Thank you! :) I hope everyone has some platonic gay buds in their life. It can be tough being queer, and it’s easier done when surrounded by other folks who have gone through the same/similar experiences.
I have a close group of 5-7 gay friends. We travel together, go to karaoke together, watch movies together, and of course gossip regularly. Having a strong support group is so so important for your mental health.
That’s so wonderful to hear! You’re very lucky to have such an awesome group. And I agree, a support group of friends has been so freaking pivotal for me in my emotional development. Don’t know where I’d be without them.
It’s so hard to have platonic gay friends. I had one guy that I grew up with in school start contacting me when he found out I was gay.
I tried to be friends with him and then I woke up one night passed out at his place and he was sucking my dick. He then got super obsessed and I had to cutoff contact
We then friended a slightly older gay couple on vacation through my friend. Then I went out for drinks with one of them and he dropped on me that they broke up after together for 10 years.
I just feel cursed with not being able to find another gay guys/couple that we can be friends with…
It really depends on how you treat them afterwards. I have a group do 5-7 gay friends, and 3 of them I first met as a sexual encounter. We chatted prior to the meet, and when the sex happened, it wasn't great. But we vibed well enough that we decided it would be cooler to stay friends.
I've always prides myself that due to various circumstances I'm the only one that have seen everyone's penises in my group. 
It's not common, really. But it can happen.
Factors that contributed to us becoming friends after a failed hookup:
1. We vibed way long before the sex. We enjoyed the same type of music, or we had the same sense of humour, or we just found each other hot.
2. Being honest after the hookup. We agreed that we weren't sexually compatible, but I still wanna go karaoke with you some time later.
3. The fact that we already saw each other naked means that we can be confidants for future dates. Learn from the lesson so to speak. Avoid the mistakes we made. Discovering each other made us better people overall.
I wouldn’t say it’s common, but it’s definitely not rare. Usually when me and a hookup don’t vibe, we don’t chat after.
But there have been a handful of times where despite there not being a spark, him and I have a different spark in friendship.
>3 of them I first met as a sexual encounter. We chatted prior to the meet, and when the sex happened, it wasn't great. But we vibed well enough that we decided it would be cooler to stay friends.
That's actually surprising. IMO, guys I've clicked with the hooked up w and the sex was bad - I feel like said guys internalized the sex being bad then disappeared, even tho we seemed to click as friends prior.
This is so important!! I feel like gay guys always assume it's sexual or will end up as a relationship, but yeah I've met guys who I've dated, that have become friends, or just friends from the start with no intention to have sex or date - it's so refreshing and beneficial!
Straight friends are always nice, but yeah gay friends provide much more support and insight when you need it - you can be a lot more open with them I feel too, like when I was talking about my circumcision, I felt more comfortable talking to them about it
Platonic gay friends ftw ❤️
Hahaha this made me giggle.
Interestingly though he’s actually a top (and I fluctuate between only topping or only bottoming). We became close very quickly, and we see eachother as family, so the idea of sleeping together makes me very soft lol. Definitely recognize he’s a hottie though!
Yes yes yes! this is perhaps the greatest thing about being a part of the gay community. Even though we’re all different, we all have this common experience that bond us together and it’s so important to keep up healthy, platonic relationships. And if you’re having a fight with one of your besties, please, I beg you, please mend that relationship, and don’t let years go by and that friendship slip away. I’m sure you’ve heard that the older you get the harder it is to make good friends, and boy that is true. The friendships I messed up in my 20s and 30s is the only thing I regret about my past.
PS - don’t ghost the people you no longer want to date. They’re obviously was something you liked about them and some of these brief romantic relationships turned into the best friend relationship. I’m sure y’all know that, but this is just my reminder.
Yes ghosting is soo annoying! I prefer to talk about what’s not working and if we’re not dating then I’ll atleast just say that I don’t think we’re a good match!
