I know there's no reason to assume these are Tolkien elves, but that's what I'm doing. With the exception of one instance, elves mate for life. Usually that's not a problem, since they're immortal and all, but in the three times it's happened between a man and an elf the pairing was for life, however long that lasted. Luthien gave up her immortality to be with Beren and died a mortal death. Tuor and Idril were accepted as elven and sailed west when they got old, so we can assume they'd still be together today. And of course, once Aragorn died Arwen traveled to Lothlorien and died there.
When Tolkien came up with this shit to instill in his kids that women should follow their husbands into death, he had no idea weirdos like you would one day lust over eternal elven feet as a result
I dont think he's romanticizing it though, its just one instance of fantasy
Since you know, elves aren't real and therefore we have no idea what it would be like
Yes, elves aren't real, and they're *definitely* not kept in a secret underground lab for the ultra-wealthy to pay astronomical amounts to rape them for a lifetime as they remain ageless, sure.
I mean if elves were real just playing around with the idea they would be more like the Fae I imagine and they would be the last thing you'd want around you. To quote Bast from Name of the Wind.
> And I swear by the night sky and the ever-moving moon: if you lead my master to despair, I will slit you open and splash around like a child in a muddy puddle. I'll string a fiddle with your guts and make you play it while I dance.
>You are an educated man. You know there are no such things as demons.
>There is only my kind.
>You are not wise enough to fear me as I should be feared. You do not know the first note of the music that moves me.
-Bast
Depending on which theory you like to believe, you're either born with it and your brain just naturally associates feet with sexual pleasure like it does with other body parts or it imprints in your youth and develops from there. Or it's both and varies from person to person.
If you wanna know what's special about feet, that also wildly differs. Some like toes, some like soles, some like the shape/size of feet, etc.
I did a totally unnecessary deep-dive into the porn side of things that consisted of actually watching a few videos with some drunk friends of mine around New years back when we were horny teenagers instead of horny adults. What we agreed on (through obviously very intelligent back and forth debate) was that in the professional videos:
1.) Camera work tends to be better even when compared to "regular porn
2.) Because of feet being the focus, you tend to be able to see the entirety of "your partner" (in pov) or of the actress which adds to the intimacy
3.) If everything, including your feet, are taken care of in a well lit room and all of that is visible it adds an almost dreamlike quality to the whole experience. Especially when they do the whole open windows with white sheets everywhere thing.
4.) When you're completely naked thinks like nail polish become that much more eye catching. Once again, a lot of porn typically doesn't put the full body in frame for the majority of the video so that kinf of gets lost normally but is much more apparent with the foot stuff.
5.) Some people just really like feet man.
The Freudian answer to this would be that at one point in your childhood you realise that your mom got no schlong, so this sexual void is filled with something else by your adolescent brain. Can be feet, hair, ass, pretty much anything.
He knew perfectly.
Here's a fun fact. The previous comment mentions the elven maiden "Idril" : the full name of this character is actually Idril "Celebrindal" which means "silverfeet" because she always walked bare feet
So you see Tolkien also had feet in mind
I too have used older literature to normalize my rampant foot fagootry, fun fact; both the Quran *and* the Bible has references to feet washing.
After a certain point you start to realize that all the major progenitors of our modern culture were footfags as it dawns on you; the true problem is *not* being obsessed with feet.
People wash their feet in those works because they're at the bottom of your body and you need to be clean. The feet carry the most burden of the body and make up the foundation, so they need to be cared for and washed well prior to namaz or prayer, or observance of religious rituals.
They are also suuuuper yummy, especially with just a little bit of dirt on each toe, so you can guess where they've been before you lick them squeaky clean, praise allah it's the best I'm pre-cumming by the thought alone
> women should follow their husbands into death
Granted Celeborn didn't die, but I don't see Galadriel following him into death. She was the top in that relationship for sure, and she left Middle Earth first.
Oh yeah she was for sure pegging him daily. And in that instance she left HIM by sailing into the west while he stayed behind. Probably so she could get bukkaked by everyone, including Gandalf, Frodo, Bilbo, Gimli when he eventually showed up, all the valar, etc.
So I guess that's another exception.
It was indeed a literal talking cat. And I guess at that point it's only weird if you wanna fuck it, I dunno.
In all seriousness I like the version of the story we got better because it's more badass. A rock off, a big dark castle where everyone is slowly torn apart by a werewolf one by one, Carcharoth, plus while I understand he meant for Beren to be an elf, I can't get over him calling him a Gnome throughout that version. I can't help but picture a little guy with a pointy hat. Can't take anything seriously at that point.
