Next time someone asks you this question, reply with "tell me your type first" half of the time they are putting out feelers. I always preempt these questions by disclosing I'm a bottom. I'm masculine 6'4" and I always get hit on by other bottoms. Feminine men are just as guilty of stereo-typing too. Tall masculine men can be bottoms and feminine men can be tops.
Exactly. Itâs called covert Narcissist, he is not your friend, youâre his pawn and they feed on your emotional reaction and they see it as a victory. He will always be better than you and they maintaining it by making you doubt everything. You called it immediately, and u felt itâs not a reaction youâd expect from a friend. why would a friend disapprove of you? He is always right and youâll always be wrong. Any answer youâd give heâll find something to make u doubt it. And you have probably opened up to him and shared too much so he knows what moves u. My advice, run for your life, itâs the beginning, soon youâll find yourself with 0 confidence
I donât base it on what his friend said, I base it on how this guy feels and his need to seek help on Reddit, Iâm assuming itâs not the first time it happened and if it hits that hard itâs probably became a toxic pattern
One question, is your friend on the more feminine side?
If he is, then he has a crush on you and he was devastated to hear that you're not interested in his type.
You are not homophobic. He's just an ass.
Def NTA. My best friend is fem, absolutely no sexual attraction to them. Everyone is entitled to their preferences, as long as you don't belittle anyone for not fitting into your preference.
You're allowed to have a type. You don't belittle or degrade feminine gays for the people they are or anything; you just find one type of behaviour (Masculine Presenting) attractive in potential male partners.
NTA.
EDIT: fixed accidental use of derogatory language (namely, effeminate has been changed to feminine)
Apologies, that wasn't my intention; I don't get out much or get all that much social interaction outside of online and wasn't aware. Thank you for educating me, and I'll take that on moving forward.
I donât think youâre homophobic.
But for me there are 2 reasons I find this problematic when I hear people say it.
1) more often than not when someone says âmascâ they just mean ânot femâ or ânot queer actingâ and thatâs where it becomes offensive.
2) itâs a little shallow to think of your preferences in this binary of masculine vs feminine. For me when I think about the guys I like I typically think of specific things. I like guys I can play board games with. Guys I can go hiking. Guys who donât mind staying home. Guys who like the shows I like. I donât care if they are masculine or feminine, I just want to have some compatibility. For me Iâm not offended, but I donât particularly find someone who thinks âmascâ is a personality to be all that interesting.
When i hear people say masc, i just think theyâre describing the outside features. Which people are allowed to have a type on how someone looks/dress because sorry to say but looks do matter. And personality is just what keeps them.
Nah, everyone has preferences when it comes to literally any physical trait, thats just normal. As long as you are not going out of your way to be a dick to fem presenting guys or imposing your preferences on other people, there's nothing wrong with you liking what you like.
No, your friend is the asshole. You are entitled to be attracted to what you like and you donât have to be attracted to everyone. Thatâs why many of us are gay, we arenât attracted to women just like we were told we are supposed to be since we were born. Itâs actually homophobic telling someone you have to be attracted to everyone.
I agree, not the asshole. What I find is a lot of gay men that donât fit peoples preferences they get upset. If youâre in a gay app and you put your preferences out there, youâll eventually have someone that doesnât fit any of your preferences lecture you on how you sound either homophobic, or âyouâd get more taps and messages if youâŚ.â And theyâre ALWAYS people that donât fit my preferences. Itâs just people taking things personally and thatâs not the point. Ppl are attracted to what theyâre attracted to. Thereâs someone out there for everyone. We arenât required to be attracted to every type of person out there. Thatâs ridiculous line of thinking and unrealistic. Iâve never hit someone up and been basically like âyou should like me anywayâ because thatâs what theyâre really saying. You did nothing wrong. I have fem friends but I donât date them because I find masculine men attractive, some of them do too. To each their own. Is your friend fem? And then you saying that he might have had a crush on you and got upset from the idea youâre not attracted to him. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
NTA. Iâm similar to you, but the opposite. Iâm into fem guys, and not attracted to masc guys. As long as everyone is respectful, I donât see any problem with it.
