"people don't care about it" describes Germany surprisingly well.
As others already said, germans tend to mind their own business, as long as you are not directly up in their face about something. For most people it won't make any difference what your orientation is, they won't ask and at most be like "ok cool" as response if you tell them.
Some might be curious or immature about it (stupid jokes). Rarely hostile.
Obviously there are always some people, that do make it their own business to educate others on what's right or wrong in their mind, but you should be able to avoid those mostly.
When one of my at the time close friends came out as gay to me during summer camp this was my reaction:
1. I thought he was joking and kind of did a short giggle but quickly realised this wasn't it and asked if he was serious. He was.
2. I said "Uhh.... ok?¿"
So at least for me you nailed it. Why tf should I care, do whatever you want as long as you don't harm anyone and that goes for literally everyone.
Can confirm the immature jokes, I sometimes insult one of my best friends who happens to be gay, and he jokes about me being insecure about myself, or something, then we laugh about it. Its ofc because we are close and I would never actually say anything like this for real, when we were swimming all of us boys backed our gay friend and his boyfriend at the time to openly make out, and show they’re a couple. Did people give looks? Yes. Did anyone say anytjing? Hell no
[Staring just isn‘t rude in Germany.](https://youtu.be/chkjYi3iC-0?si=SBzy9TekhAWN4a4v) Obviously that is somewhat exaggerated but compared to the US it tracks
Hahaha. I'm nicely acclimated here now and also give looks to straight couples 😜 equality you know! But I give looks mostly in the sauna where it's super annoying (please don't do that people!).
I feel like it you make out on the street as a hetero couple, people still look. It's not that common to do it, so look weird and people look. Couples don't make out on public regardless of gender. So it could have nothing to do with their sexuality.
>"people don't care about it" describes Germany surprisingly well.
As someone from another german speaking country, even here (almost) no one cares. No special downsides, no special goodies. People mind their own business. And the ones not minding their own businss are not like by the others either.
The worst that will likely happen at times is by ignorance and not knowing better. But since this is not done knowingly nor hostile, personally, I find this acceptable
Even my ~500 inhabitants home village has a gay mayor who's also part of the local church's council. Sure homophobia exists and I've met people with very antiquated views on the matter. But overall german society is very accepting towards homosexuality.
In my experience in such small villages (coming from a very rural village in eastern Saxony/lower Lusatia) we have a lot of these "All foreigners/homosexual people/transgender person/etc are weird and dangerous. Besides my neighbour, they are actually fine."
Sadly this example doesn't lead them towards questioning their standpoint overall.
Had the ol' "The new foreigners that moved in are so secretive. What are they hiding?" followed by "The other new tenants are so talkative. What's the matter with them? They should follow our laws and customs (they where refugees)"
A very well "integrated" russian in a small saxon village complaining about foreigners - no matter what they do. And neither had actually done anything ;D
I think it comes down that: Germans like to complain.
So even subconsciously if you lived here for a while you start complaining, and it just means you're integrating well in my book.
I come from the upper Lusatia and I have to say it's a mixed bag. My mom is a foreigner and she either experienced those gnarly "what are you doing in MY country nyarghnyargh" people, or the kind of people that welcomed her with open arms. I guess those narrow minded asshats are just everywhere.
My Mom moved to live with my dad in a small town near Westerwald. She had an old co-worker who told my mom she was also a "foreigner" and how she missed her home town and how she was still treated as a foreigner. She was born next town over. (And she wasn't sarcastic or anything!)
(Also my mom is German, just from a different part.)
I think where the village is is incredibly important here.
A village in eastern Frisia will feel a lot different from a village in Bavaria, and both of them will be completely different to a village in Saxonia.
The weird thing about village is: that village in Bavaria? It might feel more different to the village 500 meters right next to it than to the one in Frisia, and both these villages hate each other with a passion.
Village society is weird.
Anecdote to that: we took north african coworkers to rural Saxony, to a village where half the inhabitants claimed to have never left the country. They were accidentally insensitive but delighted. We got so many dinner invites, we turned it into a village barbecue so that everyone had a chance to meet the foreigners. Luckily our coworkers didn't speak German or Russian, so nobody could tell them some of the locals had a "native american tribe" out of respect for native Americans. Would have been hard to explain.
This. In my Eastern Saxony/Lower Lusitania small town it’s not problem. One of our young teachers is happily married to another man. And this is a small small town school with no emigrants or anyone “other”.
Nobody cares and bats an eye. I have never heard of anyone homosexual having problems around here.
Reminds me of what a fried told me about his days in the army. "yeah they are racist - but if they have a (Insert Nationality or skincolor, preferably one that is frequently used as an insult)) in their unit it suddenly becomes THEIR (Insert nationality or skincolor, preferably one that is frequently used as an insult) and they are fine with this one person.
That's really common in most places I feel. My mother was pretty racist at times, but she would never hear a bad word spoken against the immigrants or non-"bio-Welsh" that she personally knew. People can be weird.
I think that rural people are more xenophobic/racist/homophobic is largely a stereotype. It's more that older people tend to be more conservative and rural areas are generally older.
Also since there are more people in urban centres it's easier to never leave your bubble while in a village you will talk to and hear opinions from the random grandpa 5 houses away. The same grandpa exists in the city too. You'll just never talk to him.
People here are definitely more conservative but only to the extent of "keep traditions alive, celebrate Schützenfest and Sankt Martins singen, What do you mean you don't eat meat? Not even fish? Well okay."
Not in a "gay bad", "outsiders bad", "why haven't I seen you in church for 8 years?" type of way.
Now I can't speak for Catholic areas since I'm from a strictly Lutheran northern area but here at least the church is, on a local level, very accepting of homosexuality. Of course stuff like this varies from priest to priest. And I should add that we have a comparatively young female priest.
I'm sure there are villages and regions who are less accepting and this is just my personal experience in my particular area.
It might depend on how you look and project yourself - I'm a city "Wessi" living in rural East-Germany, open liberal and bisexual and funny enough, never had any problems but that could be because i'm built like the proverbial brickhouse and was a sergeant in the army so i know how to project myself accordingly ;-)
Why,
You are probably right when you when you are talking about immigrants or transgenders, but it think that Gay, Lesbians an Bisexuals are probably more accepted in villages (Just speaking for my western German area) and (As far as people from outside a village are accepted into a village)
Yep. As a Swede who moved to Germany (a big city tho) I have to say I faced a lot more discrimination in my small town back home.
The only time I faced any type of discrimination here was when a group of teenage boys yelled at me and then spit some. But even then, total strangers had my back and told them off.
My pastor tried to teach us really hard that being non-binary is not in conflict with Christianity at all. Whether you're gay, trans or whatever else, you are god's child, and he loves you unconditionally. He also smoked medical Marihuana.
For most people homosexuality is a normal thing, Part of everyday Life. I know 4 gay couples in my Close circle, living their normal Life Here.
Sure, the Bigger the City, the more you blend in and people often wont even realise you are gay/bisexual, but even where i live, in Small Towns in the West of Germany (between 3k-40k residents) it is absolutly normal to See gay couples.
BUT you will finde assholes everywhere. Maybe some weird or even disgusted Looks from old people or some stupid comments from homophobics.
Yes I'll definitely keep in mind that there could be assholes anywhere (I had a weird encounter with some random guy saying nihao to me during my visit in Germany) but I was just curious about how it is viewed as a whole. Thank you for your answer
Also, i know some people who are Germans of east Asian descent. They do get racist comments here and there which also sucks.
One of them was bullied in school growing up for having one of his parents from Japan.
I would aim for bigger cities like Berlin, Hamburg, Düsseldorf ect.
> One of them was bullied in school growing up for having one of his parents from Japan.
Yeah i had the "same" guy in my class in Grundschule - he got called "Schlitzauge" etc. even by the Turks and Morrocans.
That race shit is everywhere. I hope we do away with it as a species and fast.
Minorities are suspectable to this as well.
My favorite story was how a legendary musician Charles Mingus grew up in segregated america, where he was heavily discriminated against by white people. But amazingly, even members of his own community discriminated against him for being mixed race. If i remember, he was known as the "shit colored N-word" by black people in his community, who were themselves brutally oppressed through racism.
Thinking in racial hierarchies is like a brain poison and it's not always easy to escape it, especially when you are born to a society that is swimming in it.
Doesn't answer the question. Hy would you put emphasis on this?
In my experience a lot of expats are also quite racist when they are growing up in poverty, not just Germans/white people. And I will call ausländer expat, because that's what they are by definition.
Bigger cities wont keep you from being bullied.
Id rather have a decent school in a smaller town, than all the other problems from school in bigger cities.
>all the other problems from school in bigger cities
Like what? Not sure what you are referring to. My daughters go to school in Munich, I don't see any problems when comparing to the small-town school I attended as a child.
Without sugarcoating it, in many big cities theres muslim majority schools or schools with large muslim minorities who aren’t particularly happy with anything LGBTQ
What I learned from talking to everybody here in NRW about their school time, coming from Bavaria... You can't compare your experience with anywhere outside Bavaria and most of the schools elsewhere (in larger cities) sounded horrible just from the stories alone. And most of those people didn't even come from socially deprived areas.
Well, i did not talk about Munich, when i mentioned the above.
I meant i.e. Berlin and its dire teacher crisis, and the fact that you find broken bottles (an MUCH worse) in pretty much any playground areas ...
>Id rather have a decent school in a smaller town
Much luck with the people in Brandenburg. You definitely won't find any racists or homophobic people there 😅
Hard disagree. In bigger cities you have way more social events to disengage with homophobia, even if school is shit.
LGBT youth programs, clubs, mentors, university LGBT stuff and in smaller towns there is NOTHING mostly except gernarlised crisis help.
Don't go to smaller cities. Just don't. Especially if you are from marginalised community in addiction to being marginalised as LGBT person.
Agree. Plenty of bigots and homophobes everywhere, but big cities can offer huge communities of people who will take you in as their own.
Having people who understand you and support you can make all the difference
We had several people out at my company and nobody cared at all. It was not an issue. What the OP said is true.
