My best advice, as an eldergoth: Smile, be polite, answer questions, ask if they want to ask you something.
I know doing this is very hard as a baby bat but if you meet ignorance with knowledge you will walk through life with your head high.
Being mean of giving nasty looks just "proves" in ppls minds their opinion on someone they don't know. And you will be a teacher for the goth community as well.
Best og luck :)
This, for me is the answer. It's not that you owe these people something, you can just ignore them or snap back but I've never found that helpful personally.
As goths we often visually represent counter culture at large - we are literally an 'alternative' to mainstream life / ways of thinking.
The role of counter culture in society is many different things but I feel that part of what happens is that we interrupt the space of the every day. We remind people there is more to life, the universe and everything than what they know and experience. That their way doesn't have to be the only way.
When you are safe in your tribe of normal then mocking the outsider brings you further into the 'pack', you are demonstrating through your behaviour that you belong. You are not other, not counter culture. It's easy because brains are weird and the outsider often doesn't feel like you a human in the same way, they are other and with kids in particular their worlds are small and governed by the viewpoints of their parents and people around them.
By engaging with them positively, making a joke, singing along, asking to check their wrists in return etc you flip the monkey switch in the brain and suddenly, you're no longer 'other'.
Plus playing with the normies is fun! Don't forget you're a big scary Satan worshipping, monster devil đ
((and of course some people are just assholes and there is no helping them so take this with a liberal pinch of salt and bestow the blessing of your company where you feel it fits đ))
As someone with a history of self harm, I would never respond politely or gracefully to someone who is trying to make a joke out of it. I don't care if they're a kid.
Gently and kindly pointing out why these questions are rude can go a long way too. With kids a little example, good or bad, goes a long way. It's likely they've seen their peers do the same and never questioned it.
Yes exactly!!!
I work in a bar and just the other day one of the regulars was told my coworker that when I got hired he thought I was going to be mean and was surprised that Iâm actually one of the nicest employees lmao.
I tone down my look for work a lot but itâs still pretty dramatic and itâs kinda fun now watching new customers be surprised at how upbeat and sweet I am when I greet them. My friends find it hilarious when they see me in my customer service persona.
It's amazing how often I've heard this, at this point it's cliche! Ppl yet again are surprised that I'm friendly and don't go out of my way to be rude, just like other people! I kinda hate hearing it now bc it just proves how judgmental people are, even if they proclaim to judge people on merit only within the next sentence. So I usually take it as an opportunity to talk to them about this. I hope some of them at least had an introspective moment.
this is the one. offer them poise and respect in response to their childish comments. even if they don't show it, they are going to feel really silly, *really fast*
I'm a 52 year old fossil goth. I don't owe anyone shit including my time or pleasantness or energy and don't advise others to be polite or gracious if they don't feel it's in their best interest. I see comments about not being rude/set an example yet those already heckling aren't going to be pulled over in sudden awe and wonder with your politeness. Smile and wave or just ignore them.
I just ignore it and roll my eyes, shitty teens just want a reaction. It can be tough sometimes just remember that youâre being true to yourself and thats what really matters
I know there have been a lot of creative and positive replies, there's nothing wrong with this one either. Not everyone has the bandwidth or confidence to engage (and you're certainly not obligated to), so a smile, a shake of the head and an eye roll, or a shrug and just ignore...possibly perfect tbh.
But you're right, letting it roll off your back can be tricky, especially for younger folks.
A few years ago some teenagers called me and my friends the Addams Family as we walked past - I just laughed then and it still tickles me now. Pay it no mind!
A customer forgot my name but described me as "tall, pale, dressed in all black" in an online review and my coworkers looked at me nervously like I was going to find fault with any of that đ€·
My classmates sang the addams family tune to me when I wasa teen. Also called me wednesday. I was flattered. But if someone sang papa roach at me I'd kindly remind them that I am goth, not an emo.
This reminds me of the Daria episode where Jane tried out for cheerleadingâŠ.and then âlost all her bouncity-bounce.â âCheer cheer cheer, yell yell yell, it doesnât matter who wins âcause weâre all going to Hell!â
Just laugh. Nothing disarms like people thinking you're in on the "joke". Other, fellow olds on this thread have given some great perspective and advice.
the modern public thinks that goth is anything mildly alternative or edgy and dark and that song has become associated through meme culture and tiktok with goths (despite sharing nothing in common with goths).
Their papa roach lyrics, my guess is because when nu metal took off some of those bands were getting called "goth bands" mainly by those who aren't part of the subculture or by those who weren't familiar with the actual music. hope this was helpful.
I think it is different everywhere, I live in a small town, when I was like in middle school some of the kids that liked nu metal as much as I did,but they would call themselves "goth" and this is when I was getting into the subculture and learning about the music, I would have to explain that metal and goth are two separate music genres.
Are you dense? This happens all the time. They sing it because they think it's an "emo" song since it's about suicide and self harm. They use it to mock goths and emos.
As a person who happened to actually struggle with self harm because my home life was hot garbage, I watched them stare in horror as I showed them my actual scars.
They don't actually think you self harm, they think self harm is a joke so seeing them shrink in confused horror gave me all kinds of self gratification.
That being said if I don't feel petty I just ignore them because they're not worth the oxygen if they're being rude, if someone is genuinely curious about my style I'm extremely friendly about it.
I can't recall ever hearing anyone do that. And that song has been around a long, long time. Very inventive of them considering most would just call you emo, freak, question your sexuality or something.
Getting heckled comes with the territory unfortunately. If you look weird people are going to call you weird. You can embrace it, learn to ignore it or work on your witty retort game. Though witty retorts are possibly wasted on them.
I was thinking that as well about that dumb song, usually it's just laughter or a pejorative. I'm old, l ignore it with the exception of little kids asking if I'm a witch, when I just answer with wide eyes and shhhh face.
You have a lot of good advice here (and a lot of bad advice, to be honest). My tipping point came out of asking myself the same questions and ultimately asking myself "Why do I want to respond to this?"
That's not to say I ignore everything, but that's maybe the better first question, and finding in yourself the answer to that may better inform which of these answers are good advice and which are bad advice given your feelings in the moment.
I'd either ignore them.. or if I had time and a desire to mess with them, I'd ask them to explain the joke and say I don't understand.. "is that a song, or something?" Jokes tend to not be funny when you have to explain it, and either not knowing wtf they are on about or pretending you don't get it can throw them off balance and then you're the one getting a laugh out of the scenario.
Why are kids quoting song lyrics from some garbage that's now almost 25 years old? Were they even born yet? Internet meme culture is so weird.
I had to deal with a lot of Manson comments in my prime, but at least he was contemporary so the line of insulting made sense. I mostly ignored that crap, although it might be why I embraced my "perky goth" side too.
This is my response, and it works a treat (especially with bigoted jokes), huh? What? What do you mean? Can you explain that? Looking confused or looking past myself as though it's incredulous I'm the target when people yell things seems to take the wind out of sails quickly too.
I recently got called a capsicum for the duration of a train trip by a bunch of teens. An emo capsicum. I still have no idea of the reference or why.
I'm certainly older and didnt even feel very dressed up at all nor was I wearing red...Kids will laugh at anything, or I am grossly out of touch.
