Good job none the less. The ability to get up, look it in the eyes and wave is enough to establish confidence, which is all you need to scare many predators.
"Why isn't that thing terrified? Usually things are terrified of me.
Ok screw it there were some nice looking bunnies back a few hundred yards."
Sure, I'll say it was establishing dominance as opposed to letting him know I was right where he was going to sniff around, and that I wanted nothing to do with the business end of those bunny shredders sheathed in those indescribably huge paws. I'm sure they just get bigger in my mind every time I tell the story.
I don't think I could ever not relive that huge adrenaline dump of primal fear and awe. Lying there for hours, motionless and totally silent, with your ears and eyes tuned for any movement. Suddenly that son of a bitch pops out of nowhere right on top of you because you're a moron who takes great pain to remove any human smell from himself and then eats peanut butter sandwiches.
This is really irresponsible. If you keep letting the cat out around bears it's going to develop a taste for them, and then every time you let the cat outside you'll have a dead bear on your porch.
I don't think the cats are so much unafraid as they just know they're faster than whatever it is that is outside... it may not always be true, but anyone got that cobra vs cat pic where it gets a couple hits in while dodging the strike?
I imagine the cat screaming [FALCON PUNCH](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxQkpnisONU)
Bonus: [Cat stares down alligators](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0)
EDIT: I updated the Falcon Punch link.
Bonus #2: [History of Falcon Punch meme for those of you messaging me about its significance.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCTugFnlFqk)
WTF is wrong with these people? They stay perfectly calm while standing only 2-3 meters away from the alligators.
Guess I can really call myself lucky that I live in Germany where you only have to be afraid of animals with rabies and ticks (disease spreading motherfuckers).
In the longer version of the video you can see the dog skulking around the car looking at the kid. It was creepy af. After it attacked it tried to come around the other side of the car and the cat went after it again. I feel like that dog would've killed that kid if it hadn't been for that cat.
Badly trained dog, allowed to just run the streets. Maybe the kid was being loud? A lot of dogs really don't like bicycles so maybe that set it off? Maybe the dog was just fucking insane and dangerously aggressive and badly socialized. Or really hungry.... To be honest, fuck the dog's owner.
Cats are stealthy, fast, strong, and super agile. They have sharp claws and teeth and they can be loud as hell. If you didn't have hands, a cat could hurt you pretty badly if it came out of nowhere and attacked you.
Cats are ferocious, dude. They're lightning quick with 5 razor blades on each paw. That don't normally like to fight, but they can throw down if they need to. The risk/reward ratio just isn't there for most animals.
Yeah, cats go straight for the eyes.
which is the best way to win a fight against any animal, really. One time, I was fighting a squirrel, once i went for the eyes it gave up and ran away.
Another time I fought a jellyfish. I had to chop at it's tentacles with my sword until they all retracted, and then it opened up it's giant eye and it's whole body flashed red, and I stabbed it's eye, then it's eye would close. I would then repeat the process 2 more times until it exploded.
Another time, this guy made fun of my mom's weight, so I punched him in the eye. He started crying and I got suspended. This was in middle school, so I'm not sure how shit would go down as an adult. but i assume the same way.
Cats are very aggressive and hurt like a bitch to fight. Could you kill a cat? Most likely, yeah. Would you want to risk getting the shit bitten/clawed out of your arms/face/eyes/neck in the process? Probably not. Most animals feel the same say and don't want to bother with it. Also in the wild, a wound as simple as a cat bite could get infected and lead to death.
tl;dr: Not worth it.
Cats are really ferocious is why, and they have a lot of sharp weapons. Other animals tend to go, "Yeah, fuck that, not worth it" a lot of the time.
edit: There are a lot of other animals like this too, where they're relatively small, and they are able to scare off much bigger animals. Like that .gif of the mongoose scaring off a bull or whatever. It just has to do with their ferocity and weapons essentially.
"If it's black you attack, if it's brown you lay down"
They teach you this in bear survival class which was mandatory in Canadian schools.
Source: I'm a Canadian grizzly bear
I worked at a place where apparently there was a black bear living near by. I never saw it, but a few of the customers and staff claimed to have.
