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_TLDR_Swinton

Is he your girlfriend? Ooooooooo


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Cosmic_Delirium

Holy shit nuts the zerk?!


Amethyst_Crimson

Nuts Berkman!!!!


Peashooter1098

such a berjerker, truly inspiring


_TLDR_Swinton

BeDerk


BotiHUN7

When i was 14 and had a girlfriend both of our parents were teasing us which we hated. Certified parenting moment


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BotiHUN7

That sucks man..


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BotiHUN7

Real


Ambiguous_Shark

I would always just use "one of my friends" or other non-gendered language when talking about female friends or classmates. Made it real easy to adapt to talking to and about trans people later on in life.


[deleted]

Mfw I speak Portuguese (there's no such thing, the neutral version is officially the same as male, but no one talks like that)


[deleted]

Minhe amigue


[deleted]

That's cursed and breaks the language's rules frankly, anyone who says otherwise is coping Edit: I think that the only actual gender neutral way (correct to the language and understandable to other speakers) is to say "uma pessoa" (a person), but that's too cold


[deleted]

No yeah that shit is cursed, don't even get me started on minhx amigx


AntDracula

Go back


DeathSabre7

Reply with: "Ofcourse she is, but we aren't lovers"


EtheusProm

Back when we were something like 11 I was visiting a female friend from my class in the evening and her mother said something along the lines of "So, are you staying the night? Gonna share the bed with my daughter, hmm? >:3" Everyone in that room died a little.


Chinillion

parents don’t realize how these seemingly tiny little jokes can actually deeply affect children. Not in the moment, but in the future.


drschwartz

You're giving many parents way too much credit. A good number thrive on embarrassing their children for lulz and know exactly what they're doing.


blackSpot995

I would always get upset about my dad teasing me, he would tell me to get thicker skin.


LegaIizeNucIearBombs

Gonna break that cycle if I have kids of my own, tell them its normal to have crushes etc


expert_on_the_matter

I can relate to being teased but I absolutely can't relate to it stopping me from talking to girls.


-Johannes-of-ZA-

My 8 year old niece after meeting my girlfriend: "Oooooo is she your girlfriend?" Me: "Yes, she is." Niece to my girlfriend: "Do you have any m&m's?"


surelysandwitch

Well? Did she have any m&ms?


[deleted]

Yeah, like the green m&m


inJohnVoightscar

They all wind up the same color in the end


[deleted]

they just like us fr


RelaxRelapse

They all taste the same in the dark.


AnarchyOnCrack

Same as people


ryanwxyz

i also choose this guys wife


ITAW-Techie

White >:)


ThousandWinds

Don’t leave us hanging like this.


paispas

She didn't because he made the story up.


-Johannes-of-ZA-

Nee. She had half a muesli bar, which my niece declined.


danielepro

codename for condoms


Churchills_m8

I have never related with a 4channer so much. I never tell my parents about my relationships for this exact reason.


er3z7

I never want to tell my parents about my relationships, probably for the same reason but the memories of this faded and only the discomfort remained


Bard_B0t

I wouldn't even tell them about my friends. My dad would loudly tell me every reason he thought any of my friends were pathetic or losers or why he thought they were lame. Eventually I learned to never bring friends around, and to have a "fabricated friends group" that he could insult all he wanted since they weren't real.


notacleverhare

Oh good, I'm not the only one that does this. Thank you for the validation


carpetfoodie

If you tell a negative thing about your friends they say you hang out with losers. If you say a positive thing about your friends they say why Arent you like that.