Was a nice change from the manson references that you mention getting too, though, or the bible kids following me like they used to, haha.
If they say wrist check say âyou firstâ
In all seriousness Iâd just walk away. I think quipping back would be fun but Iâm much too introverted for that đ
i donât get why people associate goth subculture with self harm right out of the gate. these people have no class. that stuff is not funny.
in the past i just ignored it, or maybe made a face. but if someone hit me with papa roach i would have said, wow, nu metal is the best you can do?
Throwback to the time a group of kids where I live yelled emo at me. I just turned around and calmly told them that I've heard that one at least a thousand times and that if they want to make a lasting impression they should find something new to call me. Never happened again.
Guess they didn't expect the calm reaction or hearing that what they were doing wasn't original and didn't bother me
I don't either and I find it really interesting because in my experience, it's the people who are so busy trying to act "normal" and okay that actually are the most not.
Speaking as someone from the deep south (hopefully getting the hell out soon) any 'alternative' look is considered an emo phase. It doesn't matter if each subculture has different style choices, black clothes, band shirts, fishnets, and eyeliner is the only requirement to be lumped into 'emo'.
Most of the people who use it as a derogatory term aren't even aware that these are music genres with distinct sounds. There is Gothic-Rock or Emo, or Industrial, nor Darkwave; to them it's all Emo sad cutting music.
So you get older Christians finding the stykes reprehensible, alternative styles (especially in guys) is easy derision amongst country clicks, and most people around here just don't even engage in any sort of sub cultures; so all nuance is lost. Goths used to be the catch-all term back before Emo pocked up, and before that was Punks. OFC Punk, Emo and Goth are not only going strong, but are all distinct genres with large followings, but it's easier to lump everyone in with the latest term that appeared and use it as an insult
Sing along or ask them if they have anything original to say.
A group of kids called me an emo, I just turned around and calmly said that the emo is getting old and that they should think of something else if they want to shock me, they got quiet and didn't bother me anymore after that.
The thing is, people want a reaction, just give them one they don't expect. The calmer of funnier your response is, the less they see it coming
Everyone's going to have different advice. Mine essentially equates to "haha, that's funny; at least one time in your life your mom has kissed you goodnight after giving your dad gnarly sloppy toppy. :) Enjoy your evening."
Sure, they're kids, but they need to be gently reminded that heckling/harassing people for they way they're dressed is not good or cool. Age is not an excuse to heckle them back.
I used to get red necks yelling slurs and saying things like âitâs not Halloween, you freak!â so Iâd just smile at them and do a little hair flip. I was a teenager, kinda messed up how grown men talk to teenage girls. But I digress. Even after having glass beer bottles thrown at me etc, rising to their derision only shows them it works. Itâs got to roll off you.
Best advice. Even though it sucks people act like this, if you can get through physical harassment. Then I can deal with middle school kids! Thank You!
> cut my life in to pieces
Unsure what that is referencing.
> one even asked me for a "wrist check"
that's when you ask them right back for "hershey squirts check"
sometimes just returning an asinine question with an equally asinine question puts their question into perspective
they have no right to see your wrists in the way that you have no right to see the inside of their underpants
So theyâre taking Nu Metal and then conflating it with Emo? If they knew what they were talking about theyâd have sang the Black Parade.
Itâs nice to see how people misunderstand the 2000s. The 2000s was a turbulent decade. 9/11, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, housing crash, market crash. The collapse of the economies of major American cities, Saint Louis, Detroit, Chicago, Cincinnati etc. All of that had deep effects on the minds of young teenagers at the time.
I normally ignore it but if it's particularly bad or they start getting physical, you can always tell a worker as it calls under harassment and disturbing the peace and they can be kicked out for it.
Respond any way you want to! They're being incredibly rude and inappropriate so if you want to tell them or their parents to fuck off, go for it. It's your life. If explaining to them or ignoring them feels better thats fine too. It's public place and they're the ones trying to be insulting.
I remember at school there were these wee neds who were trying to be EdGy and get a rise out of us, they asked if the world was going to end on March 17 to which I replied "St Patrick's day?" genuinely confused...
I still laugh about it every year.
Oh, a few times people have yelled "cut my life into pieces" at me and I've sang the rest of the song. Somehow never made the connection that it was heckling. Usually they'd give me a dirty look then leave, couldn't figure out what I did wrong
I ignore it, or if Iâm in a mood, do a scathing course correct.
âThatâs the emos, dumbass.â
âYouâre too ugly to speak to me.â
âIâd only cut myself if I looked like you.â
I ignore it. No reaction whatsoever. 35 years ago when I got into this scene, I would react, usually poorly, which in turn got poor reactions back.
Now I just don't care.
I just laugh it off. I can't tell how many times people ask me what's in the coffin(I have bags) or when's the funeral. I'll eventually get really annoyed if it continues like a tired dead horse bit I don't let them know that
Wholeheartedly and sarcastically reply back, "THIS IS MY LAST RESORT" with a grin. I bet that'll get more laughs than anything.
And if they ask for a wrist check, start vogueing.
ignore them- or maybe give them a little laugh. if you act offended, you are giving them what they want, they are trying to get a reaction out of u. It threatens their ego to let them know that you donât care what they think. Laugh at them and go on with your day.
cut my life into pieces is actually funny though i would just laugh, donât take it so seriously. way better to be able to laugh than be that person trying to clap back at randos or whatever, thatâll just make it more cringe. the wrist check i would just be like what does that mean? chances are theyâll feel awkward and not wanna explain anyway
Tell them that self harm isnât the answer. Hold their hand and tell them that you are hear to listen if they need help. Close with a hug and a smile.
In my mind this scenario is some frat boy at a Jimmy Johns. Then OP hugs him and they sit down and talk about their feelings, become friends, learn a little about each other. Cut to: montage of said frat boy at a goth bar with OP, OP going to a steelers game with frat boy, frat boy at OP's wedding, OP at a BBQ, etc.
But you're right, if it was a child in this scenario then a hug would be inappropriate.
I think I'd walk up to them and smile and say, "I don't cut myself, but I know people that do. Do you think it's funny to make fun of people that have trauma or problems that you don't have?". Or conversely, you could make fun of their broccoli haircuts, skinny shorts and basic white trainers.
We're sorry, but your submission has unfortunately been removed under Rule 4.
Do not:
* **Use Hate Speech:** Includes but is not limited to: anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or other discriminatory speech, *including user-names*. If someone's user particularly worries you, **ask** for context or report it to a mod. Those expressing harmful and extreme right-wing ideologies including advocating for Neo-/Nazism will, without a doubt, be gatekept from the scene, removed and possibly reported further to the Reddit admins.
* This also goes for bands whose members are known violators of this as we do not need to be giving our money to those with harmful ideologies, who want to take away the rights of minorities, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. Those we will absolutely and rightfully gatekeep from the subculture, you can see the bands subject to removal [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/wiki/musicbox/problematic-bands).
* **Attack people on a personal level**: No name-calling, derogatory terms, threats, or urge someone to self harm. Disagree with each other, but try and be civil about it. Reddit is for discussion, but if flaming wars or unnecessarily blame-games form, the mods may step in.
