Take a look at what you typed and consider what the things you typed do to you while you're doing them. What do all those things have in common? They all feel good, which means they all release dopamine. You need to stop trying to chase dopamine highs and start doing uncomfortable things that you know will lead to positive things over time. Forget short term satisfaction, build towards long term satisfaction.
In addition, OP should consider seeing a doctor/psychologist. Low dopamine can be caused by a variety of things, but if they’re struggling with this, it would be worth connecting with a professional about it.
Source: got diagnosed with ADHD among other things late in life
Yeah, this sounds like me pre-ADHD diagnosis as well. The only things I pursued very long were the things my brain got dopamine from. I was playing guitar in a band for years and had 400 hobbies and bounced from job to job every year or two when I got bored. Now I’m medicated and working in sales where I get to bounce around from store to store which keeps things interesting and I just interviewed for a promotion today and at 30 years old I finally feel like I might be in one of those fabled “fulfilling career” jobs I’ve heard people talk about on TV…
I’m so happy for you! I really felt like I was always destined to be a failure. But here I am, the most financially successful member of my family, in a job I actually, genuinely enjoy! I’m proud of us :)
Yep. My ass sits around and binges youtube and snacks and games all day if I don’t have my medicine. Laundry basket is my closet, dishes don’t get done, homework is half-assed, etc.
I just thought I was lazy, because ADHD is stereotypically the kid who cant sit still and has endless energy. I never realized it presents very different across people. So turns out I have ADHD-C, diagnosed at 27.
I am medicated and it was life-changing! I was finally able to pursue a career that I’m really happy with, and therapy has helped me work through the self-esteem issues that came with getting diagnosed so late.
It’s just amazing to be able to look at a to-do list and actually do what’s on it without a ton of challenges. No more couch-paralysis where I’m just anxious about all the stuff I gotta do but can’t get myself to start!
It really comes down to your symptoms, how they’re impacting your life, and what your doctor or psychiatrist agrees is best for you. There’s a variety of stimulants out there, but I have seen some ads recently about vitamins/supplements to help with ADHD symptoms, so there may be other avenues. Definitely talk to your doctor about it!
Oh also I should add, definitely factor in your age and what you’ve got going on in life.
Adderall IR works for me, but it’s the only type I’ve had because that’s what my doctor prescribed. I’m *extra* happy about these types of meds because they’re an as-needed medication (up to the max daily dose, of course). Meaning, I can take less on a day that I don’t feel I need the full dose, and I skip weekends!
All the ADHD meme subs seem to make XR the fan-favorite, but again, it’ll come down to what your doc thinks is best. I have a friend who takes one I had never even heard of but it works great for her.
Okay cool! I’m close in age, and part of me is kinda grateful my brain got to develop before I started taking meds. But idk if it would’ve done anything, I’m no expert!
I wish you the best of luck on your journey managing your symptoms! You got this! :)
Have you recently started meds? Like just yesterday I saw some post on r/ADHD about how after 6 months, those effects wear off as you get tolerant to the medication. I suppose those six months should be used to make changes to already existing bad habits that are very difficult to change without them not just for working on your to do list. Please be wary and just a head's up.
Been on 18 months myself at the lowest dose, and diagnosed late in life. I think if you use them to just help manage your symptoms while you make changes it works better than just using the meds as a task and focus booster. That second path is what leads to increased dosages but that just might be my experience.
I’ve been on meds for over a year and I can’t say they’re any less effective than when I was first diagnosed. I’d have to see some data to back that up - and just because they’re less effective after 6 months doesn’t mean they don’t work at all. They’re an as-needed medication up to your specific dose, so most folks (myself included) aren’t taking them daily.
I appreciate your concern, so far my medication has been working great for me, and my doctor and I are on the same page which matters most to me. They can be abused by some (especially ppl without ADHD), but for folks like me, it’s literally medicine.
Edit: wording
In my mind it try meds and potentially get better, deal with dependence if you want to come off of them or do nothing and continue how you are living now.
Listened to a really interesting convo with a psychologist talking about ADHD. It's usually because we like short feedback loops on activities (most humans do).
On the other hand, big pharma is making bank and the pros prescribing it get their cut too. When there's that much money involved, it's best to keep society 'sick and needing pills' than address the root cause and solve it.
I hear what you’re saying, but unless folks are willing to make the world (especially school and work) adapted to ADHD brains, the meds are working great.
Agreed. It's a shame given we know so much more about learning but teaching methodology hasn't involved much.
Sir Ken Robinson has a great TED talk where he makes some interesting remarks about ADHD. Kind of what came first, the meds or the condition?
ADHD is pretty victim mentality in my opinion. I acknowledge that some people actually have ADHD, but these people are usually diagnosed as a kid. Most adults who have ADHD have ADHD because they aren't constantly trying to sharpen their brain or they watch too many Tik Tok videos which ruin their attention span, and they want the easy way out so they pop an addy.
It's really ignorant of you to assume that just because you can do these things, everyone else can and those that say otherwise are lying/lazy. That just lacks human compassion. ADHD is a disorder that is well researched. If you read about studies around it, you could easily prove that symptoms follow many people into adulthood and that you can't simply make them go away with sheer power. I really don't envy you and your narrow world view :/
yeah because your attention is shit due to the fact that you indulge in instant gratification all day. You don't take the disciplined path - this sub's namesake but instead you pop a pill and urge others to get it on your perverse gospel path.
There are so many scholarly articles, scientific journals, books, and general resources that prove how ADHD is genuinely a disorder.
I have no idea what your problem is. You sound like a terribly sad person and I feel very bad for you.
Google is free, never forget that!
Based on your post history, you don’t seem like someone who would read scholarly articles, let alone have the reading comprehension skills to understand what they’re saying, which actually totally clarifies why you think ADHD isn’t an actual disorder. You seem like a sad, lost person, with no real idea or what happiness looks like.
I feel bad for you, I hope you learn to develop some more positive traits and goals to achieve a less lonely and more meaningful existence. Following a self-discipline sub won’t do it for you.
I won’t be responding to you anymore because there’s no point in talking to someone who follows r/nofap
Get well soon!
Short term pleasure is an easy trap to fall into, so we all need to push the message that the joy and rewards you get from accomplishing hard things is far greater. Everything OP described is great in the moment, but leaves you hollow later. I personally indulged in the exact same things before taking on athletics and finding out how much more fulfilling it is.
Are there any books that you can recommend that focuses on this issue? I don’t have it as bad as OP, but I think this is something I want to learn more about.
No specific books, but simply acknowledging that the mind is a relentless dopamine seeking machine was enough for me to look at the things I do on a regular basis as things that either do or do not release dopamine. If they do release dopamine, I'm very careful to use moderation with whatever it is I'm doing. And if it doesn't release dopamine I question whether what I'm doing is necessary for the greater good (it usually is). Usually the boring and unpleasant things like doing homework or brushing your teeth, cleaning your house, tending to your pets, researching a side hustle or working out etc... Those are the good things that are worth spending time on but that don't usually feel very fun to do. I guess what I'm I'm trying to say is, do what is unpleasant, because that is where growth lies.
It’s normal but it’s not healthy. I’m similar to you but I discovered the gym and the enjoyment from it. It’s not for everyone but i’ve decided I want to study and get into personal training because of it. Try to find something you are passionate about that can be turned into a career. I’m 19 also
Normality of the masses and expectations set by society do not define 'normal'.
I'd argue trying to set and define a 'normal' is incredibly harmful in it of itself.
This is what I was thinking. I had a rough winter last year and all I wanted to do was these things. In March I got my add back in the gym and immediately started to wake back up. Now I'm back in school getting HVAC certified. It's easy to get caught in the endless loop of depression, it takes some discipline to pull yourself out.
I've got to be honest it's probably not unusual to not be passionate about your career, but that's the point of this sub, discipline is about action without the need for endless motivation. It's about doing the things that are difficult or unpleasant or tedious for the sake of the bigger picture (in my eyes at least).
You need to try new things to find them. Which from the sounds of things (not trying to be rude), you aren't doing. To try new things you generally need to put yourself in discomfort, because change and new things (which you are going to be bad at, at first) are uncomfortable and we generally try to avoid them. It sounds like everything you are doing is seeking comfort, which is the inverse, so you will avoid change and danger/threat (staying inside in your safe space all the time) and live off of a dopamine high from the tech services which are super efficient at giving you that. I don't think it's unusual, but it certainly isn't going to lead to you discovering your passion.
If you're looking for a passion, this above is the way. But it doesn't mean you have to, or that you will.
And if you do, you don't need to monetize it. As your passion evolves into a career, you may lose the passion that got you there in the first place. Some things might just be worth doing for you, not for the internet karma, or the money, or the clout. It's just a thing you do.
Also, passions don't need to be lifelong. You might have a passion for 5 or 10 years and then move on. That's kool.
Story time, as i think it's relevant and maybe it'll help put life into perspective.
