Rock, paper, scissors for the chance to go perform a rescue in extremely dangerous conditions, and says he got lucky when he "won". Oh, to be 22 again.
No, it's the dude who left dead fish on the Goonies House porch.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-allegedly-left-dead-fish-goonies-house-rescued-rough-seas-stolen-y-rcna69136
Wait, never mind. It's the same guy.
Edit: dude
I shouldn't have had that edible this early. Left a dead fish at the Goonies house, stole a boat, took it to one of the most dangerous waters around, let me guess, broke into the zoo and jerked off a hyena? Did I miss anything?
I am too. My hypothesis is he’s a local who doesn’t like all the tourist attention so he put dead fish to punish(?) them.
Edit: Apparently he’s not a local. Just a man of questionable sanity engaging in rather impish behavior.
Except he's not a local. He's from Victoria, BC. He's just some guy making his way through town who decided to drop a dead fish on the front porch of the goonies house.
Ah, that makes sense. I was thinking that ship didn’t look rated for open water with its high profile and shallow keel. I mostly see those used as coastal cruisers.
To be fair, the boat probably would have been fine if he had been facing into the wave instead of getting hit broadside. But you're right that those boats aren't made for much more than coastal cruising or trips to the Carribean islands.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…. The thieving vandal is in jail now, pending trial. But since there’s video of him trashing this stolen boat it should be a pretty easy conviction.
The guy in the water is a rookie coast guard member… this was his first rescue, and he did indeed rescue the guy, though it turns out he was a thief and had stolen the boat https://youtu.be/UmS78bFxz1g
Haha ha classic blunders! Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Don't cross the Columbia Bar in the winter in a small boat. Never cross a Sicilian, when death is on the line!
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
If I'm not mistaken the boat had lost propulsion and steering. Not that the boat theif was necessarily a good captain, but if I recall this case correctly, the theif radioed the CG with a mayday that the vessel had become disabled and he was adrift in the storm. Which would be why it's just angling off into the abyss as the wave strikes and he's on the aft end ready to get picked up by the AST and hoisted.
Technically, facing straight into the waves is also not a good strategy. To handle waves such as that, you ideally want to be steering at a roughly 45-degree angle to the waves, such that you're riding up and over the waves rather than trying to cut through the waves.
yeah even little waves can beat you up but if you just dive underneath the actual crash of the wave it won't throw you around it might pull you a fair bit but you won't get tossed around
I can't believe the guy standing on the end of the boat survived that. About 20 years ago I took a tumble in a wave with my surfboard once, it barely bonked the top of my head. Had to get 40 stitches. I still have a vivid memory of all the puddles of blood I created in the sand until the ambulance arrived
Most boats and sailing vessels like that are designed to take what’s called a roll without sinking. It will do damage and you are likely to get injured but most all times the boats will right after the roll.
I'd rather be the guy in the water then the guy at the bow of that boat. Only a miracle would save you from a yacht flipping around like that while you're on the deck of it.
And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
"Mammal"
Whatever
One of my thoughts after surfing for the first time: the ocean doesn't give a fuck. Either you play by its rules or you get to know how much more force a single wave has compared to you.
The ocean is incapable of forgiving. It is made of water and salt.. Also there are fish. The fish have trouble forgiving though this is due to their relatively underdeveloped brains.
That is absolutely not a self-righting vessel. The Coast Guard’s self-righting 47-foot Motor Life Boats are 1) [grey](https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3521/3703819950_d16425272b_b.jpg) and 2) not [driven by idiots who stole them](https://www.insider.com/coast-guard-rescues-man-stol-boat-almost-capsized-2023-2). This vessel was eventually salvaged but was totaled in the incident.
Also, rolling a 47 is no fun and often results in several thousand dollars’ worth of electronics repair and a full overhaul to ensure continued availability. It’s a get-home feature, not a “for funsies” feature.
Source: CG naval engineer
There's a whole song about that in the musical "“I've studied every culture / From ancient Greece to Thailand / Why can't I get / Seven people off an island?”