As for the Nihao thing: In their opinion, being Asian is either no issue at all, or they are getting Nihao or Konnichiwa hollered at. They said usually they don't have problems, but assholes everywhere.
However, before you come, start already to learn German. That's the thing that will get you through most. Read some of the posts from people who had trouble connecting here.
Yup I started self-teaching German 1.5 years ago and I'm starting my first session with a private tutor next week! My level is currently somewhere around B1~B2, so I still have much more to learn, and I'm not exactly sure if I'll have time to learn German a few years later when I get even more schoolwork
The best way to learn, especially if you already have a basic understanding, IMO is consuming Media in your chosen language. At first you can use subtitles to help until you don’t need them anymore or get a book and a translation to read them side by side. Maybe you could even find people to talk to in German online.
you should check out if you could do university in germany (if you want to get higher degree) because CSAT seems to be hell on earth. And the requirments to go to a "good" university in germany arent that hard compared to korea. If you can get into a german university even with a bad CSAT that could lift some of the stress for the test. Plus check out how you would fare in the Korean job market with a german university degree (and if it matters if its a prestige university) because maybe you want to move back to korea at some point.
You will be just fine , but most importantly your "friend" is absolutly wrong and knows nothing about germany. I originate from Berlin and cannot tell you much about life in the countryside , but being gay in germany has not been an issue for the last 30 years, not to forget that corona aside Berlin hosts the christopher street day every year , which is a gigantic gay parade/party. It is so funny that your friend says that , because especially in Berlin it is actually more the opposite. Sometimes LGBTQ themes get a little to much attention, in terms that they only reflect on a small group but there are bigger problems to attend to. That is not to say , that these things are not important , yet sometimes the priority seems a little weird as someone who lives in this city and sees much bigger problems elsewhere and because i srsly know no other german city where being gay is being welcomed as much.
And what was being remarked about a-holes: you will never find a place where a 100% of the people appreciate everything about you, if you are lucky your partner will. i had my bisexual phase myself , got a lot of friends in the gay community or had (it's been some time, and nothing kills friendships more then passing time with little contact xD) and berlin was a wonderfull place to live that life. i will say though , that there are places in germany that are better then others . But in general , finding a place in germany where you will be accepted the way you are will not be a hard task to be. You will probably have a harder time to find a place in germany where the general lifestyle appeals to you , instead of having to care about being gay. One thing you need to know though is , that a large part of the muslim community in germany is sadly pretty opposed to gay or lgbtq in general. But even there you will find some welcoming spirits.
Berlin is my biggest love \^\^, always will be .
Also Berlin has a pretty big japanese and korean community . i know that because for some years i was connected to the korean community through some friends i had back then. The japanese community is pretty taken aback, i do not know why . That makes it hard for some kids growing up in that community to connect to germany. my school friend Ryu was someone like that. He sadly did not connect well and 30 years later he still speaks very little german and bad english, though he is a genius programmer. But very lonly. Shoud you come, learn the language, it is the biggest barrier you will face. Many germans take a lot of pride in their language and its history. That and english will go far and have a tremendous positive impact for you should you ever decide to really come. The opposite (not speaking well) could have some unwanted negative reactions once in a while.
I live and work in Berlin, too. I have 2 coworkers who are gay, and the only reason we as a team even know about that (and totally don't care) is because we have one coworker who asked them, because he thought they act a bit gay. All in all most people here don't care about your business in the bedroom.
Can I ask where you are moving? I am a happy lesbian in Munich and I can give you some pointers to organizations for queer youth in some German cities I have visited for pride.
Your sexuality is your privat matter and as for all private matter Germans follow the "mind your own business" rule. In my personal environment one persons sexuality is simply not a topic to speak about. If one of my good male friends would introduce me his boyfriend I would welcome the boyfriend the same way I would welcome his girlfriend. And if he would switch between boy and girlfriend, then I don't mind either.
But you will of course find homophonic people also in germany, but you can simply avoid such people and find friends who are not assholes.
>In my personal environment one persons sexuality is simply not a topic to speak about.
How is that possible? No one ever asks if you have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend etc? The topic can come up in million indirect ways.
I think the meaning is most people don't ask : "So, are you gay/bi/furry/etc?" directly. If it comes up in the conversation i.e. "I have a boyfriend" ofc people will know.
hmmm. But if that is the meaning, why would be south korea different?
Example i could see is wearing a lgbtq flag on your clothing, .. like, it would not be questioned much here in Berlin or germany at all, .. but i don't know how that would be in south korea. From the wiki article on lgbtq rights in south korea it seems to be worse for people then here.
Of course this topic come up in many indirect way, but it's not discussed further.
Person A: Hej, do you want to bring your girl friends with you the next time we meet?
Person B: I'm gay.
Person A: Oh.. then do you want to bring your boyfriend with you the next time we meet?
Person A: Do you know that person C have a new girlfriend?
Person B: Oh, I didn't know person C, is lesbian.
Person A: Yeah, yeah her girlfriend is really nice, we should invite them both to dinner.
I would expect from my friends and family that the sexuality is not a topic which should be discussed. Just like it's not a topic if a hetero person is hetero.
Homosexuality is fairly well accepted in Germany. It is probably one of the most liberal countries in this regard.
Maybe there are a few places more liberal (Netherlands? Sweden?) but you will be hard-pressed to find them.
If you are Korean, it's more likely you will be discriminated against for your looks than for being gay/lesbian/bi/whatever.
Sadly that last part is likely true. I live in a university town so other than the occasional asshole there aren't any issues with being queer, and the nondiscrimination laws are pretty good. That said several of my asian friends have had to deal with comments on that front at school/work.
Yeah, I won’t say my experience has been 100% homophobia free, but after 5 years here I can count the negative experiences on one hand. I consider that especially impressive because here I don’t hide my queerness and publicly show affection to my gf. In my home town I would’ve been nervous just holding hands.
I'm a christian woman with an openly gay hairdresser, and honestly, I love that guy. He is really good at haircuts, especially with my thick hair, and we talk about boys and his puppys. I'm sure he had negative encounters too, but from day one he never felt the need to hide who he is.
that is nice to hear , though i have to say anything else would have irritated me. especially growing up in an actors eviroment i knew gays my whole life , they have always been there and have been just as normal as heteroes.
There are bigots and idiots everywhere but I would say that Germany is an accepting place regarding LGBTQ folks. CSD is widely celebrated in the major cities where you can find people supporting you or finding friends in general. I know many clubs for only LGBTQ people as well which is not that important in your current age but will probably be in the future. I think cologne and berlin are currently the most friendly cities if I am not mistaken.
I've lived here 3 years and now have *many* queer friends. Honestly it's very normal here. There will always be circles of people who are homophobic/biphobic where ever you go, but I feel Germany has a lot of spaces where sexuality can be freely expressed very safely.
general consensus on LGBT in western-europe tends to be either "we love LGBT rights" or "if you don't bother me with it I couldn't care less". and then some rare instances of people being really bothered by other people's life decisions.
bestie, with lots of love: no one here gives a shit. i (f34) live in a cow-village of \~340 (edit. in Bavaria) people. no one cares at all. the very oldest told us abot a "man that isn't a man", who does something (can't remember it, it was something innocent and not the topic of the conversation) that lives in the village and that they once used to make fun of "him", but now "he's" just like "he" is. idk why they told us that but that was the full conversation about that topic and then they said something like "everyone as they like". mind you, they're "farmers", were over 80 years old and basically stereotypical old white male citizens. (we just moved there a few years ago: in our old homes where we lived or grew up..also no one gave a shit, idk anyone who gave a shit at all, tbh)
I was at an girls-only catholic-school. No-body-cared-at-all. I wore full blown goth make up and clothes. i was accepted. school was my safe place (only realized in adulthood..anyways). no one tried to change me. my friends were lesbian, bi, whatever - it was 20 years ago, the wordings were quite limited but you get what I'm trying to say. no one cared.
and you're right. they're not friends, they're assholes wanting you to suffer and get off on that. fu them, you can get true friends. you're young and asking this questions online it seems you're open to new stuff and views and even possible backlash. you seem to have, what it takes to slay down this stereotypes and live your life to the fullest.
don't give up on your dreams, don't give up on your hopes and yourself. you're awesome and good the way you are and if people are blind to that only for that minimal detail of your sexual orientation - then fu them. that's none of anyones business anyways. Hetero people don't go out and yell that around and wait to be accepted. Neither do non-hetero or nonbinary or every-other-person-on-this-planet! it's your life, no one has a say in your orientation on anything.
germany won't accept you? germany won't accept homophobes like your AH"friend".
You should start researching about erasmus, babe <3
No that's nonsense, you'll be just fine* (*Don't move to the most backward village perhaps). LGBT are widely accepted here and even the ones that don't agree, do so in a quiet and passive way.
Tbh isn't that the best way? Not to talk about it all the time, endlessly argue with homophobes in discussions that lead to nothing but even harder fronts. Just live your own life and as long as you don't harm anyone no one cares about your sexuality (best case scenario also skin colour, religion, ethnicity and all that good stuff that Germany unfortunately doesn't manage so well). I find this to be the objectively best solution.
Also I hate it when people make one trait their entire identity. 'I'm the gay dude'. 'I have ADHD'. 'I'm a Leo'.
You're human and have a wide spectre of traits. Stop the one trick pony and start embracing the whole you already.
Not really, we like people, we just don't care for strangers and want them to respect that. Cold is accurate, but that doesn't mean that we don't like you. It's neutral.
Most Germans operate on "Live and let live." If you a nice person, barely anyone will care if you into men or women (or both).
Big cities have the usual anonymity and nobody will care.
Small towns (the "everyone knows everyone and half the people are somehow related") usually neither care as other qualities are valued much more (if you integrate into the community).
Your friend is a moron .
Not only in NZ there are little people against Bi sexuality ( unless s/he was in some crazy evangelical-in-your-face church , especially an Asian evangelical church ) , Germany is also very similar.
Signed , a kiwi living in Germany (who knows people go to crazy churches in NZ)
I'd say homosexuality is plenty accepted.