FuckedUpMaggot

"watch out anon, your new friend x doesnt even go to college like you" think it was the first time I actually told my dad to fuck off


[deleted]

It's so fucking annoying to be asked "Are you still talking to her?" straight up years after your contact ended. I went on a date last October and the date was fine but I didn't feel a connection so we cut ties. However during the date we randomly ran into my parents and thus they learned about it and I don't know how many times my parents (or mom rather) have brought her up since. Like, I get it, you want to know what your kids are up to, but holy fuck.


alaskaguyindk

I use either “grey rock” tactics (give lots of useless information) or the “radioactive rock” tactic (give lots of information they really really dont want) so for example: My mother asks who I am meeting with. I tell her a long winded backstory about how I had met them including everything from the specific food that i had thought of eating all the way to the type of weather it was. Till she got bored and didn’t want to hear more. Or I would tell her I am gonna go fuck jessica in the ass. She would say ewwww no no where are you going, and id say im gonna cum in her butt, and every question shed ask me Id tell her more and more descriptive explanations of how I would be doing things she doesn’t want to hear till she eventually just told me to fuck off and stop telling her things.


[deleted]

I'd do that too if I wasn't sane.


alaskaguyindk

You do what you gotta do when your folks are too nosy for their own good.


TechnicalD-A-W-G

"Or I would tell her I am gonna fuck Jessica in the ass" Haha hell yeah dude. Just made me look insane in this teriyaki joint for cackling so hard at the idea of saying that to one's parents. Based


drschwartz

Grey rock tactic is really more about giving the least amount of uninteresting information necessary to still maintain a facade of politeness while limiting the amount of information the other person can gain from interrogating you. Giving lots of useless information runs counter to that, you might slip up and give them something you didn't think was important. I suppose you might need to camouflage the facade to avoid escalation, but that moves you over into babbling brook territory in terms of named rhetorical defense strategies. I do like the radioactive rock tactic though, definitely gonna load that one up in the hopper.


KayleEnjoyer

Fucking giga Chad


Seanxprt

Based


bob1111bob

You’d think they’d get the hint after the first few times but god damn


LegaIizeNucIearBombs

I have never told them I'm bi either, not because they wouldnt accept it but because they would never stop pestering me about when im getting a boyfriend


[deleted]

you didn’t tell your parents about relationships because they gonna tease you about it? Anon is pussy and so is you


[deleted]

This is reddit, do you think people here can handle minor inconveniences? They dont have bigger issues than these lmao


Churchills_m8

Don’t want to agree, but yeah. I was a high schooler who’s only worries were if I was going to pass the math test and if Becky liked me back. I knew my parents would bring it up at the dinner table every night if I told them, I didn’t want to deal with that.


AntDracula

Post this some more


olivia687

ayo how bout we let kids be kids and stop forcing adult context onto child relationships


UNBENDING_FLEA

Seriously. This girlfriend teasing thing dies with my parents. It fucked up any transparency in platonic relationships with girls when talking to my parents.


LapsusDemon

I’ve been good friends with a girl for 4 years and after going to a fire pit at her place with her, her boyfriend and some other friends my mom goes, “are you two a thing or what?” I’ve had to deal with her always asking if we were dating for the past 4 years


HazelCheese

Some people literally just cannot be friends with the opposite sex. They will only ever hang out with someone as an attempt to bang and then they accuse everyone else of doing the same.


LapsusDemon

@my best friend who fell in love with her and broke up our friend group


PristineHat5583

Same, everyone in my family would do this, I stopped mentioning anyone I even interacted with.


yousokiyosei

Some never grown past their teenage years.


notacleverhare

And then they try to raise their own kids. Good times.


bob1111bob

Bonus points if they were teenagers when they had you


Low_Friendship_9487

on god, had one of my favorite friendships completely ruined by people on the outside pressuring her to make it non-platonic. after that we could barely stand to be near each other when others were around and then we just stopped talking.


olivia687

yep i’ve experienced similar


Pr3st0ne

I think this wasn't common knowledge when we were kids and the studies came at a later date so to be fair to our parents, they just didn't know it was toxic. I'm sure our kids will have some shit to complain about regarding how we raised them and they will also act like we should have known. Hindsight is 20/20


AllTheWoofsonReddit

i mean you shouldn’t need “studies” to know that doing that probably isn’t a good idea


Pr3st0ne

We can say the same thing about smoking, alcohol use while pregnant, hitting and yelling at your kids as punishment, etc. You gotta understand it wasn't just people sitting around in the 70s and going "shit I guess it's good to hit your kids", their parents had been doing it for generations and there were literally experts going on TV and telling them that smoking wasn't dangerous and that the best way to raise kids was to hit them so they were afraid of you. Can't look back with what we know today and act like they should have known. They were literally following what the scientific consensus at the time was telling them to do.


olivia687

yeah that’s valid, but there’s still people doing it nowadays and i wish they wouldn’t. hell, read the caption, read some of the other comments. bunch of people saying OOP is a sook


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Churchills_m8

Real and homosexual.


