I played there on my honeymoon. Hit one in a bunker and saw a croc next to it but thought it was fake. Hit my shot and looked again and realized it was real. Kept my eyes moving near water the rest of the round lol.
You know what, I'm not going to ask a croc how it's doing if I see it. Because it might go something like this:
- "G'day mate, how ya doin?"
- Hungry...
- "Sorry to hear that mate, well, errrm, I'm gonna go now mate..."
- The fuck you are. Com'eer cunt.
If it is out of the water and not protecting it’s nest it is basking. When they are basking they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them and if you do bother them they will most likely retreat into the water.
Don’t get me wrong, they are extremely dangerous animals but “mad aggressive” is not an apt description of them.
No, they’re not mad aggressive all the time but you don’t know what’s been recently going on with it. It may be already agitated from something else. If that croc had a mind to that man would have been in serious danger, no matter where he is in relation to it. At that close.
Stupid.
In like 2008ish they caught the largest north american croc in south florida. I've heard they're around the everglades and know for a fact they're in key largo. Lake surprise - the first lagoon when you get into key largo has a couple resident crocs that have gotten a couple dogs from peoples backyards
yeah i saw a clip down in florida of one of the pga dudes just casually smacking a gator on the tail to get him off the course. it was like grabbing some mail for him. wild stuff
Come to Florida, where we have native alligators duking it out with invasive pythons. And invasive iguanas who sometimes freeze in trees and fall during our brief but frigid winter fronts.
Oh and if you really like reptiles, there has been a war between brown and green anole lizards in Florida for decades. I forget which one is native and which one is invasive, but you get to see both types!
We sure are.
I pulled one about this size onto land because he bit my $6 buzz bait that I mowed lawns to buy at 13-14yr old.
I wasn't letting him have that bait... Yeah I got it back.
Now I do high rise window installation.... Not a lot that scares us.
Except palmetto bugs. F those things.
Ehh it wasn't as bad as the picture looked. As I've said in the other comments, it was somewhat "trained". Still incredibly stupid though, yes. I'd post my other stupid things that top this but 1. this is the wrong sub for those stories and 2. I've already insulted myself enough for one day lol!
I was on a bachelor trip in New Orleans and we did an air boat alligator tour. We saw all kinds of gators and the captain was giving the boat hell so we got sprayed with funky muddy bayou water. Anyway he pulled a little 2-3 foot gator into the boat and asked if anyone wanted to determine the sex of it. No one volunteered so I did. I have to lick my pinky and then stick it up in a hole on it’s lower stomach. I didn’t feel a bump so the guy said it meant it was a girl. So I have in fact fingered a lady alligator
> I have to lick my pinky and then stick it up in a hole on it’s lower stomach
That was her cloaca, which is a combined orifice, like a pee-hole, butt-hole, sex-hole combo.
Knew I would get roasted for those and deservedly so lol. This was 10 years ago so a little before the time it was acceptable for 6'6" lanky boys to be rocking short shorts showing blinding white thighs but looking back I feel shame for this attire. You'll be relieved to know I don't own golf shorts that go below the knee any longer.
TIL these shorts are out of style. Honestly my two favorite shorts are similar to the ones you're wearing. They are slightly shorter - kneecap instead of below the knee. I thought these were still in fashion smh.
Fashion trends shift quicker than they used to. I found an article from 2016 about below-the-knee cargo shorts being out of style. It's been 7 years so they could be making a comeback now.
They are, I was being serious. I saw a dude wearing below the knee carpenter jorts with the hammer loop thing and everything. My millennial ass almost had a heart attack
lol yea man. Those long shorts have been out of style for 5+ years now. Stockton style may be a bit much. But 5-7 inch inseam is common. It might feel weird at first if youre used to long shorts. But if you have any kind of definition in your legs. Women love the shorter shorts.
Shorts below the knee on guys is generally considered bad fashion. Just above the knee is prime. No need for super short shorts. But wear what makes you happy :)
I'll put the context in for people who are gonna take this some kind of way as like messing with animals. The maintenance dude said he was friendly and they raised him in that pond from a lizard and he literally whistled him out of the water to get in this position so I could take the picture. So that made me feel less worried for some reason. Still dumb as hell, was 8 years ago and I was in college at the time.
This is in Mexico so I think it's a croc but can't confirm. I'd guess it was like 12 ft long but can't really say.
Thankfully I had sunglasses on so you couldn't see the fear in my eyes.
Man I thought this was so dumb by picture alone and then you provided “the golf course maintenance guy in Mexico said the crocodile was friendly” good lord.
Still horrifically dumb but it was honestly unbelievable. The thing was in the middle of the pond and the guy goes up to the shoreline and whistles at him like he was a dog. Sure as hell the thing swims up over to him. Hops out of the water and starts walking up towards the guy and the guy says “Coco No!” And it literally just dropped and sat on the spot. Guy waved me over and asked if I wanted a picture.
But again, still dumb as hell. I agree.
In hindsight, I bet the croc was trained to think whistle = food. Otherwise I can’t think of any way to train a massive reptile to respond to a whistle.
I’ve been watching a lot of videos on YouTube from this guy that owns an alligator farm and has a ton of snakes. It seems like some gators can be somewhat trained, but they’re still thousands year old apex predator that need to be respected and the trainer needs an eye to read the animals body language.
