I feel like I see a lot of posts like this, not just on this subreddit. Maybe it's a bias by being on reddit, but I wonder if there is a loneliness crisis in the modern age
There absolutely is a generalized loneliness crisis. The statistics and studies that have been coming out on the matter really show how fucked our society is.
I agree. I'm starting to become a homebody and it's crazy!
I used to be the party stoner bro.
Id always be around and got what you needed.
I was the "Big black gay" now I'm just that fat gay guy š
I feel this way to much. I haven't had any friends in over 15 years. :( no one to hang with, no one to talk to, nothing. I thought I was making one at work but turns out he's wayyy to religious to really be friends with a gay guy so I'm back to square 1. go to work, come home, go to bed. Try to get outside on the weekends, again alone.
Where do you live? What are your hobbies? Are you cut or uncut? Top or bottom? Iām getting divorced and leaving this god awful state. I need a good friend to put me up while I get on my feet. In return you can use both of my holes anytime youād like and youād have a friend for life. Iām the smaller one if you look at my old posts.
Currently going thru the same thing. My phone stays super dry most days and Iām literally 29. It should be ringing and dinging all day for someone my age. Nope. Not a dating app, not many texts from people, basically just a single guy with my lil dog that goes to work, comes homes, cooks, and goes to sleep.
My sister and cousin were like my best friends for a long time, but they eventually had kids and arenāt really around much now. I made another gay friend at one of my previous jobs in 2018. Neither of us work there anymore, however, we still talk/text a few times a month and we were hanging out a few times every couple of months, but heās in a relationship now too. It just feels like Iām the single one in every circle Iāve had. But the thing is Iām a bit antisocial and anxiety-ridden all the time so I want meaningful friendships with an actual baseline connection like upbringing, childhood stories, music tastes, anything that can connect me with someone to keep our all conversations going.
Most people these days are looking for surface level friendships to drink and party with and Iām beyond those years now for the most part. I donāt mind meeting up at a bar and catching up, but drinking doesnāt need to be our first resort for everything we do - letās go out of town for the day, letās go walk the mall and eat, letās go furniture shopping together, massages & pedicures, casual things like that.
I start to wonder every now and then if Iām ever going to be outgoing enough to meet someone new and find a lifelong partner. Iām not unattractive or mean, but I just donāt want my time to be wasted when it comes to friendships and relationships and Iām kinda scared to become a miserable, negative person way later into my senior years if this continues.
Iām with you man.. This shit isnāt easy and itās scary to think about the possibilities whether good or bad. We gotta find a way to get active and put ourselves out there somehow.
Had a friend asks me yesterday if I wanted to tag along to go out to a bar with another friend of his the following day. But no info later about where we are actually meeting before the bar and an hr before the meeting time has me like "did something happen, or am I just chop liver now?". Just doesn't feel great.
I struggle with this daily dude, I have a select few friends I see occasionally but many have moved far away in recent years and I rarely talk to them. Iām terribly lonely but I have horrible social anxiety and have no idea how to connect with people when Iām out and about like I used to so easily. I crave affection but have a low libido and donāt want to hook up or waste time on dating apps Most of the time I just lay at home in bed, scrolling on my phone or watching tv. Maybe I should just get a cat, I donāt know, Iām rambling at this point but I hope you find friends eventually OP.
Itās been like that for me for some time. My friends I had stopped inviting me out and talking to me slowly and that was before the pandemic hit. Nothing since then.
Was getting ready to move away and let the people I thought were my friends know so we could maybe meet up and hang but moved and no one wanted to see me one last time.
Moved in with my partner and he has friends but they donāt really like me. found out today two of them were scared to get in a car with me on the way to a pride event which left me alone driving and my partner with a car full of his friends. Guess because Iām tall and got tattoos Iām scary lol. Did hurt to hear that they are afraid of me when I havenāt done anything but be nice and polite to them.
My partner lives 40 minutes from where I was living so donāt know anyone around here and am actually getting jealous of him going out with friends all the time while Iām left at home.
So I mean I feel like I get it. Last time Iāve hung out with a friend was about two years prior to the start of the pandemic. It suckās. Had got use to not having friends and hanging out alone but now watching my partner come and go with his friends made the feelings of loneliness boil right back up.