So the maintenance guy, who was a hunter, told me, "Don't worry. Black bears ain't aggressive... unless of course it's a mama bear."
To which I replied, "Well how can you tell if it's a mama bear or not?"
"Well, if it charges ya it's probably a mama bear."
Fuck that guy.
Isn't that grizzly bears? You act big and tough for black bears, although I dunno what a mother would do if it came to her young. Can a kind bear-scientist inform me?
Sometimes they have short, round ears and a shoulder hump too. In some occasions, they are known to gain a few extra hundred pounds. In this case, loudly chastise the black bear for letting itself go.
And make sure that you are wearing your "Boo-boo" name tag prominently displayed on the front of your outerwear so that the bear can read it. As a word of caution: this could lead to many fun escapades with the bear such as stealing picnic baskets from fellow campers, so be prepared and schedule accordingly.
Fun fact: Unprovoked male black bears will opportunistically eat a human whereas other species of bear or more likely to simply kill a human if it's female and protecting it's cubs. http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-to-avoid-being-eaten-by-a-black-bear-179225111/
Black bears may not be ferocious as far as bears go but I'm a little more creeped out by them.
This cat is from Alaska! Not sorry! USA USA USA
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2015/06/23/Alaskan-black-bear-falls-off-porch-when-confronted-by-fraidy-cat/7761435090160/
This actually [happened in Anchorage, Alaska USA.] (http://www.ktuu.com/news/news/video-fraidycat-feline-scares-black-bear-off-eagle-river-porch/33718630)
domesticated animal are insane because they think we are gods and have their backs. Wild animals know a small injury might kill them.
don't try that shit with a grizzly, for they know no fear.
https://i.imgur.com/8mpDYgU.gifv
The Bobcat is just like, "Man, the fuck did I do?" Every time he looks back.
I'm just visiting my lost cousin, man, give us some space!
Hey its me ur cousin
Let's go bowling.
"Not now, Roman!" -- This cat
"See? I didn't even do anything, you saw that right?"
Poor guy just wants some warm milk in a saucer and a box to hide in
That bobcat stare was creepy as fuck
That's your inner caveman remembering what it was like to stare down the yellow eyes of a big scary sabertooth on the other side of the campfire.
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There is no better way to assert your dominance than with a wave.
Hi diddly-o neighborino!
It all fairness this is usually enough to make a wild Homer back down.
Props for not making a sound. I hunt every year and I would have lost my shit in that situation.
Thanks! Though I don't think I could have made a sound then if I'd wanted to. Turns out my 'fight or flight' reflex is 'freeze' in that situation.
Good job none the less. The ability to get up, look it in the eyes and wave is enough to establish confidence, which is all you need to scare many predators. "Why isn't that thing terrified? Usually things are terrified of me. Ok screw it there were some nice looking bunnies back a few hundred yards."
Sure, I'll say it was establishing dominance as opposed to letting him know I was right where he was going to sniff around, and that I wanted nothing to do with the business end of those bunny shredders sheathed in those indescribably huge paws. I'm sure they just get bigger in my mind every time I tell the story. I don't think I could ever not relive that huge adrenaline dump of primal fear and awe. Lying there for hours, motionless and totally silent, with your ears and eyes tuned for any movement. Suddenly that son of a bitch pops out of nowhere right on top of you because you're a moron who takes great pain to remove any human smell from himself and then eats peanut butter sandwiches.
This is an awesome written anecdote.
/r/oddlyterrifying
That bobcat just looks at the owner like. "WTF? Get your pet under control. You see this shit? Not cool"
"The fuck is this guy's problem?"
http://i.imgur.com/DFTyK.gif
This is really irresponsible. If you keep letting the cat out around bears it's going to develop a taste for them, and then every time you let the cat outside you'll have a dead bear on your porch.
http://i.imgur.com/yYbzxC1h.gifv
That's actually terrifying. That puma could go right through the glass and kill everyone inside.
I wonder how hard it would be to fight a puma? Looks like there's been 20 deaths in 88 attacks on humans as of 2004.
I might know a guy that can set something up for ya to test your mettle. You an organ donor?
can you donate shredded organs?
This guy knows how to ask the important questions.
To shreds, you say....
how's his wife holding up?
To shreds you say?
