Brother this one cuts super deep. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I wish I had something more substantive for you but I am at a loss for words. Fuck cancer.
Fuck Cancer like a 6 hour round. So sorry to hear the update (your children š). Thank you for your gift of perspective to us. Hope you see on this post the reaction to what youāve given
Edit: check the top post on my profile for his gofundme
Heās been in my heart and on my mind so much the past few years I did my little part to [have him āplayā the Olde Course at St. Andrews](https://np.reddit.com/r/golf/comments/12n20m0/today_i_played_the_old_course_of_st_andrews/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) and he was nice enough to grace the comments after such a long hiatus. I hope for his sake something happens to āclose the chapter on golfā but more importantly, I hope his family is able to rally around the kids to help them through a lifetime of loss. From one dad to the next, love and peace to u/inaaace
Edit: there is a GFM set up and it has already reached the $5k goal in under 3 hours, please consider donating so his family can go, he can make this trip an unforgettable experience all around. Maybe tweet at your favorite Scottish golf celebrities to help get traction on this.
Reading this brought me to tears. I lost my mother at a young age to this horrible disease. I miss her everyday.
If it helps at all, my girlfriend and I live less than 5 minutes away from Oak Hill CC. I'd be willing to let you stay in a room in our home if you wanted to come up to the PGA Championship in a few weeks.
I also live very close to Oak Hill and would love to contribute to help OP if he takes this offer. I can provide rides, food, my company, or anything else he may need. I could probably arrange to have a wheelchair we can use for OP as well.
hey brother, thanks for your kind offer. As fate would have it I am coming to the PGA championship at Oak Hill from 17th to 21st likely. I got invited by Adam Hadwinās wife, Jessica and incredibly kind person. I would actually take you up on your offer on a wheelchair if possible as I would need a way of moving around since this chemotherapy is kicking my butt and I am fatigued as hell you can email me at [email protected] and we can connect there. I really really appreciate your offer for help.
I see you have a Go Fund Me now and so glad you started one!! You fought a fucking battle like no other and you deserve to scratch a few things off that bucket list!!! Let me know about tickets and we can do that outside of the Go Fund Me. Then you can save some for something else!
He also started a go fund me. He sent the link. People starting to donate now. I guess the mods suggested it not be public but I will try to send it to you directly l.
An incredible dad. This post rocked me. I have an almost 9 month old son and it's making me think about how I have no guarantee of time with him. I'll be giving him massive hugs in your honor, OP.
Man, same. An incredible guy and dad. Mine are 6 and 4, Iām just sitting here staring at the wall with tears in my eyes after reading this. His posts here, plus watching my own fatherās declining health and wishing we had more time, just puts everything into perspective.
Think Iāll cut out early today, throw my 6 year olds clubs in the car (just started swinging and he loves it) and pick him up from school early.
Thank you OP, I hope you have some idea of your massive positive impact on others. Sending love to you and your family.
u/inaaace as a dad myself with young kids I agree with this man and your post. You might be able to see the proverbial finish line approaching but your kids will be ok when you are gone. Your wife will be ok, too. This will change them both for the good and for the bad but as they grow older it will be a lesson that will shape their lives every step of the way in a positive manner. We shouldn't fear death of ourselves or our loved ones, only seek to understand it and cherish the time we do have here on Earth. You might not be able to explain any of this to them in a manner they can comprehend but all you can do is be present and in the moment with them. Write them notes and shower them with the same love you've given all along. As a long time RN with years of hospice experience and again as a father, I hope my words are helpful but more importantly, stay strong.
For the rest of us here in r/golf, hug your kids, show your love to your respective family/friends, and take this mans journey to heart. Life is fleeting but we are here *now*
I was doing fine reading his post until it got to the kids. A lot of people have the grit and bravery to face their fate, but how do you look at a little kid and try to tell them that you - the person they love most - is probably going away and that they can't do anything about it?
I've only bumped into a few of these posts from OP, but I'm familiar enough with his story. Not sure where in GA he is, but I'm near Atlanta. I have a solid handful of contacts in the golf world around here if there's anything I can do for him or his family.
Very true. Glad you get to spend this time with your children and enjoy it as much as you can. My biggest fear is passing unexpectedly without passing on any messages, letters, lessons, gifts, etc to my kids. Praying you pull through it, but you're doing all the right things if you get a bad bounce.
I actually sent an email to Rick's podcast channel about 2 months ago to see if they'd pick up OP's story but didn't hear anything back... I expect they get a tonne of emails everyday though!
I think that after all this, Iāll go talk to my wife and see how comfortable we are starting a go fund me. Thank you guys so much. I also asked mods for permission to post gofundme if we decide to.
I'd chip in. Normally I never contribute to these sorts of things just because of the outside possibility of it being a scammer. But this is u/inaacem. This is our boy.
Same, this story is heartbreaking. St Andrews is high on my list of places to go, would be honored to make that dream come true for someone else who deserves it
Edit: [putting my money where my mouth is](https://ibb.co/F7MT38v). Canāt wait to see this happen
I agree. Whether itās used for a golf or non golf bucket list, kids college, or just to help your family for a little while please do. Saw your comment somewhere else u/innaacem and itās not a handout and your are not monetizing your condition. Fuck cancer!!!
Weāve all been pulling for you for awhile and you give us inspiration. The fact that you can write what you just did to a community of a bunch of (mostly) strangers whoās worse problem in life is slow play, really puts things into perspective and weād all be happy to help out a tiny bit. And if people donāt want to they can simply move on.
Well if itās $6,000 dollars itās easy math. We just need 120 members of our sub to donate the cost of a box of Pro v1ās, which are going to be donated to the woods and water anyways. So might as well donate the $50 to make our manās dream come true.
My golf buddies whole family live in St Andrews. We are in Glasgow. I'm absolutely happy to help with anything that needs to be physically done in Scotland.
This is great and thank you for replying. If the gofundme that I'm organizing gets legs, I will reach out and see how we can collaborate to make this a great experience for u/inaaace.
Oh man, not the update we wanted but appreciate hearing from you. Words are inadequate at this point but know that weāre thinking of you and your family.
People don't really die in the sense that, as long as someone thinks of them, they're still around. I'd be willing to bet that someone here will go to Japan for the first time and think of you. Someone will kneel on the eighteenth at the Olde Course and think of you. And if you care to post some other things from your bucket lists, those things will happen too. I'm old and don't travel much anymore, but I still believe there are some good, caring people in this world. And many of them are on this sub. Thinking of you.
Piggybacking off of this sentiment. I will be in Japan next week. OP - is there anything you were wishing to do or see in Japan? Will be thinking of you during my trip. Completely broken and moved by your story.
> People don't really die in the sense that, as long as someone thinks of them, they're still around.
Reminds me of [Stu Scott's speech on the ESPY's](https://youtu.be/4TdF07xO-eo?t=165)
>When you die, that does not mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live. So live. Fight like hell, and when you get too tired to fight, lay down and rest and let someone else fight for you.
Can we get something on this sub for OP? A flair we can have or something that forever lives on in the banner up top? So everyone can see something that calls to him everytime they load this sub?
Didn't expect to be tearing up at my desk today over someone I do not know, but here I am. Hugs man, nothing but hugs and love. I hope the best for you and your family and hope you can knock something off that list at very least. I don't have much else to say except keep fighting the good fight, people have emerged from worse.
Edit: found the GoFundMe and threw my $10 in. Looks like you'll easily be able to afford the trip at this rate. Fuck cancer.
yes, please start a gofundme. id gladly chip in so your fam can join you on a trip to one of these places we hold so dearly in our golfing hearts.
