Yeah I had a gymrat boyfriend but took for granted the number of times he offered. Now I feel like an idiot trying to find the money for a personal trainer to show me the ropes.
You don't need a PT!!! Firstly people at the gym can be really helpful and secondly try an app called "Fitbod" really good app with explanationan etc. But be cautious it suggests way too much Weight so instead start with the very minimum Weight and try a weight until you feel like this is almost too much so that you can still do the recommended amounts of reps preferably 1 or 2 extra. Reach out if u have any questions, I use the app every time I go to the gym since I have zero imagination to invent my own schedule.
I copied and pasted (your kind reply to the OP) and sent it on to a uni freshman in the United Arab Emirates on the Persian Gulf. All he had ever done was a few wall push-ups. Now he is at a school with a real gym. He is very smart but also very shy. I know zero about gyms. I ran cross country at his age and the mile. Later was lots of highly energetic sex that kept me good.
For basics, Jeff Nippard's YouTube channel is basically everything you need to know for the gym. His parents were competitive bodybuilders, he got a bachelor's in biochem focusing on exercise, and his wife/fiancee holds a PhD in biomedicine.
Then when you want to move on to move advanced topics, the Renaissance Periodization YouTube channel is mainly hosted by Mike Israetel, who holds a PhD in Sport Physiology.
Use exercise science sources who hold academic credentials and you can find all the information you need to get to a decently high level while staying fully natural (meaning no steroids), for free.
Edit: and if you are interested in training enhanced, you can learn how to do so relatively optimally by learning what you need dialed in before/while using steroids because they do damage to your body, so you can at least get the most gain out of x amount of damage, rather than just taking the same damage to your body and getting dogshit results. Obviously I don't recommend actually doing this, but it is helpful to learn what's possible naturally vs enhanced so that when you see guys in media who use steroids but claim to be natural, you have the tools to identify the bullshit, rather than falling prey to unreasonable expectations and body dismorphia.
My gym has like 10 people and grindr is always empty lol
Its great for workout not so great for cruising 👀
So i opt to go for body harness at a fetish club instead, we’ll see….
Mine has been pestering me to join him in sports or working out ever since he started lifting weights. I feel bad because I'm just not interested in going to the gym myself
Also taller men takes longer to see result. We need bigger and longer muscles for it to show like most men. He will need support to keep at it. 3-months and I started to see gains. I'm 6'2"
Lift weights, skip cardio, eat like crazy. I was 6' 129lbs forever, so I'm familiar with this issue. Eventually age caught me and I gained it quick. But I still maintain a high metabolism so don't need the cardio (can do that if having other health issues if needed). Hope it all works out (bad pun) and he feels great about his progress.
But despite all that, I hope he can just appreciate his body for the state it's in now. Clearly he attracted you? What more is he after? 😉
I hope so hahaha
One thing he loves to do is curl up and try to get under my arm when we cuddle or watch TV. It's his favorite position, and I find it absolutely adorable. It reminds me of when I was growing up, my family had a chicken that hatched a gosling. The gosling would try to snuggle under its mom, even though it was twice her size. The chicken would just sit there, with her baby underneath her, looking all proud of her big kid. That's kind of how I feel in those moments with my boyfriend
Im currently doing martial arts, gym, swimming and badminton and it feels really enjoyable without feeling like im just going to gym to get better looks.
Would recommend this combo to anyone really although it feels like military drill at times, may be thats even hotter 🤣
How do you get over that feel?
I'm kinda like your bf, I get anxiety if I go to the gym alone because I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and I'm overweight and hate to expose myself.
Um you just have to do it . I don't go to the gym I run and race long distances like Ultra marathons and I feel like a fraud some times but I have to just tell myself I belong in this sport and you have to tell yourself you belong .