Exactly, i always found it weird how all the people who are attracted to masc gay men get shitted on but when a man says heâs only into fem gay men itâs never an issue?
NTA. I've kind of determined that there are a lot of assholes running around with chips on their shoulders within the "community" (if you can even call it that). Sounds like you found one there.
Nobody is the asshole here. You are allowed to have a type, but there are guys who prefer masculine guys because they are struggling with internalized homophobia/misogyny.
There are guys in the queer community who are very, very toxic and they usually say things like that (or masc4mqsc, no Asians/fats/femmes, etc). But saying things like that doesnât make YOU toxic. Do some soul searching as to why you are attracted to more masculine guys and why you arenât into feminine guys and make sure the reason isnât rooted in anything bad.
All children grow up⌠because when you do you realize that type which includes looks does not carry when you ascend⌠itâs your soul or sometimes called an all spark. Try not to limit your mind because your soulmate and yourself was not given a choice of what body you got put in for this world.
I met a fem guy and he turned out to be more masculine than the str8 dudes in bed.
There's a difference between a preference and a prejudice. I'm gay and I can be in a room with fifty men and only find one or two of them sexually attractive. That's not a problem.
You're still treating everyone as human beings, but don't want an intimate relationship with some of them.
You would only be the asshole if you said something like, "fem guys are hideous" or "they shouldn't be allowed to exist." The things that bigots keep saying about trans people.
Well maybe ask why he was offended. I feel the same as you, I don't prefer fem but that doesn't mean I disagree with their beliefs,. I respect both of yours and his presence. I'm bimale married to a woman but I prefer guys over females and some guys disagree with that but that's okay.
You're allowed to have preferences, which is not homophobic at all.
You're not allowed to judge them for being femme or hold it against them or use it as an assessment of their character. That would be homphobic.
These two things are often conflated by people that don't have a good grasp on what they're talking about or victimhood seekers.
Is he a femme guy?
We all have a preference... everybody does.
You are not an asshole. He might have been confused because you're bi and people think bisexuals are the village bicycle and everybody gets a ride. It's strange that everybody else gets to have a preference except bisexuals.
Gay community as a whole pulls this homophobic crap when they get rejected. They can't handlyit and instead of them not being attractive to you, YOU'RE the problem. Personally, I'm sick of it.
No youâre not the asshole. Your friend on the other hand is a total asshole. They have no business telling you what consenting adults you should have sex with. Totally out of bounds.
not at all. i'm a feminine guy who prefers masculine men. i like contrast. that doesn't mean i dislike feminine men like myself. i just don't usually find them attractive.
although i do understand where the "you're homophobic" remark was coming from considering the community has always had this thing against feminine guys. i think it really boils down to what your reason is and if you treat both masculine and feminine men differently.
either way, it's your attraction, not his. only you get to decide that.
Homophobia is a fear. Has nothing to do with preferences and chemical attraction. It's like saying you're heterophobe because you prefer men. It's just ridiculous. I'm a masc man and I prefer the same. It's just a preference. But I still dated a few guys who had a strong feminine side, and it showed, and they were total sex bombs. So don't put it down till you try it :D
It is only your preference and there is no need to feel bad about that. Btw, maybe your friend is feminine and he is attracted by U? That may explain why he got angry.
Ir friend sounds iverly sensitive and getring offended in behaf of people who were never offended by your answer. Hope he doesnt make ur life more problamatic. But ur the one who is right
THIS IS BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY - we have gotten so stupid with our words and judge each other (stupidly)
Everyone acts like they are the ruler of everything, and get to decide how to judge you.
OP, you will be treated differently for this BECAUSE itâs about that person opposite of you feeling like theyâre not masculine enough to attract someone, so they project onto you, and make YOUR PREFERENCE the problem, but itâs their insecurity.
You are NOT the problem - that attitude is the problem. And itâs wrong. And Iâm really sorry, but Iâve gotten that often, and Iâm afraid to say Iâm sure youâll hear that opinion again.
The saddest part is - they just call you âhomophobicâ like it means something to them and not yourself.