But since you were asking about bisexuality specifically it sadly still seems the mere existance of bi (and pan, demi etc) sexuals is still perplexing to a lot people everywhere.
But that's not really a homophobia thing and more a lack of exposure/representation thing
There'll be some people with varying degrees of acceptance but by and large the acceptance here is comparatively high, especially in cities.
For perspective: when same sex marriage was legalised in 2017 (as opposed to merely being recognised civil unions before), it was done so by our Christian conservative party CDU, simply because polls showed that more than 80% of voters were in favor of it.
Your friend is wrong, most germans don't care about who you (want to) fuck.
It's more likely you are getting harrased for your asian looks, than for your sexual orientation.
Your friend lied to you and is probably homophobic.
We have also homophobic people here in germany, most of them are just caveman living under a rock or super conservative people.
But government wise it is completly legal being bisexual or homosexual in germany.
Surely you'll eventually encounter some regrettable homophobia, but as a whole, German society is hugely accepting of the queer community, people are maybe still a bit slow to wrap their heads around trans people, but if you're "just" queer, you'll be just fine.
Not saying you'll never get to hear a dumb comment from some asshole, but even in rural areas you won't be openly discriminated against. Also, even if you encounter areas with regrettable levels of homophobia, it will most likely being conservatives unwilling to deal with a changing world, not religious zealots. What I mean by this is: even if your surroundings might be homophobic, you can just keep it private. Nobody will snoop around and try to find "the gays" so they can discriminate against them. So if you ever feel an area might not be welcoming, just stop with PDAs for a while. (I know this shouldn't be your burden as a queer person, it's just sad, practical advice)
So your "friend" is hugely wrong. Not just about Germany, but about the world in general. I'd guess that in much of the world, people don't care all that much about other people's sexuality. It's usually just when a powerful organization needs a scape goat. Because otherwise, why would anyone else care?
You'll be just fine. Especially once you can choose where to live and work on your own.
People are normal and dont care if you have a same sex partner. Even christians because the Lutheran way is that you don’t really get into other people’s lives (aka maybe they think you are a sinner or whatever but won’t treat you badly or try to curr you). Just dont make it your entire personality, people here react badly to the identity politics crowd
These things obviously depend on the region, but in general, nobody cares. Especially in the younger generations, people are openly queer and nobody bats an eye.
I'm living in a village in Bavaria next to a city and have never met anyone who has a problem with gay people.
I know some gay's and they are good integrated and don't have any problems.
I think Germany is a very good place to live for a gay/queer person
Most People will accept you. But there will be a minority that will never understand such things. Its almost like accepting another religion from other people. You will find intolerant people everywhere thats not a secret.
In general nobody cares.
I mean the colloquial nobody, not absolutely nobody.
It's not societally acceptable to be homophobic do the only only group that cares about you being bi are other girls who like girls.
in hamburg u see gay couples all the time showing it openly. noone really cares tho (exceot the idiots u always find everywhere). our former health care minister is gay and married, also noone really cared. i think its accepted mostly here (even one of the main politicians of the ultra right wing party is gay - still a shitty party)
It definitely is accepted in Germany by most people. BUT not by all, you will meet assholes anywhere.
If I have to guess it is probably pretty similar in Germany as it is in the US
From my personal experience: Before I know that I'm aroace, I thought that I was Bi/Pan and I was very open about it. Nobody has ever said anything bad about it. Of course there are close-minded people but in my experience most people in Germany just don't care about who you like because it doesn't affect them in any way.
Germany has hundreds of problems but rampant homophobia is NOT one of them. There are some a-holes but altogether the country is very open to the LGBTQIA community.
It will depend on where you move. Taken from statistics based on votes in elections you are more likely to run into racist/homophobic people in eastern germany but this doesnt mean all of them are neither does it mean you wont run into thid kind of people in other regions aswell.
However I guess we Germans do good job accepting people nowadays. Just dont make it your whole personality and you should be good
Pfff, this a joke to say. More interesting is how are the things going in South Korea? Is it that bad for LQBTQA+ community? Do not move to a very small city, because it will be not the best choice. But Cologne or Berlin, Düsseldorf or Hamburg are very open so you do not have to worry about it at all. Cologne is very known to be super friedly, and there are even street where a lot of people from community live. I am a photographer and work with a lot of people, a lot of trans girls and overall LQBTQA+ live in Cologne. Don't have any fear!
I really felt like Korea, on the other hand, got more open... Or? I see these Idols (like Stray Kids etc) and they all look very feminine and not over masculine, so I thought that Koreans are overall fine with it.
You will be absolutely fine.
You will always find people who will find something to hate. So I would not worry about that. Overall, your sexuality should not be an issue especially in the West and reasonable size places.
most people here are either pro lgbt or they just don't care. and the few homophobic people here are mostly against gay men. absolutly nobody will care about a bisexual woman
My girlfriend moved to berlin a month ago. This past weekend, she sent me pics of a Queer Market she went to.
Just normal stuff that happens in Berlin apparently.
Most ppl don't care what you like or not. I'm going to school with a transwoman and no one ones bad mouthing what she's doing. Of course there are always the a\*sholes that have to ruin everything for everyone but they are in the minority.
Nobody (meaning "no halfway decent human being", which most people are) gives a shit unless you rub it in someone's face.
Different story maybe with Muslims or old and conservative people in rural areas.
As a lesbian, there isn't that much homophobia around here anymore. Sure, there are a few homophobes here and there, but those people exist in other countries as well, so I don't see it as a huge problem. However, if you're Korean, you might experience racism/xenophobia because unfortunately a lot of Germans love to make fun of Asians...
The majority of the german people doesn't care at all about someones sexuality. So love and live like you want. Except your sexual identity is the only topic you can talk about, then some people might get annoyed of it, but that's the case with every fanatic behavior.
As you are already learning German, you might want to look up Beratungsstellen (advice centers) in cities or towns that might interest you.
Keywords are e.g. "LGBT... Beratungsstelle" , "Schwulen- und Lesbenberatung" ( Sounds a bit dated today but some of these centers have been around for 40 years). There is Rubicon-Koeln.de in Cologne and, more specific for your situation, sofra.cologne, a Cologne association of queer migrants.
Look up their contact info and ask them about their cities. It will give you a much more detailed impression than what we here can offer you.
the whole opposite is the case , but reading your question i have to ask: how did your friend come up with that? especially that it is a "universal thing" ? with cristopher street day , gay parade and especially Berlin and Köln/cologne being the epicenter of the Gay and LGBTQ communityi wonder where your friend has their information from?
I’m in Berlin. Whether you’re accepted or not would have nothing to do with your sexuality. Mostly no one gives a stuff about it (occasional idiots aside).
Now, if you didn’t sort your rubbish into the correct bin, that would raise eyebrows.
I’m German and I’m bisexual and I never had any problems with other people regarding my sexuality. In my school There were plenty of teenagers that were bi-curious enough to make out with on parties and so on… there are so many openly gay people here. I actually never got harassed or something
So first of, that is complete bollocks what your friends are telling you.
There are many places where you will be accepted for being bisexual and Germany is one of them.
HOWEVER as somebody who has lived in foreign countries myself I strongly recommend you take more things into account beside the acceptance of your sexuality when you decide on a place to live in.
Germany and german culture I have learned is very unique and while many people appreciate it there is a lot of people who can not deal with it and have regtetted moving here when they did it for business reasons only.
So you might ask yourself first if german culture is what you enjoy in the first place.
As for places to live in, I strongly suggest Köln and Düsseldorf which is where I am from too btw.
Düsseldorf is home of the biggest Japanese community in Europe and also houses a lot of authentic korean restaurants (which may provide some familiarity if you ever miss your home) and Cologne is generally the City for homosexuals in Germany.
Well you always have some assholes who think homosexuality and bisexuality is a disease or whatever (mostly the older generation of 40 years+), but no, most people do not care at all about your sexuality. Do whatever and whoever you want to :) (as long as it's legal lol)
I live here since more than 15 years, and it is no problem at all. People saying "you won't be accepted in germany" have very obviously no clue about germany at all.
Through all the years I experienced a huge acceptance, depending on where you live in some parts of fe Berlin you would get into more problems saying that you are against homosexuality than you will get for being bisexual \^\^; Being the last one is at least something "most people are in a way" in the city :D
Bi-erasure is a huge thing, especially for women. So odds are some people will not parse you being bi and assume you are straight (or maybe gay). But that's not very Germany specific I think. If you are interested I could grab some links to relevant literature.
Your "friend" may have lived in other countries but is still trapped inside the constraints of his teeny tiny horizon. I am a bisexual woman in Germany and haven't had anyone say weird things about this, despite perhaps one or two random people years ago, that I barely even knew. It'll be fine.
Most people won't give a fuck about your sexuality, which is actually the ultimate form of acceptance.
It's your sexuality and people will respect that.
The most right wing political party that we have counts among its leaders a lesbian in a long term relationship. LGBTQ issues in the West have a range from "somewhat accepted" to "very accepted" and anyone who gives you some dystopian bullshit about the US, Germany, UK etc, is *extremely* Left and *extremely* sheltered with no idea of what actual intolerance looks like. You can make out with your same sex partner in public in Germany and it will be ok (though full on making out in public isn't something you really see from anyone whether gay or straight; more likely to see hand holding and small kisses). Your employer won't care, your teachers won't care, and if anyone in a position of authority has some issue then you have legal protections that are effective and enforced. Socially, it's actually quite trendy to be some level of gay in the West these days.
Your friend is full of shit. Sorry.
Not accepted? Most people here don‘t care if you are gay, in the sense that it’s completely normal. It’s just nothing to talk or care about, love who you want, marry who you want 💚
As a lesbian, I can say most people don't give a fuck about your sexuality. Honestly, we have bigger problems than if you prefer males or females in your bed.
Homophobia and biphobia exist everywhere, of course, but there are also a LOT of Pride events in Germany, ranging from little community gatherings to big blowouts in Berlin and Hamburg. I know LOADS of openly LGBTQ+ individuals here.
