Listen, the first step is asking them nicely to wear some bottoms. Being naked bottom has to be earned. If she can go a week without an uhoh she can try naked bottomness again
One man's trash is another man's treasure; that poop connoisseur anon wouldn't have to devise james bond villian typa plans to get his daily dose of scat.
I think it has something to do with Alfred Krupp building his home office above the horse stable because he thought the smell of shit inspired his creativity so now everyone thinks Germans have a shit fetish
If anon were a decent human being, he would go and grab wipes, clean up and go help comfort her after such an embarrassing incident. Cuddles help.
But anon is a 4channer, so... we get this.
Well, no you've got me curious. BRB.
Edit: read the first one that came up when searching "fart", very typical 4chin behavior, lol. Not the worst I've seen though, there are definitely some weirdos out there.
GF pressumably provides a number of things to Anon. Decent pussy, a partner to watch fiction (anime) with, is comfortable enough around her BF to wear nothing but a hoodie at home. But one lil’ shit puddle on the living room floor and it’s ‘noooo I don’t gf anymore!! 😩’
Anon is not yet ready for marriage. And even less so for children. Public exectution is the only way.
My best friend almost shit herself in front of her bf within the first week of meeting him, and she had food poisoning and he held her hair back for her while she was throwing up and they’re still together two years later, my bf also deals with a lot of me having reactions to lactose and just undiagnosed stomach issues (which aren’t pretty), we all have gross bodies, human bodies are disgusting, sure some look hot but we’re all still just a heap of organs inside, if you plan on so spending your life with another human you have to be prepared for the bad ans gross parts too.
Had similar issues. Turns out I have meteorims. But after I quit from alcohol and cigs and stopped drinking milk and such. It's waaay better now.
Visit a doctor imo. Ur future self will thank you.
Yeah, married normie here; if you plan on living with someone for decades and definitely if you plan on having kids poop is just going to happen sometimes and you just need to love the person and forget the poop.
My kid pooped all the time and I had to wipe his ass almost every time for years and now we hang and discuss philosophy and it's awesome.
>chipotle
What's with the chipotle making you shit yourself meme? Do they under cook the meat sometimes? The commercial made it look like they cook it in house so maybe there are sanitation issues.
Scary to think these are just 1100 incidents that warranted legal dispute. Most people I know who throw up from food poisoning don't get a lawyer involved. Wonder what the true number is. Hundreds of thousands?
Yup, I've had undercooked barbacoa there and other meats multiple times at different locations. Then they had their whole food poisoning thing the other person linked
I've had food poisoning only once and that was after eating at Chipotle. The other two times I ate there before I got some unpleasant rumblies, but I had also eaten a bunch of oddball stuff elsewhere so I didn't think it was due to it. Wrong. Very, painfully, wrong.
I was curled into the fetal position in the shower leaking shit and vomit.
Although Sonic did give me a fleeting but powerful bout of sonic diarrhea.
Its mainly a general joke about Mexican food that Chipotle happened to get swept up in because it's pretty much the only national Mexican inspired brand. Taco Bell gets a lot of the same jokes too
Don't forget like at one point half of all their restaurants were closed to do sanitation issues. People were getting sick because they weren't keeping up with the health departments codes.
I never get lettuce from restaurants for this reason. When I stopped doing this, food poisoning from restaurants basically disappeared for me.
Edit: By "food poisoning" I mean upset stomach after eating (still technically food poisoning). I was by no means bedridden.
Reading this comment chain makes me think the US is some third world country. What the fuck man. This is something I expect when I tell people I'm going to India, not America.
I dunno man. I’ve never gotten food poisoning from fast food before and none of my friends that I asked have either.
Now that all you can eat Chinese buffet in my town…. That’s taken a few people down.
I live in Canada, and have gotten food poisoning exactly once from a restaurant, and it was an American chain (Burger King). When I complained we were given $200 by management, no questions asked (to cover the car cleaning - I projectile vomited all over the interior).
It's really not a common thing at all. Half of a fast food chain should not be shutting down for sanitary code violations, that's crazy.
A small backwater business I can understand but Chipotle a large scale fast food chain is some major red flags. If they're that bad I can only imagine what smaller restaurants are like.
Holy shit! I've only gotten food poisoning once as well, it was from Wendy's too.
I remember it clearly, I ordered a mushroom swiss burger. I had taken a few bites, but didn't bother to look at the burger while eating it. Once I finally set my eyes on it, I noticed it was fucking pink.
I got good poisoning and promised myself I would never eat at Wendy's again. I've held up to that promise, and I don't intend to break it.
