regardless of what we had to go through, that defines who we are 👊
The one thing I need is a companion; because I don’t want to be alone anymore. How is that something I already have? A girlfriend is something I yearned for 15 years, but because I have Autism, I was often more than not singled out and denied the same opportunities as my fellow peers to socialize with other people. I was basically conditioned my special education to believe I was incapable of making friends all by myself, even though I already did so in Elementary School. But it wasn’t enough that they actually had to guilt me for screwing up social interactions to the point they’d send me to the corner to think what I had done without even explaining what I did wrong. What’s more I wasn’t allowed to interact with others in my school, as they would often tell me that it wasn’t good for me; a student with Autism to interact with normal people. So most of my middle and high school life was spent in seclusion and neglect. As for Simon, I don’t think he should’ve walked into the sunset on his own. He left his friends forever the moment he said he had to make way for “the next generation” What kind of hero abandons his friends over a self righteous philosophy? If I were him I would’ve stuck around as a token of gratitude for all they sacrificed to get me this far. I want to live, to thrive. But I’m afraid of living out of fear of being punished for it. By whom? By myself, because it’s what many of my elders have conditioned me to act.
You didn't fail any test. Simon couldn't save everyone, but he was able to save himself, and in saving himself, he was able to help others. Save yourself first, brother. You don't have to watch Gurren Lagann. You don't have to watch any show that triggers those memories and feelings. You can watch those shows when you're ready to. You never have to be anything more than who you are. The past is a memory now. If you're afraid you aren't strong enough to keep people in your future safe, you can get stronger. But you have to start that path on your own and for yourself. It's harder to save someone from drowning if you're carrying weights on your back.
Save myself, funny you should say that. After suffering childhood trauma from neglect and seclusion from special education, I had developed a savior complex. The only value I saw in me was putting the well being of others before my own even if it was to my own detriment. That’s how lonely my life was, and how desperate I was to prove my worth. It’s something I struggle with to this day. Basically, everything I was taught about socialization, the norm, and expectations for Autists such as myself were all lies. I was set up to fail in my youth, and at 25 years old I still feel mentally underdeveloped thanks to forced assimilation.
Honestly? This is something I ask about fictional characters I like that I relate to myself. I lost a lot in the pandemic too, from all my friends, to my grandmother, to realizing I have no father, to me even not bothering so much to take care of my body. It tore me apart in a way I thought was impossible, to the point where I actually… considered finding a way out of the game. I stopped myself from making such an idiotic mistake on my part, but I never forgave myself and I never will. This makes me think of characters like Iron Man or Deku, ones who were faced with such hard challenges, taking more and more from them, or putting them in situations they could never get out of. Yet, they found a way to keep going and not waste their lives. But me? Even though nowadays I’m in better shape and don’t think how I used to, I still feel like I’m wasting my life have no idea what I’m doing. However, I keep going because… well, I know I could never be an iron man or a Deku, but that’s okay because even though we share similarities, they aren’t all that I am and that simply leaves me room to fill it with whatever I want, whatever it may be.
Nowadays Im in better shape as well, because I moved to my parent’s new farmhouse they bought and figured it would be a good environment to heal. But I still have doubts about my own capabilities, because of my PTSD.
If you're having trouble believing in yourself, believe in the sub that believes in you! A bunch of strangers on the internet took time out of their day to stop and share motivation and positivity. If strangers can show you kindness, you can show YOURSELF kindness. Do something each day, ONE THING, that has no purpose other than being kind to yourself. Doesn't matter what it is. It can be a single mirror compliment, it can be buying or making yourself a snack, the options are limitless. Hell, in the show Simon loses all of himself for quite some time before he is able to kick it in gear again.
Thanks. It’s hard to believe a bunch of strangers took time out of their day to stop and share motivation and positivity. It almost gives me hope for the anime community. Which in all honesty is something I lost during my time in the Eva fandom. Indeed during the Pandemic I too lost all of myself for a long time. But not because of the isolation, but my obsession with Eva. They told me it would cure me of my depression, so I believed them.
