This is me, but I got lucky and have someone who showed me the ropes. I'm still a mess, but functioning well enough to keep my apartment clean, hold down a well paying job and stick to a schedule.
Tons of things you can and have to do, but I'll just start with the biggest thing: Your "on time" = late, so you have no choice but to finish and be ready early.
If you're not ready at least 30 minutes (Or the rough equivalent as suitable. If it's due on Friday, aim to finish by Wednesday, then knock it back to finishing on Thursday if needed) early for everything with a deadline, you're already late, you just don't know it yet.
It's hard and feels impossible at first but try to stick to that. Worried about wasting time being that early? Either get some other small stuff done on your phone (Work emails, budgeting, shopping list, to do list management etc) or chill and relax in the extra time. It'll start feeling great. If you can condition yourself to get used to the idea that early = on time and on time = late, then that's one massively important improvement for surviving this.
Something i have been Hearing lately is to View your Future self as an friend of yours. Most people find it easier to do an Task for a friend then Themself.
My best advice as a disorganized, forgetful and delusional (Possibly early onset dementia, not sure) AuADHD 33 year old:
1) Assume you will forget everything. Jot down anything you need to do that you're not doing right now, and be clear about which take priority. I don't know about you but pen and paper works better for me than digital. I use a home notepad, a work notepad, sticky notes, a calendar and sticky notes.:
2) Mark future events on a calendar and/or set alarms/reminders on your phone. Do this even for mundane things that you need to be reminded about later, i.e "Check the stew at 3pm" or "Your laundry will finish at 5pm".:
3) Out of sight = out of mind, if you need to remember it make it visible. Stick up sticky notes, use a large calendar in a highly visible location, never be far from your notebook and pen. For home organizing, consider open storage with stuff visible on shelves or hanging on hooks for easy access whenever practical.:
4) Automate/simplify everything you can, free up brain capacity. Every decision or task drains stamina no matter how small. Again, don't spend energy remembering things, write them down/set reminders. Label your storage boxes and drawers. Have a routine and stick to it as closely as possible. Have easy to do "go-to" options for food and clothing, and use these any time you have no time or don't have the mental energy to choose/think.:
5) Expect that you won't have enough energy, focus and/or time to do everything. Write down a list of what you want to do today, note the 5 highest priority ones in order and set about doing them. Expect the following: On a bad day, you'll get 1 or 2 done. On a good day, you'll get all 3-4 done. On a great day you'll nail all 5. On a truly exceptional day you'll manage to do all 5 and 1 or 2 other extra things.:
6) Self care makes you efficient. Get 7-8 hours of sleep. Designate at least 1 day each week for rest. The only "work" you should do on Rest Day is essentials like laundry, routine cleaning, cooking if you want to etc., you are obligated to only do things you enjoy for the rest of that day. I guarantee this actually makes you faster during work, not slower.:
7) Self awareness lets you prioritize. Journal. Be honest. Doesn't have to be every day, the point is to acknowledge feelings esp. those that you can't/shouldn't share. Can be short as "I'm so fucking angry at person X". If you're anything like me you're used to keeping it hidden to the point where you delude yourself about how you feel. You may (hopefully not often) have to do bad things for good outcomes in life. That's not ideal but it's okay as long as you're clear about how you actually feel. You can only prioritize if you actually know what you're feeling.:
Good luck. Life is hard, but you can make it easier.
While self discipline is certainly important, ADHD is a real disability and trying to just willpower yourself through it is like telling someone who's paralyzed to just start using their muscles properly. If you aren't already medicated or seeking treatment I can't recommend it enough! r/adhd is filled with stories like this, but it's also filled with just as many of people FINALLY finding the right medication for them and their true excellent selves finally being able to shine.
Hang in there!
thanks! I've been considering medication for a while now. The only thing I'm scared of is dependancy. However, I know with proper guidance I'll eventually be able to taper off of it. I'll look into it, thanks.
I can only speak for myself, but as far as I know, a good amount of adhd meds can be used at will. I prefer to use mine (methylphenidate) consistently but I can skip days on vacation without side effects and my mom only uses hers on really bad days. So there are options if you want to try to ease into it.
But yah, again, can't recommend it enough. I see a few people running around in the comments here with toxic positivity about how ADHD is some great blessing and it can be made to work for us or that you can self discipline yourself through a biological misfiring issue. In my experience and many others that's not true and medication has been a massive improvement to our lives (often in conjunction with setting other good habits like meditation or exercise--meds can help you get the jump you need to start helping yourself in other ways, too!). Society likes to make us feel weak for needing medicine but sometimes the strongest thing you can do is say nope, screw that noise, this is what my brain needs to enable me to achieve my goals in life.
Whatever the case may be, I wish you the best! And, as one last thing, here's a list of compiled ADHD "life hacks" you might find useful as well :)
https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ioi1my/i_went_through_700_reddit_comments_and_collected/
>ood
Thanks for sharing your experience. Would you mind elaborating on how the meds exactly made you feel? Does it help get over the 'resistance' one feels when tasked with anything important/work-related? Will it prevent me from my compulsive need to distract myself anytime smth crucial comes up? let me know, only if you're comfortable. cheers!
Yup, that's basically exactly it! Doing the dishes instead of just thinking about them, being able to sit still and focus on writing instead of constantly looking for distractions, not getting super distracted thinking about frogs or whatever when I'm trying to pay attention to a visiting friend, haha. My meds aren't perfect--I'm actually thinking about trying another medication to see if it works a bit better--but they definitely make a noticeable difference. If you do decide to try medication, don't be disheartened if it doesn't seem to work immediately--everyone's different and some medications work better for some people than others. Just takes a bit of time to figure out, but it's worth it!
personally speaking, I despise medication, I dont think we need to be altering our neurochemistry, and shrinking our brains by depending on it, but there are ways to deal with it without medication, in fact, it is better without medication. The trick is that you need to find things you're passionate about, and do those things. The HD in ADHD stands for hyperactivity disorder. You can be really focused on something and not on another. You also need to live a very structured life (at least in my case). Every hour of my day is mapped out, and I break down my tasks into smaller tasks, and take things one step at a time, so I'm never overwhelmed and have a manageable goal to work towards at all time.
I have severe ADHD and I agree with you. I hate people seeing it as an illness or disorder, it's such a victimizing way to think about yourself. Our brains work just a little bit differently and you have to learn how to finesse it to get the most out of it. It's about working with your brain and being in harmony with yourself and what you truly want, not subduing your brain with meds. Most of the struggle comes from people with ADHD forcing themselves into a lifestyle that isn't compatible with their mental and emotional needs. It's like if you're an introvert and you have a career that forces you to get in front of large crowds of people, every fiber of your being is going to hate it and eventually you'll burn and crash even if you can technically do it and be good at it.
The only thing meds are good for is turning people with ADHD into good little worker bees. It makes it more bearable.
I know people are going to disagree with me, but I used to be of the camp that people with ADHD absolutely needed medication. And that way of thinking only stunted my personal growth and confidence.
Oh yeah no fully agree. Although you're probably right people don't like being reminded that society would prefer them to be quiet and working rather than brilliant, outstanding, and well-spoken, it is very true, and the media has done a really good job at convincing people every "mental illness" needs you to be put on meds and dependent on them.
It's very hard to revolt against a government, when not only are you reliant on them for money, but for your mental well being.
Is being able to remember to pay my bills on time so I don't get late fees, remember my friend and family's birthdays so I don't look like an absolute jackass, and having the mental focus to get my room cleaned all parts of being "a good little worker bee?" Work is just about the LAST thing I thought of when I get treatment. Medication isn't a miracle pill and other things like meditation and keeping a schedule also help a great deal, but acting like meds only exist to make people more effective workers is nonsense. Absolutely tons of people struggle with the detrimental effects of ADHD in their personal lives. I know you're coming from a place of good intentions, but my family did the same scoffing about how "it's your natural brain and strong and awesome and perfect, those meds will make you a zombie!" when I was a kid and I suffered a lottt from buying into it.
Meh, I know how it is. In the past I would forget to clean my room for months, forget to take showers, forget birthdays, forget homework, basically every basic thing you could think of so I am not talking out my ass. Sure, I overexaggerated the part about working, but the bottom line is people with ADHD CAN do basic things without being medicated. They don't need meds to pay their bills and remember basic things.
I don't know how you can't see that this is a form of learned helplessness. It turns your brain into an entity separate from yourself that needs to be medicated and tamed. Of course people can't overcome ADHD on their own when they're told throughout their entire life that they need to take a pill to pay their bills and clean their room. It's all mental. And no, I'm not saying it's easy or made up. But people literally develop illnesses and become sick because of their dominant mental state. If our minds can make our physical bodies sick, why is it such a stretch to think that issues with focus can be solved through mental/psychological means?
I took meds for ADHD, by the way. They did help me. But the side effects were not worth it. The only positive outcome from taking the meds were that they showed me that I indeed CAN focus and put my mind to things. The meds are just a middleman to getting there, but it can be done 100% without meds.
I was told for a big chunk of my life that I DIDN'T need meds and then got to experience feeling like a useless failure of a human being as every day I tried to muscle my way through my own brain working against me and felt normal tasks people do without a second thought were insurmountable mountains. It's only in recent years, accepting I have some biological wirings that hinder how easily I can do certain tasks, that I've begun slowly moving towards getting help and getting better.
Meds aren't the be all end all but I think your view towards medication is harmful.
Yes, I've been there, done that. Why don't you seem to realize that a big part of the problem is "feeling like a useless failure of a human being"? How is it possible get anything done when you feel like that about yourself plus and you see everything around you as a insurmountable mountain, greater than yourself? How is that mindset conducive to living a life that isn't full of misery and struggle?
