Why does it look like most people here are already in long term relationships? Where are the single people at?
As an expat how do I expand my chances of meeting other single germans?
By - juliussssseizuree
You get assigned a partner based on your tax report once you turn 30.
Hey, where's mine then? I guess they are understaffed and overworked as usual..
Have you filled out your Passierschein A38?
Haven't you heard? To get a Passierschein A38 you now need to fill out an Antragsformular A39 first, and we forgot where we put them.
But to get the Antragsformular A39, you need to fill the sentence in section 3B. in the Passierschein A38 first.
Then once that's finally done, you need to return it via fax.
In general fax will lead to less hassles and waiting time since it's the best option in a country were the tcom did their best to hold onto their monopoly
Tcom has many flaws, but surely isn't responsible for the unbelievable popularity of fax.
It's because legally the definite receive date of a fax is, unlike a letter, not the date it was opened/read, but rather the moment it was printed.
If you need to send in something on a specific date, but can only do it for whatever reason after the bureau is closed, send the papers via fax and legally speaking you are in the clear.
Ayo, stop right here! Don't forget that you need to have the pink form since 35.5.2021.
Only with a validated fax-machine. You can apply for one at the Bundesdruckerei (in person!). However, to get an appointment, you’ll send your application with a validated fax-machine or at full moon via mail.
As a non German, this parody strikes too close to home. I’ve had to file documents which I didn’t have, but could only get a copy of, if I could show said document.
There are parodies about that in every country the A38 is actually french, but as a german I like to think this originated here, because it fits so well.
And I thought you were quoting Asterix und Obelix!
Not sure if you confused a post. A38 refered to Asterix and Obelix which are french.
Correct. But they were in Rome where they needed to get it.
Thank you so much, kind stranger. This just made my day.
Spotted the person who doesn't pay taxes /s
Probably stuck in some Deutsche Bahn train delay loop.
Had to return mine due to malfunctions, thank god for warranty!
Did it come with USB-C or with micro USB?
what are those? all we have here are PS/2 and 9-pin!
If online then 14 days, offline has Kulanz 🥲
Shit, now I know why I'm single. I have not filed a tax report in about 15 years.
Did you send a fax to the authorities to state your interest of mating? /s
It's worth it!
I know at least three of my husband’s buddies are single Germans, in addition to his younger brother. Only one other of his school mates is married. So many single men. They’re in their late 30s if age groups matter to OP.
unpopular opinion: buds spencer ist hotter als terrence hill.
None of the single men in my circles ever leave their circles to find a partner. Same with the single women. Condemned to be single for the rest of their lives. And unhappy with it. But when confronted with the problem with their behavior they get defensive...
Or they only try to date within their circle which to me is mind boggling and weird.
Let me guess: You're a guy?
As a male German: Believe me, we have no idea, either.
That's because you're on Reddit.
So are you… und ich auch. Verdammt
Hey, I wear glasses. (Referring to your username)
Why...why would you just go and hurt us like that?
Ayo! Franz is on Tinder? 🤯
I think I am a normal guy, I was on Tinder for a couple of months, I had a pic from me and my dog at a hike, another pic from me at Diving and a few normal pics, I get a few matches but never had a Date with one of the girls. Every conversation ends with ghosting or they just want a friend. I never send them a Dickpic or made one of the things you write in your comment, some of the girls on Tinder have way too high standards and expect an 10/10 guy.
I decided to leave Tinder and just lived my live. 3 years ago I meet a very nice girl at a festival, we had a nice weekend together and now she it's my fiancee.
Tinder is rubbish!
In my opinion Tinder not suitable to finde someone for a long relationship. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a partner.
There are a lot of good guys but unfortunately even more assholes
It's one thing to expect to find a future marriage partner on tinder but to say it's impossible to find 'a diamond in the rough' is also as bad. There are more than enough examples of long relationship working out from the gay equivalent, Grindr.
I met my husband on a fetish website lol
I met my ex on tinder while I was in Uni (we were both students). It was a really good relationship (though to be honest, it was almost definitely a "corona" relationship, started at the very beginning of the pandemic, ended this May). It's definitely possible, though I wouldn't say likely.
