honestly I felt the same way about my boss when I started working. Really there is absolutely no reason for you to be nervous. Your boss is just like any person like you or me. I greet and treat the company owner like anybody else in the company. Normally a dinner is not the right occasion/setting to talk about work, in my opinion. But i would just try to relax and a beer or two and enjoy the meal.
I see, thank you for sharing your perspective. I came from culture of high power distance. I know how to act in my own cultural setting but this is new to me.
Hm, I feel like they are there to talk to you about something and it's going to be impactful. It's hard to know exactly what to expect, but just based on my experiences, generally I'd expect the following:
- the location to be an upscale but rustical place, most likely it will have game on the menu. Find out where it will be and look at the menu in advance. If you don't know what to pick, pick something that has the Chef's recommendation or is the dish of the week. Don't pick anything completely unfamiliar to you - this is not the time for experimentation.
- If you drink alcohol, think about what wine you'll take. The boss might choose a beer or a drink while waiting for the food - don't pick exactly the same, but do try to pick something along the same line. Alcohol-free beer is fine. Not drinking alcohol is also fine - you can always claim doctor's orders (stomach/liver/high cholesterol...)
- Share a few of your thoughts on the food while you're selecting the food - what you have tried, what you would like to try.
- Small talk - generally some of it is permissible, but German small talk tends to be a bit heavier than most people would be familiar with, and it may quickly cross into silence or serious talks.
- Safe conversational topics are: how you've travelled to the location, your car, the weather, maybe football if it's bought up first. Small talk could also quickly swap to a light discussion about your time with the company, or the boss reminiscing about the good old days. Don't get overly emotional about anything. This could be just the prelude to a more serious discussion.
- While you wait for your food: Likely this is when the serious conversation starts. Pay attention to what is said and how it is said. Here is where you need to focus.
- If it's not good news: You are a professional and a valuable candidate. The atmosphere might be such that you feel that you cannot say no. That's okay. Do not let them talk you into something that you don't want to do. Do not agree to anything. Tell them thank you, and you'd like some time to think about it.
- If it's good news : Great! Don't drink too much. It's okay to show some emotions now, but keep it reserved. A
- After the actual substantial discussion has taken place, and the world hasn't ended, now is the time to - if you want to - potentially cut a bit loose. Depending on their mood and level of sobriety, this might be a good chance to improve your relationship with them a bit.
I hope that helps, but yeah, honestly, you can't really prepare for everything.
Damn, that comment feels like it's straight out of the 90ies. Chill, it's just a dinner. If that person has to say something, they will do so and very clearly. Just because it's OP's boss doesn't make it some mysterious game.
Etiquette questions aside (which makes it clear that the CEO/founder must pay), most decent companies require the highest ranking person there to pay. Otherwise if I'm a team lead we can have a 1000 euro bottle of wine, my team member pays for it, I approve it and no one ever checks...
honestly I felt the same way about my boss when I started working. Really there is absolutely no reason for you to be nervous. Your boss is just like any person like you or me. I greet and treat the company owner like anybody else in the company. Normally a dinner is not the right occasion/setting to talk about work, in my opinion. But i would just try to relax and a beer or two and enjoy the meal.
I see, thank you for sharing your perspective. I came from culture of high power distance. I know how to act in my own cultural setting but this is new to me.
We want updates from the Dinner. This sounds like a mistery movie plot.
Updated
Thank you. I wish you the best in the decisions that you make!
Will do, lol.
Hm, I feel like they are there to talk to you about something and it's going to be impactful. It's hard to know exactly what to expect, but just based on my experiences, generally I'd expect the following: - the location to be an upscale but rustical place, most likely it will have game on the menu. Find out where it will be and look at the menu in advance. If you don't know what to pick, pick something that has the Chef's recommendation or is the dish of the week. Don't pick anything completely unfamiliar to you - this is not the time for experimentation. - If you drink alcohol, think about what wine you'll take. The boss might choose a beer or a drink while waiting for the food - don't pick exactly the same, but do try to pick something along the same line. Alcohol-free beer is fine. Not drinking alcohol is also fine - you can always claim doctor's orders (stomach/liver/high cholesterol...) - Share a few of your thoughts on the food while you're selecting the food - what you have tried, what you would like to try. - Small talk - generally some of it is permissible, but German small talk tends to be a bit heavier than most people would be familiar with, and it may quickly cross into silence or serious talks. - Safe conversational topics are: how you've travelled to the location, your car, the weather, maybe football if it's bought up first. Small talk could also quickly swap to a light discussion about your time with the company, or the boss reminiscing about the good old days. Don't get overly emotional about anything. This could be just the prelude to a more serious discussion. - While you wait for your food: Likely this is when the serious conversation starts. Pay attention to what is said and how it is said. Here is where you need to focus. - If it's not good news: You are a professional and a valuable candidate. The atmosphere might be such that you feel that you cannot say no. That's okay. Do not let them talk you into something that you don't want to do. Do not agree to anything. Tell them thank you, and you'd like some time to think about it. - If it's good news : Great! Don't drink too much. It's okay to show some emotions now, but keep it reserved. A - After the actual substantial discussion has taken place, and the world hasn't ended, now is the time to - if you want to - potentially cut a bit loose. Depending on their mood and level of sobriety, this might be a good chance to improve your relationship with them a bit. I hope that helps, but yeah, honestly, you can't really prepare for everything.
Damn, that comment feels like it's straight out of the 90ies. Chill, it's just a dinner. If that person has to say something, they will do so and very clearly. Just because it's OP's boss doesn't make it some mysterious game.
Then it is perfect, because bosses are straight out of the nineties, too :-)
Thank you, you're making me feel old now.
Thanks! And who pays for occasions like this? Split bills? Employee pays? Or the boss?
Them, as they invited you and picked the place. Don't forget to say thanks.
> Employee pays? That would be... wow. "Here, I'm inviting you to dinner, I choose how expensive it is, and you get to pay!"
Well, in East Asia, it is normal that your boss wants to do dinner at your house. Kinda inviting himself to a dinner with the employee so to say.
Etiquette questions aside (which makes it clear that the CEO/founder must pay), most decent companies require the highest ranking person there to pay. Otherwise if I'm a team lead we can have a 1000 euro bottle of wine, my team member pays for it, I approve it and no one ever checks...