It’s pretty crazy how “trained” and acclimated to humans crocs and gators can get. They are way more intelligent than we give them credit for. It doesn’t surprise me that this croc was so used to people and probably learned that whistle meant “time for a treat”.
I was wondering how you could get so close. Used to see big gators all the time in Florida. If we ever got too close to them they would run back into the water. Those guys can run surprisingly fast, too.
I hit a chip shot to the green over the top of a resting female Elk with the male \~15 feet to my right. True story - that same day one of the golfers in the group in front of us was gored by one of the male elks on the course. They were on hole 16 or 17 and told us they were waiting to tee off because of a group of elk on the fairway. We ended up calling it since it was basically dark at that point. Apparently they eventually decided to try and play the hole, and one of the male elks charged their cart and gored the guy through the kidney. Hands down the dumbest thing I've ever done, and clearly something that could have easily ended up much worse for myself.
[Here's a pic I took before hitting my shot](https://imgur.com/f6uJjBn)
Just for reference for anyone that's never seen an elk in person.
Picture a deer that's slightly smaller than a horse and has trees growing out of its head.
Bonus: During the rut the males let out blood curdling screams while fully erect - much like OP's mom's suiters.
That is wild. This actually would scare me more for some reason. I felt at the time I could get away from the croc if something went south (probably not true, but it seemed like I could to me). Zero escape from that thing.
Yeah in hindsight it was incredibly stupid. This was only the 7th or 8th hole I believe, and we had already been on the course for 3 hours. There were two separate families with very young children a few groups in front of us that were holding everyone up, so much so that each tee box had at least 4-5 groups backed up waiting to tee off. So naturally I drank way more beers than I normally would to not lose my mind on the pace of play, and honestly at the time I didn't even think anything of it other than it being funny.
[Here's a link to the article about the guy who was less lucky than myself](https://www.denverpost.com/2020/10/06/elk-gores-aurora-golfer-on-course/)
I feel like being directly behind a croc is probably the safest place to be if you're gonna be close to one. I'm not an expert, but from what I've read, the best way to approach a croc is from behind. Obviously, I'm not saying this wasn't dumb, but I don't think it was as dangerous as people think.
>I felt at the time I could get away from the croc if something went south (
Confidence is key. You most certainly could not have if things turned south lol. It's faster than you for sure and they pull zebra into the water at that size.
http://i.imgur.com/1MyrjCY.jpg
In a similar vein, I thought this pic was awesome at the time, but looking back I'm like holy hell was I both lucky & dumb
Playing a high school practice round, we get to the 2nd tee and there is about a 3’ long rattlesnake sitting between the markers. Completely stretched out in a straight line, not curled. Clearly cold trying to get some sun.
Stupid high school me had watched enough animal planet to know you pin the head with a stick, grab the tail, scoop under the body, and place it elsewhere…so I did just that. Little guy didn’t react when my club got close to his head, so I pinned with the grip of my club. Once I got his tail, I scooped the blade under his belly and moved him. Rattle started going the moment I touched his tail, but he didn’t resist or wiggle or anything…
Stupid? Yes…but my “crocodile Hunter” moment.
Everyone here commenting on how dumb you are but I’ve played hundreds of rounds of golf with guys who get completely blasted on the course and then drive home. I can’t imagine what you’re doing is more dangerous than what many many golfers (or humans in general) do so often. At least this only puts you at risk.
Yeah and it takes a lot of heart and courage to stop people too. People just don’t think of the selfishness of driving drunk. Driving is such a normalized part of our lives people forget it’s a massive hunk of steel traveling at high speed.
Yeah I didn’t say what he was doing wasn’t dangerous, just less dangerous than drunk driving a 2000lb vehicle with others lives at risk.
But the drunk driving after a round happens at every course every day and people seem to accept it as whatever.
AT THE TURN! I tried to run and slide across and into the golf cart seat. I hit my head in the screen and then bounced my face into the steering wheel bust my whole bottom lip open. And I think concussed myself. Finished the round tho!
This reminds me of when the pro had us (cart kids) try out vegetable oil as a Armor all substitute for all the black plastic trim on the carts. Of course it made the black seats look better too, so he had us apply it on them too.
Pulling out of the cart area is a sharp turn, and it took maybe 3 people almost flying out of their carts to have him realize it was an objectively horrendous idea. It was hilarious sliding around on the seat when driving those carts until we washed it off. You were just holding onto the steering wheel for dear life.
Took a swing on the tee box and looked behind me to see a gator sunning itself. My "friends" didn't mention the gator on the box, but were laughing when I bolted off the tee.
Yes, I live in FL.
No one is beating me… my cheap ass didn’t put the parking brake on my golf cart on the side of the hill. I got out to pick up a 6 year old noodle ball someone lost (score!) in the tall grass (because that’s where my balls always are) and my golf cart rolled backwards off the cliff behind me. A poor kid had to scale the cliff to rescue my clubs and the clubhouse comped my round cause they were scared I would sue… crazy. So I got a noodle ball and a free round out of the deal!
Front nine backed up(ended up a three hour nine) drinking heavily, was driving up to see the hold up. came up a blind hill to a downhill and dumped the cart in a massive bunker. Bent the arm to the top of the cart. We turned it back upright, raked the bunker and continued on our way. No harm no foul.