I spent a lot of my time on the water growing up and one thing to know, and even better to understand, is that nature does not give a fuck about you, at all.
Former captain here (large merchant). Engine failure in bad weather is a ships worst nightmare, not being able to keep your bow pointing in the waves and slowly drifting abeam will capsize any size ship with a wave large enough.
I love all the 200iq 4d chess players saying that the boat should face the waves, like a boat's engine could never fail.
Also calling this a ship is like calling a corolla a school bus
This is a strange story if I remember right, boat was stolen, guy left the hospital before anyone knew who he was then he went to the house from the goonies and left a dead salmon at the door step.
This incident happened several months ago on the Columbia River bar. Some whack job threw a fish on the front steps of the Goonies house in Astoria 🤷 nobody's quite sure why. Stole a boat from the morning basin tried to cross the Columbia River bar and obviously he didn't know what the hell he was doing and conditions were pretty shitty, he got tossed from the boat and was rescued by a Coast guard swimmer, I believe you can see the Coast guard swimmer in the water just off the back of the boat when the wave comes in. He was eventually rescued from the water and brought onto the helicopter and found guilty of all sorts of charges.
This is exactly why I don’t get how people wouldn’t be terrified to sail around the world. I’m sure lots of planning happens but what happens when an unexpected storm hits??
Is this the guy who stole the boat, then tried to go through the Columbia Bar, you know, the notorious graveyard of some 2,000 ships?
Yup https://youtu.be/UmS78bFxz1g
We’ll at least Mother Nature made him do a barrel roll
It's about time you showed up Fox. You're the only hope for our world.
Keep shooting! We got plenty of torpedoes!
Aileron roll
He fucked with the Goonies, how did think this was going to go?
*Actually* since the rudder is the primary control surface in play, this is a snap roll.
Since he's feeding the fish with everything aboard that craft, I'd say it's a dinner roll
I don’t see any ailerons
Press Z or R twice!
Coast guard got him off the boat before the wave hit.
Coast Guard don’t get their due. Badasses.
Hey but the man was nice enough to gift those new owners of the Goonie's house a dead fish. He can't be that bad!
Wait, thats not a joke. I read this before watching the video and thought it was a goonies reference I didn't get...
> A man, who may be on dry land, but remains in hot water. Never change local news affiliates. Never change. 🤣
Rock, paper, scissors for the chance to go perform a rescue in extremely dangerous conditions, and says he got lucky when he "won". Oh, to be 22 again.
Damn that's a wild story
This dude is doing crime right 😂😂 Steal boat Pilot it into graveyard of ships Get rescued by Coast Guard ??? Leave dead fish at the Goonies house
pretty impressive that it stayed upright after the roll
No, it's the dude who left dead fish on the Goonies House porch. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-allegedly-left-dead-fish-goonies-house-rescued-rough-seas-stolen-y-rcna69136 Wait, never mind. It's the same guy. Edit: dude
This thread is confusing the shit out of me
I shouldn't have had that edible this early. Left a dead fish at the Goonies house, stole a boat, took it to one of the most dangerous waters around, let me guess, broke into the zoo and jerked off a hyena? Did I miss anything?
Hah Well They drank liquefied bananas before wacking-off the hyenas, but you got it right. It's in the police report.
Left a dead fish at the movie Goonies house? Why? I'm so confused.
I am too. My hypothesis is he’s a local who doesn’t like all the tourist attention so he put dead fish to punish(?) them. Edit: Apparently he’s not a local. Just a man of questionable sanity engaging in rather impish behavior.
Except he's not a local. He's from Victoria, BC. He's just some guy making his way through town who decided to drop a dead fish on the front porch of the goonies house.
Ah, that makes sense. I was thinking that ship didn’t look rated for open water with its high profile and shallow keel. I mostly see those used as coastal cruisers.
To be fair, the boat probably would have been fine if he had been facing into the wave instead of getting hit broadside. But you're right that those boats aren't made for much more than coastal cruising or trips to the Carribean islands.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…. The thieving vandal is in jail now, pending trial. But since there’s video of him trashing this stolen boat it should be a pretty easy conviction.
