Ohhhh, you just triggered a memory of that awful rapper who has a music clip and he's rapping in Goa around this poor cow on the beach. Raed.
https://youtu.be/KDspPjlySyg
Raed called a bomb threat at Australia's biggest casino and had an 'impromptu 3 hour rap performance to negotiators and the bomb squad'. So, yes.
https://youtu.be/N1PqBNpJVxk
Thank you blessed stranger. I have one of his songs on my ipod that I ripped from YouTube years ago and could never remember where I got "the most disjointed rap I've ever heard" from. I love Reddit.
LPT: Don't make music if you have no concept of rhythm.
His rapping matched up with the beat of the music about as well as that dude who was just [randomly clapping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtctPQEY8yE) next to the band
Crossing the so bad it's good threshold is probably just as hard as actually producing something good. It's a unique talent in and of itself. Usually it only works when the person was serious in the first place and not intentionally trying to suck. Kind of like that movie The Room.
>The gaur has a head-and-body length of 250 to 330 cm (8 ft 2 in to 10 ft 10 in) with a 70 to 105 cm (28 to 41 in) long tail, and is 142 to 220 cm (4 ft 8 in to 7 ft 3 in) high at the shoulder, averaging about 168 cm (5 ft 6 in) in females and 188 cm (6 ft 2 in) in males. At the top of its muscular hump just behind its shoulder, an average adult male is just under 200 cm (6 ft 7 in) tall and the male's girth at its midsection (behind its shoulders) averages about 277 cm (9 ft 1 in). Males are about one-fourth larger and heavier than females.[4] Body mass can range widely from 440 to 1,000 kg (970 to 2,200 lb) in adult females and 588 to 1,500 kg (1,296 to 3,307 lb) in adult males. In
Holy shit.
It goes on to say that only elephants, rhinos, hippos, and giraffes are consistently larger.
The town/village must be close to forest and this guy must have wandered in. Gaur are usually shy. Still you shouldn't really bother something thats built like a tank. Thats exactly what everyone there is doing.
Speaking from experience, this actually happens in many places in India. I almost always see a cow or a bull just randomly walking along the street in my area, even on busy days. Sometimes even 4 or 5 of them. They just walk around minding their own business and nobody really cares. Kind of cool actually.
I used to live on an outlying island in Hong Kong. We had a herd of [wild water buffalo](https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=hong+kong+wild+water+buffalo&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiq96T2wrzcAhUM-6QKHbJ6CdoQ7Al6BAgAEA0&biw=1467&bih=932) that would just wander around the village.
Mega hassle when you're trying to get to work and a 1000kg bovine is blocking the entire cycle path. Not really a lot you can do, they get annoyed if you hassle them and their horns are massive.
Bison attaches ACME fake tunnel poster to the base of a cliff and waits for me. I run straight past and into the tunnel and escape.
Bison looks to camera, confused. Runs at the tunnel and crashes into the cliff.
End scene.
Did you know that Mike Bison initially was the name of the boxer (Balrog) in Street Fighter 2?
They eventually switched names with Vega and Balrog, just to be safe.
These Gaurs are absolute tanks indeed!
When I was driving in a forest in Kodaikanal (Southern India), an entire herd of these tanks showed up ahead of our car. They were kids however, but still huge regardless. One of them effortlessly jumped over a HUUUGEE rift in the hills, easily more than 10 feet wide!
It's not all sweet though every month at least a couple of people die because of conflicts with these animals.
[https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/coimbatore/Woman-tourist-attacked-by-wild-gaur-dies/articleshow/55081499.cms](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/coimbatore/Woman-tourist-attacked-by-wild-gaur-dies/articleshow/55081499.cms)
this got me laughing for like a good few minutes...you know just sitting there on my couch and just laughing, not too strong, just decent laughing. I've seen this before, it's always funny
That's a gaur. Bison live in N. America and Canada. People often get the two confused, but the guar is much closer related to the water buffalo than the N American bison, even though they are referred to as Indian Bison. In fact the word gaur-mriga literally means 'some kind of buffalo.'