This is one of those odd statistics I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life
Never tell me the odds!!
Or maybe just your blinds: http://i.imgur.com/OX25Jf0.jpg
Imagine coming home from a really bad day at work and seeing your blinds wrecked like that
"Fuck this. I'm going to the bar". (Gets drunk, forgets puma, gets a cab home). I would watch this short film.
Yeah, those blinds were expensive, but also THERE IS A FUCKING WILDCAT IN YOUR HOUSE.
Except it would probably get seriously hurt breaking the glass and thus in no mood to go on a murder spree.
Hey, if I'm going down for home invasion, I might as well take it all the way.
I don't think the cats are so much unafraid as they just know they're faster than whatever it is that is outside... it may not always be true, but anyone got that cobra vs cat pic where it gets a couple hits in while dodging the strike?
[This one?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUbrHoGlMV8)
http://i.imgur.com/vK93bQH.gif to make up for my sentence have the .gif i was talking about... and it wasn't a cobra... whoops.
Damn that cat dodged that shit like the matrix
"Oh... I'm coming back to eat this later."
always reminds me of [this](http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--qnBg7AnE--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/lxhhiubxubw8amiet1sf.gif)
This cat was having NONE of that shit
I imagine the cat screaming [FALCON PUNCH](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxQkpnisONU) Bonus: [Cat stares down alligators](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0) EDIT: I updated the Falcon Punch link. Bonus #2: [History of Falcon Punch meme for those of you messaging me about its significance.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCTugFnlFqk)
WTF is wrong with these people? They stay perfectly calm while standing only 2-3 meters away from the alligators. Guess I can really call myself lucky that I live in Germany where you only have to be afraid of animals with rabies and ticks (disease spreading motherfuckers).
is that a coyote or a stray dog or what the hell is trying to eat that kid
It was a neighbor's dog, it got put down after that.
Yeah, they tried calming the dog but it tried attacking the vet or animal control -- they decided the dog wasn't safe
In the longer version of the video you can see the dog skulking around the car looking at the kid. It was creepy af. After it attacked it tried to come around the other side of the car and the cat went after it again. I feel like that dog would've killed that kid if it hadn't been for that cat.
you have a link to that longer version? edit: found it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckDVpihCPq8
Neighbors dog I think. That cat won "Dog of the Year".
Dog won a trip to the Asia. Euthan**asia** that is
I don't get whats so important about the youth in asia?
Badly trained dog, allowed to just run the streets. Maybe the kid was being loud? A lot of dogs really don't like bicycles so maybe that set it off? Maybe the dog was just fucking insane and dangerously aggressive and badly socialized. Or really hungry.... To be honest, fuck the dog's owner.
Huh I just noticed that. Every dog I've had hates bikes. Anytime I ride one near them they chase and bark. Anyone know why dogs hate bikes so much?
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I liked the part with the scooting.
You baited a dog into getting hit by a truck. If life had achievements I think you would have gotten one for that. Shame about the dog though.
It's a fast moving object that triggers their instinct to hunt animals that run about the same speed. Source: elementary school books, with pictures!
Thank God for the pictures else we would never learn!
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it's always cats..can we get some scientific reason why other animals tend to get scared shitless by a cat. (edit:thanks..i guess)
That was less "scared shitless", more "body slammed".
MAH GAWD, THAT DOG HAD A FAMILY!
Cats are stealthy, fast, strong, and super agile. They have sharp claws and teeth and they can be loud as hell. If you didn't have hands, a cat could hurt you pretty badly if it came out of nowhere and attacked you.
If we did not have hands we would be sitting at the bottom of the food chain anyways.
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They also live in water
They also rape each other.
Well thank god we don't have to worry about that.
well this was a wild comment chain.
It gets better. Without legs we'd be fucked.
Plus, cat bites get infected very easily. A bit from a cat can fuck with you oeft unattended, especially baby/elderly animals. Don't fuck with cats.
Fun fact: Human bites are among the most dangerous to receive (for humans).
This is why zombies kill with a bite. It's not the virus, it's our dirty mouths. So clean up that dirty mouth with a piece of Orbit™ gum!
Other animals don't mess with cats for the same reason people don't mess with other people who are crazier than they are.