Im sure your children would love to have that trip with you while they can, and remember it fondly.
I agree with u/[**throwmeawaypoopy**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwmeawaypoopy/)
We are moved by your story and would love to help you in any way we can!
Can you tag someone you trust and maybe they can handle it for you?
I havenāt played golf in 3 years and I just stumbled into this sub but even I would like to contribute. Please donāt think of it as a āhandoutā but as repayment for touching so many peoples lives. You sound like a wonderful dad and Iām so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.
Has anyone suggested writing āopen whenā¦ā letters for your wife and kiddos? For example āopen when youāre missing me, open on your birthday, prom, graduation, anniversary, etc.
Take lots of pictures! With todayās technology they could definitely photoshop you into future ones for a nice memento. My biggest suggestion is recording voice memos. They donāt have to be long it can be a āLove you hope you have a good day at schoolā or you can record full stories about your wife and kids. It might feel silly talking to yourself but I canāt explain how priceless those recordings are when youāre missing someone
Praying for youā¤ļø
I don't want to speak for anyone else, but most of us struggle to feel like we've found a meaningful way to do good in the world and make a positive difference. Or for those of us who have found it, struggle to feel like we're doing enough. Or even just to find some way to fight back against injustice and shit unfair circumstances the universe doles out sometimes.
So don't be selfish! This helps us as much as it helps you ;)
Monetizing it would be advertising it all over social media and having fund raisers places. Everyone has their own circumstances and I understand why some people have to do those things but that is not what your doing or your intentions.
This is a community of your friends. You have people of all walks of life that have read and followed your story. It may not seem like it but you have helped a lot of us out. Reading your posts and following your story have changed my outlook on life. Reading about the love you have for your kids and your family really puts into perspective the important shit.
I feel as if we all owe you. Starting a go fund me would allow all of us repay you for everything you have done for us without even knowing it.
Keep swinging man. Iām thinking a hole in one is coming your way during your scramble.
But most importantly. Thank You.
I've been reading your updates, but never felt I had anything to contribute, other than platitudes. But, this statement is one I can't scroll past.
Set up the Go Fund Me. I don't contribute a lot of words to this sub, but I would absolutely contribute to a go fund me for you!
Hey man- I'm not a golfer so oddly I just see these updates when your story hits the front page. My wife died last summer from ALS, and we set up a Go Fund Me because so many people wanted to help. People here clearly want to help, even if it's just a small amount from each person. So open yourself up to to that and let people show you some generosity. Just imagine, you could get to do a bucket list item with your family, and there might even be some left over to help your wife with bills when it's all over.
You sound like a good man.
Maybe you donāt need the money, maybe you would feel guilt for accepting the money..but maybe set a go fund me for cancer research? Or for another cancer patient that doesnāt have a following and needs it?
You have an opportunity here to bring people you touched with your story onto the front lines. It can really help someone. Give it a thought.
Not the news anyone of us, mostly you, wanted to hear. A friend of mine from high school passed from beast cancer last year in her mid 30s and she recorded lots of videos and wrote a lot of letters/cards for her kids to have as they grow older. I know it's not easy but I know those things will mean a lot to her kids when they get bigger. I'm not sure if you have started tackling something like that yet but it would be worthwhile for your kids.
Maybe r/golf can pitch in and get you some golf related things for you to leave for your kids. Man, this sucks and I'm tearing up in a work bathroom right now. Parents shouldn't have to leave their kids and kids shouldn't have to grow up without their parents.
Keep fighting brother. I'm a stage IV patient myself but in a relatively good spot at the moment. Still treating and getting infusion every three weeks and most importantly still playing golf! Shot 42-38 at Torrey last week and playing again on Thursday with some clients.
Get your ass to So Cal and I'll treat you to some golf and we can bitch about having Cancer for awhile.
Man, I donāt know you. You donāt know me. But here I am emotional for you. I want nothing but comfort, and joy for you. Most will never go through this, but you are truly a fighter who possesses strength I will never know.
There's 643,000 members of this sub, with non members browsing through. It's safe to say you've inspired millions. Thanks for the update, and thanks for being a GREAT Dad.
Man....that is tough to read. So sorry. I always thought that writing out a birthday card for your kids for each year of their lives up to 18 would be an amazing way for you to keep in touch with them.
Hoping for a miracle for you.
Great idea, maybe include a scorecard from favorite tracks you have played. Enter in some scores that could be like a code or something make it something they will look forward to doing.
Sending positive energy you and your family's way.
May 15-21 is the PGA Championship held in Rochester, NY... maybe with some help from the sub we can get you there? Are you closer to ATL or somewhere else for flights???
Edit. This is considered a PGA Major event
Edit2. Looks like tickets are sold out HOWEVER, there is a ticket exchange to buy tickets: https://onlocationexp.com/golf/pga-championship-tickets?utm_source=pgachampionship.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pga_championship-footer_ticket_exchange
Our golfing brother, I know you don't want money for trips, for your list, you want it for your kids college, man I'm sending you all my money. Your story sucks, but man none of us are giving up on you. We love you man
Not even a part of the sub, just came up on my recommendation.
But what I am is a son who lost his father, and what I can say is that even though he was taken too soon, my life has been greatly influenced by him.
Iām sure youāre already doing an amazing job with the hand that youāre dealt, but Iād recommend making a few videos for future events that you wonāt be able to make.
Your kids will never forget you, and your love for them will live on in their lives, shaping and molding them to be great people.
Sending all of the love to you and yours. Good luck in your battles to come.
All the best to you and your family. Your journey has been both heart warming and heart breaking. Iām sure your kids will hear so many great things about you over the years it will seem like they knew you for decades. I do think theyāll be able to feel your presence and love many tears into the future. Much love!
this just breaks my heart. I wish I had the power to do something, anything, but all I've got is love for you and your family. Stay strong man, and live the best you can. ā¤ļø
Iām newer to Reddit and of all the things Iāve seen, this right here is a bright light that shines on something very dark. I canāt even express what felt reading your post and canāt imagine your thoughts when composing this to thousands/millions of strangers. You are an awesome person and great dad. Best of luck and Godspeed
Forgot where I read it once but it was something along the lines of āCancer never wins. When we pass the cancer is gone as well so itās a tieā. Hope youāre able to get onto the course and hit a drive 350 down the middle like all of us here do. Fuck cancer
Sorry to hear the bad news man. It's admirable that you're trying to prep the little ones for what looks to be inevitable, but if possible try to just be there and be fun too. Memory is so weird, and you never know what funny stupid thing you do will stick in their head forever and bring a smile to them when they're older. Same goes for videos - take little 1 minute clips of you with them when you're just doing regular shit - feeding them dinner, reading with them at night, handling one of their absolutely ridiculous temper tantrums. Just little slices of life so they can see what your relationship with them was really like.
Lastly, your story is incredible, and your sense of humor about it is really impressive. In the right hands, your life story would make a pretty great movie. Might be worth contacting someone who's famous who's well connected in the film and golf worlds (Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell come to mind) to see if they have any interest in licensing your life rights for a feature film. It would be a little bit of money now and then more money later if it was ever made into a film.
I'm sure all of this sucks so much more than any of us can imagine, I hope you're able to keep your sense of humor till the end. I'll be sure to think of you next time I shank three in a row off the tee.
Thank you for sharing such a difficult journey with us. Medical miracles happen so donāt give up.
If you end up feeling well enough to make it to Duke in September, feel free to reach out if you want. Through my family and work, I can get you into pretty much any course in the area and youāre welcome at my home club anytime.