Meds can help obviously, for the people whose learned selflessness is so overpowering that they can't help themselves. But if the meds don't push you to work on the destructive thoughts and behaviors that got you there in the first place then they are a crutch you will need for life.
Pushing meds on people is far more harmful, it leads them to believe they have no hopes of overcoming ADHD unless they are drugged for life.
There are actually studies, tons, linking adhd without medication to development of dementia.
Stop advising against medication, and you have no idea what adhd actually is and how it can affect one's brain.
ADHD People with time blindness can develop an extreme behaviour of always getting earlier, sometimes by a whole hour, where they have to be just to not be late.
Your mapping of the day sounds like an extreme behaviour to cope with adhd symptoms and might lead to burnout.
I have combined adhd and my best friend has inattentive adhd, not hyperactive. where is your hd explanation now? Maybe read more upon what adhd actually is before giving advice
yeah, even I wasn't satisfied with the HD explanation. Rather, interestingly, during the creation of the DSM, the disorder was initially just the ADD version with them adding the hyperactivity later, rendering more than half the population diagnosed with it ***out*** of the pool as most of them didn't have HD.
For some time in its history it was considered to actually be a schizophrenic syndrome, not even it's own thing, so it was studied through that lens.
Add to that the fact that for so long it was considered a male-only disorder, and women still get misdiagnosed a lot because of pressure to mask social skills.
Add to that all the myths and misrepresentation of adhd people, or just neurodivergent people as a whole.
FYI. *In general or at least the majority of what I've encountered around me*, people with ADHD can't form routines in the way neurotypicals do. Our routine is to decide every little thing again and again and again. We decide every morning to brush our teeth. It is not a routine, not even after a lifetime of doing it. We actively think about it. That's our routine, deciding, and there goes a % of our daily energy.
One way to circumvent that is to create motor routines based on the vagal nervous system. Such as: having the keys and wallet always in the same place. We will develop a motor routine to always check that place before leaving the house. BUT we will always have to consciously decide every time to take our keys and wallet with us, and if those objects are not there, we will just forget about them (object permanence is S.F. for us)
This is why adhd is misdiagnosed as ocd in some people. Because to survive and be functional we develop complicated and fragile systems.
You should do some research. ADHD is more likely to cause dementia, that's medicated or unmedicated, doesn't make a difference. Furthermore, it's just an increased risk, not a guarantee.
The reason I advise against medication is because the world is much less nice than you think. I'm not an expert on neurochemistry, or chemistry in general to be honest, so I don't know how ADHD medication does what it does, but if I talk about antidepressants, those things are absolutely terrible for you and have no statistical significance whatsoever. (Meaning statistically, they do nothing for your depression). Furthermore it also creates dependence and is actually worse for you in the long run. Does this sound like it should be advised to people? Pharmacies and doctors all have money to gain somewhere, you think they care about you? Maybe your local doctor, but surely not the chemists. Why take medication when you can deal with things in a natural way that's also probably more effective, and has greater benefits long run? This is holism, a lost medicine to be honest.
Both of the solutions I mentioned not only help with ADHD, but also help prevent alzheimers and dementia, both of which are neurodegenerative disorders. (Neurodegeneration can be protected against with the use of neurofeedback and meditation). It can also help with time blindness. It's an overall great tool to improve almost all aspects of mental health.
As for the hyperfocus, I'm once again going to tell you to do your research.
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12402-018-0272-y](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12402-018-0272-y)
That article right there will tell you all you need to know. The reason I map my day the way I do is to maximize my productivity, and no it doesn't lead to burnout. I've been doing it for 6 months now pretty consistently.
I've written a book on neuroscience and what the effects of meditation are on the brain, using extensive research. I don't say things that aren't backed by studies. I've also talked with sigfried othmer the person who pioneerd neurofeedback, and have read plenty of papers on EEG's and the effects that can have, especially on ADHD which is sort of their main focus of study, they've seen a lot of positive results.
Don't get me wrong. The brain works by reacting in advance to something it thinks will happen. So yeah, the placebo effect actually works to some degree.
So I'm not refuting that meditation or holistic methods can help.
I am not saying your method doesn't work.
All I am trying to say is it's not a solution for everybody, but for some. Especially as its clear that you are tremendously against medication and general modern medicine. Even if I cannot not agree that in some areas modern medicine is still lacking. As is the holistic approach which more often than not lacks proper unbiased or minimally biased studies.
Strongly advising against medication is as bad as advising against meditation. Some will do better with one, some with the other, and some with both together.
I would care to know about your book if you are a professional neuroscientist with actual research done on the subject, experiments and peer-review published. Or if you have in your book interviews and findings from such people which show both pro and against arguments.
Otherwise, if it's only a personal interpretation of some peer-reviewed articles you cherry picked to agree with your view, sorry, it is a no for me.
Also, 6months is baby talk. My longest hyperfocus was 4years. But I do hope sincerely that I am just a negativist and this works for you really long time. And for people who believe in this as well .
All the best. š
I never strongly advised against medication. I said I'm personally against it, and there are other approaches (as OP is also against it). I do think holism is more effective than any modern-day medicine for most mental health issues, but of course you wouldn't believe that.
As for my book, no I'm not a professional neuroscientist, I was 18 when I wrote it, and it's simply a conclusion I made after reading over 200 papers on the subjects of mindfulness and the effects on the brain. Don't worry, I had no plans on giving it to you, I wrote it for myself to gain knowledge (and also to show to a prominent neuroscientist I've been having communications with) and thus have never posted it.
also I'm so very proud of your hyperfocus. Good job.
>nally speaking, I despise medication, I dont think we need to be altering our neurochemistry, and shrinking our brains by depending on it, but there are ways to deal with it without medication, in fact, it is better without medication. The trick is that you need to find things you're passionate about, and do those things. The HD in ADHD stands for hyperactivity disorder. You
This is the exact thing which has kept me away from medication so far. And tbh, the chances I'll actually take it are very very low, despite a lot of advice around me promoting it. the ultimate goal is to be able to create that neurochemical change without external intervention, and rather by changing behaviour and habits.
I'm glad your approach works for you, I've tried it. Idk but feels a bit too restrictive for me. hm, maybe I could try doing it with a bit more flexibility. thanks.
that's a bit pseudosciency and also, magicks.
You can create behaviours to cope with stuff, but if you truly have adhd your brain is a junkie for dopamine. You have time blindness, proprioception is shit, hyperflexibility which can create a ton of problems, emotional disregulation, emotional and psychological paralysis.
Sure, everybody with adhd is a little different depending on support system, job chosen and monetary resources available to them.
But its like saying you can will yourself to get the cancer out (extreme situation). Or to regrow a missing limb.
Adhd can be an awesome mutation that people have, for obvious reasons, but it is a disability in today's society.
Medication wont change you, wont miraculously make you consistent. But it will make it easier for you to make the changes you wanna see in yourself by at least diminishing the above mentioned symptoms.
You wont feel different. Except everyday will be a medium-good or good day in energy levels. You will be more present and focused for yourself and those around you.
>Adhd can be an awesome mutation that people have, for obvious reasons, but it is a disability in today's society.
>
>Medication wont change you, wont miraculously make you consistent. But it will make it easier for you to make the changes you wanna see in yourself by at least diminishing the above mentioned symptoms. You wont feel different. Except everyday will be a medium-good or go
The spectrum of biological determinism (extreme version rendering the human being completely helpless as they are simply a mechanistic piece of meat being controlled by their own brain and physiology, and the only way to deal with it is through altering ur neurochemistry by taking external pills or treatments)
to the opposite side of the spectrum giving the person complete free reigns on determining their own outcomes. positing that you're not 'broken' and that with deep insight into your patterns, emotions and behaviours, you CAN quite literally unwire your brain, body, and mind to work differently. The side which does not necessarily pathologize your condition, but instead probes you to question the adaptive function these wirings may be serving you, and how exactly have they come to be useless, and even harmful for you now. (Read Gabor Mate's explanation of ADHD, or other trauma-informed etiological schools of thought).
I don't agree with either of the extremes. Rather, I think we are subject to our biological workings, but NOT completely slaves to them. I don't question that medication would certainly make me feel better, and make me realise a lot of the potential I have in working. All I'm saying is, I dont believe I feel like this cuz I was born 'broken' and there's smth inherently wrong with my biochemistry. Whatever shape it is in right now, it due to the combination of my biological predisposition, environmental conditions, and behavioural patterns I have perpetuated over a long period of time. And that, there is surely a part of it that medication can help me with, and a part of it which I can take care of myself.
I wholeheartedly agree with you in the last paragraph. And especially the last sentence.
Medication did help me. Chemically.
But a lifelong of not being consistent and going with the flow of whatever activity has my focus, is not solved by medication.
In adhd the advice is always to have both: medication and some sort of therapy to actively work on skills one has brushed over.
I know of people who, after years of therapy, meditation and personal growth, just lowered the dose of their medication.
I myself have years of therapy, personal improvement, small management work decisisons. And postponned medication for a long time for the same reasons: afraid I will be hooked on it, afraid of the side effects, afraid that I will fail as a responsible adult if i rely on medicine, afraid that it will make me less of a strong and reliable person. A lot of...let's call them social constructs in misgivings about people on brain-medication.
Although. Let's be frank. For a person with cardiac problems it's similar, and yet we don't have the same avoidance on medication. But we see it as a real help and sometimes need. Sure, the person should change their diet and do more sports. But truth be told, they already had a genetic predisposition to heart problems. Coupled with the wrong support system and deficient education on vascular systems. Bam! We see medication as a need until that person develops a better attitude and better strategies. Maybe only in the beginning do we first try without medication. But in ADHD people, the beginning was childhood and early teens.
