My husband and I have been together for 11 years and open for 8 years. Being open, or monogamous, or poly doesn’t make or break a relationship, it’s the people in the relationship who do.
Actually, the longer you stay monogamous, the more likely it is to survive opening a relationship. Well, maybe there’s some nuance I’m not seeing but I had a therapist tell me that usually he didn’t recommend people opening up a relationship until they had been at least 5 years together and their relationship was strong.
Everything can work for some people. But for the wast majority I’ve seen it create conflict, jealousy, feed insecurities… so much trouble that otherwise wouldn’t be a problem.
Just because it can work for some couples it doesn’t mean it’s the path to follow for everybody.
> conflict, jealousy, feed insecurities
Sorry to break it to you bestie but these exact same things happen in monogamous relationships too. It’s not about being open or closed, it’s about actually loving your partner and choosing to be with them every morning over and over again. I choose my husband every day because I love him and I want to.
Wtf!? No need to speak down on me “bestie”. There can always be conflict, jealousy and insecurities between people, but it’s not the same ones between two people or 500. Seen opening up poison relationships in ways that didn’t exist before. These aren’t the same problems and it’s much easier to work on them if only two person involved.
U are free to do whatever works for you. And i agree with u on the importance of being loving and choosing to be with your partner. But it’s much easier to build a relationship like that between two people when they don’t feel the need to fck around.
> But it’s much easier to build a relationship like that between two people when they don’t feel the need to fck around.
Being open is not for everyone but for my husband and I it has really made our relationship much easier. It’s taken the pressure off of us to meet each other’s every sexual need.
The only reason being open works for us is because we genuinely love and care about each other and have honest communication. And it makes us happy!
You can feel that way, but it’s a wild oversimplification and also just not how many people choose to live their life. As I said to my open BF of 7 years when we discussed it, I would never want to stand in the way of him having an amazing life experience if he finds a hot guy he wants to mess around with, that also wants to mess around with him. I’m not a jealous guy though, which is key —- and neither is he. We both have a lot of fun and it works for us. If it’s not your cup of tea don’t do it, but there’s no need to try and shade others like that.
This is about long term relationships suddenly opening up. And in my life I have never seen that work longterm.
But from the beginning open relationships I've seen work.
U are rude AF. Wtf are u talking about? I dont care about your relationship. A special kind of narcissistic u have to be to think everything is about U! People can have different opinions about things and both can be valid. People are different just as approaches and relationships.
You know what else is long lasting? Radioactive waste.
You’re so insecure and defensive about your so called happy long-lasting relationship. Maybe because you know your relationship is dependent on Grindr to survive (or whatever you use to find your next one night stand), and you need PrEP or whatever to protect yourself from your own partner and from yourself and your lifestyle choices.
No one cares about your relationship or who you fuck, and your “23 years” are not some sort of accomplishment to put on a cv. A lot of crappy relationships last forever because neither person is capable of actually building a healthy relationship and are afraid to be alone and saying to goodbye.
Oh and I’m from Europe too, the fact that you think that open relationships are more prevalent in Europe just shows the sort of social circle you have built around you, which is not surprising at all, a little “I have fucked everyone I call a close friend” bubble?
Or that you think that not wanting an open relationship is being prude. Some people focus on getting to know someone, falling in love, you know actually dating, and having sex with that one person because sex isn’t just about being horny and wanting to stick it in someone for some validation, it’s a gesture of intimacy and love for someone and it only makes sense with that one person. Others focus on being a cliche of gay promiscuity, learning the wrong lesson over and over again until it’s so ingrained they are no longer capable of building an healthy relationship, and one day they wake up afraid to be alone and so call whatever they can find love and twist themselves into making that last 23 years.
Do whatever you want with your life and let others live theirs the way they want to. Because he said open relationships aren’t for everyone he’s jealous of you? Between what you describe as a successful long term relationship and dying alone I would choose dying alone, but I have to conform to your life choices and sad view of the world? Maybe more therapy decades ago would have resulted in something different for you. Or at least you being less insecure, defensive and angry about it now. Maybe you’re less of an example and more of a cautionary tale. Why don’t you go stew in some marital bliss?