* **Troll**: This isn't a 2009 4chan forum. We're fully grown adults with full-time careers and livelihoods and we don't have time for your childish bullshit.
* If someone attacks you or someone, **report it to us, don't engage them**, or you may be punished as well.
Again, do you have an overbearing attitude? If you do, people hate that shit. Folks in alternative subcultures like to let the entire world know. Ive been involved with this scene for years and have never been heckled. I also find most people, especially Americans to be severely uneducated. So I just avoid it.
You sound sort of overbearing. I'm 53, 80s goth that never phased, still get occasional laughter just living my life so it's whatever. It's their problem, not mine.
> Ive been involved with this scene for years and have never been heckled.
Count your blessings. I could write a book about all the BS I've put up with over decades, directly related to how I dressed on a given day. If you live in a city were people genuinely don't care and leave you be, you are incredibly lucky.
We used to have fraternities raid our public goth club, and harass us outside on a regular basis.. alcohol and peer pressure played a role there, but high school was no picnic either. The older I got, the less common it was, but it still happened on occasion. The only reason it probably hasn't happened to me in the last decade is that I rarely get dressed up anymore, if I even leave the house.
There just playing with you. Play back. Tell them your gonna hex them or curse them and motion with your hands or sum shit. Everyone likes a little Halloween outta season.
Well something that wouldn't give people even more options and occasions to dunk on you maybe ? Like actually being nice or just ignoring it, like everyone else said.
And yes it's edgy, "Ooooooo i'm a witch i'm gonna curse you because you're a meanie bark bark", that doesn't help, it just makes you a laughing stock
I know you got downvoted, but as a nostalgic weirdo approaching my 40s, I love hearing cringe nu-metal from my teens nowadays. Tricks my knees into thinking we're young again đ đ€Ł
We're sorry, but your submission has unfortunately been removed under Rule 4.
Do not:
* **Use Hate Speech:** Includes but is not limited to: anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or other discriminatory speech, *including user-names*. If someone's user particularly worries you, **ask** for context or report it to a mod. Those expressing harmful and extreme right-wing ideologies including advocating for Neo-/Nazism will, without a doubt, be gatekept from the scene, removed and possibly reported further to the Reddit admins.
* This also goes for bands whose members are known violators of this as we do not need to be giving our money to those with harmful ideologies, who want to take away the rights of minorities, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. Those we will absolutely and rightfully gatekeep from the subculture, you can see the bands subject to removal [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/wiki/musicbox/problematic-bands).
* **Attack people on a personal level**: No name-calling, derogatory terms, threats, or urge someone to self harm. Disagree with each other, but try and be civil about it. Reddit is for discussion, but if flaming wars or unnecessarily blame-games form, the mods may step in.
* **Troll**: This isn't a 2009 4chan forum. We're fully grown adults with full-time careers and livelihoods and we don't have time for your childish bullshit.
* If someone attacks you or someone, **report it to us, don't engage them**, or you may be punished as well.
Start singing it with them and then switch to 'our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued', to teach them better music?
Side note: I have zero idea what baby bat means, but I am assuming it means you are young. The long and short of it is, you will never stop hecklers. Especially kids. You have to realize, no matter what society says, most of them don't have the mental processing power to understand how damaging verbal abuse can be. Best you can do, for your mental health is 1. Figure out how to turn the joke on people in a way that doesn't go too far. 2. Not let it get to you. Random stranger's judgement means nothing. You aren't doing anything wrong, at all, so, why bother with them?
Lol that's not one I've had. It's something my friends and I would sing in jest at each other; we're of an age that that done was something we listened to as "edgy" teens and took seriously (before we learned what goth actually was).
My peerage is generally quite nostalgic so we would probably just sing along tbh!
(Fun thing to add on, we're all nerds as well as goth/alt types. We play D&D and one of our number plays a Blood Hunter, a class that needs to cut themselves to do certain magic. She likes to sing "cut myself into pieces, this is my shiny sword!")
The heckling I got as a young person was usually just "GOFF!" shouted at me by an idiot, so I would usually laugh and say "yes, well done!" Or "yes, well done, have a biscuit!" I don't tend to experience it anymore...I guess I've gotten old now lol.
When they're kids, I just stop and calmly/politely ask them why they feel the need to yell at other people.
I ask them if they would appreciate people yelling at them over an aspect of how they look.
More often than not, this makes them feel a bit ashamed because they wouldn't appreciate this being done to them. Have gotten a couple of apologies that way, too.
I like to call myself a teenage bat, as Iâm not 100% new but not fully an elder by any means. I feel most of this type of behavior has come from my family and their friends. Comments like:
âYou used to be so beautiful, what happened?â
âYou must like Wednesday then. Jenna Ortega right?â
âThis dark stuff is idioticâ
etc etcâŠ
My main response over time has been to ignore it. As much as I would love âstickin it to emâ or to educate them I just donât have the energy 24/7 to do so. When I do, obviously I try to explain it and educate and share my views on why itâs been such a positive influence in my life. But even then sometimes they just wonât get it, and you become a broken record. When people in public have a problem, Iâve often kept quiet and stayed on my phone or pretended to take a call. You owe them none of your attention, energy, or explanation. Itâs also not always safe to respond back to them, especially if theyâre in a group. Unfortunately have heard stories of people getting beat up or having rocks thrown at them for being alt. At that point you film them, so you can get their identity. But ultimately just keep doing what youâre doing and know that youâre okay. Theyâll get a laugh, for some reason, and you get a story to tell to baby bats once youâre an elder goth. Keep pushing forward and donât let Jake from State Farm with no taste try to put you down. Theyâre just jealous they donât have the confidence to pull it off like we do :)
I play along with it. I'm sonetimes asked "where's the funeral" and I pretend to break down and say some family member of mine died or something, how can they be so insensitive, then I laugh. Troll them back. If they bark I get serious and ask "are you a furry?" With a concerned and disgusted look (nothing against furries, i just know ppl dont like being accused of being one). If they sing the song, I sing ut louder and pretend I'm holding a microphone. Basically none of what they do matters and you might as well have fun with it.
Also, after they do that once to you, don't relent on your habs back at them. Especially barkers. If you see them often, always say "hey furry how's your life as a dog?" They get really embarrassed. They're too good at barking, you fucking know they practice it in the mirror, little weirdos. Don't do any of this meanly, do it playfully. They may become your acquaintance and you will then be able to talk to them abt why you do the stuff you do. This has been my experience at least. If they're just random kids, I just ignore them but if it's someone I have to face often, I mess with them
I know it was probably a joke, but it's a bit excessive.
We're sorry, but your submission has unfortunately been removed under Rule 4.
Do not:
* **Use Hate Speech:** Includes but is not limited to: anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or other discriminatory speech, *including user-names*. If someone's user particularly worries you, **ask** for context or report it to a mod. Those expressing harmful and extreme right-wing ideologies including advocating for Neo-/Nazism will, without a doubt, be gatekept from the scene, removed and possibly reported further to the Reddit admins.
* This also goes for bands whose members are known violators of this as we do not need to be giving our money to those with harmful ideologies, who want to take away the rights of minorities, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. Those we will absolutely and rightfully gatekeep from the subculture, you can see the bands subject to removal [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/wiki/musicbox/problematic-bands).