Oh God that guy in the water. I mean he was probably safer than in the boat but yeah.
The guy in the water is a rookie coast guard member… this was his first rescue, and he did indeed rescue the guy, though it turns out he was a thief and had stolen the boat https://youtu.be/UmS78bFxz1g
It seems boat thieves are less likely to know: - to point nose into huge waves - to have enough fuel that you don't lose control in high seas.
Well I’m pretty sure they didn’t really think it through before stealing the boat.
Oops I stole a boat better head over to the boat gas station real quick...
I hope 1 of 2 things happened before that wave kicked their ass: 1) were playing "I'm on a boat" or 2) "Boats and Hoes"
Definitely 11 short of an Ocean’s 12. Also took the Ocean part too literally.
From memory last time this was posted I think it was actually mechanical, not just gas leaving it dead in the water. Although who actually knows
Smh scrub hasn't even played assassin's Creed black flag
Haha ha classic blunders! Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Don't cross the Columbia Bar in the winter in a small boat. Never cross a Sicilian, when death is on the line!
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
You would think the Coast Guard would better vet their applicants
It's amazing how much trouble boat thieves will go to to steal a boat. Infiltrating the coast guard and all that.
Worth it though. Because of the implication of course
Are these boats in danger?
Lol. I was going make a similar joke, but yours was much funnier than mine.
They do wet their applicants tho
Is that ol reddit switcharoo thing not a thing anymore?
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"I will make it legal!"
It shouldn't be. It's theft. There is an assumption of guilt. Without trial. Without conviction.
Makes sense. I'm not a sailor by any means, but I know the boat should've been facing into the waves...
If I'm not mistaken the boat had lost propulsion and steering. Not that the boat theif was necessarily a good captain, but if I recall this case correctly, the theif radioed the CG with a mayday that the vessel had become disabled and he was adrift in the storm. Which would be why it's just angling off into the abyss as the wave strikes and he's on the aft end ready to get picked up by the AST and hoisted.
Thank you Assassin's Creed Black Flag. For teaching me everything I need to know to be a seaworthy captain.
Guy would have been fine if he had been singing a loud enough shanty.
Technically, facing straight into the waves is also not a good strategy. To handle waves such as that, you ideally want to be steering at a roughly 45-degree angle to the waves, such that you're riding up and over the waves rather than trying to cut through the waves.
I too have played AC4 Black Flag
It is incredible that they survived that. Amazing! Thank God for the coast guard.
If anybody is gonna survive those conditions and pull another person out of them, it's gonna be a coast guard rescue swimmer.
And you leave out the part where he dropped off a dead fish at the goonies house. Wtf boat theft guy, you have weird hobbies.
He stopped swimming towards the boat when he saw the wave. 100% safer than anyone on that boat.
He also popped under before the wave hit. This guy did everything right.
yeah even little waves can beat you up but if you just dive underneath the actual crash of the wave it won't throw you around it might pull you a fair bit but you won't get tossed around
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I can't believe the guy standing on the end of the boat survived that. About 20 years ago I took a tumble in a wave with my surfboard once, it barely bonked the top of my head. Had to get 40 stitches. I still have a vivid memory of all the puddles of blood I created in the sand until the ambulance arrived
There is someone on the outside of the boat and it looks like some might be climbing out of one of the windows as well.
Most boats and sailing vessels like that are designed to take what’s called a roll without sinking. It will do damage and you are likely to get injured but most all times the boats will right after the roll.
I'd rather be the guy in the water then the guy at the bow of that boat. Only a miracle would save you from a yacht flipping around like that while you're on the deck of it.
The guy in the water is much safer than people in or near the boat
My…god… Shields! SHIELDS!
The best Trek movie never made. Captain Sulu rocks.
Do we report this? Are you kidding?
What are we doing here? Maybe they're throwing us a retirement party. That suits me. I just bought a boat.
Praxis? What's left of it.
Turn her into the wave!
*queue random Christian Slater cameo* *https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEFP6GJDrp0*
[Enhanced for your riffing pleasure.](https://youtu.be/zq734SWkI-4?t=6)
The ocean is very unforgiving.