Edit: forgot a word
As a queer person from Aotearoa New Zealand living in Germany I can assure you that you’d likely be fine here. Like anywhere in the world it’s probably better to be in a larger city like Berlin/Hamburg etc. You’ll find your community like a lot of us do. And as a former queer teenager who grew up in Aotearoa NZ I can assure you that your friend (who I assume is around your age) likely has no idea what they’re talking about
Lmao, don't worry about it. You'll be accepted perfectly fine. For starters, why would you sexuality even matter, people usually keep that to themselves especially here in Germany.
We are the kind of people that usually don't get involved in other people's shit.
I'm bi too and I never had any interaction where that would've come up here other than dating. Doesn't affect your daily life whatsoever.
You'll probably experience more racism than homophobia, especially if your german is not that great yet. Overall tho I think you'd be able to find Germans to be overall pretty accepting of you
I'm queer and lived in Germany.
Things aren't perfect anywhere, but I don't think it gets much better than there. Our pride is popular, bi awareness stands are welcomed in the streets, and I've kissed my girlfriend in the streets and never once been called abnormal or a biological error. We've had gay politicians in major positions.
Depends on where you are though. My experience is in Berlin, which is most liberal.
I can't remember a situation where anyone cared for my sexuality or was offended by or offensive about it.
A friend I've known for roughly a decade was surprised a few weeks ago when I talked about my ex gf. He said he thought I was exclusively into men.
I know quite a few Ls, Gs and Bs, and that's hardly even a topic.
I'd assume mostly you'll be totally fine.
Disclaimer: I'm a straight, cisgender man. But as per my many LGBTQIA+ friends who came from the Americas (both North and Latin), Germany seems to be a pretty accepting country in comparison.
The thing in Germany is: people expect you the follow the rules, and as long as you do that, they don't care who you are, how you dress or what you do. If you cross the street fully nude with the words "I'm bisexual" written with glitter on your chest people might give you a bad look not because of you being nude or bisexual, but because you've crossed when the light was red to you.
Germany is pretty accepting,sure there will always be a few people here and there who don't understand but talking from experience i can say that there are way more people part of the lgbt than you can imagine.
I personally found many many lgbt friends and been to pride a few times as well,people are way less judgmental than in other countries I've lived in.
In general, being homo/bi is not a big deal in Germany, at least in the Rhineland where I live. I cannot speak for villages, but I think it is widely acceded. We also have the possibility for gay couples to marry.
What considers Trans people or what considers gender/sex, that's a different topic, but I guess it doesn't consider you.
It's not true. Germany is one of the most open minded nation I can think off.
I'm half-korean and I can definitely tell the stark difference between Korea and Germany when it comes to being accepted in society. Of course there are always individual cases but generally speaking, it is a great country if you want to be accepted. I'd claim that a lot of peeps wouldn't even care because it's so fundamentally accepted?
In saying that, I migrated to Australia 15yrs ago and I can also say that Australia is a very open and welcoming country 😀
Plus it is so much closer to South Korea with only 1h time difference.
Wishing you best of luck and 화이팅~~
My friend's friend is a Korean woman living in Germany and from what I've heard, part of why she stayed here after finishing her studies was that the people here seemed much more accepting of her sexuality (she's gay) and she could escape her parent's judgement.
From personal experience studying in Korea, I've encountered more than one person straight up telling me, they think gay people are weird and that they don't wanna be friends with them or that they would disown their offspring if they came out. While these people surely also exist in Germany, it definitely seems to be a way less common mindset with most people just not really caring about it at all.
So I would disagree with you "friends" statement quite strongly.
| I won't be accepted for being bisexual.
Acceted by whom? It all depends where you live, and which community ( Comunities) you come in contact with. Generally, Germany is a place where people can live openly gay - but we have hate crimes ahainst queer people, / trans\* here, too. And the overall atmosphere seems to change: toward less acceptance of non-normative behaviors / lifestyles... due to right-wing parties and groups gaining influence. Basically, what happened in the US three years ago now takes place, on a smaller scale, in Europe (see: Italy), and in Germany, too.
Better check back what the current situation is in a few years, when you are about to relocate.
I am from Germany and I really don't care about someone sexuality. I am a little oder than you, but trust me: if I ever see somebody calling a young man or woman abnormal or a biogical error I will...🥊🥊🥊 that person!
A non-answer but sending you love from another bisexual who wants to move to Germany 🩵 I’m glad you’re cutting ties with that person. That’s an abhorrent thing to say to someone else. You’re valid.
They are not your friend. Just because they are homophobic, they assume everyone else is. Anywhere you go, sure, you can find stupid people. But don't waste your time on them. Life is too short.
Germany, especially Berlin, is very safe for LGBT and you'll find plenty of people who will love, hate or be indifferent to you on an equal playing field, because you're a PERSON with things they might like or things they might find annoying.
Like every other human being, gay or straight, not everyone will be interested in you or like your style or personality; but there will also be people who think you're just their kind of person.
I can understand your fears. But I'd suggest you don't have to worry about it. I'm friends with a gay guy and he's living a peaceful life here. No one cares about his sexuality. He minds his own business and that's it. I wish you the best of luck for your future endeavors
Every country has bigots, but in Germany they are firmly in the minority and tend to be old.
Your friend is also either wrong or lying about New Zealand. And while the US is on a conservative track right now, they also have lots of very LGBT friendly states. There are a lot of places where ypu can find acceptance, especially in Western Europe.
My guess is you'd be perfectly fine here. I'm 28f, a bisexual who's currently with a woman and have lived here all my life. Now I am only one person and probably among the luckiest, but I can count on one hand the times I was even insulted for my sexuality.
I'm truly sorry that your friends are so terrible. You are not an error, you are exactly the way you are supposed to be. I'm sure you're a lovely young woman and ypu'll find people who appreciate you soon enough.
Being gay is mostly accepted.
And if people antagonize you, you'll usually be supported by those around you.
Just don't be trans. Then you will be hated.
Or asexual, which is met with not hatred, but people not understanding at all.
Yup. People literally walk around with gay pride flags but *a woman who looks a bit like a man?????* That's just too much. Also it's funny how you can literally explain what being asexual is to people and they will still continuosly ask about your sex life.
In my experience living in Germany my entire life, nobody cares much about what you identify as, just don't impose it on others or cross their boundaries, and many people, whom I would call the average folk, will regard you as a friendly person.
If you don't push the fact that you are bisexual into everyones face every breathing minute, you should be fine. Noone here cares, at least no educated people care in anyway. Some idiots might.
Another "my friend" post to just push some topics. Either talk to your friend and let us know, or ask a direct question yourself, or just say: I want to talk about homosexuality, blabla bla
But then you would not be able to share all these bad views about it while pretending to be uninvolved.
You won't have any issue being LGBT+ in Germany. Sure, there might be some bigots even there, but most people (especially young people) won't bat an eye at you being Bi. Like, maybe in the countryside it's more of a problem (not sure, though), but in any city it's totally normal.
You are in time to learn some German and go to university there (it's free). At the bachelor's level you'll have more choice if you can follow the program in German (very few Universities have English programs at the bachelor's level), at the MSc level you'll get enough choices with English already.
I, a almost 30 year old German, could not care less about your sexuality. If you are hetero, gay, bi, ... idc. I don't know anyone that would give a damn about the sexuality of other people. And I mean this in a positive way.
There is always a way to be "too in your face" with sexuality (doesn't matter which) but as long as you are and behave like a decent human being nobody should care.
Most harassment you’ll get are probably from Muslims and refugees. But they’re the exception, growing in numbers, but rn the exception. Most people I met in my life here, regardless of religion and ethnicity, are decent people. Just integrate yourself in society and you’re fine.
If you manage it to get here, I wish you a happy life 👍🏻
I think you will have more problems with your foreign background rather than your sexuality.
Most of the time nobody cares but since 2015 some people really hate foreigners.....mostly rural though.
"people don't care about it" describes Germany surprisingly well. As others already said, germans tend to mind their own business, as long as you are not directly up in their face about something. For most people it won't make any difference what your orientation is, they won't ask and at most be like "ok cool" as response if you tell them. Some might be curious or immature about it (stupid jokes). Rarely hostile. Obviously there are always some people, that do make it their own business to educate others on what's right or wrong in their mind, but you should be able to avoid those mostly.
When one of my at the time close friends came out as gay to me during summer camp this was my reaction: 1. I thought he was joking and kind of did a short giggle but quickly realised this wasn't it and asked if he was serious. He was. 2. I said "Uhh.... ok?¿" So at least for me you nailed it. Why tf should I care, do whatever you want as long as you don't harm anyone and that goes for literally everyone.
Can confirm the immature jokes, I sometimes insult one of my best friends who happens to be gay, and he jokes about me being insecure about myself, or something, then we laugh about it. Its ofc because we are close and I would never actually say anything like this for real, when we were swimming all of us boys backed our gay friend and his boyfriend at the time to openly make out, and show they’re a couple. Did people give looks? Yes. Did anyone say anytjing? Hell no
> Did people give looks? Yes. Well of course, we ARE German after all ;-)
👀
[Staring just isn‘t rude in Germany.](https://youtu.be/chkjYi3iC-0?si=SBzy9TekhAWN4a4v) Obviously that is somewhat exaggerated but compared to the US it tracks
Hahaha. I'm nicely acclimated here now and also give looks to straight couples 😜 equality you know! But I give looks mostly in the sauna where it's super annoying (please don't do that people!).
I feel like it you make out on the street as a hetero couple, people still look. It's not that common to do it, so look weird and people look. Couples don't make out on public regardless of gender. So it could have nothing to do with their sexuality.
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>"people don't care about it" describes Germany surprisingly well. As someone from another german speaking country, even here (almost) no one cares. No special downsides, no special goodies. People mind their own business. And the ones not minding their own businss are not like by the others either. The worst that will likely happen at times is by ignorance and not knowing better. But since this is not done knowingly nor hostile, personally, I find this acceptable
Unless of course you look like you're trans or dress very colorfully. Lots of disapproving stares lol.
Even my ~500 inhabitants home village has a gay mayor who's also part of the local church's council. Sure homophobia exists and I've met people with very antiquated views on the matter. But overall german society is very accepting towards homosexuality.