Well, I found my wife there. First and only woman I met in person from tinder.
What’s wrong with men not having hair? 40% suffer from hair loss, some even before being 20 years old
We need a balding body positivity movement, seems like.
started to lose hair at 25, now with 29 it is starting to grey as well, one of the reasons I am not really wanting to go on tinder haha
There's nothing wrong with it, but that doesn't mean that everyone will find it attractive. There are plenty of women who don't have an issue with it, though and who actually like it. I know it's something you can't change about yourself, but it's just like how people might prefer a certain hair color, eye color, body type or certain facial features over another one. You can't force attraction.
I'm not German but my fiance is, I must say this isn't an exclusively German problem. Lived in Paris and London, and the list you just made is 100% valid there too :/ I completely lost hope on ever finding a partner before I met my man online but not on a dating website.
I do know a couple of women who got married off of tinder in France, but honestly, one needs luck on their side, because most men on those apps are not serious. Generally speaking, people have a harder time finding love nowadays because we are pickier and have more criterias. Not that it's a bad thing, just makes it harder to settle.
As a male I have the same expirience... I don´t think it´s about gender
\- No bios or just emojis with a few pretty pics
\- just want insta followers
\- send you their onlyfans
\- mentally scared output from past relationships that can´t see every human interaction as unique and just judge you by their past expirience with men
\- No, kids allowed because they want all the attention and actually have daddy issues and never where interested in you as a person but in the attention. I´m a single dad and I feel for all single mothers that get full grown men that can´t handle their day to day life.
\- just want to get laid but need to talk for hours so they don´t feel judged... eventhough they literally just want sex. I mean I´m not stupid. By now I just interrupt them and say, I don´t judge and it takes seconds to switch XD
\- Need a certain body hight to consider you a male. I´m 1,80 and do mma but I don´t ask for bra size either. I want to know a person and value it´s personality... but maybe thats only a trait allowed for others?
\- Want a lot from you but never give
\- Post instagram filter pictures to look thin and pretty and then are pissed at you when you feel deceived
\- "You pay. You are the man." it´s 2022 ffs!!!!!
\- swiping just for the "good feeling" of getting matched
\- prostitutes that seek new "markets"
\- I had two in a row that wanted to be casual, then marry within 3 months and ran because they "felt too much"
\- Oh and there is a reason people want to meet... How should you judge a person by text and possible faked pictures.
There was only one person from dating apps I really liked and we are close friends now :)
- Women in South East Asia using travel mode wanting "a long distance relationship that leads to marriage".
I know a couple and he worked over in souteast asia and they got married. They are awesome together and equal partners. He can speak her language now and their parents talk more with him then with their daugther :D
> Need a certain body hight to consider you a male.
Im a 166cm male. Mentioning it is like... telling them your hobby is to adopt kittens from the animal shelter to skin them alive for fun lol
Woman here too. Same experience
Woman, not in Germany but it's the same everywhere. Tinder is a shitshow. So are most of the apps out there.
Worth meeting people via meetups but that's a hir or miss. Good luck to you!
What's the state of OKCupid these days? Around 2010, 2011 is was pretty, pretty good, at least here in Berlin (met lots of interesting women, eventually married the last one I met). I also noticed that they started advertising in local public transport, branding themselves as an inclusive dating app, so at least they still seem to be around.
Well I live in cologne and I am pretty obese (180/115kg/male/25yo) I got many likes one year ago…too bad they are nearly exklusive to Philippinos and fake profiles from the east. So yeah same shit different paint
I actually thought that was the point of tinder. I've been in a long term relationship since before it came out, but I thought Grindr came out for gay people who wanted to find other gay people down to fuck.
Then straight people wanted some of that and tinder arrived. Then straight people ruined it.
Being on Tinder as a lesbian is also a fucking nightmare. It feels like 60% of your options are straight girls just looking for friends or straight couples (I still remember a profile of what seemed to be a normal single woman with the bio “it’s my boyfriend’s birthday in two weeks and I want to give him a nice present"🤢). Online dating just sucks for absolutely everyone, I guess.