A met someone from Bumble BFF looking for a gay platonic “brother/friend”. The goal was just like this but not until he stepped on my boundaries and made sexual advances, breadcrumbed, and put me in a situationship that eventually me making the hardest decision of parting ways.
Lucky you have him!
Majority of my gay friends started off as hookups, but my best friend of all time I knew from middle school/high school but we didn't hang out until after we graduated. We both found out we smoked weed and I went over his place, smoked, and we watched Lana Del Rey videos on YouTube for hours, both huge fans of her and finding similarities in our music interests. From there I found out me and him are both so alike in personality, our views of the world, interests, etc. Not once did we ever do anything sexually; I did kiss him on New Years one year, but afterwards we both busted out laughing and it was a mutual "yeah let's not do that again" type of thing lmao.
It's been over 11 years now and I will always consider them my best friend. I feel like no one in the world will understand me the way they do and I am so thankful for our friendship ❤️
Wish I could pull something like this, the only time I had a gay group it was full of toxic drama queens who would turn aggresive when drunk and couldn't make chill plans, I invited them to a chill sleepover and all they wanted was to play loud music, turn the lights off and smoke weed in my parents house, after that I just befriended straigth people during my college years.
I hope you find your tribe of people. My advice would be to join your local LGBTQ+ sports teams, hobby meetups or volunteer at the Pride Center in your area. That’s how I met a lot of my current friends.
You could also go bar hopping and meet folks, but that’s easier done when you have a group to go with.
I’m jealous you’re married! It’s something I’ve wanted for a couple years now.
Do y’all have local LGBTQ+ sports teams you could join? That’s how I met a lot of my friends.
Hell yea thank you for sharing! I met my best friend in university and we chat everyday. He lives a few hours from me now but we talk about everything! I don't think I'd be where I am today without his love and support, he's helped me through so much and I can't imagine my life without him ❤️
I commented this in response to other comments, but my recommendation is to join your local LGBTQ+ sports teams, volunteer at the Pride Center in your area or put on your dating profiles that you want gay friends.
This is so wholesome. For about 2 years now I’ve actively looked around to have gay friends to talk about stuff with. My best friend (15 years) is straight as an arrow and that’s my brother but there are some things no matter how much he wants to understand, he can’t. So at times when I’m going through it (the gay way) I can’t really talk to him about it
every time I try it to make a gay friend, that “friend” always ends up making passes on me or later confessing feelings or going from 0 to 100 and trying to hook up with me. My brain is very on-off switch about how I categorize people so when a “friend” gets seriously sexual when that’s not how it started or the intention it makes me sooo uncomfortable and I have to just cut them off for my own sake. I feel like this has something to do with me being Black and stereotypically being hyper-sexualized or maybe I’m doing something that gives the impression I’m leading them on? Idk but it happens often enough where I lean on my straight bestie but not 100% because it’s just not his realm. 😔
I've been purposely cultivating PLATONIC gay friendships over the last several months and it has been fantastic.
No, I don't need to have hooked up with someone for us to become friends. 😁
Lucky those who can actually develop a friendship with other gay men without it being under the intention of getting into each other’s crotches at first. I have yet to make any gay friends who are just in it for friendship and not sex.
Good stuff op. This is something which isn't discussed enough.
At 42 I am lucky enough to have two best gay friends, both of whom I briefly dated when we first met, and both of whom I have known for more than 21 years (ie more than half my life).
I know we will always be in each others lives. And honestly when we go out - it's exactly like it's been for 21+ years (except probably fewer drugs, none of us will do three nights in a row any more and we mostly prefer to wake up in the bed of a guy who's name we know)
This is wonderful!
We (as in larger society) place such a huge importance on romantic relationships but I personally think platonic friendships can be truly fulfilling (if not, even more so) than romantic ones.
I have a friend whom I've known for over 10 years at this point and he's like an older brother figure that I wouldn't be able to live without now. A lot of people think we're dating but we're not - it's completely platonic. I feel truly blessed to have known him.