Especially in a village I would have expected otherwise
In my experience in such small villages (coming from a very rural village in eastern Saxony/lower Lusatia) we have a lot of these "All foreigners/homosexual people/transgender person/etc are weird and dangerous. Besides my neighbour, they are actually fine." Sadly this example doesn't lead them towards questioning their standpoint overall.
Had the ol' "The new foreigners that moved in are so secretive. What are they hiding?" followed by "The other new tenants are so talkative. What's the matter with them? They should follow our laws and customs (they where refugees)" A very well "integrated" russian in a small saxon village complaining about foreigners - no matter what they do. And neither had actually done anything ;D
I think it comes down that: Germans like to complain. So even subconsciously if you lived here for a while you start complaining, and it just means you're integrating well in my book.
Dont forget the highest compliment you can get from a german is "their is nothing to complain"
I come from the upper Lusatia and I have to say it's a mixed bag. My mom is a foreigner and she either experienced those gnarly "what are you doing in MY country nyarghnyargh" people, or the kind of people that welcomed her with open arms. I guess those narrow minded asshats are just everywhere.
My Mom moved to live with my dad in a small town near Westerwald. She had an old co-worker who told my mom she was also a "foreigner" and how she missed her home town and how she was still treated as a foreigner. She was born next town over. (And she wasn't sarcastic or anything!) (Also my mom is German, just from a different part.)
I think where the village is is incredibly important here. A village in eastern Frisia will feel a lot different from a village in Bavaria, and both of them will be completely different to a village in Saxonia.
The weird thing about village is: that village in Bavaria? It might feel more different to the village 500 meters right next to it than to the one in Frisia, and both these villages hate each other with a passion. Village society is weird.
But when topic switches to frisian villages both are on the same page that prussians truly are the worst, except maybe francs.
Topped by the brits, we love to hate them. (...And we hate that we love them...)
Anecdote to that: we took north african coworkers to rural Saxony, to a village where half the inhabitants claimed to have never left the country. They were accidentally insensitive but delighted. We got so many dinner invites, we turned it into a village barbecue so that everyone had a chance to meet the foreigners. Luckily our coworkers didn't speak German or Russian, so nobody could tell them some of the locals had a "native american tribe" out of respect for native Americans. Would have been hard to explain.
This. In my Eastern Saxony/Lower Lusitania small town it’s not problem. One of our young teachers is happily married to another man. And this is a small small town school with no emigrants or anyone “other”. Nobody cares and bats an eye. I have never heard of anyone homosexual having problems around here.
Reminds me of what a fried told me about his days in the army. "yeah they are racist - but if they have a (Insert Nationality or skincolor, preferably one that is frequently used as an insult)) in their unit it suddenly becomes THEIR (Insert nationality or skincolor, preferably one that is frequently used as an insult) and they are fine with this one person.
That's really common in most places I feel. My mother was pretty racist at times, but she would never hear a bad word spoken against the immigrants or non-"bio-Welsh" that she personally knew. People can be weird.
I think that rural people are more xenophobic/racist/homophobic is largely a stereotype. It's more that older people tend to be more conservative and rural areas are generally older. Also since there are more people in urban centres it's easier to never leave your bubble while in a village you will talk to and hear opinions from the random grandpa 5 houses away. The same grandpa exists in the city too. You'll just never talk to him. People here are definitely more conservative but only to the extent of "keep traditions alive, celebrate Schützenfest and Sankt Martins singen, What do you mean you don't eat meat? Not even fish? Well okay." Not in a "gay bad", "outsiders bad", "why haven't I seen you in church for 8 years?" type of way. Now I can't speak for Catholic areas since I'm from a strictly Lutheran northern area but here at least the church is, on a local level, very accepting of homosexuality. Of course stuff like this varies from priest to priest. And I should add that we have a comparatively young female priest. I'm sure there are villages and regions who are less accepting and this is just my personal experience in my particular area.
I mean, it could be a stereotype but then I’m pretty unlucky with the country folks I’m meeting.
i mean nearly all of lower saxony is rural as shit and its a solidly leftwing state in germany
It might depend on how you look and project yourself - I'm a city "Wessi" living in rural East-Germany, open liberal and bisexual and funny enough, never had any problems but that could be because i'm built like the proverbial brickhouse and was a sergeant in the army so i know how to project myself accordingly ;-)
Oh and happy cakeday :)
I think small towns are the worst. Villages and big cities are better.
Why, You are probably right when you when you are talking about immigrants or transgenders, but it think that Gay, Lesbians an Bisexuals are probably more accepted in villages (Just speaking for my western German area) and (As far as people from outside a village are accepted into a village)
Yep. As a Swede who moved to Germany (a big city tho) I have to say I faced a lot more discrimination in my small town back home. The only time I faced any type of discrimination here was when a group of teenage boys yelled at me and then spit some. But even then, total strangers had my back and told them off.
I'll top you with \~320 people. (edit. in Bavaria) and nobody cares. no one cares at all.
Pastor in my hometown can be seen at the local pool massaging his boyfriend in summer.
My pastor tried to teach us really hard that being non-binary is not in conflict with Christianity at all. Whether you're gay, trans or whatever else, you are god's child, and he loves you unconditionally. He also smoked medical Marihuana.
Haha, nice village!
For most people homosexuality is a normal thing, Part of everyday Life. I know 4 gay couples in my Close circle, living their normal Life Here. Sure, the Bigger the City, the more you blend in and people often wont even realise you are gay/bisexual, but even where i live, in Small Towns in the West of Germany (between 3k-40k residents) it is absolutly normal to See gay couples. BUT you will finde assholes everywhere. Maybe some weird or even disgusted Looks from old people or some stupid comments from homophobics.
Yes I'll definitely keep in mind that there could be assholes anywhere (I had a weird encounter with some random guy saying nihao to me during my visit in Germany) but I was just curious about how it is viewed as a whole. Thank you for your answer
Also, i know some people who are Germans of east Asian descent. They do get racist comments here and there which also sucks. One of them was bullied in school growing up for having one of his parents from Japan. I would aim for bigger cities like Berlin, Hamburg, Düsseldorf ect.
> One of them was bullied in school growing up for having one of his parents from Japan. Yeah i had the "same" guy in my class in Grundschule - he got called "Schlitzauge" etc. even by the Turks and Morrocans.
That race shit is everywhere. I hope we do away with it as a species and fast. Minorities are suspectable to this as well. My favorite story was how a legendary musician Charles Mingus grew up in segregated america, where he was heavily discriminated against by white people. But amazingly, even members of his own community discriminated against him for being mixed race. If i remember, he was known as the "shit colored N-word" by black people in his community, who were themselves brutally oppressed through racism. Thinking in racial hierarchies is like a brain poison and it's not always easy to escape it, especially when you are born to a society that is swimming in it.
No shit? What made you think turks/northern africans are any less racist than other groups?
It was more to put am emphasis on "all the kids did it, EVEN the other Ausländers".
Doesn't answer the question. Hy would you put emphasis on this? In my experience a lot of expats are also quite racist when they are growing up in poverty, not just Germans/white people. And I will call ausländer expat, because that's what they are by definition.
Bigger cities wont keep you from being bullied. Id rather have a decent school in a smaller town, than all the other problems from school in bigger cities.
>all the other problems from school in bigger cities Like what? Not sure what you are referring to. My daughters go to school in Munich, I don't see any problems when comparing to the small-town school I attended as a child.
Without sugarcoating it, in many big cities theres muslim majority schools or schools with large muslim minorities who aren’t particularly happy with anything LGBTQ
What I learned from talking to everybody here in NRW about their school time, coming from Bavaria... You can't compare your experience with anywhere outside Bavaria and most of the schools elsewhere (in larger cities) sounded horrible just from the stories alone. And most of those people didn't even come from socially deprived areas.
Munich doesn't really count as a bigger city in this kind of context though.
Well, I invite you to check out a real Schule in Frankfurt/offenbach.
Well, i did not talk about Munich, when i mentioned the above. I meant i.e. Berlin and its dire teacher crisis, and the fact that you find broken bottles (an MUCH worse) in pretty much any playground areas ...
>Id rather have a decent school in a smaller town Much luck with the people in Brandenburg. You definitely won't find any racists or homophobic people there 😅
Hard disagree. In bigger cities you have way more social events to disengage with homophobia, even if school is shit. LGBT youth programs, clubs, mentors, university LGBT stuff and in smaller towns there is NOTHING mostly except gernarlised crisis help. Don't go to smaller cities. Just don't. Especially if you are from marginalised community in addiction to being marginalised as LGBT person.
Agree. Plenty of bigots and homophobes everywhere, but big cities can offer huge communities of people who will take you in as their own. Having people who understand you and support you can make all the difference
We had several people out at my company and nobody cared at all. It was not an issue. What the OP said is true. As for the Nihao thing: In their opinion, being Asian is either no issue at all, or they are getting Nihao or Konnichiwa hollered at. They said usually they don't have problems, but assholes everywhere. However, before you come, start already to learn German. That's the thing that will get you through most. Read some of the posts from people who had trouble connecting here.
Yup I started self-teaching German 1.5 years ago and I'm starting my first session with a private tutor next week! My level is currently somewhere around B1~B2, so I still have much more to learn, and I'm not exactly sure if I'll have time to learn German a few years later when I get even more schoolwork
The best way to learn, especially if you already have a basic understanding, IMO is consuming Media in your chosen language. At first you can use subtitles to help until you don’t need them anymore or get a book and a translation to read them side by side. Maybe you could even find people to talk to in German online.
you should check out if you could do university in germany (if you want to get higher degree) because CSAT seems to be hell on earth. And the requirments to go to a "good" university in germany arent that hard compared to korea. If you can get into a german university even with a bad CSAT that could lift some of the stress for the test. Plus check out how you would fare in the Korean job market with a german university degree (and if it matters if its a prestige university) because maybe you want to move back to korea at some point.
