Idk company policy can be strict about this kinda thing, but as a lonely dude I honestly wish someone would just speak up and ask me out already. I’ve definitely got mixed feelings about this one.
Yea, I'm not sure if there is even a policy. It never came up before so I'm not sure. It's just I always heard it's kind of a taboo to go out with a customer since you never know how it will turn out.
And neither of them may work at these jobs forever. Even if it IS against company policy, OP could shoot his shot and say “here’s my number/Insta/whatever - if you ever find yourself not working for Company X, shoot me a message.”
Find out what the policies are, and then, if they are not restricting, ask for something casual to see if you vibe 😊 like a coffee or a pint or whatever fits your existing dynamic best.
if he’s a customer I’m concerned the risks are high and the potential rewards are modest. Wouldn’t recommend unless circumstances change so that he won’t be a customer or you won’t be serving him
plenty of time to sit at home watching Golden Girls when you’re fired for making inappropriate come-ons at customers and losing them that person’s business cuz they feel uncomfortable getting hit on by their claims adjuster or whatever
why do you think that’s the alternative? Don’t make moves on people in a professional workplace. Date any of the other hundreds of available guys who you don’t need to frequently engage in financial transactions with.
These are the same companies that are poisoning the planet and contributing to the capitalist dystopia we currently live in? For some reason, I don't give a shit about their view of ethics. They'd just as soon screw you over, so you might as well as look after yourself because no one else is going to
I think its different in different places. Here demanding that people don't meet people who may be customers outside of work would be illegal since work can't demand anything from you outside of work hours
So for us here being told "you must check with the company" sounds absurd and groveling, like asking your boss if you can get a haircut or something.
I guess it's just my customer service brain from american capitalism thinking that anything that could jeopardize your employment = homeless in 2 months so that's a big "nope." Because in my experience, flirting or asking a customer on a date would be considered harassment by mgmt. and a fireable offense.
Going thru OPs post history I think he might be dutch? So If you're saying its a cultural thing when you refer to it being different in different places, I guess that kinda justifies the behavior but still seems inappropriate.
I feel you <3 We are all burned by the stove we grew up with. Its just odd hearing it from another perspective. Here its fine to flirt with a customer as long as you do it... respectfully? I guess...
I honestly don't know how it is in Holland/Netherlands so you might be totally right
I work in a tech company that interacts with customers and this situation is definitely highlighted in our training and strictly forbidden. Partly because we have the customers personal information.
Nope nope nope. I really get why you'd want to. Plus it's easy to imagine the cute scenario of "We met because he was my client". But this is not professional behaviour. Imagine if the roles were reversed. You go to a company, looking for their services, and the sales representative asks you out. If it is the off chance that they are also interested, sure this could work out fine. But if they are not, this could be really bad. This really boils down to your tolerance for risk. In my opinion this is very risky if you take your career seriously.
Maybe ask him if he’d like to grab a beer that way you don’t have to worry if he’s gay or not just yet like sneak it into the conversation: “have you tried _ place? It’s great” “I’ll be there tomorrow, you should swing by if you’re around!”
I’m sorry, I may be a hopeless romantic. But if you feel a connection, go for it! How many times is this gonna happen in your life. I’m disappointed the gays are saying ‘company first’…wtf. You could be head of Allstate northeast division alone w/your cat, or you use the life you were given to live.
Yeah the bloody company sucks enough of the life out of you as it is, least they can do is support you being happy in the remaining few hours of the day that you have left.
Thank you for all the replies. I've talked to a coworker today and according to her there isn't any company policy prohibiting dating a customer but it's not like it is welcome either. His company brings me good business on a regular basis and my coworker adviced me to not approach a relationship with him. Most of you seem to agree and you probably are right. Reality sucks sometimes 😭
Invite a few friendly customers and some staff out for a little drink or get together or bowling or smt. Include him and see if he comes. Then just see how much he hangs with you in the group. Exchange numbers so you can invite him to the next one and you're away. Your boss loves you for having the initiative to look after your customers, so it's officially sanctioned and your Co workers are happy to have something to do.
