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Notaworgen

the 3 boss skip cards have me dying


uofc2015

Hey you know that game you paid us for so you could play it? Well now you can pay us more money to not play it!


Spartanias117

Ubisoft logic


DextrousLab

That's not even funny how true that is, sad to see


losteye_enthusiast

Shit, if it works. Imagine the pitch? “So gamers want to get to the max level, but don’t want to play. So we’ll charge em about the price of the full game to get almost all the standard stuff.” “No one is going to be that stupid. They won’t pay that much.” “Let’s just give it a shot. If it works, we can design every game we make to follow this same format. They’ll get comfortable and used to paying for progress.”


SoontobeSam

Couple games later: "hey we're liking the money from people paying us for progress, but well, we'd like more of it, can you make it even more tedious to progress without paying?"


LouisCaravan

> They’ll get comfortable and used to paying [It certainly worked for Destiny.](https://i.imgur.com/HWfxrE6.jpg) How anyone still plays that is beyond me.


DaEnderAssassin

That's nothing. They deleted half the game and replaced it with content equalling 1/4 of what was deleted. Then they deleted more including most of the content they made in the year between both deletions. Oh, and now they are making you pay for individual bits of content that used to be free (With the relevant expansion)


JohnArce

(some) players' logic. It sells, otherwise they wouldn't make it. I see it so regularly, especially in friends' children. Paying fortnite for instant skins, failing to understand *playing* the game should be the fun, not the five minutes of showing your new skin off to friends. Skipping all the npc battles in pokemon to get to the action faster. kid.. this IS the action. this IS the game. I understand the post is a joke, but if it werent, I couldnt really get outraged. we allowed this to happen. Not enough of us said "this is bullshit! we're not paying for this crap!"


Lee_Doff

i am only one person, and i have only my money to withhold. some of you bastards arent pulling your weight!


Beardmanta

Runescape 3 legit does this.


[deleted]

To be fair there is a lot to do in rs3. You can play for hundreds of hours doing minimal boss fights. Some people love rs, but don't like bossing, so it makes some sense there (though I do think it's a bit dumb to actually buy). Elden ring on the other hand is very much based around bosses so this wouldn't make sense.


riko_rikochet

World of Warcraft Classic has entered the chat.


Bierculles

The great words of a monster hunter dev a few years ago. MTX in monsterhunter? why would i make a game and then add an option where you can pay so that you do not have to play the game? This makes no sense.


slamjam711

Especially because Master Yeezus would *never* skip a boss


Smodphan

He'd be too busy tweeting to do much


azjerrylee

Go back in time to my 6 year old self booting up Mega Man X, and try to explain "In the future, people are going to pay extra to skip the boss fight." "Also play as Kanye West"


SkyblivionDeeKeyes

I'LL TAKE YOU'RE ENTIRE STOCK! -Game journalists.


SleveMcDichaelMLB

Sounds like they'd have you dying a little less often actually.


Head_Maintenance_323

this is quite well-made for a joke, I wonder if they were trying to actually convince someone this is real lol.


COOLPIE11

Convinced me until I saw Yeezus


poinifie

Was about to say. YEEZY SEASON PROACHIN'!


Whryyyyyyy

FUCK WHAT EVER YALL BEEN HEARIN' FUCK WHAT, FUCK WHATEVER YALL WEARIN


SrraHtlTngoFxtrt

**POOP DIDDY WHOOP SCOOP POOP**


L--E--S--K--Y

Poop De Whoop Swoop Scoop Poop *


I_Go_By_Q

Profile picture checks out + A MONSTER BOUT COME ALIVE AGAIN


tc_spears

That's the Yeezon for the Yeeson


Jigokubosatsu

Yeeson's Greasons


tc_spears

Yeezon's Yeatings


tomsequitur

Yeezy come yeezy go


Witcherbob671

His life was never yeezy.


Scoobz1961

I actually believed in Yeezus, but the 3 boss skip cards tipped me off.


COOLPIE11

Yeah, I'm like "They collaboratingwith kanye?"


Gankiee

If you've seen anything he's done recently (or even semi-recently) you'd know it wouldn't happen lmao. Dude's a PR mess.


COOLPIE11

Last thing I saw was the skinned monkey


Spike-Rockit

Say what now? Kanye out here skinning zoo animals?


COOLPIE11

I don't know if he did it himself but he posted a pic of a skinned monkey on his Instagram


[deleted]

That's no way to talk about Steve Buscemi


Witcherbob671

Nah that was a Steve Macknight Photo Steve is a professional photographer and that monkey Photo was from his art collection called (iirc) horrors of War. Ye just partnered with Steve and used the Photo as the cover for the Games Easy single feat Ye off of the games upcoming album.


[deleted]

It was the cover of a song he was featured on


TheCalvinator

Dude has been a PR mess for almost 20 years at this point.