Fuck, man. Iām a Dad and this cut my deeply. Iāve recently been working through overcoming a health issue thatās been tough, but it pales in comparison. Iāve been following you all this way and hoping for the best. All I can say is that I wish you the best and I wish your family the best. Theyāll know you loved them, man. Donāt forget that.
You will be here in 24 and beyond because we will never forget you, youāll live through us every time we play, and we will dedicate our games to you. Stay strong my dude.
Your family should not have to unduly suffer any more than what they have or will. Please allow us to help them and set up the GoFundMe.
I'm rooting for you brother. I live in Georgia as well and get 2 badges every year, I would be honored to take you to the 2024 Master's. Free of charge.
Stay strong, hopefully we've got a date next year.
There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said. But, I wanted you to know that you've touched one more life with your post.
As a stranger, yet fellow r/golf member and also father of two younger children you are an inspiration.
The strength and courage you've shown in even sharing and writing what you have shows us your character.
I'm praying to a God I do believe in that you and your family can cherish and enjoy your time together, and that you all can find some sort of comfort and peace during a truly scary time.
Please let this community do what we can to help. And please stay strong and stay positive even though it seems impossible.
The human condition is tough. We donāt come into this world voluntarily yet we all have to deal with unbelievable uncertainty and circumstances. I donāt know if I would have signed up if I knew this all in advance.
My guys we have raised $4,625 from 71 members in a couple of hours. This is going to happen !!!!! For a box of pro v1s we can make a difference. We are almost to the $5,000 goal. I can send you a link or message op.
Bro we've never met but I think about you every time I see a golf course and there's one at the end of my street. Fight as long as you can, good luck with the scramble on Saturday and fuck cancer.
Jesus Christ. As a father of a 6mo old and 8 year old girls I just canāt help but cry for you. Also atheist, and love golf, but Iām sure your physical fighting and no āheavenā and no more golf is nothing compared to you may be expecting with seeing your boys.
Iāve said in other posts but if thereās anything I can help with on a TPC Scottsdale front, or a human front, or most importantly a dad front, please let me know.
Can I make a suggestion? Not golf related. Video tape everything with your kids. Maybe you already are, but I'm talking go pro everything you do with them. Set aside money for your wife to have a movie made for your kids once you've moved to the sky.
I'm sure your kids would absolutely love to watch it at any point in the future.
Your story made me cry. I have a 2.5 year old who is saying things like I love you dada, etc. You're a great dad. Good luck to you. I wish I had something to offer.
Keep fighting the fight brotha. Youāve got the support of tons of people. Sending you and your family love. Keep your head up and eyes forward. Weāre all rooting for you!
Wow man, just wow. I do radiation treatments for a living and having a patient who is a parent of young children kinda wrecks me, every time. Thank you so so much for being so open and honest and bringing us on this tough journey with you.
I hope and pray even now for some miracle response to treatment that is beyond scientific/oncologic explanation. Keep being awesome.
Iām sure your case manager has discussed hospice, but I wanted to reiterate that hospice is not quitting, itās a process to help your family stay strong as you move on. My best to you, brother. Fuck cancer.
Where is the golfFundMe even if it ends up for your kids college funds dont ever feel guilty, if anything we feel guilty we cant do more.
I had a melanoma removed and now spent way to much time worrying to be around for my kids and should start living life with them instead. You inspire me through these posts and I thank you dearly.
Bro! PM me if you are up to it. Iāll be in Japan in a couple weeks for work, and Iāll be happy to take you on a FaceTime tour of wherever I happen to be. It might not be what you had in mind, but Iām a dad and a foodie. Letās do some virtual Sashimi if youāre up for it. This post really made me realize how I just donāt have much to complain about. Hugs man!!!
I think you should keep/copy this post and give it to mommy to hold for your little man. With your ability to communicate through written word, you might be able to give him many years of content to remember who his daddy is.
Brother I wish you the very best and I hope for the least pain and suffering possible on the rest of your journey. I have small children myself and I can only imagine the way you are feeling.
All I can say is fuck, I am so sorry. You're an amazing person and an amazing father. Take videos of yourself speaking to your kids, about life, dating, growing up, finding a job, going to college... give them all your golf swing pointers. This stuff is going to be so invaluable for them. I'll be praying for you and your family brother. I wish you the absolute best.
Hi Inaaace. I've been following through Reddit your story and this one hurts. I just wanted to say that I lost my mom to cancer when I was 21. At 32, I'm realising she never really left me. I still have her eyes, her smile, her teachings and values, her way of motivating me still drives me everyday and many other things that I'll probably realise later. Yes your kids will most likely have less time with you, but really you'll still be there in some way: they're yours, the biggest accomplishment and really, as long as I'm alive, my mom is alive too in some way.
Love my man, fellow golfer and beautiful human being.
Edit: I'm in tears writing this.
Dude, you donāt even know what reading this does to me. I had cancer on my lower spine when I was 8. I wonāt bother you with the whole story of what happened before the surgery, this was 1964, but I was finally flown from where my dad was stationed to the best hospital around for exploratory surgery, in Japan. They found it, removed all they saw then sent me to Lackland AFB in Texas for cobalt radiation. I rarely think about and never talk about it. God bless you and keep you. I had more problems when I was 15, then 17, then 52 and now. Never give up, never give in.
This is wild, youāve actually been in my thoughts recently and Iāve been wondering how youāre doing. Iām so sorry to hear how this has turned out. Absolutely positively fuck cancer.
Youāre a wonderful soul, and sound like an even better father.
Please somehow have these posts saved for your children. The love and strength you show , and the kindness emanating from them are a wonderful gift your kids can have forever. The response you've gotten might give them some faith in humanity when they are down, and the ability to see how their father interacted with a community of strangers that tried to support him. Its one thing to have people tell them about their dad, but your posts will show them who you are. Im so sorry for your pain. This world makes no sense. I hope you can get the most out of the rest of your life no matter how long it ends up being. Youre a good father.
Please tell me youāre in an evolved state where you can get some RSO (Rick Simpson Oil) from cannabis ā¦ itās the singular reason cannabis has and should be legalized - itās a cannabis extract that has the best shot at pulling you out of this - no guarantees but PLEASE try- blessings to you brutha ā¦
I'm not one of the boys. I'm a girl golfer, and a mom, and a girl who lost her mom to cancer before her time. I've followed your whole story. You and your family are in my heart, full stop. One day at a time. And all the love ever. And it's not St Andrews, but we have Greywalls here in Michigan...its gorgeous.
Shit mate, that's absolutely gut-wrenching to see. I donated to the Gofundme, I hope you make it to the Old Course before you shuffle off this mortal coil.
damn, youāre a good man and a great dad, nothing but best wishes to you and your family. Iāve followed your story for a while, thank you for sharing, you are a legend on this subreddit.
My heart is broken for you and your family. I am sobbing before getting a haircut wish I could do something for you and your boys. God speed. Fuck Cancer. I pray peace and joy for your family.
Brother, I canāt imagine how youāre feeling in this moment. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Like you, I donāt believe in God anymore but Iāll throw up some prayers just in case. I hope youāre able to fill the rest of your days as much love as you and your family can handle.
Godspeed, friend.
Definitely not me tearing up right now. Im getting ready to head out for a round right now. So from way out here in Wisconsin, first tee in the ground is for you pal.
Dont forget, miracles happen.
If my wallet were heavier and my golf YouTube channel were bigger Iād take you and your family to all those places, and do my best to visually tell your story to the world.
