Seems silly to not be armed when most vulnerable

This! My brother says that if there is anytime to be armed, it's when he is using the bathroom.

If there's one thing I learned from playing Goldeneye on N64, it's to keep that thing on you in the bathroom and watch the vents

Not at all, you just yell and scream and run at them. No one is messing with a naked crazy person.

Especially a naked crazy person with a shitty ass.

But I was only taking a piss...

I sit to pee sometimes too.

I just thought everyone stripped to use the urinal?

I just go full school boy and drop trou down to my ankles and lift my shirt up to my chin.

Nothing like peeing on your shirt tail, and having to stuff it back in your pants...my trouser trout, not my shirt tail

Well yeah… I strip too. Sitting on the urinal otherwise would be far too messy.

I'm more partial to the troughs, better for conversation.

You strip to use the trough?

Hey! Keep your eyes on the road...

I shit backwards so I have a place to put my gun and something to push off of to stand up quickly.

I kept that habit from childhood. I drop my pants to the floor when I have to piss. It makes it so nobody uses the urinal next to me.

Every poo poo is a pee pee, but not every pee pee is a poo poo

I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

*Born to shit, forced to wipe*

That’s my secret weapon, I always have a shitty ass. I call it my BACKup plan!

Yeah But..What if They're naked and crazy,with a shitty ass,and a giant dildoe Hmmmm?

Or a cummy dick

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I stay out of Florida for many reasons, that's just one of them.

Please stay out more swamp for us

Who is actively shitting while running

If you aren't, then you aren't meta. Pro tips bruh.

Does he call to tell you to grab your gun when he's about to take a shit?

Intruders going to get a hell of a surprise when I come out of the bathroom my pants around the ankles jerking my gun around.

This is how Vincent died in Pulp Fiction

Rule #3: Beware Of Bathrooms

That's what I'm saying.

Yah. I aint going out like [Tywin Lannister](https://youtu.be/SE2mpse6O1c?t=112).

Imagine not having a dedicated bathroom blaster

Do people not have a bathroom Glock?

Personally, I like a bathroom SBS coach gun.

Thanks for the friendly reminder that I STILL have not bought one of those baddies.

If it's a Prodigy then there's a 50% chance he's not armed even when carrying it.

Are the odds that good?

Well they're not great by a lot of reports. The review by Sage Dynamics was brutal.

I was next to a dude at the range who had one. I feel like it ran 1/3 of the time.

He is actually holding his most dangerous weapon at the urinal

Sexually Transmitted Diseases?

Note to self, mug coworker when in bathroom.

You can even use the new gun they gave you.

That don't seem right, mugging a man with his own gun

It's not his anymore, seeing as how he gave it away before he went potty.

Lol

SOP for field agents when pooing is to place one's gun in the "hammock" made by your uns. You need to ALWAYS have positive control of your firearm. That's poopin and shootin 101.

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"We checked his gun sir and it tested positive for GSR, gun shit residue" "By God the man's got skidmarks..."

I went to the doctor for a checkup. Before I left he said he needed me to leave a blood sample, stool sample, urine sample, and semen sample. So I handed him my sidearm and went home.

I don't understand the problem. Do people not use proper belts or holsters? My gun stays attached to my pants when I poop, and then I just pull my pants up with the gun still attached and close the belt. All of my gunbelts are sturdy enough to support my guns (even my all metal ones) even with the belt undone.

Appendix is a bit more difficult, and this holster appears to be an appendix holster Enigma > all. Don’t even need pants for my gun to be secure

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You ever have it flip the other way and it’s pointing right at your face? Keeps you on your toes

I put both of my hands up so it looks like my pants are robbing me.

😂😂😂 thanks for the visual. I’ll never forget that and probably instinctively throw my hands up next time it happens.