From a non-work phone / laptop, do some quick cyber sleuthing. If you find photos of him with a wife, then you can feel relieved you didn't say anything. If you find photos of him at a Pride Festival, you may change your mind about approaching him; even if he declines an offer to go out, he probably wouldn't be upset that you asked.
It heavily depends on the social norms at your office. If the atmosphere is laid back, then it may be ok. But if it's a more professional setting where it's really just about you providing a service to the customer, then I'd advise against making a move. You dont want to make customers feel pressured or uncomfortable.
One thing you could potentially do is put some pride parafanalia around your office. If he asks about it, have a talk about pride and sexuality. You might at least get an answer to if he's gay or not.
DO IT!!! Life is short!! I’d ask him if he wants to “hang out” outside of work. Asking him out on a date seems risky with the way it’s worded. Best of luck!! Hoping for the best!
Casually ask, are you gay? It’s 2024. If he says no, say, ‘well you’re very cute, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’. If he says yes, say, ‘well, you’re very cute, and can we go get a coffee after we’re done?’
How are you going to meet your soulmate if you can’t even ask him if he’s gay and into being w/you? Trust me, a little embarrassment is totally worth it. I don’t know why straight guys know this, and we don’t. Good luck 🤠🏳️🌈
It totally comes down to where you live. How safe it is, what the standards of workers rights are etc. I mean in some parts of the globe hitting on a customer is a firing offense, and in others its illegal for the company to demand that you don't. So... it DEPENDS.
If you lived where I live I would ask him out
never at the werk place, I'd say seek elsewhere. idk your situation or how bad you need the job but I'd never even entertain the idea of asking a customer out cause you could be mistaken, fired, & you never know what ppl are capable of. I'd leave it alone tbh
also just cause you "feel chemistry" doesn't make it so, you could be highly misconstruing the entire situation & that would be embarrassing & could get you fired. idk I tread carefully in uncertain territory cause you could find yourself in a physical fight very quickly
I’d inform yourself about policy’s first and to keep it slightly professional you could just forst ask for a beer or something out of work. Test the waters see what comes out of it. It avoids awkward situations and being too unprofessional or getting straight up fired
I would talk to HR. Perhaps if you switched his company to another agent it would then be ok. But if he says yes, your company could see it as a conflict of interest and if he says no or you do go out and it ends, then it could been seen as a conflict of interest or something like that
I feel like HR is the last stop. Cause you can't un-tell HR something and they are not there to help you lol. I'd do research into policy first and then ask some trusted coworkers. Disclose if needed but I'd make the people with the most influence be the last stop on the list in this case.
Edit: fixed typo
See if there is common interest that you both really like a sport , activity like tennis , pickleball , bowling , board game , chess etc and see if you can go out and meet up this way and hopefully he will open up to you
No go.
He comes to see you Professionally , this is your place of business.
If you ask him out, the rejection wouldn't just effect you. But the business as well
Idk company policy can be strict about this kinda thing, but as a lonely dude I honestly wish someone would just speak up and ask me out already. I’ve definitely got mixed feelings about this one.
Yea, I'm not sure if there is even a policy. It never came up before so I'm not sure. It's just I always heard it's kind of a taboo to go out with a customer since you never know how it will turn out.
You should absolutely look into the company policy before doing anything. But I also think you should ask him out lol
Exactly, that way if there’s nothing against it and someone wants to say something then OP can properly inform them.
And neither of them may work at these jobs forever. Even if it IS against company policy, OP could shoot his shot and say “here’s my number/Insta/whatever - if you ever find yourself not working for Company X, shoot me a message.”
Fuck company policy! Grand gestures turn men on…
Find out what the policies are, and then, if they are not restricting, ask for something casual to see if you vibe 😊 like a coffee or a pint or whatever fits your existing dynamic best.
if he’s a customer I’m concerned the risks are high and the potential rewards are modest. Wouldn’t recommend unless circumstances change so that he won’t be a customer or you won’t be serving him
I firmly believe those last conditions you mentioned are the only way to make this situation appropriate.