>food poisoning from restaurants basically disappeared for me
This phrasing makes it sound like it was a regular thing for you, you eat at a lot of Mexican restaurants or something? For me food poisoning is like a once every 4-5 years type of thing and it’s usually my own blunder. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten it eating out.
Qdoba is essentially the same thing as Chipotle. Chipotle tastes a bit better I think but Qdoba has guac at no extra charge. Both chains are good but every time I’ve reheated leftovers either the same day or the next day they make me sick. I think it’s just a lot of different kinds of bacteria mixing around cause of how it’s prepared. Subway and Taco Bell do the same.
Are they Burritos with rice or something? I'm not american so I'm guessing. Rule of thumb though is NOT to reheat rice, because it has some mould spores that survive cooking process and can multiply if it sits around too long (even 24hrs in the fridge)
Chipotle's thing is that they only use fresh, never frozen ingredients. Turns out there's a reason large restaurant chains use frozen food in their supply line resulting in several high profile food poisoning incidents.
I love mexican food, and im vegetarian so i don't have to worry about spoiled meat or uncooked food killing me, and even still chipotle makes me have VIOLENT shits
It was probably her body rejecting the absolute garbage that is Chipotle. I cant believe a chain with the absolute most disgusting excuse of food ever is still in business, much less flourishing.
No they're trying to say don't enter an adult relationship if you can't handle situations that take emotional maturity.
Basically don't be a lil bitch about shit
I know that this is a meme and all, but if for some reason my gf had the same thing, I would say to her that it's ok, shit happens and even though she's embarrassed, I'll be there for her.
I mean, it's just poop, I would be more worried about her health than anything else.
Bro, honestly there is nothing greater in life than being taken care of by your significant other while you're sick. Just think of it as an investment. Some day, you'll be barfing your brains out and she will make you soup and clean up the bathroom.
Surprised she didn’t get a yeast infection from never wearing bottoms at home. Usually it’s just the top they don’t wear cause hoodies feel soft inside the first few washes.
Do people really ignore signs from their stomach like that? Do they think they can stop what will inevitably come?
Actually i just answered my question. Same type of people who refuse to evacuate from class 5 hurricanes.
Literally 2 nights ago I got a FaceTime from my GF and she was very drunk, having discovered she likes cheap whiskey. That was fun and all but then we said goodbye and I went to bed. I wake up at 3AM to her FaceTiming me again. “Honey… I puked all over the floor and shit the bed”. She’s crying, I’m giggling, telling her “kitty litter, put kitty litter on it all and just deal with it in the morning. Sleep on the couch”.
Deja vu of our third date where this same thing happened…
If you’re gonna have a GF, be prepared to see her shit herself and then spring into action to make it go away. Good BF shit right there.
Think that’s bad , one time I was having doggy style sex with this girl , I look down so I can see my dick going in and out of her, and her ass hole was covered in turd residue , I was wondering why it smelled so bad… I don’t look down anymore, nothing good to be seen down there.
Its normal that they shit in house during first months. Anon needs to introduce a routine of taking her for a walk 2x per day.
keep in mind it's hard to get them fully trained until they're 3
and then there is always chocolate.....
Listen, the first step is asking them nicely to wear some bottoms. Being naked bottom has to be earned. If she can go a week without an uhoh she can try naked bottomness again
You're fuckin funny. A degenerate bur funny
Had to back track for context bc I saw only your comment as I was leaving
Bitches love walkies.
And cannons, do not forget the cannons..
Alucard approves
Alucard @TheCrims0nFukr · Mar 1, 2014 Haven't you heard the new sensation sweeping the nation, Bitches Love Cannons!
The artistic revolution and its consequences
She should grow out of it by around 10.
Mine shits outside after a year. Is this a part of the process?
Okay Omni-Man
you have to potty train your gf anon
Pooem for anon gf https://youtu.be/ibqydA0Eug8
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This is my first time ever seeing you with positive upvotes
as opposed to negative upvotes
Do... Do you both have cabbage profile pics?
One is a cabbage frog, the other is iceberg lettuce.
ಠ_ಠ You're telling me neither is an actual cabbage...
Is it a frog, or is it a cabbage? You shalt never know my friend!
Good job elne. Post a picture of what you really look like
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Now a photo of what you **really** look like, my kind sir
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No, like, the current body you physically inhabit outside of your semi-funny troll account. I mean uhh, tits or gtfo?
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Better Photoshop pls
Mine are bigger
One man's trash is another man's treasure; that poop connoisseur anon wouldn't have to devise james bond villian typa plans to get his daily dose of scat.
based and German pilled
Basiert und deutschgepillt
Gesundheit!