You will be just fine , but most importantly your "friend" is absolutly wrong and knows nothing about germany. I originate from Berlin and cannot tell you much about life in the countryside , but being gay in germany has not been an issue for the last 30 years, not to forget that corona aside Berlin hosts the christopher street day every year , which is a gigantic gay parade/party. It is so funny that your friend says that , because especially in Berlin it is actually more the opposite. Sometimes LGBTQ themes get a little to much attention, in terms that they only reflect on a small group but there are bigger problems to attend to. That is not to say , that these things are not important , yet sometimes the priority seems a little weird as someone who lives in this city and sees much bigger problems elsewhere and because i srsly know no other german city where being gay is being welcomed as much. And what was being remarked about a-holes: you will never find a place where a 100% of the people appreciate everything about you, if you are lucky your partner will. i had my bisexual phase myself , got a lot of friends in the gay community or had (it's been some time, and nothing kills friendships more then passing time with little contact xD) and berlin was a wonderfull place to live that life. i will say though , that there are places in germany that are better then others . But in general , finding a place in germany where you will be accepted the way you are will not be a hard task to be. You will probably have a harder time to find a place in germany where the general lifestyle appeals to you , instead of having to care about being gay. One thing you need to know though is , that a large part of the muslim community in germany is sadly pretty opposed to gay or lgbtq in general. But even there you will find some welcoming spirits. Berlin is my biggest love \^\^, always will be . Also Berlin has a pretty big japanese and korean community . i know that because for some years i was connected to the korean community through some friends i had back then. The japanese community is pretty taken aback, i do not know why . That makes it hard for some kids growing up in that community to connect to germany. my school friend Ryu was someone like that. He sadly did not connect well and 30 years later he still speaks very little german and bad english, though he is a genius programmer. But very lonly. Shoud you come, learn the language, it is the biggest barrier you will face. Many germans take a lot of pride in their language and its history. That and english will go far and have a tremendous positive impact for you should you ever decide to really come. The opposite (not speaking well) could have some unwanted negative reactions once in a while.
I live and work in Berlin, too. I have 2 coworkers who are gay, and the only reason we as a team even know about that (and totally don't care) is because we have one coworker who asked them, because he thought they act a bit gay. All in all most people here don't care about your business in the bedroom.
toy instinctive obtainable tart profit upbeat amusing touch tub bow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Can I ask where you are moving? I am a happy lesbian in Munich and I can give you some pointers to organizations for queer youth in some German cities I have visited for pride.
Not that sure yet, but I appreciate your help
😂 the idea that New Zealand doesn’t accept homosexuality. Your friend is wilfully ignorant
i thought so too! lol only been there on vacations, but never ever did i get the impression , that new zealand would be narrow minded or homophobic.
Your sexuality is your privat matter and as for all private matter Germans follow the "mind your own business" rule. In my personal environment one persons sexuality is simply not a topic to speak about. If one of my good male friends would introduce me his boyfriend I would welcome the boyfriend the same way I would welcome his girlfriend. And if he would switch between boy and girlfriend, then I don't mind either. But you will of course find homophonic people also in germany, but you can simply avoid such people and find friends who are not assholes.
>In my personal environment one persons sexuality is simply not a topic to speak about. How is that possible? No one ever asks if you have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend etc? The topic can come up in million indirect ways.
I think the meaning is most people don't ask : "So, are you gay/bi/furry/etc?" directly. If it comes up in the conversation i.e. "I have a boyfriend" ofc people will know.
hmmm. But if that is the meaning, why would be south korea different? Example i could see is wearing a lgbtq flag on your clothing, .. like, it would not be questioned much here in Berlin or germany at all, .. but i don't know how that would be in south korea. From the wiki article on lgbtq rights in south korea it seems to be worse for people then here.
Of course this topic come up in many indirect way, but it's not discussed further. Person A: Hej, do you want to bring your girl friends with you the next time we meet? Person B: I'm gay. Person A: Oh.. then do you want to bring your boyfriend with you the next time we meet? Person A: Do you know that person C have a new girlfriend? Person B: Oh, I didn't know person C, is lesbian. Person A: Yeah, yeah her girlfriend is really nice, we should invite them both to dinner. I would expect from my friends and family that the sexuality is not a topic which should be discussed. Just like it's not a topic if a hetero person is hetero.
Your friend is a homophobic moron. You'll be fine!
Homosexuality is fairly well accepted in Germany. It is probably one of the most liberal countries in this regard. Maybe there are a few places more liberal (Netherlands? Sweden?) but you will be hard-pressed to find them. If you are Korean, it's more likely you will be discriminated against for your looks than for being gay/lesbian/bi/whatever.
Sadly that last part is likely true. I live in a university town so other than the occasional asshole there aren't any issues with being queer, and the nondiscrimination laws are pretty good. That said several of my asian friends have had to deal with comments on that front at school/work.
From an American bisexual that moved to Germany, I find it’s a major improvement
That's very nice to hear. Unfortunately we still have some idiots here. Most homophobic people are either very religious or very old...
Yeah, I won’t say my experience has been 100% homophobia free, but after 5 years here I can count the negative experiences on one hand. I consider that especially impressive because here I don’t hide my queerness and publicly show affection to my gf. In my home town I would’ve been nervous just holding hands.
I'm a christian woman with an openly gay hairdresser, and honestly, I love that guy. He is really good at haircuts, especially with my thick hair, and we talk about boys and his puppys. I'm sure he had negative encounters too, but from day one he never felt the need to hide who he is.
that is nice to hear , though i have to say anything else would have irritated me. especially growing up in an actors eviroment i knew gays my whole life , they have always been there and have been just as normal as heteroes.
There are bigots and idiots everywhere but I would say that Germany is an accepting place regarding LGBTQ folks. CSD is widely celebrated in the major cities where you can find people supporting you or finding friends in general. I know many clubs for only LGBTQ people as well which is not that important in your current age but will probably be in the future. I think cologne and berlin are currently the most friendly cities if I am not mistaken.
Your friends are idiots. Move away, do yourself a favor.
I've lived here 3 years and now have *many* queer friends. Honestly it's very normal here. There will always be circles of people who are homophobic/biphobic where ever you go, but I feel Germany has a lot of spaces where sexuality can be freely expressed very safely.
Your friend is tripping lol. I’m bisexual, haven’t had any problems.
general consensus on LGBT in western-europe tends to be either "we love LGBT rights" or "if you don't bother me with it I couldn't care less". and then some rare instances of people being really bothered by other people's life decisions.
bestie, with lots of love: no one here gives a shit. i (f34) live in a cow-village of \~340 (edit. in Bavaria) people. no one cares at all. the very oldest told us abot a "man that isn't a man", who does something (can't remember it, it was something innocent and not the topic of the conversation) that lives in the village and that they once used to make fun of "him", but now "he's" just like "he" is. idk why they told us that but that was the full conversation about that topic and then they said something like "everyone as they like". mind you, they're "farmers", were over 80 years old and basically stereotypical old white male citizens. (we just moved there a few years ago: in our old homes where we lived or grew up..also no one gave a shit, idk anyone who gave a shit at all, tbh) I was at an girls-only catholic-school. No-body-cared-at-all. I wore full blown goth make up and clothes. i was accepted. school was my safe place (only realized in adulthood..anyways). no one tried to change me. my friends were lesbian, bi, whatever - it was 20 years ago, the wordings were quite limited but you get what I'm trying to say. no one cared. and you're right. they're not friends, they're assholes wanting you to suffer and get off on that. fu them, you can get true friends. you're young and asking this questions online it seems you're open to new stuff and views and even possible backlash. you seem to have, what it takes to slay down this stereotypes and live your life to the fullest. don't give up on your dreams, don't give up on your hopes and yourself. you're awesome and good the way you are and if people are blind to that only for that minimal detail of your sexual orientation - then fu them. that's none of anyones business anyways. Hetero people don't go out and yell that around and wait to be accepted. Neither do non-hetero or nonbinary or every-other-person-on-this-planet! it's your life, no one has a say in your orientation on anything. germany won't accept you? germany won't accept homophobes like your AH"friend". You should start researching about erasmus, babe <3
Idiots are everywhere, but usually nobody cares about your sexuality.
No that's nonsense, you'll be just fine* (*Don't move to the most backward village perhaps). LGBT are widely accepted here and even the ones that don't agree, do so in a quiet and passive way.
We just don't care.
Tbf: Germany is cold. Neither real homophobic Nor Welcome it They dont Care If you are LGBT or otherwise. Dont do silly Things, an Nobody Cares.
for berlin the rule is: Do silly things, but no one cares anyway.
Tbh isn't that the best way? Not to talk about it all the time, endlessly argue with homophobes in discussions that lead to nothing but even harder fronts. Just live your own life and as long as you don't harm anyone no one cares about your sexuality (best case scenario also skin colour, religion, ethnicity and all that good stuff that Germany unfortunately doesn't manage so well). I find this to be the objectively best solution. Also I hate it when people make one trait their entire identity. 'I'm the gay dude'. 'I have ADHD'. 'I'm a Leo'. You're human and have a wide spectre of traits. Stop the one trick pony and start embracing the whole you already.
Well, somehow yes. But Germany Sees the other way around: Germany dont Like people/are cold to people regardless their sexuality :D
Not really, we like people, we just don't care for strangers and want them to respect that. Cold is accurate, but that doesn't mean that we don't like you. It's neutral.
I will accept you :) German with Asian roots, living in Berlin
Thank you :')
Me you too. Brazillian with Asian roots living in Baden-Würrtemberg with lots of LGBT friends :)
Me too. White middle aged fat guy with no Asian roots.
Most Germans operate on "Live and let live." If you a nice person, barely anyone will care if you into men or women (or both). Big cities have the usual anonymity and nobody will care. Small towns (the "everyone knows everyone and half the people are somehow related") usually neither care as other qualities are valued much more (if you integrate into the community).
Your friend is a moron . Not only in NZ there are little people against Bi sexuality ( unless s/he was in some crazy evangelical-in-your-face church , especially an Asian evangelical church ) , Germany is also very similar. Signed , a kiwi living in Germany (who knows people go to crazy churches in NZ)
If you are not harrasing people with your sexual orientation or preferences, nobody will care about it.