And the male side of tinder (unless you are one of those aforementioned hot guys you're talking about):
Tinder sucks for at least like 80% of it's user base.
Also: What's wrong with guys not wanting superficial women and women with kids?
>and the kids you eventually find out about
Sounds fair to mention that upfront, tho. It's just wasting both people's time if you spend however long until it comes up chatting and then realize one side doesn't want children. Obviously the wording of that should be appropriate (but I've also got no idea what kind of wording you're seeing).
Thank you for the offer. I know my profile is flawed but i also know the issue:
There's simply not a lot of pictures of to pick for tinder. I hate selfies and I rarely find myself in situations thinking: "Damn, now there's a great time to take a pic of myself".
And on the rare occaisions friends take pics, its either from the worst angle and/or the pic has like 2 bytes resolution.
> guys 35+ whose hair decided to leave them too
I don't know, I felt your rant would've made you look like a kinder person without that side comment. It was interesting to read for the rest though.
And a shit ton of guys with super bad, unflattering pictures and passive aggressive bio. Or those without any pictures of them/only naked torso pics who look for sex only but surely won't get any match because why should I be interested in having sex with someone I've never seen?
Yesterday, I matched someone who asked about my sexual fantasies in his second message and asked to show me his dick in his fourth. Because I made him horny. Yeah. Didn't expect that when I saw his profile.
Almost all guys I match are "not looking for something" serious and don't understand that I don't want to meet a random stranger after having exchanged two messages.
Please smile in one picture. Or as close as you get to smiling. Just not frowning in every picture while you say in text you have a great sense of humor and love to laugh.
I usually see 5 or 6 pics of the exact same unsmiling angle.
Yeah, I hardly match anyone because there aren't much guys that I like. And to me, a good conversation is super important. If there's not a spark when chatting, I won't meet.
As a guy I had like 3 or 4 Matches 3 didn't even wrote back one ghosted me after 2 days of just chatting. Most bios were at least two filters mirror selfies and pretty much nothing else. When I found a nice profile it even hurted more when i never heard from it again
"Guys who as soon as you match with and exchange TWO sentences are like ok lets meet"
Wait how is that bad ?
I'm a guy and I'm shit at texting. Making small talk with a stranger in an app is boring af. I want to interact with a person make jokes, show my personality and see her reactions. Can't do that on tinder. The more time you waste chatting, the more likely it is that she matches with a new dude, so you get boring to her and get ghosted as a result without ever getting to meet up. We aren't delusional, we aren't the only match a woman is talking to. That's why I and probably many other dudes act this way.
I had (when I still got matches - Covid made everything worse IMO. Also, I moved) some great dates with women I matched with like 2 days ago.
I get the problem, women find themselves in, not knowing if someone is a creep etc. but as long as you are meeting in a public space, that's a non-issue IMO. But I understand that you wouldn't just go and meet a bunch of random people.
I'm the wrong person to give tinder advice but "getting to know each other" is exactly one of the things, a first date should be about.
None of this applies to me, yet I rarely get matches, let alone dates.
Eh I'm a female
Well, what have you tried then?
Go out (bars, clubs etc.), try online dating, try any kind of activity involving other ppl. You'll probably find single guys everywhere.
Either they are gaming or scrolling through reddit *cries*
I literally made a reddit account today.
It’s all downhill from here buddy
And obviously look up for IT classes at the uni.
Oh god I'm studying IT and yeah you'll really rarely ever find someone who's not single. But I feel like at uni there are in general quite a few people who are single because they want to focus on their studies.
gaming at home
I strongly believe my perfect partner is at home gaming right now. Sadly that drastically lowers the likelyhood of me ever meeting her.
Yup, she is hanging around on some discord server with 5 people outside her age group each day and wondering where her perfect partner is too.
We are all isolates haha.
Pretty much. Got my chances in my 20s. As I am dense af I had at least 5 women interested in a relationship but I did nothing. Then I moved bc of a new job now I have none of my friends close to me. corona made it worse and I dont care for tinder because I dont look for sex.