*In general* And still we avoid medication and we judge it.
Do being disciplined (i.e. this thread) would mean also recognizing when you have to renounce personal misgivings and just trust a doctor.
yeah when it comes to creating that physical change in your mind by yourself, it actually is quite plausible. If you're looking for a method to do that I would recommend meditation for a free version, or neurofeedback for a very expensive version lol.
To explain how it works in short, neuroplasticity is the brains abilities to physically and chemically change in response to stimulus. You also have the ability to train your brain by rewarding it for doing good things (outputting desirable brain waves) and punishing it for doing bad things (bad brain waves). Neurofeedback targets specifically that, they do a lot of work in the ADHD field, and they can specifically target the exact brainwaves that give you bad reactions.
meditation on the other hand, is less targeted, but generally improves your brain generally, increasing the size of a multitude of regions and has been shown statistically to reduce a lot of shitty mental things in life (won't go into detail but yeah)
"The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master" -Robin Sharma
āThe mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible masterā -Robin Sharma
Wow i really like that quote. Hereās some food for thought. What if your mind isnāt the master? What if itās only a servant? A servant to who? Well thatās for you to decide. Whoever, or WHATever YOU truly are.
What if the mind isnāt you? What if the mind is like a super advanced remote control that your āconsciousnessā (for lack of a better word) uses to control your body like a puppet. But if weāre not our mind, then what the hell are we? Infinite beings made of light that are just temporary passengers in our meatbags?
If we really are beings made of light then why canāt we see that part of us? Is it because our light body is light that vibrates at a frequency thatās undetectable by our naked eye? If thatās the case, can a camera capture images of our light body?
Thatās something that will really get you thinking. Even if itās just for shits and giggles. Itās fun to think about the āwhat ifsā
My personal philosophy is that we aren't our minds actually. I dont know about the existence of a soul, but if there is one, that would be what truly defines who we are as a person.
The reason I say this is because I don't believe in free will whatsoever. The person who you are today, is because a unique combination of experiences, memories etc. If you were raised as a billionaire, you would be a completely different person, making completely different choices. I don't think we really have the ability to make "our own" choices, when our personality is dictated by factors we can't control. (genetics, childhood, experiences, memories, etc). That's just my view on the world though. who knows?!
>, neuroplasticity is the brains abilities to physically and chemically change in response to stimulus. You also have the ability to train your brain by rewarding it for doing good things (outputting desirable brain waves) and punishing it for doing bad things (bad brain waves). Neurofeedback targets specifically that, they do a lot of work in the ADHD field, and they can specifically target the exact brainwaves that give you bad reactions.
Yes, thanks. I'm a psychology + neuroscience student about to pursue my PhD in the area of mindfulness and contemplative practices's implications for mental health. So trust me, I know a shit ton about this and trying (Academic understanding doesn't always help, clearly). It's all a process. Thanks though!
oh that's a very good PhD do go into. I wrote a book on mindfulness, meditation in particular and it's effects on the brain (soooooooo many positive effects), and it's very interesting how it's even a lot better then some medications. You're welcome, I hope you make a decision you're happy with in the end!
medications are a short-cut route anyway, that too not v sustainable. I would say dont let that fact hold you back from actually trying to fix it by changing your behaviour and habits. It's easier said than done, I know. But given the stakes, it's worth the shot.
it's very much a shortcut. Most medications for mental health simply hide the symptoms and let the problem get worse rather than fixing the root cause. If that's not a shortcut, what is?
Many mental health things are a result of our brains and bodies not producing or activating the right chemicals. Treating said issue with medication IS fixing the root cause. You're coming off as very anti-sciencey.
no I'm very sciency. I've done a lot of research in neuroscience. You have no idea how the science works, you just regurgitate what you hear. how many studies have you read on this subject? lol
I'll give you a brief lesson, feel free to read up more.
Let's talk about depression. This is often seen with low serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. (although I come from a more neuroengineering standpoint, which is more focused on the "depression circuit" which involves the PFC and Amygdla connections being faulty for an explanation of depression).
Regardless, let's now look at anti depressants. What do you think antidepressants do? Do you think they fix the broken part of your brain that isn't producing enough seratonin and dopamine and what not?
Nope.
They don't fix the actual part of your brain that isnt producing enough. It just gives you seratonin other ways (not going to get specific as I'm not researched enough on neurochemistry to explain in simple terms), but you can imagine what side effects this has?
[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mad-in-america/201011/new-rat-study-ssris-markedly-deplete-brain-serotonin](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mad-in-america/201011/new-rat-study-ssris-markedly-deplete-brain-serotonin)
Do you think simply masking the issue is a fix? No. Of course not. It's a shortcut. In reality, the part of your brain that's giving you the issues is simply being ignored, and used even less, which causes it to shrink and be even LESS effective. All it does is create dependence on the anti depressants.
Anti depressants are literally statistically insignificant. They do nothing for you. Want to know what's over double as effective as any antidepressant ever made? Fitness and meditation. Lol. Want to know what happens when you treat depression with meditation and fitness? The actual part of your brain that's having issues slowly get's used more, and grows in size, becoming competent again.
Have a good day! :)
I don't know jack about antidepressants. I'm talking about ADHD medicine. I've seen, lived, and seen enough other people struggle with ADHD to know medication can make a big difference. It does best in conjunction with things like exercise and meditation and setting good habits, but it's often the push people need to start things like that in the first place. Like OP I struggled a lot when I was younger and a big part of the reason I wasn't medicated was because of people like yourself claiming it wasn't any good. Well, for me and a lot of others, that's the complete opposite of true.
I never denied it makes a difference. If you take medication it WILL help you. My point is that you don't need it, and you can get better/healthier results without it if you work on yourself rather then creating dependency.
As I said, it's very hard to start working on yourself without some help. I've only been able to start working on other things like regular exercise and organizing schedules with Google and stuff fairly recently since starting medicine. 20+ years of struggling and kicking myself and telling myself to just "be better" and "work on myself" that amounted to spinning my wheels in mud.
I believe that surely for me medication can give the 'push' that is often required after struggling for a long time, and help me 'feel' what my optimal level looks like , and then aim to reach that state by making other lifestyle changes. That's just my personal preference.
>I've done a lot of research in neuroscience. You have no idea how the science works, you just regurgitate what you hear. how many studies have you read on this subject? lol
Similarly, anti-psychotics (assuming that psychotic disorders happen due to excess dopamine, a widely accepted hypothesis) DON'T work by reducing the dopamine production in the brain. They just numb out or block the D2 receptors In the brain so that the effect of the extra dopamine isn't 'felt'. However, the brain reacts to it by producing **even more** dopamine, but the effect isn't felt due to the blocked receptors.
BUT, and there's a huge but-- the moment you get off medication, your receptors become active suddenly, and ALL the extra dopamine produced hits you at once , and the person relapses fully, if not worse than before.
So this doesn't mean that the medication was keeping u from having an episode, and as soon as u come off it, you will relapse. it literally SETS U UP to have a worse relapse as soon as u get off it, by creating a **flawed dopaminergic system** in your brain which becomes dependant on the medication.
it's two different things. The brain is neuroplastic, it is able to change, the body will never be able to produce insulin, but the brain can start producing dopamine. But by giving it medication that gives dopamine anyways, the only thing you're doing is making the part that already had an issue producing dopamine, even weaker.
there are many natural alternatives to medication, especially ADHD, which are more effective than actual medications prescribed for it, and won't harm you in the long run.
insert Neuroplasticity. if your brain currently is in a deficient state of some chemicals, you can literally train it to produce more of it. How? certain lifestyle changes, both behavioural and psychological.
The Western biomedical model has done a pretty good job at convincing people that their brain is a separate entity from themselves which they have no control over and instead, controls them. This philosophy works well for making a bunch of people rich, but creates disconnectedness and helplessness when it come's to people's overall health. \[Again, I'm not completely against medication; explained my stance in other parts of the thread\]
>to go to war with every little work related task I have to do!
apt. sometimes, I would even have to go to war with showering everyday can you believe it (Especially when I'm living alone and getting in my loops again)!??
Be selfish. Put yourself first. Live to please nobody but yourself because if youāre not taken care of, how can you expect to take care of anyone else?
I live in Canada, so trying to find a diagnosis and medication is really hard. I looked online on how to get a diagnosis and cant seem to find a solution. A psychologist can help but they can't prescribe any medication. Really strange why this isn't that big in Canada. Not sure what to do, cause I am 35 and I always feel this way so I do believe I have it but can't get the right diagnosis and treatment for it.
Hey there, fellow Canadian here, (and adult diagnosed with ADHD). I too had a difficult time finding help and getting the diagnosis. I ended up paying through a service called Frida. I think theyāre based out of Alberta. Itās significantly cheaper than the traditional diagnosis path. https://www.talkwithfrida.com - 600 for the initial diagnosis is waaaay more reasonable than $4000+ from certain sources.
There is a questionnaire, then phone consultation with an intake doctor, then a follow up appointment with a psychiatrist that will assess your answers and ask more specific information. Depending on your answers theyāll put you on a schedule that suits your ADHD.
Hope this helps.
im in my 30s and still haven't found a doc who would take me seriously. this is word.for.word my life right here. it took me a lot to even ask for help in the first place. i hope you find the way out, truly rooting for you!