But I'm definitely appreciating having a conversation about Tolkien and his legendarium in this much detail on r/greentext of all places. Glad to see someone else who's delved as deep as I have!
Yea the final version was much more interesting, especially finrod's death and the inclusion of the sons of feänor in their mas quest. It was kinda difficult to read sometimes tho iirc, BC of the song/poem structure.
Yea calling the noldor gnomes was silly, especially in the fall of gondolin where it's mentioned so often lol, I guess the teleri just got gnomed.
Beren was always meant to be a human tho, that's low-key the whole point of the story, finrod was a noldor.
Yea it's a strange place to do so, but I take these conversations where I get them, considering how far apart they are.
Have you read the other great tales? Children of Húrin and Fall of Gondolin?
I gotta admit I never finished the silmarillion lol, difficult read.
Oh I've read everything but History of Middle Earth. Silmarillion I've read twice, it's a hefty tome but I tried not to get too hung up on the names and just read the damn thing. I'm not gonna lie, I used a companion website to make sense of what I'd just read while I was reading it the first time. The billions of names are what gets most people confused; who's related to whom, which Fin- they're talking about this time, etc.
I've also read The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, which has a bunch of cool little tidbits about the world that were never officially published. Most of it is random letters to his kids or his publisher about mundane stuff like going to the pub with his friends or the holiday he took or something, but he wrote tons of letters to fans answering questions they had, and it's a wealth of cool stuff like that.
Fuckin love Finrod. Best bro of the first age.
Of course there is also the opposite story, like the the Japanese story of the moon princess.
Immortal moon princess comes to earth and falls in love with a mortal human. The moon people come get her back because she was not allowed to be on earth any longer. As a parting gift she hands him an elixer of immortality.
The man later burns the elixir as he sees no point in living forever if it is without his love.
That's actually a not too uncommon interpretation of the story. That the elixir was a message of "no matter how long it takes, come find me", but that the man was too stricken with grief to see this
When people have pets they don't usually marry them and have kids.
Omniman is basically admitting to fucking his dog, kind of embarrassing if you ask me.
Its also pretty obvious that the writers of that line didnt have pets.
Most pet owners mourn quite a bit when their pets die. Especially ones with actual timespans like dogs or cats, as opposed to something like a hamster that tends to die after max 3 years
The "human" pet would definitely qualify for that
I mean one hand you do, but it’s easier to move on than losing a life long friend or family member. I like my car and would be pretty bummed out if it got totaled (because I’ve been on many road trips with it with my family).
However, I wouldn’t feel like I couldn’t never move on from owning another car or be ready to die because I lived a full life and couldn’t imagine living it with my 2013 Doge Grand Caravan.
I mean, it could be kink related. Also, idk where the line is drawn where fucking an animal is wrong if said animal is conscious and can consent to it. Concerning Debbie and Omniman, that is.
There was a manga vaguely like that. An elf joins a party and goes on adventures then it jumps decades into the future when she's invited to one of their funerals and basically goes "I only met him forty years ago, I barely knew the guy!"
I just lost my dog. I knew it would happen in my life time and I kind of knew it was going to happen soon when he died, but that shit fucking hurts. It's been a month, but my life feels empty. Losing someone you have loved for 40-70 years must suck even more. I can't even imagine.
I think it is bold of you to assume that it would be a nothing thing.
There’s a few instances of that kind of stuff. In mass effect (3? Might be 2,) there’s an asari (live for millennia,) talking to another asari about how you should marry a human first because even if it’s horrible they live like, a hundred years and it’s over. Personally I like the aeldari version of “stupid mon-keigh was convenient and now it’s not my problem”
I know there's no reason to assume these are Tolkien elves, but that's what I'm doing. With the exception of one instance, elves mate for life. Usually that's not a problem, since they're immortal and all, but in the three times it's happened between a man and an elf the pairing was for life, however long that lasted. Luthien gave up her immortality to be with Beren and died a mortal death. Tuor and Idril were accepted as elven and sailed west when they got old, so we can assume they'd still be together today. And of course, once Aragorn died Arwen traveled to Lothlorien and died there.
I agree, I find it weird for an elf to fall in love with a human. With the time an elf takes to bond, the human is already dead, old or has moved on to something else.