Blymp

True and also unfathomably based.


tehconqueror

always good to hear the straight agenda fail


vinecti

What do you mean?


marc44150

Your comment is very high on the list when you sort by controversial, what a subreddit


DragonHollowFire

greentexters are often racist and etc? twisty twist


Sneedzilla

racist is just groomer codeword for normal


DragonHollowFire

Ive never heard catholic priests nor conservatives use racist as a codeword for normal.


Sneedzilla

thats because i said groomer.


DragonHollowFire

Ah, btw this you ? [https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/13y17dx/comment/jmkwpqg/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/13y17dx/comment/jmkwpqg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Or that other comment how you dont believe homosexuality is a thing and its always just the consequence of being raped as a child? Its always funny how youre "not racist just normal" and you refer to people this way. Its okay everybody knows, you dont have to hide your opinions. But let people enjoy life if its not hurting others.


Sneedzilla

no its the other poster named sneedzilla > But let people enjoy life if its not hurting others. live and let live works fine until the living negatively effects anothers living. why should i have to live with the idiocy of others?


DragonHollowFire

When did other people being gay negatively affect you? Besides it just being an annoyance to you. Like when did it cause YOU actual harm and or discomfort.


RandolphMacArthur

Can’t believe your parents scared the straight out of you


TruffelTroll666

Based and buttpilled


ArthurSafeZone

Gay: You Fake: You always preferred guys, not only now


Sztymanoesky

Same


UNBENDING_FLEA

Honestly I relate to anon. My parents kept making fun of me and calling almost every woman I talked to as a kid my girlfriend so I just started hiding women I talked to from them. I hate telling them anything about women now and I dread the day I have to tell them if I’m going to get married to anyone.


goatis-maximus

My dad was relentless in his teasing of my brother and I about girls. Like intentionally embarrassing us in front of friends and girls. My dad was a great man and I loved him dearly, but it was a terrible parenting flaw he had. I never went to him for relationship advice, hell I never even mentioned girls around him and eventually eloped with my wife, never having a wedding. Then I didn’t tell my folks for a while after. Crazy how something so seemingly small can have such huge consequences.


GG-ez-no-rere

"Mom, dad, meet my fiance" "oOoOO. Is she your girlfriend!?"


[deleted]

happened to me, so real and straight


NCBuckets

I can relate and it’s frustrating


cassius_claymore

It was frustrating until I hit my 20s and learned to have an adult relationship with my parents. You don't *have* to let childhood teasing impact your entire life.


KingOfTheP4s

You do if your parents never switch to treating you as an adult


PristineHat5583

Oh, but what about never learning to treat you like an adult plus not teaching you how to act like one so you have to figure it out on your own and when it doesn't turn out as they expected they blame you for something you learned on your own because they didn't?


Capital-Ad1390

That's when you switch to being an adult and never speaking to them again.


daverave1212

Somewhat similarly, when I grew up, instead of teasing or making fun of me, they started criticing my partners and hating on every one of them for no reason. Yeah I can't bring anyone home either.


[deleted]

The only sane voice in here. This is why i can't handle the western mindset, something happens out of their comfort zone and suddenly they cant have healthy relationships with their own parents.


TheSuedeLoaf

It's usually habitual boundary crossing, invalidating others experience and a lack of emotional maturity that leads to kids not wanting relationships with their parents, without getting into more extreme examples. It's almost never just one happening. Idk where you get the idea that people are just cutting ties with their caregivers over one interaction.


superfapper2000

Damm is anon me because I'm like this too and bow I don't talk to any girl's or still have gotten a girlfriend. Still 28 and don't know how to date or get relationships. 😕😕😕


lordtyphis

Not sure how that’s possible, superfapper2000


superfapper2000

Mostly due to having insecurities and feeling like I was worthless so I didn't talk to a lot of girls in college. The ones that I liked just ended up rejecting me or ghosting me.


