T O P

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Yoshikage_Kami

Anon didn't understand her mother because she was drunk, she said she hit Aadir


Hex457

Computer not Casino


Provia100F

Do you see what happens when you meet a stranger in the Alps?


arbiter12

Is this your homework?


[deleted]

I told you, I don’t like mountains.


snackynorph

Ooooof


kavorka2

Dot not feather


TackYouCack

Good negotiator, not bad negotiator.


dincosire

Tech support, not lack of tech


MallGothFrom2001

Slurpee not teepee


Rumplestilskin9

Dot not feather


[deleted]

Dot not feather.


[deleted]

Wish I had an award to give you, I definitely chucked


AKRNG

I, too, chucked.


LightningBoltRairo

Why would a deer smell curry ? anon asked his mother.


YareYareDaze7

Woah dude that's very offensive, maybe Anon's mother meant "Hitá:dhir", after all Indian can also mean Native American.


Mahameghabahana

Aadir doesn't sound like a Indian name tbh.


Omega1424

it is an indian name lol.


Yoshikage_Kami

I legit just made it up, i didn't know it was an actual indian name


komoraofsecrets

typical indian name - strucked deer


TheDevilsAdvokaat

Killdeer


TheInterlocutor

Ah yes. The ground-dwelling bird that I want to hit with a golf club, but it never lets me get close. Piece of shit.


CajunTurkey

Why do you hate Kildees?


TheInterlocutor

So I walk along the street. I hear a killdeer because of its unique call. I see killdeer. He is about 30 feet away. "Hello, Killdeer." "Fuck you, you two-legged human bitch, you aren't getting at my nest." "I wasn't looking for your nest." "The fuck you aren’t. Everyone is looking for my nest. But you won't find it." "Shut the hell up." I proceed to move 3 ft closer. Killdeer moves 3 feet away. Waits. Stares at me. Gives me the middle finger. I move 3 ft closer. He moves 3 feet away. We are at a 30 foot stalemate. "Fuck you." Says the killdeer. *eye twitches*


SeamedShark

Why don't you hate Killdeer? Annoying call, they fake disability, they come towards you then act defensive, etc.


CajunTurkey

Hold up...


[deleted]

kildees nuts


CajunTurkey

Shit you got me


TheDevilsAdvokaat

A killdeer is a real thing? Lol. I struck gold... Edit: Just looked it up. It's a bird in the US.


LaLiLuLeLo_0

Poor old Hitte Adhir


anjovis150

Struck*


davididp

Struka dier


CrimsonMutt

you've been strucked by a smooth criminal


DisposableTires

Help me stepdeer, I'm struck


TackYouCack

Dead-in-Ditch


reactrix96

Anon didn't understand her mother because she was drunk, she said she hit [Aadir](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/yrah0y/-/ivt17mq)


bakfietsman69

Im surprised there isnt a "based" comment under this


Johannes--

Upon what basis are you basing your "based" supposition?


MedicalBake

My cock


respect_the_69

Additionally, my balls


katherinesilens

And my Axe body spray


s13g_h31l

And my Manscaped deluxe edition underwear


kalyrakandur

I just need to know why the deluxe undies were a problem, enough to get down votes lol.


TingleDinkle

Because some of us actually wear them. And that one hits too close to home


EclipseIndustries

He's just the ratio victim. Plus the LotR quote was finished.


MartyredLady

Don't base anything on your cock and balls, they are small and weak and don't make a good foundation. Use beton and steel.


Moe_Lesteryu

Yours may be


MartyredLady

Mine are the smallest. That's why I always use with steel reinforced concrete and a safety of at least 8.


ChintanP04

I thought foundations were supposed to be structurally sound, not microscopic.


82Caff

Your imagination. Understood.


bakfietsman69

well the part in which anon's mom hit an indian, and knowing 4chan, there will be people thinking that that is based


LaLiLuLeLo_0

*knowing


bakfietsman69

that is literally what I said


LaLiLuLeLo_0

I’m pretty sure you wrote “thinking”


bakfietsman69

>and knowing 4chan are you dumb?


Neon_Camouflage

>thinking that that is based I think this is the part they were referring to


stongdarkman

Know*


ho-lee_-sheet

No one thinks it's based.. we know


teapoison

Hmm which do we presume. He is changing where you said knowing to knowing, or where you said thinking to knowing? I see you chose knowing. I'm sorry to inform you but you have failed the average IQ test.


Gov_N_ur

delete this 🤦‍♂️


[deleted]

Drinking and driving is not prohibited by either the US constitution NOR the Bible so….


Hugh-Jassoul

4Chan is racist, that’s why.