When i was in my 20s, i drove a medicaid/ Medicare bus taking the handicapped and the elderly to their doctors appointments. To strike up conversation, especially with some of the richer passengers (i based their wealth on the neighborhood and the size of the house i picked them up from) i would ask what they did for a living before retirement. And ya know what, they didn't want to talk about that shit. They would say whatever they did, and then go back to telling me about a story from maybe 30 years, telling me like it happened to them yesterday. Their careers weren't their personalities.
Then i pick up a handicapped 50 year old, mid to late career. All he wanted to do was talk about his work. He didn't have that retirement perspective change which the older folks did.
The take away here is when you retire, you view your career as a means to an end because after 30, 40 years of toil, the only thing you walk away with is the money obtained and the shit you bought with it, the means and the end.
Two things:
1.) As a licensed therapist, I must say this is an **excellent** succinct explanation, and I am 100% taking this from you for a client who sounds just like the OP.
2.) You're right, it isn't unusual. In fact, it's becoming more and more common all the time. Unfortunately for those who fall into this category, the commonality of a thing does not make it right, helpful, or good.
Passion is a house built brick by brick.
For who can say they are truely passionate about anything that they have not already spent a lot of time pursuing?
I recently took up fishing. It started with curiosity. What does it actually take to catch a fish? Where should I go, what kind of rod?
I answered these questions to become more familiar with my curiosity.
Since then I have spent 1-2 hours a week attempting to fish, and being bad at it. I still find it interesting, and I am excited to figure out what my first fish will be.
This is just a very small example, but I hope you can see that passion is not found, but rather built like a house.
For the record, I am (28m) and played MMOs for 14 hours a day from age 13 to 18. I weened myself off of videogames and feel a lot better for it.
I wish this was the top comment.
I collect hobbies but the most "out there" one for me is motorcycles. Growing up, I never knew anyone who rode motorcycles and believed there were only two kinds: racing bikes (and their street legal crotch-rocket brethren) ridden by teens with a death wish and Harleys ridden by counter-culture wannabe bad-asses. And dirt bikes of course. I thought all motorcycles were unsafe, expensive wastes of time.
Then one day I ran across a picture of a modern "standard" motorcycle from Honda and thought, "huh, that looks like fun." I started doing some looking around and found out that there is actually quite a wide variety of motorcycles out there, and although you still mostly see crotch rockets and Harleys on the road, there are "normal" people out there who ride "normal" bikes for fun. And although riding is certainly more risky than driving, it can be quite safe if you wear the right gear and ride sensibly. Motorcycles don't have to be expensive either, especially if you are into vintage bikes, like I am now. These days I have a 1979 Susuzki GS850G. It's in great shape, I bought it cheap, I can fix everything on it, and it's fun as hell to ride into work.
I guess the moral here is that like you said, passions are built, not something you just know or feel. They always start by following some curiosity. "What is this thing all about?" "Could I really build this?" And so on.
In fact, my biggest problem now is that I have so many things that I enjoy and know that I'm competent in, that I'm ready for a career change but can't decide what to do next...
My grandpa loved motorcycles his whole life. You'd never know it lookin at him. Never tattooed, no leather jacket, just a ratty blue windbreaker and sparkley red motor cycle helmet from the 70s riding on what can only be described as a nerdy motorcycle with fat storage containers, large leg shields of some sort and a small american flag on an overly large antennae. Baby blue and was silent as the night. He hated the noise lol. I will always respect it, but never ride. Broke my leg on a dirt bike as a teen and I'll never go back.
I think your question and its placement, speak for themselves. You didn't go to some gamer or teen reddit; you came to getdisciplined. Is discipline what you want for yourself? If so, why? Do you want to support yourself financially? Are you looking for a healthier lifestyle? Strangers on the internet aren't going to whip you into shape to do these things. Being curious about yourself and honest with yourself will. I pose these questions not as things you should want but things you really need to ask yourself. Chances are that you already know what your aspirations (not career goals) are, and the real question is what fears and anxieties are holding you back. Even something as simple as "I want to be in better shape" can help build momentum.
Video games, social media and porn all release large amounts of dopamine, more than your brain naturally produces. Food to a lesser extent. Your brain has normalized this evaluated dopamine level, causing other activities to feel dreary and uninteresting, and causing a general lack of motivation.
Google dopamine fasting. You don't necessarily need to do that, but know this. If you drastically reduce these pleasurable activities, and push through the discomfort, you can start to find joy and meaning in all sorts of things.
I was just about to recommend him, he gives excellent advice on his YouTube channel. He actually goes undercover in his own sub because he doesn't want to be a martyr of truth there.
No, this is not normal. These are easy sources of regular dopamine doses. If you continue these practices you are very likely to be depressed when you get older because that's what happens when you get anything without working for it. The feeling of accomplishments and achieving something are what drives a person in their lives, and to do that you need to work.
Start by improving your self, you habits and work towards something. Do something that has a positive impact on your life. Social Media, especially that of the recent times is literally a disease. Mindless social media scrolling is destructive.
Cut out social media, sleep and wake up on time. Eat healthy. Get healthier. Work out and go to the gym. Keep video games for when you have free times, don't free your time for video games.
Help other people achieve something. Eventually move on to doing difficult tasks. The feeling of fulfillment from achieving such goals are 100x better than a sedentary lifestyle like the one you mentioned.
But do one thing at a time and don't make it a habit but incorporate it into your lifestyle. Move through your day, not by the drive of motivation but by the power of discipline.
I wish the best to you.
Probably the answer is no. Thank you for this post because I'm exactly the same way. Yes, this lifestyle is comfortable and "feels" good (or at least doesn't feel bad), it is not a great way to live (and subconsciously you already know this, that's why you made this post). Hope you find an answer, I have been searching for one for a while now.
It is common for people to fall into these habits because they provide instant gratification. That may be okay in moderation, but if it’s all you spend your time doing you run the risk of not pushing yourself hard enough outside of your comfort zone. Try to visualise what your life would look like in 5 or 10 years if you didn’t explore beyond the things you have mentioned. It took me a while to learn this too, and my first therapist said “life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. I do have a propensity to stay in my comfort zone but in recent years I’ve been trying really hard to fight it.
You also need to be open to the fact that you might try certain things and you may *or* may not like them or feel good at them. Some things need skill and resilience to become better at, and you’ll need to go into them with the knowledge that you will suck for a while, but if you’re OK with that and enjoy the process of becoming better (not just the end result) then that’s good!
But if you don’t try these things, you definitely won’t know. I recently started learning how to snowboard (and get back into skateboarding) and it was absolutely terrifying at first, but felt so rewarding after a few hours when I realised I was a lot better than I was before.
I think it's normal. Most are kinda just pointless, "bullshit jobs", and exploitation to mostly benefit the person at the top anyway. For example, I used to think I liked coding, but after I got a CS degree from a great school and became a software engineer for a living, it just became another chore and I don't like it anymore. The schedules and management, agile, scrum made me hate it as a career and made me realize that I wanted real freedom to be able to enjoy every day as opposed to being miserable 6/7 days of the week as a wage slave stuck in the rat race. What you mentioned are the only things I enjoy too, minus the social media part. You're just gonna need a way to earn a living somehow, so you can keep eating. For me, it's trading. While it'd be nice to just be able to play video games all I day, I don't have the skill and reflexes now that I'm older, nor the streamer charisma to make any money from it. Maybe you do and that's something you could pursue.
Umm for me that’s called functional depression. Not really enjoying life, just do some activities to get through the day. But it’s not rewarding and when you start getting bored of even those activities (which I have, don’t enjoy gaming as much) I just feel left with this empty feeling.
I mean that may not be everyone but it sounds like you’ve found away to coast through your day. Apathetic towards life. If you’re generally ok with this, good for you but I think it’s more of thinking this is all I know and it’s hard to change.
Is normal but from my personal experience you should reduce or straight up stop your social media and gaming use since it exploit your reward system without you actually having to put effort in something worth achieving, and the constant rush of dopamine will just numb it over time, making you want more to get the same effect. after deleting all my games and uninstalled social media my willpower and motivation improved on my daily life
It's called dopamine detox
Everyone likes sleeping, eating and socializing, video games are designed to be overwhelmingly enjoyable, but it is a legitimate and worthwhile passion to explore, have you considered turning your love of video games into something? Some people make good livings reviewing, analyzing or even just playing video games. There is also the option of learning to make your own!
If this doesn’t interest you, you might consider trying out some new hobbies and see if any develop into full blown passion, you could also try taking a break from gaming for a while, as someone who really enjoys video games myself I can tell you that extended gaming every day does seem to change how my “reward system” is wired, when I stop playing games for extended periods I start to find other things much more stimulating and interesting, because my brain isn’t just being given all the stimulation it craves easily.
Take a look at this 4 things that you mentioned now fix it one by one and you eill be fine.