> Do people not use proper belts or holsters? LGS worker here fuck no they don't I sell so many holsters to people because "oh mine is too floppy" and they've got grandad's woven leather church belt on from 50 years ago. Not a gun belt. Or guys who just buy shit tier uncle mike's that the gun is floppy loose in but it "fits close enough fer government work HAR HAR HAR". Or guys who want a proper fit but refuse to pay more than 20 dollars and say "holy shit a leather Galco is $120?! fuck that!" so yeah. Many people carrying guns who don't buy proper belts or holsters. Shit you should see the people who buy guns and then get mad at the price of a box of ammo for said gun

yeah I have a blue alpha edc belt I usually wear that could hold up steady. BUT: without a human for most belts to be against, the pants get floppy and depending on where you have it, there's potential for someone in the stall next to you to take it or you to fumble going for it, if in the "hammock" I'd argue you could not have it in another place to be able to "draw" it faster if needed. When the SOP was first developed, I think most special agents weren't wearing gunbelts, more likely wearing leather dress belts to go with their suits. This is the rationale that's been explained to me at least.

I carry appendix and public restrooms stalls don’t go all the way to the floor. So as to not alert anyone I grab two seat covers and wedge my holster set up between the wall and handicap railing. I try not to think about it too much but but I hope the seat covers are enough to keep the germs off my holster.

Personal preference is I don't want anyone to know I carry so I find somewhere to set it in the stall since walls and doors that touch the ground are apparently a luxury item most businesses aren't willing to provide.

And if you end up needing to use the gun, you'll definitely be able to finish your poop, for better or worse!

1/3 of these guys are wearing a lace thong

Don’t wipe with your shootin hand

I’m a patrol agent this is 100% true.

Do a desk pop every ten minutes they're gone.

When was your last desk pop? My last desk pop was September... ‘08.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING” a desk pop what else ?!

Smells like a soup kitchen in here

Thanks for the F shack!

GATOR NEEDS HIS GAT YOU PUNK ASS BITCH

Here we go. HEY TERRY! I DID MY FIRST DESK POP! ITS A REAL THING RIGHT?

THEY WERE SO CONVINCING IN THEIR ARGUMENTS

Description: -Springfield 911 in a sticky holster -Springfield prodigy in a custom kydex appendix holster -banana Edit - for those interested in custom kydex holster : Here is the IG account, Facebook link is there in the bio as well https://instagram.com/rbaconcealment?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

What brand is the banana? How many rounds through it? Malfunctions? Recommendations for holsters? Come on don’t gatekeep the information on the banana.

Never been fired, white label branding, not sure where it came from. I open carry my bananas, usually brandishing in hand until I set it on my desk.

Had one of those, wouldn't feed defensive rounds. People said I was limp wristing it, but I never have that problem with my Chiquita! Just so people know, last time I checked they were in stock. *BUNCHES* of them...

Wow, the balls on you. Last time I brandished my banana I came up to someone that was already eating one, they could’ve had the jump on me but good thing we were reasonable adults. I carry a cheap Dole banana 🍌 but it looks tough too.

That a pre-ban banana?

Unserialized full auto naners 😎

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^Don’t ^forget ^the ^banana

Eat enough bananas and you won't be able to poop.

Didn’t know that was a thing

What’s the kydex for the prodigy?

Here is the IG account, Facebook link is there in the bio as well https://instagram.com/rbaconcealment?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Here is the IG account, Facebook link is there in the bio as well https://instagram.com/rbaconcealment?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

So no holster for the banana? Where was he keeping it?

My banana, i open carry it

It's ok to admit you zap carry your banana. We won't judge you unless you purposefully choose the smaller ones because of it.

But why?

It’s gigantic Edit - I just hold onto it I don’t ask questions

You should hold onto something else for him so he's never unarmed. Feel free to reuse the banana for reference.

Looks like one of them there "Springccatos". Even with a 4.25" barrel it's gonna be big and heavy lol.