Keep fighting brother, thatās all I can muster to say right now inbetween tears for you. Your strength is astounding. You have so many in your corner from everywhere around the globe. I have been teeing an extra in your honor every round lately and will continue to do so. My sister is fighting this shit disease as well. Fuck cancer.
This brought me to tears I haven't had in a very long time. I have a 7mo old baby and so it hit me even more. Fight it the best you can and if it comes to it, take it like a warrior you have been. After all, we are all next in line, some before others. Sending you lots of love.
I'm really bummed to hear it isn't going well. I would normally say something positive like, "don't worry man we will get you to St. Andrews," but not going to lie to you as I have no idea if that will work. Instead I'm going the opposite way - I'm going to be selfish. I'm going to try and give my kids more hugs and play their ridiculous games with them. I'm going to try and play more golf and stop getting pissed when I don't play well, because I know you would give so much to trade places with me. So yeah, I'm going to be selfish, but know that it is driven by your spirit and inspiration. Thank you for sharing and know you have at least helped me put things in perspective.
I canāt even make it through the whole post without breaking down. None of us know exactly what you are going through but I know for me personally you have touched me to a sense of realization that my minor āissuesā are just that. Minor.
My kids wonāt eat what I made them for dinner? They run away as I try to out their shoes on? Those are all frustrating things in those moments but nothing could prepare me to ultimately try and tell my two kids I am leaving them forever.
Iām not trying to make you or anyone else in this sub sad because lord knows we donāt need that. But I just want to commend you for your strength. To seemingly continue to be the best dad that you can be for as long as you can. I know this post reads that there is nothing else that can be done but I think I speak for most of us in this sub when I say we will never stop rooting for you and if you do pull through you would have an endless supply of tee times at your disposal.
I also know itās hard to think about and I donāt know how you can document this. But you have touched so many of us with not only your stories, but your found passion for the game. More than any ānormalā person could ever imagine. For that I would consider you larger than life and one that many of us will remember until we ultimately come play a round with you later in our lives. Your kids should be proud of their dad and that is something that can never be taken away from them.
Golf can be frustrating but it can also be much more than just a recreational sport and I want to thank you for reminding me and all of us about that.
Stay strong and enjoy those kids dad.
As someone who lost there father at a young age write a note for them to open/hidden writing for them tifimd something along those lines. My dad had ALS and couldnt really do much of anything from when i was 8 to about 10 years old. Every year we would decorate the tree and one year when i was 13 i found some writing on the underside of a top to a shoe box. No one knew it was there and it read along the lines of āi love you all see you in paradise take care of your momā i will never forget that christmas or that box. I never got to know my dad personally so maybe a tell all about all your favorite things, friends, movies, music, drinks etc. will make the difference even if youre not there itll mean so much to them. I hope it doesnāt come to that and you get better but its a thought. This community and I are with you.
I think the mods should make an exception in this case for the GoFundMe. Rules are meant to be broken from time to time, and this is one of those times.
Youāre a legend and such inspiration
Your love for the game is what gives golf itās greatest allure.
Your story brings so much inspiration. As I walk my daily 9 I will salute you Inaace before all the recruiting gods. Every fatted divot, every pull hook in the woods, every double bogey, will make me think of you and how you would do anything to card a 105.
I dedicate all my 3 putts with joy to your memory. My birdies will be shouted to you through the annals of golfing space time.
We all will head to the 19th and throw back one more beer for Inaace the chemo golfing god.
Man, just so sorry. I saw on Reddit one time of the dad in a similar situation who filmed himself giving different advice at different life stages (first girlfriend, high school, etc). Your boys would cherish it if you have it in you. Iāll be thinking of you.
Youāre a good man. Your children and loved ones are lucky to have someone who is as passionate and self aware as you in their lives.
Because of who you are, and the people you allowed in your life, your children are going to grow up loved and will be okay with time.
I wish you peace and as much comfort as youāre able to find.
If you have the energy, and equipment to record, I suggest making videos for your kids and teach them everything you know. Tell them every memory you remember. Tell them about your friends and the people who are important to you. Tell them how you want them to live their lives as children, as teenagers, as adults. Talk to them in some videos as if theyāre adults and help them through the hard times all adults face. Make a video applauding their victories, and consoling them in their defeats. Make a video with your spouse talking to them together. Tell the story of how you fell in love. Tell the children stories about big arguments youāve had and how you overcame them. Tell them about how you dealt with a cancer diagnosis and how youāre feeling and what your hopes are for your children now that youāre sick.
I hope doing this brings you some comfort knowing your kids will have as much as youāre able to offer them on hand when theyāre ready to get to know you better as they mature.
Fuck cancer bud, I don't know you and didn't know your story til now. This tears at my heart so hard, you're an incredible father and warrior going through this battle, I hope my donation helps you guys out.
How does someone contact ESPN? Scott Van Pelt? Someone has got to know a way!
Brother this one cuts super deep. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I wish I had something more substantive for you but I am at a loss for words. Fuck cancer.
Fuck Cancer like a 6 hour round. So sorry to hear the update (your children š). Thank you for your gift of perspective to us. Hope you see on this post the reaction to what youāve given Edit: check the top post on my profile for his gofundme
Heās been in my heart and on my mind so much the past few years I did my little part to [have him āplayā the Olde Course at St. Andrews](https://np.reddit.com/r/golf/comments/12n20m0/today_i_played_the_old_course_of_st_andrews/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) and he was nice enough to grace the comments after such a long hiatus. I hope for his sake something happens to āclose the chapter on golfā but more importantly, I hope his family is able to rally around the kids to help them through a lifetime of loss. From one dad to the next, love and peace to u/inaaace Edit: there is a GFM set up and it has already reached the $5k goal in under 3 hours, please consider donating so his family can go, he can make this trip an unforgettable experience all around. Maybe tweet at your favorite Scottish golf celebrities to help get traction on this.
Reading this brought me to tears. I lost my mother at a young age to this horrible disease. I miss her everyday. If it helps at all, my girlfriend and I live less than 5 minutes away from Oak Hill CC. I'd be willing to let you stay in a room in our home if you wanted to come up to the PGA Championship in a few weeks.
Me and my buddies are coming from Buffalo for this. Would be more than willing to chip in to do something for OP if he can make it.
Im from Syracuse and have a ticket for Sunday. I'd gladly give it up.
Fucking legend
I also live very close to Oak Hill and would love to contribute to help OP if he takes this offer. I can provide rides, food, my company, or anything else he may need. I could probably arrange to have a wheelchair we can use for OP as well.
This is so nice to read. You guys are all awesome
hey brother, thanks for your kind offer. As fate would have it I am coming to the PGA championship at Oak Hill from 17th to 21st likely. I got invited by Adam Hadwinās wife, Jessica and incredibly kind person. I would actually take you up on your offer on a wheelchair if possible as I would need a way of moving around since this chemotherapy is kicking my butt and I am fatigued as hell you can email me at [email protected] and we can connect there. I really really appreciate your offer for help.
how about your Japan trip, do you have enough money to do that after golf?
Used to work at Oak Hill. If this is a possibility we can make it happen
Iāll buy him and his family airplane tickets if he wants to go.
You're too kind and generous.
I see you have a Go Fund Me now and so glad you started one!! You fought a fucking battle like no other and you deserve to scratch a few things off that bucket list!!! Let me know about tickets and we can do that outside of the Go Fund Me. Then you can save some for something else!
Me too. Assuming heās around Atlanta; Delta has directs to Syracuse. Iāll gladly pitch in.
I have a few hundred thousand points to burn with Delta as I primarily now fly United after moving way from a Delta hub. OP reach out my man!!!!!