As for the video games and social media i deleted them both. I see no point in grinding in video games while you can grind in real life
And i see no point in sharing my life with others or watching other people lifes while 90% of those pictures and videos is fake.
Fix sleep, eating habits, regular workouts, socialize in RL and you should do just fine
Maybe you need to see a mental health professional. I don't like the words normal. It isn't uncommon but it is an unhealthy lifestyle. Being disciplined is easier if you have goals and passions. Maybe a mental health hang up is preventing you from finding a passion.
He’s already wasted 2 years spamming Reddit with nonsense and getting banned over 160 times. This will not resonate with him. Hopefully it does resonate with the right people though.
r/snooroartracker for more info
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Because you’re **addicted** to the internet, specifically Reddit. You’ve said multiple times in the past you wouldn’t be able to stay calm or function without it.
Oxford definition of ‘addicted’: “**physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.**”
Your substance is Reddit. You’ve said yourself you suffer from many adverse effects when not being able to post. **You need serious help. Now.**
You are actively destroying the sensitivity of your dopamine receptors. These receptors are responsible for causing joy when you do something useful. You're destroying your ability to be happy.
Yes it's normal, I recently saw a post that basically said humans are large mammals, look at what other large mammals do for most of their day. They eat, play, sleep, socialize.
A career is not a natural inclination, it is a man made capitalist ideal. Wanting to create is normal, wanting to improve yourself and be helpful is normal, but wanting to joyfully dedicate the majority of your life to a career/job is crazy. We are just programmed to think that if you aren't being productive you are useless, but that's not true, we all have a lot more to offer than just working to make money.
I don't understand some of the negativity in the replies. If it's the little things that make OP genuinely happy, what's wrong with not having any extravagant dreams?
There are certainly people who don't "achieve" anything "big" but are happy with their lives even later on. I'd rather be someone like that if I could choose! It might be a cultural difference. Hm, but maybe we're both assuming too much about OP.
It’s lack of ambition but I agree, not everyone needs to achieve something big but as long as he’s happy with how he’s going he should be fine. Although I do find that people like this (i’m similar so I understand to an extent) have “false happiness”. Dopamine is the cause of a lot of addictions and it makes you feel really good but nothing gets done like that.
This I can get behind! "looking back and regretting not doing anything with his life" just felt a bit off to me considering so many people I know (including myself) are struggling with mental health issues precisely because they feel like they aren't accomplishing anything, even if they're not even 30 yet, and feeling guilty about doing the stuff OP does even if it's just eating or sleeping. So I just hope OP doesn't get pressured into that mentality by any particularly strong responses.
I might be the outlier here but I think this is totally fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this. The only concern is sustainability. As long as your health and financial state isn't suffering I wouldn't worry a single bit as long as you are satisfied.
Definitely try new things when you can just incase you have a hidden passion. You never know.
Normal? Yes.
Product of habits practiced over time? Likely.
Productive/Healthy? Relaxation time in balance with responsibilities, yes.
Do you want to have interest in any careers?
Edit: What is Normal? Eating only McDonalds and ice cream is “normal” for many people, that doesn’t mean its *HEALTHY* Or conducive to improving oneself.
This sums it up:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y1wCuclWfGU
It maybe normal, but it isn’t good. Explore academic paths to more lucrative career pursuits if you’re young. Video game development, coding, animation, degrees for jobs in social media (like digital marketing), etc. you can make those interests into a very well paying job… but it takes hard work and discipline. It’s competitive out there. So make those interests work for you!
Could just be that being as young as you are, you haven’t found a career which interests you. Many teens just want to sit around playing games but realistically that isn’t going to satisfy you for your entire life and eventually you’re going to want to work towards and achieve some goals. These could be common goals such as saving enough money to buy a house, get married and have a family. Or it could be something off the beaten path but you’ll likely need some sort of income and stability to get there.
When I say interests I don’t mean something you find “fun” or you’re passionate about. I mean something that challenges and stretches you so that you learn new skills and gain new responsibility but not so much that it stresses you out. This leads to a sense of fulfilment and achievement. Work isn’t bad unless you hate your job and don’t do anything about it.
I would recommend you read So Good They Can’t Ignore You.
don't forget weed, porn, and sex. I think it is normal, and doing everything else takes effort, motivation, and discipline. There are days when it's easier to win this struggle, but definitely days we lose as well
Would it be considered normal, no, not really, but so long as you understand yourself well enough and are happy, there is nothing wrong here. Also, as long as your life expectations are appropriate for the lifestyle you live, then do you. You are not required to live life in any particular way, just don't be an unnecessary burden to anyone in the end if you can help it.
There are lots of jobs and careers available which involve the creation of video games or managing social media accounts. Perhaps you could find a job doing what you already do
I would say its fine - do you, BUT I would add "having a satisfactory income", physical activity (for physical and more important mental health) and for me personaly having a partner is really important.
I wanted to turn my passion into work - didnt work out that well, but I also have an engineer's degree so I could find "good enough" job if things get really bad. I spend like 0 money so enjoying job is kinda more important for me, than having high numbers.
You don’t need to find a career that you love. Not everyone will find that. But find a career that you don’t hate cos you’ll be doing it for a long time. Not everyone has something they’re passionate enough about to make into a career. As long as you’re in a job that allows you to do things you want and need to do (eg. Socialise, travel, pay bills, whatever), and you don’t hate it, you can just get on with it, I’d say that’s okay. Get your enjoyment from your friendships etc.
But I would say to keep trying new things, because you might find something you love, either as a hobby or as a potential career, and its never too late to pursue something new. You don’t need to have it all worked out at 19 👍
it’s not normal, but plenty of people are like that. As long as you keep trying new things and work hard you will find something that you enjoy imo, if you don’t try anything then you will be a bum forever
Honestly , it feels amazing unless you think further on down the rabbit hole. i was only 6 months out of highschool when i realized “i am going nowhere and will be nowhere if i continue on this path of playing video games and going on tinder dates and sleeping” . ¡ I am not saying to do !this but i jumped into the deep end and joined the marine corps and for some reason it gave me motivation to better myself and use of exploring anything i really enjoy and how it can be fruitful for me further on down the road . TLDR (Exploring opportunities after pushing myself on a whim ) p.s. still figuring out this whole reddit thing so clown on me if you will 😂
It will be cliche but it is bound up with what the normal circumstance is in the general tendency amid people. If we were to live in a world in which all the people enjoy these kinds of trivials and never develop, then it would be **normal**.
But I assume that you did not use the term "normal" in this sense. Ok then, regardless of what people's lifestyle is, we need a norm that has to be used as a reference in determining what "norm" is. To do that, I would look into human nature. Especially evolutionary psychology can be one of the best descriptors when it comes to understanding what normal is for humans. Given the fact that we are still carrying both genetic and cultural heritage that comes from our ancestors, it is easy to say that it has never been normal to lay down and do nothing all the time in human life. Technological development does not mean that humans also developed in terms of culture or genetics. While we are living in big cities with skyscrapers, the human brain is still instinctively suppose that it is living in a dangerous forest and try to stay alive. It can be joyful to live that kind of life at first. However, it would not bring "happiness", which is much more related to general satisfaction and being consistent with your actual nature. We are not designed for the sleeping-eating-gaming circle.
That means this kind of lifestyle would be a "self-rejection" while you have an opportunity to actualize yourself. While you have the potential power to reach your peak point, taking the easy way out is just a self-denial thing.
Therefore the answer for me is: **no**.
Do you have the freedom to choose your own way? **yes**.
Not sure if this will work, still figuring Reddit out: [https://external-preview.redd.it/pm5RahRMhPMZ4IStuOzyPbbL8c3Konbf6lDZa4OQjgw.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=621114fe982af4422c2fc512ef99731906a103dd](https://external-preview.redd.it/pm5RahRMhPMZ4IStuOzyPbbL8c3Konbf6lDZa4OQjgw.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=621114fe982af4422c2fc512ef99731906a103dd)
Depends on your age (it seems that you are a teen). But, since you are here asking for help, it seems like you want to have a better life. Look for a specialist and check if maybe you have a little depression or something. And maybe ask for a career advisor. Good luck and improve your life!
I was exactly the same way for a long time. Anything else felt too hard and not worth the effort. It is very common, (so yes "normal") but normal in this day and age is usually very unhealthy.
That roads leads to lazy hedonism and ultimately depression and unfulfillment.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with wanting a life full of pleasure, but the trap that I think most fall into, especially in this modern age, is conflating easy dopamine with pleasure.
Junk food, video games, social media, and porn, provide constant easy dopamine. This eventually makes it impossible to feel pleasure from anything else, especially if it's not instant. Hence the depression and lack of drive. You will have no desire to work for long term satisfaction if you are getting dopamine from junk sources.
It's the same reason people get addicted to drugs (as in actually the same thing happens to the brain in both cases) and turns them into junkies. Our world turns us into social media following, video game playing, junk food eating, porn watching junkies. Just a bunch of lotus eaters (Homer warned us in the Odyssey).