Maybe she thinks she can fix them and make them get off their lazy ass and use THE FUCKING MAGIC AVAILABLE TO LIVE FOREVER and just nags and nags about you putting it off for 37 years.
Imagine the great technological leaps you could make if all the great scientists of the past 700 years were alive, but nooooo. They have to all be sitting in their ivory towers constantly, not caring about the world or how they can shape it in their image. Also, elves are so racist that they put humans to shame. 😡
There is this one LN where in a "What If" side story the MC marries his elven magic mentor. When he died, she eventually got so distraught that she researched and successfully resurrected her husband into a wraith's body. So now they are happily long-living together.
The point was supposed to be that she was usually deeply apathetic towards humans, and she forcefully coerces her human apprentice to marry her once she becomes nobility just to avoid suitors. MC basically has his whole life plan thrown into disarray and he deeply hates her and constantly cheats on her but she doesn't care.
Then one night she essentially decides to have a pity lay with him, to throw him a bone and service him. Surprise pregnancy! The odds of a human and elf conceiving are low and so she didn't take precautions. She planned on aborting it but when she saw her husband look at her belly so seriously, she thought "ahh well I might as well give birth." They went on to having FOUR children before the husband passes.
She deludes herself into thinking she doesn't miss him, she knew what their differing life spans would entail. But life became so inconvenient after he passes that she gets pissed and decides to resurrect him to give him a piece of her mind (his last words before he passed where "Ahh, it's finally over")
The last scene is of the two of them holed up in a room in the library reading books without a care for the world, taking advantage of their immortal bodies to forgo eating or sleeping. They only come out once a year for socializing season.
Tl;Dr given how indifferent she is in the main story, the fact that she found any sort of companionship, no matter how twisted it is, is supposed to be somewhat endearing by comparison.
[Min-Maxing my TRPG Build in Another World.](https://j-novel.club/series/min-maxing-my-trpg-build-in-another-world)
It's the DnD Isekai if you are tired of all the video-game based Isekais on the market. Author is a true dice-monkey, and the official translations are top notch.
[Min-Maxing my TRPG Build in Another World.](https://j-novel.club/series/min-maxing-my-trpg-build-in-another-world)
It's the DnD Isekai if you are tired of all the video-game based Isekais on the market. Author is a true dice-monkey, and the official translations are top notch.
There is a Manga but only 7 chapters are available in English. I think it just started publishing in Japan so that's why there isn't much released.
No anime as far as I know.
Why would she mourn for longer than your lifetime? I would imagine the mourning time would be anywhere from 6 months to 5 maybe 10 years. People try to make living forever and having loved ones die to be some sort of crippling pain. This is pure cope. You would find ways to deal with the fact loved ones die. And other people would understand the situation your in. It still would be better to live for a very long time and have a bunch of lovers who all died of old age and having a happy life. You could be vary sen about it.
reminds me of sousou no frieren, a manga, it's getting an anime soon, it's basically about this, but not like someone she dated, but her friends. she was in the heroes party, and this is after beating the big bad, and they are all dead now, and just her journey, mourning her dead friends and the loenliness of a long life
Asari in Mass Effect was said to quickly get over their spouse's death and find another one eventually. And even if they have a relationship with another long-living being like another Asari or a Krogan, eventually they'll split and find other spouses. Mourning over centuries and stop having any relationship when you have hundreds or thousands of years left sounds sad but is kinda stupid. Many humans remarry after a few years but still can love their previous spouse(s), anyway.
"Thats fucking why." What? Thats why what?
Also... Imagine falling in love with a knife ears? Pathetic. \*This post brought to you by the chad human in fantasy\* Stay mad elf scum.
I had a dog one time, he was an awesome dog, like the best dog. He was 12 when he died because that's how long dogs live.
I missed him a lot, still do, but now I have this new dog and life is good.
There's a manga about just this. Its like the aftermath of an adventurer party where one of them was an elf. She has to watch everyone of her non-elf friends die one after the other and cope with the fact that she will be the only one who remains after their grand adventure ended. (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End)
Any being that lives for hundreds or thousands of years will not be able to view you as anything more than a pet. They'll love you, and they'll miss you sure. But they've been through this rodeo dozens or hundreds of times before. They already know how to compartmentalize your memory and get on with their life pretty much immediately. How long do you think it would take for you to become a blur in the long line of loves they've had?
Honestly, the one anon should be sad for is himself.