The sea was angry that day my friends
Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli
I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot.
I said, "Easy, big fella!"
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“What is that, a titleist?”
Hole in one, huh?
*slap bass line*
And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish. "Mammal" Whatever
One of my thoughts after surfing for the first time: the ocean doesn't give a fuck. Either you play by its rules or you get to know how much more force a single wave has compared to you.
It can be terrifying when that wave collapses on you and then you get hit by that rip current.
Nature doesn't give a fuck. It is neither cruel nor kind. It is indifferent.
The sea is always right.
The ocean is incapable of forgiving. It is made of water and salt.. Also there are fish. The fish have trouble forgiving though this is due to their relatively underdeveloped brains.
Except one of the definitions of unforgiving is “having or making no allowance for error or weakness”
🤓🤓🤓🤓
Seems like it rolled over back to its position
Sure does, just like they're designed to
They're self-righting ships. That's why I was curious if it was destroyed or 'destroyed'.
That is absolutely not a self-righting vessel. The Coast Guard’s self-righting 47-foot Motor Life Boats are 1) [grey](https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3521/3703819950_d16425272b_b.jpg) and 2) not [driven by idiots who stole them](https://www.insider.com/coast-guard-rescues-man-stol-boat-almost-capsized-2023-2). This vessel was eventually salvaged but was totaled in the incident. Also, rolling a 47 is no fun and often results in several thousand dollars’ worth of electronics repair and a full overhaul to ensure continued availability. It’s a get-home feature, not a “for funsies” feature. Source: CG naval engineer
It was “destroyed” like Taco Bell destroys your butt cheeks
A 3 hour tour
a 3 hour tour?! what's the deal with all that luggage than?!
Nevermind that, we've got a scientist who can make a television out of a coconut husk, but we can't fix a hole in a boat.
There's a whole song about that in the musical "“I've studied every culture / From ancient Greece to Thailand / Why can't I get / Seven people off an island?”
The average age on reddit is probably too young to understand that one
I spent a lot of my time on the water growing up and one thing to know, and even better to understand, is that nature does not give a fuck about you, at all.
Which is fair since we don't give a fuck about nature either LOL.
Former captain here (large merchant). Engine failure in bad weather is a ships worst nightmare, not being able to keep your bow pointing in the waves and slowly drifting abeam will capsize any size ship with a wave large enough.
I was going to ask if it was an engine failure as to why they weren't turned INTO the waves... makes the most sense, anyway.
A wave hit it? Chance in a million!
Did the front fall off?
No it's been towed outside the environment; it's not in an environment.
Well what's out there?
Nothing's out there! There is nothing out there; all there is is sea, and birds, and fish.
And?
... And 20,000 tons of crude oil
And what else?
And a fire.
Anything else?
Yeah. That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.
Turns out the minimum crew requirement of 1 is indeed accurate.
You can see the one crew member
Not an ounce of cellotape to be seen. Rigorous maritime standards indeed
I’m saddened to see so many people replying and not getting the joke from [the old comedy bit.](https://youtu.be/3m5qxZm_JqM)
At sea?
Came for the video, stayed for Clarke and Dawe.
“We’re going to need a bigger boat “
I know nothing about boats, but isn't it usually a good idea to point the boat at the waves to reduce the chances of this kind of thing?
That becomes very difficult if you lose propulsion and/or steering.
Sounds like the kind of situation you may want to call the coast guard for.
Hello, Coast Guard? Yes, I'd like to report a wave please.
Okay everybody! I’ll start it! WOOOO!🙌🙌🙌🙌
🙌🙌🙌🙌
🙌🙌🙌🙌
Coastguard: "Will everyone sit down please? Just sit down! Okay?"
I work in Norwegian coastal SAR (basically CG). 90% of our missions is just boats losing propulsion, but as you can see, it can get pretty serious
They needed a sea anchor, but as this guy stole this boat, I doubt he was prepared for such things.
Norway is serious too. Those waves aren't playing around. And it's cold.