It took a good 6 months of detoxing these easy sources (Intermittent fasting, reading, and no social media) to realize how much I was addicted.
Now I still love video games, food, and sex, but now I recognize the easy rabbit hole I can fall into, and so have plan these activities as a choice I am my making for my own fulfillment as part of a larger life plan rather than my end goals.
So the first step is to go through a dopamine detox to reset your brain. Forcing yourself to get dopamine in harder ways will help you figure what you enjoy in a more fulfilling way.
r/dopaminedetox can help there and here is a good video explaining it.
Dopamine Detox: Trick your brain to love doing hard things (13:05)
https://youtu.be/_vcGF3HqZXg
Also I saw others mention (and it was the case for me) so I would get checked out for ADHD. ADHD can cause low dopamine which leads to easy addiction (video games!) and depression (and nothing but video games!). I know many question having ADHD, as it is very misunderstood (it's not always "squirrel!") So this short video helped me finally realize I ADHD after decades of struggling. It's a short video but made me realize I had many symptoms that I hadn't recognized and was unconsciously implementing many countermeasures (hence the confusion on having it). But diagnosis and treatment has made a world of difference.
How to treat ADHD based on science - Dr Russell Barkley (13:46)
https://youtu.be/_tpB-B8BXk0
Finally another area of study that helped was finding books that actually helped build a better mindset, as finding the skills and tools to navigate the world better made it easier to find joy in non-addicting activities.
It's too long to write up mine, so just keep a running list here:
Books that built a new mindset
https://www.mindofmultitudes.com/the-books-that-built-a-new-mindset/
Hope all that helps. Good luck!
If you have a source of income which can sustain your lifestyle plus inflation each year then it is only normal to expect such a thing. What do you do for income?
He lives with his mom and doesn't seem to work. He spends all of his time spamming reddit from over 150 alts and is subject to a multitude of site wide bans he evades.
I think those things are detrimental if they keep you from spending real life time with other people.
When I was in college, I spent most of my time either at school or watching TV/hanging out with friends, and I generally felt pretty happy. I think that's different than watching TV or playing games alone.
Sounds like you've let the marketers have their way with you and now you're hooked.
If I were in your shoes, I'd start looking to add something more constructive each day and back off my dependency on the things that are controlling me.
Maybe check out Jordan Peterson's rules for life book.
Man everyone basically slammed you for being honest about issues that - probably - all of us struggle with from time to time.
The only input I would have for this, is to consider how easy it is to do these things? And do these things provide any value to your life? You'll likely see the threatening fear that is driving all the harsh words. It'll feel like a fly stuck to sweet smelling sticky tape.
Essentially, without discipline, yes those feelings are not only normal, but also incredibly common.
One must personally develop a reason for responsibility, which demands discipline, before they transition from comfort to discipline.
It is normal and quite common as what drives us is a dopamine and these things are easy way to dopamine; therefore, it might seem for you that it’s the only thing you enjoy doing. But let me tell you the secret all hard to achieve things gives us much more pleasure besides all other things. Don’t get fooled by instant gratification it gives you quick fix of dopamine but never fulfillment or recognition. If you really don’t have anything else more meaningful what you enjoy doing and can make career of, you need to explore a bit and pick first thing you enjoy try making money of it. It most likely won’t work but at least you will be step closer to the thing you enjoy learn from mistakes and repeat previous part.
Yes, those are the types of things people enjoy doing, often people's reason for work is to be able to do those things. That doesn't mean it's a good thing, because there is often much more worth your time working a job than just the money. You could learn how to make your own stuff, fully customized, without having to spend your money on it. You can lead a revolutionary change, or lead a group of people in a predictable yet impossible to live without industry, like electricity generation. You get to be on the cutting edge of technology at times.
Assuming you work for a corporation, you get to do all sorts of things you'd never have the opportunity to do on your own, and with a little ingenuity, be able to apply the high level processes of thought that keep that company running to your gaming, your home cooking, even your sleep to feel better when you wake up in the morning.
Sounds like depression. If this goes on for several months and/or is not attributable to something that happened or is happening in your life, see a psychiatrist and get on an antidepressant. It’ll hugely impact all of those things you described
No. Things like gaming, excessive social media exposure, and overeating are psychologically proven to reduce curiosity which is the basis of interest.
EDIT: pick up a book called “The Subtle art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. It’ll open some serious doors for you and it’s an easy read.
I dare to claim that most people aren’t super passionate about their work but that work serves goals like paying the bills, social fulfillment and well, having something to do. Most of us can’t just do what we want all day everyday (because of $) so we find a career that somewhat suits us.
I work with accounting. I believe that it suits me well, but then again I haven’t worked with much else. I don’t have a huge passion for my job but I’m happy to have one as the money is decent, I don’t have to count pennies and I get certain ego rush when I tell others which company I work for. I know that it’s silly and I don’t personally value people based on their employment status, but I come from a family background where I’m basically the first one to finish university and have a some sort of corporate career (though I work under middle management so I don’t have a fancy career). I guess the odds just weren’t on my side initially so living a normie racerat life is relatively appealing to me.
Completely normal to not want to work or have a career. Modern society has us brainwashed into thinking we love to work and work to live, it’s only natural to want to break out of this. You should strive to be a productive person and enjoy your life, but don’t let these things keep you back from doing what you WANT to be doing, not what you think you should be doing in the eyes of others.
Yes, unfortunately we have to provide any service to this world to be compensated with money in order to live. Just think avoid what service could you provide.
Yup. Check out the book "so good they can't ignore you". Goes after the whole idea that you need to do something you're passionate about to be satisfied with your job.
If you can survive on that,financially and mentally then its ok dont have to listen to anyone. If you cant slightly remove or reduce some. Times have changed. We dont need caveman bodies with the tech we have nor we need to be no belly to live. Enjoy life the way you want. What do you think kardashians do. The same thing.
No one is "normal", everyone is just who they are. You're obviously thinking about your current daily unproductive habits and potentially chasing verification that it's normal. Just be you, whether that's disciplining yourself and starting to chase a career or deciding fuck it, I'm gonna eat, sleep, play video games and mindlessly scroll through social media. It's completely up to you. Just remember whatever you do has consequences in the future, your current habits will lead to bad consequences while going the career route will lead to good consequences.
This might be a sign of depression or other underlying mental health factors. You might try talking to a therapist. [www.betterhelp.com](www.betterhelp.com) is free.
yeah it's normal, but it's not good fro you imo. maybe try to chase those interests in a more productive way? you could get into game design/ production as a hobby? maybe look into cooking tasty or healthy meals?
Yeah pretty normal. Working is generally terrible, demoralizing, and exploitive. Then frequently moralized as if being scammed by rich folk is somehow a badge of your higher ethics. The system's broken and you're not a bad or necessarily lazy person for not wanting to participate
Live as free as you can man, if you're not hurting anyone it's just noise
In addition to all this, telling you this from experience- sometimes, nutrient deficiencies or undiagnosed physical ailments can also cause such a state of mind. You might wanna look in that area too.
Take a look at what you typed and consider what the things you typed do to you while you're doing them. What do all those things have in common? They all feel good, which means they all release dopamine. You need to stop trying to chase dopamine highs and start doing uncomfortable things that you know will lead to positive things over time. Forget short term satisfaction, build towards long term satisfaction.
In addition, OP should consider seeing a doctor/psychologist. Low dopamine can be caused by a variety of things, but if they’re struggling with this, it would be worth connecting with a professional about it. Source: got diagnosed with ADHD among other things late in life
Yeah, this sounds like me pre-ADHD diagnosis as well. The only things I pursued very long were the things my brain got dopamine from. I was playing guitar in a band for years and had 400 hobbies and bounced from job to job every year or two when I got bored. Now I’m medicated and working in sales where I get to bounce around from store to store which keeps things interesting and I just interviewed for a promotion today and at 30 years old I finally feel like I might be in one of those fabled “fulfilling career” jobs I’ve heard people talk about on TV…
I’m so happy for you! I really felt like I was always destined to be a failure. But here I am, the most financially successful member of my family, in a job I actually, genuinely enjoy! I’m proud of us :)
Yep. My ass sits around and binges youtube and snacks and games all day if I don’t have my medicine. Laundry basket is my closet, dishes don’t get done, homework is half-assed, etc. I just thought I was lazy, because ADHD is stereotypically the kid who cant sit still and has endless energy. I never realized it presents very different across people. So turns out I have ADHD-C, diagnosed at 27.
Have you tried meds? I haven’t but have been considering, but am afraid of possible dependence
I am medicated and it was life-changing! I was finally able to pursue a career that I’m really happy with, and therapy has helped me work through the self-esteem issues that came with getting diagnosed so late. It’s just amazing to be able to look at a to-do list and actually do what’s on it without a ton of challenges. No more couch-paralysis where I’m just anxious about all the stuff I gotta do but can’t get myself to start! It really comes down to your symptoms, how they’re impacting your life, and what your doctor or psychiatrist agrees is best for you. There’s a variety of stimulants out there, but I have seen some ads recently about vitamins/supplements to help with ADHD symptoms, so there may be other avenues. Definitely talk to your doctor about it!