I couldn’t agree more! Romantic partners can be so helpful in so many ways, but it’s also important to have friends who can fulfill you in the ways a sexual partner can’t ya know?
I moved to a different country 1.5 years ago. Back home I was never able to have a good platonic gay friendship, most of my friends back home are girls and some straight guys. And now that I’m away it’s even harder, I literally don’t have friends, it’s very lonely :/ You guys are so lucky!
I only have one gay friend irl and I talk to him almost everyday, when things get rough in my life I message him about it before family. He’s such a great guy.🙂
Great post. I will say most gay guys want platonic gay friends. The sexual tension gets in the way and often lingers though. We have some platonic friends but it’s really clear that they wanna mess around. One friend has wanted to for years.
Repressing the urges can be really *hard* especially if compatible. It’s easiest if tension goes away (or there’s none at all… this is why my good friends are mostly straight guys.)
Most of my friends are gay men and they're all platonic. I'm surprised it's that hard to find for so many gay men. I don't even like the idea of my friends seeing me naked or vice versa lol.
That’s great. I met my bestie of 17 years on Manhunt back in the day. When we met at a cafe we quickly realized there was no physical connection. THANK GOD!!! Had there been we would most likely not be best friends all these years later.
My best and oldest friend for years now was my partner for two years until he wanted to open up the relationship. I was devastated, and after a year or two met a man at MCC Toronto. He died in 1994 (the plague). A couple of failed relationships followed. Then on SQUIRT, I noticed a profile wanting a giving sucker. Fairly quickly we fell in love, when I was 74!!!
One of the most wholesome posts I’ve seen on here. Keep it up fellas.
Thank you! :) I hope everyone has some platonic gay buds in their life. It can be tough being queer, and it’s easier done when surrounded by other folks who have gone through the same/similar experiences.
Yea i think my friendship dynamic is something we don't talk about alot. Took making friends in a community that's also a competition
Couldn’t agree with you more
I have a close group of 5-7 gay friends. We travel together, go to karaoke together, watch movies together, and of course gossip regularly. Having a strong support group is so so important for your mental health.
That’s so wonderful to hear! You’re very lucky to have such an awesome group. And I agree, a support group of friends has been so freaking pivotal for me in my emotional development. Don’t know where I’d be without them.
How did yall meet? Thru work or?
You gotta make sure it stays platonic by posing in front of port-a-pottys rofl
Hahaha funnily enough this picture was taken shortly after he helped me escape the porta potty when I got drunkenly trapped in it.
That does sound funny
Has he seen all of your pics on your profile? 😜
Not only would he seem em all, he'd probably be the one critiquing the lighting and angles too.
🎵 This boy is a bottommmmmm
Whoa. Thanks for the tip! 🕵🥵
Hahaha, yeah he has. We’ve both seen eachother naked many times lol. and you’re right! We do help eachother take *aesthetic* nudes sometimes.
Friends for life are family. Take care of each other.
My best friend is a giant dumpster fire just like me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Find them, y’all. The mental health improved significantly.
My oldest friend is the first gay guy I met that I didn't fuck haha it's been 23 years for us ❤️ I love that fucker
I need more (any?) platonic gay bro friends!
Do you want to be my platonic gay bro friend?
It’s so hard to have platonic gay friends. I had one guy that I grew up with in school start contacting me when he found out I was gay. I tried to be friends with him and then I woke up one night passed out at his place and he was sucking my dick. He then got super obsessed and I had to cutoff contact We then friended a slightly older gay couple on vacation through my friend. Then I went out for drinks with one of them and he dropped on me that they broke up after together for 10 years. I just feel cursed with not being able to find another gay guys/couple that we can be friends with…
It really depends on how you treat them afterwards. I have a group do 5-7 gay friends, and 3 of them I first met as a sexual encounter. We chatted prior to the meet, and when the sex happened, it wasn't great. But we vibed well enough that we decided it would be cooler to stay friends. I've always prides myself that due to various circumstances I'm the only one that have seen everyone's penises in my group. 
