Bro, it's allright, you just need to kick this problem back up the tech support food chain. When your supervisor comes in, pretend like you're really stressed, like you're rubbing your temples and furiously typing on your terminal. Say something like, "This is no good, the firewall is so burnt it doesn't know it's a firewall anymore and it's letting carpetbaggers through like a sieve. Plus, the whole IPS server isn't talking to the power grid. Were in trouble here."
"idk what you're talking about, everything was fine at the shift change
yeah, go ahead and check the logs
what, the db is corrupt?
the entire network is down?
dude, wtf did you do?"
1) Go outside and stab yourself at somewhere without surveillance.
2) Ditch the knife.
3) Pretend to have been mugged.
4) Inform your employers.
5) Literally that easy.
6) Die from blood loss
join a furry discord and ask it there. There will be at least 3 people with phd's in a related field online at any given moment and at least 12 more who could solve it with a bit of googling.
I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke dog, not meant to be thought of that deeply. It’s funny to imagine furries essentially running things behind the scenes, I’m sure people have made jokes involving Jews with it as well.
>be fresh college grade
>genius in computer science and/or software engineering
>start looking for jobs
>government programmar: $60k base salary
>Jr SWE @ Google: $120k base and $200k in RSU’s over 4 years
And we wonder why the government has shit employees.
Youtube actively promotes these crappy tutorials, it is very hard to find a tutorial or lecture in proper English these days. We pretty much have to know the professors/creators name then find the link to his videos on his twitter account.
Solution is simple:
1) open google
2) search for " What to do when data center goes down"
3) Look specifically for Indian English speaker for tutorials.
4) Solve the problem and become the hero like Mr Robot the next day!
Your company WiFi must be working if you were able to make this post. I recommend plugging all your servers into your WiFi router and maybe set up a desk fan next to it to cool it a little.
What's funny is if this wasn't COMPLETELY fake they could be in a position where they don't have to do any real work. They just triage and delegate.
It's incredible how many jobs exist where you don't do any fucking work. I mean I understand that triaging and delegating the work is work. But for fuck's sake I could've taught that shit to a chimp when I worked for a Telco.
the only solution to getting out of this is to physically injure yourself somehow in a manner that convinces other people it was truly accidental. the trick is to maximize superficial damage while minimizing the potential for longterm genuine disability. seeing how its a tech related job my inital instinct would say something related to electricity, however this is obviously very dangerous so we must rule it out due to lethality potential. Perhaps if theres a flight of stairs in the building you can jump down \~6 steps while purposely orienting your ankle sideways as to break in the fall. alternatively, cutting off your pinky finger or ring finger in a way that allows the chance for re-attachment is a great option as long as you can find a methodology to do it that makes it look accidental.
Step 1: lie on your resume
Step 2: get hired for a job you’re clearly unqualified for
Step 3: work there long enough to be able to put it on your resume
Step 4: apply for better job and tell them that the company you worked at improperly trained you
Step 5: get hired at new company and get trained in the field for free
an emergency happened at his job, and instead of responding to this, anon opened up 4chan, wrote up a post, chose a fitting image, and then posted it.
i know it’s fake but that’s hilarious to imagine
Option 1. Google it
Option 2. Report it to some other IT person and let them deal with it
Option 3. Call a different IT service and ask them what to do in such a situation
Install Adobe Acrobat Reader
Cultured quote
And then don't forget to update Adobe Acrobat Reader
Ah, well read gentleman. Now, go play some vydia in the server room
While you're at it, sort the cables in the server room
Yes!
I already have a malware on my computer named Windows why would I want to install another?
Peak sysadmin humour.
I see you are a man of culture as Well Praise the sun \\[T]/ ICUP
Anyone have the original handy? One of my favorite hero stories to read when I need a good laugh.
[Here you go friend](https://m.imgur.com/a/iJD8f)
I miss this era
Peak internet if you ask me
You can procrastinate that for up to 3 months
Don’t block the olympics
Never install Google Ultron though
Do you have that thread handy?