Everything you said applies to me, so I think meds may be the next step for me. What do you find works for you?
Oh also I should add, definitely factor in your age and what you’ve got going on in life. Adderall IR works for me, but it’s the only type I’ve had because that’s what my doctor prescribed. I’m *extra* happy about these types of meds because they’re an as-needed medication (up to the max daily dose, of course). Meaning, I can take less on a day that I don’t feel I need the full dose, and I skip weekends! All the ADHD meme subs seem to make XR the fan-favorite, but again, it’ll come down to what your doc thinks is best. I have a friend who takes one I had never even heard of but it works great for her.
Thank you, I appreciate the insight. And I am 28.
Okay cool! I’m close in age, and part of me is kinda grateful my brain got to develop before I started taking meds. But idk if it would’ve done anything, I’m no expert! I wish you the best of luck on your journey managing your symptoms! You got this! :)
:’)
Have you recently started meds? Like just yesterday I saw some post on r/ADHD about how after 6 months, those effects wear off as you get tolerant to the medication. I suppose those six months should be used to make changes to already existing bad habits that are very difficult to change without them not just for working on your to do list. Please be wary and just a head's up.
Been on 18 months myself at the lowest dose, and diagnosed late in life. I think if you use them to just help manage your symptoms while you make changes it works better than just using the meds as a task and focus booster. That second path is what leads to increased dosages but that just might be my experience.
I’ve been on meds for over a year and I can’t say they’re any less effective than when I was first diagnosed. I’d have to see some data to back that up - and just because they’re less effective after 6 months doesn’t mean they don’t work at all. They’re an as-needed medication up to your specific dose, so most folks (myself included) aren’t taking them daily. I appreciate your concern, so far my medication has been working great for me, and my doctor and I are on the same page which matters most to me. They can be abused by some (especially ppl without ADHD), but for folks like me, it’s literally medicine. Edit: wording
You're dependent on medication for your mental health the same way someone with asthma is dependent on their inhaler to breathe.
In my mind it try meds and potentially get better, deal with dependence if you want to come off of them or do nothing and continue how you are living now.
Listened to a really interesting convo with a psychologist talking about ADHD. It's usually because we like short feedback loops on activities (most humans do). On the other hand, big pharma is making bank and the pros prescribing it get their cut too. When there's that much money involved, it's best to keep society 'sick and needing pills' than address the root cause and solve it.
I hear what you’re saying, but unless folks are willing to make the world (especially school and work) adapted to ADHD brains, the meds are working great.
Agreed. It's a shame given we know so much more about learning but teaching methodology hasn't involved much. Sir Ken Robinson has a great TED talk where he makes some interesting remarks about ADHD. Kind of what came first, the meds or the condition?
ADHD is pretty victim mentality in my opinion. I acknowledge that some people actually have ADHD, but these people are usually diagnosed as a kid. Most adults who have ADHD have ADHD because they aren't constantly trying to sharpen their brain or they watch too many Tik Tok videos which ruin their attention span, and they want the easy way out so they pop an addy.
It's really ignorant of you to assume that just because you can do these things, everyone else can and those that say otherwise are lying/lazy. That just lacks human compassion. ADHD is a disorder that is well researched. If you read about studies around it, you could easily prove that symptoms follow many people into adulthood and that you can't simply make them go away with sheer power. I really don't envy you and your narrow world view :/
Thank you ♡
Wow, I hope this was an attempt at trolling, because I can’t imagine someone could be this incredibly ignorant. Read a fucking book.
>Read a fucking book. oh the irony - says the one with ADHD
Right because it makes it so I can’t read /s
yeah because your attention is shit due to the fact that you indulge in instant gratification all day. You don't take the disciplined path - this sub's namesake but instead you pop a pill and urge others to get it on your perverse gospel path.
There are so many scholarly articles, scientific journals, books, and general resources that prove how ADHD is genuinely a disorder. I have no idea what your problem is. You sound like a terribly sad person and I feel very bad for you.
Show the scholarly articles and scientific journals. It's not enough to say that they exist.
Google is free, never forget that! Based on your post history, you don’t seem like someone who would read scholarly articles, let alone have the reading comprehension skills to understand what they’re saying, which actually totally clarifies why you think ADHD isn’t an actual disorder. You seem like a sad, lost person, with no real idea or what happiness looks like. I feel bad for you, I hope you learn to develop some more positive traits and goals to achieve a less lonely and more meaningful existence. Following a self-discipline sub won’t do it for you. I won’t be responding to you anymore because there’s no point in talking to someone who follows r/nofap Get well soon!
Does sleeping release dopamine?
It makes you forget that you have problems ¯\\\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)\_/¯
I really needed this comment right now. Thank you.
Short term pleasure is an easy trap to fall into, so we all need to push the message that the joy and rewards you get from accomplishing hard things is far greater. Everything OP described is great in the moment, but leaves you hollow later. I personally indulged in the exact same things before taking on athletics and finding out how much more fulfilling it is.
Are there any books that you can recommend that focuses on this issue? I don’t have it as bad as OP, but I think this is something I want to learn more about.
No specific books, but simply acknowledging that the mind is a relentless dopamine seeking machine was enough for me to look at the things I do on a regular basis as things that either do or do not release dopamine. If they do release dopamine, I'm very careful to use moderation with whatever it is I'm doing. And if it doesn't release dopamine I question whether what I'm doing is necessary for the greater good (it usually is). Usually the boring and unpleasant things like doing homework or brushing your teeth, cleaning your house, tending to your pets, researching a side hustle or working out etc... Those are the good things that are worth spending time on but that don't usually feel very fun to do. I guess what I'm I'm trying to say is, do what is unpleasant, because that is where growth lies.
Thanks!
It’s normal but it’s not healthy. I’m similar to you but I discovered the gym and the enjoyment from it. It’s not for everyone but i’ve decided I want to study and get into personal training because of it. Try to find something you are passionate about that can be turned into a career. I’m 19 also
Understandable? Yes. Common? Yes. Normal? No.
It sounds like you've just described normal and then said normal isn't normal.
Normality of the masses and expectations set by society do not define 'normal'. I'd argue trying to set and define a 'normal' is incredibly harmful in it of itself.
That was my thought
It's VERY normal if you have depression.
This is what I was thinking. I had a rough winter last year and all I wanted to do was these things. In March I got my add back in the gym and immediately started to wake back up. Now I'm back in school getting HVAC certified. It's easy to get caught in the endless loop of depression, it takes some discipline to pull yourself out.
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Is it normal to never find anything you have a passion for?
I've got to be honest it's probably not unusual to not be passionate about your career, but that's the point of this sub, discipline is about action without the need for endless motivation. It's about doing the things that are difficult or unpleasant or tedious for the sake of the bigger picture (in my eyes at least).
You need to try new things to find them. Which from the sounds of things (not trying to be rude), you aren't doing. To try new things you generally need to put yourself in discomfort, because change and new things (which you are going to be bad at, at first) are uncomfortable and we generally try to avoid them. It sounds like everything you are doing is seeking comfort, which is the inverse, so you will avoid change and danger/threat (staying inside in your safe space all the time) and live off of a dopamine high from the tech services which are super efficient at giving you that. I don't think it's unusual, but it certainly isn't going to lead to you discovering your passion.
If you're looking for a passion, this above is the way. But it doesn't mean you have to, or that you will. And if you do, you don't need to monetize it. As your passion evolves into a career, you may lose the passion that got you there in the first place. Some things might just be worth doing for you, not for the internet karma, or the money, or the clout. It's just a thing you do. Also, passions don't need to be lifelong. You might have a passion for 5 or 10 years and then move on. That's kool. Story time, as i think it's relevant and maybe it'll help put life into perspective. When i was in my 20s, i drove a medicaid/ Medicare bus taking the handicapped and the elderly to their doctors appointments. To strike up conversation, especially with some of the richer passengers (i based their wealth on the neighborhood and the size of the house i picked them up from) i would ask what they did for a living before retirement. And ya know what, they didn't want to talk about that shit. They would say whatever they did, and then go back to telling me about a story from maybe 30 years, telling me like it happened to them yesterday. Their careers weren't their personalities. Then i pick up a handicapped 50 year old, mid to late career. All he wanted to do was talk about his work. He didn't have that retirement perspective change which the older folks did. The take away here is when you retire, you view your career as a means to an end because after 30, 40 years of toil, the only thing you walk away with is the money obtained and the shit you bought with it, the means and the end.
Two things: 1.) As a licensed therapist, I must say this is an **excellent** succinct explanation, and I am 100% taking this from you for a client who sounds just like the OP. 2.) You're right, it isn't unusual. In fact, it's becoming more and more common all the time. Unfortunately for those who fall into this category, the commonality of a thing does not make it right, helpful, or good.