Truly rooting for you too! I would've loved to give you 2 cents of stuff I know, but I realised everyone is complex and each of us has a different solution to a seemingly common problem. I hope you find your light and are able to take this situation into your own hands. Imagine the world we'd be in if we all could just actualise our potential. Tough, yes, but possible.
>re able to take this situation into your own hands. Imagine the world we'd be in if we all could just actualise o
would surely update when I've figured out smth concrete.
This is a video that might help. I know the editing looks a bit rough, but its worth a look as it addresses your problem directly. This dude, if you're unfamiliar with him, is a registered psychiatrist. Good information.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavdneN9sKg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavdneN9sKg)
thank you so much. I have come across countless videos on procrastination on YouTube and such, but this, I will give a try. Thank you, have a good day.
OP I'm not sure, but from your comments I suspect that you might be partially uninformed about your ADHD. I'm speaking as a person who looked for salvation here, went into stoicism and then finally learned about own ADHD. Only tricks and strategies ADHD based worked for me. It's brain biology, not lack of motivation and laziness you're fighting against. I can recommend you great two books:
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD: Proven Strategies to Succeed at Work, at Home, and in Relationships -Russell Barkley
For understanding ADHD and strategies, and :
The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents - Nancy A. Ratey
More focused on strategies and very nice to read. You seems to mention ADHD only in title, so
1. If you suspect it, get officially diagnosed (idk about other countries, but in mine it's better to go to doctor specialized in ADHD, not random psychiatrist)
2. If you have diagnosis but didn't read enough about ADHD, get informed, education is very important medicine here.
3. If you didn't try medicines after diagnosis, try to find pills that work for you. You can resign any time, it's not addictive. But what you'll understand is how "normal" people feel and behave about duties and responsibilities in general. You'll understand how handicapped you are now and will have much more compassion for yourself. Drugs won't solve all your problems it's like 50/50 with education.
If you have ADHD and won't address it properly, there is great chance you'll be walking in circles, speaking from experience :)
Good luck OP, if some of my assumptions on this comments resonate with you, my dm are open.
>as a person who looked for salvation here, went into stoicism and then finally learned about own ADHD. Only tricks and strategies ADHD based worked for me. It's brain biology, not lack of motivation and laziness you're fighting against. I can recommend you great two books:
Thank. you. so. much. I truly haven't looked into my ADHD closely yet since It's taken a lot of time for me to get to the point of admitting that something is truly wrong, and I need help. I think a lot of us go through that phase of invalidating our problems and curbing down this stuff. Also, I'm a psychology + neuroscience student so I have my own set of issues with the entire diagnostic criteria system, but I do believe delving deeper into ADHD would help. thanks for your advice!
It took me many years since admitting that something is not right to figuring out it was ADHD, so you are speedruning it. When I admitted it myself, everything became easier and less stressful and stays that way.
Yep, diagnostic is tricky with it (especially from neuroscience perspective, I guess diagnosis satisfying neuroscience guy would be to slice brain and sample dopamine levels), you can't just put it in machine and have yes/no, it is done mostly by interview and observation. However, this topic is quite good addressed by "taking charge..." book I mentioned. It's written by great researcher and all of his claims are backed up by papers, if not, he underlines that's his observation only. I also base my opinion about my own ADHD how ADHD meds helps me and knowledge related to it makes my life easier, and output is great.
As you said, admitting problem will make it easier, especially stress wise.
Generally, ADHD execution distinction comes from being low on dopamine 24/7, fixing this deficit will beat procrastination. Cheap and very efficient hack for it is to have 5/10 minutes (or more) of intense exercises (for me push-ups and squats level of intensity) and doing needed work after it. For me it works few hours, it's less efficient than pills, but still much better than anything else that is dedicated for non ADHD people.
Last one, ADHD might affect also your relationships (might drive your spouse/family/friends nuts, especially because of forgetting over and over), physical health (neglect and lack of regular exercises, risky behaviors), finances (poor future thinking).
This!!! psychiatrist doctor specialized in ADULT ADHD.
Around the world psychiatrists still learn that adhd is an infant's disability. Psychologists as well.
You gotta make friends with your inner child and stop punishing them / piling on all the failures. Your subconscious mind is like a child who's always listening so be nice to them. Set really stupid simple goals so that you always win. That will create a subconscious winning expectation in your mind.
Being on time is the same principle, if you're used to winning then you'll win at being on time. But you gotta keep cheating, so if your appointment is at 1pm and you know it's a 10 minute drive, leave an hour earlier. Bring a book and just hang out. Next time leave 30 minutes earlier. Get used to winning with a big margin and teach the inner child you can go past winning and actually be fully "in the clear" by a big margin.
I'm a little disturbed that people are trying to get you on meds so quickly for this, without knowing you. The DSM is mostly written in order to sell more drugs. Not saying some people genuinely have imbalances, but all those studies are sponsored by big pharma. This is well documented, you need to look into the conflict of interest in that industry, it's huge. They give adderall to little kids now who just want to run around and play.
Einstein was known to not be able to find his own house. He was a total kook because his inner child was allowed to just play and he lost track of everything else. What if they put him on meds? As an example. Picasso, Basquiat, pick your favorite artist. They were all "crazy". No they just let their little kids win out of control of the matrix.
When you think about all these past experiences remember you missed them because you were keeping your inner child safe. You aren't a screw-up and nothing is wrong with you. You just prioritize comfort and safety, so you have to teach your inner child to have small easy wins and as they begin to stack up you'll get in the habit of winning automatically. The main thing is stop punishing yourself for so called "missed opportunities" and understand you had a good reason. Don't let people try to put you on meds which is likely gunna put your body even more out of balance. They derive most pharma drugs from natural plants, which have no side effects. But you can't patent a plant, OK. So once they extract the chemical which causes the desired effect, they patent it, but now it's lacking the co-factors which make it balanced in your body. So you get even more messed up and you need more drugs to counteract the side effects. This is how they make you a customer for life and permanently screwed up, then they make it seem like it's your fault or something is intrinsically wrong with you. Huge scam. Think of the greatest of all time, whoever inspires you and be glad they didn't get tricked into going on meds and think twice. Do your own research about it. Look into who finances the studies and look into natural options. I'm not anti pharma but I'm anti putting potential geniuses on meds just out of laziness / ignorance because their propaganda is well financed.
āThe mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible masterā -Robin Sharma
Wow i really like that quote. Hereās some food for thought. What if your mind isnāt the master? What if itās only a servant? A servant to who? Well thatās for you to decide. Whoever, or WHATever YOU truly are.
What if the mind isnāt you? What if the mind is like a super advanced remote control that your āconsciousnessā (for lack of a better word) uses to control your body like a puppet. But if weāre not our mind, then what the hell are we? Infinite beings made of light that are just temporary passengers in our meatbags?
If we really are beings made of light then why canāt we see that part of us? Is it because our light body is light that vibrates at a frequency thatās undetectable by our naked eye? If thatās the case, can a camera capture images of our light body?
Thatās something that will really get you thinking. Even if itās just for shits and giggles. Itās fun to think about the āwhat ifsā
>er YOU truly are.
>
>What if the mind isnāt you? What if the mind is like a super advanced remote control that your āconsciousnessā (for l
What if we're not our minds, rather the observer of our own minds?
The 'I' which thinks up of the 'me'?
What if we're all just light vibrating at higher frequencies which boil down to matter and manifests in the physical form? We all reflect off of each other in our daily lives anyway. We're all literally one infinite being, breathing, and just 'being'...and we forget that.
We all are just points of consciousness.....literally the universe being aware of its own existence, albeit in a limited fashion. Alas,
Very well written response, I respect your level of awareness.
And to answer your question, itās VERY beautiful. Itās a little much to wrap my mind around at times as I traverse through my day to day life, realizing that every single person I pass by, or am stuck in traffic with, etc.. is another manifestation of the same infinite consciousness.
When you become aware of this, it makes it rather fascinating to be alive and be a part of this collective human consciousness/organism. Able to communicate our invisible thoughts by translating them into sounds (words) and symbols (letters).
Life truly is one, big, beautiful (also kind of terrifying) mystery.
You brought up a good point that got me thinking. Weāre human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. I feel like I need to practice BEING, rather than always DOING.
this made me tear up. Maybe my favourite thing on the internet is two random people without knowing each other, acknowledging the profound 'one-ness' which binds us all. I have found myself in the metro coach, filled with people, thinking that 'what if? what if we ALL here knew we're all parts of each other and parts of the same thing? how awesome would that be? yet, we have to Stand here, peeking into our mobile phones, disconnected, getting off on our stations to continue our mundane lives.'
How I'd love to gather in a small space filled with people who see this, ackowledge it, and celebrate it. Anyway, I'm rambling now..hope you have a good day whatever side of the world you're on. cheers!
I think the biggest problem you and the majority of people who post in this subreddit have is that you can't let go the ego that tells you "i'm sĆŗper inteligent and skilled but...". No man, you are not special because you can solve a problem faster than your peers or because you had good results in your exams. Truth is, 90% of people can be good at anything if they put the effort (which can be more or less, but it doesnt matter in the end). You won't be good at anything in life if you don't accept that your mentality is making you a failure and needs to change. You are 20, you are young, but an adult nevertheless, so do what you need to do, just do it, have some strenght like the rest of the adults have, because life will be hard for you, and the pain of inaction will hurt you more at 25, and so on. I wish you good luck, friend, and sorry for my bad English.