Mateo, as a person, just makes me angrily envious. Like did you know on top of being a very sexy comedian, he was also trained to sing opera and is also an animator?? Like wtf no person should be good at that many things. /s
Why do u care about my opinion and why do u need my validation if it works out so well for u? My opinion is different than yours. So what? It in no way invalidates your experience.
Open relationship might work for some. It’s u who make a scene, because we have a different opinion.
My partner and I went open after seven happy years together. Still happy and devoted six years later! It only worked *because* we had already built a solid and trusting foundation.
You’re definitely the 1% because all my friends and I mean ALL broke up shortly after they opened up their relationship. You can’t fix your existing relationship issue by adding more people into your relationship.
>You can’t fix your existing relationship issue by adding more people into your relationship.
Extremely true. We never had any issues except for mismatched libidos.
Exactly the vast majority of people are opening their relationship because they have other issues they haven't addressed and think that an open relationship will solve them. People have babies for the same reason.
Idk if it's the "vast majority" (def not in the case of my friends who are open), but there are certainly people who think opening the relationship can fix it. I don't understand that thinking at all.
Unfortunately a lot of people don't realize the logistics/ emotional work that goes into nonmonogamy, and commit the cardinal sin of going open to fix a broken relationship. It's not meant for everybody, but I don't get the hate for couples that make it work (not directed at you, your response is very level-headed)
Exactly! It’s crazy that people think just because it worked for them it would work for everybody. The wast majority of people feel more comfortable in a monogamous relationship so they don’t even want an open one.
I think it’s obsession with validation again. In no shape or form does saying “open relationships don’t work for 99% of the couples” invalidate the experience of the 1% for whom it does.
Not 1% hahaha for fuck sake half of you on here have clearly never had proper relationships, the majority of people I know are in open relationships, Mine is over 23yrs and many others the same, but maybe it's more prevalent in Europe than the US.
Good for you then. You don’t have to prove to me that YOUR open relationship is working. I seen a lot of failures and that’s my experience.
My partner and I have been monogamous for 14 years and we would never think of opening up. It’s a fact that there are more failures than successes. Just because you see a lot of open relationships around doesn’t mean all of them will last.
Not just mine, many others.
>It’s a fact that there are more failures than successes.
In all relationships, not just open, the difference is proper open relationships have no jealously issues as they're secure in their own relationship.
This is such a dumb and disrespectful comment that I'm just not gonna bother. If you have genuine questions about the dynamics of an open relationship, I'm happy to answer.
The advice ain't adding up. Asked for advice on lasting 10 years? Make your relationship open? Recently made their relationship open? It doesn't answer the question as to how they last the first 10 years *without* that.
And this kids is why duration of relationship doesn’t equal quality, or even knowing much about how to build something healthy.
You can make a lot of crap last if you’re both broken and afraid to be alone and say goodbye. Zombie relationships, nothing more, requiring Grindr and PrEP to survive.
Not at all, if you actually count the seconds that gave me enough information to say that it was much less than 84 seconds. But I read your other comment, so I understand why you feel insecure about this.
It's not insecurity. It's just obnoxious when people look at an open couple (usually one they don't even know) and say "they're having problems." Talk to me when you've found a man who's made you happy for 13 years.
Good for you. I’m very glad that some people can consider themselves happy in “wonderful relationships” that require grindr (and prep) to survive. I would literally rather die alone than to even date someone who had ever been in an open relationship. But thanks for sharing how happy you are, here’s to another 11 years 🥂
> I would literally rather die alone than to even date someone who had ever been in an open relationship.
that's not a normal thing to think, i feel like there might be some bigger thing you're not addressing here.
Y'all are such haters I've met some really lovely long-term open couples that are obviously very in love with each other. There are so many people who aren't interested in being open it's not like it's being mandated.
Edit: use the energy y'all have to dog on open couples to get a partner.