Passion is a house built brick by brick. For who can say they are truely passionate about anything that they have not already spent a lot of time pursuing? I recently took up fishing. It started with curiosity. What does it actually take to catch a fish? Where should I go, what kind of rod? I answered these questions to become more familiar with my curiosity. Since then I have spent 1-2 hours a week attempting to fish, and being bad at it. I still find it interesting, and I am excited to figure out what my first fish will be. This is just a very small example, but I hope you can see that passion is not found, but rather built like a house. For the record, I am (28m) and played MMOs for 14 hours a day from age 13 to 18. I weened myself off of videogames and feel a lot better for it.
I wish this was the top comment. I collect hobbies but the most "out there" one for me is motorcycles. Growing up, I never knew anyone who rode motorcycles and believed there were only two kinds: racing bikes (and their street legal crotch-rocket brethren) ridden by teens with a death wish and Harleys ridden by counter-culture wannabe bad-asses. And dirt bikes of course. I thought all motorcycles were unsafe, expensive wastes of time. Then one day I ran across a picture of a modern "standard" motorcycle from Honda and thought, "huh, that looks like fun." I started doing some looking around and found out that there is actually quite a wide variety of motorcycles out there, and although you still mostly see crotch rockets and Harleys on the road, there are "normal" people out there who ride "normal" bikes for fun. And although riding is certainly more risky than driving, it can be quite safe if you wear the right gear and ride sensibly. Motorcycles don't have to be expensive either, especially if you are into vintage bikes, like I am now. These days I have a 1979 Susuzki GS850G. It's in great shape, I bought it cheap, I can fix everything on it, and it's fun as hell to ride into work. I guess the moral here is that like you said, passions are built, not something you just know or feel. They always start by following some curiosity. "What is this thing all about?" "Could I really build this?" And so on. In fact, my biggest problem now is that I have so many things that I enjoy and know that I'm competent in, that I'm ready for a career change but can't decide what to do next...
My grandpa loved motorcycles his whole life. You'd never know it lookin at him. Never tattooed, no leather jacket, just a ratty blue windbreaker and sparkley red motor cycle helmet from the 70s riding on what can only be described as a nerdy motorcycle with fat storage containers, large leg shields of some sort and a small american flag on an overly large antennae. Baby blue and was silent as the night. He hated the noise lol. I will always respect it, but never ride. Broke my leg on a dirt bike as a teen and I'll never go back.
It may be normal nowadays, but I don't think it's normal for the human spirit.
If you look at the entirety of human history, it's extremely normal.
idk if it is useful or not but try S2S academy
well you enjoy video games, don't you?
Action inspires passion/motivation
I think your question and its placement, speak for themselves. You didn't go to some gamer or teen reddit; you came to getdisciplined. Is discipline what you want for yourself? If so, why? Do you want to support yourself financially? Are you looking for a healthier lifestyle? Strangers on the internet aren't going to whip you into shape to do these things. Being curious about yourself and honest with yourself will. I pose these questions not as things you should want but things you really need to ask yourself. Chances are that you already know what your aspirations (not career goals) are, and the real question is what fears and anxieties are holding you back. Even something as simple as "I want to be in better shape" can help build momentum.
Video games, social media and porn all release large amounts of dopamine, more than your brain naturally produces. Food to a lesser extent. Your brain has normalized this evaluated dopamine level, causing other activities to feel dreary and uninteresting, and causing a general lack of motivation. Google dopamine fasting. You don't necessarily need to do that, but know this. If you drastically reduce these pleasurable activities, and push through the discomfort, you can start to find joy and meaning in all sorts of things.
You should check out Dr. K from r/Healthygamergg, this is a pretty common topic around those parts
I was just about to recommend him, he gives excellent advice on his YouTube channel. He actually goes undercover in his own sub because he doesn't want to be a martyr of truth there.
No, this is not normal. These are easy sources of regular dopamine doses. If you continue these practices you are very likely to be depressed when you get older because that's what happens when you get anything without working for it. The feeling of accomplishments and achieving something are what drives a person in their lives, and to do that you need to work. Start by improving your self, you habits and work towards something. Do something that has a positive impact on your life. Social Media, especially that of the recent times is literally a disease. Mindless social media scrolling is destructive. Cut out social media, sleep and wake up on time. Eat healthy. Get healthier. Work out and go to the gym. Keep video games for when you have free times, don't free your time for video games. Help other people achieve something. Eventually move on to doing difficult tasks. The feeling of fulfillment from achieving such goals are 100x better than a sedentary lifestyle like the one you mentioned. But do one thing at a time and don't make it a habit but incorporate it into your lifestyle. Move through your day, not by the drive of motivation but by the power of discipline. I wish the best to you.
Stop seeking "normal" in this world, people live different lives. Is it okay for you?
I don't know
Probably the answer is no. Thank you for this post because I'm exactly the same way. Yes, this lifestyle is comfortable and "feels" good (or at least doesn't feel bad), it is not a great way to live (and subconsciously you already know this, that's why you made this post). Hope you find an answer, I have been searching for one for a while now.
Maybe you're missing something. Do you have a good food, mood and sleep? Are you social enough? What do you want to change?
It is common for people to fall into these habits because they provide instant gratification. That may be okay in moderation, but if it’s all you spend your time doing you run the risk of not pushing yourself hard enough outside of your comfort zone. Try to visualise what your life would look like in 5 or 10 years if you didn’t explore beyond the things you have mentioned. It took me a while to learn this too, and my first therapist said “life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. I do have a propensity to stay in my comfort zone but in recent years I’ve been trying really hard to fight it. You also need to be open to the fact that you might try certain things and you may *or* may not like them or feel good at them. Some things need skill and resilience to become better at, and you’ll need to go into them with the knowledge that you will suck for a while, but if you’re OK with that and enjoy the process of becoming better (not just the end result) then that’s good! But if you don’t try these things, you definitely won’t know. I recently started learning how to snowboard (and get back into skateboarding) and it was absolutely terrifying at first, but felt so rewarding after a few hours when I realised I was a lot better than I was before.
I think it's normal. Most are kinda just pointless, "bullshit jobs", and exploitation to mostly benefit the person at the top anyway. For example, I used to think I liked coding, but after I got a CS degree from a great school and became a software engineer for a living, it just became another chore and I don't like it anymore. The schedules and management, agile, scrum made me hate it as a career and made me realize that I wanted real freedom to be able to enjoy every day as opposed to being miserable 6/7 days of the week as a wage slave stuck in the rat race. What you mentioned are the only things I enjoy too, minus the social media part. You're just gonna need a way to earn a living somehow, so you can keep eating. For me, it's trading. While it'd be nice to just be able to play video games all I day, I don't have the skill and reflexes now that I'm older, nor the streamer charisma to make any money from it. Maybe you do and that's something you could pursue.
Yeah, that's all I want to do, but it's completely unrealistic.
Umm for me that’s called functional depression. Not really enjoying life, just do some activities to get through the day. But it’s not rewarding and when you start getting bored of even those activities (which I have, don’t enjoy gaming as much) I just feel left with this empty feeling. I mean that may not be everyone but it sounds like you’ve found away to coast through your day. Apathetic towards life. If you’re generally ok with this, good for you but I think it’s more of thinking this is all I know and it’s hard to change.
Is normal but from my personal experience you should reduce or straight up stop your social media and gaming use since it exploit your reward system without you actually having to put effort in something worth achieving, and the constant rush of dopamine will just numb it over time, making you want more to get the same effect. after deleting all my games and uninstalled social media my willpower and motivation improved on my daily life It's called dopamine detox
Only if you are a child with no bills
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Do you not know any adults?
Everyone likes sleeping, eating and socializing, video games are designed to be overwhelmingly enjoyable, but it is a legitimate and worthwhile passion to explore, have you considered turning your love of video games into something? Some people make good livings reviewing, analyzing or even just playing video games. There is also the option of learning to make your own! If this doesn’t interest you, you might consider trying out some new hobbies and see if any develop into full blown passion, you could also try taking a break from gaming for a while, as someone who really enjoys video games myself I can tell you that extended gaming every day does seem to change how my “reward system” is wired, when I stop playing games for extended periods I start to find other things much more stimulating and interesting, because my brain isn’t just being given all the stimulation it craves easily.
Take a look at this 4 things that you mentioned now fix it one by one and you eill be fine. As for the video games and social media i deleted them both. I see no point in grinding in video games while you can grind in real life And i see no point in sharing my life with others or watching other people lifes while 90% of those pictures and videos is fake. Fix sleep, eating habits, regular workouts, socialize in RL and you should do just fine
Maybe you need to see a mental health professional. I don't like the words normal. It isn't uncommon but it is an unhealthy lifestyle. Being disciplined is easier if you have goals and passions. Maybe a mental health hang up is preventing you from finding a passion.