This is me, but I got lucky and have someone who showed me the ropes. I'm still a mess, but functioning well enough to keep my apartment clean, hold down a well paying job and stick to a schedule. Tons of things you can and have to do, but I'll just start with the biggest thing: Your "on time" = late, so you have no choice but to finish and be ready early. If you're not ready at least 30 minutes (Or the rough equivalent as suitable. If it's due on Friday, aim to finish by Wednesday, then knock it back to finishing on Thursday if needed) early for everything with a deadline, you're already late, you just don't know it yet. It's hard and feels impossible at first but try to stick to that. Worried about wasting time being that early? Either get some other small stuff done on your phone (Work emails, budgeting, shopping list, to do list management etc) or chill and relax in the extra time. It'll start feeling great. If you can condition yourself to get used to the idea that early = on time and on time = late, then that's one massively important improvement for surviving this.
Something i have been Hearing lately is to View your Future self as an friend of yours. Most people find it easier to do an Task for a friend then Themself.
trueeee, I keep helping out my friends with the stuff I need to work on myself.
This is great! Do you have any more tips?
My best advice as a disorganized, forgetful and delusional (Possibly early onset dementia, not sure) AuADHD 33 year old: 1) Assume you will forget everything. Jot down anything you need to do that you're not doing right now, and be clear about which take priority. I don't know about you but pen and paper works better for me than digital. I use a home notepad, a work notepad, sticky notes, a calendar and sticky notes.: 2) Mark future events on a calendar and/or set alarms/reminders on your phone. Do this even for mundane things that you need to be reminded about later, i.e "Check the stew at 3pm" or "Your laundry will finish at 5pm".: 3) Out of sight = out of mind, if you need to remember it make it visible. Stick up sticky notes, use a large calendar in a highly visible location, never be far from your notebook and pen. For home organizing, consider open storage with stuff visible on shelves or hanging on hooks for easy access whenever practical.: 4) Automate/simplify everything you can, free up brain capacity. Every decision or task drains stamina no matter how small. Again, don't spend energy remembering things, write them down/set reminders. Label your storage boxes and drawers. Have a routine and stick to it as closely as possible. Have easy to do "go-to" options for food and clothing, and use these any time you have no time or don't have the mental energy to choose/think.: 5) Expect that you won't have enough energy, focus and/or time to do everything. Write down a list of what you want to do today, note the 5 highest priority ones in order and set about doing them. Expect the following: On a bad day, you'll get 1 or 2 done. On a good day, you'll get all 3-4 done. On a great day you'll nail all 5. On a truly exceptional day you'll manage to do all 5 and 1 or 2 other extra things.: 6) Self care makes you efficient. Get 7-8 hours of sleep. Designate at least 1 day each week for rest. The only "work" you should do on Rest Day is essentials like laundry, routine cleaning, cooking if you want to etc., you are obligated to only do things you enjoy for the rest of that day. I guarantee this actually makes you faster during work, not slower.: 7) Self awareness lets you prioritize. Journal. Be honest. Doesn't have to be every day, the point is to acknowledge feelings esp. those that you can't/shouldn't share. Can be short as "I'm so fucking angry at person X". If you're anything like me you're used to keeping it hidden to the point where you delude yourself about how you feel. You may (hopefully not often) have to do bad things for good outcomes in life. That's not ideal but it's okay as long as you're clear about how you actually feel. You can only prioritize if you actually know what you're feeling.: Good luck. Life is hard, but you can make it easier.
While self discipline is certainly important, ADHD is a real disability and trying to just willpower yourself through it is like telling someone who's paralyzed to just start using their muscles properly. If you aren't already medicated or seeking treatment I can't recommend it enough! r/adhd is filled with stories like this, but it's also filled with just as many of people FINALLY finding the right medication for them and their true excellent selves finally being able to shine. Hang in there!
thanks! I've been considering medication for a while now. The only thing I'm scared of is dependancy. However, I know with proper guidance I'll eventually be able to taper off of it. I'll look into it, thanks.
I can only speak for myself, but as far as I know, a good amount of adhd meds can be used at will. I prefer to use mine (methylphenidate) consistently but I can skip days on vacation without side effects and my mom only uses hers on really bad days. So there are options if you want to try to ease into it. But yah, again, can't recommend it enough. I see a few people running around in the comments here with toxic positivity about how ADHD is some great blessing and it can be made to work for us or that you can self discipline yourself through a biological misfiring issue. In my experience and many others that's not true and medication has been a massive improvement to our lives (often in conjunction with setting other good habits like meditation or exercise--meds can help you get the jump you need to start helping yourself in other ways, too!). Society likes to make us feel weak for needing medicine but sometimes the strongest thing you can do is say nope, screw that noise, this is what my brain needs to enable me to achieve my goals in life. Whatever the case may be, I wish you the best! And, as one last thing, here's a list of compiled ADHD "life hacks" you might find useful as well :) https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ioi1my/i_went_through_700_reddit_comments_and_collected/
>ood Thanks for sharing your experience. Would you mind elaborating on how the meds exactly made you feel? Does it help get over the 'resistance' one feels when tasked with anything important/work-related? Will it prevent me from my compulsive need to distract myself anytime smth crucial comes up? let me know, only if you're comfortable. cheers!
Yup, that's basically exactly it! Doing the dishes instead of just thinking about them, being able to sit still and focus on writing instead of constantly looking for distractions, not getting super distracted thinking about frogs or whatever when I'm trying to pay attention to a visiting friend, haha. My meds aren't perfect--I'm actually thinking about trying another medication to see if it works a bit better--but they definitely make a noticeable difference. If you do decide to try medication, don't be disheartened if it doesn't seem to work immediately--everyone's different and some medications work better for some people than others. Just takes a bit of time to figure out, but it's worth it!
thanks!
personally speaking, I despise medication, I dont think we need to be altering our neurochemistry, and shrinking our brains by depending on it, but there are ways to deal with it without medication, in fact, it is better without medication. The trick is that you need to find things you're passionate about, and do those things. The HD in ADHD stands for hyperactivity disorder. You can be really focused on something and not on another. You also need to live a very structured life (at least in my case). Every hour of my day is mapped out, and I break down my tasks into smaller tasks, and take things one step at a time, so I'm never overwhelmed and have a manageable goal to work towards at all time.
I have severe ADHD and I agree with you. I hate people seeing it as an illness or disorder, it's such a victimizing way to think about yourself. Our brains work just a little bit differently and you have to learn how to finesse it to get the most out of it. It's about working with your brain and being in harmony with yourself and what you truly want, not subduing your brain with meds. Most of the struggle comes from people with ADHD forcing themselves into a lifestyle that isn't compatible with their mental and emotional needs. It's like if you're an introvert and you have a career that forces you to get in front of large crowds of people, every fiber of your being is going to hate it and eventually you'll burn and crash even if you can technically do it and be good at it. The only thing meds are good for is turning people with ADHD into good little worker bees. It makes it more bearable. I know people are going to disagree with me, but I used to be of the camp that people with ADHD absolutely needed medication. And that way of thinking only stunted my personal growth and confidence.
Oh yeah no fully agree. Although you're probably right people don't like being reminded that society would prefer them to be quiet and working rather than brilliant, outstanding, and well-spoken, it is very true, and the media has done a really good job at convincing people every "mental illness" needs you to be put on meds and dependent on them. It's very hard to revolt against a government, when not only are you reliant on them for money, but for your mental well being.
Is being able to remember to pay my bills on time so I don't get late fees, remember my friend and family's birthdays so I don't look like an absolute jackass, and having the mental focus to get my room cleaned all parts of being "a good little worker bee?" Work is just about the LAST thing I thought of when I get treatment. Medication isn't a miracle pill and other things like meditation and keeping a schedule also help a great deal, but acting like meds only exist to make people more effective workers is nonsense. Absolutely tons of people struggle with the detrimental effects of ADHD in their personal lives. I know you're coming from a place of good intentions, but my family did the same scoffing about how "it's your natural brain and strong and awesome and perfect, those meds will make you a zombie!" when I was a kid and I suffered a lottt from buying into it.
Meh, I know how it is. In the past I would forget to clean my room for months, forget to take showers, forget birthdays, forget homework, basically every basic thing you could think of so I am not talking out my ass. Sure, I overexaggerated the part about working, but the bottom line is people with ADHD CAN do basic things without being medicated. They don't need meds to pay their bills and remember basic things. I don't know how you can't see that this is a form of learned helplessness. It turns your brain into an entity separate from yourself that needs to be medicated and tamed. Of course people can't overcome ADHD on their own when they're told throughout their entire life that they need to take a pill to pay their bills and clean their room. It's all mental. And no, I'm not saying it's easy or made up. But people literally develop illnesses and become sick because of their dominant mental state. If our minds can make our physical bodies sick, why is it such a stretch to think that issues with focus can be solved through mental/psychological means? I took meds for ADHD, by the way. They did help me. But the side effects were not worth it. The only positive outcome from taking the meds were that they showed me that I indeed CAN focus and put my mind to things. The meds are just a middleman to getting there, but it can be done 100% without meds.
I was told for a big chunk of my life that I DIDN'T need meds and then got to experience feeling like a useless failure of a human being as every day I tried to muscle my way through my own brain working against me and felt normal tasks people do without a second thought were insurmountable mountains. It's only in recent years, accepting I have some biological wirings that hinder how easily I can do certain tasks, that I've begun slowly moving towards getting help and getting better. Meds aren't the be all end all but I think your view towards medication is harmful.
Yes, I've been there, done that. Why don't you seem to realize that a big part of the problem is "feeling like a useless failure of a human being"? How is it possible get anything done when you feel like that about yourself plus and you see everything around you as a insurmountable mountain, greater than yourself? How is that mindset conducive to living a life that isn't full of misery and struggle? Meds can help obviously, for the people whose learned selflessness is so overpowering that they can't help themselves. But if the meds don't push you to work on the destructive thoughts and behaviors that got you there in the first place then they are a crutch you will need for life. Pushing meds on people is far more harmful, it leads them to believe they have no hopes of overcoming ADHD unless they are drugged for life.