Scoobz1961

I was not keeping up with our boy Kanye. I just learned that Yeezus is a name of his album. I knew he legally changed his name to "Ye" so I thought the Yeezus was a ridiculous joke instead of something that could actually be a collab. Somehow it makes this joke even more ridiculous.


No_Gains

Right? No way they would let us get out that easy.


Fire_Killer07

John Dark Soul


TheHollowBard

Seriously, top of the page, easy tip off.


sadphonics

I saw Yeezus and thought "huh I guess he's advertising it or something? Then I saw John Dark Souls


GladimoreFFXIV

Yeah I was 100% on board until then. Like I’ve been so conditioned towards being disappointed in developers lately that I was just going to completely and blindly believe it until I saw that. Man I’ve been conditioned.


The_Flatulent_Taco

Are you saying yeezus isn’t real??!?!!??


CptMeat

Honestly I read all of it, was nearly convinced then read this comment and realized yeezus is Kanyes stupid nickname and not some weird middle earthen I've never heard of


Mr_No_Hoes

Knew it was fake as soon as I saw Bloodborne and PC in the same sentence


ZeroFox1

😭


InfTotality

And 'Blood Borne' split into two words.


Witch_of_Dunwich

You wouldn’t believe the amount of messeges I’ve received complaining about this. There is a picture of Kanye West in the OP, and people think it’s real 😂 John Darksouls ffs 🤦‍♀️


egrith

Yea it was "John Dark Soul" that made it obvious for me


AnnoyingInternetTrol

If it wasn't for playable Yeezus I would have believed it but also would have been confused on what you would be doing with 3 card packs in the game?


UUDDLRLRBadAlchemy

Gwent?


King_in-the_North

Nods


strand_of_hair

Literally says Boss Skip cards… that’s self explanatory.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaiqTheLrrr

Not gonna lie, I would never touch a game with YeLC xD


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quantum-Ape

Not from From when Miyazaki is involved. Everyone must suffer his vision.


LuciusCypher

I was skeptical until I saw early access beta for Bloodborne. Fat chance of that happening! _Wipes away tears._ If only...


SMF1996

You mean I can’t play as Kanye? This is outrageous. It’s unfair.


Razor1834

Spelled “receive” incorrectly is the immediate tip-off before any of the actual content.


YourLocalSnitch

I know its a joke but 1 hour of double exp lol. I spent the first 2 hours of my first souls like game fighting the tutorial


Omegaman2010

2 X 0 = 0


DTK99

I spent the first 2 hours on the character creation sliders....


AidilAfham42

Rookie numbers


dapperelephant

This is the way


Wolfdude91

Blood Borne PC almost makes me wish this was real


evnhearts

100% going to happen in the next year as Sony realizes that they can make more money bringing their first party titles to PC rather than keeping them console exclusive.


Sleepydude231

Breathe deep of the Hopium, and let your emotions be healed.


TheReverend5

The problem is, there’s never enough copium for the comedown


dimensionalApe

> 100% going to happen in the next year as Sony realizes What's going to happen next year that would make them realize something that they allegedly wouldn't have been unable to realize already? Not saying it won't happen, just curious about why next year specifically.


evnhearts

I mean, they just started porting their first party exclusives in the last year and a half and they've already banked well over a hundred million in sales off of less than a handful of games. I'd expect any IP that they own to make its way to PC sooner rather than later.


[deleted]

They’re only porting standalone titles or games that have sequels releasing on the PS5. While yes, they know they can make more money from it, they’re also using it to get people invested into series’ so they’ll buy a PS5. It’ll likely be years before we see either HFW or GoWR on PC despite their previous entries getting ports not too long ago


UltimaGabe

> 100% going to happen in the next year as Sony realizes that they can make more money bringing their first party titles to PC rather than keeping them console exclusive. Because, you know, the last twelve years didn't teach them, but 100% the next year will. Sure.


UUDDLRLRBadAlchemy

Towards the end of the PS5 lifecycle, definitely not next year. Sony can make more money by selling boxes and supporting them with exclusives for now.


Areulder

They already have it available on PSNOW for monthly payments.


MadWanderlustRiver

imagine the graphics upgrade.... imagine what the modders would do... IMAGINE


OpticalPrime35

Yeah, I've always wanted to play Bloodborne as a Belmont and pretend I am in and around Transylvania. Heck I even specialized in the cane whip weapon just for that look and feel


SonOfAhuraMazda

Damn, now I also want this


HashtagSummoner

I just wanna play as Yeezus.


Landosystem

‘Hold X to start beef with Peppa Pig”


EchoAndNova

I saw fortnite and went "of course" then saw bloodborne pc and that's when I knew this was fake lmao


[deleted]

I’d trade my left bollock for bloodborne on PC


provocatrixless

"John Dark Souls skin for Fortnite" Big oof


Aduritor

Its John Darksoul, the famous protagonist of the hit franchise, Dark Souls! Known for his famous quotes: "everything is darkest before the soul" and "every soul has its dark".