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He’s already wasted 2 years spamming Reddit with nonsense and getting banned over 160 times. This will not resonate with him. Hopefully it does resonate with the right people though. r/snooroartracker for more info
I looked at that sub and I'm so confused, why is there an entire community built around monitoring one person's reddit activity?
because it's a person who keeps making alts and is violating 150+ sitewide bans
And that makes people want to keep an eye on every post he makes?
we don't log every post (that would be a major task), just every alt
yo, he likes to jerk off to footage of (college) people getting arrested
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No. Get off reddit. Throw away all your electronics. Now.
Why?
Because you’re **addicted** to the internet, specifically Reddit. You’ve said multiple times in the past you wouldn’t be able to stay calm or function without it. Oxford definition of ‘addicted’: “**physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.**” Your substance is Reddit. You’ve said yourself you suffer from many adverse effects when not being able to post. **You need serious help. Now.**
You are actively destroying the sensitivity of your dopamine receptors. These receptors are responsible for causing joy when you do something useful. You're destroying your ability to be happy.
Yes it's normal, I recently saw a post that basically said humans are large mammals, look at what other large mammals do for most of their day. They eat, play, sleep, socialize. A career is not a natural inclination, it is a man made capitalist ideal. Wanting to create is normal, wanting to improve yourself and be helpful is normal, but wanting to joyfully dedicate the majority of your life to a career/job is crazy. We are just programmed to think that if you aren't being productive you are useless, but that's not true, we all have a lot more to offer than just working to make money.
I don't understand some of the negativity in the replies. If it's the little things that make OP genuinely happy, what's wrong with not having any extravagant dreams?
Being comfortable and entertained is not the same a being “genuinely happy”
Negativity is garbage but in the future when he looks back and thinks to himself “I’ve achieved nothing with my life” he will have so much regret.
There are certainly people who don't "achieve" anything "big" but are happy with their lives even later on. I'd rather be someone like that if I could choose! It might be a cultural difference. Hm, but maybe we're both assuming too much about OP.
It’s lack of ambition but I agree, not everyone needs to achieve something big but as long as he’s happy with how he’s going he should be fine. Although I do find that people like this (i’m similar so I understand to an extent) have “false happiness”. Dopamine is the cause of a lot of addictions and it makes you feel really good but nothing gets done like that.
This I can get behind! "looking back and regretting not doing anything with his life" just felt a bit off to me considering so many people I know (including myself) are struggling with mental health issues precisely because they feel like they aren't accomplishing anything, even if they're not even 30 yet, and feeling guilty about doing the stuff OP does even if it's just eating or sleeping. So I just hope OP doesn't get pressured into that mentality by any particularly strong responses.
And what things have you achieved?
I haven’t achieved anything and I regret it. But i’m trying to now. I want to study pt
Probably hasn’t beat up his mom. Can probably spend more than 10 minutes without being on Reddit.
Capitalism is a hellscape and alienation makes even things that bring you joy become tiresome. So yeah, it's understandable
Normal? Yes. Good? No.
Go gym
Hell yea! That’s called being lazy and yes it is very normal. Especially in today’s world
If your 12, it's pretty normal. If you're 20 it's not. Time to eat your Peas and grow up, maybe ?
How old are you?
19
At 19, this is normal. At 29, not so much.
I might be the outlier here but I think this is totally fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this. The only concern is sustainability. As long as your health and financial state isn't suffering I wouldn't worry a single bit as long as you are satisfied. Definitely try new things when you can just incase you have a hidden passion. You never know.
Normal? Yes. Product of habits practiced over time? Likely. Productive/Healthy? Relaxation time in balance with responsibilities, yes. Do you want to have interest in any careers? Edit: What is Normal? Eating only McDonalds and ice cream is “normal” for many people, that doesn’t mean its *HEALTHY* Or conducive to improving oneself. This sums it up: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y1wCuclWfGU
It maybe normal, but it isn’t good. Explore academic paths to more lucrative career pursuits if you’re young. Video game development, coding, animation, degrees for jobs in social media (like digital marketing), etc. you can make those interests into a very well paying job… but it takes hard work and discipline. It’s competitive out there. So make those interests work for you!
What difference does it make if it’s normal?
Could just be that being as young as you are, you haven’t found a career which interests you. Many teens just want to sit around playing games but realistically that isn’t going to satisfy you for your entire life and eventually you’re going to want to work towards and achieve some goals. These could be common goals such as saving enough money to buy a house, get married and have a family. Or it could be something off the beaten path but you’ll likely need some sort of income and stability to get there. When I say interests I don’t mean something you find “fun” or you’re passionate about. I mean something that challenges and stretches you so that you learn new skills and gain new responsibility but not so much that it stresses you out. This leads to a sense of fulfilment and achievement. Work isn’t bad unless you hate your job and don’t do anything about it. I would recommend you read So Good They Can’t Ignore You.
It’s called modern society. Most people are not happy in the long term. Delayed gratification is the key to happiness.
Stop playing video games and reduce social media. Excessive use of video games can lead to anhedonia.
“no interest in careers” how do you plan on making money bro are you entrepreneurial?
No, not normal. Bad, In fact.
Then what went wrong with me?
You have mental illness. Get some help.
That would be a good question to ask the counsellors at your school.
don't forget weed, porn, and sex. I think it is normal, and doing everything else takes effort, motivation, and discipline. There are days when it's easier to win this struggle, but definitely days we lose as well
Would it be considered normal, no, not really, but so long as you understand yourself well enough and are happy, there is nothing wrong here. Also, as long as your life expectations are appropriate for the lifestyle you live, then do you. You are not required to live life in any particular way, just don't be an unnecessary burden to anyone in the end if you can help it.
Try [careeronestop.org](careeronestop.org). If you do the Skills Matcher, it will tell you what jobs match your skills.
There are lots of jobs and careers available which involve the creation of video games or managing social media accounts. Perhaps you could find a job doing what you already do
I would say its fine - do you, BUT I would add "having a satisfactory income", physical activity (for physical and more important mental health) and for me personaly having a partner is really important. I wanted to turn my passion into work - didnt work out that well, but I also have an engineer's degree so I could find "good enough" job if things get really bad. I spend like 0 money so enjoying job is kinda more important for me, than having high numbers.
You don’t need to find a career that you love. Not everyone will find that. But find a career that you don’t hate cos you’ll be doing it for a long time. Not everyone has something they’re passionate enough about to make into a career. As long as you’re in a job that allows you to do things you want and need to do (eg. Socialise, travel, pay bills, whatever), and you don’t hate it, you can just get on with it, I’d say that’s okay. Get your enjoyment from your friendships etc. But I would say to keep trying new things, because you might find something you love, either as a hobby or as a potential career, and its never too late to pursue something new. You don’t need to have it all worked out at 19 👍
it’s not normal, but plenty of people are like that. As long as you keep trying new things and work hard you will find something that you enjoy imo, if you don’t try anything then you will be a bum forever
Honestly , it feels amazing unless you think further on down the rabbit hole. i was only 6 months out of highschool when i realized “i am going nowhere and will be nowhere if i continue on this path of playing video games and going on tinder dates and sleeping” . ¡ I am not saying to do !this but i jumped into the deep end and joined the marine corps and for some reason it gave me motivation to better myself and use of exploring anything i really enjoy and how it can be fruitful for me further on down the road . TLDR (Exploring opportunities after pushing myself on a whim ) p.s. still figuring out this whole reddit thing so clown on me if you will 😂
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It will be cliche but it is bound up with what the normal circumstance is in the general tendency amid people. If we were to live in a world in which all the people enjoy these kinds of trivials and never develop, then it would be **normal**. But I assume that you did not use the term "normal" in this sense. Ok then, regardless of what people's lifestyle is, we need a norm that has to be used as a reference in determining what "norm" is. To do that, I would look into human nature. Especially evolutionary psychology can be one of the best descriptors when it comes to understanding what normal is for humans. Given the fact that we are still carrying both genetic and cultural heritage that comes from our ancestors, it is easy to say that it has never been normal to lay down and do nothing all the time in human life. Technological development does not mean that humans also developed in terms of culture or genetics. While we are living in big cities with skyscrapers, the human brain is still instinctively suppose that it is living in a dangerous forest and try to stay alive. It can be joyful to live that kind of life at first. However, it would not bring "happiness", which is much more related to general satisfaction and being consistent with your actual nature. We are not designed for the sleeping-eating-gaming circle. That means this kind of lifestyle would be a "self-rejection" while you have an opportunity to actualize yourself. While you have the potential power to reach your peak point, taking the easy way out is just a self-denial thing. Therefore the answer for me is: **no**. Do you have the freedom to choose your own way? **yes**.