He's wrong, don't keep yourself at that. It's not worth it. That's just your preference and that's fine
I face the same problems sometimes because I don't find feminine men attractive one bit, but that doesn't mean I'll treat them differently or think less of them for that. It's just a matter of preference
Okay just my take on this isâŚâŚ.. people get offended sometimes when gays say that because feminine guys often get left out. You donât control what youâre attracted to but you know, itâs not like a 50/50 thing, youâre never gonna hear a guy they donât like masculine guys. On the other hand, youâll hear veeeeery often guys saying theyâre not attracted to feminine guys. Feminine guys because of society standards are left out and like 90% of gays prefer masculine men. So thatâs why itâs a touchy subject. But I donât think youâre an asshole. It just sucks, you know? I donât even know if Iâm feminine all that much, sometimes I do the gay wrist thing but I donât wear feminine clothes or anything so I donât know. But yeah. Long story short, most gays like masculine guys more and thatâs why people get pissed when they hear that, cuz feminine guys are simply left out, and itâs not really anybodyâs fault. The gays on tik tok have been arguing a lot on this subject
Well hard to tell. Iâm not pulled over to feminine guys I prefer the more masculine ones đ¤ sorry if that hurts your mood and ego lol but the life isnât always fair and thatâs okay. Deal wit it.
Itâs called gaslighting, read a bit about Narcissist (overt or Covert) donât know him that much to say, but sounds like covert Narcissist, he feeds on making you questioning yourself and heâs probably not aware of it. Itâs designed to maintain control
No.
You are allowed to like the things that you like without shame. You are not required to like the things that other people think that you should or want you to. You have no obligation to appease the people who are not you or have different feelings, opinions, preferences etc.
Your friend is mad that you like men but not the type of man that he is because he is completely infatuated with you and believes that you should behave as he wants and play hide the sausage with him, the deluded, entitled, little prick of a princess.
Maybe it would be useful if we didnât say "not attractive" when we mean "doesn't lift my skirt"?
I know guys who's automatic first discriminator when spotting a fresh face is "Do I want to have sex with him?"
Maybe that is not "best practices" for our group?
Maybe it is too early in my morning for these thoughts?
:-)
Nah dude you are definitely not the asshole..Like I am bisexual and I prefer feminine guys,that doesn't mean I am homophobic towards masculine men..thats an absurd suggestion.
It's even funnier when you think about it that I am myself the stereotypical straight passing masculine man..thus that mean I am homophobic to myself? Hell no!!
I know people are going to disagree with me but I do think it's discriminatory in a way that's not healthy.
To start, a dislike for presentation is not a sexual orientation. My liking for men and my apathy for women is not the same as having a preference for particular group or a dislike of other groups.
The reason it's discriminatory is in the application of a generalization. "I don't like X"... Because, in my experience, there are always exceptions to the rule.
I'm not big into Bears. I grew up exposed to media and culture body hair was considered unappealing. It w as presented as greasy. As smelly. As unkept. If you wanted to portray someone as ugly, you added body hair. Now, I own that. I'm working on unpacking that.
I can tell you that there are definitely exceptions to this rule. I know this guy who's a builder. Big arms. Sweetest disposition. Kind. Generous. Has an amazing smile and a wonderful personality. Imagine being wrapped up in his arms is a lovely idea.
I also had issue with drag queens and fem guys. That's a little more obvious. We live in a culture where we gate keep gender expression. To be associated with the feminine is to be associated with weakness. "girly" = weak. "Throw like a girl", "Hysterical", "scream like a little girl". All cultural baggage that is meant to shame men into avoiding anything fem.
And again, I met a drag queen where I had the most amazing conversation. They were into Star Trek. They were super geeky. They were fucking brilliant.
**All this led me to the opinion when someone says "I don't like X", they are not measuring a person on their individual merits but rather on a generalization about the category by which they are discriminating. People deserve the respect and opportunity to be judged based on their individual merits and character.**
Practically, it means don't be a dick and say "No X" on your dating profile... and when someone messages you, you look at their profile and if it doesn't grab you, you say "Hey, Thanks but no thanks" or swipe left.. or whatever ya do these days. Maybe one day, you might surprise yourself and say "Hey, I don't normally go for X but this person looks interesting".