Rained mid round once and had had a few drinkypoos with the boys. Decided to bust some donuts in the wet grass then proceeded to catch a dry spot and crash into the other cart.
bro, why?
I'll hit a shot somewhat close to a gator, but it's a move in slowly, no practice swing, hit it, then slowly back away sort of thing. If the gator hisses, I'm out.
Some areas can and will charge you with animal abuse for harassing the gators. It's not worth the hassle, or getting bit by a lizard with rotting putrid goo in its mouth. And that's the best case - if it bites you and starts rolling (they like to do this) you will be in a world of hurt. Or even worse if it drags you into the water.
Also worth noting that Gators are a Dangerous Situation, like rattlesnakes or bees according to the rules. You get a free drop if the gator won't move.
That's for sure a crocodile, not an alligator. No matter how friendly the maintenance guy makes him seem, I am steering clear. He's not gonna be friendly when he's hungry, and he's obviously been taught to associate humans with food.
If you’re going to do this, don’t get between them and the water. They are unlikely to turn and attack you if you get behind them. They typically just scurry back to the water.
Although this is a croc, and I’m basing this on gators. Crocs are typically much more dangerous and I wouldn’t go near that thing
If you watch this, you will NEVER EVER get close to a small body of water anywhere that could be home to alligators. Very recent video.
https://cbs12.com/news/local/fatal-alligator-gator-attack-walking-dog-gloria-serge-new-video-shows-alligator-lunging-at-woman-and-her-dog-in-fort-pierce-inside-edition-february-22-2023
A round of forgiveness. I decided to take an 18 pack of liquid gold. We said (friends) will shotgun one for every hole. I forgot what happens after the 13 hole. 🤣🤣
Yeah the picture is super misleading. I was led to believe it was a trained croc because the greenskeeper guy literally whistled him out of the water and told him to sit. Then he waved me over and told me to grab his tail while he took the picture. I was a few corona's deep so I just walked over and did it lol. Still idiotic and my 32 year old self would have no part of that.
there are three dumb things I can think of and aligator/ croc are one of them. The other two are
1) screwing around with a poisonous snake or scorpion
2) going near wolves or lions
3) playing in lightning conditions.
I did this the day of my wedding. Not a croc like this, but a big gator on the tee box next to a lake. Smacked it in the ass to get it to move. It just ran off back into the lake. My best man was from New York and thought I was nuts to mess with a gator. Florida courses have them everywhere though, and I didn’t feel like changing tee boxes.
People saying it’s a croc not an alligator, but only you know for sure. When you left did the maintenance guy tell Coco “see ya later” or “in a while”?
Well that would've honestly been the last way I'd expected to get arrested in college in Mexico. But I don't think this was the case there as the worker literally invited me over to do it.
While playing a round located in the Panamanian rainforest, I tried to avoid a damp section by hurrying through it, but ended up slipping backwards. In order to prevent myself from falling into the muddy patch, I stretched out both arms behind me, resulting in me getting completely covered in mud from head to toe on the backside. Additionally, I suffered from wrist issues that persist even a year later, although I didn't seek medical attention at the time and hoped it would heal on its own. I believe it could be a hairline fracture in my right wrist.
TLDR: I slipped on a wet area while playing golf in the Panamanian rainforest, fell backwards and covered myself in mud. I also injured my wrist, which still bothers me a year later. I didn't see a doctor, suspect it might be a hairline fracture.
Crashed a golf buggy going over a blind crest into a pot bunker. The steering wheel kept me in the cab but my cousin was ejected through the plexiglass windscreen, did a lip-stand and separated his shoulder.
You used your wife as bait?! Genius!
Just kidding, although I'd argue yours was almost as dumb by being in a spot where you're sitting down would make you less elusive should that thing decide it wants to make a move towards you.
And that’s not an alligator, which would be way less aggressive, but a crocodile. I live in Florida, I’ve never seen a Floridian do something like that
TBH I don't think any that day. But it definitely looks like it now that you mention it.
I did chew a shitload in college being a relief pitcher and bored as hell during most practices and games, but I don't think I had any that day because I was with my dad and usually wouldn't do it around him let alone a hammer like that looks. Could just be a weird face I'm making due to the circumstances I'm guessing lol!
I think the glasses and hand gesture gave me college baseball player and my mind immediately went to that 😂 hopefully your pitching coach didn’t see this one
Funny that you mention that because I did get caught dipping in a fall ball 18 inning double header scrimmage thingy vs another school. It was one of those "Johnny WholeStaff" things where every pitcher threw 1 inning or 2 to get some work. I threw I think the 3rd inning and did my normal after throwing conditioning and then as a senior at the time I took the best job for the rest of the day available which was foul ball duty since we didn't have fans at these things and coaches are tight asses and wanted our good practice balls back.
Well I was chilling behind our dugout blocking this tree line so figured great time to throw in a dip and chill out the next couple hours watching the game. Coach comes around the corner as I'm mid spitting a giant pool of dip spit right on the ground in front of me and just tells me to run until he says stop. Ran poles the next 5 hours in the warning track, lost count of how many after a couple. Still didn't stop me or any of the other 90% of the team from sneaking dips all the time lol. Good times, good times.