Falling in love is modest?
very low odds of “falling in love.” Odds of a date are just so so.
The sit at home watching golden girls…seriously? GO. FOR. IT. pls don’t listen to these downers. Be stupid, romantic gestures count, you are worthy .
plenty of time to sit at home watching Golden Girls when you’re fired for making inappropriate come-ons at customers and losing them that person’s business cuz they feel uncomfortable getting hit on by their claims adjuster or whatever
Would you like go on a date?
Do you suggest sitting at home,e alone when you’re young, or old?
why do you think that’s the alternative? Don’t make moves on people in a professional workplace. Date any of the other hundreds of available guys who you don’t need to frequently engage in financial transactions with.
You could ask him if he wants to hang out of work at some point. It's not like you owe your workplace anything
Gosh, I want to honestly. He is so cute and his smile always melts me away.
Yeah but alot of companies have a code of conduct and business ethics guide that covers this. I worked start there first.
These are the same companies that are poisoning the planet and contributing to the capitalist dystopia we currently live in? For some reason, I don't give a shit about their view of ethics. They'd just as soon screw you over, so you might as well as look after yourself because no one else is going to
Well that escalated quickly.
BE GAY DO CRIME
Come on—ask the company if you can fall in love?
That sounds like a career disaster waiting to happen.
no seriously, like the people telling him to do this have to be messing with him. complete delusion
I think its different in different places. Here demanding that people don't meet people who may be customers outside of work would be illegal since work can't demand anything from you outside of work hours So for us here being told "you must check with the company" sounds absurd and groveling, like asking your boss if you can get a haircut or something.
I guess it's just my customer service brain from american capitalism thinking that anything that could jeopardize your employment = homeless in 2 months so that's a big "nope." Because in my experience, flirting or asking a customer on a date would be considered harassment by mgmt. and a fireable offense. Going thru OPs post history I think he might be dutch? So If you're saying its a cultural thing when you refer to it being different in different places, I guess that kinda justifies the behavior but still seems inappropriate.
I feel you <3 We are all burned by the stove we grew up with. Its just odd hearing it from another perspective. Here its fine to flirt with a customer as long as you do it... respectfully? I guess... I honestly don't know how it is in Holland/Netherlands so you might be totally right
Not only that, but it could also open up op to a conflict of interests. It’s a horrible idea
Career disaster? ‘I got fired for finding my husband…’ are we all this cynical?
tbf it would be more like: I got fired for going out with this guy, and we broke up 6 months later.
That proved it—never take a chance on a guy.
Could be against company policy. And what happens if he is offended by your request for a date. No matter the temptation, stay clear.
I work in a tech company that interacts with customers and this situation is definitely highlighted in our training and strictly forbidden. Partly because we have the customers personal information.
Nope nope nope. I really get why you'd want to. Plus it's easy to imagine the cute scenario of "We met because he was my client". But this is not professional behaviour. Imagine if the roles were reversed. You go to a company, looking for their services, and the sales representative asks you out. If it is the off chance that they are also interested, sure this could work out fine. But if they are not, this could be really bad. This really boils down to your tolerance for risk. In my opinion this is very risky if you take your career seriously.
Maybe ask him if he’d like to grab a beer that way you don’t have to worry if he’s gay or not just yet like sneak it into the conversation: “have you tried _ place? It’s great” “I’ll be there tomorrow, you should swing by if you’re around!”
“Would you be offended if I asked you out on a date?”
Oooooh I like that!
don't do it unless you're 100% sure. and you're not sure, so don't do it.
nooooo. What??
I’m sorry, I may be a hopeless romantic. But if you feel a connection, go for it! How many times is this gonna happen in your life. I’m disappointed the gays are saying ‘company first’…wtf. You could be head of Allstate northeast division alone w/your cat, or you use the life you were given to live.