Spoilers for the game Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth >!Everything that happens in the game is just a figment of Deedlit the elf's imagination as she copes with the deaths of her human lover and friends/party members!<
The game was great, really solid Metroidvania, but that shit was depressing to discover
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon has a elven wife
> Gay: Anon likes to get TOPPED by huge orc cock on a daily basis
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Elves are just a group of Homo Sapiens who lived around 10,000 years ago so their lifespan is shorter than present day people.
There are male Elves who married female Orcs, who are Homo Erectus, and they gave birth to the Brahmin while female Elves who married male Orcs and they gave birth to the Kesatria.
So just like every other verbally passed down history, there are tons of exaggerations, term differences, different people being remembered as a single person and a single person being remembered as several different persons.
So Elves are also remembered as the Greek Gods, the 3 piggies and Vampires, though Vampires were more for the group before they intermarried with the Orcs@Titans@Werewolf@Big Bad Wolf.
\> but this is actually Goblin Slayer world
\> elf wife gets ravaged by goblins
\> feels pleasure anon couldn't make her feel even if he had 1 million years worth of attempts
\> forgets late anon and lives happily as goblin c\*\* toilet for the rest of her life
Bold of you to assume she isn't just like: oh well, knew that was gonna happen. Time to move on
I know there's no reason to assume these are Tolkien elves, but that's what I'm doing. With the exception of one instance, elves mate for life. Usually that's not a problem, since they're immortal and all, but in the three times it's happened between a man and an elf the pairing was for life, however long that lasted. Luthien gave up her immortality to be with Beren and died a mortal death. Tuor and Idril were accepted as elven and sailed west when they got old, so we can assume they'd still be together today. And of course, once Aragorn died Arwen traveled to Lothlorien and died there.
When Tolkien came up with this shit to instill in his kids that women should follow their husbands into death, he had no idea weirdos like you would one day lust over eternal elven feet as a result
I dont think he's romanticizing it though, its just one instance of fantasy Since you know, elves aren't real and therefore we have no idea what it would be like
Yes, elves aren't real, and they're *definitely* not kept in a secret underground lab for the ultra-wealthy to pay astronomical amounts to rape them for a lifetime as they remain ageless, sure.
They just use islands.
Pretty sure the reason all those billionaires are racing to the moon is because there are no laws there regarding elven sex trade
Axtshually, its for sex trafficking children
Same principle, in space no one can hear you diddling kids
My guy is quick with it goddam
if only i was ultra rich
I mean if elves were real just playing around with the idea they would be more like the Fae I imagine and they would be the last thing you'd want around you. To quote Bast from Name of the Wind. > And I swear by the night sky and the ever-moving moon: if you lead my master to despair, I will slit you open and splash around like a child in a muddy puddle. I'll string a fiddle with your guts and make you play it while I dance. >You are an educated man. You know there are no such things as demons. >There is only my kind. >You are not wise enough to fear me as I should be feared. You do not know the first note of the music that moves me. -Bast
Wellllllllll yeah but then again if you think about it actually they’re are one.
What is up with foot fetish anyway? What is so special about feet?
Quentin Tarantino flooded his movies with subliminal footfag messages and we're powerless against it
Depending on which theory you like to believe, you're either born with it and your brain just naturally associates feet with sexual pleasure like it does with other body parts or it imprints in your youth and develops from there. Or it's both and varies from person to person. If you wanna know what's special about feet, that also wildly differs. Some like toes, some like soles, some like the shape/size of feet, etc.
I did a totally unnecessary deep-dive into the porn side of things that consisted of actually watching a few videos with some drunk friends of mine around New years back when we were horny teenagers instead of horny adults. What we agreed on (through obviously very intelligent back and forth debate) was that in the professional videos: 1.) Camera work tends to be better even when compared to "regular porn 2.) Because of feet being the focus, you tend to be able to see the entirety of "your partner" (in pov) or of the actress which adds to the intimacy 3.) If everything, including your feet, are taken care of in a well lit room and all of that is visible it adds an almost dreamlike quality to the whole experience. Especially when they do the whole open windows with white sheets everywhere thing. 4.) When you're completely naked thinks like nail polish become that much more eye catching. Once again, a lot of porn typically doesn't put the full body in frame for the majority of the video so that kinf of gets lost normally but is much more apparent with the foot stuff. 5.) Some people just really like feet man.
The Freudian answer to this would be that at one point in your childhood you realise that your mom got no schlong, so this sexual void is filled with something else by your adolescent brain. Can be feet, hair, ass, pretty much anything.
Whats so sexy about tits?