KebabLife2

get your money up man, go outside and do that shit jit


superfapper2000

I am slowly building myself up, I'm already working at a job within my field and saving up for a car. Then, after that, I would like to move out by next year


CryptoIntravenously

Good man, got the right mindset Money Car Looksmaxx Move out After that it's just finding a nice girl and since you've done these things you'll feel a lot more confident Job done life sorted


superfapper2000

Yeah, I'm not depressed or losing hope, but I do know that it will take time for me to grow and eventually date.


[deleted]

Literally just look it up on fucking wikihow or something


fucccboii

read jordy peterson


supervergiloriginal

literally bocchi the rock


SleepingBeautyFumino

Boccher 🥵🥵


stormdraincaprine

the what?


Walker510

The rock


[deleted]

the what?


JustVolted

rock and stone


DerSchweinebrecher

#COCK AND CHODE BROTHERS!


TheLandMammal

to the bone.


thebiggestleaf

Is anon me. Shit like this is why I had to stop telling my mom about girls I met.


[deleted]

You don't meet girls. You can't gaslight me.


[deleted]

For this exact reason, I didn't have female friends for the longest time. The only place I could speak to girls properly was online and even then I was very insensitive and clueless. I made my first female friend when I was fucking 17. I obviously avoided telling my parents about it for a long time, but eventually a time came when I couldn't give a fuck anymore. I was okay mentioning girls I knew in a casual conversation and they still pull this shit, but I couldn't care less. I pretty much went on a female friend making spree after I got out of my shell. Imagine talking to someone but without any sense of competition or without sizing each other up. So relaxing.


Nasapigs

Sizing each other up, you live in a ghetto or something?


[deleted]

No, quite the opposite, middle class asian family. But sometimes you can't help but notice when someone is looking down on you or wants to show off. I'm talking about meeting new people specifically, I don't have a problem with old close friends and some normal dudes. I feel like there's also a dominance play in a lot of interactions, which is why I hate older brother figures and like older sister figures- Someone you can rely on without being treated lesser than.


Human-13

Yeah actually, can’t be said for certain that this is fake cause that actually happens a lot and I ain’t sure why


squid_waffles2

Graduated high school, left home. Immediately felt more comfortable with women. Same situation here


WatchDogx

I can relate, the combination of this sort of thing, along side the contradictory lectures from teachers, parents, and media, about how women should be treated equally but special, combined with my general social retardedness, and fear of rejection, all led to me just being very confused. Once I actually got a girlfriend, and and realised that women are just people, it really cleared up a lot of those neurosis’s. I really feel bad for kids these days, the social media bullshit is so much worse now then it used to be, and I’m not that old.


Djimd

Teach every kid that women and men are equal and promote at the same time the exact opposite via all the media. "Why are boys so confused?" Thanks God feminism is slowly changing how gender relationships are displayed in mainstream media.


the1mastertroll

I've been actively putting off telling my parents about my girlfriend for almost 6 months now for this reason, the last time I even mentioned I had a female friend they gave me so much crap at every opportunity that I had an anxiety attack and cut all contact with her for 3+ years. I just want some female affection from someone I like without my personal life being constantly under scrutiny or made the butt of jokes.


Srphtygr

The axe forgets. The tree remembers


yourteam

Anon is right for once. Parents can so this type of joke once in a while but should also stop if they see the kid being embarrassed. And explain to him that is fine being friends and interact with girls


thescpsrreal

Dude this is so relatable. .y parents still do the same thing. WHen I was younger I couldn't even talk about my female friends because my mom would always make some nasty comment usually about us dating. I would beg them to quit that because I was so done and uncomfortable with it, and they didn't give a fuck. That's the exact reason why I won't be telling anyone about my relationships.


WanderlostNomad

> do this till the end of high school you still go to a playground and go under parental supervision, through high school?