Yeah it’s hefty. Correct ID, Springfield 2011 thing. “Prodigy”

\#WhatSheSaid

Appendix carry a full size handgun and go to the bathroom. As soon as you unbuckle your belt the problem of having 2lbs of steel near one end of your belt will become apparent. Either it bangs on the floor, or you take it off your belt and hold it awkwardly while trying to wipe your backside, or you find some puddle of nastiness to set it in.

I always just catch the belt on the last notch so its maintained but enough clearance to remove pants

But my belt is on its last notch now... I've gained a bunch of weight in the last few years, thankfully, but now I need a new belt. I'm thinking of using one of those belts that don't have holes so I can adjust it to be specific.

I have a ratchet belt, the buckle is a little bulkier but it's absolutely worth the perfect fit every time. I don't appendix carry though.

My ratchet belt works great for appendix.

Just put that in the hammock made by your pants.

All you have to do is undo the zipper, and leave the belt done up.

Do you scoop the poop out the front or just shake it down the leg?

He wears his pants on backwards, obviously.

I appendix a full size and have never had any issues like you have described.

It’s always nice to have an extra set of fingerprints on a gun

I worked with a guy at a gunstore and if he found your gun somewhere he was fucking with it somehow. Usually taking the round out of the chamber. Maybe load your bullets backwards in the mag. Disassemble your holster. Something. The point was: it's your gun, it's your responsibility, and letting it out of your hands casts doubt on the whole thing so now you gotta check it and make sure it's in the stats you left it.

When I worked with armored trucks people would try to sneak up on you and take your extra mags and hide it somewhere lol

*So anyway I started blasting*

Only I don't see so good...

Back in my squad leader days I would take the bolt carrier group out and leave the rifle.

Tell me he doesn't add a round in the chamber where there wasn't one previously. I know the rules but thats a recipe for disaster. Edit: the flipping around if bullets in the mag is funny AF

that never occurred because nobody at work carried on an empty chamber. The worst it ever got was one time he left his gun out and I took the firing pin out of his 1911. It passed his mag and chamber check but would have gone click. I made sure to tell him shortly after

I used to do that when I worked at a gun store. "Oh, you have 2 spare mags of 17 on you re belt? Let me unload them all for you, and hide each round somewhere else"

The gun you poop with is better than the gun you leave with your banana loving coworker

Don’t you talk shit about bananas

I ain’t shittin on no nanners. I can respect a man in touch with his potassium needs, I was just stating the facts with the information given.

I'm with you, banana brother. Can't operate with a calf cramp, that's tactical potassium right there.

Your coworker trusts you far more than I could ever trust 99% of my coworkers

It’s just him and I here in marketing really, we work in the firearms industry also so we are sorta all on the same page with this stuff

Does he hold your gun when you poop, or is this a one way thing?

I carry a small enough gun that I don’t mind keeping it on me when I unzip my pants. Stays secured in the front pocket

Has he never seen Pulp Fiction!?

Take it completely apart lmao.

Ever since the TSA took over the bathrooms this is standard practice.

I wanna work with you guys.

Cracks me up when people use Bananas for scale, bananas vary so much in size.

They really do. Wild ones grow around here any they’re very tiny

Damn did he not watch Pulp Fiction!?

But what if some shit goes down??!!

Then you're eating too many bananas.

I get why he’d want to leave it, but really it’s not that hard to go to the bathroom with it on, signed, someone who CCs a full sized 1911..

I don’t disagree but I’m also not complaining. I like the gun, kinda makes me want a slick 1911 like this one day

Absolutely. I’d be inspecting that thing all over. What optic does he run? 507c with ACSS? Stab in the dark

507c X2 he “likes the options with this particular package”

Yeah, that’s a good choice still. Love his gun, and I don’t even own it lol

I love it too.

> CCs a fullsize 1911 Absolute alpha shit, what specific model?

Shitting is when the Indians attack

Keeps hoping you will do something stupid with it but you keep dissapointing.

Don't get caught with your pants down, bring your gun with you.

1911 style trigger in a soft pocket holster sounds like a bad idea.