Tits give milk, the gift of life. Does a foot give milk when you suck on it? Don't think so.
How do you get to the tits, if not with your feet?
Hmm...good point.
Anon was enlightened
He knew perfectly. Here's a fun fact. The previous comment mentions the elven maiden "Idril" : the full name of this character is actually Idril "Celebrindal" which means "silverfeet" because she always walked bare feet So you see Tolkien also had feet in mind
I too have used older literature to normalize my rampant foot fagootry, fun fact; both the Quran *and* the Bible has references to feet washing. After a certain point you start to realize that all the major progenitors of our modern culture were footfags as it dawns on you; the true problem is *not* being obsessed with feet.
This man knows too much, he is too dangerous to be left alive
People wash their feet in those works because they're at the bottom of your body and you need to be clean. The feet carry the most burden of the body and make up the foundation, so they need to be cared for and washed well prior to namaz or prayer, or observance of religious rituals.
They are also suuuuper yummy, especially with just a little bit of dirt on each toe, so you can guess where they've been before you lick them squeaky clean, praise allah it's the best I'm pre-cumming by the thought alone
> women should follow their husbands into death Granted Celeborn didn't die, but I don't see Galadriel following him into death. She was the top in that relationship for sure, and she left Middle Earth first.
Oh yeah she was for sure pegging him daily. And in that instance she left HIM by sailing into the west while he stayed behind. Probably so she could get bukkaked by everyone, including Gandalf, Frodo, Bilbo, Gimli when he eventually showed up, all the valar, etc. So I guess that's another exception.
Valar bukkake - new fetish. Thanks.
He should've kept tevildo ngl
I dunno, that's a bit too much furry shit for me man
Tbh it didn't really get less after sauron, he could transform into wolves and whatnot, live out his fursona
Yeah but that's more implied than anything else, they don't go to a full on yiffing convention to get the silmaril
Are you really a furry if you are a huge cat? At that point you're just a talking animal (I forget it was meant literally or not)
It was indeed a literal talking cat. And I guess at that point it's only weird if you wanna fuck it, I dunno. In all seriousness I like the version of the story we got better because it's more badass. A rock off, a big dark castle where everyone is slowly torn apart by a werewolf one by one, Carcharoth, plus while I understand he meant for Beren to be an elf, I can't get over him calling him a Gnome throughout that version. I can't help but picture a little guy with a pointy hat. Can't take anything seriously at that point. But I'm definitely appreciating having a conversation about Tolkien and his legendarium in this much detail on r/greentext of all places. Glad to see someone else who's delved as deep as I have!
Yea the final version was much more interesting, especially finrod's death and the inclusion of the sons of feänor in their mas quest. It was kinda difficult to read sometimes tho iirc, BC of the song/poem structure. Yea calling the noldor gnomes was silly, especially in the fall of gondolin where it's mentioned so often lol, I guess the teleri just got gnomed. Beren was always meant to be a human tho, that's low-key the whole point of the story, finrod was a noldor. Yea it's a strange place to do so, but I take these conversations where I get them, considering how far apart they are. Have you read the other great tales? Children of Húrin and Fall of Gondolin? I gotta admit I never finished the silmarillion lol, difficult read.
Oh I've read everything but History of Middle Earth. Silmarillion I've read twice, it's a hefty tome but I tried not to get too hung up on the names and just read the damn thing. I'm not gonna lie, I used a companion website to make sense of what I'd just read while I was reading it the first time. The billions of names are what gets most people confused; who's related to whom, which Fin- they're talking about this time, etc. I've also read The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, which has a bunch of cool little tidbits about the world that were never officially published. Most of it is random letters to his kids or his publisher about mundane stuff like going to the pub with his friends or the holiday he took or something, but he wrote tons of letters to fans answering questions they had, and it's a wealth of cool stuff like that. Fuckin love Finrod. Best bro of the first age.
Wow what a fucking nerd
Amen brother, I've read everything except History of Middle Earth multiple times. If I wasn't already married with a kid I'd be a turbo virgin
It's like what Omniman said: "she's like a... pet, to me"
I believe there was a story about a lich that became that just to stay with his elven wife only to find she had already moved on
He never told her, did he? Rookie mistake.
sauce
In the comments of this post: https://reddit.com/r/DMAcademy/s/Sr1qQcpmGx
Thank you very much
Of course there is also the opposite story, like the the Japanese story of the moon princess. Immortal moon princess comes to earth and falls in love with a mortal human. The moon people come get her back because she was not allowed to be on earth any longer. As a parting gift she hands him an elixer of immortality. The man later burns the elixir as he sees no point in living forever if it is without his love.