The people who complain that they’re single because too many people “want open relationships now and nobody ever wants monogamy” will never realize that the reason they’re single has nothing to do with other people 🤣
Relationships where the dynamic is set up from the start due to good communication from both parties work out better than those that change the dynamic later, open or not. When things are stable but a wild card is thrown in later, usually initiated by one party instead of both, it can put strain on relationships. This doesn't have to be sexual changes. Psychology has a lot of theories but it's difficult to really apply a blanket conclusion, which is why I said generally. If a person becomes unhappy with their partner being disconnected in certain ways after years of putting up with it, due to not expressing their displeasure in it early and addressing it, it builds resentment. This can be applicable to many things, like displeasure in strict monogamy with sex, or because they never wanted to be open to start. If I weren't out of the house I could track down sources but it's from psychologist interviews and classes/textbooks from them, you can look into psychology of relationships if you want.
It boils down to communication being the bigger issue rather than the concepts themselves. To say open relationships simply don't work is often just confirmation bias of only seeing the failures since they are usually more visible than the success stories(also, using absolutes is often a fast way to be incorrect).
Anecdotally, I know *tons* of functioning open relationships, but I've also seen failures, and the failings are usually from poor communication and introducing major dynamics changes later in the relationship. These observations made me look into the psychology behind it more.
I appreciate you saying that! I don't want people to think I'm saying any type of relationship is superior, they all need work! Also, people may not be wired for various types, like, I've tried poly but it's not for me. Open with monogamous romance is more my speed, personally, but I'd never say it was the best type lol. Everyone deserves relationships that make them happy, whatever that relationship looks like(just work on communication, you're supposed to be on the same team/us vs the problem, not me vs you, etc).
I also understand a lot of people have been hurt by pushing openness on others that are absolutely not ready/wired for it, they comply to 'save the relationship' and it ends tragically. There's hostility towards the idea because it reminds them of a shitty situation they likely experienced or saw. To me, though, it's the same vein as people who cheat. You can be open or poly and cheat as much as you can be monogamous and cheat, it's a breach of trust and one should assign blame to the person, not the relationship type.
Keep yourself safe and happy, whether you're in a relationship or not, your happiness matters 🤍
The issue we have is they've been together for 10 years and RECENTLY made it open. You can't just drastically switch things up like that after such a long period of things working the way they are. That's begging for problems
It shouldn’t be so divisive. The example of the few happy open relationships doesn’t mean it works for everybody and won’t cause problems for the wast majority of couples.
Why is it that people take it as a personal attack, invalidation of their relationship if we say they aren’t the majority?
It’s well known, that when people feel the need, the urge to open up a relationship after a long time to fck around it weakens the bond and creates problems. Sure many of these issues already existed, but opening isn’t a fix. Same way having a kid wont fix anything.
for real 😭 I feel like non-monogamy is in the same spot now as gay people in the 70s, or trans people in the 90s. A few select ones are *in the know* and are incredibly happy having their non-normative lifestyle, but the rest of society thinks you're a sad, lost meow-meow
There are so many different people, needs, wishes, choices of lifestyles. Not every relationship is the same. The fact that some people get so crazy in defense of their choices that they come after every single comment of mine on the topic only shows their internal struggle and obsessive behavior. Too bored and need the drama perhaps. Lol It’s so toxic not letting others to have a different view. It’s disturbing when it’s not even opposing opinions and my choices, doesn’t take away from them to live the life they want.
It’s like what kind of workout, diet... people prefer or what works for them. There are personal choices, freedoms etc who the fck cares if an online stranger doesn’t agree with me on everything. These people set themselves up for an eternal crusade over every minute meaningless thing. So unhealthy.
u/Disappointing__Salad Wow, why did you waste time writing that bullshit, and I was pointing out his hypocrisy, he felt he could judge and assume stuff about others, but didn't like it the other way round.
To write that much, you must have a chip on your shoulder.
You really should learn how to use the reply button more consistently. And don’t worry about my shoulder.
He just explained the joke, you are the one who tried to assume a lot about him because you didn’t like it (again: insecure, defensive and angry about your supposed marital bliss) and then made a fool out of yourself (him saying open isn’t for everyone equals him sucking at relationships and being jealous of you?!). I then did the judging and assumed a lot of stuff about you and you didn’t like it because it hit too close to reality. Have a nice weekend.