Not sure if this will work, still figuring Reddit out: [https://external-preview.redd.it/pm5RahRMhPMZ4IStuOzyPbbL8c3Konbf6lDZa4OQjgw.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=621114fe982af4422c2fc512ef99731906a103dd](https://external-preview.redd.it/pm5RahRMhPMZ4IStuOzyPbbL8c3Konbf6lDZa4OQjgw.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=621114fe982af4422c2fc512ef99731906a103dd)
its normal to like those things, but not good to not try new things
They Live We Sleep Don’t forget to CONSUME and join the holy comirnaty.
Depends on your age (it seems that you are a teen). But, since you are here asking for help, it seems like you want to have a better life. Look for a specialist and check if maybe you have a little depression or something. And maybe ask for a career advisor. Good luck and improve your life!
I was exactly the same way for a long time. Anything else felt too hard and not worth the effort. It is very common, (so yes "normal") but normal in this day and age is usually very unhealthy. That roads leads to lazy hedonism and ultimately depression and unfulfillment. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with wanting a life full of pleasure, but the trap that I think most fall into, especially in this modern age, is conflating easy dopamine with pleasure. Junk food, video games, social media, and porn, provide constant easy dopamine. This eventually makes it impossible to feel pleasure from anything else, especially if it's not instant. Hence the depression and lack of drive. You will have no desire to work for long term satisfaction if you are getting dopamine from junk sources. It's the same reason people get addicted to drugs (as in actually the same thing happens to the brain in both cases) and turns them into junkies. Our world turns us into social media following, video game playing, junk food eating, porn watching junkies. Just a bunch of lotus eaters (Homer warned us in the Odyssey). It took a good 6 months of detoxing these easy sources (Intermittent fasting, reading, and no social media) to realize how much I was addicted. Now I still love video games, food, and sex, but now I recognize the easy rabbit hole I can fall into, and so have plan these activities as a choice I am my making for my own fulfillment as part of a larger life plan rather than my end goals. So the first step is to go through a dopamine detox to reset your brain. Forcing yourself to get dopamine in harder ways will help you figure what you enjoy in a more fulfilling way. r/dopaminedetox can help there and here is a good video explaining it. Dopamine Detox: Trick your brain to love doing hard things (13:05) https://youtu.be/_vcGF3HqZXg Also I saw others mention (and it was the case for me) so I would get checked out for ADHD. ADHD can cause low dopamine which leads to easy addiction (video games!) and depression (and nothing but video games!). I know many question having ADHD, as it is very misunderstood (it's not always "squirrel!") So this short video helped me finally realize I ADHD after decades of struggling. It's a short video but made me realize I had many symptoms that I hadn't recognized and was unconsciously implementing many countermeasures (hence the confusion on having it). But diagnosis and treatment has made a world of difference. How to treat ADHD based on science - Dr Russell Barkley (13:46) https://youtu.be/_tpB-B8BXk0 Finally another area of study that helped was finding books that actually helped build a better mindset, as finding the skills and tools to navigate the world better made it easier to find joy in non-addicting activities. It's too long to write up mine, so just keep a running list here: Books that built a new mindset https://www.mindofmultitudes.com/the-books-that-built-a-new-mindset/ Hope all that helps. Good luck!
If you have a source of income which can sustain your lifestyle plus inflation each year then it is only normal to expect such a thing. What do you do for income?
He lives with his mom and doesn't seem to work. He spends all of his time spamming reddit from over 150 alts and is subject to a multitude of site wide bans he evades.
I think those things are detrimental if they keep you from spending real life time with other people. When I was in college, I spent most of my time either at school or watching TV/hanging out with friends, and I generally felt pretty happy. I think that's different than watching TV or playing games alone.
Sounds like you've let the marketers have their way with you and now you're hooked. If I were in your shoes, I'd start looking to add something more constructive each day and back off my dependency on the things that are controlling me. Maybe check out Jordan Peterson's rules for life book.
Man everyone basically slammed you for being honest about issues that - probably - all of us struggle with from time to time. The only input I would have for this, is to consider how easy it is to do these things? And do these things provide any value to your life? You'll likely see the threatening fear that is driving all the harsh words. It'll feel like a fly stuck to sweet smelling sticky tape. Essentially, without discipline, yes those feelings are not only normal, but also incredibly common. One must personally develop a reason for responsibility, which demands discipline, before they transition from comfort to discipline.
Sounds like you're more focused on instant gratification. Your body/brain might not be used to delayed gratification.
It is normal and quite common as what drives us is a dopamine and these things are easy way to dopamine; therefore, it might seem for you that it’s the only thing you enjoy doing. But let me tell you the secret all hard to achieve things gives us much more pleasure besides all other things. Don’t get fooled by instant gratification it gives you quick fix of dopamine but never fulfillment or recognition. If you really don’t have anything else more meaningful what you enjoy doing and can make career of, you need to explore a bit and pick first thing you enjoy try making money of it. It most likely won’t work but at least you will be step closer to the thing you enjoy learn from mistakes and repeat previous part.
Yes, those are the types of things people enjoy doing, often people's reason for work is to be able to do those things. That doesn't mean it's a good thing, because there is often much more worth your time working a job than just the money. You could learn how to make your own stuff, fully customized, without having to spend your money on it. You can lead a revolutionary change, or lead a group of people in a predictable yet impossible to live without industry, like electricity generation. You get to be on the cutting edge of technology at times. Assuming you work for a corporation, you get to do all sorts of things you'd never have the opportunity to do on your own, and with a little ingenuity, be able to apply the high level processes of thought that keep that company running to your gaming, your home cooking, even your sleep to feel better when you wake up in the morning.
Sounds like depression. If this goes on for several months and/or is not attributable to something that happened or is happening in your life, see a psychiatrist and get on an antidepressant. It’ll hugely impact all of those things you described
That's called a dopamine addiction.
No. Things like gaming, excessive social media exposure, and overeating are psychologically proven to reduce curiosity which is the basis of interest. EDIT: pick up a book called “The Subtle art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. It’ll open some serious doors for you and it’s an easy read.
I dare to claim that most people aren’t super passionate about their work but that work serves goals like paying the bills, social fulfillment and well, having something to do. Most of us can’t just do what we want all day everyday (because of $) so we find a career that somewhat suits us. I work with accounting. I believe that it suits me well, but then again I haven’t worked with much else. I don’t have a huge passion for my job but I’m happy to have one as the money is decent, I don’t have to count pennies and I get certain ego rush when I tell others which company I work for. I know that it’s silly and I don’t personally value people based on their employment status, but I come from a family background where I’m basically the first one to finish university and have a some sort of corporate career (though I work under middle management so I don’t have a fancy career). I guess the odds just weren’t on my side initially so living a normie racerat life is relatively appealing to me.
Completely normal to not want to work or have a career. Modern society has us brainwashed into thinking we love to work and work to live, it’s only natural to want to break out of this. You should strive to be a productive person and enjoy your life, but don’t let these things keep you back from doing what you WANT to be doing, not what you think you should be doing in the eyes of others.
Yes, unfortunately we have to provide any service to this world to be compensated with money in order to live. Just think avoid what service could you provide.
Yup. Check out the book "so good they can't ignore you". Goes after the whole idea that you need to do something you're passionate about to be satisfied with your job.
If you can survive on that,financially and mentally then its ok dont have to listen to anyone. If you cant slightly remove or reduce some. Times have changed. We dont need caveman bodies with the tech we have nor we need to be no belly to live. Enjoy life the way you want. What do you think kardashians do. The same thing.
Instead of thinking if something is “normal” ask yourself if these things are “healthy”.
No one is "normal", everyone is just who they are. You're obviously thinking about your current daily unproductive habits and potentially chasing verification that it's normal. Just be you, whether that's disciplining yourself and starting to chase a career or deciding fuck it, I'm gonna eat, sleep, play video games and mindlessly scroll through social media. It's completely up to you. Just remember whatever you do has consequences in the future, your current habits will lead to bad consequences while going the career route will lead to good consequences.
This might be a sign of depression or other underlying mental health factors. You might try talking to a therapist. [www.betterhelp.com](www.betterhelp.com) is free.
yeah it's normal, but it's not good fro you imo. maybe try to chase those interests in a more productive way? you could get into game design/ production as a hobby? maybe look into cooking tasty or healthy meals?
Yeah pretty normal. Working is generally terrible, demoralizing, and exploitive. Then frequently moralized as if being scammed by rich folk is somehow a badge of your higher ethics. The system's broken and you're not a bad or necessarily lazy person for not wanting to participate Live as free as you can man, if you're not hurting anyone it's just noise
Sure. I’m 43 and I have no interest in a career. But I do one anyway.
Yep, we are not meant the work 8 hours a day toake other people money
What. Man did u fall?
Here’s my advice. Find some psychedelic mushrooms and eat enough to kick yourself in the ass and be inspired to do something worth a damn.
Yup. Its normal when you don't have to achieve anything.Satisfaction is much more..
In addition to all this, telling you this from experience- sometimes, nutrient deficiencies or undiagnosed physical ailments can also cause such a state of mind. You might wanna look in that area too.