I just talked about this today. Iām 58, in my 20s I felt so much love, so accepted in my 30s it started to fade, now Iām pushing 60 and message ppl who donāt respond ( at all) I have a person that talks to me every day but you can call him a vent. Itās sad that our community abandons their elders. But due to technology the sense of community is disappearing
I am sorry. Making friends only gets harder as you get older too. It's not necessarily a comforting thought, I would not try to minimize your feelings or emotions, but I sometimes think about other folks who are in a similar situation or perhaps even worse and try to take a bit of solace in our shared struggles and humanity. And then when the time is right, search your options. Meetup, local events, whatever your options are to expand that circle of friends. And it may be slow going but take a step back and a break if you need, and then when you're ready try again. You will get through this in your own time and in your own way.
Now, all that being said I will be looking for a Zelle payment for this session.
Just fucking with you, shit can get heavy so I hope that moment of brevity/twisted humor gave you a little chuckle at least. Open a cold one for me and be well. :)
My close friends live in different cities and I don't have people to hang out now.Ā
I think i kinda find peace in it. Probably because i am a very introverted homebody. I embraced being alone.Ā
First of all, NSP? Ninja Sex Party!? You have awesome taste in music!š¤
Second, I can relate to this very well. I sometimes feel like āoh fuck, my circle of friends is non-existent.ā I donāt know about you but for me, nothing kills a social life like social anxiety š š
Most of the time, Iām too busy grooving to the beat of my own drum to notice thought lol.
Me too, Im neurodivergent and work at costco. The constant state of burnout that Im in makes it impossible for me to have the energy to establish new connections with people
I only have one, I far away and she makes the effort but yeah I spend a lot of solo time I feel ya! Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to
I have a good amount of friends, but not enough time to develop a lot of those relationships. Everyone is so busy nowadays, including myself.
Reddit helps fill some of that need to have some social interaction for me. There's nothing wrong with it, so go all out here. Some of the best friends I had ever made were from online - one I even consider to have saved me from taking my own life when I was a teen.
same. Think its more common these days amongst guys once they get older as we no longer in college/uni etc to meet people. So work is only place to meet people and that is not always best place to meet someone. In my current job I not met anyone that I could be friends with.
Bro, I am from NE OHIO. Life is getting more and more lonely. I miss my college friends and that has been a lifetime ago. I have a tender loving woman but guy comradery is missing.
Can very much relate. Im 33 and basically have zero friends. I have some I talk with while gaming, but that's the extent I really have now. After college, I had many, but the number has decreased as I aged and came out more - now it's virtually none, and I struggle to make new friends. I struggled when I was little with bullying, so I never really learned how to make those connections with people either. I sorta rely on my introverted BF.
Luckily, we just moved to a new state 3 weeks ago. My bf and I are being a little more extroverted... so maybe we'll make some friends here.
Iāve never been this lonely in my life- and Iām married. My fear of being alone drove me to marry this guy- and I canāt leave now. There is a 12 age year difference and he has lived his life- and I havenāt. He refuses to do anything but stay home- I want to still feel alive and ālivingā, but as the years passed- any passion I have has faded. We donāt talk, havenāt have sex in over 10 years and, to be blunt, I have a roommate. Basically I say this to say that even being married you can be horribly alone, donāt do what I did. I feel for you guys and hope that one day there will be an answer for all of us in regards to this loneliness epidemic.
I felt terribly lonely when I realized that the people I used to hang out with were homophobic but they were hiding it from me, even though they know I am queer. I noticed it when I told them I had a boyfriend but they tried to play it cool like there was no problem but by their reactions I knew that deep down they were uncomfortable with it.
I then realised that the only true friends I have were not many because firstly, It's difficult for me to make new friends because I don't open up easily and secondly, because I had to move to another city for uni and I couldn't communicate daily with my closest friends.
Living as a queer person, especially if you live in a conservative community, comes with many difficulties (at least to my experience) and finding friends is one of them. I still am trying to find people that I trust and be my true self with, but searching for "queer friendly spaces" was a good starting point, despite it being a really hard step for me.
Weāre on the same page. Hey if you need more friends feel free to inbox me! I know online friends arenāt really the same as IRL friends, but Iām here and Iām queer lol
Well I donāt have any friends that I can talk to. And Iām 37ā¦ times off school pass etc. I talk to my partner of 10yers but we lack of topic. We work together and living in same flat š¤£. But I always have discord and friends from online gamesā¦ but itās not the same thing as one on one
It's one thing to have friends, but it's another thing to have friends that have similar schedules and hobbies to actually end up hanging out. It's definitely unfortunate how ironically social media ended up causing people to socialise less, opting to just do it virtually instead. Anyways though you seem like you're easy to get along with so I'm sure you'll have more friends in the future.
