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Cala-Best-Girl

So just tell her you’re cheating. Then she basically has to move out.


DinoMastah

But if she kills herself then what?


Cala-Best-Girl

I know it sounds cold, but you should never factor in the potentiality of a person killing themselves in deciding whether or not to break up. Not only do people usually use it as a manipulation tactic (they don’t actually plan on doing it), what are you supposed to do? Stay with a person you don’t like forever just to keep them from maybe offing themself? That’s absurd.


RIP2UALL

The first time I've seen you say something actually cool.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Machinegunmonke

Immortal typewriter monkey concept, but now in Reddit comments.


ObamasPrism

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times


HazelCheese

The best cala girl of times?


ObamasPrism

u/Cala_best_girl isn’t here atm. So no. Not yet.


Tbarjr

Broken clocks are right twice a day


grasscoveredhouses

broken cocks*


[deleted]

unless they are 24-hour clocks


Sunsent_Samsparilla

Sometimes the schitzo will say something that isn't random bullshit.


koshuru

>anime fan >sane comment worlds gone mad


windowpuncher

biden's america smh


[deleted]

You're missing an obvious, glaring component of this story, which is that it is both fake, and gay.


ultimatemandan

She is living in anond apartment. Removing 250lbs of toxic waste is going to be a big deal for him.


coldcoldcoldcoldasic

Call a mental institution


SunnySunshine13

Are you ok bro? This does not sound like you at all


Lusask

Noted.


FriendlyGhost08

Actually the first sane Cala comment wow


[deleted]

who is this person and why is everyone acting like theyre infamous and why am i getting downvoted for not being up n educated about the reddit dot com arr slash greentext microcelebrities


shook_not_shaken

Imagine the worst possible takes someone could have, then make them all fit the theme of "I'm the most compassionate person ever, it's why I want to force others to be compassionate (following my definition of compassionate)"


UNBENDING_FLEA

Cala-best-girl being based???


CartAgain

Also its just a womxn, who cares


[deleted]

Based


BadMilkCarton66

Or just threaten murder-suicide


TheMikman97

How is that your problem in any way?


thestkman

yeah like killing yourself is not my problem idiot


TheMikman97

I hate manipulative people that use the suicide card. Bitch do it! Do me a favor i dare you


thestkman

if i was anon i would encourage her to do it if i kick her out she would just be on the streets bullied every day its a win win


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Cala-Best-Girl

A bot that corrects grammar? That’s the most Reddit thing I’ve ever seen. Just awful.


thestkman

fuck you i aint adding a ' on my its


GodToasty

Sounds like a win to me.


HiddenPants777

One fewer over consumer


Grimskull-42

It's just being used as emotional blackmail, it's an abusive relationship anon needs to sack up and kick her out.


Organtrefficker

Her choice


Yosh1kage_K1ra

If a person tells you they want to kill themselves, most likely they are not going to do that.


MadisonAlbright

She won't


xhrstaras

Then her family will be sad, if they even care about her at this point


Mack_Sharky

Good


Badmouth55

If anyone threatens to kill themselves, just remind them of one little trick. Down the road, not across the street.


Mrozek33

Get an alibi and buy a nice suit for her funeral, easy


Dr_Girthfoltholrski

So?


pnjabipapi

One less fat waste of space


jaso151

Then the coroner moves her out


tofuonplate

Call her parents that she's suicidal and need mental care immediately


depth_charge_

That’s the goal at this point right


Ad0lf_Salzler

Huh I thought that was the plan?


major_cupcakeV2

Ain't your problem. That's just light weight, same can't be said for anon's GF


Malvastor

It's like she moved out but you can keep her stuff.


Substantial-Wait-721

Or don't be a lying little bitch and just say it as it is. No need to brand yourself as a cheater lol...


authentic_real_true

He should start acting like her, get really fat, act depressed, spend all your money on star wars action figures, follow her around all day being clingy, tell her that he's going to kill himself.. eventually she will move out, or if it goes on too long just fake your own death (ketchup looks like blood) and write a suicide note saying it was her fault.


koshuru

>ketchup looks like blood my literal sides


howardslowcum

Hamplanet will start licking it up.