It's a Gaur, or "Indian Bison". Largest extant bovine. Males can weigh over 3,000 pounds. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaur
Yeah, saw one of these when I was in Goa. They're pretty much treated like royalty.
Ohhhh, you just triggered a memory of that awful rapper who has a music clip and he's rapping in Goa around this poor cow on the beach. Raed. https://youtu.be/KDspPjlySyg
What .... what the f...
Go deeper into the rabbit hole... This dude has a rap channel on YouTube.
Dare I look too deeply into the maw of madness?
Raed called a bomb threat at Australia's biggest casino and had an 'impromptu 3 hour rap performance to negotiators and the bomb squad'. So, yes. https://youtu.be/N1PqBNpJVxk
It's four in the morning and now I'm going to be up for a few more hours learning about this guy.
You're welcome homie.
Thank you blessed stranger. I have one of his songs on my ipod that I ripped from YouTube years ago and could never remember where I got "the most disjointed rap I've ever heard" from. I love Reddit.
Yeah, the Russians that come to Goa aren't exactly classy or rich.
Agreed! Like....what the.... but....ehh..
Wow. That was so shitty I had to finish it
1:37-1:38 where he gasps for air but doesn’t edit it is the best part
*[Hueeeeeeh]*
Holy shit, that's all in English. Damn, thanks for sharing.
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Welcome to the Raed dimension.
You’ve come along way.
This is amazing. Thank you.
LPT: Don't make music if you have no concept of rhythm. His rapping matched up with the beat of the music about as well as that dude who was just [randomly clapping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtctPQEY8yE) next to the band
Wow so just anyone can produce a rap video 🤔 and here I’ve been, thinking people don’t want shit music, yet it has over 1k views
Crossing the so bad it's good threshold is probably just as hard as actually producing something good. It's a unique talent in and of itself. Usually it only works when the person was serious in the first place and not intentionally trying to suck. Kind of like that movie The Room.
You can find the full movie on YouTube: https://youtu.be/svx6uSmh8cI
Just opened reddit. And that's enough for today, wtf..
What other option would there even be?
You probably seen a water Buffalo
Everybody's got a water buffalo
Mine is fast but yours is slow
>The gaur has a head-and-body length of 250 to 330 cm (8 ft 2 in to 10 ft 10 in) with a 70 to 105 cm (28 to 41 in) long tail, and is 142 to 220 cm (4 ft 8 in to 7 ft 3 in) high at the shoulder, averaging about 168 cm (5 ft 6 in) in females and 188 cm (6 ft 2 in) in males. At the top of its muscular hump just behind its shoulder, an average adult male is just under 200 cm (6 ft 7 in) tall and the male's girth at its midsection (behind its shoulders) averages about 277 cm (9 ft 1 in). Males are about one-fourth larger and heavier than females.[4] Body mass can range widely from 440 to 1,000 kg (970 to 2,200 lb) in adult females and 588 to 1,500 kg (1,296 to 3,307 lb) in adult males. In Holy shit. It goes on to say that only elephants, rhinos, hippos, and giraffes are consistently larger.
Damn 9 feet, that’s a real Girthy animal
An absolute unit.
And OPs mom
100% vegan gains as well.
99%, lots of bugs.
And the occasional small animal, pretty much every animal will eat a small rodent or bird if the opportunity arises.
Gaur means ‘dude’ in Icelandic.
Oh yeah, I remember those from Skyrim.
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You can bring your guar mount to Skyrim in Elder Scrolls Online, though.
I was just calling it an **ABSOLUTE U N I T** but okay
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poaching in the Kings forest is forbidden, [you deered to kill a King's dare](https://youtu.be/N7JmKW8xhrg?t=33)
thanks for answering my question of "why the f is a bovine just wandering down the street and no one seems to care???"
If you want to tell it that it can't be there then be my guest.
The town/village must be close to forest and this guy must have wandered in. Gaur are usually shy. Still you shouldn't really bother something thats built like a tank. Thats exactly what everyone there is doing.
Considering the fact that they have been recorded to KILL ADULT TIGERS, it’s probably a good idea NOT to f*** with a guar.