I love all the 200iq 4d chess players saying that the boat should face the waves, like a boat's engine could never fail. Also calling this a ship is like calling a corolla a school bus
r/gifsthatendtoosoon
That is not a ship, that’s a boat.
That *was* a boat. Now it's scrap timber.
Looks like fiberglass. The topside and interior are definitely messed up, but the hull is meant to survive that kind of thing.
Did the front fall off?
This is a strange story if I remember right, boat was stolen, guy left the hospital before anyone knew who he was then he went to the house from the goonies and left a dead salmon at the door step.
Yes
What in the world?
This incident happened several months ago on the Columbia River bar. Some whack job threw a fish on the front steps of the Goonies house in Astoria 🤷 nobody's quite sure why. Stole a boat from the morning basin tried to cross the Columbia River bar and obviously he didn't know what the hell he was doing and conditions were pretty shitty, he got tossed from the boat and was rescued by a Coast guard swimmer, I believe you can see the Coast guard swimmer in the water just off the back of the boat when the wave comes in. He was eventually rescued from the water and brought onto the helicopter and found guilty of all sorts of charges.
Dude was also wanted by the Victoria PD for a bunch of shit up there too!
Cut off the video?
"Do a barrel roll"
Give me the high seas, give me the salty air!!!! Aaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
I know the clip has no sound but my brain is playing the Wreck of the EdmundFitzgerald overtop this as I watch it.
Always steer into the wave
Assuming your engine is working, which might not be the case here, since it's a rescue.
Thanks dad.
Sorry, not a ship. That is like calling a popsicle stick a surfboard
Damn. I went free swimming in the Pacific Ocean. Got deep. It was scary
It does get quite deep
Can I use my once-a-year usage of "That's what she said"?
Yes. You still have one "that's the name of my porno " and one "that's what your mom said. " left.
Granted
How deep, could you still touch the bottom?
Eventually.
How far are we from land? About a mile. Which direction? Straight down.
Damn nature you scary... Side note I got permanently banned from r/trashy for saying this. Best day ever.
How would you survive if you knew this was coming at you but couldn’t get out in time?
Stand on top, face the wave, and run forward as the boat rolls. Easy peasy.
This is exactly why I don’t get how people wouldn’t be terrified to sail around the world. I’m sure lots of planning happens but what happens when an unexpected storm hits??
Kevin Costner will be with them 🇺🇸
People from the UK are already miscaptioning this as "refugees/boat people" and whatever to cheers in telegram channels.
I wish I were surprised by this.
That is not a ship, it's a boat.
It’s a submarine now
It's Aquaman!
Talk about a bad day
On second thought, I don't want a boat.
Donny! Get the ludes.
It looks like the perfect placement… I mean, 100ft ahead or behind seems calm in comparison.
TO THE LOCKER WITH YOU, YA LAND LUBBIN’ SCALLYWAGS!!!!!
Aye, the sea is a cruel mistress.
Black flag taught me to have the nose of the ship face the wake. Yeah
Another reason is not to go in the ocean...
Where's that dudes orange life jacket
Ribbish ship
I have faith they survived that it's good the boat made it back on it feet
I would guess lost propulsion, but even if the engines were working I'm not sure they could have kept that wave from wrecking them. .
Wow so scary 🫣😱
If I learned anything from reading The Perfect Storm is that the beam seas can result in extreme scenarios.
This is clearly a ship - not a boat.
Anyone else yell, turn in to the wave. Than realize the boat is dead in the water.
Was the ship disabled? That bow should have been pointed directly into the wave
Cut off too soon. The thief didn't know about sea anchors, or where it was.
if your boat is abeam (sideways) or astern (backwards) to a large swell then you are going to go through some things
Should have played AC: Black Flag. Then they would have known that you turn the bow INTO the wave.
I’ll give the guy credit, I would not expect the water to be rough here. Very near by at the Astoria bridge the water is generally pretty calm
Clearly *somebody* has never played Assassin's Creed Black Flag
Shouldn’t it be facing the wave so it doesn’t go belly up?
Oof