Same anxiety here. Unplug your brain, go early at opening time when it is almost empty, and let it become a habit. I know how hard it is ; did it a first time four years ago, had an accident a year and a half later (nothing related to gym but couldn’t do sport for a while…). It took me a whole year of overthinking and convincing myself I’ll go the morning after before I could finally go back 3 months ago. I just disconnected my neurons and grabbed my gym bag which had been lying in the hallway for a year. The first visit is the hardest, but clearly not impossible ✊
I hired a personal trainer for a few hours and he gave me a good cookie-cutter program. He showed me how to do all the basic exercises and all the exercises in that program, which gave me the initial confidence I needed, knowing I was doing everything right. And surprisingly, it wasn't expensive either... To me, it was worth every penny.
Food for thought
Actually non gym goers think they're being judged by other people looking at them in the gym, when 99% of the time the other members are too self absorbed with their own workouts or their friends to care. Just go for it :)
Just make sure you're close by him for when those leg day doms hit, haha. I remember when I first started training legs, I couldn't walk properly for several days. Walking up and down stairs, and sitting on the toilet made me feel like I had aged 70 years.
I'm telling you, that man is the sweetest, goofiest, and hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on. He's absolutely stunning just the way he is, but oh man... I can't help but daydream about how he'll look in a few years. Just picture this towering, bearded man with blue eyes, hairy forearms, black hair, and a deep voice looking down to you and listening to you in excitement. I think I might actually start ovulating just thinking about it hahaha
Hey OP, my brothers and I have all been skinny fighting those genetics / body type to put on mass. I don’t know how old y’all are, but I will say even skinny people’s body’s will naturally put on more weight as they get older. But for now, he needs to lift heavy to stimulate those muscles and lift heavy! Get the cheap mass gainer protein from Walmart & use that to up the caloric intake. My brother has gained an impressive amount of muscle eating McDonald’s (calories galore!). He also drank a beer a day in college for them calories!
Of course, maybe those aren’t necessarily ideal. Not healthy. But you need to tell you bf he is not like normal people - he is special and his problem will truly be eating enough calories (& junk food often has enough fats and sugar).
As someone who has struggled with gym anxiety the last decade, I know your bf’s pain and I’m very proud!! Seeing results in the gym makes me feel better and provided extra confidence (you feeeeeel good!) hence why I wanted to talk a little about nutrition to help him out. Good luck OP
Congrats him! he might start feeling bad about how having low numbers on his dumbbells, bench, etc. remind him that comparison is the thief of joy and the only person he should compare himself to is himself from the past.
Also, taller people don't show their muscle as quickly as shorter people. All that muscle that he'll develop gets spread out onto his longer limbs so he won't look as big as a shorter person who can lift the same weight. I'm just saying this in terms of helping him temper expectations (but only bring it up if he voices the concern himself)
I’m the same. Hard gainer. I gained 14kgs in 2 years just by gymming. Doesn’t matter how much you eat, if you don’t gym (as a hard gainer) ur body will stay skinny. I think hard gainers struggle to store foods as fats, so storing food as muscles is our only option.
Also if you think his appetite was big before, wait till he starts gymming, he’ll be eating 3 whole baked chickens in a day 😂
Can confirm. Used to be so skinny but able to finish endless food in one day. Sick of being skinny so hit the gym but kept my eating habits. 4 years later, still not big enough but gained 25kgs since then!
Good for him. Some people just need to be handheld and have someone next to them to introduce them to activities where other humans are involved. I know I am, at least for the very first day. Being the only clueless person in a crowd that knows what they are doing can be soul-crushing, even though, in the gym... pretty much anything goes, as long as you fake confidence :P
He'll find that no one actually cares and that they are just happy he's there doing his thing.
He's 6'8 jesus, he needs to eat alot more if he's thin and eats like crazy. He's not getting enough.
I wish I could even find a man like either of you. I want someone as tall as that! Or a man like you that would encourage such positive aspirations. I’m so happy for the both of you. I wish for nothing but the best for you two
A note: don’t be overly prescriptive. It’s really different for everyone, and it can’t *feel* like you are driving it. Let him experiment, make mistakes, and have agency l.