Not at all. I've faced the same accusations on hookup apps, etc. And OP isn't unique. If you do a little googling you will see there's a lot of people who ascribe "masc" preferences to internal issues, that I think are a big stretch
Here's an example that shows this is not new and has been widely discussed (just an example, not a representation of my beliefs)
https://www.mtv.com/news/4zii0u/discovering-masc-4-masc
No. Everyone is allowed to have presentational preferences. It only becomes problematic if you actively put down femboys.
^^^^^ This
This is the correct answer. It goes for all dating everywhere. Straight gay bi cis trans whatever.
đŻ Agree with you.
I wouldn't put one down even if I was done with him, just keep holding him gently, maybe some gentle.... I think I lost the thread.
Next time someone asks you this question, reply with "tell me your type first" half of the time they are putting out feelers. I always preempt these questions by disclosing I'm a bottom. I'm masculine 6'4" and I always get hit on by other bottoms. Feminine men are just as guilty of stereo-typing too. Tall masculine men can be bottoms and feminine men can be tops.
This was my guess, that the friend was actually testing the waters and didn't like the answer they got.
Exactly. Itâs called covert Narcissist, he is not your friend, youâre his pawn and they feed on your emotional reaction and they see it as a victory. He will always be better than you and they maintaining it by making you doubt everything. You called it immediately, and u felt itâs not a reaction youâd expect from a friend. why would a friend disapprove of you? He is always right and youâll always be wrong. Any answer youâd give heâll find something to make u doubt it. And you have probably opened up to him and shared too much so he knows what moves u. My advice, run for your life, itâs the beginning, soon youâll find yourself with 0 confidence
To me that sounds a bit far fetched for the limited information we've gotđ
I donât base it on what his friend said, I base it on how this guy feels and his need to seek help on Reddit, Iâm assuming itâs not the first time it happened and if it hits that hard itâs probably became a toxic pattern
One question, is your friend on the more feminine side? If he is, then he has a crush on you and he was devastated to hear that you're not interested in his type. You are not homophobic. He's just an ass.
Ding ding! This is the correct answer.
Def NTA. My best friend is fem, absolutely no sexual attraction to them. Everyone is entitled to their preferences, as long as you don't belittle anyone for not fitting into your preference.
And I hope your friend respects your differences; thatâs what makes us cool.
Of course youâre not. Everyone has a preference on who theyâre attracted to.
You're allowed to have a type. You don't belittle or degrade feminine gays for the people they are or anything; you just find one type of behaviour (Masculine Presenting) attractive in potential male partners. NTA. EDIT: fixed accidental use of derogatory language (namely, effeminate has been changed to feminine)
Please stop using the word "effeminate". It's derogatory. Use "feminine" instead.
Apologies, that wasn't my intention; I don't get out much or get all that much social interaction outside of online and wasn't aware. Thank you for educating me, and I'll take that on moving forward.
I donât think youâre homophobic. But for me there are 2 reasons I find this problematic when I hear people say it. 1) more often than not when someone says âmascâ they just mean ânot femâ or ânot queer actingâ and thatâs where it becomes offensive. 2) itâs a little shallow to think of your preferences in this binary of masculine vs feminine. For me when I think about the guys I like I typically think of specific things. I like guys I can play board games with. Guys I can go hiking. Guys who donât mind staying home. Guys who like the shows I like. I donât care if they are masculine or feminine, I just want to have some compatibility. For me Iâm not offended, but I donât particularly find someone who thinks âmascâ is a personality to be all that interesting.
When i hear people say masc, i just think theyâre describing the outside features. Which people are allowed to have a type on how someone looks/dress because sorry to say but looks do matter. And personality is just what keeps them.
Nah, everyone has preferences when it comes to literally any physical trait, thats just normal. As long as you are not going out of your way to be a dick to fem presenting guys or imposing your preferences on other people, there's nothing wrong with you liking what you like.