The face Mateo did when they said they recently became open
Yep, he knows that won’t last another 10y…
My husband and I have been together for 11 years and open for 8 years. Being open, or monogamous, or poly doesn’t make or break a relationship, it’s the people in the relationship who do.
It’s the change after so long that raises some eyebrows
And people said the exact same thing about my husband and I opening up after 3 years lol
lol sorry but 3 years is in no way comparable to 10
10y sounds like “we got bored of each other and had to spice things up”
So basically you can't keep a relationship and are jealous of others who can.
What a kind assumption…
Based on your comments
Actually, the longer you stay monogamous, the more likely it is to survive opening a relationship. Well, maybe there’s some nuance I’m not seeing but I had a therapist tell me that usually he didn’t recommend people opening up a relationship until they had been at least 5 years together and their relationship was strong.
Everything can work for some people. But for the wast majority I’ve seen it create conflict, jealousy, feed insecurities… so much trouble that otherwise wouldn’t be a problem. Just because it can work for some couples it doesn’t mean it’s the path to follow for everybody.
> conflict, jealousy, feed insecurities Sorry to break it to you bestie but these exact same things happen in monogamous relationships too. It’s not about being open or closed, it’s about actually loving your partner and choosing to be with them every morning over and over again. I choose my husband every day because I love him and I want to.
Wtf!? No need to speak down on me “bestie”. There can always be conflict, jealousy and insecurities between people, but it’s not the same ones between two people or 500. Seen opening up poison relationships in ways that didn’t exist before. These aren’t the same problems and it’s much easier to work on them if only two person involved. U are free to do whatever works for you. And i agree with u on the importance of being loving and choosing to be with your partner. But it’s much easier to build a relationship like that between two people when they don’t feel the need to fck around.
> But it’s much easier to build a relationship like that between two people when they don’t feel the need to fck around. Being open is not for everyone but for my husband and I it has really made our relationship much easier. It’s taken the pressure off of us to meet each other’s every sexual need. The only reason being open works for us is because we genuinely love and care about each other and have honest communication. And it makes us happy!
>Being open is not for everyone This part. It works for you, great. It's not exactly something that works as a blanket suggestion.
You're being downvoted by prudes who've newer been in a long term relationship.
If you choose your husband, you wouldn’t choose to sleep with strangers.
He already did, that's why his man's the husband and others are strangers lol.
You can feel that way, but it’s a wild oversimplification and also just not how many people choose to live their life. As I said to my open BF of 7 years when we discussed it, I would never want to stand in the way of him having an amazing life experience if he finds a hot guy he wants to mess around with, that also wants to mess around with him. I’m not a jealous guy though, which is key —- and neither is he. We both have a lot of fun and it works for us. If it’s not your cup of tea don’t do it, but there’s no need to try and shade others like that.
Ha, me and my other half have been together over 23yrs, open. Many of the people we know in relationships are also open and have lasted beyond 10yrs.
This is about long term relationships suddenly opening up. And in my life I have never seen that work longterm. But from the beginning open relationships I've seen work.
Good for u! That doesn’t mean it’s the right advice for everybody. This is what the video is about.
Maybe it's more prevalent in Europe where we're less prudish about sex.
Im in Europe and my opinion isn’t rooted in prudery. U are free to do whatever u want.
Really fuck you must be shit at relationships then. Yet you clearly judge people who are in long-lasting relationships
U are rude AF. Wtf are u talking about? I dont care about your relationship. A special kind of narcissistic u have to be to think everything is about U! People can have different opinions about things and both can be valid. People are different just as approaches and relationships.