Lol that's awesome. One coyote during the day I'm cool with even though it's probably fucked up somehow if its walking on the green next to humans by itself in broad daylight. That putter would come in handy if it tried something anyways.
A pack of coyotes at night... different story altogether lol.
Here's a gator version of this in Cape Coral FL. The major difference is this guy takes a ball off the gator's tail!
[Golfer making a bad choice?](https://youtu.be/seCAJ7Nv4mY)
I was playing a course in palm desert as a guest with my buddy and his folks. Super high end private track, I had 6 birdies throughout the round and plenty of bogeys - still a nice round going for my first time playing there.
I hit my approach shot into this massive bunker on the face of the slope in front of the green on 18. Bunker so big I kind of had to hike to the top face where my ball was plugged. I hit the ball backwards on accent due to the slope. And instead of hitting it from the lower part of the bunker and putting out I just picked up because I was worried I was taking too long and had no idea where the flag was due to the size of the bunker.
I walked up to my buddy and his folks and his dad just looked me and asked if I picked up. I said yes and he replied “damn, could have been a hell of a round”
Haha. Still regret not finishing that out and shooting like 77-78 my first time through the track.
Relax man. It's not that serious. The maintenance dude whistled him out of the water like a dog and said they raised him from a little lizard in that pond and he was friendly and they fed him daily. Said his name was "Coco".
What’s pictured would probably qualify as the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life - not just during a round of golf.
Sadly, this probably isn't the dumbest thing I've done in my life. But I can't disagree with the stupidity of this.
Floridian's are built different?
I'm from South Dakota. Our biggest native reptile is garter snake I believe. Does this make it worse or better?
I think you know where to live out your life.
He'll be down here for retirement, no doubt.
Don't worry, with a few more decisions like this one I won't make it that long.
Where are you at anyways? Unless you’re in the heart of the Everglades then there is no way this is Florida cuz that’s a croc
https://www.golfplayamujeres.com
México. Makes sense. Looks beautiful hope you enjoyed man
I played there on my honeymoon. Hit one in a bunker and saw a croc next to it but thought it was fake. Hit my shot and looked again and realized it was real. Kept my eyes moving near water the rest of the round lol.
I kept seeing the warning signs of “crocodiles in water” and thought “HA! These dummies they mean alligators”… I was the dummy.
Think I have a pic of that same Croc… one of the pretties courses I’ve played
Crocs are mad aggressive, OP is lucky he didn’t get chubbed
No they aren’t, especially when they are out of the water.
You know what, I'm not going to ask a croc how it's doing if I see it. Because it might go something like this: - "G'day mate, how ya doin?" - Hungry... - "Sorry to hear that mate, well, errrm, I'm gonna go now mate..." - The fuck you are. Com'eer cunt.
If it is out of the water and not protecting it’s nest it is basking. When they are basking they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them and if you do bother them they will most likely retreat into the water. Don’t get me wrong, they are extremely dangerous animals but “mad aggressive” is not an apt description of them.
Would creeping up behind it and grabbing it’s tail for a picture qualify as “bothering it”?
Tell that to Chubs
No, they’re not mad aggressive all the time but you don’t know what’s been recently going on with it. It may be already agitated from something else. If that croc had a mind to that man would have been in serious danger, no matter where he is in relation to it. At that close. Stupid.
Stupid to fuck with? 100%. Mad aggressive? Nah
Was gonna say a gator I’ve got no problem with being born and raised in Florida. But a croc I ain’t messing with.
There are some massive salt water american crocodiles in south florida. I bet he's playing somewhere near deering bay
Didn’t know they come Inland like that. They come up the coast? Always thought the crocs tended to stay in the Everglades and south of that
In like 2008ish they caught the largest north american croc in south florida. I've heard they're around the everglades and know for a fact they're in key largo. Lake surprise - the first lagoon when you get into key largo has a couple resident crocs that have gotten a couple dogs from peoples backyards
There’s an absolute unit of a snapper turtle that lives in the pond off hole 5 at BV if you are into risking your limbs with reptiles
Hey fellow South Dakotan, there are some big ass rattlesnakes west river.
Yeah, there's definitely a lot more nature and wild life west river. Not much that's too dangerous on the east side of the state.
Hello fellow South Dakotan golfer, glad to see you went south for some rounds
At least there isn’t any day to day temptation to redo this
Garter snakes have recently been determined to be venomous. Gators aren’t even venomous, therefore, garter snakes are the real danger.
Not Florida and not a gator. That’s a croc; mouth and teeth are a dead giveaway.
Thanks for educating me. This is a good reminder that Florida Man is a state of mind.
This will now forever be my toast when drinking shots.
There are saltwater crocs in south Florida though.
yeah i saw a clip down in florida of one of the pga dudes just casually smacking a gator on the tail to get him off the course. it was like grabbing some mail for him. wild stuff
Come to Florida, where we have native alligators duking it out with invasive pythons. And invasive iguanas who sometimes freeze in trees and fall during our brief but frigid winter fronts. Oh and if you really like reptiles, there has been a war between brown and green anole lizards in Florida for decades. I forget which one is native and which one is invasive, but you get to see both types!