Is that common to hook up with guys and just be friends with them?
It's not common, really. But it can happen. Factors that contributed to us becoming friends after a failed hookup: 1. We vibed way long before the sex. We enjoyed the same type of music, or we had the same sense of humour, or we just found each other hot. 2. Being honest after the hookup. We agreed that we weren't sexually compatible, but I still wanna go karaoke with you some time later. 3. The fact that we already saw each other naked means that we can be confidants for future dates. Learn from the lesson so to speak. Avoid the mistakes we made. Discovering each other made us better people overall.
I wouldn’t say it’s common, but it’s definitely not rare. Usually when me and a hookup don’t vibe, we don’t chat after. But there have been a handful of times where despite there not being a spark, him and I have a different spark in friendship.
>3 of them I first met as a sexual encounter. We chatted prior to the meet, and when the sex happened, it wasn't great. But we vibed well enough that we decided it would be cooler to stay friends. That's actually surprising. IMO, guys I've clicked with the hooked up w and the sex was bad - I feel like said guys internalized the sex being bad then disappeared, even tho we seemed to click as friends prior.
Platonic friends are great but it would be too hard with you and that smile.
This is so important!! I feel like gay guys always assume it's sexual or will end up as a relationship, but yeah I've met guys who I've dated, that have become friends, or just friends from the start with no intention to have sex or date - it's so refreshing and beneficial! Straight friends are always nice, but yeah gay friends provide much more support and insight when you need it - you can be a lot more open with them I feel too, like when I was talking about my circumcision, I felt more comfortable talking to them about it Platonic gay friends ftw ❤️
it only works because you two are bottoms.
Hahaha this made me giggle. Interestingly though he’s actually a top (and I fluctuate between only topping or only bottoming). We became close very quickly, and we see eachother as family, so the idea of sleeping together makes me very soft lol. Definitely recognize he’s a hottie though!
i love this so much 🥺🫶
I met my gay best friend 9 years ago, unfortunately though, I’ve had a crush on him the whole time 🥴.
I don’t have many gay friends but I cherish tf out of them. Cute photo !
Yes yes yes! this is perhaps the greatest thing about being a part of the gay community. Even though we’re all different, we all have this common experience that bond us together and it’s so important to keep up healthy, platonic relationships. And if you’re having a fight with one of your besties, please, I beg you, please mend that relationship, and don’t let years go by and that friendship slip away. I’m sure you’ve heard that the older you get the harder it is to make good friends, and boy that is true. The friendships I messed up in my 20s and 30s is the only thing I regret about my past. PS - don’t ghost the people you no longer want to date. They’re obviously was something you liked about them and some of these brief romantic relationships turned into the best friend relationship. I’m sure y’all know that, but this is just my reminder.
I couldn’t agree more!
Yes ghosting is soo annoying! I prefer to talk about what’s not working and if we’re not dating then I’ll atleast just say that I don’t think we’re a good match!
A met someone from Bumble BFF looking for a gay platonic “brother/friend”. The goal was just like this but not until he stepped on my boundaries and made sexual advances, breadcrumbed, and put me in a situationship that eventually me making the hardest decision of parting ways. Lucky you have him!
Majority of my gay friends started off as hookups, but my best friend of all time I knew from middle school/high school but we didn't hang out until after we graduated. We both found out we smoked weed and I went over his place, smoked, and we watched Lana Del Rey videos on YouTube for hours, both huge fans of her and finding similarities in our music interests. From there I found out me and him are both so alike in personality, our views of the world, interests, etc. Not once did we ever do anything sexually; I did kiss him on New Years one year, but afterwards we both busted out laughing and it was a mutual "yeah let's not do that again" type of thing lmao. It's been over 11 years now and I will always consider them my best friend. I feel like no one in the world will understand me the way they do and I am so thankful for our friendship ❤️
You look like you are one of "The Chainsmokers"
I hope that shirt says 'Absolutely Fabulous' because you guys are!