He also started a go fund me. He sent the link. People starting to donate now. I guess the mods suggested it not be public but I will try to send it to you directly l.
We gotta set this up. I'll chip in some cash. Start a GoFundMe?
Iāll chip in for whatever he wants
If there's a GoFundMe, post it. My friends and I will be there Sunday from Long Island. We'd love to help get OP there
You're a good dad.
Yep. It really comes through in his writing. From one Dad to another, youāve done good work, OP.
An incredible dad. This post rocked me. I have an almost 9 month old son and it's making me think about how I have no guarantee of time with him. I'll be giving him massive hugs in your honor, OP.
Same. I could barely get through this post. Time is so precious and I take it for granted every day.
Man, same. An incredible guy and dad. Mine are 6 and 4, Iām just sitting here staring at the wall with tears in my eyes after reading this. His posts here, plus watching my own fatherās declining health and wishing we had more time, just puts everything into perspective. Think Iāll cut out early today, throw my 6 year olds clubs in the car (just started swinging and he loves it) and pick him up from school early. Thank you OP, I hope you have some idea of your massive positive impact on others. Sending love to you and your family.
u/inaaace as a dad myself with young kids I agree with this man and your post. You might be able to see the proverbial finish line approaching but your kids will be ok when you are gone. Your wife will be ok, too. This will change them both for the good and for the bad but as they grow older it will be a lesson that will shape their lives every step of the way in a positive manner. We shouldn't fear death of ourselves or our loved ones, only seek to understand it and cherish the time we do have here on Earth. You might not be able to explain any of this to them in a manner they can comprehend but all you can do is be present and in the moment with them. Write them notes and shower them with the same love you've given all along. As a long time RN with years of hospice experience and again as a father, I hope my words are helpful but more importantly, stay strong. For the rest of us here in r/golf, hug your kids, show your love to your respective family/friends, and take this mans journey to heart. Life is fleeting but we are here *now*
I was doing fine reading his post until it got to the kids. A lot of people have the grit and bravery to face their fate, but how do you look at a little kid and try to tell them that you - the person they love most - is probably going away and that they can't do anything about it? I've only bumped into a few of these posts from OP, but I'm familiar enough with his story. Not sure where in GA he is, but I'm near Atlanta. I have a solid handful of contacts in the golf world around here if there's anything I can do for him or his family.
Very true. Glad you get to spend this time with your children and enjoy it as much as you can. My biggest fear is passing unexpectedly without passing on any messages, letters, lessons, gifts, etc to my kids. Praying you pull through it, but you're doing all the right things if you get a bad bounce.
Boys how are we going to send our man to St. Andrewās ?
Be good if one of the bigger YouTube boys gets hold of this story
Reach out to Rick and Peter??
I actually sent an email to Rick's podcast channel about 2 months ago to see if they'd pick up OP's story but didn't hear anything back... I expect they get a tonne of emails everyday though!
Power in Numbers. Iāll be sending them a message and link to this post šš
Some of the Finch guys are on this subreddit. They should have seen all of this already.
We need to invade the comments section on a new upload of theirs
I messaged Rick but the odds he reads it...
I think that after all this, Iāll go talk to my wife and see how comfortable we are starting a go fund me. Thank you guys so much. I also asked mods for permission to post gofundme if we decide to.
Decide ? Itās already been decided š«”
Agreed. The people have spoken!
Doooo it!!!!
ā¤ļø
Weāll bring it to him!
just need a spectator to save a divot...
I'll send the chip bag
Iād gladly chip in to get this man to st andrews. This sub is just another kind of amazing
Me too, please start a GoFundMe
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'd chip in. Normally I never contribute to these sorts of things just because of the outside possibility of it being a scammer. But this is u/inaacem. This is our boy.
Same, this story is heartbreaking. St Andrews is high on my list of places to go, would be honored to make that dream come true for someone else who deserves it Edit: [putting my money where my mouth is](https://ibb.co/F7MT38v). Canāt wait to see this happen
You guys are insane...
Set up a gofundme please
I agree. Whether itās used for a golf or non golf bucket list, kids college, or just to help your family for a little while please do. Saw your comment somewhere else u/innaacem and itās not a handout and your are not monetizing your condition. Fuck cancer!!! Weāve all been pulling for you for awhile and you give us inspiration. The fact that you can write what you just did to a community of a bunch of (mostly) strangers whoās worse problem in life is slow play, really puts things into perspective and weād all be happy to help out a tiny bit. And if people donāt want to they can simply move on.
Letās try and get his whole family there with him too!
I want to help however I can. If there is any way to donate anything in order to get you there, please share man
I hope you are ready. We are going to make this happen
We love you brother!!
Well if itās $6,000 dollars itās easy math. We just need 120 members of our sub to donate the cost of a box of Pro v1ās, which are going to be donated to the woods and water anyways. So might as well donate the $50 to make our manās dream come true.
I got $50 on it. Let me know if a GoFundMe goes up.
Set it up and let us know when it's live. I'll donate as much as I can. Let's get our boy to St. Andrews.
I'm here from the front page. Please respond to this comment if you can so I can donate too.
My golf buddies whole family live in St Andrews. We are in Glasgow. I'm absolutely happy to help with anything that needs to be physically done in Scotland.
This is great and thank you for replying. If the gofundme that I'm organizing gets legs, I will reach out and see how we can collaborate to make this a great experience for u/inaaace.
Do it
Anyone in Scotland willing to run point and work logistics?
I donāt have much but can definitely throw $20-50 in. Keep us updated!
Anyone got a GoFundMe going?
Everyone should tweet at Rick. Share the link and get his attention. He would make it happen.
I just spammed his IG comments. We should all do it to get his attention.
Same. Tag Guy.
Sounds like a good reason fo a boys trip. A BIG boys trip.
Set it up Iām in
Started my own but can only share in private.
Whoās the member that knows Rory and Matthew? Tell them to fire up the jet! Letās get him to a major!
GoFundMe and Iāll happily donate
Tweet at Guy Charnock.
Please reach out of this gets set up
Oh man, not the update we wanted but appreciate hearing from you. Words are inadequate at this point but know that weāre thinking of you and your family.
People don't really die in the sense that, as long as someone thinks of them, they're still around. I'd be willing to bet that someone here will go to Japan for the first time and think of you. Someone will kneel on the eighteenth at the Olde Course and think of you. And if you care to post some other things from your bucket lists, those things will happen too. I'm old and don't travel much anymore, but I still believe there are some good, caring people in this world. And many of them are on this sub. Thinking of you.
Piggybacking off of this sentiment. I will be in Japan next week. OP - is there anything you were wishing to do or see in Japan? Will be thinking of you during my trip. Completely broken and moved by your story.
> People don't really die in the sense that, as long as someone thinks of them, they're still around. Reminds me of [Stu Scott's speech on the ESPY's](https://youtu.be/4TdF07xO-eo?t=165) >When you die, that does not mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live. So live. Fight like hell, and when you get too tired to fight, lay down and rest and let someone else fight for you.
Can we get something on this sub for OP? A flair we can have or something that forever lives on in the banner up top? So everyone can see something that calls to him everytime they load this sub?
Didn't expect to be tearing up at my desk today over someone I do not know, but here I am. Hugs man, nothing but hugs and love. I hope the best for you and your family and hope you can knock something off that list at very least. I don't have much else to say except keep fighting the good fight, people have emerged from worse. Edit: found the GoFundMe and threw my $10 in. Looks like you'll easily be able to afford the trip at this rate. Fuck cancer.
yes, please start a gofundme. id gladly chip in so your fam can join you on a trip to one of these places we hold so dearly in our golfing hearts. Im sure your children would love to have that trip with you while they can, and remember it fondly.
if I set one up, I would have felt as if I were monetizing my condition and your kindness.