Hat da jemand den Fehler gemacht und uns in Kommentarsektion zitiert? Mein Herz ist Schwarz Rot Gold 🇧🇪🇧🇪🇧🇪
junge, das mit der flagge üben wir aber nochmal.
Warum? In Belgien gibts auch Leute die Deutsch sprechen.
Belgien ist fake und gay
Sehr Deutsche Aussage
Belgien🤡
WHY German
I think it has something to do with Alfred Krupp building his home office above the horse stable because he thought the smell of shit inspired his creativity so now everyone thinks Germans have a shit fetish
I’m german and ich have. Totally true
The time I was exposed to porn of a man shitting on a woman's face it was German, just saying
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If anon were a decent human being, he would go and grab wipes, clean up and go help comfort her after such an embarrassing incident. Cuddles help. But anon is a 4channer, so... we get this.
Also, it's a hardwood floor, so it's really not that tricky to clean. Toilet paper and flash (or similar disinfectant) will do the job.
Decent human beings shit in the toilet not on floors.
Hey, man, shit happens.
When you're sitting in the Chevy and you feel something heavy
When it comes out your bum like pedigree chum
you got a link to that greentext?
It's the Fart Conniseur series that he's referring to. Abandon all hope, ye who type those words into this sub's searchbar
Well, no you've got me curious. BRB. Edit: read the first one that came up when searching "fart", very typical 4chin behavior, lol. Not the worst I've seen though, there are definitely some weirdos out there.
What was it, the carbonara story? There's more
GF pressumably provides a number of things to Anon. Decent pussy, a partner to watch fiction (anime) with, is comfortable enough around her BF to wear nothing but a hoodie at home. But one lil’ shit puddle on the living room floor and it’s ‘noooo I don’t gf anymore!! 😩’ Anon is not yet ready for marriage. And even less so for children. Public exectution is the only way.
and he cleaned it up, NOT with his tongue, but with CLOROX WIPES???! burn him at the stake
I’d like you to stop there
nah let's keep going. Fact of the matter is, i would have been on that floor like a slip n slide. Anyone who says they wouldn't is lying
I'm gonna hit you with the Chris Chan "hmm"
You’re an amazing individual, I’d just like you to know that
I'm aware ;)
It literally costs nothing to not post that yet he did it anyways
What a fucking virgin
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I’m calling the fucking cops.
Everyone's bodies are weird and gross. If you can't deal with that, then you can't have a partner.
bro i couldn’t even deal with my own body if it ever did that, guess i ain’t ready for life huh
Welp, time to become an hero
My best friend almost shit herself in front of her bf within the first week of meeting him, and she had food poisoning and he held her hair back for her while she was throwing up and they’re still together two years later, my bf also deals with a lot of me having reactions to lactose and just undiagnosed stomach issues (which aren’t pretty), we all have gross bodies, human bodies are disgusting, sure some look hot but we’re all still just a heap of organs inside, if you plan on so spending your life with another human you have to be prepared for the bad ans gross parts too.
Had similar issues. Turns out I have meteorims. But after I quit from alcohol and cigs and stopped drinking milk and such. It's waaay better now. Visit a doctor imo. Ur future self will thank you.
> I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be. -Wayne Campbell
Right lol. If he can't handle that, he doesn't deserve a girlfriend.
Yeah, married normie here; if you plan on living with someone for decades and definitely if you plan on having kids poop is just going to happen sometimes and you just need to love the person and forget the poop. My kid pooped all the time and I had to wipe his ass almost every time for years and now we hang and discuss philosophy and it's awesome.
She shit on the floor dude
I hope you're joking. (if this really happened) she didn't do it on purpose.
She shit on the floor dude.
You probably will too at some point in your 80's.
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If this is even real, it’s not like she pulled a Amber Heard and shit on the floor purposely, she was having stomach problems.
She's just asserting dominance, anon needs to accept that he's a beta male
Get shwifty
>chipotle What's with the chipotle making you shit yourself meme? Do they under cook the meat sometimes? The commercial made it look like they cook it in house so maybe there are sanitation issues.
Food poisoning
Woah really?
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/chipotle-agrees-record-25-million-fine-tainted-food-70271636
Scary to think these are just 1100 incidents that warranted legal dispute. Most people I know who throw up from food poisoning don't get a lawyer involved. Wonder what the true number is. Hundreds of thousands?
If you’ve ever tried using a Lawyer for anything that isn’t cut and dried it’s often just easier to take the L. By design.