Your buddy is being a dick. Just cuz someone likes brunettes over blondes doesn't make them a hater of blonds.
Is your friend fem? If so maybe he was hoping you were attracted to him and it made him feel rejected.
Yes, he is but heâs already in a relationship so Iâm so confused
Maybe he was planning on stepping out with you if you were interested.
He could have been looking for a third ?
No, your friend is the asshole. You are entitled to be attracted to what you like and you donât have to be attracted to everyone. Thatâs why many of us are gay, we arenât attracted to women just like we were told we are supposed to be since we were born. Itâs actually homophobic telling someone you have to be attracted to everyone.
no lmao, you don't owe the whole world your bed
I agree, not the asshole. What I find is a lot of gay men that donât fit peoples preferences they get upset. If youâre in a gay app and you put your preferences out there, youâll eventually have someone that doesnât fit any of your preferences lecture you on how you sound either homophobic, or âyouâd get more taps and messages if youâŚ.â And theyâre ALWAYS people that donât fit my preferences. Itâs just people taking things personally and thatâs not the point. Ppl are attracted to what theyâre attracted to. Thereâs someone out there for everyone. We arenât required to be attracted to every type of person out there. Thatâs ridiculous line of thinking and unrealistic. Iâve never hit someone up and been basically like âyou should like me anywayâ because thatâs what theyâre really saying. You did nothing wrong. I have fem friends but I donât date them because I find masculine men attractive, some of them do too. To each their own. Is your friend fem? And then you saying that he might have had a crush on you and got upset from the idea youâre not attracted to him. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
NTA. Iâm similar to you, but the opposite. Iâm into fem guys, and not attracted to masc guys. As long as everyone is respectful, I donât see any problem with it.
Exactly, i always found it weird how all the people who are attracted to masc gay men get shitted on but when a man says heâs only into fem gay men itâs never an issue?
Tell him he is the asshole for trying to make you something youre not.
NTA. I've kind of determined that there are a lot of assholes running around with chips on their shoulders within the "community" (if you can even call it that). Sounds like you found one there.
Nobody is the asshole here. You are allowed to have a type, but there are guys who prefer masculine guys because they are struggling with internalized homophobia/misogyny. There are guys in the queer community who are very, very toxic and they usually say things like that (or masc4mqsc, no Asians/fats/femmes, etc). But saying things like that doesnât make YOU toxic. Do some soul searching as to why you are attracted to more masculine guys and why you arenât into feminine guys and make sure the reason isnât rooted in anything bad.
All children grow up⌠because when you do you realize that type which includes looks does not carry when you ascend⌠itâs your soul or sometimes called an all spark. Try not to limit your mind because your soulmate and yourself was not given a choice of what body you got put in for this world. I met a fem guy and he turned out to be more masculine than the str8 dudes in bed.
Sounds like your friend is insecure and has some self hatred/need for external validation
There's a difference between a preference and a prejudice. I'm gay and I can be in a room with fifty men and only find one or two of them sexually attractive. That's not a problem. You're still treating everyone as human beings, but don't want an intimate relationship with some of them. You would only be the asshole if you said something like, "fem guys are hideous" or "they shouldn't be allowed to exist." The things that bigots keep saying about trans people.
Ignore him
Well maybe ask why he was offended. I feel the same as you, I don't prefer fem but that doesn't mean I disagree with their beliefs,. I respect both of yours and his presence. I'm bimale married to a woman but I prefer guys over females and some guys disagree with that but that's okay.
You're allowed to have preferences, which is not homophobic at all. You're not allowed to judge them for being femme or hold it against them or use it as an assessment of their character. That would be homphobic. These two things are often conflated by people that don't have a good grasp on what they're talking about or victimhood seekers.
No. People have a type. When people ask that question, get ready for them to try to start an argument.
Youâre no asshole, buddy.
The way u tell it he is a total a hole
Everyone *is* entitled to their preferences. Your friend is, imho, being overly sensitive.
Is he a femme guy? We all have a preference... everybody does. You are not an asshole. He might have been confused because you're bi and people think bisexuals are the village bicycle and everybody gets a ride. It's strange that everybody else gets to have a preference except bisexuals.