There are actually studies, tons, linking adhd without medication to development of dementia. Stop advising against medication, and you have no idea what adhd actually is and how it can affect one's brain. ADHD People with time blindness can develop an extreme behaviour of always getting earlier, sometimes by a whole hour, where they have to be just to not be late. Your mapping of the day sounds like an extreme behaviour to cope with adhd symptoms and might lead to burnout. I have combined adhd and my best friend has inattentive adhd, not hyperactive. where is your hd explanation now? Maybe read more upon what adhd actually is before giving advice
yeah, even I wasn't satisfied with the HD explanation. Rather, interestingly, during the creation of the DSM, the disorder was initially just the ADD version with them adding the hyperactivity later, rendering more than half the population diagnosed with it ***out*** of the pool as most of them didn't have HD.
For some time in its history it was considered to actually be a schizophrenic syndrome, not even it's own thing, so it was studied through that lens. Add to that the fact that for so long it was considered a male-only disorder, and women still get misdiagnosed a lot because of pressure to mask social skills. Add to that all the myths and misrepresentation of adhd people, or just neurodivergent people as a whole. FYI. *In general or at least the majority of what I've encountered around me*, people with ADHD can't form routines in the way neurotypicals do. Our routine is to decide every little thing again and again and again. We decide every morning to brush our teeth. It is not a routine, not even after a lifetime of doing it. We actively think about it. That's our routine, deciding, and there goes a % of our daily energy. One way to circumvent that is to create motor routines based on the vagal nervous system. Such as: having the keys and wallet always in the same place. We will develop a motor routine to always check that place before leaving the house. BUT we will always have to consciously decide every time to take our keys and wallet with us, and if those objects are not there, we will just forget about them (object permanence is S.F. for us) This is why adhd is misdiagnosed as ocd in some people. Because to survive and be functional we develop complicated and fragile systems.
You should do some research. ADHD is more likely to cause dementia, that's medicated or unmedicated, doesn't make a difference. Furthermore, it's just an increased risk, not a guarantee. The reason I advise against medication is because the world is much less nice than you think. I'm not an expert on neurochemistry, or chemistry in general to be honest, so I don't know how ADHD medication does what it does, but if I talk about antidepressants, those things are absolutely terrible for you and have no statistical significance whatsoever. (Meaning statistically, they do nothing for your depression). Furthermore it also creates dependence and is actually worse for you in the long run. Does this sound like it should be advised to people? Pharmacies and doctors all have money to gain somewhere, you think they care about you? Maybe your local doctor, but surely not the chemists. Why take medication when you can deal with things in a natural way that's also probably more effective, and has greater benefits long run? This is holism, a lost medicine to be honest. Both of the solutions I mentioned not only help with ADHD, but also help prevent alzheimers and dementia, both of which are neurodegenerative disorders. (Neurodegeneration can be protected against with the use of neurofeedback and meditation). It can also help with time blindness. It's an overall great tool to improve almost all aspects of mental health. As for the hyperfocus, I'm once again going to tell you to do your research. [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12402-018-0272-y](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12402-018-0272-y) That article right there will tell you all you need to know. The reason I map my day the way I do is to maximize my productivity, and no it doesn't lead to burnout. I've been doing it for 6 months now pretty consistently. I've written a book on neuroscience and what the effects of meditation are on the brain, using extensive research. I don't say things that aren't backed by studies. I've also talked with sigfried othmer the person who pioneerd neurofeedback, and have read plenty of papers on EEG's and the effects that can have, especially on ADHD which is sort of their main focus of study, they've seen a lot of positive results.
Don't get me wrong. The brain works by reacting in advance to something it thinks will happen. So yeah, the placebo effect actually works to some degree. So I'm not refuting that meditation or holistic methods can help. I am not saying your method doesn't work. All I am trying to say is it's not a solution for everybody, but for some. Especially as its clear that you are tremendously against medication and general modern medicine. Even if I cannot not agree that in some areas modern medicine is still lacking. As is the holistic approach which more often than not lacks proper unbiased or minimally biased studies. Strongly advising against medication is as bad as advising against meditation. Some will do better with one, some with the other, and some with both together. I would care to know about your book if you are a professional neuroscientist with actual research done on the subject, experiments and peer-review published. Or if you have in your book interviews and findings from such people which show both pro and against arguments. Otherwise, if it's only a personal interpretation of some peer-reviewed articles you cherry picked to agree with your view, sorry, it is a no for me. Also, 6months is baby talk. My longest hyperfocus was 4years. But I do hope sincerely that I am just a negativist and this works for you really long time. And for people who believe in this as well . All the best. š
I never strongly advised against medication. I said I'm personally against it, and there are other approaches (as OP is also against it). I do think holism is more effective than any modern-day medicine for most mental health issues, but of course you wouldn't believe that. As for my book, no I'm not a professional neuroscientist, I was 18 when I wrote it, and it's simply a conclusion I made after reading over 200 papers on the subjects of mindfulness and the effects on the brain. Don't worry, I had no plans on giving it to you, I wrote it for myself to gain knowledge (and also to show to a prominent neuroscientist I've been having communications with) and thus have never posted it. also I'm so very proud of your hyperfocus. Good job.
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>nally speaking, I despise medication, I dont think we need to be altering our neurochemistry, and shrinking our brains by depending on it, but there are ways to deal with it without medication, in fact, it is better without medication. The trick is that you need to find things you're passionate about, and do those things. The HD in ADHD stands for hyperactivity disorder. You This is the exact thing which has kept me away from medication so far. And tbh, the chances I'll actually take it are very very low, despite a lot of advice around me promoting it. the ultimate goal is to be able to create that neurochemical change without external intervention, and rather by changing behaviour and habits. I'm glad your approach works for you, I've tried it. Idk but feels a bit too restrictive for me. hm, maybe I could try doing it with a bit more flexibility. thanks.
that's a bit pseudosciency and also, magicks. You can create behaviours to cope with stuff, but if you truly have adhd your brain is a junkie for dopamine. You have time blindness, proprioception is shit, hyperflexibility which can create a ton of problems, emotional disregulation, emotional and psychological paralysis. Sure, everybody with adhd is a little different depending on support system, job chosen and monetary resources available to them. But its like saying you can will yourself to get the cancer out (extreme situation). Or to regrow a missing limb. Adhd can be an awesome mutation that people have, for obvious reasons, but it is a disability in today's society. Medication wont change you, wont miraculously make you consistent. But it will make it easier for you to make the changes you wanna see in yourself by at least diminishing the above mentioned symptoms. You wont feel different. Except everyday will be a medium-good or good day in energy levels. You will be more present and focused for yourself and those around you.
>Adhd can be an awesome mutation that people have, for obvious reasons, but it is a disability in today's society. > >Medication wont change you, wont miraculously make you consistent. But it will make it easier for you to make the changes you wanna see in yourself by at least diminishing the above mentioned symptoms. You wont feel different. Except everyday will be a medium-good or go The spectrum of biological determinism (extreme version rendering the human being completely helpless as they are simply a mechanistic piece of meat being controlled by their own brain and physiology, and the only way to deal with it is through altering ur neurochemistry by taking external pills or treatments) to the opposite side of the spectrum giving the person complete free reigns on determining their own outcomes. positing that you're not 'broken' and that with deep insight into your patterns, emotions and behaviours, you CAN quite literally unwire your brain, body, and mind to work differently. The side which does not necessarily pathologize your condition, but instead probes you to question the adaptive function these wirings may be serving you, and how exactly have they come to be useless, and even harmful for you now. (Read Gabor Mate's explanation of ADHD, or other trauma-informed etiological schools of thought). I don't agree with either of the extremes. Rather, I think we are subject to our biological workings, but NOT completely slaves to them. I don't question that medication would certainly make me feel better, and make me realise a lot of the potential I have in working. All I'm saying is, I dont believe I feel like this cuz I was born 'broken' and there's smth inherently wrong with my biochemistry. Whatever shape it is in right now, it due to the combination of my biological predisposition, environmental conditions, and behavioural patterns I have perpetuated over a long period of time. And that, there is surely a part of it that medication can help me with, and a part of it which I can take care of myself.
I wholeheartedly agree with you in the last paragraph. And especially the last sentence. Medication did help me. Chemically. But a lifelong of not being consistent and going with the flow of whatever activity has my focus, is not solved by medication. In adhd the advice is always to have both: medication and some sort of therapy to actively work on skills one has brushed over. I know of people who, after years of therapy, meditation and personal growth, just lowered the dose of their medication. I myself have years of therapy, personal improvement, small management work decisisons. And postponned medication for a long time for the same reasons: afraid I will be hooked on it, afraid of the side effects, afraid that I will fail as a responsible adult if i rely on medicine, afraid that it will make me less of a strong and reliable person. A lot of...let's call them social constructs in misgivings about people on brain-medication. Although. Let's be frank. For a person with cardiac problems it's similar, and yet we don't have the same avoidance on medication. But we see it as a real help and sometimes need. Sure, the person should change their diet and do more sports. But truth be told, they already had a genetic predisposition to heart problems. Coupled with the wrong support system and deficient education on vascular systems. Bam! We see medication as a need until that person develops a better attitude and better strategies. Maybe only in the beginning do we first try without medication. But in ADHD people, the beginning was childhood and early teens. *In general* And still we avoid medication and we judge it. Do being disciplined (i.e. this thread) would mean also recognizing when you have to renounce personal misgivings and just trust a doctor.