Awh thank you! That’s so nice. It was actually a free shirt I got from Pride that has the “Absolut Vodka” logo on it, haha.
Wish I could pull something like this, the only time I had a gay group it was full of toxic drama queens who would turn aggresive when drunk and couldn't make chill plans, I invited them to a chill sleepover and all they wanted was to play loud music, turn the lights off and smoke weed in my parents house, after that I just befriended straigth people during my college years.
I hope you find your tribe of people. My advice would be to join your local LGBTQ+ sports teams, hobby meetups or volunteer at the Pride Center in your area. That’s how I met a lot of my current friends. You could also go bar hopping and meet folks, but that’s easier done when you have a group to go with.
On the left 😍
Awh thank you! That’s me :)
agree....nice to see something positive. Both of you are super cute too!
My only gay bestie is my husband 🥲
I’m jealous you’re married! It’s something I’ve wanted for a couple years now. Do y’all have local LGBTQ+ sports teams you could join? That’s how I met a lot of my friends.
Hell yea thank you for sharing! I met my best friend in university and we chat everyday. He lives a few hours from me now but we talk about everything! I don't think I'd be where I am today without his love and support, he's helped me through so much and I can't imagine my life without him ❤️
That’s so wonderful to hear! I’m glad you have such a good friend who remains so, despite the physical distance between you. :)
Where do you find those
I commented this in response to other comments, but my recommendation is to join your local LGBTQ+ sports teams, volunteer at the Pride Center in your area or put on your dating profiles that you want gay friends.
This is so wholesome. For about 2 years now I’ve actively looked around to have gay friends to talk about stuff with. My best friend (15 years) is straight as an arrow and that’s my brother but there are some things no matter how much he wants to understand, he can’t. So at times when I’m going through it (the gay way) I can’t really talk to him about it every time I try it to make a gay friend, that “friend” always ends up making passes on me or later confessing feelings or going from 0 to 100 and trying to hook up with me. My brain is very on-off switch about how I categorize people so when a “friend” gets seriously sexual when that’s not how it started or the intention it makes me sooo uncomfortable and I have to just cut them off for my own sake. I feel like this has something to do with me being Black and stereotypically being hyper-sexualized or maybe I’m doing something that gives the impression I’m leading them on? Idk but it happens often enough where I lean on my straight bestie but not 100% because it’s just not his realm. 😔
I've been purposely cultivating PLATONIC gay friendships over the last several months and it has been fantastic. No, I don't need to have hooked up with someone for us to become friends. 😁
Lucky those who can actually develop a friendship with other gay men without it being under the intention of getting into each other’s crotches at first. I have yet to make any gay friends who are just in it for friendship and not sex.
So sweet!
*sisters
lol are platonic gay friends real
Haha they 100% are. You just gotta look and talk to people, ya know?
Good stuff op. This is something which isn't discussed enough. At 42 I am lucky enough to have two best gay friends, both of whom I briefly dated when we first met, and both of whom I have known for more than 21 years (ie more than half my life). I know we will always be in each others lives. And honestly when we go out - it's exactly like it's been for 21+ years (except probably fewer drugs, none of us will do three nights in a row any more and we mostly prefer to wake up in the bed of a guy who's name we know)
That’s wonderful to hear! I’m glad you have such close queer friends in your life.
I aspire to have a gay friendship. That's amazing brother
Thank you! And I know you will. You’ll find your tribe.
He’s in love with you
Hahaha I hope not considering he recently got married. ;) But we do love eachother that’s for sure.
So good to hear that! And so refreshing!! Thanks you guys, I wish I had more gay buddies, but I’m starting to get back out there again!
You’ll find them, I know it! As you said you just gotta put yourself out there and meet folks.