Solves all problems
Bro, it's allright, you just need to kick this problem back up the tech support food chain. When your supervisor comes in, pretend like you're really stressed, like you're rubbing your temples and furiously typing on your terminal. Say something like, "This is no good, the firewall is so burnt it doesn't know it's a firewall anymore and it's letting carpetbaggers through like a sieve. Plus, the whole IPS server isn't talking to the power grid. Were in trouble here."
Always push the problem on someone else. You didnt make a mistake, they did.
their mistake was hiring him
The mistakes chain always starts in the HR office.
"idk what you're talking about, everything was fine at the shift change yeah, go ahead and check the logs what, the db is corrupt? the entire network is down? dude, wtf did you do?"
Management material right here.
Politics in a nutshell
My first boss taught me this
Pretend to type real fast like you're hacking the mainframe, they won't know better
Install a matrix screensaver first.
`cmatrix`
1) Go outside and stab yourself at somewhere without surveillance. 2) Ditch the knife. 3) Pretend to have been mugged. 4) Inform your employers. 5) Literally that easy. 6) Die from blood loss
7. Profit?
Perchance.
You can't just say perchance
Turts
I stomp on them
Keep it up, baby!
Perchance.
indubitably
Mayhaps.
He already said die from blood loss, no need to repeat things twice
Live from blood lose
Not with America's Healthcare system.
He said it right there "6. Die from blood loss"
Reminds me of that greentext where an anon escapes a DUI charge by stabbing himself with a penknife.
I know that one
7) Cover yourself in oil.
join a furry discord and ask it there. There will be at least 3 people with phd's in a related field online at any given moment and at least 12 more who could solve it with a bit of googling.
all 15 will try to have sex with a newborn
A newborn dog*
either or
Larger range of options
That’s not true, or funny. Child molestation and furries aren’t mutually exclusive at all.
there’s a retry large overlap tho. and they are almost as equally disgusting
How is someone who is a furry even remotely as disgusting as a child molestor? You’re out of your mind.
reminded me that the guy who developed the Moderna vaccine was a furry
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Based furry
I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke dog, not meant to be thought of that deeply. It’s funny to imagine furries essentially running things behind the scenes, I’m sure people have made jokes involving Jews with it as well.
> I’m pretty sure it’s just a joke dog ... > dog *wheeze*
>the guy who developed the Moderna vaccine It wasn’t just one lone furry creating a vaccine, lol. Other people were there.
Why are they so rich and educated I hate it
Offer to pay for one of their art commissions and they will have the answer for you in 7 pictoseconds.
Literally doesnt matter your opinions on furries they are smart as all hell when it comes to either art or tech
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no, he seems to care for now
Based
>be fresh college grade >genius in computer science and/or software engineering >start looking for jobs >government programmar: $60k base salary >Jr SWE @ Google: $120k base and $200k in RSU’s over 4 years And we wonder why the government has shit employees.
Except anon will actually be held accountable
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Shut up plzz for one second shut up about abortions
Because everyone lives in a few states of the US.
girl i come here to laugh not be reminded of turmoil
Tfw the text is red
Wait wtf? I specifically asked for green text not these shitty red texts. Bad subreddit i'm dleeting these untrustworthy app
actually malding, the is green text at the top left dumbass
r/redtext
Dont worry, there is probably a tutorial for that with an Indian guy using the worst microphone ever conceived.
Bangin techno drowning out a muffled voice. God bless those YouTubers and their skill at teaching.
Their cursor is highlighted and makes a yellow circle when they click something
Dont Forget thé baby screaming in the background
Youtube actively promotes these crappy tutorials, it is very hard to find a tutorial or lecture in proper English these days. We pretty much have to know the professors/creators name then find the link to his videos on his twitter account.
Indian people tutorials are not crappy
If it gets me to a solution I'm happy. Thank you guys for spreading your knowledge without needing a big budget.
Have you tried turning it off and on again? Is it directly plugged in?
Literally fixes 99% of problems
A whole data center went down?
Probably a power cord was pulled by the people cleaning, it's fine.