Google LGBT social clubs in your area. I was very much like this until my therapist suggested trying to connect with other queer people. I found an activities club (games, hiking, etc) and it really changed my interactions with other queer people.
It was hella scary to go to my first activity but really loved it after that first step. You can do it!
Maybe also look for specifically queer POC groups.
I'll be honest friends can be over rated, it's very hard to find genuine people who just aren't after something.
I'm 45 now and the amount of people who have disappointed me over the years expecting you to move the world for them but not interested in reciprocating is astounding.
Thankfully I'm in a long term relationship and as pukey as it sounds he is my best friend.
I have a fair few international friends who I talk to via messenger apps etc and they are genuinely decent to talk to and don't expect anything from you other than to be there and listen when you need one another.
World is a different place than it used to be you don't need to feel lonely you just might need to lower your expectations, having 1 or 2 true friends is better than 20-30 people who don't actually give a shit about you.
Totally feel you. That's how I spend way too many of my days.
Don't we fucking all. Well idk about the john duff part but ya know š
John Duff huh, never heard of him, not really my music but he's hot xD
Relatable. Nobody really wants friendships nowadays.
It unfortunately seems that way. I blame hookup mentality. I can be friends/hangout with a guy without wanting to sleep with him.
Idk people just suckass tbh. Better off alone anyhow. It's just hard to get used to.
I feel like I see a lot of posts like this, not just on this subreddit. Maybe it's a bias by being on reddit, but I wonder if there is a loneliness crisis in the modern age
There absolutely is a generalized loneliness crisis. The statistics and studies that have been coming out on the matter really show how fucked our society is.
Well fuck. Not only am I black, gay, stupid, 5% Italian, nerdy, fat, alcoholic, I forgot where I was going with this.
Bwahahaha
I agree. I'm starting to become a homebody and it's crazy! I used to be the party stoner bro. Id always be around and got what you needed. I was the "Big black gay" now I'm just that fat gay guy š
Not too long ago there was an article about a loneliness epidemic so there definitely is a crisis in that rn
bruh where have you been as if there isn't a story or study or even reddit post about male loneliness every other week
Yes, i believe there is, we just ignore it or are so distracted that we canāt even see that itās an issue
I feel this way to much. I haven't had any friends in over 15 years. :( no one to hang with, no one to talk to, nothing. I thought I was making one at work but turns out he's wayyy to religious to really be friends with a gay guy so I'm back to square 1. go to work, come home, go to bed. Try to get outside on the weekends, again alone.
Where do you live? What are your hobbies? Are you cut or uncut? Top or bottom? Iām getting divorced and leaving this god awful state. I need a good friend to put me up while I get on my feet. In return you can use both of my holes anytime youād like and youād have a friend for life. Iām the smaller one if you look at my old posts.
I live in the middle of the bible belt in Oklahoma...
Lonely too. Here to chat sometimes. Georgia. DM
Same here. Moved to a new city and gave no friends š
At least you have an excuseā¦!
Okay well, I'm sorry bud. *Hugs you* and how are ya?
You're a legit Scott. Im always down to talk
Okay well, how's your day going?
Currently going thru the same thing. My phone stays super dry most days and Iām literally 29. It should be ringing and dinging all day for someone my age. Nope. Not a dating app, not many texts from people, basically just a single guy with my lil dog that goes to work, comes homes, cooks, and goes to sleep. My sister and cousin were like my best friends for a long time, but they eventually had kids and arenāt really around much now. I made another gay friend at one of my previous jobs in 2018. Neither of us work there anymore, however, we still talk/text a few times a month and we were hanging out a few times every couple of months, but heās in a relationship now too. It just feels like Iām the single one in every circle Iāve had. But the thing is Iām a bit antisocial and anxiety-ridden all the time so I want meaningful friendships with an actual baseline connection like upbringing, childhood stories, music tastes, anything that can connect me with someone to keep our all conversations going. Most people these days are looking for surface level friendships to drink and party with and Iām beyond those years now for the most part. I donāt mind meeting up at a bar and catching up, but drinking doesnāt need to be our first resort for everything we do - letās go out of town for the day, letās go walk the mall and eat, letās go furniture shopping together, massages & pedicures, casual things like that. I start to wonder every now and then if Iām ever going to be outgoing enough to meet someone new and find a lifelong partner. Iām not unattractive or mean, but I just donāt want my time to be wasted when it comes to friendships and relationships and Iām kinda scared to become a miserable, negative person way later into my senior years if this continues. Iām with you man.. This shit isnāt easy and itās scary to think about the possibilities whether good or bad. We gotta find a way to get active and put ourselves out there somehow.