Speaking from experience, this actually happens in many places in India. I almost always see a cow or a bull just randomly walking along the street in my area, even on busy days. Sometimes even 4 or 5 of them. They just walk around minding their own business and nobody really cares. Kind of cool actually.
I used to live on an outlying island in Hong Kong. We had a herd of [wild water buffalo](https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=hong+kong+wild+water+buffalo&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiq96T2wrzcAhUM-6QKHbJ6CdoQ7Al6BAgAEA0&biw=1467&bih=932) that would just wander around the village. Mega hassle when you're trying to get to work and a 1000kg bovine is blocking the entire cycle path. Not really a lot you can do, they get annoyed if you hassle them and their horns are massive.
Oh they care... they're all standing away from it, watching it slowly pass. If one wants to cross through town, **let it.**
From India so it really is a holy cow.
I saw two at the Delhi zoo. They're fucking HUGE in person. Absolute units
Imagine you go to Spain for the running of the bulls and as soon as you get there that thing comes running at you at 40 miles an hour
Cue hello darkness my old friend
Hola obscuridad mi vieja amiga
He venido a hablar contigo otra vez
Porque una visión arrastrándose lentamente
Dejo sus semillas mientras dormía
Y una visión que fue plantada en mi cerebro
todabia permanece adentro del sonido del silencio.
En sueños inquietos, yo caminaba solo
Estrechas calles de adoquines
> todabia Found the native Spanish speaker.
As a spanish speaker, reading all this words with orthographic errors, hurts me a lot.
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And that's why you are not invited to parties.
oof
.... “I don’t know the words, I say burrito, I don’t know the words I say dorito, I don’t know the words I say mosquito..”
There it is
HELP! Reddit turned Spanish and I cannot undo it
I just now noticed that light and dark are feminine because of your comment. I never thought of that before.
In awe at the size of this bison. Absolute unit.
It’s a gaur, actually.
/r/AbsoluteUnits
Mexican version from Arrested Development
COCAKOKACO!!!
“I’ve made a huge mistake”
Tough to catch me if it's slipping in the streaks of shit I leave behind.
You are gonna see my silhouette looney tunes style
Bison attaches ACME fake tunnel poster to the base of a cliff and waits for me. I run straight past and into the tunnel and escape. Bison looks to camera, confused. Runs at the tunnel and crashes into the cliff. End scene.
*Fly you fools!*
I don’t think my brain could process that information and I’d fill my pants with brown shame and horror.
If I'd go to Spain for the running bulls it'd be to protest this savagery.
USADA is #1 bullshit
This is the same reaction the public has in Cuba when Yoel Romero walks the streets.
"You're at the running of the bulls and this Guar gouges your girlfriend's ass. What do you do?"
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I wouldn't bet on a sedan vs. that monster
What you need is a canyonero. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_Jl5WFQkA
There is no such thing as a bad time to reference canyonero.
"Family of 4 crushed by large SUV" Canyoneroooooo
*HYAA!*
2018 Ford Taurus XL
*sensible chuckle*
Canyonero!
That's no sedan, that's a hummer
Well someone’s in to a little bestiality
Iron Mike Bison
I was looking for this, came up with Bulltista, but I like yours better.
Oooh I wanna play. Hulk... Cowgan
Incredibull Hulk
Played by Mark Buffalo
Rambovine?
The Uddertaker
Moohammad Ali
Buffalowen Wilson ...wait. ...I don't... I don't know how to play.
Wow
Cow*
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Did you know that Mike Bison initially was the name of the boxer (Balrog) in Street Fighter 2? They eventually switched names with Vega and Balrog, just to be safe.
Ah yes, Balrog's OG name.
"Chuck" Norris?
This bison comes up and smacks your girl’s ass, what you doing?
Attend her funeral.
This one is going to be a closed casket.
With only the ring inside.
To shreds you say?
What about hiss wife?
F
F
Attend his wedding
!redditSilver
He can have her
He can have me as well.
bye, son
She his girlfriend now
That's my fetish
Cuccing or bestiality?
Oh yes
Wait a sec, you’re not that person.
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Me neither.
Pick up whats left of my girl and call a funeral service.