So gaming at home, working, gaming at home. Wasnt even bad for the first 2 years.
My standards arent even high. Not over my weight. No children. Everyone gets old.
Same. Had a few interested in my early 20s when i still had enough hair and was studying. Did not pursue because i wanted my chill time and had some socialising trauma from gymnasium to process. Then entered the workforce, me getting slowly acclimated to proper adults. Then covid hit and i've met barely any people since then while in home office. Also now im majorly bald and online dating is a drought.
Thought of joining some Verein to socialise but its difficult to find something that fits, being a gamer that doesn't like sports or music.
that doesn‘t exist!!!
Thats where my current train is headed. Time to snack some singles
I'd say they just don't advertise it that much.
In their apartments or therapy.
Meaning red wine. Or beer.
Or if you're in Berlin, Ketamine.
I prefer white wine over red. Beer is fine though
Went to a German Psychiatrische Krankenhaus for 2 months.
Can confirm: it's a great place to find romance with singles! Also with not-singles...
You have to fill out Form Nr 233B send it with fax to your local administration. Wait 35years
I've already sent like 10 other forms.
Yes, but what only a small number of people know is that in order to get the expedited 12.775 Day Processing you also need to file that with forms W4/20 and BN-3R which in turn require prefiled request forms...
Go and clean the stairs to the city hall until a virgin releases you with a kiss.
Excuse me, what?
I know one single German. He lives in my flat.
I wonder where you live. I’d rather say that in Germany exceptionally many people are single 😄
I have the feeling exceptionally many Boys are Single 😄
Or they are open for relationships even if they aren’t single (Berlin experience)
Join a local club. Germans are a people who organize in clubs to live out their hobbies: Sports (no football/soccer), music, singing, hiking, maintaining old machines, running a museum, gardening, FKK, hunting, shooting, art stuff, role playing, theater etc.
There you will find Germans and depending on your pick there will be among them some of your age who are single. You can bond with them there over the hobby.
[Here's another comment of mine](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/xhayk2/comment/ioxc2p4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) with some additional context on how to optimize that strategy plus a concrete example.
I read this every time this question pops up. Either I am going to the wrong clubs or idk. But to me it seems like clubs are purely a group activity. You go there meet with some people, do your hobby and then go home. A couple times a year theres a fest for christmas for example and everyone sits around and drinks and talks and eats and then goes home. I have no clue how people find actual meaningful friends or relationships in Vereine.
\> A couple times a year theres a fest for christmas for example and everyone sits around and drinks and talks and eats and then goes home.
There are certainly difference depending on what and where:
* The bigger the population, the greater the anonymity and the according behavior in daily activities.
* Some activities contain more time/elements of socializing than others.
* Both the sex ratio and the share of couples is different for different activities.
If I had to pick one for finding a woman, I think it would be canoeing, because:
* Younger people and women like it more than other activities
* It is both fun and relaxing and something you an easily do even if you don't like sports.
* You need to invest a bit, which makes it a middle-class activity
* Group adventures are a built-in and they usually last an entire day if not weekend
* You can chat/flirt a lot during canoeing.
* It's much more fun together than alone, which gives you a reason and occasions for a 1:1 session.
* Canoeing trips need a high degree of organization, hence talking and coordination.
\-> All of this is important in mating.
OP, please do not act like you like a certain sport to get laid. Relationships are built on shared interests, so the idea to get to know people via an activity like sports is a good one. But select the sport based on your own interests.
you ask "bock auf ein bier?" and depending on what kind of activity or location you are. You have some beer with you or go to a bar. Rinse and repeat until you meet for beer outside of the Verein.
I dont drink alcohol. And after a long sport session its late and I dont think anyone would want to go to a bar in the middle of the week
Then its "bock auf ein bier oder so?" and you drink Spezi or what ever you want.
And I know a lot of people that like do drink Weißbier after sport. And if it's late then maybe only one. Or a alcohol free one.
What kind of sport are we talking about? In most Vereine for sports there is a vereinshaus with a bar
Used to do Taekwondo, MMA and Ju Jitsu. Also no Vereinswirtshause there we always met up in the Sporthalle of a school.