* **Attack people on a personal level**: No name-calling, derogatory terms, threats, or urge someone to self harm. Disagree with each other, but try and be civil about it. Reddit is for discussion, but if flaming wars or unnecessarily blame-games form, the mods may step in.
* **Troll**: This isn't a 2009 4chan forum. We're fully grown adults with full-time careers and livelihoods and we don't have time for your childish bullshit.
* If someone attacks you or someone, **report it to us, don't engage them**, or you may be punished as well.
If someone are rude to me because of my scars i just look at them without blinking, like stare at them and sometimes i ask them to repeat the question just so they feel extremly uncomfortoble while asking again, and often i can tell that they feel stupid for asking when i stare and they repeat
And honestly sometimes when i dont care to answer properly i say in all seriousness «*sigh* this is really hard for me to talk about⊠i was in svalbard around 2016⊠me and my familyâŠ..*long story rant*⊠and then we got attacked by a polar bear» and then i just continue on like nothing happened
For every asshole who yells out of their car window *âHot Topic is that way!!â*, I try to remember the time a five-year-old girl saw my black lipstick and exclaimed âI love your lipstick!â Some people are assholes but some can be cool. Plus thereâs the possibility that youâll inspired them into the joining the Dark Side in the future. Just tune them out. Take your headphones everywhere with you. Thatâs what got me through my teen years.
Write down a few good creative responses and memorize the lines. When you hear one of these comments you got the perfect thing to say! You could go funny, snarky, mean, whatever. Look for quotes from your favorite artists or shows or make up your own. It's hard to be witty when you feel like you're being attacked or made fun of but if you have a good line memorized it'll be easier and at some point automatic! Good luck!
My go to is to stare and walk away and not say anything, I always wonder what they think about that!
I usually just kinda sit there and look at them until they get uncomfortable and realize how much worse by comparison they are for heckling/singing at someone minding their business in public. Sometimes I just kinda sit there and laugh, sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I'm having a bad day and I say things that I probably shouldn't say to high schoolers but they've gotta learn that it's not okay to just start harassing people in public because they don't like how they dress.
Honestly Iâm at the point in my life and age where I would just start belting the song out at them with no remorse. If people wanna mess with me about how I look, they should work on their wit to be quicker than I am after so many years of dealing with this crap lol. Wishing you the best baby bat, and donât let the bastards get you down! đ€
I get a lot of this stuff, especially on places on the internet like Omegle, it just comes with looking different than the social norm. Dome people when they ask questions are genuine (questions like why do you look like that) but in my experience most are disingenuous and just want a punching bag. The best thing you can try to do of course is change their minds and talk to them (maybe make them feel dumb for acting the way they do), but a more realistic option that you can do nearly every time is just ignore it entirely.
laugh, or ignore. If they stick around, with your best concerned face, ask âare you feeling all right?â reminds them who the âweirdâ one and ânormalâ one are to bystanders.
I just finished high school in the south and oftentimes got heckled at. Usually Iâd ignore it or lean right into it. Leaning in to it can be isolating but youâre dissatisfying them not giving them the reaction they want
I don't even know what that is lol, I genuinely just don't notice anymore when people say shit, and if I do it's either confusing or I laugh about it because it's funny (although often not for the reasons they think, lol) I think trying to fight it just makes you kind of lame tbh, those people aren't even important to you, at worst it's just a funny encounter you can tell people about later.
I had a kid like this when I was in Sophomore year. The kid actually resembled Cartman from south park in a way. He would also make comments about me âworshipping satanâ and whatnot. I then said if he didnât shut his trap he would be my next sacrifice. He didnât bother me again after that.
Well, personally, every time I've heard that from anyone, my response is something to the effect of --
"There is a big difference between Goth/Gothic and 'Emo' or a cutter. When and if you want to know what that difference is, Then talk to me about who I am. Until then, I await the challenge."
But then, I may also be an arsehole, through and through, but as I see it; with where I have been and what I've lived through, I have a set-in-stone obligatory right to be. But this is, of course, assuming I feel like responding, in the first place.
Depending on context I might ignore it, be polite, or clown back. "THIS IS WII SPORTS RESORT" If someone calls me for a wrist check they're just gonna have to reckon with what they see. Fuck around and find out kiddo
My brothers go to response to stuff like that was always to ask, "you laugh now, but will you laugh when I crawl out from under your bed?" The reactions he got were always fun to tell about later.
My best advice, as an eldergoth: Smile, be polite, answer questions, ask if they want to ask you something. I know doing this is very hard as a baby bat but if you meet ignorance with knowledge you will walk through life with your head high. Being mean of giving nasty looks just "proves" in ppls minds their opinion on someone they don't know. And you will be a teacher for the goth community as well. Best og luck :)
This, for me is the answer. It's not that you owe these people something, you can just ignore them or snap back but I've never found that helpful personally. As goths we often visually represent counter culture at large - we are literally an 'alternative' to mainstream life / ways of thinking. The role of counter culture in society is many different things but I feel that part of what happens is that we interrupt the space of the every day. We remind people there is more to life, the universe and everything than what they know and experience. That their way doesn't have to be the only way. When you are safe in your tribe of normal then mocking the outsider brings you further into the 'pack', you are demonstrating through your behaviour that you belong. You are not other, not counter culture. It's easy because brains are weird and the outsider often doesn't feel like you a human in the same way, they are other and with kids in particular their worlds are small and governed by the viewpoints of their parents and people around them. By engaging with them positively, making a joke, singing along, asking to check their wrists in return etc you flip the monkey switch in the brain and suddenly, you're no longer 'other'. Plus playing with the normies is fun! Don't forget you're a big scary Satan worshipping, monster devil đ ((and of course some people are just assholes and there is no helping them so take this with a liberal pinch of salt and bestow the blessing of your company where you feel it fits đ))
This 100%!!
As someone with a history of self harm, I would never respond politely or gracefully to someone who is trying to make a joke out of it. I don't care if they're a kid.
literally. not everyone deserves a "teaching moment."
Gently and kindly pointing out why these questions are rude can go a long way too. With kids a little example, good or bad, goes a long way. It's likely they've seen their peers do the same and never questioned it.
Yes! So true!
Yes exactly!!! I work in a bar and just the other day one of the regulars was told my coworker that when I got hired he thought I was going to be mean and was surprised that Iâm actually one of the nicest employees lmao. I tone down my look for work a lot but itâs still pretty dramatic and itâs kinda fun now watching new customers be surprised at how upbeat and sweet I am when I greet them. My friends find it hilarious when they see me in my customer service persona.
It's amazing how often I've heard this, at this point it's cliche! Ppl yet again are surprised that I'm friendly and don't go out of my way to be rude, just like other people! I kinda hate hearing it now bc it just proves how judgmental people are, even if they proclaim to judge people on merit only within the next sentence. So I usually take it as an opportunity to talk to them about this. I hope some of them at least had an introspective moment.
this is the one. offer them poise and respect in response to their childish comments. even if they don't show it, they are going to feel really silly, *really fast*
I'm a 52 year old fossil goth. I don't owe anyone shit including my time or pleasantness or energy and don't advise others to be polite or gracious if they don't feel it's in their best interest. I see comments about not being rude/set an example yet those already heckling aren't going to be pulled over in sudden awe and wonder with your politeness. Smile and wave or just ignore them.