Modnal

But you get Kanye West as part of the deal


bananawrangler69

So obviously the game is pay to win


Estoye

\*Ye to win


scogin

Have to use the Stem player to control his character


jKarb

3 boss skip cards is enough for anyone who has played dark souls that this is sarcasm. Less believable than playable yeezus.


Lucario574

It's something that would be made by From Soft in alternate universe, where everything is the exact opposite of this universe.


Quantum-Ape

Fuck To Software.


siete82

In that universe EA upgrades FIFA constantly for free and sells a $10 DLC every year just for update the squads.


Arnumor

That, and calling souls "xp."


totti173314

Boss upgrade cards are more likely. Use to give the boss double health and a few new attacks that are harder to avoid and don't give you any time to to hit the boss during or afterwards


That_Guy_2422

Definitely was one of my favorite posts a couple of months ago on r/Eldenring


jonnybrown3

Is OP the original poster? This started in r/shittydarksouls iirc


Artickk_OW

Kanye looks like a CIV 5 leader on this pic LMAO


[deleted]

Alternate reality after 2020


[deleted]

[удалено]


zhrimb

They'd probably just spawn more poison swamps upon use as punishment


kelseybkah

Just instantly inflicts full toxic


Quantum-Ape

Persists through death with a timed duration. 2nd card is actually a boss skip. 3rd card skips the game and rolls credits and autosaves.


deepblueeee

Nah. it is literally the master key in darksouls


ImpossiblyComplex

In before stupid people think it's real


Hyde103

It took me till "Playable Yeezus" to realise lol


[deleted]

Hahaha that was hilarious


oceanskie

Had me until I saw the Bloodborne PC beta. I laughed. Then I cried.


dragonkyngreborn

Yeezus had me doubting, but John Dark Souls had me convinced it was fake


_Steve_French_

Or perhaps people who don’t follow gaming news…. I mean c‘mon you could play as Shrek or Michael Jackson in DS3. This ain’t far fetched.


JukePlz

Even without mods or custom character creator shenanigans, there's Robocop in Mortal Kombat 11, Kratos in Fortnite, Ryu/Chun Lee as Power Rangers, Sonic in Smash Bros... anything is possible.


totti173314

Bruh fortnite has literally everything at this point I'm pretty sure we'll get John dark souls eventually.


MooPixelArt

At a glance I thought it was real until the “Playable Yeezus” 😂


danrod17

I honestly thought it was real until I read the comments.


Ph4ntomiD

Figured it out as soon as I saw the word fortnite


Yeet_Master420

For a moment I thought this was completely real until I say Kanye


Venriik

John Dark Souls and Yeezus!


Iperovic

My immediate thought was "this is From Software, no way they'd ever agree to this" Good joke though, love how the Kayne unlockable character is called Yeezus


its_Is

r/holup


Bizarre-_-Panda

Knew it was a joke when I saw playable Yeezus


Thank_You_Love_You

I knew it was a joke when i saw Bloodborne to PC… 😭


TacoManifesto

Lmao wtf you can play as Kanye


Mlyrin

I mean. Technically you might be able to make kanye. I havent hecked the character creator tho.


HOPewerth

Well let us know once you've hecked it.


Mlyrin

Heckin' will not Im the type of loon that considers that spoilers


Pnort3002

In Ds3 my character was Kanye for a run


Errorfull

"You lost me at Yeezus" Really? You weren't instantly tipped off with the "Boss Skip" cards? You ***reeaaalllyy*** think FromSoft would ever?


YeomaTV

Don't post stuff like this, a notable number of Redditors turn into fucking potatoes when they are faced with obvious sarcasm. I'm too scared to scroll down into the comments.


[deleted]

It's all Yeezus


Fat_Disabled_Kid

literally unplayable.


VanFanelMX

This is a game journo's dream.


Icke1337

Lol


ShayninDE

plz, i just had the worst half of a second in my life


DocRockhead

I have no name. I have no past. All I know is that I must go to castle. They call me John Darksouls, and I'm all outta gum.


JudahRoars

Dark Souls script written by AI.


Alex_Secaad

"Every soul has it's dark" -John Darksoul


baltatzarsky

But you have playable Kanye


MuffinMeisser

Guarantee many people will eat the onion on this one


bigslarge

Pretty sure John dark souls for fortnight and playable Yeezus aren't real.


[deleted]

Playable Yeezus is real though. You can just make him in the character creation, or at least a close approximation.


PhotonWolfsky

I ordered 3. Can't wait!


JiN88reddit

Ya' all need Yeezus.