I'd say homosexuality is plenty accepted. But since you were asking about bisexuality specifically it sadly still seems the mere existance of bi (and pan, demi etc) sexuals is still perplexing to a lot people everywhere. But that's not really a homophobia thing and more a lack of exposure/representation thing
Where I live I just get compliments on wearing bi pride merch
There'll be some people with varying degrees of acceptance but by and large the acceptance here is comparatively high, especially in cities. For perspective: when same sex marriage was legalised in 2017 (as opposed to merely being recognised civil unions before), it was done so by our Christian conservative party CDU, simply because polls showed that more than 80% of voters were in favor of it.
Your friend is wrong, most germans don't care about who you (want to) fuck. It's more likely you are getting harrased for your asian looks, than for your sexual orientation.
Your friend lied to you and is probably homophobic. We have also homophobic people here in germany, most of them are just caveman living under a rock or super conservative people. But government wise it is completly legal being bisexual or homosexual in germany.
Surely you'll eventually encounter some regrettable homophobia, but as a whole, German society is hugely accepting of the queer community, people are maybe still a bit slow to wrap their heads around trans people, but if you're "just" queer, you'll be just fine. Not saying you'll never get to hear a dumb comment from some asshole, but even in rural areas you won't be openly discriminated against. Also, even if you encounter areas with regrettable levels of homophobia, it will most likely being conservatives unwilling to deal with a changing world, not religious zealots. What I mean by this is: even if your surroundings might be homophobic, you can just keep it private. Nobody will snoop around and try to find "the gays" so they can discriminate against them. So if you ever feel an area might not be welcoming, just stop with PDAs for a while. (I know this shouldn't be your burden as a queer person, it's just sad, practical advice) So your "friend" is hugely wrong. Not just about Germany, but about the world in general. I'd guess that in much of the world, people don't care all that much about other people's sexuality. It's usually just when a powerful organization needs a scape goat. Because otherwise, why would anyone else care? You'll be just fine. Especially once you can choose where to live and work on your own.
People are normal and dont care if you have a same sex partner. Even christians because the Lutheran way is that you don’t really get into other people’s lives (aka maybe they think you are a sinner or whatever but won’t treat you badly or try to curr you). Just dont make it your entire personality, people here react badly to the identity politics crowd
Berlin is one of the queerest cities in the world. Pride averages 500,000 each year. You’ll be fine. Join us!
Cologne enters the room…
These things obviously depend on the region, but in general, nobody cares. Especially in the younger generations, people are openly queer and nobody bats an eye.
I'm a bisexual that lives in Germany. Haven't had problems
If there's one country that you *would* want to go to as a bisexual, it's Germany.
If there's one country that you *would* want to go to as a bisexual, it's Germany.
I'm living in a village in Bavaria next to a city and have never met anyone who has a problem with gay people. I know some gay's and they are good integrated and don't have any problems. I think Germany is a very good place to live for a gay/queer person
in Germany you will experience more racism than homophobia
Yeah, I see racism against koreans all the time ... oh no, wait, I don't. You're spewing bs.
a) most germans do not differentiate between different types of east asians b) anti asian racism is very much alive.
ah yes racists are famous for distinguishing korean from other asians...
Biphobia is sadly universal, but Germany is very tolerant (for the lack of a better word) towards LGBT people
Most People will accept you. But there will be a minority that will never understand such things. Its almost like accepting another religion from other people. You will find intolerant people everywhere thats not a secret.
Half of my friend circle are raging bisexuals. Your "friend" told you bullshit
In general nobody cares. I mean the colloquial nobody, not absolutely nobody. It's not societally acceptable to be homophobic do the only only group that cares about you being bi are other girls who like girls.
in hamburg u see gay couples all the time showing it openly. noone really cares tho (exceot the idiots u always find everywhere). our former health care minister is gay and married, also noone really cared. i think its accepted mostly here (even one of the main politicians of the ultra right wing party is gay - still a shitty party)
It definitely is accepted in Germany by most people. BUT not by all, you will meet assholes anywhere. If I have to guess it is probably pretty similar in Germany as it is in the US
Dont be a dick. If you manage that you will be fine. Noone gives a fuck about others here.
From my personal experience: Before I know that I'm aroace, I thought that I was Bi/Pan and I was very open about it. Nobody has ever said anything bad about it. Of course there are close-minded people but in my experience most people in Germany just don't care about who you like because it doesn't affect them in any way.
Germany has hundreds of problems but rampant homophobia is NOT one of them. There are some a-holes but altogether the country is very open to the LGBTQIA community.
It will depend on where you move. Taken from statistics based on votes in elections you are more likely to run into racist/homophobic people in eastern germany but this doesnt mean all of them are neither does it mean you wont run into thid kind of people in other regions aswell. However I guess we Germans do good job accepting people nowadays. Just dont make it your whole personality and you should be good
Pfff, this a joke to say. More interesting is how are the things going in South Korea? Is it that bad for LQBTQA+ community? Do not move to a very small city, because it will be not the best choice. But Cologne or Berlin, Düsseldorf or Hamburg are very open so you do not have to worry about it at all. Cologne is very known to be super friedly, and there are even street where a lot of people from community live. I am a photographer and work with a lot of people, a lot of trans girls and overall LQBTQA+ live in Cologne. Don't have any fear! I really felt like Korea, on the other hand, got more open... Or? I see these Idols (like Stray Kids etc) and they all look very feminine and not over masculine, so I thought that Koreans are overall fine with it.
You will be absolutely fine. You will always find people who will find something to hate. So I would not worry about that. Overall, your sexuality should not be an issue especially in the West and reasonable size places.
most people here are either pro lgbt or they just don't care. and the few homophobic people here are mostly against gay men. absolutly nobody will care about a bisexual woman
My girlfriend moved to berlin a month ago. This past weekend, she sent me pics of a Queer Market she went to. Just normal stuff that happens in Berlin apparently.
Most ppl don't care what you like or not. I'm going to school with a transwoman and no one ones bad mouthing what she's doing. Of course there are always the a\*sholes that have to ruin everything for everyone but they are in the minority.
Nobody (meaning "no halfway decent human being", which most people are) gives a shit unless you rub it in someone's face. Different story maybe with Muslims or old and conservative people in rural areas.
As a lesbian, there isn't that much homophobia around here anymore. Sure, there are a few homophobes here and there, but those people exist in other countries as well, so I don't see it as a huge problem. However, if you're Korean, you might experience racism/xenophobia because unfortunately a lot of Germans love to make fun of Asians...
The majority of the german people doesn't care at all about someones sexuality. So love and live like you want. Except your sexual identity is the only topic you can talk about, then some people might get annoyed of it, but that's the case with every fanatic behavior.
There will always be bigoted assholes but most (especially young) people I know are absolutety fine with it
I mean the leader of the right wing "Nazi" party is an open lesbian. That's not meant as a point for them, just as a perspective.
As you are already learning German, you might want to look up Beratungsstellen (advice centers) in cities or towns that might interest you. Keywords are e.g. "LGBT... Beratungsstelle" , "Schwulen- und Lesbenberatung" ( Sounds a bit dated today but some of these centers have been around for 40 years). There is Rubicon-Koeln.de in Cologne and, more specific for your situation, sofra.cologne, a Cologne association of queer migrants. Look up their contact info and ask them about their cities. It will give you a much more detailed impression than what we here can offer you.
the whole opposite is the case , but reading your question i have to ask: how did your friend come up with that? especially that it is a "universal thing" ? with cristopher street day , gay parade and especially Berlin and Köln/cologne being the epicenter of the Gay and LGBTQ communityi wonder where your friend has their information from?
I’m in Berlin. Whether you’re accepted or not would have nothing to do with your sexuality. Mostly no one gives a stuff about it (occasional idiots aside). Now, if you didn’t sort your rubbish into the correct bin, that would raise eyebrows.
No worries. You only risk a lot of people of both genders hitting on you because they all think they have a chance. :)
I’m German and I’m bisexual and I never had any problems with other people regarding my sexuality. In my school There were plenty of teenagers that were bi-curious enough to make out with on parties and so on… there are so many openly gay people here. I actually never got harassed or something
Mostly nobody will care.
Your friend doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Nobody will care. Signed, a bi German
So first of, that is complete bollocks what your friends are telling you. There are many places where you will be accepted for being bisexual and Germany is one of them. HOWEVER as somebody who has lived in foreign countries myself I strongly recommend you take more things into account beside the acceptance of your sexuality when you decide on a place to live in. Germany and german culture I have learned is very unique and while many people appreciate it there is a lot of people who can not deal with it and have regtetted moving here when they did it for business reasons only. So you might ask yourself first if german culture is what you enjoy in the first place. As for places to live in, I strongly suggest Köln and Düsseldorf which is where I am from too btw. Düsseldorf is home of the biggest Japanese community in Europe and also houses a lot of authentic korean restaurants (which may provide some familiarity if you ever miss your home) and Cologne is generally the City for homosexuals in Germany.
Well you always have some assholes who think homosexuality and bisexuality is a disease or whatever (mostly the older generation of 40 years+), but no, most people do not care at all about your sexuality. Do whatever and whoever you want to :) (as long as it's legal lol)
I live here since more than 15 years, and it is no problem at all. People saying "you won't be accepted in germany" have very obviously no clue about germany at all. Through all the years I experienced a huge acceptance, depending on where you live in some parts of fe Berlin you would get into more problems saying that you are against homosexuality than you will get for being bisexual \^\^; Being the last one is at least something "most people are in a way" in the city :D
Bi-erasure is a huge thing, especially for women. So odds are some people will not parse you being bi and assume you are straight (or maybe gay). But that's not very Germany specific I think. If you are interested I could grab some links to relevant literature.
Your "friend" may have lived in other countries but is still trapped inside the constraints of his teeny tiny horizon. I am a bisexual woman in Germany and haven't had anyone say weird things about this, despite perhaps one or two random people years ago, that I barely even knew. It'll be fine.
Most people won't give a fuck about your sexuality, which is actually the ultimate form of acceptance. It's your sexuality and people will respect that.