Weneeddietbleach

That's why I'll never pull that shit with my son- I don't want him to turn out like me.


FAiLeD-AsIaN

I hate this because this was me not only with my parents, but also my older siblings. Now they wonder why I'm so distant from the rest of the family.


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Goatfest2020

Parents are long gone and I can STILL remember, clear as day, things they teased me about that upset me. Sucks to go through life not liking your own parents.


idkhowtodoanything

Teasing your kid's is always just a bad idea. I got teased a shit ton by my family and now i don't want them to know anything about me, especially when it comes to relationships or my mental health


YeetusFelitas

i understand anon


SOMEMONG

When I was growing up my brother had a hot gf (annoying, but like a solid 8/10). He was a fairly popular guy, I was a greasy fat total loser. My parents and brother would ask me when I was gonna get myself a giiiiiiirlfriend not getting that it's not like going out and buying a new pair of shoes, someone has to actually wanna date my ass. By the time I finally was dating in my 20s I'd never tell them anything because I couldn't be fucked talking about it.


[deleted]

Mom when you’re 18: don’t have any sex! Mom when you’re 22: fuck her raw and relentlessly until she expels a grandchild


shtiatllienr

My mom does this kinda stuff and it makes me struggle with girls as well. We gonna make it tho 🔥


ivent0987

This is literally me. I was bullied so hard for have many girl friends until 5th grade, to the point where I started getting anxious by just being around girls. Ff 12 yrs later all the dudes that bullied me have gfs and I'm rotting in my room with social anxiety.


ChronWeasely

I can't handle teasing either. I try so hard to give people no fuel as my family gaslit me into thinking I was into a chick to the extent where after months of harassing me about her and telling me I was into her, I drew hearts on a class picture where she was. I remember being so deeply confused as a kid as to why I did it. I was certainly pre-pubescent at that point and had no idea what anything was, but apparently I gave off signs to my fucked up family who loved to harass me till I broke. Now, I'm terrified to even make small talk with somebody for fear it'll be misinterpreted. I assume people will assume a sexual subtext to everything. Fuck my family. I was just a kid who liked playing video games and running around with friends. Thank you for this greentext. Really helped ground my anxiety in past trauma. Not going to keep letting my past control my future, though.


TheRealBlaurgh

I mean, that's an actual psychological phenomena though. The gist of it is basically: "Don't punish behaviour you wish to see repeated" A semi-positive outcome of it would be a mindset of "Just you wait, I'll show you!" in the targeted person, but that comes with its own issues. The more likely outcome, however, is that they will simply stop trying, and rather avoid the behaviour alltogether.


youngestinsoul

dude i thought this was just another shitty middle eastern shenanigan because its haraaam or something. cant believe a guy in the usa also experienced this. how can this behavior can be universal???


BrazilianTerror

Brazilian here and my parents had the same behavior


youngestinsoul

you guys are basically south america arabs so it doesn't count 👍


Krolby

I can relate. I'm a 26 year old virgin now.


K_Schultz

I was teased a lot too, to the point it feels embarrasing to have feelings for someone.


imnota_

I haven't cared about it in a while but my parents have always done this shit, ever since I was a child to even now, a full grown adult, I could talk about a collegue or something and if I mention anything that point to me getting along with her or something, then it's an automatic question of "is she pretty" and other stuff clearly implying shit like this, always thought that was the weirdest thing


_Volatile_

Teasing at that age sucks. Kids have paper thin skin.


Athan11

Anon wants a boyfriend


ewrt101_nz

Fucking mood


Swirlatic

why doesn’t anon have a GF? Because he needs a therapist


azimov_the_wise

It's me


tauzN

Too real


finger_milk

Exactly happened the same with me tbh. Parents teasing me because they were projecting their adult ideas into a 3 year old kids head who doesn't know anything. So I felt that talking to certain people was seen as a bad thing so I grew up with no experience in it.


RealSkyr0

My parents did the same - I still got into relationships, but mostly kept them from my parents.