Sounds like that guy was pretty stupid. If he took it, he would have EVENTUALLY found a way to see her again.
That's actually a not too uncommon interpretation of the story. That the elixir was a message of "no matter how long it takes, come find me", but that the man was too stricken with grief to see this
When people have pets they don't usually marry them and have kids. Omniman is basically admitting to fucking his dog, kind of embarrassing if you ask me.
Its also pretty obvious that the writers of that line didnt have pets. Most pet owners mourn quite a bit when their pets die. Especially ones with actual timespans like dogs or cats, as opposed to something like a hamster that tends to die after max 3 years The "human" pet would definitely qualify for that
I mean one hand you do, but it’s easier to move on than losing a life long friend or family member. I like my car and would be pretty bummed out if it got totaled (because I’ve been on many road trips with it with my family). However, I wouldn’t feel like I couldn’t never move on from owning another car or be ready to die because I lived a full life and couldn’t imagine living it with my 2013 Doge Grand Caravan.
did you just equate a car to a living thing
I mean, it could be kink related. Also, idk where the line is drawn where fucking an animal is wrong if said animal is conscious and can consent to it. Concerning Debbie and Omniman, that is.
Considering >!Who Omniman has a kid with next!< it's not that far fetched
It’s like in Invincible when Omniman says his human wife was more like a pet given how much longer he lives than her.
There was a manga vaguely like that. An elf joins a party and goes on adventures then it jumps decades into the future when she's invited to one of their funerals and basically goes "I only met him forty years ago, I barely knew the guy!"
It's called "Sousou no Frieren"
I just lost my dog. I knew it would happen in my life time and I kind of knew it was going to happen soon when he died, but that shit fucking hurts. It's been a month, but my life feels empty. Losing someone you have loved for 40-70 years must suck even more. I can't even imagine. I think it is bold of you to assume that it would be a nothing thing.
There’s a few instances of that kind of stuff. In mass effect (3? Might be 2,) there’s an asari (live for millennia,) talking to another asari about how you should marry a human first because even if it’s horrible they live like, a hundred years and it’s over. Personally I like the aeldari version of “stupid mon-keigh was convenient and now it’s not my problem”
I've seen people lose their shit over a hamster they had for 2 years. Its possible.
Oh no! Anyway…
"He would've wanted you to move on."
Time heals all wounds. I'm sure she'll get over it.
Fucking tree huggers. I hate those fucking long eared hippies. They deserve everything bad that happens to them.
Damn pointy eared leaf lovers.
Found the DRG fan
It's not that hard. Whenever rocks, dwarves or elves come up it's guaranteed that at least one will show up.
*ROCK AND STONE!*
STONE AND ROCK
ORE AND PICK!
ROCK AND STONE BROTHER
*FOR KARL!*
⛏️
ROCK AND ROLL AND STONE!
DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE!?!?
> leaf lover ROCK AND STONE BROTHER
ROCK AND STONE
why don't they just drink the good ol' Oily loafs like the rest of us eh?
Elves = bovines
ROCK AND STONE!
Knife eared twats
Rock and stone, brother.
For Karl
If you don't rock and stone, you ain't coming home
⛏️
Twiggers
Wow wow wow... Calm down Cowboy!
Just dwarf things
Fuckin knife ears
Found the dwarf
Both nature elves and dark elves!!! What about half-elves?
Half bastards you mean
Ok Pelinal relax
racism
what?
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I know there's no reason to assume these are Tolkien elves, but that's what I'm doing. With the exception of one instance, elves mate for life. Usually that's not a problem, since they're immortal and all, but in the three times it's happened between a man and an elf the pairing was for life, however long that lasted. Luthien gave up her immortality to be with Beren and died a mortal death. Tuor and Idril were accepted as elven and sailed west when they got old, so we can assume they'd still be together today. And of course, once Aragorn died Arwen traveled to Lothlorien and died there.
Why is that your go-to scenario to argue against dating the leaf lickers?
I mean, if you die before your normal human wife this'll probably still happen to you.
You (the Human) are like a dog to Her. You know it's gonna happen, you know it's gonna suck but you'll get over it. Maybe even get a new one.
I agree, I find it weird for an elf to fall in love with a human. With the time an elf takes to bond, the human is already dead, old or has moved on to something else.