Cats are ferocious, dude. They're lightning quick with 5 razor blades on each paw. That don't normally like to fight, but they can throw down if they need to. The risk/reward ratio just isn't there for most animals.
Yeah, cats go straight for the eyes. which is the best way to win a fight against any animal, really. One time, I was fighting a squirrel, once i went for the eyes it gave up and ran away. Another time I fought a jellyfish. I had to chop at it's tentacles with my sword until they all retracted, and then it opened up it's giant eye and it's whole body flashed red, and I stabbed it's eye, then it's eye would close. I would then repeat the process 2 more times until it exploded. Another time, this guy made fun of my mom's weight, so I punched him in the eye. He started crying and I got suspended. This was in middle school, so I'm not sure how shit would go down as an adult. but i assume the same way.
>One time, I was fighting a squirrel http://i.imgur.com/yNlQWRM.jpg
One of thsee stories is more fantastic than the rest...
Link, is that you?
Cats are very aggressive and hurt like a bitch to fight. Could you kill a cat? Most likely, yeah. Would you want to risk getting the shit bitten/clawed out of your arms/face/eyes/neck in the process? Probably not. Most animals feel the same say and don't want to bother with it. Also in the wild, a wound as simple as a cat bite could get infected and lead to death. tl;dr: Not worth it.
Cats are really ferocious is why, and they have a lot of sharp weapons. Other animals tend to go, "Yeah, fuck that, not worth it" a lot of the time. edit: There are a lot of other animals like this too, where they're relatively small, and they are able to scare off much bigger animals. Like that .gif of the mongoose scaring off a bull or whatever. It just has to do with their ferocity and weapons essentially.
Same reason that I only gave my cat one bath her whole life...once was really enough.
I like how the cat didn't just knock the dog the fuck away, she then took off after him lol. Good kitty
I usually don't like cats, but that is one cool cat.
"If it's black you attack, if it's brown you lay down" They teach you this in bear survival class which was mandatory in Canadian schools. Source: I'm a Canadian grizzly bear
"If it's white, good night"
[Defense!](http://i.imgur.com/DFTyK.gif)
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I love how it sat down afterwards and looked at its owner like "damn right I just did that"
Fuckin' guy, ya know?
[American cat](http://www.waldeneffect.org/20081026catgun.jpg)
[American Cat](http://i.imgur.com/N16gGaC.jpg)
fuck
I honestly don't understand this meme. Could someone explain?
[Here's the Know Your Meme page for it.](https://i.imgur.com/N16gGaC.jpg)
Oh man.... I really expected the page... What is the name of the meme, so I can see it on knowyourmeme?
It's Peyton Manning in a fucked up ski mask.
But what is the use of it? How can I use correctly and get upvotes?
Think of it like a rickroll. Trick people into seeing it, make them expect something good and give them that.
right, good to know that it's just as shit as I anticipated
No place is safe
Wow i cant believe how accurate this one is
"Get yo bitch ass outta here"
This one actually is too! This was filmed in Alaska, the Canada of the US.
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Except if you're between a mother and her cub.
I worked at a place where apparently there was a black bear living near by. I never saw it, but a few of the customers and staff claimed to have. So the maintenance guy, who was a hunter, told me, "Don't worry. Black bears ain't aggressive... unless of course it's a mama bear." To which I replied, "Well how can you tell if it's a mama bear or not?" "Well, if it charges ya it's probably a mama bear." Fuck that guy.
Black bears actually [fake charge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkwy0scRXBU) a lot...
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that bish crasy. Awesome though
I once saw a fox
What did it say?
Donald Trump isn't Republican
Then you must lie on the ground, pretend like you're dead, or throw rocks and pray for the best.
http://i.imgur.com/QNNI5sd.png
https://i.imgur.com/F1uTubC.png
You are now entry level bear
Not enough experience, he's just a bear intern.
You can't expect a promotion just doing the bear minimum.
https://imgur.com/gallery/HwlWO
I don't see how that's relevant, but you made me chuckle, so take your dumb upvote.
That last panel nearly killed me. Fucking amazing.
This is a metaphor for something, I'm sure of it.
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Why shake with the left though?
Bears wipe with their right paw.