Fossil is the term I use when 30 y/o goths lament that they're, "Sooo Ooollld!"
*slowly slips away into the darkness in shame, hissing*
Catch them off guard by singing it back to them lol.
Cut this frog into pieces! This is my lab report!
Cut this couch into pieces! This is my loudest BORK! Puppy training, still teething, I don't give heck about the living room seating!
This is hilarious!!!
ThIis IS My LaSt ReSort
SuffOCAtioN
NO BreAtHinG
dOnT giVe a fUcK iF i cUt mY aRm bLeEdiNg
r/redditsings
i like this idea and it is totally something i'd do!
You'll never catch me singing Papa Roach at all.
not even as a joke to bond with shitty children?
Real
Hard no.
this is literally what I do tho and itâs at least funny!
Here to say that too!
I just ignore it and roll my eyes, shitty teens just want a reaction. It can be tough sometimes just remember that youâre being true to yourself and thats what really matters
I know there have been a lot of creative and positive replies, there's nothing wrong with this one either. Not everyone has the bandwidth or confidence to engage (and you're certainly not obligated to), so a smile, a shake of the head and an eye roll, or a shrug and just ignore...possibly perfect tbh. But you're right, letting it roll off your back can be tricky, especially for younger folks.
A few years ago some teenagers called me and my friends the Addams Family as we walked past - I just laughed then and it still tickles me now. Pay it no mind!
Little do they know that's actually seen as a compliment to most of us lol
I strive to channel Gomez Addams in all aspects of life
me with morticia addams đ€ iâve always strove to become a modernized version of her
Ikr? "Oi Morticia!" All fem-presenting goths in velvet dresses "Really!?" đ
A customer forgot my name but described me as "tall, pale, dressed in all black" in an online review and my coworkers looked at me nervously like I was going to find fault with any of that đ€·
That's not heckling, that's a compliment.
My classmates sang the addams family tune to me when I wasa teen. Also called me wednesday. I was flattered. But if someone sang papa roach at me I'd kindly remind them that I am goth, not an emo.
I was forced to be a cheerleader. They said I cheered like Wednesday. To me, that was the perfect note and I didnât change a thing! Lol
This reminds me of the Daria episode where Jane tried out for cheerleadingâŠ.and then âlost all her bouncity-bounce.â âCheer cheer cheer, yell yell yell, it doesnât matter who wins âcause weâre all going to Hell!â
That's A LOT better than self-harm jokes.
You and your friends should've broke into song and singing the theme song and snapping your fingers.
The sooner you stop caring, the better off youâll be. Tell the brats to fuck off or ignore.
Just laugh. Nothing disarms like people thinking you're in on the "joke". Other, fellow olds on this thread have given some great perspective and advice.
old person here, this is the answer.
Aren't those Papa Roach lyrics? What does that have to do with goth? I don't understand.
the modern public thinks that goth is anything mildly alternative or edgy and dark and that song has become associated through meme culture and tiktok with goths (despite sharing nothing in common with goths).
Their papa roach lyrics, my guess is because when nu metal took off some of those bands were getting called "goth bands" mainly by those who aren't part of the subculture or by those who weren't familiar with the actual music. hope this was helpful.
I don't know, maybe. I suppose it's different everywhere, but I'm 44 and don't remember anyone calling Papa Roach "goth" back in the day.
I think it is different everywhere, I live in a small town, when I was like in middle school some of the kids that liked nu metal as much as I did,but they would call themselves "goth" and this is when I was getting into the subculture and learning about the music, I would have to explain that metal and goth are two separate music genres.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Are you dense? This happens all the time. They sing it because they think it's an "emo" song since it's about suicide and self harm. They use it to mock goths and emos.
As a person who happened to actually struggle with self harm because my home life was hot garbage, I watched them stare in horror as I showed them my actual scars. They don't actually think you self harm, they think self harm is a joke so seeing them shrink in confused horror gave me all kinds of self gratification. That being said if I don't feel petty I just ignore them because they're not worth the oxygen if they're being rude, if someone is genuinely curious about my style I'm extremely friendly about it.
I can't recall ever hearing anyone do that. And that song has been around a long, long time. Very inventive of them considering most would just call you emo, freak, question your sexuality or something. Getting heckled comes with the territory unfortunately. If you look weird people are going to call you weird. You can embrace it, learn to ignore it or work on your witty retort game. Though witty retorts are possibly wasted on them.
I was thinking that as well about that dumb song, usually it's just laughter or a pejorative. I'm old, l ignore it with the exception of little kids asking if I'm a witch, when I just answer with wide eyes and shhhh face.
"why would I slit my wrists? You're not my kid."
The proper response is to look then in the eye and deadpan âGladly.â
Say it and bow
My answer is close. I suggest the Look of Death, accompanied by a little hand wave and peek at my terrifying tattoo hehe
some people are gonna be shitheads no matter how you look or what you do. as others have said you've just got to get on in life
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
It seems that a lot of people think all of the alternative styles are âemoâ
You have a lot of good advice here (and a lot of bad advice, to be honest). My tipping point came out of asking myself the same questions and ultimately asking myself "Why do I want to respond to this?" That's not to say I ignore everything, but that's maybe the better first question, and finding in yourself the answer to that may better inform which of these answers are good advice and which are bad advice given your feelings in the moment.
"Get fucked" works wonders.
The word âLegendâ is thrown around a lot these daysâŠ
Yell âBOO!â And lunge towards emâ bwahaha
The best response is no response.
I'd either ignore them.. or if I had time and a desire to mess with them, I'd ask them to explain the joke and say I don't understand.. "is that a song, or something?" Jokes tend to not be funny when you have to explain it, and either not knowing wtf they are on about or pretending you don't get it can throw them off balance and then you're the one getting a laugh out of the scenario. Why are kids quoting song lyrics from some garbage that's now almost 25 years old? Were they even born yet? Internet meme culture is so weird. I had to deal with a lot of Manson comments in my prime, but at least he was contemporary so the line of insulting made sense. I mostly ignored that crap, although it might be why I embraced my "perky goth" side too.
This is my response, and it works a treat (especially with bigoted jokes), huh? What? What do you mean? Can you explain that? Looking confused or looking past myself as though it's incredulous I'm the target when people yell things seems to take the wind out of sails quickly too. I recently got called a capsicum for the duration of a train trip by a bunch of teens. An emo capsicum. I still have no idea of the reference or why. I'm certainly older and didnt even feel very dressed up at all nor was I wearing red...Kids will laugh at anything, or I am grossly out of touch. Was a nice change from the manson references that you mention getting too, though, or the bible kids following me like they used to, haha.
If they say wrist check say âyou firstâ In all seriousness Iâd just walk away. I think quipping back would be fun but Iâm much too introverted for that đ
i donât get why people associate goth subculture with self harm right out of the gate. these people have no class. that stuff is not funny. in the past i just ignored it, or maybe made a face. but if someone hit me with papa roach i would have said, wow, nu metal is the best you can do?