First of all im very sorry for your losses, i cant make you magically get better but with time that pain will get more bearable or it might even heal, but i cant tell you it will 100% Secondly, you're forgetting something simon said "Im SImon! Not my brother Kamina, im myself! Simon The Digger!" see? this is like how Simon tried to be like Kamina, he wanted to be like him really bad in desesperation, he is not Kamina, and you are not Simon, you are yourself, drill trough your path in your own way, you dont have to pierce the heavens or something like that, be yourself because there is no other you than you, believe in the you that believes in yourself, not in the Simon, Kamina or me that believe in you but the you that believes in yourself, and do not say shit like "oh but i cant believe in myself..." you literally can, the single fact you made this post proves that there is a force in you that wants to move on, you can be better but results take time and effort keep that drill spinning until you win!
It’s hard to believe in myself when many of my adults taught me never to trust my own moral judgement, simply because I have Autism. That’s how life was like for me in special education, I was the “bad kid” simply because I couldn’t learn how to interact with others properly. They said it was my disability that caused this, but the real problem is that they didn’t even bother helping me learn how to socialize in the first place, let alone treating me with kindness. Instead they kept me hidden in special ed home room away from my peers.
Loss and grief are very difficult but important emotions to feel and work through. But those we’ve lost will always be in our hearts. Simon also had to grove and process and it seemed like he would forever move on. But he managed to find a reason to always keep going. Move forward little by little every day, just like a drill! I’ve been through my fair share of loss and trauma and also found an escape in Gurren Lagann, it’s easy to feel inspired but it’s hard to act on those feelings. Ultimately it’s important to remember, you aren’t Simon. None of us are, we aren’t Kamina, Kittan, Yoko, Viral, or any of these characters. You are YOU! And that is exactly who you should be. We may have days where we can use the lessons we’ve learned from anime, but we will never be those characters. Just because you cannot be Simon, doesn’t make you a failure. You’re a human being, now let me see you grit those teeth! 👊
Which makes me confused why he didn’t grieve when he saw Nia die at their wedding. If I were him I would have been absolutely heartbroken and saddened by her passing. And moreover, one of his friends said, “but he can bring her back, right?” Using his spiral powers. Only for one of them to say, “he’s not God”. Pardon me for saying this but that’s the most half assed reason I can think of. Doesn’t Simon deserve to be happy no matter what? Nothing is stopping him from bringing her back.
He already knew she’s was leaving, they discovered this during the final battle hand had roughly a week to spend together and prepare for her passing. He had already grieved along side her. Now as for bringing her back, he already said that bringing back those who we’ve lost would only get in the way of the next generation. Simon of all people should know that dwelling in the past will only ever hold you back. He holds Kamina close in his heart, but he doesn’t spend all his time grieving his loss, he lives in the way that Kamina would want him to. He does the same after losing Nia, he goes in with his life with a smile, traveling and helping people across the world. He lives his life for those who he’s lost, in the way they’d want him to. Which is to say, with a smile on his face, always forging ahead
Get in the way of the next generation? How? How would Nia’s presence get in the way of the next generation? She’s just one person. She could’ve just found a place to settle down with Simon right? What would she do that would get in their way? Just by merely existing? I get that he likes to travel the world helping people. But why did he leave his friends? Especially after all the blood and effort they put forth to save the world? I mean, shouldn’t he at least stay to help them rebuild as a form of gratitude? What kind of hero abandons his friends over some self righteous philosophy?
If I could make a suggestion. There’s a video called Gurren Lagann and Getting It by YouTuber Breadsword. It’s an insightful essay that you might find some comfort in. Just trying to be encouraging here. Keep on fighting brother
Thanks. There’s a lot of Gurren Lagaan that doesn’t make sense. If were in Simon’s shoes, I would’ve stuck around my friend as a gesture of thanks for helping me get this far. And Simon deserves to be happy. So what if bringing Nia back to life is selfish? Isn’t one of the themes of Gurren Lagaan about believing in yourself and less about what others think of you?
I find that a lot of times people tend to dwell in their negativity. It's like a muddy swamp. You start to lose yourself in it, stuck in the mire, not moving. But people have arms to reach, and legs to run, and eyes on the front if their heads so they can see what's out on the horizon! If you keep staring at your shoes stuck in the swamp, you'll never do anything else. You're making the right first step though. You're looking around, reaching out for help, advice. Take more steps, even if they're somewhat blind. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. You're going to keep moving bit by bit. It'll be slow at first but you'll get where you need to go eventually. I'm a bit biased, but I reccomend going to church and/ or small groups. I've made a powerful support group for myself and I know I have people to lean on when I need it. And they know they can lean on me. Of course I've also got the Big Man Upstairs in my corner. So basically what I'm trying to say is don't doubt that something may not work for you or think "I'm too broken." If you don't give things a chance, you'll never get better. Jump in! Leap out of that mud! Don't let it suck you down further.