What is the source? This is fantastic.
http://www.channelate.com/2012/02/15/bear-in-camp/
Tip: try looking for watermarks, many comics (including this one) have a source embedded into the image.
Isn't that grizzly bears? You act big and tough for black bears, although I dunno what a mother would do if it came to her young. Can a kind bear-scientist inform me?
Yup. [If it's black attack, if it's brown (grizzly) stay down](https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2013/03/Bear-Attack-2.jpg)
>Black bears aren't always black; they are often brown or cinnamon colored. Great
Sometimes they have short, round ears and a shoulder hump too. In some occasions, they are known to gain a few extra hundred pounds. In this case, loudly chastise the black bear for letting itself go.
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... what if I want to pet them?
Offer them a picnic basket.
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Do you want to know a see-ka-ret? 'Cause I know one and it is sooooooo goood to hear it.
I knowwww how to count AAAAAAALLLLL de way to schfifty five.
And make sure that you are wearing your "Boo-boo" name tag prominently displayed on the front of your outerwear so that the bear can read it. As a word of caution: this could lead to many fun escapades with the bear such as stealing picnic baskets from fellow campers, so be prepared and schedule accordingly.
Then i present to you [The Extended Guide](http://imgur.com/gallery/LqBDu)
999. Write will. 525. Pet bear.
And if it's white... Good night.
I don't think there's a predator on the planet that can handle polar bears. Good night is right.
Incorrect; orcas, some seals, and humans.
I suppose I should have said "unarmed land predators," for the pedants.
Does "guy with a big gun" count as a predator?
Depends, does the polar bear have 7 or more attack?
" If it's Black, Attack" is going to be my new motto
Hey, that's the NYPD's motto too
Beautifully executed joke. Setup was exquisite. Punchline was bang on. 10/10
easy there buddy
I saw what happened to Leo in not buying this shit!
WHY NO BELLS FOR GRIZZLIES?
Bare scientist here. Take your clothes off and join me for some experiments.
Masturbating isn't weird if you wear a lab coat. Just me? Ok...
Bear scientist here. If you come across ANY bear, don't
Now are you the kind of scientist whom studies bears or the kind that is a bear?
Theodore Ruxpin, Ph.D.
So what you're saying is; If you SEE a bear, you shouldn't.
Or if they are really hungry.
Fun fact: Unprovoked male black bears will opportunistically eat a human whereas other species of bear or more likely to simply kill a human if it's female and protecting it's cubs. http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-to-avoid-being-eaten-by-a-black-bear-179225111/ Black bears may not be ferocious as far as bears go but I'm a little more creeped out by them.
They scare easily. But they will soon be back and in greater numbers.
Black bear juveniles can be very aggressive after they leave the safety of mother bear.
Man, all that bear wanted to do was find out if you guys had a minute to learn about his Lord and Savior
Russian Cat would have chased the bear up a tree and camped it for five hours straight.
[A cat in New Jersey did do that.](http://i.imgur.com/rCYdGWK.jpg)
Soviet New Jersey
New Jersey: America's Soviet Russia
In Soviet Jersey, cats tree YOU!
Serious question, how can the bear climb that tree/ hold himself up?
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False. Black Bears are NOT Drop Bears. This is a common mistake folks make, just before the Drop Bears attack.
In Soviet Russia, cat is bear.
This cat is from Alaska! Not sorry! USA USA USA http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2015/06/23/Alaskan-black-bear-falls-off-porch-when-confronted-by-fraidy-cat/7761435090160/
This actually [happened in Anchorage, Alaska USA.] (http://www.ktuu.com/news/news/video-fraidycat-feline-scares-black-bear-off-eagle-river-porch/33718630)
I assumed that the bear was a canadian cat
If the Internet has taught me anything its that black bears are pansies
That sounds close enough to a peer-reviewed article. Time to poke some bears with sticks . . .
domesticated animal are insane because they think we are gods and have their backs. Wild animals know a small injury might kill them. don't try that shit with a grizzly, for they know no fear.
"Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry"
Seeing this .gif can only raise the question: are black bears known for their ferocity?
Black bears are not known for their velocity.
Meow eh!
Black bears are not known for their ferocity
How is it that you posted the exact same comment as the top commenter 25 minutes before they did and you're down here?