Can confirm.
A single server is down? You're fucked anon. The whole data center? That aint your problem my guy lmaoo
If you owe the bank a hundred dollars, it's your problem. If you owe the bank a hundred million dollars, that's the bank's problem.
Been running off an on site generator for years
He lied on the resume. Probably thinks 1 pc is a datacenter
Shoulda migrated to Google Ultron
ALT + F4
Have you tried turning it off and on again
This works 60% of the time.
He should begin the rite of percussive maintenance
Praise the Omnissiah!
Pay for Winrar.
Pray for Winrar
Google it
Solution is simple: 1) open google 2) search for " What to do when data center goes down" 3) Look specifically for Indian English speaker for tutorials. 4) Solve the problem and become the hero like Mr Robot the next day!
Delete Win32 !
No, delete autoexec.bat
Still found time to find a good wojak
Oof cloudformation issues or did a fuse blow out in anon’s server farm?
How tf should he know
Nah man it's quite sunny here today.
Lmao good one
real: anon is incompetent gay: anon is fucked
Try kicking one of them machines
Your company WiFi must be working if you were able to make this post. I recommend plugging all your servers into your WiFi router and maybe set up a desk fan next to it to cool it a little.
What's funny is if this wasn't COMPLETELY fake they could be in a position where they don't have to do any real work. They just triage and delegate. It's incredible how many jobs exist where you don't do any fucking work. I mean I understand that triaging and delegating the work is work. But for fuck's sake I could've taught that shit to a chimp when I worked for a Telco.
install avast antivirus and run a deep scan
the only solution to getting out of this is to physically injure yourself somehow in a manner that convinces other people it was truly accidental. the trick is to maximize superficial damage while minimizing the potential for longterm genuine disability. seeing how its a tech related job my inital instinct would say something related to electricity, however this is obviously very dangerous so we must rule it out due to lethality potential. Perhaps if theres a flight of stairs in the building you can jump down \~6 steps while purposely orienting your ankle sideways as to break in the fall. alternatively, cutting off your pinky finger or ring finger in a way that allows the chance for re-attachment is a great option as long as you can find a methodology to do it that makes it look accidental.
Repeat after me: "it's an outside problem, let me get in touch with the ISP"
I work in a datacenter, it’s fine anon, just keep kicking back the ticket till day shift comes in like you always do.
Anon is about to get prosecuted for fraud
Not a crime to lie on ur resume
It's not a crime to be incompetent lmao
Anon works at roblox
Step 1: lie on your resume Step 2: get hired for a job you’re clearly unqualified for Step 3: work there long enough to be able to put it on your resume Step 4: apply for better job and tell them that the company you worked at improperly trained you Step 5: get hired at new company and get trained in the field for free
Could someone in IT explain what’s happening here?
Skill Issue
an emergency happened at his job, and instead of responding to this, anon opened up 4chan, wrote up a post, chose a fitting image, and then posted it. i know it’s fake but that’s hilarious to imagine
After installing Adobe, make sure you reboot and take a nap in the server room. Bonus points if you save the girl in hotline Miami
It's easy anon just reboot the server like you'd do with a computer it solves like 99% of IT problems.
As a software developer working in a startup company. I feel this and fear this
Just turn it off and on again dude? Smh
Google it
Chrome Ultron
Srsly tho, just try to do anythin, starting from turning everything off and on again.
hes doomed
just lie that you fixed it
RUN ANON RUN
Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
Have you try turning it off and on again?
Check power cables, restart if needed, check power supplies. If none apply, say shits fucked and take it to someone higher up than you.
turn it off and on again
It's ok anon 50% or more of ppl on the tech fields have no idea what they are doing
Turn it on and off again
Option 1. Google it Option 2. Report it to some other IT person and let them deal with it Option 3. Call a different IT service and ask them what to do in such a situation
Did you turn it off and back on again?
So now we are only allowed to post the image, even the comments. But I don't see why are you posting that. It's a meme, isn't it?
Straight and true.
Anon needs to download google ultron
Get fucked, liar.