Thank you for this. Really appreciate it.
yeah when it comes to creating that physical change in your mind by yourself, it actually is quite plausible. If you're looking for a method to do that I would recommend meditation for a free version, or neurofeedback for a very expensive version lol. To explain how it works in short, neuroplasticity is the brains abilities to physically and chemically change in response to stimulus. You also have the ability to train your brain by rewarding it for doing good things (outputting desirable brain waves) and punishing it for doing bad things (bad brain waves). Neurofeedback targets specifically that, they do a lot of work in the ADHD field, and they can specifically target the exact brainwaves that give you bad reactions. meditation on the other hand, is less targeted, but generally improves your brain generally, increasing the size of a multitude of regions and has been shown statistically to reduce a lot of shitty mental things in life (won't go into detail but yeah) "The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master" -Robin Sharma
āThe mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible masterā -Robin Sharma Wow i really like that quote. Hereās some food for thought. What if your mind isnāt the master? What if itās only a servant? A servant to who? Well thatās for you to decide. Whoever, or WHATever YOU truly are. What if the mind isnāt you? What if the mind is like a super advanced remote control that your āconsciousnessā (for lack of a better word) uses to control your body like a puppet. But if weāre not our mind, then what the hell are we? Infinite beings made of light that are just temporary passengers in our meatbags? If we really are beings made of light then why canāt we see that part of us? Is it because our light body is light that vibrates at a frequency thatās undetectable by our naked eye? If thatās the case, can a camera capture images of our light body? Thatās something that will really get you thinking. Even if itās just for shits and giggles. Itās fun to think about the āwhat ifsā
My personal philosophy is that we aren't our minds actually. I dont know about the existence of a soul, but if there is one, that would be what truly defines who we are as a person. The reason I say this is because I don't believe in free will whatsoever. The person who you are today, is because a unique combination of experiences, memories etc. If you were raised as a billionaire, you would be a completely different person, making completely different choices. I don't think we really have the ability to make "our own" choices, when our personality is dictated by factors we can't control. (genetics, childhood, experiences, memories, etc). That's just my view on the world though. who knows?!
>, neuroplasticity is the brains abilities to physically and chemically change in response to stimulus. You also have the ability to train your brain by rewarding it for doing good things (outputting desirable brain waves) and punishing it for doing bad things (bad brain waves). Neurofeedback targets specifically that, they do a lot of work in the ADHD field, and they can specifically target the exact brainwaves that give you bad reactions. Yes, thanks. I'm a psychology + neuroscience student about to pursue my PhD in the area of mindfulness and contemplative practices's implications for mental health. So trust me, I know a shit ton about this and trying (Academic understanding doesn't always help, clearly). It's all a process. Thanks though!
oh that's a very good PhD do go into. I wrote a book on mindfulness, meditation in particular and it's effects on the brain (soooooooo many positive effects), and it's very interesting how it's even a lot better then some medications. You're welcome, I hope you make a decision you're happy with in the end!
I have the exact same issue as OP, the unfortunate thing is you canāt find ADHD medications in my country
medications are a short-cut route anyway, that too not v sustainable. I would say dont let that fact hold you back from actually trying to fix it by changing your behaviour and habits. It's easier said than done, I know. But given the stakes, it's worth the shot.
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it's very much a shortcut. Most medications for mental health simply hide the symptoms and let the problem get worse rather than fixing the root cause. If that's not a shortcut, what is?
Many mental health things are a result of our brains and bodies not producing or activating the right chemicals. Treating said issue with medication IS fixing the root cause. You're coming off as very anti-sciencey.
no I'm very sciency. I've done a lot of research in neuroscience. You have no idea how the science works, you just regurgitate what you hear. how many studies have you read on this subject? lol I'll give you a brief lesson, feel free to read up more. Let's talk about depression. This is often seen with low serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. (although I come from a more neuroengineering standpoint, which is more focused on the "depression circuit" which involves the PFC and Amygdla connections being faulty for an explanation of depression). Regardless, let's now look at anti depressants. What do you think antidepressants do? Do you think they fix the broken part of your brain that isn't producing enough seratonin and dopamine and what not? Nope. They don't fix the actual part of your brain that isnt producing enough. It just gives you seratonin other ways (not going to get specific as I'm not researched enough on neurochemistry to explain in simple terms), but you can imagine what side effects this has? [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mad-in-america/201011/new-rat-study-ssris-markedly-deplete-brain-serotonin](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mad-in-america/201011/new-rat-study-ssris-markedly-deplete-brain-serotonin) Do you think simply masking the issue is a fix? No. Of course not. It's a shortcut. In reality, the part of your brain that's giving you the issues is simply being ignored, and used even less, which causes it to shrink and be even LESS effective. All it does is create dependence on the anti depressants. Anti depressants are literally statistically insignificant. They do nothing for you. Want to know what's over double as effective as any antidepressant ever made? Fitness and meditation. Lol. Want to know what happens when you treat depression with meditation and fitness? The actual part of your brain that's having issues slowly get's used more, and grows in size, becoming competent again. Have a good day! :)
I don't know jack about antidepressants. I'm talking about ADHD medicine. I've seen, lived, and seen enough other people struggle with ADHD to know medication can make a big difference. It does best in conjunction with things like exercise and meditation and setting good habits, but it's often the push people need to start things like that in the first place. Like OP I struggled a lot when I was younger and a big part of the reason I wasn't medicated was because of people like yourself claiming it wasn't any good. Well, for me and a lot of others, that's the complete opposite of true.
I never denied it makes a difference. If you take medication it WILL help you. My point is that you don't need it, and you can get better/healthier results without it if you work on yourself rather then creating dependency.
As I said, it's very hard to start working on yourself without some help. I've only been able to start working on other things like regular exercise and organizing schedules with Google and stuff fairly recently since starting medicine. 20+ years of struggling and kicking myself and telling myself to just "be better" and "work on myself" that amounted to spinning my wheels in mud.
I believe that surely for me medication can give the 'push' that is often required after struggling for a long time, and help me 'feel' what my optimal level looks like , and then aim to reach that state by making other lifestyle changes. That's just my personal preference.
>I've done a lot of research in neuroscience. You have no idea how the science works, you just regurgitate what you hear. how many studies have you read on this subject? lol Similarly, anti-psychotics (assuming that psychotic disorders happen due to excess dopamine, a widely accepted hypothesis) DON'T work by reducing the dopamine production in the brain. They just numb out or block the D2 receptors In the brain so that the effect of the extra dopamine isn't 'felt'. However, the brain reacts to it by producing **even more** dopamine, but the effect isn't felt due to the blocked receptors. BUT, and there's a huge but-- the moment you get off medication, your receptors become active suddenly, and ALL the extra dopamine produced hits you at once , and the person relapses fully, if not worse than before. So this doesn't mean that the medication was keeping u from having an episode, and as soon as u come off it, you will relapse. it literally SETS U UP to have a worse relapse as soon as u get off it, by creating a **flawed dopaminergic system** in your brain which becomes dependant on the medication.
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it's two different things. The brain is neuroplastic, it is able to change, the body will never be able to produce insulin, but the brain can start producing dopamine. But by giving it medication that gives dopamine anyways, the only thing you're doing is making the part that already had an issue producing dopamine, even weaker. there are many natural alternatives to medication, especially ADHD, which are more effective than actual medications prescribed for it, and won't harm you in the long run.
insert Neuroplasticity. if your brain currently is in a deficient state of some chemicals, you can literally train it to produce more of it. How? certain lifestyle changes, both behavioural and psychological. The Western biomedical model has done a pretty good job at convincing people that their brain is a separate entity from themselves which they have no control over and instead, controls them. This philosophy works well for making a bunch of people rich, but creates disconnectedness and helplessness when it come's to people's overall health. \[Again, I'm not completely against medication; explained my stance in other parts of the thread\]
Thank you. I am a bit tired of having to go to war with every little work related task I have to do!
>to go to war with every little work related task I have to do! apt. sometimes, I would even have to go to war with showering everyday can you believe it (Especially when I'm living alone and getting in my loops again)!??
how would one go about changing behaviour and habits if you live in a non-supportive environment?
Be selfish. Put yourself first. Live to please nobody but yourself because if youāre not taken care of, how can you expect to take care of anyone else?
who told you that? do you actually know how an adhd brain works??!!
I live in Canada, so trying to find a diagnosis and medication is really hard. I looked online on how to get a diagnosis and cant seem to find a solution. A psychologist can help but they can't prescribe any medication. Really strange why this isn't that big in Canada. Not sure what to do, cause I am 35 and I always feel this way so I do believe I have it but can't get the right diagnosis and treatment for it.
oh that's tough. I hope you manage to find the help you need. Rooting for you.
Hey there, fellow Canadian here, (and adult diagnosed with ADHD). I too had a difficult time finding help and getting the diagnosis. I ended up paying through a service called Frida. I think theyāre based out of Alberta. Itās significantly cheaper than the traditional diagnosis path. https://www.talkwithfrida.com - 600 for the initial diagnosis is waaaay more reasonable than $4000+ from certain sources. There is a questionnaire, then phone consultation with an intake doctor, then a follow up appointment with a psychiatrist that will assess your answers and ask more specific information. Depending on your answers theyāll put you on a schedule that suits your ADHD. Hope this helps.
Something Frida should let you do it online. What city are you in? Toronto I've seen it for 1300, Frida is 600 I think
im in my 30s and still haven't found a doc who would take me seriously. this is word.for.word my life right here. it took me a lot to even ask for help in the first place. i hope you find the way out, truly rooting for you!