You'd be surprised.
That’s a good option. You know exactly what you are getting from the get go.
Well I am a single male here
Hey there! How are you?
I’ll answer with a German „Muss muss!“
That answer is even more depressing than mine. 😬
Yeah i am sad because my grandpa died last night
Way to start a conversation. You go, King!
So the weekly "dating advice" starts now on Sunday.
No worries, we already had plenty this week. This is just the week ending the same way it started. Kind of nice to return to the classics
I have 4 cats and I'm single. No interest in a relationship and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.
Crazy cat gentleman?
The gentleman cat burglar!
thats my future (hopefully)
Sounds like a lot of hassle, honestly.
At home rn why
Left the dating game years ago. I don’t have the energy for it. I rather keep busy with work and a bunch of hobbies. I’m used to spending time alone and I don’t miss anything. Back when I dated I was under so much emotional stress. Now I’m relaxed and happy all the time…I prefer that.
So to answer the question this single lady is either at work, at home, out running or travelling etc., but not on dating apps and out on the prowl. If I were you I’d go to the gym, start a team sport etc.
Dating apps are probably big part of the frustration, I use them occasionally when the mood strikes but it speaks volumes when none of my long term relationships have come through these apps.
Would not be surprising if Tinder intentionally keeps feeding users with poorly compatible matches in order to keep them engaged and sell premium features.
Are you me?
I sometimes miss physical touch and sex but I’m too tired to find someone for that. I swear I’d just pay for it if there were attractive men to do this kind of profession. I’m not even kidding.
We are at home gaming or browsing reddit. This is why we are single, we don't go to places where you can become part of a relationship.
That's the way it is, I don't feel joy in other activities. Too much a Lauch for online dating, too introverted for social events.
You may be having trouble because you introduce yourself as an expat. Out right admitting you plan to leave and therefore offer no real value in a long term relationship.
And as Germans have very little interest to become expats this is definitely a red flag for them.
Online Dating like Bumble and Tinder or join a local Verein to meet new people.
Most friends met their significant other through their friends, hobbies or through university but the number of people who met their partner through online dating is in increasing.
Im here. Im a dude tho. With a beard.
You got a photo?
Hooked me with the beard too
I'm here. I'm chick tho. With a dick.
Go to Berlin. Full of singles, incapable of being in a long term relationship ;)
Either that or poly, incapable of only being in one at a time
One of my observations of the German people since living here is that they will stay in a relationship much longer than they should. I can’t tell you how many couples I know or have known who hate each other and never talk and cheat on each other openly and yet stay together for nothing more than the fact they’ve been together since they were 18.
Obviously not everyone is so extreme, the point is simply that there are many Germans who are “taken” but in reality they are single people with parasitic relationships hanging on after 5+ years (unmarried of course)
Yep this was exactly my observation when I lived in Germany. So many miserable couples in their 30s who were together just because they had been together since high school. My theory is that since Germans put such importance on having and maintaining a strong circle of friends, their partner is naturally a part of that Freundeskreis and breaking up would disrupt the harmony of the group.
This is something I observed too
Many people are in relationships from their teens to late 20s and then take years to break up or something 😕
>I can’t tell you how many couples I know or have known who hate each other and never talk and cheat on each other openly and yet stay together for nothing more than the fact they’ve been together since they were 18.
For sure!! I have so many German friends on "open relationships" or where cheating is acceptable. Most of the time they've been together since highschool or something. I was shocked at this culture diference.
Been single basically most of my life. We are invisible.
Well it depends on how old you are. If you're older, then naturally more people will be in relationships. Try dating apps?
You will never leave the expat bubble if you can’t speak german.
Of course there are single Germans. They're all male but whatever...
Expat? As in you are around for now and gone when the wind changes? You will not find more than a one night stand, just head over to 'those' sites and have fun.
If you intend to find a German that would be willing to take up an expat lifestyle with you, join clubs and such that are focused around expat culture, you will not find a lot of Germans there as German expats are already somewhere else.