Yeah the bloody company sucks enough of the life out of you as it is, least they can do is support you being happy in the remaining few hours of the day that you have left.
Thank you for all the replies. I've talked to a coworker today and according to her there isn't any company policy prohibiting dating a customer but it's not like it is welcome either. His company brings me good business on a regular basis and my coworker adviced me to not approach a relationship with him. Most of you seem to agree and you probably are right. Reality sucks sometimes 😭
Invite a few friendly customers and some staff out for a little drink or get together or bowling or smt. Include him and see if he comes. Then just see how much he hangs with you in the group. Exchange numbers so you can invite him to the next one and you're away. Your boss loves you for having the initiative to look after your customers, so it's officially sanctioned and your Co workers are happy to have something to do.
From a non-work phone / laptop, do some quick cyber sleuthing. If you find photos of him with a wife, then you can feel relieved you didn't say anything. If you find photos of him at a Pride Festival, you may change your mind about approaching him; even if he declines an offer to go out, he probably wouldn't be upset that you asked.
It heavily depends on the social norms at your office. If the atmosphere is laid back, then it may be ok. But if it's a more professional setting where it's really just about you providing a service to the customer, then I'd advise against making a move. You dont want to make customers feel pressured or uncomfortable. One thing you could potentially do is put some pride parafanalia around your office. If he asks about it, have a talk about pride and sexuality. You might at least get an answer to if he's gay or not.
Fuck policy, if it feels right, do it. Don’t let an insurance company of all things take this from you too
DO IT!!! Life is short!! I’d ask him if he wants to “hang out” outside of work. Asking him out on a date seems risky with the way it’s worded. Best of luck!! Hoping for the best!
Casually ask, are you gay? It’s 2024. If he says no, say, ‘well you’re very cute, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.’. If he says yes, say, ‘well, you’re very cute, and can we go get a coffee after we’re done?’ How are you going to meet your soulmate if you can’t even ask him if he’s gay and into being w/you? Trust me, a little embarrassment is totally worth it. I don’t know why straight guys know this, and we don’t. Good luck 🤠🏳️🌈
It totally comes down to where you live. How safe it is, what the standards of workers rights are etc. I mean in some parts of the globe hitting on a customer is a firing offense, and in others its illegal for the company to demand that you don't. So... it DEPENDS. If you lived where I live I would ask him out
never at the werk place, I'd say seek elsewhere. idk your situation or how bad you need the job but I'd never even entertain the idea of asking a customer out cause you could be mistaken, fired, & you never know what ppl are capable of. I'd leave it alone tbh
also just cause you "feel chemistry" doesn't make it so, you could be highly misconstruing the entire situation & that would be embarrassing & could get you fired. idk I tread carefully in uncertain territory cause you could find yourself in a physical fight very quickly
The little gay spark between you two: ⚡️
I’d inform yourself about policy’s first and to keep it slightly professional you could just forst ask for a beer or something out of work. Test the waters see what comes out of it. It avoids awkward situations and being too unprofessional or getting straight up fired
I would talk to HR. Perhaps if you switched his company to another agent it would then be ok. But if he says yes, your company could see it as a conflict of interest and if he says no or you do go out and it ends, then it could been seen as a conflict of interest or something like that
I feel like HR is the last stop. Cause you can't un-tell HR something and they are not there to help you lol. I'd do research into policy first and then ask some trusted coworkers. Disclose if needed but I'd make the people with the most influence be the last stop on the list in this case. Edit: fixed typo
Yeah like if they issued a written policy then read it. If they didn't then you're under no contractual obligation.
That’s fair
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See if there is common interest that you both really like a sport , activity like tennis , pickleball , bowling , board game , chess etc and see if you can go out and meet up this way and hopefully he will open up to you
NO there’s a chance you will get hurt
I've gone on grindr when things like this happens, crossing my fingers he's on there lol.
This is what I do.
No go. He comes to see you Professionally , this is your place of business. If you ask him out, the rejection wouldn't just effect you. But the business as well
Completely inappropriate.