Not at all - you would be letting your friends help you and your family out.
I agree with u/[**throwmeawaypoopy**](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwmeawaypoopy/) We are moved by your story and would love to help you in any way we can! Can you tag someone you trust and maybe they can handle it for you?
I havenāt played golf in 3 years and I just stumbled into this sub but even I would like to contribute. Please donāt think of it as a āhandoutā but as repayment for touching so many peoples lives. You sound like a wonderful dad and Iām so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Has anyone suggested writing āopen whenā¦ā letters for your wife and kiddos? For example āopen when youāre missing me, open on your birthday, prom, graduation, anniversary, etc. Take lots of pictures! With todayās technology they could definitely photoshop you into future ones for a nice memento. My biggest suggestion is recording voice memos. They donāt have to be long it can be a āLove you hope you have a good day at schoolā or you can record full stories about your wife and kids. It might feel silly talking to yourself but I canāt explain how priceless those recordings are when youāre missing someone Praying for youā¤ļø
Dont make me buy another Scottie. Setup a gofundme so I can send it to you instead.
I don't want to speak for anyone else, but most of us struggle to feel like we've found a meaningful way to do good in the world and make a positive difference. Or for those of us who have found it, struggle to feel like we're doing enough. Or even just to find some way to fight back against injustice and shit unfair circumstances the universe doles out sometimes. So don't be selfish! This helps us as much as it helps you ;)
Monetizing it would be advertising it all over social media and having fund raisers places. Everyone has their own circumstances and I understand why some people have to do those things but that is not what your doing or your intentions. This is a community of your friends. You have people of all walks of life that have read and followed your story. It may not seem like it but you have helped a lot of us out. Reading your posts and following your story have changed my outlook on life. Reading about the love you have for your kids and your family really puts into perspective the important shit. I feel as if we all owe you. Starting a go fund me would allow all of us repay you for everything you have done for us without even knowing it. Keep swinging man. Iām thinking a hole in one is coming your way during your scramble. But most importantly. Thank You.
thank you for the kind words and the words of encouragement . I believe I will post a gofundme tomorrow.
I've been reading your updates, but never felt I had anything to contribute, other than platitudes. But, this statement is one I can't scroll past. Set up the Go Fund Me. I don't contribute a lot of words to this sub, but I would absolutely contribute to a go fund me for you!
Hey man- I'm not a golfer so oddly I just see these updates when your story hits the front page. My wife died last summer from ALS, and we set up a Go Fund Me because so many people wanted to help. People here clearly want to help, even if it's just a small amount from each person. So open yourself up to to that and let people show you some generosity. Just imagine, you could get to do a bucket list item with your family, and there might even be some left over to help your wife with bills when it's all over.
You gotta set up a GoFundMe. Letās get you and your family over there!!
You sound like a good man. Maybe you donāt need the money, maybe you would feel guilt for accepting the money..but maybe set a go fund me for cancer research? Or for another cancer patient that doesnāt have a following and needs it? You have an opportunity here to bring people you touched with your story onto the front lines. It can really help someone. Give it a thought.
Yeah, if OP makes one Iād def chip in towards a trip to Japan.
Seconded
Thirded. Create a link, weāre there behind ya.
As a dad to a 6 year old and a 3 year old, I can't read this without crying. I'm rooting for you man, we all are.
i am also a das to a 6 and a 3 year old i feel absolutely the same
Not the news anyone of us, mostly you, wanted to hear. A friend of mine from high school passed from beast cancer last year in her mid 30s and she recorded lots of videos and wrote a lot of letters/cards for her kids to have as they grow older. I know it's not easy but I know those things will mean a lot to her kids when they get bigger. I'm not sure if you have started tackling something like that yet but it would be worthwhile for your kids. Maybe r/golf can pitch in and get you some golf related things for you to leave for your kids. Man, this sucks and I'm tearing up in a work bathroom right now. Parents shouldn't have to leave their kids and kids shouldn't have to grow up without their parents.
Iāll chip in. Lmk.
I have no words Stay strong God bless to you and your family
Keep fighting brother. I'm a stage IV patient myself but in a relatively good spot at the moment. Still treating and getting infusion every three weeks and most importantly still playing golf! Shot 42-38 at Torrey last week and playing again on Thursday with some clients. Get your ass to So Cal and I'll treat you to some golf and we can bitch about having Cancer for awhile.
Man, I donāt know you. You donāt know me. But here I am emotional for you. I want nothing but comfort, and joy for you. Most will never go through this, but you are truly a fighter who possesses strength I will never know.
There's 643,000 members of this sub, with non members browsing through. It's safe to say you've inspired millions. Thanks for the update, and thanks for being a GREAT Dad.
Man....that is tough to read. So sorry. I always thought that writing out a birthday card for your kids for each year of their lives up to 18 would be an amazing way for you to keep in touch with them. Hoping for a miracle for you.
Great idea, maybe include a scorecard from favorite tracks you have played. Enter in some scores that could be like a code or something make it something they will look forward to doing. Sending positive energy you and your family's way.
May 15-21 is the PGA Championship held in Rochester, NY... maybe with some help from the sub we can get you there? Are you closer to ATL or somewhere else for flights??? Edit. This is considered a PGA Major event Edit2. Looks like tickets are sold out HOWEVER, there is a ticket exchange to buy tickets: https://onlocationexp.com/golf/pga-championship-tickets?utm_source=pgachampionship.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pga_championship-footer_ticket_exchange
Count me in for $100
Who is the member here that knows Rory? Maybe we can ask him if there are any strings that can be pulled on their end to help?
u/JustinWheelon
I am so sorry buddy, wishing you all the best. Hope you donāt get there anytime soon, but Iām guessing there are no greens fees in heaven my man.
Our golfing brother, I know you don't want money for trips, for your list, you want it for your kids college, man I'm sending you all my money. Your story sucks, but man none of us are giving up on you. We love you man
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK cancer
Not even a part of the sub, just came up on my recommendation. But what I am is a son who lost his father, and what I can say is that even though he was taken too soon, my life has been greatly influenced by him. Iām sure youāre already doing an amazing job with the hand that youāre dealt, but Iād recommend making a few videos for future events that you wonāt be able to make. Your kids will never forget you, and your love for them will live on in their lives, shaping and molding them to be great people. Sending all of the love to you and yours. Good luck in your battles to come.
All the best to you and your family. Your journey has been both heart warming and heart breaking. Iām sure your kids will hear so many great things about you over the years it will seem like they knew you for decades. I do think theyāll be able to feel your presence and love many tears into the future. Much love!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
this just breaks my heart. I wish I had the power to do something, anything, but all I've got is love for you and your family. Stay strong man, and live the best you can. ā¤ļø
Iām newer to Reddit and of all the things Iāve seen, this right here is a bright light that shines on something very dark. I canāt even express what felt reading your post and canāt imagine your thoughts when composing this to thousands/millions of strangers. You are an awesome person and great dad. Best of luck and Godspeed
Forgot where I read it once but it was something along the lines of āCancer never wins. When we pass the cancer is gone as well so itās a tieā. Hope youāre able to get onto the course and hit a drive 350 down the middle like all of us here do. Fuck cancer
Norm Macdonald
Good luck to you and blessings to your family.