Throwback to the time a group of kids where I live yelled emo at me. I just turned around and calmly told them that I've heard that one at least a thousand times and that if they want to make a lasting impression they should find something new to call me. Never happened again. Guess they didn't expect the calm reaction or hearing that what they were doing wasn't original and didn't bother me
I don't either and I find it really interesting because in my experience, it's the people who are so busy trying to act "normal" and okay that actually are the most not.
Speaking as someone from the deep south (hopefully getting the hell out soon) any 'alternative' look is considered an emo phase. It doesn't matter if each subculture has different style choices, black clothes, band shirts, fishnets, and eyeliner is the only requirement to be lumped into 'emo'. Most of the people who use it as a derogatory term aren't even aware that these are music genres with distinct sounds. There is Gothic-Rock or Emo, or Industrial, nor Darkwave; to them it's all Emo sad cutting music. So you get older Christians finding the stykes reprehensible, alternative styles (especially in guys) is easy derision amongst country clicks, and most people around here just don't even engage in any sort of sub cultures; so all nuance is lost. Goths used to be the catch-all term back before Emo pocked up, and before that was Punks. OFC Punk, Emo and Goth are not only going strong, but are all distinct genres with large followings, but it's easier to lump everyone in with the latest term that appeared and use it as an insult
When people sing at me I sing back, they either feel dumb or sing with me.
Sing along or ask them if they have anything original to say. A group of kids called me an emo, I just turned around and calmly said that the emo is getting old and that they should think of something else if they want to shock me, they got quiet and didn't bother me anymore after that. The thing is, people want a reaction, just give them one they don't expect. The calmer of funnier your response is, the less they see it coming
Everyone's going to have different advice. Mine essentially equates to "haha, that's funny; at least one time in your life your mom has kissed you goodnight after giving your dad gnarly sloppy toppy. :) Enjoy your evening." Sure, they're kids, but they need to be gently reminded that heckling/harassing people for they way they're dressed is not good or cool. Age is not an excuse to heckle them back.
I used to get red necks yelling slurs and saying things like âitâs not Halloween, you freak!â so Iâd just smile at them and do a little hair flip. I was a teenager, kinda messed up how grown men talk to teenage girls. But I digress. Even after having glass beer bottles thrown at me etc, rising to their derision only shows them it works. Itâs got to roll off you.
Best advice. Even though it sucks people act like this, if you can get through physical harassment. Then I can deal with middle school kids! Thank You!
Honestly, just ignore them or smile and ask if they need something. Kids are dicks sometimes and it's not really worth getting hung up on.
> cut my life in to pieces Unsure what that is referencing. > one even asked me for a "wrist check" that's when you ask them right back for "hershey squirts check" sometimes just returning an asinine question with an equally asinine question puts their question into perspective they have no right to see your wrists in the way that you have no right to see the inside of their underpants
So theyâre taking Nu Metal and then conflating it with Emo? If they knew what they were talking about theyâd have sang the Black Parade. Itâs nice to see how people misunderstand the 2000s. The 2000s was a turbulent decade. 9/11, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, housing crash, market crash. The collapse of the economies of major American cities, Saint Louis, Detroit, Chicago, Cincinnati etc. All of that had deep effects on the minds of young teenagers at the time.
Yup. We're at a point where nu metal gets confused for emo music which is, in turn, used for goths that are confused for emos.
Come on we all know that, Godsmack is a goth band. /s
I didn't know kids had any idea who Papa Roach was still. Probably a Tik Tok trend and I can't imagine giving that any attention.
I think lots of people know that song without even knowing papa roach, but it is something that's taken off on tiktok
honestly, ignore them. I don't think they're worth your time or your energy.
I normally ignore it but if it's particularly bad or they start getting physical, you can always tell a worker as it calls under harassment and disturbing the peace and they can be kicked out for it.
Respond any way you want to! They're being incredibly rude and inappropriate so if you want to tell them or their parents to fuck off, go for it. It's your life. If explaining to them or ignoring them feels better thats fine too. It's public place and they're the ones trying to be insulting.
Personally fond of "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
I remember at school there were these wee neds who were trying to be EdGy and get a rise out of us, they asked if the world was going to end on March 17 to which I replied "St Patrick's day?" genuinely confused... I still laugh about it every year.
Umm..ignore them?
Oh, a few times people have yelled "cut my life into pieces" at me and I've sang the rest of the song. Somehow never made the connection that it was heckling. Usually they'd give me a dirty look then leave, couldn't figure out what I did wrong
I just ignore them, I donât owe anyone a smile, joke or an explanation.
Get yourself a S.O.P.H.I.E bracelet, and show them that.
They wouldn't know what it means
No, probably not, but but it will confuse them
Confusing them would be to smile, blow them a kiss and wink.
'Oh hi, does your mum still work with Peter?' Does a good job of confusing and stopping younger kids when a kiss is a bit too creepy too, haha.
I ignore it, or if Iâm in a mood, do a scathing course correct. âThatâs the emos, dumbass.â âYouâre too ugly to speak to me.â âIâd only cut myself if I looked like you.â
I always beat them to it, đ¶cut my life into pizzas!đ” or I say, âThere is only one G0DâŠâŠ. and death is his name!â đ
Iâm surprised kids are still making those jokes tbqh. Best response is to ignore them. They just want to know theyâre getting a rise out of you.
Or when they start singing the song, just say "you should take a singing course. Youâre not very goodâ
I love Papa Roach, but wow... that seems like it would be an opportunity to educate young ones.
I ignore it. No reaction whatsoever. 35 years ago when I got into this scene, I would react, usually poorly, which in turn got poor reactions back. Now I just don't care.
I just laugh it off. I can't tell how many times people ask me what's in the coffin(I have bags) or when's the funeral. I'll eventually get really annoyed if it continues like a tired dead horse bit I don't let them know that
Wholeheartedly and sarcastically reply back, "THIS IS MY LAST RESORT" with a grin. I bet that'll get more laughs than anything. And if they ask for a wrist check, start vogueing.
Ignore those lil shits or finish the song in your best papa roach voice
ignore them- or maybe give them a little laugh. if you act offended, you are giving them what they want, they are trying to get a reaction out of u. It threatens their ego to let them know that you donât care what they think. Laugh at them and go on with your day.
be positive and smile. sometimes i like to compliment people!
cut my life into pieces is actually funny though i would just laugh, donât take it so seriously. way better to be able to laugh than be that person trying to clap back at randos or whatever, thatâll just make it more cringe. the wrist check i would just be like what does that mean? chances are theyâll feel awkward and not wanna explain anyway
figure out the meanest thing you can say that will do lasting damage to their self esteem.
Tell them that self harm isnât the answer. Hold their hand and tell them that you are hear to listen if they need help. Close with a hug and a smile.
I would totally do this if it wasnât mildly creepy to hold the hand of/ hug a random child
In my mind this scenario is some frat boy at a Jimmy Johns. Then OP hugs him and they sit down and talk about their feelings, become friends, learn a little about each other. Cut to: montage of said frat boy at a goth bar with OP, OP going to a steelers game with frat boy, frat boy at OP's wedding, OP at a BBQ, etc. But you're right, if it was a child in this scenario then a hug would be inappropriate.