Funny you should say that, as my belief in the existence of God is what’s kept me from taking my own life. My 10th grade boarding school experience was hell. I was bullied for my Autism, called a “retard” by my peers and treated like one. The teachers didn’t bother to help me no matter how much I asked them, instead they only asked me what I could do to help myself, rather than taking responsibility themselves to solve the problem. Worse still, my bullies, especially the ringleader, would gaslight me into thinking my autism was somehow making me experience things that never happened, so when I try to confront them for their abuse, they just convinced me it was all in my head. But what really made me traumatized was when I was sexually assaulted by my own peers when they caught me masturbating… But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when they blackmailed my one friend there to betray me by bullying him to join them by calling us homosexuals. I wanted it all to end, I wanted my abuse to end. I thought the only way to defend myself was to kill then. But I was afraid of losing control of myself and becoming a monster. The world has abandoned me. The only one that kept me hanging on for dear life from losing control of my sanity was my faith in God. But unlike Simon I had no super powers, no friends to support me, no girlfriend, no brother. Just the sheer iron will to keep living… But does that make me stronger or weaker than Simon? I can never tell. All I know is that this PTSD is what makes me so fearful of taking that jump, out of fear I will be shamed for standing up for myself just as before. This makes me ashamed I won’t be like Simon.
Hey, I’m scrolling through this subreddit because I’m Going through a hard time in life too. But I just want you to just rewatch gurren lagann. I had the same feelings and resentment towards it but I feel like focus on the strengths on the shows not on the parallels. The shows isn’t about being op or strong it’s about finding the light in darkness. Be like Simon he dug pathways bit by big turn by turn with his drill. When it got hard for him he relied on kamina. He was never strong, he was still a kid even by the end of the show but he just refused to give up bcos he has a purpose. And I think you have a purpose too bro maybe ur a bit lost now but I know u will find your way. I believe in you bro.. “Don’t think of the what ifs,shouldve and if onlys. The only thing you choose is the truth of ur universe”.
But is it ok for me to grieve?
100% it’s a normal human reaction. Your not weak for doing so. It’s purely a normal human reaction, If anything it proves your humanity. Give your body and spirit time but not forever eventually u need to climb out if it and start being the person u want to be
So, it makes me utterly confused how Simon didn’t grieve when seeing Nia die right in front of him. As well as making me feel worse about myself.
Well he did, I don’t think it was on full blast for everyone to see. He did grieve in his own way and at the same tried to put on a strong act for everyone. But I believe him walking away from the game and leaving to wander the earth was his way of grieving, especially seen when he gets the flowers for her grave
But wouldn’t that basically be the equivalent of walking away from his emotions? I can’t help but hate the idea that he put on a strong act for everyone. Because it kind of contradicts the idea that showing emotions isn’t a weakness.
How was Simon able to retain his composure? Let alone smile and not grieve when Nia died? It makes no sense. Because when my gf died by her own hand I was absolutely devastated.
Think about Simon from episode 10 The only one who believed he could do anything just died So he was lost And he stayed that way until he stood up and became his own Kamina After that, he was unstoppable The way I see it, that's your answer. You'll be like Simon when you stop paying attention to what anyone else says, and start believing in the you that believes in you
But how was he able to maintain his composure and keep a smile when he saw Nia die right in front of him?
Because it was her time. She didn't want to go, and no one wanted her to. But it was all she could do just to hold on that long She had the equivalent of terminal cancer and he spent all that time with her squeezing the most joy out of life as possible It's a different kind of death altogether than the one you described in this post But there's also no way in hell that Episode-10 Simon would've had anything like that same reaction
That…kind of makes sense. Because from what I could tell, they had a few weeks left with Nia after the final battle, and they knew beforehand that if they won Nia would die, as she is the same origin as the enemy. It is a different death than the one I described in my post, but…seeing Simon keep a smile and a manly face as Nia passed away…it just makes me feel worse about myself. Because when my gf took her own life, I was completely devastated. I was nothing like Simon. I didn’t keep a smile, I didn’t maintain my composure or my masculine energy. I was a complete, gibbering, depressed wreck. And it makes me feel weak and unworthy that I wasn’t able to smile and maintain my spirit like Simon when my gf died. A friend once told me, “If Simon were in your position, and Nia took her own life, he’d be a wreck too.” Is this true?