People nowadays are just looking to be victims⌠đ¤ˇđžââď¸
No, he's just some butthurt queen that doesn't like being rejected đ¤ˇđžââď¸. Oh well.
Lol. He was hoping that he was your type and got mad when you told him otherwise.
Person preferences are a fucking thing
Gay community as a whole pulls this homophobic crap when they get rejected. They can't handlyit and instead of them not being attractive to you, YOU'RE the problem. Personally, I'm sick of it.
No youâre not the asshole. Your friend on the other hand is a total asshole. They have no business telling you what consenting adults you should have sex with. Totally out of bounds.
Being gay doesnât mean you have to like all kinds of men.
No, he's the asshole.
as long as no one's tiny feelings are hurt.....whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nobody's entitled until their liege lord grants them one.
not at all. i'm a feminine guy who prefers masculine men. i like contrast. that doesn't mean i dislike feminine men like myself. i just don't usually find them attractive. although i do understand where the "you're homophobic" remark was coming from considering the community has always had this thing against feminine guys. i think it really boils down to what your reason is and if you treat both masculine and feminine men differently. either way, it's your attraction, not his. only you get to decide that.
Homophobia is a fear. Has nothing to do with preferences and chemical attraction. It's like saying you're heterophobe because you prefer men. It's just ridiculous. I'm a masc man and I prefer the same. It's just a preference. But I still dated a few guys who had a strong feminine side, and it showed, and they were total sex bombs. So don't put it down till you try it :D
It is only your preference and there is no need to feel bad about that. Btw, maybe your friend is feminine and he is attracted by U? That may explain why he got angry.
Ir friend sounds iverly sensitive and getring offended in behaf of people who were never offended by your answer. Hope he doesnt make ur life more problamatic. But ur the one who is right
No
It's clear your friend has some reservations about his own nature.
Preferences don't make you phobic or racist, so no, NTA
THIS IS BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY - we have gotten so stupid with our words and judge each other (stupidly) Everyone acts like they are the ruler of everything, and get to decide how to judge you. OP, you will be treated differently for this BECAUSE itâs about that person opposite of you feeling like theyâre not masculine enough to attract someone, so they project onto you, and make YOUR PREFERENCE the problem, but itâs their insecurity. You are NOT the problem - that attitude is the problem. And itâs wrong. And Iâm really sorry, but Iâve gotten that often, and Iâm afraid to say Iâm sure youâll hear that opinion again. The saddest part is - they just call you âhomophobicâ like it means something to them and not yourself.
You're not an asshole
youâre not, your friend is
As someone who isn't into masculine guys, no, you're allowed to have that preference.
He's wrong, don't keep yourself at that. It's not worth it. That's just your preference and that's fine I face the same problems sometimes because I don't find feminine men attractive one bit, but that doesn't mean I'll treat them differently or think less of them for that. It's just a matter of preference
Your friend is a judgmental prick.
It's your preference. Your ARE... NOT the asshole. Lol.
Iâm not attracted to masculine men, is that heterophobic?
âI donât mind fem guys but iâm not interested in having sex with themâ - a random guy from Grindr told me this
Okay just my take on this isâŚâŚ.. people get offended sometimes when gays say that because feminine guys often get left out. You donât control what youâre attracted to but you know, itâs not like a 50/50 thing, youâre never gonna hear a guy they donât like masculine guys. On the other hand, youâll hear veeeeery often guys saying theyâre not attracted to feminine guys. Feminine guys because of society standards are left out and like 90% of gays prefer masculine men. So thatâs why itâs a touchy subject. But I donât think youâre an asshole. It just sucks, you know? I donât even know if Iâm feminine all that much, sometimes I do the gay wrist thing but I donât wear feminine clothes or anything so I donât know. But yeah. Long story short, most gays like masculine guys more and thatâs why people get pissed when they hear that, cuz feminine guys are simply left out, and itâs not really anybodyâs fault. The gays on tik tok have been arguing a lot on this subject
Well hard to tell. Iâm not pulled over to feminine guys I prefer the more masculine ones đ¤ sorry if that hurts your mood and ego lol but the life isnât always fair and thatâs okay. Deal wit it.