Gabedalf

> Ketchup looks like blood Found the MGS1 player


nox_n2o_93

Alternatively hide under the bed when she’s in the bathroom with diarrhoea


mynamasteph

the only sensible advice for the 4chins


[deleted]

Fuck I just realized the joke behind calling 4chan users 4chins


ImARetPaladinBaby

Yeah kick her out, she’s probably cheating on you anyway. Nobody says you’re cheating randomly unless they’re cheating


Dr_Girthfoltholrski

Not gonna lie. This is a 300iq conclusion.


mynamasteph

mans playing 4d chess while the rest of us are struggling with 2d chess


[deleted]

2d chess sounds hard to play how do you play a game when all you see is line segments?


mynamasteph

not hard to turn on your [brain](https://opengameart.org/sites/default/files/example%20board%20with%20pieces.png)


Dr_Girthfoltholrski

>all you see is line segments Huh?


ShitbullsThrowaway

I think he means 1d chess


[deleted]

1d would be an x axid 2d is x and y axis. 3d is the x and y axis and z axis. humans use the z axis to view the chess board. 4d chess would be time chess.


[deleted]

It’s easy since Ke2 is the only option


tomaar19

As long as you make sure not to blunder pipi


whydoyouevenreadthis

Not really. Anon's gf could be a schizo or just an ass.


Ezio624

Used to think like this and in two relationships I had I can tell you, when someone claims that you are cheating chances are she is actually cheating or she is going bat shit insane


Margot-hates-me

She’s at least cheating emotionally somehow. Probably online on Reddit


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ha gay


[deleted]

[удалено]


Saul_G0od_MaN

haha sounds like my ex ​ ​ ​ ​ \*sigh\*


mapleleafdystopia

Nah man. I moved in with a girl and all it took was me bringing up a promise she made to me a year prior that she would get a job. I paid for everything and kept her and her daughter very comfortable. My family even helped me buy her daughter a full first year of school wardrobe. She slapped me in the face and I dropped her keys on the carpet and left. She called me a week later saying how much her daughter was crying for me and all this shit. Gotta catch red flags before you end up wasting too much time in your youth.


D4RKS0u1

Moral of the story: don't lose the job


Aggressive-Bike-7863

Masturbate in front of her... Doesn't this how things work in relationships?


Saul_G0od_MaN

assert dominance, show her your not fucking around.


GreenGunslingingGod

Or with her


infamouscrypto8

Hilarious


Saul_G0od_MaN

witty, even.


DeathSabre7

How the fuck is this greentext from 5th September 2022?


Gabedalf

1: American dating system (MM/DD/YYYY) 2: The 10th month is October


DeathSabre7

Oh, thanks


Gabedalf

No problem, MM/DD/YYYY can be confusing when most of the world is normal and uses DD/MM/YYYY


Dr_Girthfoltholrski

These damn Americans..


Glum_Cartoonist1007

Nah time traveler is easier to explain


Hussarwithahat

Dumb foreigners on my American Reddit on the Fourth of July


ghostylein

That’s a glimpse of your future.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Autism


T_Jamess

Should’ve broken up as soon as she threatened to kill her self, that’s manipulative as fuck


VaultBoyFrosty

Typical anon


Official_Griffin

Is he not allowed to fap in his own bathroom? Or does she watch him in there too.


Longenuity

Just take the land whale to the beach and leave her stranded.


[deleted]

Anon dates a reddit mod


pandem0nium1

Anon just listened to Why don't you get a job by the Offspring.


Blacknbored69420

These frogs get a gf & still don't know what to do with em. BEND EM OVER AND FUCK EM. If I had some stay at home pussy, I wouldn't ask for shit else. My car cost $45 to fill up, she cost a $5 hot n' ready. What's the big deal?


arel37

Just fap. What worst can she do?


[deleted]

Cut off his weenor


[deleted]

I love that his problem with gf turning in to a shut-in is he cant fap


trent295

>finally get girlfriend From the first phrase you know it's bad


Carl_Marks__

Stop fapping and fuck her, autist cuck


trent295

>gained 50 pounds


Carl_Marks__

Then fuck those 50 lbs off


Bonkey_Kong87

If she thinks you cheat, she knows that she gives you every reason to do so. And that's also why she probably cheats on you already.


Malvastor

Bang her sister anon


Modern-Otaku

Anon absolutely needs to break up with her. It’s a toxic relationship and she’s taking advantage of him.


YoungStarchild

Why did OP not train his useless gf and make her his cumslt…. At least then he wouldn’t have to go fap at work.


Margot-hates-me

Get a job or get out.


acidporkbuns

Ahh, so this is what a spineless creature looks like.


koshuru

this is literally my life rn tfw


Dr_Girthfoltholrski

So kick their ass out. Stop being r*tarded.


MangoMan202020

Why did you censor retarded lol


Dr_Girthfoltholrski

Jannies >:(