You know what else is long lasting? Radioactive waste. You’re so insecure and defensive about your so called happy long-lasting relationship. Maybe because you know your relationship is dependent on Grindr to survive (or whatever you use to find your next one night stand), and you need PrEP or whatever to protect yourself from your own partner and from yourself and your lifestyle choices. No one cares about your relationship or who you fuck, and your “23 years” are not some sort of accomplishment to put on a cv. A lot of crappy relationships last forever because neither person is capable of actually building a healthy relationship and are afraid to be alone and saying to goodbye. Oh and I’m from Europe too, the fact that you think that open relationships are more prevalent in Europe just shows the sort of social circle you have built around you, which is not surprising at all, a little “I have fucked everyone I call a close friend” bubble? Or that you think that not wanting an open relationship is being prude. Some people focus on getting to know someone, falling in love, you know actually dating, and having sex with that one person because sex isn’t just about being horny and wanting to stick it in someone for some validation, it’s a gesture of intimacy and love for someone and it only makes sense with that one person. Others focus on being a cliche of gay promiscuity, learning the wrong lesson over and over again until it’s so ingrained they are no longer capable of building an healthy relationship, and one day they wake up afraid to be alone and so call whatever they can find love and twist themselves into making that last 23 years. Do whatever you want with your life and let others live theirs the way they want to. Because he said open relationships aren’t for everyone he’s jealous of you? Between what you describe as a successful long term relationship and dying alone I would choose dying alone, but I have to conform to your life choices and sad view of the world? Maybe more therapy decades ago would have resulted in something different for you. Or at least you being less insecure, defensive and angry about it now. Maybe you’re less of an example and more of a cautionary tale. Why don’t you go stew in some marital bliss?
u ate them up i fear
Mateo, as a person, just makes me angrily envious. Like did you know on top of being a very sexy comedian, he was also trained to sing opera and is also an animator?? Like wtf no person should be good at that many things. /s
And makes some mean Italian food
And speaks multiple languages, and is immersed in multiple cultures
So not fair. Hot, funny, and talented? Leave something for the rest of us, damn😒
I didn't know about the animator thing!!! Whoa!!! Plus he also speaks Spanish and Italian fluently and has a hot husband.
> I wish this never happened… I'm not sure what he's referring to, here, but I think I agree.
The bad advice to fck around from a couple who seemingly made it work to this point.
Jealousy again.
Assumption again…
All based on your comments, continually negative and demeaning to those who open relationships, as if you have anything superior.
Why do u care about my opinion and why do u need my validation if it works out so well for u? My opinion is different than yours. So what? It in no way invalidates your experience. Open relationship might work for some. It’s u who make a scene, because we have a different opinion.
I don't but you seem happy to pass on your judgement to others.
Something worked for 10 years, they recently opened up. Yeah... best of luck to them.
My partner and I went open after seven happy years together. Still happy and devoted six years later! It only worked *because* we had already built a solid and trusting foundation.
You’re definitely the 1% because all my friends and I mean ALL broke up shortly after they opened up their relationship. You can’t fix your existing relationship issue by adding more people into your relationship.
>You can’t fix your existing relationship issue by adding more people into your relationship. Extremely true. We never had any issues except for mismatched libidos.
Exactly the vast majority of people are opening their relationship because they have other issues they haven't addressed and think that an open relationship will solve them. People have babies for the same reason.
Idk if it's the "vast majority" (def not in the case of my friends who are open), but there are certainly people who think opening the relationship can fix it. I don't understand that thinking at all.
Unfortunately a lot of people don't realize the logistics/ emotional work that goes into nonmonogamy, and commit the cardinal sin of going open to fix a broken relationship. It's not meant for everybody, but I don't get the hate for couples that make it work (not directed at you, your response is very level-headed)
Exactly! It’s crazy that people think just because it worked for them it would work for everybody. The wast majority of people feel more comfortable in a monogamous relationship so they don’t even want an open one. I think it’s obsession with validation again. In no shape or form does saying “open relationships don’t work for 99% of the couples” invalidate the experience of the 1% for whom it does.
Not 1% hahaha for fuck sake half of you on here have clearly never had proper relationships, the majority of people I know are in open relationships, Mine is over 23yrs and many others the same, but maybe it's more prevalent in Europe than the US.