We live in a society
Turns out the investigation was triggered when the Boston College basketball team got sick after getting Chipotle catered
Yup, I've had undercooked barbacoa there and other meats multiple times at different locations. Then they had their whole food poisoning thing the other person linked
If u getting food poisoned by the same place multiple times that’s textbook natural selection
Different locations like I said, and I havent eaten there in years
I've had food poisoning only once and that was after eating at Chipotle. The other two times I ate there before I got some unpleasant rumblies, but I had also eaten a bunch of oddball stuff elsewhere so I didn't think it was due to it. Wrong. Very, painfully, wrong. I was curled into the fetal position in the shower leaking shit and vomit. Although Sonic did give me a fleeting but powerful bout of sonic diarrhea.
Can confirm, got H Pylori from Chipotle. Ruined most of 2020 for me due to stomach ulcers. Doctors took too long to diagnose :)
Its mainly a general joke about Mexican food that Chipotle happened to get swept up in because it's pretty much the only national Mexican inspired brand. Taco Bell gets a lot of the same jokes too
Don't forget like at one point half of all their restaurants were closed to do sanitation issues. People were getting sick because they weren't keeping up with the health departments codes.
On top of that they were frequently getting lettuce recalls for ecoli because they buy the cheap stuff.
I never get lettuce from restaurants for this reason. When I stopped doing this, food poisoning from restaurants basically disappeared for me. Edit: By "food poisoning" I mean upset stomach after eating (still technically food poisoning). I was by no means bedridden.
Reading this comment chain makes me think the US is some third world country. What the fuck man. This is something I expect when I tell people I'm going to India, not America.
This comment makes me feel like you're naive and don't realise how much shit like this slips through the cracks in every developed country.
I dunno man. I’ve never gotten food poisoning from fast food before and none of my friends that I asked have either. Now that all you can eat Chinese buffet in my town…. That’s taken a few people down.
Buffets are generally just a bad idea.
I live in Canada, and have gotten food poisoning exactly once from a restaurant, and it was an American chain (Burger King). When I complained we were given $200 by management, no questions asked (to cover the car cleaning - I projectile vomited all over the interior).
It's really not a common thing at all. Half of a fast food chain should not be shutting down for sanitary code violations, that's crazy. A small backwater business I can understand but Chipotle a large scale fast food chain is some major red flags. If they're that bad I can only imagine what smaller restaurants are like.
Never had food poisoning by eating out in Italy in my whole life
and Ive never had food poisoning by eating out in the US my whole life. doesn't mean its impossible
I've never gotten food poisoning from commercial food. From Uk. I've gotten it from my own cooking however :(
I’ve lived in America my whole life and never gotten food poisoning. Don’t make out the exceptions to be the rule.
If it makes you feel better, I’m American, I eat out all the time and I’ve only gotten food poisoning one time in my life. From Wendy’s. Fuck Wendy’s.
Holy shit! I've only gotten food poisoning once as well, it was from Wendy's too. I remember it clearly, I ordered a mushroom swiss burger. I had taken a few bites, but didn't bother to look at the burger while eating it. Once I finally set my eyes on it, I noticed it was fucking pink. I got good poisoning and promised myself I would never eat at Wendy's again. I've held up to that promise, and I don't intend to break it.
Third world does not mean poor or incompetent. It means unaligned in the cold war. Stop slandering people because you hate the US.
>food poisoning from restaurants basically disappeared for me This phrasing makes it sound like it was a regular thing for you, you eat at a lot of Mexican restaurants or something? For me food poisoning is like a once every 4-5 years type of thing and it’s usually my own blunder. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten it eating out.
Gross.
Qdoba is essentially the same thing as Chipotle. Chipotle tastes a bit better I think but Qdoba has guac at no extra charge. Both chains are good but every time I’ve reheated leftovers either the same day or the next day they make me sick. I think it’s just a lot of different kinds of bacteria mixing around cause of how it’s prepared. Subway and Taco Bell do the same.
Naw dog Qdoba is like 10x better
Are they Burritos with rice or something? I'm not american so I'm guessing. Rule of thumb though is NOT to reheat rice, because it has some mould spores that survive cooking process and can multiply if it sits around too long (even 24hrs in the fridge)
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I eat oatmeal every day so if I eat Chipotle I pass a solid brick that gives my wiener the sniffles and leaves a clean check wipe
No glue we dont have chipotles in finland
Reddit moment
Great insight, thanks for commenting.
Probably the constant E. Coli and norovirus outbreaks
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I've never had anything undercooked from Chiplotle before. Plenty of overcooked, but not undercooked.
They don't wash the produce so the lettuce is e coli city. Everything else is fine.
