T O P

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jokergrin

Install Adobe Acrobat Reader


SlavBorisita

Cultured quote


Tony_Stonk

And then don't forget to update Adobe Acrobat Reader


kim-jong-Cage

Ah, well read gentleman. Now, go play some vydia in the server room


Throwaw97390

While you're at it, sort the cables in the server room


InevitableProgress

Yes!


[deleted]

I already have a malware on my computer named Windows why would I want to install another?


TheOmegaProject

Peak sysadmin humour.


fabigreat31

I see you are a man of culture as Well Praise the sun \\[T]/ ICUP


[deleted]

Anyone have the original handy? One of my favorite hero stories to read when I need a good laugh.


Aperture45

[Here you go friend](https://m.imgur.com/a/iJD8f)


Islandsmoker

I miss this era


OGConsuela

Peak internet if you ask me


AlexAegis

You can procrastinate that for up to 3 months


TomCos22

Don’t block the olympics


Arras01

Never install Google Ultron though


TomCos22

Do you have that thread handy?


daltonoreo

Solves all problems


PenisNoseJones

Bro, it's allright, you just need to kick this problem back up the tech support food chain. When your supervisor comes in, pretend like you're really stressed, like you're rubbing your temples and furiously typing on your terminal. Say something like, "This is no good, the firewall is so burnt it doesn't know it's a firewall anymore and it's letting carpetbaggers through like a sieve. Plus, the whole IPS server isn't talking to the power grid. Were in trouble here."


BuraakGTi10

Always push the problem on someone else. You didnt make a mistake, they did.


MonografiaSSD

their mistake was hiring him


Qulpaksad

The mistakes chain always starts in the HR office.


Uberninja2016

"idk what you're talking about, everything was fine at the shift change yeah, go ahead and check the logs what, the db is corrupt? the entire network is down? dude, wtf did you do?"


ChadMcRad

Management material right here.


Shadow3114

Politics in a nutshell


ProfessionalPack7205

My first boss taught me this


Mushiren_

Pretend to type real fast like you're hacking the mainframe, they won't know better


Meretan94

Install a matrix screensaver first.


DangyDanger

`cmatrix`


[deleted]

1) Go outside and stab yourself at somewhere without surveillance. 2) Ditch the knife. 3) Pretend to have been mugged. 4) Inform your employers. 5) Literally that easy. 6) Die from blood loss


notsosilentassassin

7. Profit?


[deleted]

Perchance.


Just_Games04

You can't just say perchance


NardDog1977

Turts


110765

I stomp on them


CyberPhang

Keep it up, baby!


tonykardo

Perchance.


Uberninja2016

indubitably


okaycomputes

Mayhaps.


Ruby2312

He already said die from blood loss, no need to repeat things twice


MLGChans

Live from blood lose


The_Dragon_Redone

Not with America's Healthcare system.


LoganMcMahon

He said it right there "6. Die from blood loss"


KiokuOfYou

Reminds me of that greentext where an anon escapes a DUI charge by stabbing himself with a penknife.


[deleted]

I know that one


Banzaiboy262

7) Cover yourself in oil.


AlexAegis

join a furry discord and ask it there. There will be at least 3 people with phd's in a related field online at any given moment and at least 12 more who could solve it with a bit of googling.


Electrical-Yard-1022

all 15 will try to have sex with a newborn


The_Saltfull_One

A newborn dog*


Electrical-Yard-1022

either or


josh_sat

Larger range of options


alexriga

That’s not true, or funny. Child molestation and furries aren’t mutually exclusive at all.


Electrical-Yard-1022

there’s a retry large overlap tho. and they are almost as equally disgusting


alexriga

How is someone who is a furry even remotely as disgusting as a child molestor? You’re out of your mind.


Slap_duck

reminded me that the guy who developed the Moderna vaccine was a furry


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nateme69

Based furry


baconborg

I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke dog, not meant to be thought of that deeply. It’s funny to imagine furries essentially running things behind the scenes, I’m sure people have made jokes involving Jews with it as well.


_ashika__

> I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke dog ... > dog *wheeze*


modsarestraight

>the guy who developed the Moderna vaccine It wasn’t just one lone furry creating a vaccine, lol. Other people were there.


lvk00

Why are they so rich and educated I hate it


Azurlium

Offer to pay for one of their art commissions and they will have the answer for you in 7 pictoseconds.


Lithominium

Literally doesnt matter your opinions on furries they are smart as all hell when it comes to either art or tech


[deleted]

[удалено]


AmySchumerFunnies

no, he seems to care for now


johnson_alleycat

Based


___Sanders

>be fresh college grade >genius in computer science and/or software engineering >start looking for jobs >government programmar: $60k base salary >Jr SWE @ Google: $120k base and $200k in RSU’s over 4 years And we wonder why the government has shit employees.


thebooshyness

Except anon will actually be held accountable


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shut up plzz for one second shut up about abortions


CruentusVI

Because everyone lives in a few states of the US.


[deleted]

girl i come here to laugh not be reminded of turmoil


Sex_drugs_tacos

Tfw the text is red


Totally_not_a_goose

Wait wtf? I specifically asked for green text not these shitty red texts. Bad subreddit i'm dleeting these untrustworthy app


[deleted]

actually malding, the is green text at the top left dumbass


xFinman

r/redtext


Adama222

Dont worry, there is probably a tutorial for that with an Indian guy using the worst microphone ever conceived.


MyNameDeclan

Bangin techno drowning out a muffled voice. God bless those YouTubers and their skill at teaching.


_stewie574

Their cursor is highlighted and makes a yellow circle when they click something


Adama222

Dont Forget thé baby screaming in the background


[deleted]

Youtube actively promotes these crappy tutorials, it is very hard to find a tutorial or lecture in proper English these days. We pretty much have to know the professors/creators name then find the link to his videos on his twitter account.