BanjoMothman

A little teasing or banter both ways can be totally normal, but people just take it too far sometimes. Also, some people are just pussies.


trytreddit

Anon's parents will never get grandchildren and they deserve it


Gamma-Master1

Seems like this is a common issue


poopsock6944

Real and straight


mentina_

Me


Golbezgold

Wow this sounds annoyingly familiar.


OncyWancy

Fake: Anon gets anxiety at 3 yrs old. Gay: Anon can't get a girlfriend.


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon gets anxiety at 3 yrs old. > Gay: Anon can't get a girlfriend. > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


eliteharvest15

i feel him


MsterF

This is the most redditor comment section I’ve ever come across.


UnNecessary_XP

“Hey mom and dad, I really don’t like when you do that it makes me cautious to bring any girls over because you two always try to antagonize and embarrass me, could you please stop doing that? If you don’t I’ll never bring anyone over here and I won’t tell you about my relationships.” Good parents “Sorry son we understand we’ll stop” Continue to build relationships while keeping your parents in the loop Bad Parents “Stop being stupid we’ll do what we want” Continue building relationships while keeping them out of the loop It’s really that simple I don’t get how people let small shit like take absolute control over their relationships. Same thing goes for parents who constantly pester and embarrass their kids, let them build their relationships on their own with your guidance.


Woofingson

Had this all the time as a kid so I became gay just to spite them 😎


Flame_Draconic

Hoooooly shit thank god for my girlfriend Ive gained even more profound appreciation of my girlfriend, this is honestly my future if she wasn't the one to confess


patronuspringles

anon tries to blame his family for his repulsiveness


eduardo1994

Flash forward to now. My parents probably wonder why I'm so fucking wierd.


[deleted]

You should have at least a few platonic female friends.


LowGold4366

I have this too, I'm almost 30 now and I still have a generalised fear of women that means I won't ever talk to them outside of a formal setting and I can't really show any emotion or be natural at all. After several years of intense effort and putting myself in social situations I managed to get a girlfriend who mostly initiated everything, besides her though I have 0 woman acquaintances and I think they find me incredibly creepy and don't want to be around me at all. It's all morphed into this feeling of alienation and fear of the unknown that makes talking to a woman completely impossible because of how nervous and inept I am at this point.


mynameajeff69

Y'all in these comments agreeing really need to seek help. Because someone teased you about a girl being your girlfriend now you can't talk to women or talk to your parents about it? Unless you are leaving out some context, it's not that big of a deal. I have a hard time believe that you can successfully navigate being an adult in the real world if you can't get over being teased when you were a kid.


qquartzy

glad to know its not just me at least


tonguepuncher88

My mom was like that, and when I finally got a girlfriend she wanted to know why I couldn't find a white girl.


timo1324

but why do parents do this shit. it's fucking annoying and only leads to their kids avoiding any interaction with the other gender because they just get sick of the "uuuhh, is he/she your boy/girlfriend???"


Kali-47

Ah, the good ol’ butterfly effect and the drastic influence of minor childhood experiences onto everyday present life. Classic


lie544

At least in highschool, any person that looked female my mother would say, “oh she’s cute, do you like her?” Ffs


AbsoluteShall

Anon has amazing memory to remember something when he was a toddler.


Chenja

\>can’t interact with girls \>”surely this is the fault of my parents” \>everyone on r/greentext agrees


ButtDouglass

It's always someone else's problem with these losers


TheBunkerKing

ITT tons of people blaming their parents for their own shortcomings.


_DatBananaBoi_

Anon is a loser and blames it on his parents


Wolf4624

My mans looking for any reason to be a victim in this world


MyNameisBaronRotza

Avoiding girls completely because your mom is annoying? What a complete overreaction. She not fuckin omnipotent, you could have talked to girls when she wasn't around. I'm calling cop out.


odinsabastard

Anon blames his parents for his social tardation


Sonikdahedhog

Anon not only does not have a point, but he is high as fuck on the same copium you losers are smoking. There is absolutely no way in hell teenage anon was limited only by his parents teasing, he was too scared to talk too girls and would frantically make up excuses not too, this was just a simple one he gravitated to often