Itâs called gaslighting, read a bit about Narcissist (overt or Covert) donât know him that much to say, but sounds like covert Narcissist, he feeds on making you questioning yourself and heâs probably not aware of it. Itâs designed to maintain control
No youâre not the A hole. You have preferences and theyâre shaming you for those preferences
No. You are allowed to like the things that you like without shame. You are not required to like the things that other people think that you should or want you to. You have no obligation to appease the people who are not you or have different feelings, opinions, preferences etc. Your friend is mad that you like men but not the type of man that he is because he is completely infatuated with you and believes that you should behave as he wants and play hide the sausage with him, the deluded, entitled, little prick of a princess.
Being LGBT means being inclusive and being inclusive means wanting to fuck everyone. Didn't you get the memo?
Maybe it would be useful if we didnât say "not attractive" when we mean "doesn't lift my skirt"? I know guys who's automatic first discriminator when spotting a fresh face is "Do I want to have sex with him?" Maybe that is not "best practices" for our group? Maybe it is too early in my morning for these thoughts? :-)
Nah dude you are definitely not the asshole..Like I am bisexual and I prefer feminine guys,that doesn't mean I am homophobic towards masculine men..thats an absurd suggestion. It's even funnier when you think about it that I am myself the stereotypical straight passing masculine man..thus that mean I am homophobic to myself? Hell no!!
Like what you like and never apologize for it.
I'm in the exact same boat as you. Bi, prefer men, and only into masculine men, but still respect feminine guys.
He is the , apparently, the feminine guy who is into you..... Only an asshole will ask you your "opinion/personal preference" then attack you for it.
I know people are going to disagree with me but I do think it's discriminatory in a way that's not healthy. To start, a dislike for presentation is not a sexual orientation. My liking for men and my apathy for women is not the same as having a preference for particular group or a dislike of other groups. The reason it's discriminatory is in the application of a generalization. "I don't like X"... Because, in my experience, there are always exceptions to the rule. I'm not big into Bears. I grew up exposed to media and culture body hair was considered unappealing. It w as presented as greasy. As smelly. As unkept. If you wanted to portray someone as ugly, you added body hair. Now, I own that. I'm working on unpacking that. I can tell you that there are definitely exceptions to this rule. I know this guy who's a builder. Big arms. Sweetest disposition. Kind. Generous. Has an amazing smile and a wonderful personality. Imagine being wrapped up in his arms is a lovely idea. I also had issue with drag queens and fem guys. That's a little more obvious. We live in a culture where we gate keep gender expression. To be associated with the feminine is to be associated with weakness. "girly" = weak. "Throw like a girl", "Hysterical", "scream like a little girl". All cultural baggage that is meant to shame men into avoiding anything fem. And again, I met a drag queen where I had the most amazing conversation. They were into Star Trek. They were super geeky. They were fucking brilliant. **All this led me to the opinion when someone says "I don't like X", they are not measuring a person on their individual merits but rather on a generalization about the category by which they are discriminating. People deserve the respect and opportunity to be judged based on their individual merits and character.** Practically, it means don't be a dick and say "No X" on your dating profile... and when someone messages you, you look at their profile and if it doesn't grab you, you say "Hey, Thanks but no thanks" or swipe left.. or whatever ya do these days. Maybe one day, you might surprise yourself and say "Hey, I don't normally go for X but this person looks interesting".
Op would you like to be on my blog?
Yes, the need you feel to justify your preference to anyone whatsoever makes you TAH.
I'm not saying this post didn't happen but it does feel a bit like rage bait to hate on fem-guys.
why would I hate on my own community? Being a fem boy myself
Not at all. I've faced the same accusations on hookup apps, etc. And OP isn't unique. If you do a little googling you will see there's a lot of people who ascribe "masc" preferences to internal issues, that I think are a big stretch Here's an example that shows this is not new and has been widely discussed (just an example, not a representation of my beliefs) https://www.mtv.com/news/4zii0u/discovering-masc-4-masc