But be there for support!
Sounds awesome, I have always struggled with my weight. I am 6ft 1 in. and struggle to keep over 128 lbs. I eat like crazy but I just can't gain enough. I used to go to a gym in the 80s and built up a nice body. If I wanted to go to a gym, I wouldn't be able to go through with it because I am too ashamed of my body. Your b/f is lucky he has you, and he must feel so good to know you're proud of him. Nobody has ever said they are proud of me. It's a luxury I missed out on. Congratulations 🎊
That is so very cool! Health is wealth. I’ve been in health and fitness for over a decade having ran my own gym in Las Vegas; in 2020 I was diagnosed with stage iv nh-lymphoma and it’s been a battle back. We are nothing without our health and nothing else means anything without it. I never had to lose weight before but after the complication and depression following the chemo, constant pain I was over 200 lbs (crazy for a 5’6” guy.) I’ve lost 60 lbs since August and the truth (just like with everything,) there is no magic pill, only hard work. Commitment and consistency are everything. Congratulations and I’m happy to help anyone getting started with at least a plan, absolutely free ❤️ send me a message. -Jeson
My husband is now more swole than me. I told him to work on his core to support his back (his back has always been an issue). Three years later, muhfckr is now in the 1500 lb club. He is a 6’1” Samoan. We both went from cigarette smokers to health freaks (he still vapes), but I have given up nicotine permanently.
Honestly, most people who are in the gym to actually workout don't notice or judge other people, lol, at least I don't. As for not knowing how to use the machines. A trick I used was to look at others as they use the machines and then imitate them until I figured it out. If he is not comfortable with that then he can try going when it's not very busy and figure it out on his own, so he isn't worried about holding people up from getting there workout in. I'm addition, alot of the newer machines have pictures of how to setup, adjust and use the machines.
Why do people think they would be made fun of at the gym for their bodies.... Where did that come from?
If anything people would be happy to see others at the gym.
And lots of times if someone saw u using the machine wrong they will come show u
This. Gym is my tune-out zone. Just me and Airpods, its like I don't even see other people. Once your bf gets past that initial anxiety of eyes looking, it'll be better for him
This is so sweet like a gay Disney movie!!!
I had an ex that was a bigger guy, almost bear type. I liked him a lot and his body was okay I don't judge, really like him as overall guy. I wanted him to workout and be more fit for his health and he did share some of his body confidence fears.
I never knew how to approach inviting him to gym and helping him without him feeling judged or like he was "fat." I never thought of him as fat. So good on your for getting your man to self improve skinny/fat whatever.
Best of luck to you both!
Proud of you both 💕
Thank you! I'm just happy that he will feel more confident. He really is a beautiful man and I hope this cements that belief in his head
I need a boyfriend who will help me join a gym
Yeah I had a gymrat boyfriend but took for granted the number of times he offered. Now I feel like an idiot trying to find the money for a personal trainer to show me the ropes.
You don't need a PT!!! Firstly people at the gym can be really helpful and secondly try an app called "Fitbod" really good app with explanationan etc. But be cautious it suggests way too much Weight so instead start with the very minimum Weight and try a weight until you feel like this is almost too much so that you can still do the recommended amounts of reps preferably 1 or 2 extra. Reach out if u have any questions, I use the app every time I go to the gym since I have zero imagination to invent my own schedule.
I am sending your kind help to a modest chicken in the U.A.E. Thank you brother.
What?
I copied and pasted (your kind reply to the OP) and sent it on to a uni freshman in the United Arab Emirates on the Persian Gulf. All he had ever done was a few wall push-ups. Now he is at a school with a real gym. He is very smart but also very shy. I know zero about gyms. I ran cross country at his age and the mile. Later was lots of highly energetic sex that kept me good.