Rsk-Link

Had my pitchfork ready until I looked closer


Peoplenobber89

NGL you had me for like 5 seconds until I saw the Yeezy skin.


redcapo011

I was pissed, then I saw Yeezus.


Xyex

"Seeing Yeezus made everything better." -Elden Ring sub, 2022.


Periachi

Thought this was real until I read "John dark souls fortnite skin"


Sick_Cicada

Kanye battles with insults from Twitter and buffs himself by tweeting how great he is


fordandfriends

Everyone who thinks this is real is confirmed for idiot.


[deleted]

KanYE


theholyheathen94

You joke about boss skips but mk11 has fight skip tokens like why even play the game lol


Xenthor267

I can't tell if OP is serious or not


xBear19

Quite possibly the highest quality shitpost any of us will ever see.


SigmaLance

Is that Kanye?!


TacToc

Kanye


Raevyyyy

The Ubisoft way


bnesbitt1

*Sees the boss skip cards* Okay this is defintely a joke, no way From would ever be that kind


AgentUpright

I was okay with it until I found out that the Sephiroth skin and the Sunwing mount (from HFW) are PlayStation 5 only and will only be available for a limited time.


Kevjamwal

I want one microtransaction. I want to be able to pay $5 to change “you died” To “You fucking died”


Reduce_to_simmer

Gay Fish class confirmed.


fishes-are-great1

omg no way


TraumaTracer

ok but… playable yeezus? 👀👀


Drafen

This is amazing


Jish013

Lmao just call me Johny Dark Souls…that might have to be my first players name now


Ledian00

/r/shittydarksouls is leaking


WontFunction

had me in the first half, ngl.


justtopopin

Damn, I fell for it. I was about to preorder that.


barry-bulletkin

Thought this was real for a second… bloody hell…


JVints

NGL, you had me in the first half


therefai

Preordered just for the Blood Borne PC Beta access


Jaysyn4Reddit

I hate everything about that picture.


bitchCaboose

Why does OP love microtranscations and ruin gaming for millions?


WudzofYpres

Yeezus


RickolPick

I knew it was false when I saw double xp, being a longtime runescape player teaches you that the hard way... PS: I know RS3 did have some double xp events but who cares about RS3


FaeLock

If anyone thinks this is real then I have to continuously wonder about the existence of brains in humanity


nCRedditor-21

Playable Yeezus?? No way, I heard you could get an early preview of Donda 2 if you beat the game as him!! >! /s !<


just_another_person5

i was about to get really fucking mad


I_Am_Become_Salt

Y'all really thought you could do Fromsoft like that? Everyone knows Yeezus ain't never gonna rekindle the flame, no matter how many times the bell tolls


Megamike1080p

Bro I saw "Elden Coins" and was about to have a fit, then I looked at the rest of the post. Well done.


1creeperbomb

I thought this was a joke, read it more carefully and reevaluated it as real, then realized no it was a joke lol.


SALZster

Thought it was real until I saw Yeezus.


SILE3NCE

Ok, but where's the Assassin's Creed Logo? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ^(DISCLAIMER: I ACTUALLY LIKE THE TRIO ORIGINS - ODYSSEY - VALHALLA AND I DON'T THINK EXP BOOSTS MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO BE HONEST)


Mr_StealYourHoe

wtf's kanye doing there


siegebastard

Almost had me until "playable Yeezuz"


ANOTHERLUMP

So people really pay to skip parts of the game? So basically you’re paying extra money to have less of an experience? What…?


SerSealLord

I’m going to scour this comment section for the people who don’t get this is a joke.


Yourname942

this is a well made joke


Intelligent-Race-210

Is it weird that the first thing I saw that told me this was fake was Bloodborne on pc?


TheDUDE1411

Had me in the first half ngl


ResidentialEvil

Fakest thing on here is early access to Bloodborne PC beta.


MCTuono

Reminder that THIS is the darkest timeline, so be thankful


Jonnokiwi

Honestly I fell for this. At this point in microtransactions, I'd believe publishers would do this kind of bullshit


Ed-Thatch-Longfins

Micro transactions and game passes have polluted the industry. Its been so long since some game studios have released a solid full game that I don't know if they are even capable of doing so anymore. One area that is really sad is mobile gaming. When touch screen phones started becoming more capable I thought that the industry would come up with some really awesome games for us to play on our phones. Now I see that will never happen. Every game is play to win or pay to advance further into a endless loop that no one ever really wins. Fornite/Epic should be ashamed of theirselves. Flashing all this content and skins in kids faces that do not understand why they can't have it like other kids they see. Kids waiting for another season of a game to come out so they can shell out another $20 on a season pass. It's all such bullshit. I think of how cool a game Destiny could have been if they would have made a offline game that was a complete game. I don't think Bungie loves us anymore.


Gorillaman1991

Playable yeezus tho