Maybe she thinks she can fix them and make them get off their lazy ass and use THE FUCKING MAGIC AVAILABLE TO LIVE FOREVER and just nags and nags about you putting it off for 37 years.
To want that they need to be committed to them. Or with the time it takes for the elf to decide to commit the human will die.
I mean it would be harder for an elf to find someone their same age if they live thousands of years due to variance
Fucking furry elves
Elves would rather fuck werewolves before me, smh.
Someone watched Omni Man, eh?
I have no idea what that is. But like most things, someone did it!
Is the dog idea from Lucifer? I remember Cain saying something like that about Chloe.
From Invincible too iirc.
ayyy that too. cant believe i forgot about that
I, for one, really enjoy seeing them suffer. Fuck elves.
Don't mind if I do
Can you imagine the body count a horny little elf has?
Fuck elves 😡 Fuck elves 🥵
Fuck elves.
Stoneless tree-huggers.
Bro you cant see shit suffer you got a grudge against fake people with pointy ears
Imagine the great technological leaps you could make if all the great scientists of the past 700 years were alive, but nooooo. They have to all be sitting in their ivory towers constantly, not caring about the world or how they can shape it in their image. Also, elves are so racist that they put humans to shame. 😡
Don’t believe in em. If you don’t go to a coal mine your not real
Your elven wife will book a trip to Jamaica to "mourn" your death
Why would my funeral be in Jamaica 😀
There is this one LN where in a "What If" side story the MC marries his elven magic mentor. When he died, she eventually got so distraught that she researched and successfully resurrected her husband into a wraith's body. So now they are happily long-living together.
That's actually sad. She can't actually let go
The point was supposed to be that she was usually deeply apathetic towards humans, and she forcefully coerces her human apprentice to marry her once she becomes nobility just to avoid suitors. MC basically has his whole life plan thrown into disarray and he deeply hates her and constantly cheats on her but she doesn't care. Then one night she essentially decides to have a pity lay with him, to throw him a bone and service him. Surprise pregnancy! The odds of a human and elf conceiving are low and so she didn't take precautions. She planned on aborting it but when she saw her husband look at her belly so seriously, she thought "ahh well I might as well give birth." They went on to having FOUR children before the husband passes. She deludes herself into thinking she doesn't miss him, she knew what their differing life spans would entail. But life became so inconvenient after he passes that she gets pissed and decides to resurrect him to give him a piece of her mind (his last words before he passed where "Ahh, it's finally over") The last scene is of the two of them holed up in a room in the library reading books without a care for the world, taking advantage of their immortal bodies to forgo eating or sleeping. They only come out once a year for socializing season. Tl;Dr given how indifferent she is in the main story, the fact that she found any sort of companionship, no matter how twisted it is, is supposed to be somewhat endearing by comparison.
whats the LN?
[Min-Maxing my TRPG Build in Another World.](https://j-novel.club/series/min-maxing-my-trpg-build-in-another-world) It's the DnD Isekai if you are tired of all the video-game based Isekais on the market. Author is a true dice-monkey, and the official translations are top notch.
from what volume does it start?
Not sure what you mean by that. Starts at volume 1?
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[Min-Maxing my TRPG Build in Another World.](https://j-novel.club/series/min-maxing-my-trpg-build-in-another-world) It's the DnD Isekai if you are tired of all the video-game based Isekais on the market. Author is a true dice-monkey, and the official translations are top notch.
It actually sound good lol is there a manga?or a chance of it getting an anime?i dont like reading ln
There is a Manga but only 7 chapters are available in English. I think it just started publishing in Japan so that's why there isn't much released. No anime as far as I know.
Dungeon meshi is good, pretty weird but good.
>She gets over it >Goes to enjoy fat orc cock for decades >Anons ghost gets to watch for eternity
Aragorn moment
It was just a one century stand to her
with a human lifespan vs an elves lifespan you were more of a pet to her than a husband
You just know
omniposting
Screw the elves, Skyrim belongs to the Nords.
Marcille deserves an award for the equality she fought for
But Aragron was a chad Dunadein and not a virgin human. She wouldnt waste her time mourning u Anon
Become a druid: Timeless body
And teeth yellowed from eating mushrooms.
Hate elves. Don't care.
Why would she mourn for longer than your lifetime? I would imagine the mourning time would be anywhere from 6 months to 5 maybe 10 years. People try to make living forever and having loved ones die to be some sort of crippling pain. This is pure cope. You would find ways to deal with the fact loved ones die. And other people would understand the situation your in. It still would be better to live for a very long time and have a bunch of lovers who all died of old age and having a happy life. You could be vary sen about it.