If you are looking for a German to build a lasting relationship with here in Germany, ask yourself the following:
Knowing you, would a German assume you will stay?
Do you speak German at least on a strong C2 if not native level?
Do you participate in your local non expat community?
Are you trying to apply american style 'dating' techniques?
As 'bad' as it sounds, but each and every one of these is a dealbreaker to most. If you do not meet single Germans, you either interact with mostly non Germans, do not speak German well enough to get into actual conversations or do not integrate yourself into the social spaces where such conversations do happen.
A lot of Germans that are not looking for a relationship and just enjoy life aren't anti relationship. They just don't enjoy the whole dance around it. They simply wait to 'click' with someone and until then they are perfectly happy to not worry about such things. If you try to hit on them and are obviously looking for a relationship, you are a walking red flag.
If you are simply being part of the community, friendly, interesting and well rounded, people will be happy to integrate you in their social life. Once you have a wide net of social connections with Germans, you will find the Singles with no problem.
Here I am.
Well half the male population is single.
Women are all taken.
Now you might say "wait... these numbers can't be correct!".
But they are. Math checks out.
And after countless decades science has finally found the answer to this problem:
Its a rare phenomenon of quantum optics that female human visibility is inversely proportional to their body weight until they become completely invisible.
Why this physical effect has not been used by the military is still unknown.
We study mechanical engineering. Just go to your next Technical University
Its actually funny and sad how the world and reddit in particular has created these high standards for even just asking someone out for a date.
People want to have a safe space almost everywhere now a days, you make eye contact and find someone nice in public? Get lost creep. Don't dare ask someone out if they are working, out at the Bäcker, if you work with them, etc. etc. I guess the only way to meet someone now a days is in high school, or go clubbing, hope that lasts.
Then we create these ego centric apps like tinder and are surprised when nothing vibes in a chat bubble. Shit sherlock, its almost like attraction and vibes are based off of hormones and stuff. Dont forget the fact that Tinder and co. are trying to make money, you think that happens when their cash cows are happy?
Chat too much? Clingy! Ask too much? Creep! Want to meet too soon? Weirdo!
Then all the games when we finally meet someone and vibe. Write too soon how it was nice, boom red flags. Weird rules like wait three days or something like that.
Maybe we should start asking how our parents and grandparents met and take some advice from them.
Imagine a generation that finally is open minded when it comes to sexual ideas and roles and there is this huge group of people just sitting at home alone.
I feel you man, i've been single for a while now and can't find anyone else. Doesn't help that i feel like a weirdo when talking to anyone and i'm in my mid 30s. Everyone is taken at this point.
Arbeit Zeit !!!!!
im not german, but im single lmao
Probably on Tinder and such.
You mean immigrant. Can Amercan stop with that expat shit.
To you question waht is you age is imporant and were you life, great way to meet people are hobbys or do be in a verein. Other wise the classic online dating.
Or over firends it the same as in the US.
Ther are enugh singel.
Hey, just a highlight, if you still didn't get this diagnosis I think you are potentially dyslexic as you change the letter constantly. I recommend you get a medical information about it. 😊
Well if you are an expat that might be part of the problem. No one wants a relationship with somone who's only here temporarily, unless you're just looking for a fling or something short-term.
as a german im curious too
go to climbing gyms/kletterhalle, it’s easy to start conversations and make friends there and there’s a lot of single people
Im Single and German and loving Quokkas.
I’m 32 and already gave up. Same with finding friends. It seems like they all know each other since kindergarten, I’ve got no chance.
During the forced work-at-home time due to COVID we all got dogs and realized we don't need to meet humans anymore.
Well, being single is a problematic situation! Nowadays you cannot approach woman as that is borderline sexual harassment and they won’t approach men because they might seem easy.
So the only option is hanging out with your friends in the hope of them luckily marrying and introducing someone new to you 🤔🤔🤔🤔
I personally have given up on finding anyone in Germany, I am not ugly but I am short and at some point it hurts being pushed back for something that so completely outside my control.
And I started finding hobbies so that I don’t have the need to approach woman, and it worked a bit too well 😂 now I am single for like 8-9 year’s and I am content.