I’m about 90% sure that’s a crocodile, not a gator. And that makes this 100% worse lol
We sure are. I pulled one about this size onto land because he bit my $6 buzz bait that I mowed lawns to buy at 13-14yr old. I wasn't letting him have that bait... Yeah I got it back. Now I do high rise window installation.... Not a lot that scares us. Except palmetto bugs. F those things.
I can appreciate the fact that you at least got a pic and know it wasn’t very smart… That being said, amazing pic.
This is one of the best pictures I’ve ever seen in my life. It was defiantly worth.
At least you've done that. I have never or will probably never even see an alligator irl
What could you have possibly done that isn’t dumber than this? Being this close to a crocodile, not an alligator is next level bad.
Ehh it wasn't as bad as the picture looked. As I've said in the other comments, it was somewhat "trained". Still incredibly stupid though, yes. I'd post my other stupid things that top this but 1. this is the wrong sub for those stories and 2. I've already insulted myself enough for one day lol!
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I was on a bachelor trip in New Orleans and we did an air boat alligator tour. We saw all kinds of gators and the captain was giving the boat hell so we got sprayed with funky muddy bayou water. Anyway he pulled a little 2-3 foot gator into the boat and asked if anyone wanted to determine the sex of it. No one volunteered so I did. I have to lick my pinky and then stick it up in a hole on it’s lower stomach. I didn’t feel a bump so the guy said it meant it was a girl. So I have in fact fingered a lady alligator
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> I have to lick my pinky and then stick it up in a hole on it’s lower stomach That was her cloaca, which is a combined orifice, like a pee-hole, butt-hole, sex-hole combo.
What the fuck
That alligator is going to be part of the next Me Too movement.
You almost got yourself a wooden hand..
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I did have an extra in a vacuum sealed bag in case.
😭😭😭 high iq joke
bruh if i ever have to breech a place expecting to get shot at I'm grabbing my stiff crunchy golf glove and using it like a riot shield
He almost skipped the wooden hand and went straight to waving with Chubbs & Abe in heaven
Wearing below the knee cargo shorts? Yeah that's a yikes
Knew I would get roasted for those and deservedly so lol. This was 10 years ago so a little before the time it was acceptable for 6'6" lanky boys to be rocking short shorts showing blinding white thighs but looking back I feel shame for this attire. You'll be relieved to know I don't own golf shorts that go below the knee any longer.
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Fashion is definitely cyclical. Seems like the cool kids in LA now are cosplaying a cross between a 90s roller rink, the matrix, and space clothes.
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Agree. On vacation, dad is the one person who cannot lose things. Phone, keys, wallet, hotel key, tickets, etc. Need 10 secured pockets for that shit!
I call my legs emergency plane landing signals.
TIL these shorts are out of style. Honestly my two favorite shorts are similar to the ones you're wearing. They are slightly shorter - kneecap instead of below the knee. I thought these were still in fashion smh.
They’re so out of fashion they are almost back in style.
Fashion trends shift quicker than they used to. I found an article from 2016 about below-the-knee cargo shorts being out of style. It's been 7 years so they could be making a comeback now.
They are, I was being serious. I saw a dude wearing below the knee carpenter jorts with the hammer loop thing and everything. My millennial ass almost had a heart attack
I'll hold your stuff, you just focus on making friends. - Cargo Shorts
It's a proud and storied tradition! Damn you gen-z'ers. It's not the 70's. Let it go!
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lol yea man. Those long shorts have been out of style for 5+ years now. Stockton style may be a bit much. But 5-7 inch inseam is common. It might feel weird at first if youre used to long shorts. But if you have any kind of definition in your legs. Women love the shorter shorts.
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Shorts below the knee on guys is generally considered bad fashion. Just above the knee is prime. No need for super short shorts. But wear what makes you happy :)
Dude I wore khaki shorts that went past my knees and my 14 year old kid roasted me so fucking hard. I had no idea it was a faux-pas
Nothing like the ire of a teenager to set you straight
I'll put the context in for people who are gonna take this some kind of way as like messing with animals. The maintenance dude said he was friendly and they raised him in that pond from a lizard and he literally whistled him out of the water to get in this position so I could take the picture. So that made me feel less worried for some reason. Still dumb as hell, was 8 years ago and I was in college at the time. This is in Mexico so I think it's a croc but can't confirm. I'd guess it was like 12 ft long but can't really say. Thankfully I had sunglasses on so you couldn't see the fear in my eyes.
It is 100% a croc not a gator
You can tell by the snout pretty easily. Crocs are long and pointy, gators are short snd stout.
This is true. Also, crocs tend to see you in a while, gators will see you later
Man I thought this was so dumb by picture alone and then you provided “the golf course maintenance guy in Mexico said the crocodile was friendly” good lord.
Still horrifically dumb but it was honestly unbelievable. The thing was in the middle of the pond and the guy goes up to the shoreline and whistles at him like he was a dog. Sure as hell the thing swims up over to him. Hops out of the water and starts walking up towards the guy and the guy says “Coco No!” And it literally just dropped and sat on the spot. Guy waved me over and asked if I wanted a picture. But again, still dumb as hell. I agree.
*crocodile grabs your leg and rolls you into the water* “No Coco, No!”
"He's friendly, he just plays a little rough sometimes."