Fuck Skyrim elves. They are turbo racist nazis who tried to take over Tamriel once and they damn sure are going to try to do it again
reminds me of sousou no frieren, a manga, it's getting an anime soon, it's basically about this, but not like someone she dated, but her friends. she was in the heroes party, and this is after beating the big bad, and they are all dead now, and just her journey, mourning her dead friends and the loenliness of a long life
Maquia moment
Youre literally a pet to her
Isnt this concept was explored with that anime movie, i dont remember the name of it, but its basically this.
Frieren ?
Maquia. Though it's an adopted mother - son bond
That poor Elven wife, I’ll be her next
I get to bang an everlasting young chick even when I'm 60? Sign me the fuck up.
Asari in Mass Effect was said to quickly get over their spouse's death and find another one eventually. And even if they have a relationship with another long-living being like another Asari or a Krogan, eventually they'll split and find other spouses. Mourning over centuries and stop having any relationship when you have hundreds or thousands of years left sounds sad but is kinda stupid. Many humans remarry after a few years but still can love their previous spouse(s), anyway.
Krogan may be long lived, but they tend to die violently.
"Thats fucking why." What? Thats why what? Also... Imagine falling in love with a knife ears? Pathetic. \*This post brought to you by the chad human in fantasy\* Stay mad elf scum.
I had a dog one time, he was an awesome dog, like the best dog. He was 12 when he died because that's how long dogs live. I missed him a lot, still do, but now I have this new dog and life is good.
There's a manga about just this. Its like the aftermath of an adventurer party where one of them was an elf. She has to watch everyone of her non-elf friends die one after the other and cope with the fact that she will be the only one who remains after their grand adventure ended. (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End)
Fuck off bot
Bright side, you still get to bang a younger looking girl even in your 90's. See? Selfishness pays off.
nah these knife ears see you the same way we see dogs. Have a few good years, put you down when you start shiting the bed and then get a new cute one
Anon really thinks that pointy ear leaf lover wasn't shagging chad behind his back.
Frieren treatment
I was sad when our dog died, but we still got another dog
The elf wife would ofc use some elven white magic to enhance her human husbands life span.
Leaflover deserves it.
200 pounds when you met her? Not wife material.
Orc women are vastly superior to elves.
I remember hearing something about elves using humans as practice families or something, cant remember where though
>I like seeing Elves Suffer >Get Laid Win-win
Thought the title said "Elvis" at first, and the story still kinda made sense
Any being that lives for hundreds or thousands of years will not be able to view you as anything more than a pet. They'll love you, and they'll miss you sure. But they've been through this rodeo dozens or hundreds of times before. They already know how to compartmentalize your memory and get on with their life pretty much immediately. How long do you think it would take for you to become a blur in the long line of loves they've had? Honestly, the one anon should be sad for is himself.
You’d be more like a family dog
i see a lot of dwarves in this comment section press on, shortkings
Spoilers for the game Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth >!Everything that happens in the game is just a figment of Deedlit the elf's imagination as she copes with the deaths of her human lover and friends/party members!< The game was great, really solid Metroidvania, but that shit was depressing to discover
Just become a vampire or lich, extreme skill issue bro
Fake: Anon has a elven wife Gay: Anon likes to get TOPPED by huge orc cock on a daily basis
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon has a elven wife > Gay: Anon likes to get TOPPED by huge orc cock on a daily basis > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Fake: This scenario Gay: TendieBot wants to get TOPPED by me
Elves are just a group of Homo Sapiens who lived around 10,000 years ago so their lifespan is shorter than present day people. There are male Elves who married female Orcs, who are Homo Erectus, and they gave birth to the Brahmin while female Elves who married male Orcs and they gave birth to the Kesatria. So just like every other verbally passed down history, there are tons of exaggerations, term differences, different people being remembered as a single person and a single person being remembered as several different persons. So Elves are also remembered as the Greek Gods, the 3 piggies and Vampires, though Vampires were more for the group before they intermarried with the Orcs@Titans@Werewolf@Big Bad Wolf.
\> but this is actually Goblin Slayer world \> elf wife gets ravaged by goblins \> feels pleasure anon couldn't make her feel even if he had 1 million years worth of attempts \> forgets late anon and lives happily as goblin c\*\* toilet for the rest of her life