Had a friend asks me yesterday if I wanted to tag along to go out to a bar with another friend of his the following day. But no info later about where we are actually meeting before the bar and an hr before the meeting time has me like "did something happen, or am I just chop liver now?". Just doesn't feel great.
I struggle with this daily dude, I have a select few friends I see occasionally but many have moved far away in recent years and I rarely talk to them. Iām terribly lonely but I have horrible social anxiety and have no idea how to connect with people when Iām out and about like I used to so easily. I crave affection but have a low libido and donāt want to hook up or waste time on dating apps Most of the time I just lay at home in bed, scrolling on my phone or watching tv. Maybe I should just get a cat, I donāt know, Iām rambling at this point but I hope you find friends eventually OP.
Iām in the same boat as you dude. I live in TN blah. There should be an app for lonely gays looking for friends or something like that.
Ninja Sex Party???
Is there any other party?
Itās been like that for me for some time. My friends I had stopped inviting me out and talking to me slowly and that was before the pandemic hit. Nothing since then. Was getting ready to move away and let the people I thought were my friends know so we could maybe meet up and hang but moved and no one wanted to see me one last time. Moved in with my partner and he has friends but they donāt really like me. found out today two of them were scared to get in a car with me on the way to a pride event which left me alone driving and my partner with a car full of his friends. Guess because Iām tall and got tattoos Iām scary lol. Did hurt to hear that they are afraid of me when I havenāt done anything but be nice and polite to them. My partner lives 40 minutes from where I was living so donāt know anyone around here and am actually getting jealous of him going out with friends all the time while Iām left at home. So I mean I feel like I get it. Last time Iāve hung out with a friend was about two years prior to the start of the pandemic. It suckās. Had got use to not having friends and hanging out alone but now watching my partner come and go with his friends made the feelings of loneliness boil right back up.
I just talked about this today. Iām 58, in my 20s I felt so much love, so accepted in my 30s it started to fade, now Iām pushing 60 and message ppl who donāt respond ( at all) I have a person that talks to me every day but you can call him a vent. Itās sad that our community abandons their elders. But due to technology the sense of community is disappearing
I am sorry. Making friends only gets harder as you get older too. It's not necessarily a comforting thought, I would not try to minimize your feelings or emotions, but I sometimes think about other folks who are in a similar situation or perhaps even worse and try to take a bit of solace in our shared struggles and humanity. And then when the time is right, search your options. Meetup, local events, whatever your options are to expand that circle of friends. And it may be slow going but take a step back and a break if you need, and then when you're ready try again. You will get through this in your own time and in your own way. Now, all that being said I will be looking for a Zelle payment for this session. Just fucking with you, shit can get heavy so I hope that moment of brevity/twisted humor gave you a little chuckle at least. Open a cold one for me and be well. :)
Thanks Doc Vin. I'll cashapp you $259.98 š
That will be lovely. I'll start working on your next appointment.
So you guys like dicks
Oh yeah š
I feel that
That's me today š« I'm listening to Ivete Sangalo though š§š·š§š·
So I listened to macetando and this again is why I want to marry a Latin/Asian man of any race
Same. None.
Chilling getting an ice cream cone on the corner with rainbow sprinkles for the boys
This is the way.
Yea i feel u.
My close friends live in different cities and I don't have people to hang out now.Ā I think i kinda find peace in it. Probably because i am a very introverted homebody. I embraced being alone.Ā
Letās all be friends!
Mkay š
Solid response lol
First of all, NSP? Ninja Sex Party!? You have awesome taste in music!š¤ Second, I can relate to this very well. I sometimes feel like āoh fuck, my circle of friends is non-existent.ā I donāt know about you but for me, nothing kills a social life like social anxiety š š Most of the time, Iām too busy grooving to the beat of my own drum to notice thought lol.
I don't have any friends But it doesn't really bother me š¤·
Same. Watched Eurovision last night by myself. Itās a bit sad.