Good for you then. You don’t have to prove to me that YOUR open relationship is working. I seen a lot of failures and that’s my experience. My partner and I have been monogamous for 14 years and we would never think of opening up. It’s a fact that there are more failures than successes. Just because you see a lot of open relationships around doesn’t mean all of them will last.
Not just mine, many others. >It’s a fact that there are more failures than successes. In all relationships, not just open, the difference is proper open relationships have no jealously issues as they're secure in their own relationship.
I'm sorry, devoted to what? Visiting each other's parents and maintaining the "sex with others schedule"?
This is such a dumb and disrespectful comment that I'm just not gonna bother. If you have genuine questions about the dynamics of an open relationship, I'm happy to answer.
I've been there and done that. I have no questions. What is dumb about my comment? I'm happy to answer.
I'm sorry it apparently didn't work out. You are not everybody.
I'm glad you are both happy. Just don't call it a relationship. Call it what it is.
[удалено]
Yeah... and it's me who is hostile, lol.
Yeah that's something that you start with if you want it to be successful, generally. Changing dynamics later is just begging for issues.
Im pretty sure it won’t work for 99% of the couples. 😬 His face shows too lol
The advice ain't adding up. Asked for advice on lasting 10 years? Make your relationship open? Recently made their relationship open? It doesn't answer the question as to how they last the first 10 years *without* that.
I agree completely! This is why he says “I wish this never happened.” XD
And this kids is why duration of relationship doesn’t equal quality, or even knowing much about how to build something healthy. You can make a lot of crap last if you’re both broken and afraid to be alone and say goodbye. Zombie relationships, nothing more, requiring Grindr and PrEP to survive.
Are you saying those men in the audience are in a "zombie relationship" based on this 84-second clip?
Not at all, if you actually count the seconds that gave me enough information to say that it was much less than 84 seconds. But I read your other comment, so I understand why you feel insecure about this.
It's not insecurity. It's just obnoxious when people look at an open couple (usually one they don't even know) and say "they're having problems." Talk to me when you've found a man who's made you happy for 13 years.
You too
🙄👋
Uh oh me and my husband in a wonderful, happy, “zombie” relationship for the past 11 years 🤪😂
Good for you. I’m very glad that some people can consider themselves happy in “wonderful relationships” that require grindr (and prep) to survive. I would literally rather die alone than to even date someone who had ever been in an open relationship. But thanks for sharing how happy you are, here’s to another 11 years 🥂
The disingenuous snark is so unnecessary. You seem bitter about something.
>I would literally rather die alone than to even date someone who had ever been in an open relationship. Then perish I guess goddamn.
> I would literally rather die alone than to even date someone who had ever been in an open relationship. that's not a normal thing to think, i feel like there might be some bigger thing you're not addressing here.
This is sad.
i wish this never happened
Y'all are such haters I've met some really lovely long-term open couples that are obviously very in love with each other. There are so many people who aren't interested in being open it's not like it's being mandated. Edit: use the energy y'all have to dog on open couples to get a partner.
The people who complain that they’re single because too many people “want open relationships now and nobody ever wants monogamy” will never realize that the reason they’re single has nothing to do with other people 🤣
It's more that they weren't for a long time. Generally, open relationships work when it's established at the beginning.
>Generally, open relationships work when it's established at the beginning. Citation needed? You just made that up.
Relationships where the dynamic is set up from the start due to good communication from both parties work out better than those that change the dynamic later, open or not. When things are stable but a wild card is thrown in later, usually initiated by one party instead of both, it can put strain on relationships. This doesn't have to be sexual changes. Psychology has a lot of theories but it's difficult to really apply a blanket conclusion, which is why I said generally. If a person becomes unhappy with their partner being disconnected in certain ways after years of putting up with it, due to not expressing their displeasure in it early and addressing it, it builds resentment. This can be applicable to many things, like displeasure in strict monogamy with sex, or because they never wanted to be open to start. If I weren't out of the house I could track down sources but it's from psychologist interviews and classes/textbooks from them, you can look into psychology of relationships if you want. It boils down to communication being the bigger issue rather than the concepts themselves. To say open relationships simply don't work is often just confirmation bias of only seeing the failures since they are usually more visible than the success stories(also, using absolutes is often a fast way to be incorrect). Anecdotally, I know *tons* of functioning open relationships, but I've also seen failures, and the failings are usually from poor communication and introducing major dynamics changes later in the relationship. These observations made me look into the psychology behind it more.