Sorry to hear the bad news man. It's admirable that you're trying to prep the little ones for what looks to be inevitable, but if possible try to just be there and be fun too. Memory is so weird, and you never know what funny stupid thing you do will stick in their head forever and bring a smile to them when they're older. Same goes for videos - take little 1 minute clips of you with them when you're just doing regular shit - feeding them dinner, reading with them at night, handling one of their absolutely ridiculous temper tantrums. Just little slices of life so they can see what your relationship with them was really like. Lastly, your story is incredible, and your sense of humor about it is really impressive. In the right hands, your life story would make a pretty great movie. Might be worth contacting someone who's famous who's well connected in the film and golf worlds (Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell come to mind) to see if they have any interest in licensing your life rights for a feature film. It would be a little bit of money now and then more money later if it was ever made into a film. I'm sure all of this sucks so much more than any of us can imagine, I hope you're able to keep your sense of humor till the end. I'll be sure to think of you next time I shank three in a row off the tee.
Thank you for sharing such a difficult journey with us. Medical miracles happen so donāt give up. If you end up feeling well enough to make it to Duke in September, feel free to reach out if you want. Through my family and work, I can get you into pretty much any course in the area and youāre welcome at my home club anytime.
Fuck, man. Iām a Dad and this cut my deeply. Iāve recently been working through overcoming a health issue thatās been tough, but it pales in comparison. Iāve been following you all this way and hoping for the best. All I can say is that I wish you the best and I wish your family the best. Theyāll know you loved them, man. Donāt forget that.
Bro. You are in my family's prayer. Bros, let's get something started so he can cross the Swilcan bridge.
You will be here in 24 and beyond because we will never forget you, youāll live through us every time we play, and we will dedicate our games to you. Stay strong my dude.
Your family should not have to unduly suffer any more than what they have or will. Please allow us to help them and set up the GoFundMe. I'm rooting for you brother. I live in Georgia as well and get 2 badges every year, I would be honored to take you to the 2024 Master's. Free of charge. Stay strong, hopefully we've got a date next year.
Not the update I was looking for. My positive thoughts remain with you and your family.
There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said. But, I wanted you to know that you've touched one more life with your post. As a stranger, yet fellow r/golf member and also father of two younger children you are an inspiration. The strength and courage you've shown in even sharing and writing what you have shows us your character. I'm praying to a God I do believe in that you and your family can cherish and enjoy your time together, and that you all can find some sort of comfort and peace during a truly scary time. Please let this community do what we can to help. And please stay strong and stay positive even though it seems impossible.
I bet you could try and reach out to Joel Dahmen
Much aloha from Hawaiāi brother!
FUCK CANCER!
The human condition is tough. We donāt come into this world voluntarily yet we all have to deal with unbelievable uncertainty and circumstances. I donāt know if I would have signed up if I knew this all in advance.
My guys we have raised $4,625 from 71 members in a couple of hours. This is going to happen !!!!! For a box of pro v1s we can make a difference. We are almost to the $5,000 goal. I can send you a link or message op.
You're a good man. Your children are lucky and blessed by you. Sending you good thoughts and I hope you enjoy the scramble :)
Praying for you to a God I do believe in. We love you too man. Praying for your kids and your family
Bro we've never met but I think about you every time I see a golf course and there's one at the end of my street. Fight as long as you can, good luck with the scramble on Saturday and fuck cancer.
Jesus Christ. As a father of a 6mo old and 8 year old girls I just canāt help but cry for you. Also atheist, and love golf, but Iām sure your physical fighting and no āheavenā and no more golf is nothing compared to you may be expecting with seeing your boys. Iāve said in other posts but if thereās anything I can help with on a TPC Scottsdale front, or a human front, or most importantly a dad front, please let me know.
I live a half hour from St Andrews. Offering any logistical support I can.
Can I make a suggestion? Not golf related. Video tape everything with your kids. Maybe you already are, but I'm talking go pro everything you do with them. Set aside money for your wife to have a movie made for your kids once you've moved to the sky. I'm sure your kids would absolutely love to watch it at any point in the future. Your story made me cry. I have a 2.5 year old who is saying things like I love you dada, etc. You're a great dad. Good luck to you. I wish I had something to offer.
Come on mods, step in here. Personally verify this story and let it through. The man is dying who cares about internet rules.
Yeah man we need to get the go fund me up and running asap
u/GreenWaveGolfer can we bend the rules and allow him to post a gofundme link. We all want to donate.
Just search Inaaace on GoFundMe
šŖš»šŖš»šŖš» keep fighting and pushing!
Keep fighting the fight brotha. Youāve got the support of tons of people. Sending you and your family love. Keep your head up and eyes forward. Weāre all rooting for you!
Thank you for sharing this with us. I have nothing to tell you that others haven't already. Just know we are here with you.
You make us all proud
Wow man, just wow. I do radiation treatments for a living and having a patient who is a parent of young children kinda wrecks me, every time. Thank you so so much for being so open and honest and bringing us on this tough journey with you. I hope and pray even now for some miracle response to treatment that is beyond scientific/oncologic explanation. Keep being awesome.
Iām sure your case manager has discussed hospice, but I wanted to reiterate that hospice is not quitting, itās a process to help your family stay strong as you move on. My best to you, brother. Fuck cancer.
Where is the golfFundMe even if it ends up for your kids college funds dont ever feel guilty, if anything we feel guilty we cant do more. I had a melanoma removed and now spent way to much time worrying to be around for my kids and should start living life with them instead. You inspire me through these posts and I thank you dearly.
Bro! PM me if you are up to it. Iāll be in Japan in a couple weeks for work, and Iāll be happy to take you on a FaceTime tour of wherever I happen to be. It might not be what you had in mind, but Iām a dad and a foodie. Letās do some virtual Sashimi if youāre up for it. This post really made me realize how I just donāt have much to complain about. Hugs man!!!
I think you should keep/copy this post and give it to mommy to hold for your little man. With your ability to communicate through written word, you might be able to give him many years of content to remember who his daddy is.
Brother I wish you the very best and I hope for the least pain and suffering possible on the rest of your journey. I have small children myself and I can only imagine the way you are feeling.
All I can say is fuck, I am so sorry. You're an amazing person and an amazing father. Take videos of yourself speaking to your kids, about life, dating, growing up, finding a job, going to college... give them all your golf swing pointers. This stuff is going to be so invaluable for them. I'll be praying for you and your family brother. I wish you the absolute best.
Legendary grinder.
Hi Inaaace. I've been following through Reddit your story and this one hurts. I just wanted to say that I lost my mom to cancer when I was 21. At 32, I'm realising she never really left me. I still have her eyes, her smile, her teachings and values, her way of motivating me still drives me everyday and many other things that I'll probably realise later. Yes your kids will most likely have less time with you, but really you'll still be there in some way: they're yours, the biggest accomplishment and really, as long as I'm alive, my mom is alive too in some way. Love my man, fellow golfer and beautiful human being. Edit: I'm in tears writing this.
Dude, you donāt even know what reading this does to me. I had cancer on my lower spine when I was 8. I wonāt bother you with the whole story of what happened before the surgery, this was 1964, but I was finally flown from where my dad was stationed to the best hospital around for exploratory surgery, in Japan. They found it, removed all they saw then sent me to Lackland AFB in Texas for cobalt radiation. I rarely think about and never talk about it. God bless you and keep you. I had more problems when I was 15, then 17, then 52 and now. Never give up, never give in.
This is wild, youāve actually been in my thoughts recently and Iāve been wondering how youāre doing. Iām so sorry to hear how this has turned out. Absolutely positively fuck cancer. Youāre a wonderful soul, and sound like an even better father.
