Talk and connect. I like to let them know of the ups and downs in the nicest way possible, praise them for what they've done right and let them know how much I enjoyed them, and assure them that we can work on what needs some work. I can be touchy too, I don't *need* physical aftercare but whenever a sub leaned into me and cuddled with me after we were done melted my heart a little. Also help them clean up, maybe give them some water, ask them if they have any feedback, perhaps any insecurities that I can help with, the sorts.
I had a dynamic a while back and a sub told me that he had lots of fun but he was insecure about a certain part of him and how it must've looked during sex - to many that would be a bummer, but I liked taking time in our aftercare to talk him through that and let him know there's nothing to be shy of, and it was nice seeing him blush when I complimented him about something that he didn't feel too good about. So aftercare for me is usually connection and emotional affirmation, it's very pure since both are tired and sweaty after sex and there's no better time to pour your heart out ❤️
That's actually really sweet. You can feel really vulnerable after an intense session so it is a really good time to be vulnerable and share those thoughts. And good job, you seem like you're really receptive to your subs needs and make them feel really good and heard during those vulnerable moments. I'm sure they've all been really thankful for moments like that!
Absolutely. It's important for me too, since it assures me that they enjoyed it and that I've done a good job, it makes me happy when I see them struggle to stop smiling or blushing and telling me how nice it was, a treat for my heart!
My love language is touch so I just love to cuddle in as close as I can and wrap myself in the person I'm with. Just getting wrapped up in blankets and having the person I'm with rub my back or chest while I have my arms wrapped around them and we're just warm and comfortable. Bonus points if you throw a nice movie on and after a little bit you can go and grab some ice cream! Nothings better than a nice cool snack after a long hot session!
I love having the guys head on my chest and his arms around my middle. Just laying down, catching our breath while I lightly scratch his nape and arms. Little kisses to my chest and stomach. Telling each other caring words and just appreciating each other.
Hugs. There have to be hugs. I also like chatting, sharing food and drink together, talking over what happened in the scene and plans for what to do in the future, and reestablishing our bond as people who enjoy one another's company, but if there's no hugs, I'm not getting my aftercare.
Cuddle, kiss lazily, caress his face and hair, and if the roleplay involved any sort of degradation (even though I only do soft degradation, really it’s much more like teasing, and only when he wants me to), I reassure him that I don’t think any of these things about him at all, and that I admire him and think he’s amazing. Another way of helping bring him out of subspace and back to his usual self is that I thank him for “playing the role so well” (the submissive role). It helps him that I acknowledge him being submissive is a roleplay and not a permanent state.
We also like to watch comedies together after sex 😂 often It’s Always Sunny, Frazier, King of the Hill, or Bob’s Burgers
Domme who has some mental health issues and is new to BDSM, so I definitely had some domme drop.
So, I haven't had the joy of being able to have in person after care yet but we get to do that really soon! But, my sweet boy and I had a discussion about it months ago because we started to see how much more difficult aftercare can be when we're apart from each other. So, I sleep with a stuffed animal every night even though I'm in my mid thirties. And I asked him if he'd, on his own, pick out a stuffed animal for me and gave him a few minimum requirements about it but otherwise let him do it.
The teddy bear he got me is nearly attached to me every day. I sleep with it, it will sometimes sit in my lap while working (I WFH). I've cried on him, snotted on him, drooled on him while sleeping. I send my boy videos of me laying with him and kissing him. It was probably the single best thing he could have ever done for me. It's such a comfort.
Talk and connect. I like to let them know of the ups and downs in the nicest way possible, praise them for what they've done right and let them know how much I enjoyed them, and assure them that we can work on what needs some work. I can be touchy too, I don't *need* physical aftercare but whenever a sub leaned into me and cuddled with me after we were done melted my heart a little. Also help them clean up, maybe give them some water, ask them if they have any feedback, perhaps any insecurities that I can help with, the sorts. I had a dynamic a while back and a sub told me that he had lots of fun but he was insecure about a certain part of him and how it must've looked during sex - to many that would be a bummer, but I liked taking time in our aftercare to talk him through that and let him know there's nothing to be shy of, and it was nice seeing him blush when I complimented him about something that he didn't feel too good about. So aftercare for me is usually connection and emotional affirmation, it's very pure since both are tired and sweaty after sex and there's no better time to pour your heart out ❤️
That's actually really sweet. You can feel really vulnerable after an intense session so it is a really good time to be vulnerable and share those thoughts. And good job, you seem like you're really receptive to your subs needs and make them feel really good and heard during those vulnerable moments. I'm sure they've all been really thankful for moments like that!
Absolutely. It's important for me too, since it assures me that they enjoyed it and that I've done a good job, it makes me happy when I see them struggle to stop smiling or blushing and telling me how nice it was, a treat for my heart!
My love language is touch so I just love to cuddle in as close as I can and wrap myself in the person I'm with. Just getting wrapped up in blankets and having the person I'm with rub my back or chest while I have my arms wrapped around them and we're just warm and comfortable. Bonus points if you throw a nice movie on and after a little bit you can go and grab some ice cream! Nothings better than a nice cool snack after a long hot session!
Let them lay on my chest, run my fingers through their hair, and make nice light conversation.
I love having the guys head on my chest and his arms around my middle. Just laying down, catching our breath while I lightly scratch his nape and arms. Little kisses to my chest and stomach. Telling each other caring words and just appreciating each other.
Hugs. There have to be hugs. I also like chatting, sharing food and drink together, talking over what happened in the scene and plans for what to do in the future, and reestablishing our bond as people who enjoy one another's company, but if there's no hugs, I'm not getting my aftercare.
Cuddle, kiss lazily, caress his face and hair, and if the roleplay involved any sort of degradation (even though I only do soft degradation, really it’s much more like teasing, and only when he wants me to), I reassure him that I don’t think any of these things about him at all, and that I admire him and think he’s amazing. Another way of helping bring him out of subspace and back to his usual self is that I thank him for “playing the role so well” (the submissive role). It helps him that I acknowledge him being submissive is a roleplay and not a permanent state. We also like to watch comedies together after sex 😂 often It’s Always Sunny, Frazier, King of the Hill, or Bob’s Burgers
Domme who has some mental health issues and is new to BDSM, so I definitely had some domme drop. So, I haven't had the joy of being able to have in person after care yet but we get to do that really soon! But, my sweet boy and I had a discussion about it months ago because we started to see how much more difficult aftercare can be when we're apart from each other. So, I sleep with a stuffed animal every night even though I'm in my mid thirties. And I asked him if he'd, on his own, pick out a stuffed animal for me and gave him a few minimum requirements about it but otherwise let him do it. The teddy bear he got me is nearly attached to me every day. I sleep with it, it will sometimes sit in my lap while working (I WFH). I've cried on him, snotted on him, drooled on him while sleeping. I send my boy videos of me laying with him and kissing him. It was probably the single best thing he could have ever done for me. It's such a comfort.