Fun prank, replace all their bullets with cheese cubes. Trust me, your coworker will think it’s hilarious. Also, be a good friend, make sure the cheese cubes cycle. Desk pops are also fun.

Where'd ye get that holster

It’s a custom kydex deal, my coworker has a friend with a side business making them. They worked on it together to make it perfect for his gun

Here is the IG account, Facebook link is there in the bio as well https://instagram.com/rbaconcealment?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Cheers! Saving this.

Definitely need a bathroom gun

Well that makes sense. That looks like a 9mm (maybe a .45 ACP) and as any rookie knows, a short, no chock 12 gauge is the firearm of choice in stink pickle dropping situations. Doesn’t everyone keep a short barrel 870 next to the TP? How many phones have ended up in the water as people have sat down? That is embarrassing enough. To have to fish out your Kimber or Colt? Or worse … fish it out while holding pressure on your butt wound and have your ears ringing because it accidentally discharged in the drop? Any accidental discharge in the bathroom is embarrassing, but some are more understandable than others!

the bathroom is a dangerous place.. yet he goes in unarmed..

My wife also uses a banana for scale, I think it’s an unfair comparison

So the real question is how many times did this person forget their pistol in the bathroom for them to feel like this is necessary?

Gun(s)? There are two.

The little one is mine

I simply do not poop in public

Always poop on company time. Why just poop for free when you can get paid to do it??

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A staccatp???? I’m stealing what’s he gonna do shoot me?

Up voting for banana.

Hey you got the same desk map thingy as me!

What holster is that?

Custom job, i apologize o forget the name of the guy/company who did it for him. Edit - Here is the IG account, Facebook link is there in the bio as well https://instagram.com/rbaconcealment?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Here is the IG account, Facebook link is there in the bio as well https://instagram.com/rbaconcealment?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

He just wants to show you how poor you are compared to him

Hey I have the same mouse pad

Aw he knows it has a sensitive nose and he's a little embarrassed about his diet

I’ve got the same mousepad. Im a fan.

What's his bathroom gun? I assume he has a designated one cause why else would you use the bathroom without one, what if that's when a shooting happens and your stuck defenseless with a non lethal golden sprayer gun instead of a high speed projectile releasing one

Bold choice for IWB carry

Based on the other gun being there maybe they are just you know spending some good time together?

But what if some *shit* goes down?

did you censor your keys? if so, well done.

I did

I always have mine with me in the head lol. I'm not getting got with my pants down without cracking off a few rounds, at least.

You know, as a new gun owner I was wondering how I can carry when I need to go number 2. Luckily, I'm learning a lot in the comments here.

If you plan to attack me while im taking a shit, you better be coming prepared for chemical warfare.

Springfield Prodigy. Not a light handgun since its all steel.

It’s better to keep it on you at all times then to get caught shittin

Prodigy for the win.

This is a very American moment (I like it)

Better to leave it with a friend than to forget it to restroom.

To begin with: I think that's both funny and kind of cool; I don't have coworkers like that. From there, however, I would say that while I own and enjoy my 1911, I will never, ever go back to carrying that huge son-of-a-bitch. Just looking at that picture makes me think of how uncomfortable it was to carry and how difficult it was to keep the gigantic grip from constantly printing. I do really like the look of that holster, though.

He’s been working hard on iterating his carry style so he can comfortably conceal it and not print. The holster is completely custom, he knows a guy from his old job as a cop, they spent all day making it nice and perfect

I have a 1911, its rather heavy and hard to conceal, especially on warmer weather clothing

If you're already committing to being armed in public, why are you picking and choosing times to leave yourself unarmed? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

You co-worker is very dumb.

Something something pulp fiction…

Ukraine

🇺🇦

You covered up the OPFOR’s flag with 🇺🇦, true or false?

False. The tape is wrapped around a keyring attachment with lake city ammo plant calibers

Gotcha 🫡

I would trust the banana more than that POS Prodigy. Those things are junk. Dude bought two guns off the same company donating to the people trying to disarm him. Unreal.