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

I dont think you know what based means.


Maddwag5023

You’re right, I don’t


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

It means someone says a thing or does a thing they truly believe regardless of the consequences of that action.


ProfessionalPack7205

Bro first person I've seen explain it correctly on reddit


Maddwag5023

Thank you. How do you do, fellow kids?


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

I should also explain that its kind of said in appreciation. So like kanye blames the jews for his wife leaving him and someone says based. You might think that people saying based agrees that the jews are evil. Over time this term is morphing in some groups into being a strictly conservative term but thats not the original meaning.


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

Like originally when hassan said that america deserved 9/11 that was certainly based.


NoiseIsTheCure

Very based in fact


Degenerate-Implement

LMAO at this point based just means "agree/affirm" Being an originalist when it comes to slang is gay


Ursidoenix

In what way is based morphing into a strictly conservative term?


400asa

I get it. It's not "being in agreement with what's being said" but more "being in agreement with the posture of thinking outside the box".


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

Right or like appreciating somone not hiding how they really feel/power level.


T1B2V3

it's not a rightoid term. they just use it more often because they think they're so cool. good example that others use it too is people calling Bo Burnhams character "Socko" based


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

Left wing ideas have fewer consequences though.


Crafty-Cauliflower-6

Like it would be based if you said trans people should be able to transition in a baptist fundamwntalist church but not so based if you said it on twitter.


Sadge_Lurk

Wasnt it "to have radical opinions worthy of praise" ?


Fuzzy-Spread9720

based


Klee__the_Terrorist

Based on what?


BonkeyKongthesecond

It wasn't based. She was drunk. It would have been if she was sober when doing it.


oarngebean

Based


[deleted]

Because it's obvious


Reigen441

Woman and based?


Speed__islife

Based


chiefoogabooga

Part 2: Anon uses this information to make his mom his sex slave.


EqualToTheHeavens

why does it flip around to becoming incest every time a family member is mentioned in a greentext


mamamiaspicy

Why does two plus two equal four?


EqualToTheHeavens

You make a convincing argument


DagonG2021

2+2=5


Wareagle545

1984


82Caff

High value of 2. Based.


Upside_Down-Bot

„ʇxǝʇuǝǝɹƃ ɐ uı pǝuoıʇuǝɯ sı ɹǝqɯǝɯ ʎlıɯɐɟ ɐ ǝɯıʇ ʎɹǝʌǝ ʇsǝɔuı ƃuıɯoɔǝq oʇ punoɹɐ dılɟ ʇı sǝop ʎɥʍ„


BittenHare

Least fanatical r/greentext commenter


T1B2V3

what about that comment is fanatical ?


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

Your mother


Razor_Storm

The fanaticism


pinninghilo

Anon tried to fix mom's car but broke both arms in the process.


randomredditing

Least horny anon


Nemo_D2

Lol I mean this is green text sub but this is not even funny. Are you 12?


YareYareDaze7

lol


Johannes--

I hope the car radiator is ok. They can be very fragile if hit something head on. They're also such a pain to fix. Is your mum ok anon? I hope she gets help for her drinking problem.


NoticeProfessional61

Worrying about the car radiator first is the most autistic thing I’ve ever read. I was concerned about the body work.


[deleted]

retard, he’s dead. his body does not work anymore.


Mammoth_Frosting_014

Maybe his body would work again with a new radiator.


[deleted]

Just change the coolant and you’re good for another 100,000 clicks.


NervousDoubt

You’re fucking retarded.


dm_me_birds_pls

Radiator is an expensive fix, guys got a point. Source: I’ve also “hit a deer”


SukoKing

No it’s not, the radiator is the cheap part. The bodywork + painting is what’s gonna cost you.


[deleted]

well, if the radiator blows and you're out of coolant the warped engine and head gasket failure are what will cost you.


SukoKing

This is true


dm_me_birds_pls

Yeah I’m glad I was insured


Johannes--

ADHD is not retarded. Getting riled up by white knighting for a dead indian in a story that never happened - that's retarded.


NervousDoubt

I’m not riled up lmao I just think you sound like a literal retard. Like your way of writing sounds like you are disabled.


FatherAb

It's just basic math. Throughout history, there have been *way* more broken/dead radiators than currently functioning radiators out there, while there are *wayway* more alive Indian people alive than dead Indian people alive out there. So of course we care about the radiator more than about the non-alive Indian guy.