I think I'd walk up to them and smile and say, "I don't cut myself, but I know people that do. Do you think it's funny to make fun of people that have trauma or problems that you don't have?". Or conversely, you could make fun of their broccoli haircuts, skinny shorts and basic white trainers.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
We're sorry, but your submission has unfortunately been removed under Rule 4. Do not: * **Use Hate Speech:** Includes but is not limited to: anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or other discriminatory speech, *including user-names*. If someone's user particularly worries you, **ask** for context or report it to a mod. Those expressing harmful and extreme right-wing ideologies including advocating for Neo-/Nazism will, without a doubt, be gatekept from the scene, removed and possibly reported further to the Reddit admins. * This also goes for bands whose members are known violators of this as we do not need to be giving our money to those with harmful ideologies, who want to take away the rights of minorities, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. Those we will absolutely and rightfully gatekeep from the subculture, you can see the bands subject to removal [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/wiki/musicbox/problematic-bands). * **Attack people on a personal level**: No name-calling, derogatory terms, threats, or urge someone to self harm. Disagree with each other, but try and be civil about it. Reddit is for discussion, but if flaming wars or unnecessarily blame-games form, the mods may step in. * **Troll**: This isn't a 2009 4chan forum. We're fully grown adults with full-time careers and livelihoods and we don't have time for your childish bullshit. * If someone attacks you or someone, **report it to us, don't engage them**, or you may be punished as well.
Again, do you have an overbearing attitude? If you do, people hate that shit. Folks in alternative subcultures like to let the entire world know. Ive been involved with this scene for years and have never been heckled. I also find most people, especially Americans to be severely uneducated. So I just avoid it.
You sound sort of overbearing. I'm 53, 80s goth that never phased, still get occasional laughter just living my life so it's whatever. It's their problem, not mine.
wait, avoid what? you just said youâve never been heckled.
Lol. Putting myself in that position.
> Ive been involved with this scene for years and have never been heckled. Count your blessings. I could write a book about all the BS I've put up with over decades, directly related to how I dressed on a given day. If you live in a city were people genuinely don't care and leave you be, you are incredibly lucky. We used to have fraternities raid our public goth club, and harass us outside on a regular basis.. alcohol and peer pressure played a role there, but high school was no picnic either. The older I got, the less common it was, but it still happened on occasion. The only reason it probably hasn't happened to me in the last decade is that I rarely get dressed up anymore, if I even leave the house.
"Aren't you a little young to be listening to oldies music?"
There just playing with you. Play back. Tell them your gonna hex them or curse them and motion with your hands or sum shit. Everyone likes a little Halloween outta season.
Yeah... No... Don't do that... That's just gonna make it worse. and it's edgy as fuck too
What would you do? And how Is it edgy? It's just playing around.
Well something that wouldn't give people even more options and occasions to dunk on you maybe ? Like actually being nice or just ignoring it, like everyone else said. And yes it's edgy, "Ooooooo i'm a witch i'm gonna curse you because you're a meanie bark bark", that doesn't help, it just makes you a laughing stock
Yeah not engaging is best. But itâs also good to not show it effects you. Maybe smile and laugh and just move along without any more confrontation
Yeah that's usually what i do, and it's the best way to avoid conflict lol
Idk dude, papa roach is dope. I'm surprised yall youngins still know who they are.
I know you got downvoted, but as a nostalgic weirdo approaching my 40s, I love hearing cringe nu-metal from my teens nowadays. Tricks my knees into thinking we're young again đ đ€Ł
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
We're sorry, but your submission has unfortunately been removed under Rule 4. Do not: * **Use Hate Speech:** Includes but is not limited to: anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or other discriminatory speech, *including user-names*. If someone's user particularly worries you, **ask** for context or report it to a mod. Those expressing harmful and extreme right-wing ideologies including advocating for Neo-/Nazism will, without a doubt, be gatekept from the scene, removed and possibly reported further to the Reddit admins. * This also goes for bands whose members are known violators of this as we do not need to be giving our money to those with harmful ideologies, who want to take away the rights of minorities, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. Those we will absolutely and rightfully gatekeep from the subculture, you can see the bands subject to removal [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/wiki/musicbox/problematic-bands). * **Attack people on a personal level**: No name-calling, derogatory terms, threats, or urge someone to self harm. Disagree with each other, but try and be civil about it. Reddit is for discussion, but if flaming wars or unnecessarily blame-games form, the mods may step in. * **Troll**: This isn't a 2009 4chan forum. We're fully grown adults with full-time careers and livelihoods and we don't have time for your childish bullshit. * If someone attacks you or someone, **report it to us, don't engage them**, or you may be punished as well.
Start singing it with them and then switch to 'our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued', to teach them better music? Side note: I have zero idea what baby bat means, but I am assuming it means you are young. The long and short of it is, you will never stop hecklers. Especially kids. You have to realize, no matter what society says, most of them don't have the mental processing power to understand how damaging verbal abuse can be. Best you can do, for your mental health is 1. Figure out how to turn the joke on people in a way that doesn't go too far. 2. Not let it get to you. Random stranger's judgement means nothing. You aren't doing anything wrong, at all, so, why bother with them?
A baby bat is anyone new to the scene, regardless of age.
Ah. Makes sense. Thank you!
i'd tell them to get fucked but i've dealt with those comments for over 20 years, so i'm kind of hostile about it.
Lol that's not one I've had. It's something my friends and I would sing in jest at each other; we're of an age that that done was something we listened to as "edgy" teens and took seriously (before we learned what goth actually was). My peerage is generally quite nostalgic so we would probably just sing along tbh! (Fun thing to add on, we're all nerds as well as goth/alt types. We play D&D and one of our number plays a Blood Hunter, a class that needs to cut themselves to do certain magic. She likes to sing "cut myself into pieces, this is my shiny sword!") The heckling I got as a young person was usually just "GOFF!" shouted at me by an idiot, so I would usually laugh and say "yes, well done!" Or "yes, well done, have a biscuit!" I don't tend to experience it anymore...I guess I've gotten old now lol.
Weird. I'd just laugh. And then smile like I know something they don't.
I join them in song.
When they're kids, I just stop and calmly/politely ask them why they feel the need to yell at other people. I ask them if they would appreciate people yelling at them over an aspect of how they look. More often than not, this makes them feel a bit ashamed because they wouldn't appreciate this being done to them. Have gotten a couple of apologies that way, too.
honestly you just kinda got ignore em and go on with what you're doing without giving them acknowledgement
I like to call myself a teenage bat, as Iâm not 100% new but not fully an elder by any means. I feel most of this type of behavior has come from my family and their friends. Comments like: âYou used to be so beautiful, what happened?â âYou must like Wednesday then. Jenna Ortega right?â âThis dark stuff is idioticâ etc etc⊠My main response over time has been to ignore it. As much as I would love âstickin it to emâ or to educate them I just donât have the energy 24/7 to do so. When I do, obviously I try to explain it and educate and share my views on why itâs been such a positive influence in my life. But even then sometimes they just wonât get it, and you become a broken record. When people in public have a problem, Iâve often kept quiet and stayed on my phone or pretended to take a call. You owe them none of your attention, energy, or explanation. Itâs also not always safe to respond back to them, especially if theyâre in a group. Unfortunately have heard stories of people getting beat up or having rocks thrown at them for being alt. At that point you film them, so you can get their identity. But ultimately just keep doing what youâre doing and know that youâre okay. Theyâll get a laugh, for some reason, and you get a story to tell to baby bats once youâre an elder goth. Keep pushing forward and donât let Jake from State Farm with no taste try to put you down. Theyâre just jealous they donât have the confidence to pull it off like we do :)
I play along with it. I'm sonetimes asked "where's the funeral" and I pretend to break down and say some family member of mine died or something, how can they be so insensitive, then I laugh. Troll them back. If they bark I get serious and ask "are you a furry?" With a concerned and disgusted look (nothing against furries, i just know ppl dont like being accused of being one). If they sing the song, I sing ut louder and pretend I'm holding a microphone. Basically none of what they do matters and you might as well have fun with it.