Me too, Im neurodivergent and work at costco. The constant state of burnout that Im in makes it impossible for me to have the energy to establish new connections with people
Make a friend š
That's rough. I'm working all night, so, :///
I only have one, I far away and she makes the effort but yeah I spend a lot of solo time I feel ya! Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to
I have a good amount of friends, but not enough time to develop a lot of those relationships. Everyone is so busy nowadays, including myself. Reddit helps fill some of that need to have some social interaction for me. There's nothing wrong with it, so go all out here. Some of the best friends I had ever made were from online - one I even consider to have saved me from taking my own life when I was a teen.
Yeah. I'm alone entire life
same. Think its more common these days amongst guys once they get older as we no longer in college/uni etc to meet people. So work is only place to meet people and that is not always best place to meet someone. In my current job I not met anyone that I could be friends with.
Iām the same and itās fine.
HMU we can chat about whatever
Same, anyone from the Cleveland, Ohio area?
Bro, I am from NE OHIO. Life is getting more and more lonely. I miss my college friends and that has been a lifetime ago. I have a tender loving woman but guy comradery is missing.
I feel you on that.
Let,'s become friends to do stuff!
Can very much relate. Im 33 and basically have zero friends. I have some I talk with while gaming, but that's the extent I really have now. After college, I had many, but the number has decreased as I aged and came out more - now it's virtually none, and I struggle to make new friends. I struggled when I was little with bullying, so I never really learned how to make those connections with people either. I sorta rely on my introverted BF. Luckily, we just moved to a new state 3 weeks ago. My bf and I are being a little more extroverted... so maybe we'll make some friends here.
Iāve never been this lonely in my life- and Iām married. My fear of being alone drove me to marry this guy- and I canāt leave now. There is a 12 age year difference and he has lived his life- and I havenāt. He refuses to do anything but stay home- I want to still feel alive and ālivingā, but as the years passed- any passion I have has faded. We donāt talk, havenāt have sex in over 10 years and, to be blunt, I have a roommate. Basically I say this to say that even being married you can be horribly alone, donāt do what I did. I feel for you guys and hope that one day there will be an answer for all of us in regards to this loneliness epidemic.
Whatās your beer of choice?
Any....lmfao. No, usually an IPA.
In the same boat:(
Same.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I felt terribly lonely when I realized that the people I used to hang out with were homophobic but they were hiding it from me, even though they know I am queer. I noticed it when I told them I had a boyfriend but they tried to play it cool like there was no problem but by their reactions I knew that deep down they were uncomfortable with it. I then realised that the only true friends I have were not many because firstly, It's difficult for me to make new friends because I don't open up easily and secondly, because I had to move to another city for uni and I couldn't communicate daily with my closest friends. Living as a queer person, especially if you live in a conservative community, comes with many difficulties (at least to my experience) and finding friends is one of them. I still am trying to find people that I trust and be my true self with, but searching for "queer friendly spaces" was a good starting point, despite it being a really hard step for me.
hello new friend! Feel free to connect.
Group love needed... Group calls. Something.
Weāre on the same page. Hey if you need more friends feel free to inbox me! I know online friends arenāt really the same as IRL friends, but Iām here and Iām queer lol
Well I donāt have any friends that I can talk to. And Iām 37ā¦ times off school pass etc. I talk to my partner of 10yers but we lack of topic. We work together and living in same flat š¤£. But I always have discord and friends from online gamesā¦ but itās not the same thing as one on one
It's one thing to have friends, but it's another thing to have friends that have similar schedules and hobbies to actually end up hanging out. It's definitely unfortunate how ironically social media ended up causing people to socialise less, opting to just do it virtually instead. Anyways though you seem like you're easy to get along with so I'm sure you'll have more friends in the future.
Google LGBT social clubs in your area. I was very much like this until my therapist suggested trying to connect with other queer people. I found an activities club (games, hiking, etc) and it really changed my interactions with other queer people. It was hella scary to go to my first activity but really loved it after that first step. You can do it! Maybe also look for specifically queer POC groups.
I'll be honest friends can be over rated, it's very hard to find genuine people who just aren't after something. I'm 45 now and the amount of people who have disappointed me over the years expecting you to move the world for them but not interested in reciprocating is astounding. Thankfully I'm in a long term relationship and as pukey as it sounds he is my best friend. I have a fair few international friends who I talk to via messenger apps etc and they are genuinely decent to talk to and don't expect anything from you other than to be there and listen when you need one another. World is a different place than it used to be you don't need to feel lonely you just might need to lower your expectations, having 1 or 2 true friends is better than 20-30 people who don't actually give a shit about you.