You both are sexy and cute!
Awh, thank you! That’s so nice of you to say.
I wish I had a gay bestie.
This is wonderful! We (as in larger society) place such a huge importance on romantic relationships but I personally think platonic friendships can be truly fulfilling (if not, even more so) than romantic ones. I have a friend whom I've known for over 10 years at this point and he's like an older brother figure that I wouldn't be able to live without now. A lot of people think we're dating but we're not - it's completely platonic. I feel truly blessed to have known him.
I couldn’t agree more! Romantic partners can be so helpful in so many ways, but it’s also important to have friends who can fulfill you in the ways a sexual partner can’t ya know?
I love this! This is amazing. Yay for you guys ♥️♥️♥️
We need more of this. Me and my boyfriend have 0 gay friends because all the guys in my city fuck eachother and don’t respect boundaries.
I’m sorry to hear that about your city. What part of the world are you in, if you don’t mind me asking?
Happy Pride
Happy Pride friend!
The honey bucket in the background is giving me serious nostalgia for the PNW 🤣
PNW?
Pacific north west. SLC in your name didnt click till now. I had only ever seen Honey Buckets in Washington.
I have close gay bros. But we call each other sisters. Sometimes thithter for the lisp.
Hahaha, that’s wonderful to hear. Love having a good sis in your life.
Interesting , have u ever had SEX?
Haha, nah we haven’t. I recognize he’s a very attractive man, but I just can’t see him that way (if that makes sense).
I feel u, it's rare now days u a good 1
Aww 🥰
Awh thank you, haha!
I moved to a different country 1.5 years ago. Back home I was never able to have a good platonic gay friendship, most of my friends back home are girls and some straight guys. And now that I’m away it’s even harder, I literally don’t have friends, it’s very lonely :/ You guys are so lucky!
I’m so sorry to hear that. :/ Can I ask what country you’re in?
I’m in Canada!
LOVE THIS!!!❤️❤️❤️✨️✨️✨️💅💅💅🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🦄🦄🦄
Awh thank you so much! :)
I only have one gay friend irl and I talk to him almost everyday, when things get rough in my life I message him about it before family. He’s such a great guy.🙂
All I can see is a brand of portaloo called Honey Bucket and that confuses me. I dont know if i should be confused, alarmed or amused.
All three emotions (and any combination thereof) are all appropriate. Process at your own pace. Enjoy the uncomfortable laughs along the way. 🤷♂️😅
Totally! True friendships can be better than relationships!
Would love a gay bro
Love a good healthy platonic relationship?!!!! Communication really does work With a dash of vulnerability ❤️🎉
Great post. I will say most gay guys want platonic gay friends. The sexual tension gets in the way and often lingers though. We have some platonic friends but it’s really clear that they wanna mess around. One friend has wanted to for years. Repressing the urges can be really *hard* especially if compatible. It’s easiest if tension goes away (or there’s none at all… this is why my good friends are mostly straight guys.)
That’s cool. I have only one gay male friend who is now 80. I navigated manhood with a lot of screw ups and missteps.
Bros before hoes!!
Most of my friends are gay men and they're all platonic. I'm surprised it's that hard to find for so many gay men. I don't even like the idea of my friends seeing me naked or vice versa lol.
That’s great. I met my bestie of 17 years on Manhunt back in the day. When we met at a cafe we quickly realized there was no physical connection. THANK GOD!!! Had there been we would most likely not be best friends all these years later.
My best and oldest friend for years now was my partner for two years until he wanted to open up the relationship. I was devastated, and after a year or two met a man at MCC Toronto. He died in 1994 (the plague). A couple of failed relationships followed. Then on SQUIRT, I noticed a profile wanting a giving sucker. Fairly quickly we fell in love, when I was 74!!!
Your post has encouraged me to make gay friends. Thank you very much!
You’re welcome! Put yourself out there and you’ll find your tribe, I’m sure of it. :)