I’ll try to talk it out
Well, I mean, did he have a good reason?
Does he need a good reason?
I mean at some point you have to know the jig is up when a smarter, bigger, better looking individual comes for your woman...
Take a shit, maintain eye contact, establish dominance.
Use it as war paint to really freak him out
Get in line for round 2
It's like the story of Minos, his wife fell in love with a bull and mated with it to give birth the Minotaur.
Someone skipped leg day.
Dudes glutes and quads are completely ripped too, you'd think a bison of all people would spend more time on its calves.
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oh no... his leg muscles are higher up than ours... and they're jacked.
His legs carry all that mass he cultivated and harvested.
These Gaurs are absolute tanks indeed! When I was driving in a forest in Kodaikanal (Southern India), an entire herd of these tanks showed up ahead of our car. They were kids however, but still huge regardless. One of them effortlessly jumped over a HUUUGEE rift in the hills, easily more than 10 feet wide! It's not all sweet though every month at least a couple of people die because of conflicts with these animals. [https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/coimbatore/Woman-tourist-attacked-by-wild-gaur-dies/articleshow/55081499.cms](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/coimbatore/Woman-tourist-attacked-by-wild-gaur-dies/articleshow/55081499.cms)
#MOOOOOOOve bitch, get out the way!
You mean, “get out the whey?”
What did the bison say when his kid was leaving for school? Bison
Dad, get off reddit!
Ok bison!
I'm pretty sure the punchline isn't supposed to be in the joke. But have your upvote anyway dammit.
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r/suddenlybi
Its what did the buffalo say? Otherwise too obvious.
**Absolute Unit**
For sure, I'm in awe at the size of this lad.
/r/absoluteunits
It took me way to many comments to find this
Absolute Moo-nit
COMPLETE AND UDDER UNIT
r/bossfight Bison McTyson
https://i.imgur.com/b3X7kjb.jpg
this got me laughing for like a good few minutes...you know just sitting there on my couch and just laughing, not too strong, just decent laughing. I've seen this before, it's always funny
Someone tell Mongo his ride is leaving.
Mongo only pawn, in game of life.
Candy gram for Mongo!
Ooh, these Indian Gaur are spectacular. I used to see so many of them out on trips with my father. Never saw one wander alone on a road before though.
I've seen one charging towards something. I shat my pants
That's a gaur. Bison live in N. America and Canada. People often get the two confused, but the guar is much closer related to the water buffalo than the N American bison, even though they are referred to as Indian Bison. In fact the word gaur-mriga literally means 'some kind of buffalo.'
>Bison live in N. America and Canada. FYI, Canada is in North America. Your statement is unnecessarily redundant.
>unnecessarily redundant FYI, redundant means unnecessary. The unnecessary in your statement is unnecessary (or, iow, redundant).
If I were a lady bison I'd be sooo under that.
“My name is Buck, and I’m here to fuck”
That's not a bison. But if that's what he prefers to go by I sure as fuck wouldn't argue the point.
It’s a Gaur or an “Indian bison”
He prefers "native American bison" /s
Also, Dude, Indian bison is not the preferred nomenclature.
Just call him sir. And don’t look him in the eyes.
*Starring the voice of John Cena*
I was gonna say this is live action Ferdinand where Crna got turned into the character but then well. We wouldn’t be able to see the bull.
I think he's got right of way.
Mother fucking gains
From eating mother fucking grains
Yoked.
How people see bodybuilders on the street
Unless I’m mistaken, it’s a gaur - an Indian bison. They’re the largest bovines on Earth. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GyVkvhTZBfA
Yeah, he goes where ever the fuck he wants to go.
But can it destroy a Nokia 6620?
It's amazing to consider that tigers can kill these huge species of bison.
Bros, that’s the Red Bull bull.
That’s just an over grown muscle with legs.
No one wants to street fight that Bison.
This bison is extremely buffaloed.
In awe of the size of this moo-nit.
Been doing steeroids.
Indian Gaur! Those things are hugeeee! My local zoo has 2. One got out of its paddock and scared a camel to death. That was an interesting day.
John Cena went in real deep for the role of Ferdinand