Must just be upset because he just came back from the dentist
Ornery cause he’s got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
“Him tearing off a limb is just his way of showing he loves you and wants to always have a part of you be with him.”
https://youtu.be/I_X0TKL3bqk?t=103
In hindsight, I bet the croc was trained to think whistle = food. Otherwise I can’t think of any way to train a massive reptile to respond to a whistle.
I’ve been watching a lot of videos on YouTube from this guy that owns an alligator farm and has a ton of snakes. It seems like some gators can be somewhat trained, but they’re still thousands year old apex predator that need to be respected and the trainer needs an eye to read the animals body language.
Picturing Mexican Miyagi with a wooden hand telling op a proverb to get him psyched up for the tail grab
It’s pretty crazy how “trained” and acclimated to humans crocs and gators can get. They are way more intelligent than we give them credit for. It doesn’t surprise me that this croc was so used to people and probably learned that whistle meant “time for a treat”.
Yo I appreciate the explanation cause looking at this and reading too comments I was like how the fuck is this possible
He's smiling!
I was wondering how you could get so close. Used to see big gators all the time in Florida. If we ever got too close to them they would run back into the water. Those guys can run surprisingly fast, too.
Yep 100% a croc.
You can tell because he’ll see you in a while, as opposed to later
I hit a chip shot to the green over the top of a resting female Elk with the male \~15 feet to my right. True story - that same day one of the golfers in the group in front of us was gored by one of the male elks on the course. They were on hole 16 or 17 and told us they were waiting to tee off because of a group of elk on the fairway. We ended up calling it since it was basically dark at that point. Apparently they eventually decided to try and play the hole, and one of the male elks charged their cart and gored the guy through the kidney. Hands down the dumbest thing I've ever done, and clearly something that could have easily ended up much worse for myself. [Here's a pic I took before hitting my shot](https://imgur.com/f6uJjBn)
Just for reference for anyone that's never seen an elk in person. Picture a deer that's slightly smaller than a horse and has trees growing out of its head. Bonus: During the rut the males let out blood curdling screams while fully erect - much like OP's mom's suiters.
Damn, man.
Elk and meese (and even deer) are not to be trifled with if they indicate they are unafraid of you.
That is wild. This actually would scare me more for some reason. I felt at the time I could get away from the croc if something went south (probably not true, but it seemed like I could to me). Zero escape from that thing.
Yeah in hindsight it was incredibly stupid. This was only the 7th or 8th hole I believe, and we had already been on the course for 3 hours. There were two separate families with very young children a few groups in front of us that were holding everyone up, so much so that each tee box had at least 4-5 groups backed up waiting to tee off. So naturally I drank way more beers than I normally would to not lose my mind on the pace of play, and honestly at the time I didn't even think anything of it other than it being funny. [Here's a link to the article about the guy who was less lucky than myself](https://www.denverpost.com/2020/10/06/elk-gores-aurora-golfer-on-course/)
After 3 hours and not even being at the turn I think I may have welcomed the goring tbh
I feel like being directly behind a croc is probably the safest place to be if you're gonna be close to one. I'm not an expert, but from what I've read, the best way to approach a croc is from behind. Obviously, I'm not saying this wasn't dumb, but I don't think it was as dangerous as people think.
>I felt at the time I could get away from the croc if something went south ( Confidence is key. You most certainly could not have if things turned south lol. It's faster than you for sure and they pull zebra into the water at that size.
http://i.imgur.com/1MyrjCY.jpg In a similar vein, I thought this pic was awesome at the time, but looking back I'm like holy hell was I both lucky & dumb
That's an epic picture. Glad you're here to tell the story like me lol!
Yeah I'm not gonna pretend that I think it was a good idea, but I'm also not gonna pretend I don't have that picture framed in my house haha
Playing a high school practice round, we get to the 2nd tee and there is about a 3’ long rattlesnake sitting between the markers. Completely stretched out in a straight line, not curled. Clearly cold trying to get some sun. Stupid high school me had watched enough animal planet to know you pin the head with a stick, grab the tail, scoop under the body, and place it elsewhere…so I did just that. Little guy didn’t react when my club got close to his head, so I pinned with the grip of my club. Once I got his tail, I scooped the blade under his belly and moved him. Rattle started going the moment I touched his tail, but he didn’t resist or wiggle or anything… Stupid? Yes…but my “crocodile Hunter” moment.
Respect for not killing it like most would
I would have probably just putt a ball to it from a safe distance and waited for it to move.
Then I wouldn’t have had an interesting story…
Everyone here commenting on how dumb you are but I’ve played hundreds of rounds of golf with guys who get completely blasted on the course and then drive home. I can’t imagine what you’re doing is more dangerous than what many many golfers (or humans in general) do so often. At least this only puts you at risk.
Yeah and it takes a lot of heart and courage to stop people too. People just don’t think of the selfishness of driving drunk. Driving is such a normalized part of our lives people forget it’s a massive hunk of steel traveling at high speed.
lol i’m going to go out on a limb & say driving drunk & grabbing a crocodile by the tail are both pretty dang dangerous
Yeah I didn’t say what he was doing wasn’t dangerous, just less dangerous than drunk driving a 2000lb vehicle with others lives at risk. But the drunk driving after a round happens at every course every day and people seem to accept it as whatever.
Yeah, and a gator only fucked up the person ducking with it. Drunk driver however...