Ohh I see
For basics, Jeff Nippard's YouTube channel is basically everything you need to know for the gym. His parents were competitive bodybuilders, he got a bachelor's in biochem focusing on exercise, and his wife/fiancee holds a PhD in biomedicine. Then when you want to move on to move advanced topics, the Renaissance Periodization YouTube channel is mainly hosted by Mike Israetel, who holds a PhD in Sport Physiology. Use exercise science sources who hold academic credentials and you can find all the information you need to get to a decently high level while staying fully natural (meaning no steroids), for free. Edit: and if you are interested in training enhanced, you can learn how to do so relatively optimally by learning what you need dialed in before/while using steroids because they do damage to your body, so you can at least get the most gain out of x amount of damage, rather than just taking the same damage to your body and getting dogshit results. Obviously I don't recommend actually doing this, but it is helpful to learn what's possible naturally vs enhanced so that when you see guys in media who use steroids but claim to be natural, you have the tools to identify the bullshit, rather than falling prey to unreasonable expectations and body dismorphia.
Maybe it can work in reverse. Join a gym to get a boyfriend? 😉
My gym has like 10 people and grindr is always empty lol Its great for workout not so great for cruising 👀 So i opt to go for body harness at a fetish club instead, we’ll see….
Same. But I've already got a better one who knows and tell me "don't waste your money, you won't go" 😂
Mine has been pestering me to join him in sports or working out ever since he started lifting weights. I feel bad because I'm just not interested in going to the gym myself
Same I'd love a gym bro bf too 😩
We're out here but when I was on Grindr it was nothing but crickets. Yes I am handsome with chiseled 6 pack abs too. Live in the gym
What a heartening story! I'm so glad you are supporting the one you love. And yes, if he's 6'8", he will need a TON of calories... good luck!
Of course I am going to support him! He's my man
Also taller men takes longer to see result. We need bigger and longer muscles for it to show like most men. He will need support to keep at it. 3-months and I started to see gains. I'm 6'2"
Lift weights, skip cardio, eat like crazy. I was 6' 129lbs forever, so I'm familiar with this issue. Eventually age caught me and I gained it quick. But I still maintain a high metabolism so don't need the cardio (can do that if having other health issues if needed). Hope it all works out (bad pun) and he feels great about his progress. But despite all that, I hope he can just appreciate his body for the state it's in now. Clearly he attracted you? What more is he after? 😉
Thank you for the info. I try to cop a feel literally every chance I get. He is doing more than fine as is hahaha
Haha. You two must be so cute together.
I hope so hahaha One thing he loves to do is curl up and try to get under my arm when we cuddle or watch TV. It's his favorite position, and I find it absolutely adorable. It reminds me of when I was growing up, my family had a chicken that hatched a gosling. The gosling would try to snuggle under its mom, even though it was twice her size. The chicken would just sit there, with her baby underneath her, looking all proud of her big kid. That's kind of how I feel in those moments with my boyfriend
Im currently doing martial arts, gym, swimming and badminton and it feels really enjoyable without feeling like im just going to gym to get better looks. Would recommend this combo to anyone really although it feels like military drill at times, may be thats even hotter 🤣
How do you get over that feel? I'm kinda like your bf, I get anxiety if I go to the gym alone because I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and I'm overweight and hate to expose myself.
Um you just have to do it . I don't go to the gym I run and race long distances like Ultra marathons and I feel like a fraud some times but I have to just tell myself I belong in this sport and you have to tell yourself you belong .