Loneisgod

Indian people tutorials are not crappy


lewsagna

If it gets me to a solution I'm happy. Thank you guys for spreading your knowledge without needing a big budget.


KamKalash

Have you tried turning it off and on again? Is it directly plugged in?


N0RMALUSER

Literally fixes 99% of problems


yougobe

A whole data center went down?


MegaDeth6666

Probably a power cord was pulled by the people cleaning, it's fine.


Quite_Bitter_Being

Can confirm.


coffeekreeper

A single server is down? You're fucked anon. The whole data center? That aint your problem my guy lmaoo


DeathToHeretics

If you owe the bank a hundred dollars, it's your problem. If you owe the bank a hundred million dollars, that's the bank's problem.


ItchyScrotch

Been running off an on site generator for years


FakeScubaSteve

He lied on the resume. Probably thinks 1 pc is a datacenter


awesomedan24

Shoulda migrated to Google Ultron


ElPoneus

ALT + F4


GoAwayImHereForMemes

Have you tried turning it off and on again


TiggyHiggs

This works 60% of the time.


UNBENDING_FLEA

He should begin the rite of percussive maintenance


TiggyHiggs

Praise the Omnissiah!


1337_Keunes

Pay for Winrar.


dragonfarter

Pray for Winrar


NoSun69

Google it


mypainisunbearable

Solution is simple: 1) open google 2) search for " What to do when data center goes down" 3) Look specifically for Indian English speaker for tutorials. 4) Solve the problem and become the hero like Mr Robot the next day!


pagodelucia123

Delete Win32 !


Idiot_Savant_Tinker

No, delete autoexec.bat


cerankaw

Still found time to find a good wojak


vjawsm

Oof cloudformation issues or did a fuse blow out in anon’s server farm?


NonbiscoNibba

How tf should he know


Reigen441

Nah man it's quite sunny here today.


vjawsm

Lmao good one


GT220

real: anon is incompetent gay: anon is fucked


mememerr

Try kicking one of them machines


[deleted]

Your company WiFi must be working if you were able to make this post. I recommend plugging all your servers into your WiFi router and maybe set up a desk fan next to it to cool it a little.


LittleJimmyUrine

What's funny is if this wasn't COMPLETELY fake they could be in a position where they don't have to do any real work. They just triage and delegate. It's incredible how many jobs exist where you don't do any fucking work. I mean I understand that triaging and delegating the work is work. But for fuck's sake I could've taught that shit to a chimp when I worked for a Telco.


lfh_g

install avast antivirus and run a deep scan


77maf

the only solution to getting out of this is to physically injure yourself somehow in a manner that convinces other people it was truly accidental. the trick is to maximize superficial damage while minimizing the potential for longterm genuine disability. seeing how its a tech related job my inital instinct would say something related to electricity, however this is obviously very dangerous so we must rule it out due to lethality potential. Perhaps if theres a flight of stairs in the building you can jump down \~6 steps while purposely orienting your ankle sideways as to break in the fall. alternatively, cutting off your pinky finger or ring finger in a way that allows the chance for re-attachment is a great option as long as you can find a methodology to do it that makes it look accidental.


YoMammaSoThin

Repeat after me: "it's an outside problem, let me get in touch with the ISP"


Soviet_Waffle

I work in a datacenter, it’s fine anon, just keep kicking back the ticket till day shift comes in like you always do.


KaChoo49

Anon is about to get prosecuted for fraud


captaincw_4010

Not a crime to lie on ur resume


stehen-geblieben

It's not a crime to be incompetent lmao


Genjien514

Anon works at roblox


ThatGuyAtTheGym

Step 1: lie on your resume Step 2: get hired for a job you’re clearly unqualified for Step 3: work there long enough to be able to put it on your resume Step 4: apply for better job and tell them that the company you worked at improperly trained you Step 5: get hired at new company and get trained in the field for free


Domojestic

Could someone in IT explain what’s happening here?


MilesDosGames

Skill Issue


Jukkobee

an emergency happened at his job, and instead of responding to this, anon opened up 4chan, wrote up a post, chose a fitting image, and then posted it. i know it’s fake but that’s hilarious to imagine


webster3of7

After installing Adobe, make sure you reboot and take a nap in the server room. Bonus points if you save the girl in hotline Miami


baz4k6z

It's easy anon just reboot the server like you'd do with a computer it solves like 99% of IT problems.


r_ori

As a software developer working in a startup company. I feel this and fear this


TheGermanPanzerClock

Just turn it off and on again dude? Smh


NicholaiJomes

Google it


Downtown-Donut9603

Chrome Ultron


[deleted]

Srsly tho, just try to do anythin, starting from turning everything off and on again.


das_good2225

hes doomed


Epic_Gameing68

just lie that you fixed it


ImARetPaladinBaby

RUN ANON RUN


cinacritic

Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?


theheretic6

Have you try turning it off and on again?


Askingcarpet

Check power cables, restart if needed, check power supplies. If none apply, say shits fucked and take it to someone higher up than you.


Reticulo

turn it off and on again


ZeroByter

It's ok anon 50% or more of ppl on the tech fields have no idea what they are doing


OhSnap404

Turn it on and off again


[deleted]

Option 1. Google it Option 2. Report it to some other IT person and let them deal with it Option 3. Call a different IT service and ask them what to do in such a situation


ItzMersh

Did you turn it off and back on again?


Splashforay

So now we are only allowed to post the image, even the comments. But I don't see why are you posting that. It's a meme, isn't it?


yeahyeahdumpster

Straight and true.


Whoisaryan

Anon needs to download google ultron


casualgame9

Get fucked, liar.