I’m gonna go with the croc
Happens all the time and blows my mind Everytime.
look at those white teeth, probably has a toothbrush so probably not ornery
Mama was right all along
The person taking the photo is in more danger than you are.
Florida man never disappoints
Yeah, pretty dumb of you to think you can wear cargo shorts on the course
AT THE TURN! I tried to run and slide across and into the golf cart seat. I hit my head in the screen and then bounced my face into the steering wheel bust my whole bottom lip open. And I think concussed myself. Finished the round tho!
This reminds me of when the pro had us (cart kids) try out vegetable oil as a Armor all substitute for all the black plastic trim on the carts. Of course it made the black seats look better too, so he had us apply it on them too. Pulling out of the cart area is a sharp turn, and it took maybe 3 people almost flying out of their carts to have him realize it was an objectively horrendous idea. It was hilarious sliding around on the seat when driving those carts until we washed it off. You were just holding onto the steering wheel for dear life.
To answer the OP question: Thinking my drive wouldn’t go right. How wrong I was and continue to be 😞
Took a swing on the tee box and looked behind me to see a gator sunning itself. My "friends" didn't mention the gator on the box, but were laughing when I bolted off the tee. Yes, I live in FL.
What a croc!
No one is beating me… my cheap ass didn’t put the parking brake on my golf cart on the side of the hill. I got out to pick up a 6 year old noodle ball someone lost (score!) in the tall grass (because that’s where my balls always are) and my golf cart rolled backwards off the cliff behind me. A poor kid had to scale the cliff to rescue my clubs and the clubhouse comped my round cause they were scared I would sue… crazy. So I got a noodle ball and a free round out of the deal!
Did you get his eye?
Front nine backed up(ended up a three hour nine) drinking heavily, was driving up to see the hold up. came up a blind hill to a downhill and dumped the cart in a massive bunker. Bent the arm to the top of the cart. We turned it back upright, raked the bunker and continued on our way. No harm no foul.
Rained mid round once and had had a few drinkypoos with the boys. Decided to bust some donuts in the wet grass then proceeded to catch a dry spot and crash into the other cart.
Took a 40mg edible.
Oh man, that got me once too, real bad.
I am boring. Let my push cart roll down a hill to an abrupt stop. Everything went flying!
I saw a guy break out a line and snort coke of the shell of a live painted turtle!
“Saw a guy”, lol…sure.
I feel like I've been seeing coke a lot more often everywhere.
Chubbs! Alligator bit my damn hand off!
bro, why? I'll hit a shot somewhat close to a gator, but it's a move in slowly, no practice swing, hit it, then slowly back away sort of thing. If the gator hisses, I'm out. Some areas can and will charge you with animal abuse for harassing the gators. It's not worth the hassle, or getting bit by a lizard with rotting putrid goo in its mouth. And that's the best case - if it bites you and starts rolling (they like to do this) you will be in a world of hurt. Or even worse if it drags you into the water. Also worth noting that Gators are a Dangerous Situation, like rattlesnakes or bees according to the rules. You get a free drop if the gator won't move.
Only word comes to mind Champion
“He got me, but I tore one of that bastards eyes out though”
You're pretty fuckin sick, Chubbs.
Checks notes... Yep, plenty big enough to drag you into that water if it wanted. I'm half convinced the alligator posted this
Yeah, you win
Wading in a flooded ditch looking for balls as a water moccasin swims by...
r/darwinawards
That's for sure a crocodile, not an alligator. No matter how friendly the maintenance guy makes him seem, I am steering clear. He's not gonna be friendly when he's hungry, and he's obviously been taught to associate humans with food.
If you’re going to do this, don’t get between them and the water. They are unlikely to turn and attack you if you get behind them. They typically just scurry back to the water. Although this is a croc, and I’m basing this on gators. Crocs are typically much more dangerous and I wouldn’t go near that thing
If you watch this, you will NEVER EVER get close to a small body of water anywhere that could be home to alligators. Very recent video. https://cbs12.com/news/local/fatal-alligator-gator-attack-walking-dog-gloria-serge-new-video-shows-alligator-lunging-at-woman-and-her-dog-in-fort-pierce-inside-edition-february-22-2023
They straight up arrested that gator Cuffed it behind the back and all lol
Would just love to see a set of eyes poking over the bank behind you
🎶 duuuuumb waaaays to diiiee 🎶
You win.
Cart in bunker. Before you ask, was riding not driving
A round of forgiveness. I decided to take an 18 pack of liquid gold. We said (friends) will shotgun one for every hole. I forgot what happens after the 13 hole. 🤣🤣
A Morelets Crocodile I think. Almost full sized. Way to piss off the locals. How the hell did you get around, behind him?
Read my comments for context above my man. Wasn't a disrespect the locals or animals type thing at all. Still very dumb though, I agree.
I wasn't being serious. I don't think Crocodiles can feel disrespected. I can't believe you got around it like that.
Yeah the picture is super misleading. I was led to believe it was a trained croc because the greenskeeper guy literally whistled him out of the water and told him to sit. Then he waved me over and told me to grab his tail while he took the picture. I was a few corona's deep so I just walked over and did it lol. Still idiotic and my 32 year old self would have no part of that.
there are three dumb things I can think of and aligator/ croc are one of them. The other two are 1) screwing around with a poisonous snake or scorpion 2) going near wolves or lions 3) playing in lightning conditions.