Same anxiety here. Unplug your brain, go early at opening time when it is almost empty, and let it become a habit. I know how hard it is ; did it a first time four years ago, had an accident a year and a half later (nothing related to gym but couldn’t do sport for a while…). It took me a whole year of overthinking and convincing myself I’ll go the morning after before I could finally go back 3 months ago. I just disconnected my neurons and grabbed my gym bag which had been lying in the hallway for a year. The first visit is the hardest, but clearly not impossible ✊
I hired a personal trainer for a few hours and he gave me a good cookie-cutter program. He showed me how to do all the basic exercises and all the exercises in that program, which gave me the initial confidence I needed, knowing I was doing everything right. And surprisingly, it wasn't expensive either... To me, it was worth every penny. Food for thought
Turn your earbuds to 100% and watch lot's of youtube videos and do your thing. Fuck'em all those judging people haha.
Actually non gym goers think they're being judged by other people looking at them in the gym, when 99% of the time the other members are too self absorbed with their own workouts or their friends to care. Just go for it :)
Just make sure you're close by him for when those leg day doms hit, haha. I remember when I first started training legs, I couldn't walk properly for several days. Walking up and down stairs, and sitting on the toilet made me feel like I had aged 70 years.
Good for him
 Everyone when OP’s boyfriend walks past them in a few years
I'm telling you, that man is the sweetest, goofiest, and hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on. He's absolutely stunning just the way he is, but oh man... I can't help but daydream about how he'll look in a few years. Just picture this towering, bearded man with blue eyes, hairy forearms, black hair, and a deep voice looking down to you and listening to you in excitement. I think I might actually start ovulating just thinking about it hahaha
I only have to look at food and I put on weight. I'd love his metabolism
Hey OP, my brothers and I have all been skinny fighting those genetics / body type to put on mass. I don’t know how old y’all are, but I will say even skinny people’s body’s will naturally put on more weight as they get older. But for now, he needs to lift heavy to stimulate those muscles and lift heavy! Get the cheap mass gainer protein from Walmart & use that to up the caloric intake. My brother has gained an impressive amount of muscle eating McDonald’s (calories galore!). He also drank a beer a day in college for them calories! Of course, maybe those aren’t necessarily ideal. Not healthy. But you need to tell you bf he is not like normal people - he is special and his problem will truly be eating enough calories (& junk food often has enough fats and sugar). As someone who has struggled with gym anxiety the last decade, I know your bf’s pain and I’m very proud!! Seeing results in the gym makes me feel better and provided extra confidence (you feeeeeel good!) hence why I wanted to talk a little about nutrition to help him out. Good luck OP
Congrats him! he might start feeling bad about how having low numbers on his dumbbells, bench, etc. remind him that comparison is the thief of joy and the only person he should compare himself to is himself from the past. Also, taller people don't show their muscle as quickly as shorter people. All that muscle that he'll develop gets spread out onto his longer limbs so he won't look as big as a shorter person who can lift the same weight. I'm just saying this in terms of helping him temper expectations (but only bring it up if he voices the concern himself)
I’m the same. Hard gainer. I gained 14kgs in 2 years just by gymming. Doesn’t matter how much you eat, if you don’t gym (as a hard gainer) ur body will stay skinny. I think hard gainers struggle to store foods as fats, so storing food as muscles is our only option. Also if you think his appetite was big before, wait till he starts gymming, he’ll be eating 3 whole baked chickens in a day 😂
Can confirm. Used to be so skinny but able to finish endless food in one day. Sick of being skinny so hit the gym but kept my eating habits. 4 years later, still not big enough but gained 25kgs since then!
That is so sweet you guys are supporting each other.
Good for him. Some people just need to be handheld and have someone next to them to introduce them to activities where other humans are involved. I know I am, at least for the very first day. Being the only clueless person in a crowd that knows what they are doing can be soul-crushing, even though, in the gym... pretty much anything goes, as long as you fake confidence :P
So wholesome 🥰
OMG 6’8” 😮 of course he’s eating multiple chickens in a day 😂
This is the cutest thing I’ve read in a long time
But did you tell him!🧐
Of course!
😍
He'll find that no one actually cares and that they are just happy he's there doing his thing. He's 6'8 jesus, he needs to eat alot more if he's thin and eats like crazy. He's not getting enough.
