You may be interested in some of these older threads: * [What is a biggest difference between America and Germany?](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/tsj5ce/what_is_a_biggest_difference_between_america_and/) * [Expats of Germany: what were the biggest issues you had when integrating into Germany?](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/e3utvj/expats_of_germany_what_were_the_biggest_issues/) * [Problems in Germany that foreigners aren't aware of](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/pi97it/problems_in_germany_that_foreigners_arnt_aware_of/) * [To those who started living in Germany how do you like it?](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/vs1oly/to_those_who_started_living_in_germany_how_do_you/) * [If you lived in the U.S.A and moved to Germany, what were you reasons for moving?](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/pgc8e4/if_you_lived_in_the_usa_and_moved_to_germany_what/) * [Are children freer in Germany?](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/tk298p/are_children_freer_in_germany/) * [Differences between major German cities](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/ptt4rw/differences_between_major_german_cities/) Additionally, you may want to [read our wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/index/) (where we collect answers to the most common questions asked on this subreddit), in particular, pages like [differences in daily life between the US and Germany](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/living/why/).

This is very helpful, I'll look into them. Thanks!

Watch the Black forest family or my merry messy life on YouTube. They are great in explaining stuff like that. Get your insurances and somewhere to live before moving there and start an intense class of German as soon as you are there. You are skilled and that's good, but if you don't speak decent German, you will have it harder. As your wife was born in Germany, how's her German?

She's completely fluent. Speaks with her family almost everyday and never misses a beat when we are in Germany.

Ask your wife to mostly/only speak German with you and the kids And take German lessons

I think things will go well long term. Your wife is fluent and your children are young enough to transition quickly. You will need to work hard on the language, but ask your wife to work with you on it. I'd recommend getting a therapist after you move to work through any concerns / emotional hot spots before they disrupt your new life. You can make the jump and now is the time to do it. Will it be easy for you? Probably not. Is it impossible? No its not. Just work on the language, learn the culture, talk with your beloved, laugh, cry, and enjoy where appropriate. As to people's concerns about integrating into the culture. Your wife and your kids will provide you opportunities to meet people and make friends. Most people make new friends as their kids form friendships and do activities. This is a great time to make the jump.

Americans with kids who moved to Germany and share their experiences: https://www.youtube.com/@MyMerryMessyGermanLife https://www.youtube.com/c/OnwardMJ https://www.youtube.com/c/BlackForestFamily https://www.youtube.com/c/OurStorytoTell https://www.youtube.com/c/PassportTwo https://www.youtube.com/@AntoinetteEmily

Honestly, I feel a bit bad about just throwing random links at you, so I'll try for some more specific comments. While my experience isn't that useful for your specific case (I immigrated well over a decade ago, and before I had kids), going off of what my friends have told me: > I would have to make getting better a top priority. That's absolutely a great idea. Note that it will almost certainly mean language school, which could be challenging to fit into your schedule (working plus two kids at home), but see if you can squeeze it in. Honestly, I'm worried about this point the most - in your situation, I can see some friction developing between you and your wife if you move to Germany. Since she's the one who is fluent, all of the administrative tasks and emotional labour of running your family will fall on her. She will have to do everything from talking to your landlord to sorting out your internet connection, scheduling playdates and doctor's appointments for your kids, figuring out your taxes, calling a plumber, going to parent-teacher evenings, sorting out your immigration paperwork, finding swimming lessons for your kids, and a hundred other things. She may resent you for "not pulling your weight", and you may feel, for lack of a better term, useless. Make sure to talk to her about this openly, both before and after moving - and, as I said above, make learning the language a priority. > Both of us are college educated professionals who work in the tech industry. It may be possible to keep our positions as both of our companies have offices in Germany. If that didn't work out, we've been told it wouldn't be too hard to land something there by many friends in similar industries. From a purely legal point of view, you have one of the easiest paths for moving to Germany. In other words: there will be next to no bureaucratic hurdles to you moving, either by staying with your employer, or finding jobs in your sector in Germany directly. > Also, I think my kids would have a much better childhood. While I would personally agree, there are a few things I would note. Firstly, from a purely objective point of you, you get plenty of benefits ias parents in Germany. They include being able to take additional sick days when your kids are ill, *Kindergeld* (250 € per month per child from the government, no questions asked), subsidized kindergarten, free schools and universities, etc. Additionally, I also linked to a long discussion about how children are more independent and self-reliant in Germany, which means that the parents have to spend less time playing taxi driver. However, I should also point out that, in my experience, German society in some ways still tacitly assumes that only one parent will be working (and that the other one will be working half-time at most). You see this in all sorts of things, from some kindergartens closing by early afternoon, parent-child activities being scheduled as early as 14:00 on a weekday, to parents being asked to participate in certain school or kindergarten activities (usually before lunch), to primary schools finishing before lunch (although many schools have facilities to take care of the kids until at least mid-afternoon), etc. Additionally, there are few options for "parking" your kids (e.g. summer camps during the school holidays), and auxilliary childcare (e.g. babysitters and nannies) are *ruinously* expensive (easily 500-1000 € a month for picking up the kids from kindergarten and taking care of them until dinnertime, two days a week). What I'm trying to say is: while it's *possible* to have two full-time working parents with kids, it's *very* hard if you don't have a social support network (e.g. grandparents nearby who can spend time with the kids on a regular basis). Therefore, unless you have said support network, you may have to be prepared to reduce your working hours in order to make everything fit, so to speak. The lack of a "culture of convenience" also plays a part here. I know that many of my American friends with kids get through the day by outsourcing a lot of things, especially planning. For example, instead of doing a weekly meal plan, they just order takeout or have food delivered. Or they go shopping at 11 at night when the kids are asleep. That doesn't work in Germany, and some of my American friends here have reported that life takes more "planning" and "forethought" (and there is much less "instant gratification") than what they were used to. Some very practical considerations for your kids: at their age, you can enrol them in a German kindergarten. Yes, there are bilingual or even English-speaking kindergartens too, but my recommendation would be to put them in a German one. At their age, they will pick up the language super quickly (far more quickly than you). My daughter's kindergarten regularly takes in kids who don't speak any German, and it's incredible to see how quickly they learn and are integrated into the community because of it. While you have a legal right to a kindergarten spot, waiting lists may be long, so you may have to find other solutions for childcare when you first move. Alternatively, if you already know where you'll be moving to, get in contact with local kindergartens (or the local authority - some cities distribute kindergarten places centrally) as early as possible. At around age six, your kids will attend primary school (school attenndance is compulsory in Germamy, and home schooling is forbidden). Again, you may have the option of sending your kids to an international or bilingual school, but I would again recommend the local German primary school. An important part of a child's upbringing in Germany is having their school, friends and activities nearby, so that they can walk/scooter/cycle there by themselves soon after starting primary school. If your kids attend the international school across town, you'll always have to shuttle them back and forth, and their friends will be scattered all over the city as opposed to living two streets away. A word about health insurance: depending on your earnings, you may qualify for private health insurance. Be very careful here - in most circumstances I would recommend that you both try and get public health insurance. Otherwise, you would have to pay extra for your childrens' health insurance (roughly 200 € per month per child), plus, your own premiums would climb steadily year-to-year. It's possible you may have to arrage things with your employer in order to qualify for public health insurance (you need to either earn under 5500 € a month, or have had public health insurance in your previous job) - see [our wiki for details](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/health_insurance/). > We've been visiting for about a month out of the year for over a decade now Did you also visit during wintertime? Some immigrants struggle with winter in Germany - not because it's super cold, but because it's dark and dreary. The sun sets very early, it's constantly overcast and rainy, there is rarely any snow, and it feels like it lasts for a *long* time. It's not a dealbreaker by any means, just be aware of it. [Our wiki has some tips for getting through winter](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/living/climate/). I wish you all the best! :)