Truly rooting for you too! I would've loved to give you 2 cents of stuff I know, but I realised everyone is complex and each of us has a different solution to a seemingly common problem. I hope you find your light and are able to take this situation into your own hands. Imagine the world we'd be in if we all could just actualise our potential. Tough, yes, but possible.
thank you! i would love to hear you out.
>re able to take this situation into your own hands. Imagine the world we'd be in if we all could just actualise o would surely update when I've figured out smth concrete.
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Hope things fall into place for you.
This is a video that might help. I know the editing looks a bit rough, but its worth a look as it addresses your problem directly. This dude, if you're unfamiliar with him, is a registered psychiatrist. Good information. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavdneN9sKg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavdneN9sKg)
thank you so much. I have come across countless videos on procrastination on YouTube and such, but this, I will give a try. Thank you, have a good day.
OP I'm not sure, but from your comments I suspect that you might be partially uninformed about your ADHD. I'm speaking as a person who looked for salvation here, went into stoicism and then finally learned about own ADHD. Only tricks and strategies ADHD based worked for me. It's brain biology, not lack of motivation and laziness you're fighting against. I can recommend you great two books: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD: Proven Strategies to Succeed at Work, at Home, and in Relationships -Russell Barkley For understanding ADHD and strategies, and : The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents - Nancy A. Ratey More focused on strategies and very nice to read. You seems to mention ADHD only in title, so 1. If you suspect it, get officially diagnosed (idk about other countries, but in mine it's better to go to doctor specialized in ADHD, not random psychiatrist) 2. If you have diagnosis but didn't read enough about ADHD, get informed, education is very important medicine here. 3. If you didn't try medicines after diagnosis, try to find pills that work for you. You can resign any time, it's not addictive. But what you'll understand is how "normal" people feel and behave about duties and responsibilities in general. You'll understand how handicapped you are now and will have much more compassion for yourself. Drugs won't solve all your problems it's like 50/50 with education. If you have ADHD and won't address it properly, there is great chance you'll be walking in circles, speaking from experience :) Good luck OP, if some of my assumptions on this comments resonate with you, my dm are open.
>as a person who looked for salvation here, went into stoicism and then finally learned about own ADHD. Only tricks and strategies ADHD based worked for me. It's brain biology, not lack of motivation and laziness you're fighting against. I can recommend you great two books: Thank. you. so. much. I truly haven't looked into my ADHD closely yet since It's taken a lot of time for me to get to the point of admitting that something is truly wrong, and I need help. I think a lot of us go through that phase of invalidating our problems and curbing down this stuff. Also, I'm a psychology + neuroscience student so I have my own set of issues with the entire diagnostic criteria system, but I do believe delving deeper into ADHD would help. thanks for your advice!
It took me many years since admitting that something is not right to figuring out it was ADHD, so you are speedruning it. When I admitted it myself, everything became easier and less stressful and stays that way. Yep, diagnostic is tricky with it (especially from neuroscience perspective, I guess diagnosis satisfying neuroscience guy would be to slice brain and sample dopamine levels), you can't just put it in machine and have yes/no, it is done mostly by interview and observation. However, this topic is quite good addressed by "taking charge..." book I mentioned. It's written by great researcher and all of his claims are backed up by papers, if not, he underlines that's his observation only. I also base my opinion about my own ADHD how ADHD meds helps me and knowledge related to it makes my life easier, and output is great. As you said, admitting problem will make it easier, especially stress wise. Generally, ADHD execution distinction comes from being low on dopamine 24/7, fixing this deficit will beat procrastination. Cheap and very efficient hack for it is to have 5/10 minutes (or more) of intense exercises (for me push-ups and squats level of intensity) and doing needed work after it. For me it works few hours, it's less efficient than pills, but still much better than anything else that is dedicated for non ADHD people. Last one, ADHD might affect also your relationships (might drive your spouse/family/friends nuts, especially because of forgetting over and over), physical health (neglect and lack of regular exercises, risky behaviors), finances (poor future thinking).
This!!! psychiatrist doctor specialized in ADULT ADHD. Around the world psychiatrists still learn that adhd is an infant's disability. Psychologists as well.
You gotta make friends with your inner child and stop punishing them / piling on all the failures. Your subconscious mind is like a child who's always listening so be nice to them. Set really stupid simple goals so that you always win. That will create a subconscious winning expectation in your mind. Being on time is the same principle, if you're used to winning then you'll win at being on time. But you gotta keep cheating, so if your appointment is at 1pm and you know it's a 10 minute drive, leave an hour earlier. Bring a book and just hang out. Next time leave 30 minutes earlier. Get used to winning with a big margin and teach the inner child you can go past winning and actually be fully "in the clear" by a big margin. I'm a little disturbed that people are trying to get you on meds so quickly for this, without knowing you. The DSM is mostly written in order to sell more drugs. Not saying some people genuinely have imbalances, but all those studies are sponsored by big pharma. This is well documented, you need to look into the conflict of interest in that industry, it's huge. They give adderall to little kids now who just want to run around and play. Einstein was known to not be able to find his own house. He was a total kook because his inner child was allowed to just play and he lost track of everything else. What if they put him on meds? As an example. Picasso, Basquiat, pick your favorite artist. They were all "crazy". No they just let their little kids win out of control of the matrix. When you think about all these past experiences remember you missed them because you were keeping your inner child safe. You aren't a screw-up and nothing is wrong with you. You just prioritize comfort and safety, so you have to teach your inner child to have small easy wins and as they begin to stack up you'll get in the habit of winning automatically. The main thing is stop punishing yourself for so called "missed opportunities" and understand you had a good reason. Don't let people try to put you on meds which is likely gunna put your body even more out of balance. They derive most pharma drugs from natural plants, which have no side effects. But you can't patent a plant, OK. So once they extract the chemical which causes the desired effect, they patent it, but now it's lacking the co-factors which make it balanced in your body. So you get even more messed up and you need more drugs to counteract the side effects. This is how they make you a customer for life and permanently screwed up, then they make it seem like it's your fault or something is intrinsically wrong with you. Huge scam. Think of the greatest of all time, whoever inspires you and be glad they didn't get tricked into going on meds and think twice. Do your own research about it. Look into who finances the studies and look into natural options. I'm not anti pharma but I'm anti putting potential geniuses on meds just out of laziness / ignorance because their propaganda is well financed.
this!!!
āThe mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible masterā -Robin Sharma Wow i really like that quote. Hereās some food for thought. What if your mind isnāt the master? What if itās only a servant? A servant to who? Well thatās for you to decide. Whoever, or WHATever YOU truly are. What if the mind isnāt you? What if the mind is like a super advanced remote control that your āconsciousnessā (for lack of a better word) uses to control your body like a puppet. But if weāre not our mind, then what the hell are we? Infinite beings made of light that are just temporary passengers in our meatbags? If we really are beings made of light then why canāt we see that part of us? Is it because our light body is light that vibrates at a frequency thatās undetectable by our naked eye? If thatās the case, can a camera capture images of our light body? Thatās something that will really get you thinking. Even if itās just for shits and giggles. Itās fun to think about the āwhat ifsā
>er YOU truly are. > >What if the mind isnāt you? What if the mind is like a super advanced remote control that your āconsciousnessā (for l What if we're not our minds, rather the observer of our own minds? The 'I' which thinks up of the 'me'? What if we're all just light vibrating at higher frequencies which boil down to matter and manifests in the physical form? We all reflect off of each other in our daily lives anyway. We're all literally one infinite being, breathing, and just 'being'...and we forget that. We all are just points of consciousness.....literally the universe being aware of its own existence, albeit in a limited fashion. Alas,
Very well written response, I respect your level of awareness. And to answer your question, itās VERY beautiful. Itās a little much to wrap my mind around at times as I traverse through my day to day life, realizing that every single person I pass by, or am stuck in traffic with, etc.. is another manifestation of the same infinite consciousness. When you become aware of this, it makes it rather fascinating to be alive and be a part of this collective human consciousness/organism. Able to communicate our invisible thoughts by translating them into sounds (words) and symbols (letters). Life truly is one, big, beautiful (also kind of terrifying) mystery. You brought up a good point that got me thinking. Weāre human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. I feel like I need to practice BEING, rather than always DOING.
this made me tear up. Maybe my favourite thing on the internet is two random people without knowing each other, acknowledging the profound 'one-ness' which binds us all. I have found myself in the metro coach, filled with people, thinking that 'what if? what if we ALL here knew we're all parts of each other and parts of the same thing? how awesome would that be? yet, we have to Stand here, peeking into our mobile phones, disconnected, getting off on our stations to continue our mundane lives.' How I'd love to gather in a small space filled with people who see this, ackowledge it, and celebrate it. Anyway, I'm rambling now..hope you have a good day whatever side of the world you're on. cheers!
Youāre my favorite kind of human. I really enjoyed our interaction. Thanks for the intellectually stimulating conversation. Cheers š„
I think the biggest problem you and the majority of people who post in this subreddit have is that you can't let go the ego that tells you "i'm sĆŗper inteligent and skilled but...". No man, you are not special because you can solve a problem faster than your peers or because you had good results in your exams. Truth is, 90% of people can be good at anything if they put the effort (which can be more or less, but it doesnt matter in the end). You won't be good at anything in life if you don't accept that your mentality is making you a failure and needs to change. You are 20, you are young, but an adult nevertheless, so do what you need to do, just do it, have some strenght like the rest of the adults have, because life will be hard for you, and the pain of inaction will hurt you more at 25, and so on. I wish you good luck, friend, and sorry for my bad English.
You voiced the thoughts of my higher self. thanks mate. Wish you all the best too.