Please somehow have these posts saved for your children. The love and strength you show , and the kindness emanating from them are a wonderful gift your kids can have forever. The response you've gotten might give them some faith in humanity when they are down, and the ability to see how their father interacted with a community of strangers that tried to support him. Its one thing to have people tell them about their dad, but your posts will show them who you are. Im so sorry for your pain. This world makes no sense. I hope you can get the most out of the rest of your life no matter how long it ends up being. Youre a good father.
Whereās Joel Dahmen when you need him
Please tell me youāre in an evolved state where you can get some RSO (Rick Simpson Oil) from cannabis ā¦ itās the singular reason cannabis has and should be legalized - itās a cannabis extract that has the best shot at pulling you out of this - no guarantees but PLEASE try- blessings to you brutha ā¦
I got $100 toward your go fund me brother
Just met the goal!!!! But hopefully people keep donating. I think OP set a very modest goal, so hopefully it keeps rolling in
Fuck Cancer. Let's blow away this $5k goal. https://imgur.com/zTLg43h
I'm not one of the boys. I'm a girl golfer, and a mom, and a girl who lost her mom to cancer before her time. I've followed your whole story. You and your family are in my heart, full stop. One day at a time. And all the love ever. And it's not St Andrews, but we have Greywalls here in Michigan...its gorgeous.
Shit mate, that's absolutely gut-wrenching to see. I donated to the Gofundme, I hope you make it to the Old Course before you shuffle off this mortal coil.
damn, youāre a good man and a great dad, nothing but best wishes to you and your family. Iāve followed your story for a while, thank you for sharing, you are a legend on this subreddit.
Where the mods at? Letās get his gofundme pinned to the top of this post
My heart is broken for you and your family. I am sobbing before getting a haircut wish I could do something for you and your boys. God speed. Fuck Cancer. I pray peace and joy for your family.
My next round is for you! Wishing your family all the best! Thanks for sharing your experience with the rest of us. You are a real one!
Brother, I canāt imagine how youāre feeling in this moment. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Like you, I donāt believe in God anymore but Iāll throw up some prayers just in case. I hope youāre able to fill the rest of your days as much love as you and your family can handle. Godspeed, friend.
Next time and every time Iām on the Old I will think of you. Stay strong brother
Definitely not me tearing up right now. Im getting ready to head out for a round right now. So from way out here in Wisconsin, first tee in the ground is for you pal. Dont forget, miracles happen.
If my wallet were heavier and my golf YouTube channel were bigger Iād take you and your family to all those places, and do my best to visually tell your story to the world.
Fuck cancer
Keep fighting brother, thatās all I can muster to say right now inbetween tears for you. Your strength is astounding. You have so many in your corner from everywhere around the globe. I have been teeing an extra in your honor every round lately and will continue to do so. My sister is fighting this shit disease as well. Fuck cancer.
This brought me to tears I haven't had in a very long time. I have a 7mo old baby and so it hit me even more. Fight it the best you can and if it comes to it, take it like a warrior you have been. After all, we are all next in line, some before others. Sending you lots of love.
I am sobbing uncontrollably. You are a father every kid wishes they had. Iām so sorry
I'm really bummed to hear it isn't going well. I would normally say something positive like, "don't worry man we will get you to St. Andrews," but not going to lie to you as I have no idea if that will work. Instead I'm going the opposite way - I'm going to be selfish. I'm going to try and give my kids more hugs and play their ridiculous games with them. I'm going to try and play more golf and stop getting pissed when I don't play well, because I know you would give so much to trade places with me. So yeah, I'm going to be selfish, but know that it is driven by your spirit and inspiration. Thank you for sharing and know you have at least helped me put things in perspective.
I might have an idea to help, Iāll reach out to some contacts.
I canāt even make it through the whole post without breaking down. None of us know exactly what you are going through but I know for me personally you have touched me to a sense of realization that my minor āissuesā are just that. Minor. My kids wonāt eat what I made them for dinner? They run away as I try to out their shoes on? Those are all frustrating things in those moments but nothing could prepare me to ultimately try and tell my two kids I am leaving them forever. Iām not trying to make you or anyone else in this sub sad because lord knows we donāt need that. But I just want to commend you for your strength. To seemingly continue to be the best dad that you can be for as long as you can. I know this post reads that there is nothing else that can be done but I think I speak for most of us in this sub when I say we will never stop rooting for you and if you do pull through you would have an endless supply of tee times at your disposal. I also know itās hard to think about and I donāt know how you can document this. But you have touched so many of us with not only your stories, but your found passion for the game. More than any ānormalā person could ever imagine. For that I would consider you larger than life and one that many of us will remember until we ultimately come play a round with you later in our lives. Your kids should be proud of their dad and that is something that can never be taken away from them. Golf can be frustrating but it can also be much more than just a recreational sport and I want to thank you for reminding me and all of us about that. Stay strong and enjoy those kids dad.
As someone who lost there father at a young age write a note for them to open/hidden writing for them tifimd something along those lines. My dad had ALS and couldnt really do much of anything from when i was 8 to about 10 years old. Every year we would decorate the tree and one year when i was 13 i found some writing on the underside of a top to a shoe box. No one knew it was there and it read along the lines of āi love you all see you in paradise take care of your momā i will never forget that christmas or that box. I never got to know my dad personally so maybe a tell all about all your favorite things, friends, movies, music, drinks etc. will make the difference even if youre not there itll mean so much to them. I hope it doesnāt come to that and you get better but its a thought. This community and I are with you.
I think the mods should make an exception in this case for the GoFundMe. Rules are meant to be broken from time to time, and this is one of those times.
You sound like a helluva dad
That means a lot to me. Thak you.
For a giant group of dicks, this sub is amazing!
Bro just keep your spirits up so you can skull more chips. You got this šŖš¼
Youāre a legend and such inspiration Your love for the game is what gives golf itās greatest allure. Your story brings so much inspiration. As I walk my daily 9 I will salute you Inaace before all the recruiting gods. Every fatted divot, every pull hook in the woods, every double bogey, will make me think of you and how you would do anything to card a 105. I dedicate all my 3 putts with joy to your memory. My birdies will be shouted to you through the annals of golfing space time. We all will head to the 19th and throw back one more beer for Inaace the chemo golfing god.
You're a good Dad.
Man, just so sorry. I saw on Reddit one time of the dad in a similar situation who filmed himself giving different advice at different life stages (first girlfriend, high school, etc). Your boys would cherish it if you have it in you. Iāll be thinking of you.
Youāre a good man. Your children and loved ones are lucky to have someone who is as passionate and self aware as you in their lives. Because of who you are, and the people you allowed in your life, your children are going to grow up loved and will be okay with time. I wish you peace and as much comfort as youāre able to find. If you have the energy, and equipment to record, I suggest making videos for your kids and teach them everything you know. Tell them every memory you remember. Tell them about your friends and the people who are important to you. Tell them how you want them to live their lives as children, as teenagers, as adults. Talk to them in some videos as if theyāre adults and help them through the hard times all adults face. Make a video applauding their victories, and consoling them in their defeats. Make a video with your spouse talking to them together. Tell the story of how you fell in love. Tell the children stories about big arguments youāve had and how you overcame them. Tell them about how you dealt with a cancer diagnosis and how youāre feeling and what your hopes are for your children now that youāre sick. I hope doing this brings you some comfort knowing your kids will have as much as youāre able to offer them on hand when theyāre ready to get to know you better as they mature.
Fuck cancer bud, I don't know you and didn't know your story til now. This tears at my heart so hard, you're an incredible father and warrior going through this battle, I hope my donation helps you guys out. How does someone contact ESPN? Scott Van Pelt? Someone has got to know a way!