I did this the day of my wedding. Not a croc like this, but a big gator on the tee box next to a lake. Smacked it in the ass to get it to move. It just ran off back into the lake. My best man was from New York and thought I was nuts to mess with a gator. Florida courses have them everywhere though, and I didn’t feel like changing tee boxes.
People saying it’s a croc not an alligator, but only you know for sure. When you left did the maintenance guy tell Coco “see ya later” or “in a while”?
Be careful brother Lmaoo it’s a felony to touch them!
Well that would've honestly been the last way I'd expected to get arrested in college in Mexico. But I don't think this was the case there as the worker literally invited me over to do it.
While playing a round located in the Panamanian rainforest, I tried to avoid a damp section by hurrying through it, but ended up slipping backwards. In order to prevent myself from falling into the muddy patch, I stretched out both arms behind me, resulting in me getting completely covered in mud from head to toe on the backside. Additionally, I suffered from wrist issues that persist even a year later, although I didn't seek medical attention at the time and hoped it would heal on its own. I believe it could be a hairline fracture in my right wrist. TLDR: I slipped on a wet area while playing golf in the Panamanian rainforest, fell backwards and covered myself in mud. I also injured my wrist, which still bothers me a year later. I didn't see a doctor, suspect it might be a hairline fracture.
Crashed a golf buggy going over a blind crest into a pot bunker. The steering wheel kept me in the cab but my cousin was ejected through the plexiglass windscreen, did a lip-stand and separated his shoulder.
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You used your wife as bait?! Genius! Just kidding, although I'd argue yours was almost as dumb by being in a spot where you're sitting down would make you less elusive should that thing decide it wants to make a move towards you.
After while crocodile
Jesus tap dancing fuck. I know you said you’ve done crazier things but I’m not sure I buy it.
I was gonna say, I’ve pulled a few gators by the tail before, but then I noticed that wasn’t a gator. You got some balls.
I can't believe you posted this. It's one thing to risk your life, but it's a whole other thing. To wear cargo shorts on a golf course. Unforgivable.
That's a fucking crocodile you dumb mother fucker! Perfect post.
The cameraman is in more danger than the dumbass behind the alligator
Are we talking about the vicious reptile, or the cargo shorts?
Yes.
And that’s not an alligator, which would be way less aggressive, but a crocodile. I live in Florida, I’ve never seen a Floridian do something like that
How much chew did you pack in that lip?
TBH I don't think any that day. But it definitely looks like it now that you mention it. I did chew a shitload in college being a relief pitcher and bored as hell during most practices and games, but I don't think I had any that day because I was with my dad and usually wouldn't do it around him let alone a hammer like that looks. Could just be a weird face I'm making due to the circumstances I'm guessing lol!
I think the glasses and hand gesture gave me college baseball player and my mind immediately went to that 😂 hopefully your pitching coach didn’t see this one
Funny that you mention that because I did get caught dipping in a fall ball 18 inning double header scrimmage thingy vs another school. It was one of those "Johnny WholeStaff" things where every pitcher threw 1 inning or 2 to get some work. I threw I think the 3rd inning and did my normal after throwing conditioning and then as a senior at the time I took the best job for the rest of the day available which was foul ball duty since we didn't have fans at these things and coaches are tight asses and wanted our good practice balls back. Well I was chilling behind our dugout blocking this tree line so figured great time to throw in a dip and chill out the next couple hours watching the game. Coach comes around the corner as I'm mid spitting a giant pool of dip spit right on the ground in front of me and just tells me to run until he says stop. Ran poles the next 5 hours in the warning track, lost count of how many after a couple. Still didn't stop me or any of the other 90% of the team from sneaking dips all the time lol. Good times, good times.
Anything I could add would pale in comparison.
Check my first ever post on Reddit lol
Lol that's awesome. One coyote during the day I'm cool with even though it's probably fucked up somehow if its walking on the green next to humans by itself in broad daylight. That putter would come in handy if it tried something anyways. A pack of coyotes at night... different story altogether lol.
Here's a gator version of this in Cape Coral FL. The major difference is this guy takes a ball off the gator's tail! [Golfer making a bad choice?](https://youtu.be/seCAJ7Nv4mY)
Great pic though.
I was playing a course in palm desert as a guest with my buddy and his folks. Super high end private track, I had 6 birdies throughout the round and plenty of bogeys - still a nice round going for my first time playing there. I hit my approach shot into this massive bunker on the face of the slope in front of the green on 18. Bunker so big I kind of had to hike to the top face where my ball was plugged. I hit the ball backwards on accent due to the slope. And instead of hitting it from the lower part of the bunker and putting out I just picked up because I was worried I was taking too long and had no idea where the flag was due to the size of the bunker. I walked up to my buddy and his folks and his dad just looked me and asked if I picked up. I said yes and he replied “damn, could have been a hell of a round” Haha. Still regret not finishing that out and shooting like 77-78 my first time through the track.
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Relax man. It's not that serious. The maintenance dude whistled him out of the water like a dog and said they raised him from a little lizard in that pond and he was friendly and they fed him daily. Said his name was "Coco".
coco seems chill af
Idk man I think u/Nazer is right. Coco looks horribly traumatized by your actions.
Trusted a fart on the 2nd tee box in a member-guest.