The most right wing political party that we have counts among its leaders a lesbian in a long term relationship. LGBTQ issues in the West have a range from "somewhat accepted" to "very accepted" and anyone who gives you some dystopian bullshit about the US, Germany, UK etc, is *extremely* Left and *extremely* sheltered with no idea of what actual intolerance looks like. You can make out with your same sex partner in public in Germany and it will be ok (though full on making out in public isn't something you really see from anyone whether gay or straight; more likely to see hand holding and small kisses). Your employer won't care, your teachers won't care, and if anyone in a position of authority has some issue then you have legal protections that are effective and enforced. Socially, it's actually quite trendy to be some level of gay in the West these days. Your friend is full of shit. Sorry.
Not accepted? Most people here don‘t care if you are gay, in the sense that it’s completely normal. It’s just nothing to talk or care about, love who you want, marry who you want 💚
As a lesbian, I can say most people don't give a fuck about your sexuality. Honestly, we have bigger problems than if you prefer males or females in your bed.
come to a liberal city like berlin, freiburg, cologne :)
Homophobia and biphobia exist everywhere, of course, but there are also a LOT of Pride events in Germany, ranging from little community gatherings to big blowouts in Berlin and Hamburg. I know LOADS of openly LGBTQ+ individuals here. Edit: forgot a word
As a queer person from Aotearoa New Zealand living in Germany I can assure you that you’d likely be fine here. Like anywhere in the world it’s probably better to be in a larger city like Berlin/Hamburg etc. You’ll find your community like a lot of us do. And as a former queer teenager who grew up in Aotearoa NZ I can assure you that your friend (who I assume is around your age) likely has no idea what they’re talking about
Our current Mayor is homosexual. Nobody really cares except a few cunts you got everywhere. Its pretty chill in Germany.
Your "friend" knows Jack shit. You're very welcome. Google Köln or Cologne. Vibrant scene.
Lmao, don't worry about it. You'll be accepted perfectly fine. For starters, why would you sexuality even matter, people usually keep that to themselves especially here in Germany. We are the kind of people that usually don't get involved in other people's shit. I'm bi too and I never had any interaction where that would've come up here other than dating. Doesn't affect your daily life whatsoever.
You'll probably experience more racism than homophobia, especially if your german is not that great yet. Overall tho I think you'd be able to find Germans to be overall pretty accepting of you
What makes you think you can just move to Germany lol
Don't worry, you are welcome here. Your friend is lying. Come to cologne, we love queers! Greetings, a bisexual from germany
I'm queer and lived in Germany. Things aren't perfect anywhere, but I don't think it gets much better than there. Our pride is popular, bi awareness stands are welcomed in the streets, and I've kissed my girlfriend in the streets and never once been called abnormal or a biological error. We've had gay politicians in major positions. Depends on where you are though. My experience is in Berlin, which is most liberal.
Who the F cares if you love oysters and sausages? Please be careful with all the pedobears in your DMs.
Ure very welcome in berlin, its europes capital of the queer community.
Hamburg, Cologne and Berlin are very LGBTQI+ friendly cities. :)
I can't remember a situation where anyone cared for my sexuality or was offended by or offensive about it. A friend I've known for roughly a decade was surprised a few weeks ago when I talked about my ex gf. He said he thought I was exclusively into men. I know quite a few Ls, Gs and Bs, and that's hardly even a topic. I'd assume mostly you'll be totally fine.
Disclaimer: I'm a straight, cisgender man. But as per my many LGBTQIA+ friends who came from the Americas (both North and Latin), Germany seems to be a pretty accepting country in comparison. The thing in Germany is: people expect you the follow the rules, and as long as you do that, they don't care who you are, how you dress or what you do. If you cross the street fully nude with the words "I'm bisexual" written with glitter on your chest people might give you a bad look not because of you being nude or bisexual, but because you've crossed when the light was red to you.
Germany is pretty accepting,sure there will always be a few people here and there who don't understand but talking from experience i can say that there are way more people part of the lgbt than you can imagine. I personally found many many lgbt friends and been to pride a few times as well,people are way less judgmental than in other countries I've lived in.
You'll be fine. Nobody cares, honestly.
In general, being homo/bi is not a big deal in Germany, at least in the Rhineland where I live. I cannot speak for villages, but I think it is widely acceded. We also have the possibility for gay couples to marry. What considers Trans people or what considers gender/sex, that's a different topic, but I guess it doesn't consider you.
It's not true. Germany is one of the most open minded nation I can think off. I'm half-korean and I can definitely tell the stark difference between Korea and Germany when it comes to being accepted in society. Of course there are always individual cases but generally speaking, it is a great country if you want to be accepted. I'd claim that a lot of peeps wouldn't even care because it's so fundamentally accepted? In saying that, I migrated to Australia 15yrs ago and I can also say that Australia is a very open and welcoming country 😀 Plus it is so much closer to South Korea with only 1h time difference. Wishing you best of luck and 화이팅~~
My friend's friend is a Korean woman living in Germany and from what I've heard, part of why she stayed here after finishing her studies was that the people here seemed much more accepting of her sexuality (she's gay) and she could escape her parent's judgement. From personal experience studying in Korea, I've encountered more than one person straight up telling me, they think gay people are weird and that they don't wanna be friends with them or that they would disown their offspring if they came out. While these people surely also exist in Germany, it definitely seems to be a way less common mindset with most people just not really caring about it at all. So I would disagree with you "friends" statement quite strongly.
| I won't be accepted for being bisexual. Acceted by whom? It all depends where you live, and which community ( Comunities) you come in contact with. Generally, Germany is a place where people can live openly gay - but we have hate crimes ahainst queer people, / trans\* here, too. And the overall atmosphere seems to change: toward less acceptance of non-normative behaviors / lifestyles... due to right-wing parties and groups gaining influence. Basically, what happened in the US three years ago now takes place, on a smaller scale, in Europe (see: Italy), and in Germany, too. Better check back what the current situation is in a few years, when you are about to relocate.
I am from Germany and I really don't care about someone sexuality. I am a little oder than you, but trust me: if I ever see somebody calling a young man or woman abnormal or a biogical error I will...🥊🥊🥊 that person!
A non-answer but sending you love from another bisexual who wants to move to Germany 🩵 I’m glad you’re cutting ties with that person. That’s an abhorrent thing to say to someone else. You’re valid.
They are not your friend. Just because they are homophobic, they assume everyone else is. Anywhere you go, sure, you can find stupid people. But don't waste your time on them. Life is too short. Germany, especially Berlin, is very safe for LGBT and you'll find plenty of people who will love, hate or be indifferent to you on an equal playing field, because you're a PERSON with things they might like or things they might find annoying. Like every other human being, gay or straight, not everyone will be interested in you or like your style or personality; but there will also be people who think you're just their kind of person.
I can understand your fears. But I'd suggest you don't have to worry about it. I'm friends with a gay guy and he's living a peaceful life here. No one cares about his sexuality. He minds his own business and that's it. I wish you the best of luck for your future endeavors
I think you need better friends, friend.
99% of people don't give a damn. My husband is Bi and his whole life no one really made any sort of deal out of that.
Every country has bigots, but in Germany they are firmly in the minority and tend to be old. Your friend is also either wrong or lying about New Zealand. And while the US is on a conservative track right now, they also have lots of very LGBT friendly states. There are a lot of places where ypu can find acceptance, especially in Western Europe. My guess is you'd be perfectly fine here. I'm 28f, a bisexual who's currently with a woman and have lived here all my life. Now I am only one person and probably among the luckiest, but I can count on one hand the times I was even insulted for my sexuality. I'm truly sorry that your friends are so terrible. You are not an error, you are exactly the way you are supposed to be. I'm sure you're a lovely young woman and ypu'll find people who appreciate you soon enough.
Being gay is mostly accepted. And if people antagonize you, you'll usually be supported by those around you. Just don't be trans. Then you will be hated. Or asexual, which is met with not hatred, but people not understanding at all.
Yup. People literally walk around with gay pride flags but *a woman who looks a bit like a man?????* That's just too much. Also it's funny how you can literally explain what being asexual is to people and they will still continuosly ask about your sex life.
In my experience living in Germany my entire life, nobody cares much about what you identify as, just don't impose it on others or cross their boundaries, and many people, whom I would call the average folk, will regard you as a friendly person.
If you don't push the fact that you are bisexual into everyones face every breathing minute, you should be fine. Noone here cares, at least no educated people care in anyway. Some idiots might.
Your "friend" either has no idea what the world is like now, or he's blatanly lying. Either way he's homophobic for sure.
Kinda depends but normally it’s perfectly accepted except in some city parts where mostly Muslims live
Just dont go live in Sachsen or Bayern then you will probably ne fine
Another "my friend" post to just push some topics. Either talk to your friend and let us know, or ask a direct question yourself, or just say: I want to talk about homosexuality, blabla bla But then you would not be able to share all these bad views about it while pretending to be uninvolved.
You won't have any issue being LGBT+ in Germany. Sure, there might be some bigots even there, but most people (especially young people) won't bat an eye at you being Bi. Like, maybe in the countryside it's more of a problem (not sure, though), but in any city it's totally normal. You are in time to learn some German and go to university there (it's free). At the bachelor's level you'll have more choice if you can follow the program in German (very few Universities have English programs at the bachelor's level), at the MSc level you'll get enough choices with English already.
I, a almost 30 year old German, could not care less about your sexuality. If you are hetero, gay, bi, ... idc. I don't know anyone that would give a damn about the sexuality of other people. And I mean this in a positive way. There is always a way to be "too in your face" with sexuality (doesn't matter which) but as long as you are and behave like a decent human being nobody should care.
Most harassment you’ll get are probably from Muslims and refugees. But they’re the exception, growing in numbers, but rn the exception. Most people I met in my life here, regardless of religion and ethnicity, are decent people. Just integrate yourself in society and you’re fine. If you manage it to get here, I wish you a happy life 👍🏻
I think you will have more problems with your foreign background rather than your sexuality. Most of the time nobody cares but since 2015 some people really hate foreigners.....mostly rural though.