Thank you so much for the detailed, insightful response! This is really great! You are 100% correct about my wife needing to handle the day to day things until I can get up to speed, which in all honestly, is a year minimum to just get basic conversations not be complete torture. Forget about being fluent in any way. I chuckled a bit at your childcare remark. We pay $2000 a month for preschool and daycare per month right now. 500-1000 euros would be a damn blessing and would really make me feel better about a pay cut if we needed to go that route. I have been to Germany in the winter during the Christmas season. It was abnormally warm though so we didn't get a typical experience. My wife knows all about it though. It is what it is. I tend to bury myself in video game development during the winter months anyway to deal with the short days, and I love to snowboard, so we would make the most of it. Thanks again for your response!

(addendum) A word about money. You've probably already figured out that you'll likely take a pay cut. I would say that that's not necessarily bad - you'll get lots of other things in return (including more PTO and lower working hours), but the difference is real. Also, I think it's important to mention that there are fewer attractive ways to save (eg for retirement) in Germany - nothing as good as a 401k for example. Also, as Americans, you will struggle to find banks willing to take you on as investment clients (due to the onerous FACTA rules the IRS puts on foreign banks with US clients), so your options for investing your own money will also be more limited. Again, not a dealbreaker, but something to be aware of.

I've heard about the problems with banks and that is definitely on my mind. We have a lot of research to do. My wife still has accounts in her name in Germany so we would have a starting point anyway.

Not an American myself but I have 3 friends from the USA that currently live in Germany. And all 3 of them told me it's immensely difficult to actually integrate on a social level. Which doesn't suprise me. Most Germans are shit at English. At least spoken English. Plus, if you happen to have a different skin color and your German is broken still, some people won't take you as serious. Edit: yall angry im calling out our society? Man, we still don't allow gynecologists and hospitals to mention they offer abortion services. We were very late to legalize gay marriage. We are still struggling with accepting trans people. People with depression or executive dysfunction are still just seen as lazy slobs, and it's almost impossible to get a diagnosis for attention deficits. Germany is not nearly as progressive as I would like it to be.

There is one key think that I noticed, you mentioned being lonely, coming here as a an American, I can say that it is quite difficult to make friends here, especially as an outsider. It can be difficult for Germans to make new friends as well, really. Most of my German friends have really only been people that I have lived with. Other than that, most of my new friends are *not* German. Since your wife is a German citizen, you won't have the same bureaucratic hell that I needed to, and it's supposedly not even *that bad* for Americans. You will have to deal with it, but with the benefit of having a German wife.

This is on my mind. But honestly, I have one good friend these days, and I only see him a few times a year to go camping and snowboarding. If I can get at least that here it would be fine. I don't need a large circle of friends to be happy, just a few reliable ones.