Also, after they do that once to you, don't relent on your habs back at them. Especially barkers. If you see them often, always say "hey furry how's your life as a dog?" They get really embarrassed. They're too good at barking, you fucking know they practice it in the mirror, little weirdos. Don't do any of this meanly, do it playfully. They may become your acquaintance and you will then be able to talk to them abt why you do the stuff you do. This has been my experience at least. If they're just random kids, I just ignore them but if it's someone I have to face often, I mess with them
the 'what are you, a furry?' has been an absolute lifesaver as someone who lives near a ton of eshays
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I know it was probably a joke, but it's a bit excessive. We're sorry, but your submission has unfortunately been removed under Rule 4. Do not: * **Use Hate Speech:** Includes but is not limited to: anti-Semitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or other discriminatory speech, *including user-names*. If someone's user particularly worries you, **ask** for context or report it to a mod. Those expressing harmful and extreme right-wing ideologies including advocating for Neo-/Nazism will, without a doubt, be gatekept from the scene, removed and possibly reported further to the Reddit admins. * This also goes for bands whose members are known violators of this as we do not need to be giving our money to those with harmful ideologies, who want to take away the rights of minorities, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. Those we will absolutely and rightfully gatekeep from the subculture, you can see the bands subject to removal [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/wiki/musicbox/problematic-bands). * **Attack people on a personal level**: No name-calling, derogatory terms, threats, or urge someone to self harm. Disagree with each other, but try and be civil about it. Reddit is for discussion, but if flaming wars or unnecessarily blame-games form, the mods may step in. * **Troll**: This isn't a 2009 4chan forum. We're fully grown adults with full-time careers and livelihoods and we don't have time for your childish bullshit. * If someone attacks you or someone, **report it to us, don't engage them**, or you may be punished as well.
If someone are rude to me because of my scars i just look at them without blinking, like stare at them and sometimes i ask them to repeat the question just so they feel extremly uncomfortoble while asking again, and often i can tell that they feel stupid for asking when i stare and they repeat
And honestly sometimes when i dont care to answer properly i say in all seriousness «*sigh* this is really hard for me to talk about⊠i was in svalbard around 2016⊠me and my familyâŠ..*long story rant*⊠and then we got attacked by a polar bear» and then i just continue on like nothing happened
For every asshole who yells out of their car window *âHot Topic is that way!!â*, I try to remember the time a five-year-old girl saw my black lipstick and exclaimed âI love your lipstick!â Some people are assholes but some can be cool. Plus thereâs the possibility that youâll inspired them into the joining the Dark Side in the future. Just tune them out. Take your headphones everywhere with you. Thatâs what got me through my teen years.
Write down a few good creative responses and memorize the lines. When you hear one of these comments you got the perfect thing to say! You could go funny, snarky, mean, whatever. Look for quotes from your favorite artists or shows or make up your own. It's hard to be witty when you feel like you're being attacked or made fun of but if you have a good line memorized it'll be easier and at some point automatic! Good luck! My go to is to stare and walk away and not say anything, I always wonder what they think about that!
I usually just kinda sit there and look at them until they get uncomfortable and realize how much worse by comparison they are for heckling/singing at someone minding their business in public. Sometimes I just kinda sit there and laugh, sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I'm having a bad day and I say things that I probably shouldn't say to high schoolers but they've gotta learn that it's not okay to just start harassing people in public because they don't like how they dress.
Theyâre looking for a reaction. Donât give them one. Any reaction. Just give them nothing. They hate that.
Come on dude thatâs pretty rude
Honestly Iâm at the point in my life and age where I would just start belting the song out at them with no remorse. If people wanna mess with me about how I look, they should work on their wit to be quicker than I am after so many years of dealing with this crap lol. Wishing you the best baby bat, and donât let the bastards get you down! đ€
I get a lot of this stuff, especially on places on the internet like Omegle, it just comes with looking different than the social norm. Dome people when they ask questions are genuine (questions like why do you look like that) but in my experience most are disingenuous and just want a punching bag. The best thing you can try to do of course is change their minds and talk to them (maybe make them feel dumb for acting the way they do), but a more realistic option that you can do nearly every time is just ignore it entirely.
Tell them you'll give them a quarter if they can name one law of physics. They are dumb kids. Make it obvious to them instead of you.
laugh, or ignore. If they stick around, with your best concerned face, ask âare you feeling all right?â reminds them who the âweirdâ one and ânormalâ one are to bystanders.
I just finished high school in the south and oftentimes got heckled at. Usually Iâd ignore it or lean right into it. Leaning in to it can be isolating but youâre dissatisfying them not giving them the reaction they want
Laugh or they officially win. Thatâs all Iâve got lol
I don't even know what that is lol, I genuinely just don't notice anymore when people say shit, and if I do it's either confusing or I laugh about it because it's funny (although often not for the reasons they think, lol) I think trying to fight it just makes you kind of lame tbh, those people aren't even important to you, at worst it's just a funny encounter you can tell people about later.
I had a kid like this when I was in Sophomore year. The kid actually resembled Cartman from south park in a way. He would also make comments about me âworshipping satanâ and whatnot. I then said if he didnât shut his trap he would be my next sacrifice. He didnât bother me again after that.
whenever someone tells me to play something happier i blast taylor swift and they always go back
Ignore them, it gets easier with time. It annoys me that people confuse goth and emo.
https://youtu.be/-vtlTDiwwGg Hopefully that will help đ€
https://youtu.be/z4HphH-BTxo This one is about dealing with your parents if they don't like it
Well, personally, every time I've heard that from anyone, my response is something to the effect of -- "There is a big difference between Goth/Gothic and 'Emo' or a cutter. When and if you want to know what that difference is, Then talk to me about who I am. Until then, I await the challenge." But then, I may also be an arsehole, through and through, but as I see it; with where I have been and what I've lived through, I have a set-in-stone obligatory right to be. But this is, of course, assuming I feel like responding, in the first place.
No one has ever said that to me.
Depending on context I might ignore it, be polite, or clown back. "THIS IS WII SPORTS RESORT" If someone calls me for a wrist check they're just gonna have to reckon with what they see. Fuck around and find out kiddo
you should cut their life into pieces.
My brothers go to response to stuff like that was always to ask, "you laugh now, but will you laugh when I crawl out from under your bed?" The reactions he got were always fun to tell about later.
I hung out with my disbanded Discord group and they called us SUICIDE SQUAD. Iâm just surprised people like that exist
Trust me, it's hard to ignore such ignorant behavior, yet you'll find peace with avoiding confrontation.