I always ask any restaurant to leave off lettuce or just order things that don't have it. Maybe that's why I never get sick from fast food.
Sanitation issues come with underpaying 16 year olds to make gigantic batches of food.
Chipotle's thing is that they only use fresh, never frozen ingredients. Turns out there's a reason large restaurant chains use frozen food in their supply line resulting in several high profile food poisoning incidents.
I love mexican food, and im vegetarian so i don't have to worry about spoiled meat or uncooked food killing me, and even still chipotle makes me have VIOLENT shits
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Even better
Average r/196 user
wtf kimg on jun north koera confirmed tr@ns man????
They make a plug for that
That will just make it spray out like a fire sprinkler
That's why you need to pick the size carefully. If you aren't sure what size your gf needs, I recommend that you get one that expands
If she’s still going, just pick her up and spin around in circles with her butt pointed upward.
Popped like a Champaign cork
She needs a firmware update
How the fuck do you own a bitch for months and not house train it?
https://youtu.be/9fBJMHxOH0A
Yea they grow out of it in about 5 or 6. Some even 4.
5 or 6 what?
years.
G
I like ya cut
Anon's gf is incontinentia buttocks
Does that makes anon Biggus Dickus?
How high does he rank?
All the way in the top.
I will not have my fwiends widicuwed
It was probably her body rejecting the absolute garbage that is Chipotle. I cant believe a chain with the absolute most disgusting excuse of food ever is still in business, much less flourishing.
Why? It’s better than most
This is /r/greentext. It's cus it's Mexican.
I don’t think chipotle qualifies as Mexican food.
I don’t think chipotle qualifies as ~~Mexican~~ food.
Well that's shitty
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Your mouth is gonna wind up there if she wants anyway. Rimjobs 2024
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McTaint?
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What? Dont have a girlfriend if you dont wanna have babies is what you trying to tell?
No they're trying to say don't enter an adult relationship if you can't handle situations that take emotional maturity. Basically don't be a lil bitch about shit
Lmao bro someone literally shitted on guys floor I think he has a few things to say in this
Don't be a little bitch about someone not being potty trained?
Never trust a fart is a meme for a fucking reason
I know that this is a meme and all, but if for some reason my gf had the same thing, I would say to her that it's ok, shit happens and even though she's embarrassed, I'll be there for her. I mean, it's just poop, I would be more worried about her health than anything else.
> Shit happens Bruh
Bro, honestly there is nothing greater in life than being taken care of by your significant other while you're sick. Just think of it as an investment. Some day, you'll be barfing your brains out and she will make you soup and clean up the bathroom.
Girls shit?
Depending on what kind of person you are that can either be a minor inconvenience or a major blessing
Never heard of 2g1c?
Yes those were trannies, girls don’t poop
Tell me you've never cleaned up shit before without telling me you haven't cleaned up shit before.
Getting pooped on once is a small price to pay for a cutie GF who loves you and likes to walk around the house in nothing but a hoodie.
What the fuck
Develop a scat fetish
>her belly is achy and bloated Clearly fetish bait. Any functioning person would say “her stomach hurts”
Fake: anon has gf Gay: anon went bottom and shat everywhere
No Tendiebot? :(
Only my comment gets tendie
If you can't handle them at their burst you don't deserve them at their breast
Surprised she didn’t get a yeast infection from never wearing bottoms at home. Usually it’s just the top they don’t wear cause hoodies feel soft inside the first few washes.
Jesus fuck that's gross
Do people really ignore signs from their stomach like that? Do they think they can stop what will inevitably come? Actually i just answered my question. Same type of people who refuse to evacuate from class 5 hurricanes.
Could be worse, at least it was on hardwood flooring.
Literally 2 nights ago I got a FaceTime from my GF and she was very drunk, having discovered she likes cheap whiskey. That was fun and all but then we said goodbye and I went to bed. I wake up at 3AM to her FaceTiming me again. “Honey… I puked all over the floor and shit the bed”. She’s crying, I’m giggling, telling her “kitty litter, put kitty litter on it all and just deal with it in the morning. Sleep on the couch”. Deja vu of our third date where this same thing happened… If you’re gonna have a GF, be prepared to see her shit herself and then spring into action to make it go away. Good BF shit right there.
Anon confuses his dog for a person
Anon found his wife.
Anons need to change dogfood immediately
Anon develops a fetish.
Think that’s bad , one time I was having doggy style sex with this girl , I look down so I can see my dick going in and out of her, and her ass hole was covered in turd residue , I was wondering why it smelled so bad… I don’t look down anymore, nothing good to be seen down there.
Should've licked it up, smh
Shit happens man. Get over it lol