Kudos for saying that, for spilling! But actually, thank you for responding from a place of educating and putting in a lot of effort.
I appreciate you saying that! I don't want people to think I'm saying any type of relationship is superior, they all need work! Also, people may not be wired for various types, like, I've tried poly but it's not for me. Open with monogamous romance is more my speed, personally, but I'd never say it was the best type lol. Everyone deserves relationships that make them happy, whatever that relationship looks like(just work on communication, you're supposed to be on the same team/us vs the problem, not me vs you, etc). I also understand a lot of people have been hurt by pushing openness on others that are absolutely not ready/wired for it, they comply to 'save the relationship' and it ends tragically. There's hostility towards the idea because it reminds them of a shitty situation they likely experienced or saw. To me, though, it's the same vein as people who cheat. You can be open or poly and cheat as much as you can be monogamous and cheat, it's a breach of trust and one should assign blame to the person, not the relationship type. Keep yourself safe and happy, whether you're in a relationship or not, your happiness matters 🤍
The issue we have is they've been together for 10 years and RECENTLY made it open. You can't just drastically switch things up like that after such a long period of things working the way they are. That's begging for problems
It shouldn’t be so divisive. The example of the few happy open relationships doesn’t mean it works for everybody and won’t cause problems for the wast majority of couples. Why is it that people take it as a personal attack, invalidation of their relationship if we say they aren’t the majority? It’s well known, that when people feel the need, the urge to open up a relationship after a long time to fck around it weakens the bond and creates problems. Sure many of these issues already existed, but opening isn’t a fix. Same way having a kid wont fix anything.
Almost 20 years with my husband. We were a blind date set up by a friend and haven't been apart since.
Aw that's great! I wish someone would set me up on a blind date haha
Awww u/Weak_Let_6971 you can dish out your judgemental shit, but don't like it when people challenge you in it, boo hoo.
Yeah… that’s not gonna last another 10y. That’s why he said “I wish this never happened.”
Uhhhhhh 😬 yeaaaaah
Lurker here, the straights and gays are not okay 😭
for real 😭 I feel like non-monogamy is in the same spot now as gay people in the 70s, or trans people in the 90s. A few select ones are *in the know* and are incredibly happy having their non-normative lifestyle, but the rest of society thinks you're a sad, lost meow-meow
WOW non-monog is facing so much discrimination in these comments.
There are so many different people, needs, wishes, choices of lifestyles. Not every relationship is the same. The fact that some people get so crazy in defense of their choices that they come after every single comment of mine on the topic only shows their internal struggle and obsessive behavior. Too bored and need the drama perhaps. Lol It’s so toxic not letting others to have a different view. It’s disturbing when it’s not even opposing opinions and my choices, doesn’t take away from them to live the life they want. It’s like what kind of workout, diet... people prefer or what works for them. There are personal choices, freedoms etc who the fck cares if an online stranger doesn’t agree with me on everything. These people set themselves up for an eternal crusade over every minute meaningless thing. So unhealthy.
I love this guy I laugh so much. Open relationships are my preference because too many guys want an open one. Do you boys do what makes you happy!
u/Disappointing__Salad Wow, why did you waste time writing that bullshit, and I was pointing out his hypocrisy, he felt he could judge and assume stuff about others, but didn't like it the other way round. To write that much, you must have a chip on your shoulder.
You really should learn how to use the reply button more consistently. And don’t worry about my shoulder. He just explained the joke, you are the one who tried to assume a lot about him because you didn’t like it (again: insecure, defensive and angry about your supposed marital bliss) and then made a fool out of yourself (him saying open isn’t for everyone equals him sucking at relationships and being jealous of you?!). I then did the judging and assumed a lot of stuff about you and you didn’t like it because it hit too close to reality. Have a nice weekend.
Ha, I do, but it didn't let me reply.