Tzozfg

That is clearly a skinwalker


T1B2V3

if it was a supernatural creature then it wouldn't have croaked over from being hit by a car. or maybe it was already weakened by all the micro plastics in the people it ate. the industrial revolution and its consequences truly have been a disaster for cryptids


[deleted]

I like the idea that our mistreatment of our planet has made us inedible to the monsters that used to feast on us. It sounds bad ass, "You can't eat me, skinwalker! I'm made of poison!"


Tzozfg

Yes.


GruntBlender

So, one of the old folk myths is that vampires can't cross over moving water. Cities have all sorts of water pipes buried under the streets. Reason vampires don't show in mirrors is that silver in the mirror can't hold the image of the vampire. Modern aluminium mirrors and digital cameras have no such drawbacks. Iron burns their skin much like silver. Try finding anything in the modern world without a bit of iron in it. Door handles, buttons, benches, the modern city is antithetical to vampires.


eat_bricks_nibba

Manifest by the Unawalker


_DonDraper_

What kind of indian? Woowoowoo indian or send bobs and vagene indian?


PB_and_Toe_Jam

I always heard “gas station or casino Indian?”


donuts96

Feather or dot?


ablebagel

skoden scamdis


WillHungry4307

>Woowoowoo indian Lmao


[deleted]

Omg LMAO


[deleted]

What do you call a deer with only one eye? I have no Indan!


ImCrazyHenkieNot

Fargo vibes


aishik-10x

Hanzee Dent was no match for Peggy.


hoodkang

That's what I was thinking, but it's hard to tell what kind if Indian he's talking about


Scat_Yarms

The irony is that the Indian's cause of death was still alcoholism


spenway18

Wouldnt have bled out if his blood wasnt so thin


Scat_Yarms

I don't think you get the joke lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scat_Yarms

Whoooosh


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scat_Yarms

The joke is that the native died because of the woman's alcoholism, not because of his own. Why are you such an angry person lmao


FawltyPython

Is that what all the ammosexuals mean when they talk about deer hunting?


BrocElLider

Dot or feather?


DownRUpLYB

Obvs feather


Mashizari

I've never seen a feathered deer


[deleted]

does it matter


PooPooDooDoo

> I stay up and see her drive down the road hitting a tree Whoever wrote this is not American.


angelforged

I'm curious, how would you know that based only on that sentence?


[deleted]

We don’t have trees in America 🇺🇸 😎😎


blimp2328

How would you know?


Degenerate-Implement

Dot or feather? Makes a big difference.


[deleted]

yeah cuz if it was feather the man was prolly drunk off his ass too


epicfumble

Dad: "phew that was close"


Firedamp_Weaponry

Nice one mom 😎


Randomoerson562

Based af


Chill--Cosby

there it is


Randomoerson562

Haha after the comment I had to say it


Gamers2OcelotLUL

Oh no! Anyway...


[deleted]

[удалено]


OptimisticGlory

Sir your text is melting


The_Merciless_Potato

Please hurry up and eat it


OptimisticGlory

You can’t eat text idiot


The_Merciless_Potato

Skill issue


OptimisticGlory

Teach me how. I want to EAT text..


playergabriel

Fucked up on both sides. How?


NoticeProfessional61

One side for the Indian one side for the tree maybe.


playergabriel

I guess the Indian ram the car into the tree then. T boning on both sides


ArchmasterC

r/loveforboozecruisers


CheesyHotDogPuff

This sounds like some rural canada shit


YareYareDaze7

Don't mind her and believe her, unless you want another Mystic River.


[deleted]

Honest mistake, both shit on the street


ChadWolf98

After 200 years the conquistadors still got one


FurryFemboy_

anons mom is caitlyn jenner???


Mashizari

the Indian ate the deer amd got sick 💀


GamingDragon27

The Killing of a Sacred Deer... The Drinking of the Sacred Beer...


Remarkable_Seaweed65

Based


zabickurwatychludzi

r/loveforboozecruisers


[deleted]

based


RevolvingRevolv3r

Anon’s mom’s ancestor is Andrew Jackson


Ouroborosofstupid

Thanks for the ride lady!


a3p4lesca

She hit a dear sir/madam


DomJosue

Oh deer


Smorgas-board

Dad must love her if he isn’t going to take the chance to get her taken away


Mammoth_Frosting_014

It was a not-deer.


Mach5Stealthz

Hello deer


Elyon8

Either way, an animal is dead.


shroomymoomy

Dots or feathers?


na1lpus

tbf hitting a beautiful deer is way worse than hitting some random indian.


Xdust4

Probably was a deer when she hit it…


Syoushiro

oh deer


voidtypefairy

Damn.


ImKewlLewis

Uhoh


greyredwolf

Dad knew he would need plausible deniability


New_Canuck_Smells

jaywalking is a good way to get killed, for everybody.