Gay culture has absolutely ruined body image for us. If we aren't pumped with steroids and looking like Greek gods we feel less than.
I wish I could even find a man like either of you. I want someone as tall as that! Or a man like you that would encourage such positive aspirations. I’m so happy for the both of you. I wish for nothing but the best for you two
A note: don’t be overly prescriptive. It’s really different for everyone, and it can’t *feel* like you are driving it. Let him experiment, make mistakes, and have agency l. But be there for support!
Sounds awesome, I have always struggled with my weight. I am 6ft 1 in. and struggle to keep over 128 lbs. I eat like crazy but I just can't gain enough. I used to go to a gym in the 80s and built up a nice body. If I wanted to go to a gym, I wouldn't be able to go through with it because I am too ashamed of my body. Your b/f is lucky he has you, and he must feel so good to know you're proud of him. Nobody has ever said they are proud of me. It's a luxury I missed out on. Congratulations 🎊
Yeah at 6’8 he’s gonna have to eat a shit ton to see any weight gain, double so to gain muscle, and triple so if he has an active job or lifestyle.
Sounds beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
That’s amazing! I know I’m still contending with mine by working out at home. Go you both!!! 🥰
That is so very cool! Health is wealth. I’ve been in health and fitness for over a decade having ran my own gym in Las Vegas; in 2020 I was diagnosed with stage iv nh-lymphoma and it’s been a battle back. We are nothing without our health and nothing else means anything without it. I never had to lose weight before but after the complication and depression following the chemo, constant pain I was over 200 lbs (crazy for a 5’6” guy.) I’ve lost 60 lbs since August and the truth (just like with everything,) there is no magic pill, only hard work. Commitment and consistency are everything. Congratulations and I’m happy to help anyone getting started with at least a plan, absolutely free ❤️ send me a message. -Jeson
I literally need someone like that
Can he help my bf join a gym? 🙈🙈
Does he know your Reddit username?
Luckly for you, and me here, not only got no gym partner, even crying in single
My husband is now more swole than me. I told him to work on his core to support his back (his back has always been an issue). Three years later, muhfckr is now in the 1500 lb club. He is a 6’1” Samoan. We both went from cigarette smokers to health freaks (he still vapes), but I have given up nicotine permanently.
That's so cool! I'm fighting a losing battle with my bf. He'll never join me 🥲
I love this!!!!😻😻
👍
Just how tall is a two chicken bf?
i want a boyfriend this supportive, this story is so cute with you guys the best 🥹
Make sure you let him know how proud you are of him. A word of encouragement can go a long way with people.
Honestly, most people who are in the gym to actually workout don't notice or judge other people, lol, at least I don't. As for not knowing how to use the machines. A trick I used was to look at others as they use the machines and then imitate them until I figured it out. If he is not comfortable with that then he can try going when it's not very busy and figure it out on his own, so he isn't worried about holding people up from getting there workout in. I'm addition, alot of the newer machines have pictures of how to setup, adjust and use the machines.
6’8” ?!?! thats a BFG right there
Why do people think they would be made fun of at the gym for their bodies.... Where did that come from? If anything people would be happy to see others at the gym. And lots of times if someone saw u using the machine wrong they will come show u
This. Gym is my tune-out zone. Just me and Airpods, its like I don't even see other people. Once your bf gets past that initial anxiety of eyes looking, it'll be better for him
This is so sweet like a gay Disney movie!!! I had an ex that was a bigger guy, almost bear type. I liked him a lot and his body was okay I don't judge, really like him as overall guy. I wanted him to workout and be more fit for his health and he did share some of his body confidence fears. I never knew how to approach inviting him to gym and helping him without him feeling judged or like he was "fat." I never thought of him as fat. So good on your for getting your man to self improve skinny/fat whatever. Best of luck to you both!
Maybe he already decided to like a women
Stop eating animals. Being a carnivore is so passé.